#i want to see it all fall apart for her

[breathe-2am]

Im excited for the demasking of the gerrard/ortiz collusion of cruelty bc it will DEFINITELY be the culmination/resolution of the mara adoption drama and the henchim friend divorce

Bc look at it from the outside

Youre councilwoman ortiz. Ur son was driving under the influence and caused a nasty car accident that hurt multiple people. He loudly refused treatment in front of multiple witnesses, including telling a paramedic that if he even touched him hed get him fired and ruin his career. The acting captain on the scene then gets his confirmation that he is refusing treatment, and then moves on to focus on the other people in the accident that your son caused. Your son then dies later that night, which could have been prevented if he got checked out and not refused to be looked at. Your kneejerk reaction is to suspend the acting captain, but when the toxicology report comes back its confirmed that your sons alcohol level was several times the legal limit to be driving at the time of the accident. She is reinstated, but in the time between that she orchestrated and executed a high profile dangerous rescue of multiple people, including her stations captain, a police sergeant, and a child- an act of bravery for which she and her team received medals of valor, and the fire chief is using as major publicity to promote his department and political career.

And then you suspend the paramedic and her wifes fostering license, and directly prevent them from adopting a child, who has been in the foster system for years, and who would now be with a permanent family if you didnt interfere. The paramedics longtime friend and coworker (the one your son threatened to get fired) gets the child an emergency placement with him instead so that this poor nine year old girl doesnt go straight back into a group home.

And then when that paramedics captain has a family and medical emergency that takes him out of his job, you reinstate the captain who was at the station twenty years ago, who was removed for how poorly he treated the people he had power over, and specifically targeted the paramedic you hate on the basis of her race and sexuality. There is a mountain of complaints from that firehouse against him, and a matching mountain of commendations for the paramedic, all submitted without her knowledge or direction, and in the years following that captains removal, her firehouse becomes one of the most high profile and celebrated teams in the city, and is in the public eye for their part in helping many many people as well as being major players in triaging the natural disasters that have happened. One of the newer firemen dated a reporter who kept them on the news, and she even published a tell all book detailing the trials and tribulations this team (and specifically the two paramedics) went through.

And now imagine youre a random person in los angeles and you read all of that in the news. You read how this public official used her political connections to enact a personal vendetta against a paramedic because she did not treat your son when he refused (as is her job, it would be illegal for her to do so without his consent) after he was driving drunk and caused a multi car accident.

Would you vote for her?

Tldr councilwoman ortiz is COOKED

[caitlynmeow]

Cassandra loves being on stage and be the center of attention but at the same time she also is an overachiever and if she comes in second place that’s just like her losing she just doesn’t cope with anything less than the top spot.

She feels like she’s disappointing her mama and she can’t deal with the thought. For the life of her, Alcina can’t figure out where Cassandra is getting these thoughts from. She never insinuated that he she expects the best, all she wants is for her daughter to enjoy what she’s doing and the result doesn’t matter. But Cassandra is adamant: anything less than the tip spot and she’s the disappointment of her mother.

She gives herself so much stress and anxiety over it and no matter what Alcina says or does, it doesn’t change.

[zer0point5ive]

silly little details i suppose but i love how diana’s room is a mixture of so many things like i’m truly obsessed with the way it didn’t end up just being a generic pink princess sort of bedroom with bare walls and no clutter and instead she’s got some castle-y snowglobe and a picture with an extra funky frame on her bedside table, a massive snake toy across her headboard and teddies and dolls and a fancy little vanity, tons of horse riding awards and pictures she’s drawn hung on the walls and i just love how real it is to be honest

[chocottang]

the more i think abt goldica the more i like it

[mamawasatesttube]

you guys i have so many thoughts about tdr. i have so much to say. like i don't want to be super mean but dude that comic fucking sucks and i can't lie i think it made me kind of homophobic actually

[swagstar]

nightcord is about mental health but also what heavily affects it - the upbringing. you have 2 characters at complete diffrent ends of the spectrum - kanade who was unconditionally loved by her parents, who supported her interests and loved her no matter what; and mafuyu, who has a parent who doesnt give a shit about her interests or what she likes, only about what they want for her.

you really see an effect of that - kanade heavily echoes the love her parents gave her. she loves and loves and by god does she love. she emits so much love and care to the poeple close to her, especially mafuyu, that the only way i can describe this is motherly. not in the sense that kanade babies mafuyu but that she unconditionally loves her no matter what. even at mafuyu's lowest points she was there for her. no matter what mafuyu said or did she was always there to say "mafuyu im here for you. mafuyu i care about you. mafuyu ill help you find yourself no matter what.".

