#aviae to truly let down her guard around. leliana is too attached to the maker for her. ironically the assassin is the one she bares her

[crows-of-buckets]

Thinking too hard about Aviae and Zevrans friendship and it's making me Ill

[crows-of-buckets]

#dragon age#oc: aviae surana#crow rambles#you look into the assassins eyes and you see a twisted mirror of yourself. of the internal struggle between the want of survival and the#want of it all to end. you hold your hand out to him. this will change both of your lives forever#and when the archdemon is dead and your lover has left you and the pieces you had been frantically trying to hold together fall apart and#shatter. he holds out his hand to you.#THEY MAKE ME SICK. SICK. IM NAUSEOUS OUGGHHHHH#both of them are living for the first time. both of them grew up trapped in a gilded cage. they recognize it in each other#theres a certain instant understanding between them. maybe neither of them notice it but they both warm up to each other very fast#aviae has reason to be wary of everyone in the party: alistair was almost a templar. morrigan is. well morrigan. wynne is too pro circle for#aviae to truly let down her guard around. leliana is too attached to the maker for her. ironically the assassin is the one she bares her#throat to willingly. she sees the reflected desire and WANT of survival in him. the longing for freedom. it just. oughhhh#ive said it before but if zevran had showed up sooner he would have been her canon love intrest#however i MUCH prefer their friendship it does something to my brain chemistry#she can just be so??? bare and honest with him?? when she tells him about the circle and its horrors#about waking up to friends missing. about templars eyes lingering where they were unwanted. about the constant surveillance she went through#he GETS it. i get why people are so ill avout zevsurana bc their friendship alone has me about to sob#it is 2:38 am and i cannot fall asleep bc i am thinking about them. insane

okay no apparently im not done with this i woke up thinking about it. Aviae and her breakdown post origins is so fascinating to me. Shes lived her whole life, head on a metaphorical chopping block, and now the axe has swung and by some miracle it missed her neck. Now there's nothing hanging over her head, and for the first time her life cannot revolve around surviving. Because she's done that!! She survived!! Now she has to figure out what exists outside of that and it. oughhhh. Freedom feels weird and she doesn't know what to do with it. This is also around the time where she starts to realize that the wardens are just another pretty cage shes trapped in and she starts to resent them so much for it.

Theres so much guilt and conflicting feelings about the fact that she even is alive. She wants to be alive. But she doesn't know what to do with it. She's tired. She needs a break but god knows shes not going to get one. The archdemon is dead and now she has no goal, and is just? There. She has no goal. She has no one telling her what to do. For the first time in her life shes aimless. The blight is done.

Now she has to figure out how to live without being in survival mode, and it manages to kick off one of her worst depressive episodes of her life. Aviae Surana and the no good, very bad Awakening DLC

Thinking too hard about Aviae and Zevrans friendship and it's making me Ill

[poorlyorganizedattic]

#you look into the assassins eyes and you see a twisted mirror of yourself. of the internal struggle between the want of survival and the#want of it all to end. you hold your hand out to him. this will change both of your lives forever#and when the archdemon is dead and your lover has left you and the pieces you had been frantically trying to hold together fall apart and#shatter. he holds out his hand to you.#THEY MAKE ME SICK. SICK. IM NAUSEOUS OUGGHHHHH#both of them are living for the first time. both of them grew up trapped in a gilded cage. they recognize it in each other#theres a certain instant understanding between them. maybe neither of them notice it but they both warm up to each other very fast#aviae has reason to be wary of everyone in the party: alistair was almost a templar. morrigan is. well morrigan. wynne is too pro circle for#aviae to truly let down her guard around. leliana is too attached to the maker for her. ironically the assassin is the one she bares her#throat to willingly. she sees the reflected desire and WANT of survival in him. the longing for freedom. it just. oughhhh#ive said it before but if zevran had showed up sooner he would have been her canon love intrest#however i MUCH prefer their friendship it does something to my brain chemistry#she can just be so??? bare and honest with him?? when she tells him about the circle and its horrors#about waking up to friends missing. about templars eyes lingering where they were unwanted. about the constant surveillance she went through#he GETS it. i get why people are so ill avout zevsurana bc their friendship alone has me about to sob @ crows-of-buckets

Thinking too hard about Aviae and Zevrans friendship and it's making me Ill