And seeing what kanade grew up with its heartbreaking for her to find out how mafuyu's parents really are. before speaking to mafuyu's mother she was determined that maybe she has to just tell her what mafuyu's she'll change her mind. maybe if she tells the truth she'll change her mind. maybe, maybe, maybe. when she finally speaks to her and finds out how mafumom really is its heartbreaking for her to fully realize what mafuyu was going through. its terrible to see that kanade got a taste of the trauma that mafuyu experienced. it really shakes her world view - not that she's innocent but that parents, compared to hers, can be so terrible and unloving. it boggles her mind that parents who are supposed to unconditionally love and support their child, be there for them no matter what, can be this terrible.

its immensely interesting to see these 2 perspectives clash and what kind of effect kanade and mafuyu have om eachother with these diffrent pasts

[cent-scratchnsniff]

almost forgot about this. made as soon as i finished reading day 48 and booted down my laptop . good god. not quite sure what happened with this. it was something to the effect of 'oh. god he really loved didn't he.' in full force AGAIN. the parts of banging on the door, doors in general, just carmen as a whole other thing, the yelling, the want to die to sink to be forgotten. yeah. that was a trip. carmen... i know you meant well with your words but he took it LITERALLY......

[nicollekidman]

i actually don't hate the potentials as much this time as i did the first time bc it's truly not their fault that joss whedon doesn't believe girls can socialize/be friendly with each other

[crownrots]

[featherymainffins]

Now this might be because I have issues but is it just me or does Slay The Princess feel like an allegory for a relationship?

[solar-eclipsed]

Amelia …. Amelia I love you …. Amelia ….

[perenlop]

random thing but thinking about how controlling bruno got towards dusk when they realized she was pregnant…. :(

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

i think i finally realized why ive been feeling so damn depressed lately again

sorry for writing this here. im really hurting actually. im not good. i feel a bit helpless too. idk who to talk to bc i dont want to burden anyons and i donf feel like anything could console me right now

Like. fuck me man. thanks for saving me but. why the hell are you not here. i dont want to do this without you. i hate only being able to remember you. i was supposed to grow old with you, not without you.

And. honestly. even with all this bullshit i say here, all the endless times i spend trying to write down my feelings, abt you, about all the pain ive felt my life, it doesnt get better. not at all. and no words, no poetry takes it away and i truly feel like nobody will ever truly understand how suffocated i felt all my life.

and i want to change thanks to you but. i dont know. nothing's satisfying enough.

no matter what, i truly only feel great when im in that daydream like world you created.

and these past days ive been thinking a lot that. i really wouldnt mind dying right now. not at all. because at least i know what happiness feels like. and i want to stay in that state. probably, even in this life your music will bring me happiness, but i want to be trapped in it.

im tired of being so unseen, and even when im seen, im hurting. but i dont know whats hurting. i think im just really tired thats all.

and. ye. i feel brave tbh. i still havent posted my video to instagram, bc im not brave for that. i dont know. and i feel like a hypocrite bc everything is true that i wrote there but at the same time these are my thoughts currently

in a long while i looked up suicide methods again. i feel so hopeful, but im not really sure if really for the future. jm sorry this is probably alarming. i will probably not kill myself but. idk. im not sure actually. i dknt know what to say. i wasnt cut out for this wordly shit.i feel unlovable but even if im loved, i donf want to be. i dont want anything. just let me stsy in this quiet place snd just. disappear. i wouldnt want my family to hurt if i die but i wont know about it anyways. idk man. i feel strongly i could die calmly this time and thats nice. bc 6 years ago i was terrified, and hurt. but now im content and kind of ready idk man. its not a terrible feeling, its a "this is it, it was nice while it lasted" ig.

there are no clouds in my head actually. i truly dont feel like im thinking irrationally, i feel like this would just be like. the end goal i was looking for. to feel true love once. it was nice.

no goodbye yet bc idk how id kms even if i do. But ill tell u guys if i found something.

[mamawasatesttube]

you guys i have so many thoughts about tdr. i have so much to say. like i don't want to be super mean but dude that comic fucking sucks and i can't lie i think it made me kind of homophobic actually

[l0rd-0f-c0ws]

I frequently feel completely isolated no matter how much I talk to people. So that's fun

[denimsnake]

the charlotte dujardin scandal is so fascinating. there are so many people feeling betrayed by her bc they thought charlotte was "one of the good ones." but to me this response just demonstrates how much animal abuse is normalized in modern dressage (and many equestrian disciplines).

i have never once seen her ride in a manner that is good for the horse. not to be all like "i saw this coming" but i thought it was pretty obvious she didn't give a shit about horse welfare, simply based on how she rode in the ring. anyone who is genuinely surprised that she would whip a horse like that needs to read up on equine biodynamics and behavior. was she the worst in the industry? no, of course not. there are people still doing rollkur. and i suppose by that measure she was "one of the good ones." but she has consistently kept her horses behind the vertical, hollow-backed, on the forehand in the dressage ring in front of the world, and that sends a pretty clear message to me that she doesn't know what she's doing and/or doesn't care about horses. if she did, she would have used her platform to speak up for horses rather than conforming to modern trends. she has never been a kind rider.