#i wanna see them live again so bad
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I love being a casual fan of musicians, because I'll look them up on spotify maybe like once every two years, and either they've released an album and four EPs and singles in that time, or they still have all my favorite music and if that's not a win-win then i don't know what is
#squirrel speaks#same thing happened with Glen Hansard and now “All that was east is west of me now” is one of my new favorite albums#anyway i'm like two tracks into “Clear Cold Beyond” the Sonata Arctica album that came out this year#and man this shit goes HARD#like it's very much giving me that Ecliptica/Days of Greys/Unia vibe from back in the 00's?#i remember around Stones Grow Her Name in '12 they started experimenting a bit and that was good too#but this feels more like the stuff i had originally fallen in love with#that classic booming power metal that makes my heart feel like it's about to beat up into my throat#AUGH i love my favorite boyband; five growling nordic men my dad's age#i wanna see them live again so bad#...... anyway is it the brainrot or is Davrin's genre 100% power metal#like how Karalch is dad rock yknow
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Hi I'm addicted to this song rn
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Submas Headcanon because I am once again Lost In The Sauce:
Ingo is far sighted and Emmet is near sighted.
Emmet wears contacts All The Time because he can't stand wearing glasses. The constant smudging, the feeling of them on his face, the frames being just barely at the edge of the vision FOREVER!!!! He HATES it. The whole ordeal is quote "verrrrrry tedious. It is not worth my time." This does make going to the beach with Electross a living nightmare, however. Will Not wear sunglasses (if you have light eyes you know sunlight is The Devil) and it's game over if sand gets in his eyes.
Ingo doesn't have to wear glasses in the day-to-day, but this fact comes back to bite him when it comes time to read reports. He often leaves his glasses at home and this causes new employees to think he actually IS in a constant bad mood, given how he's GLARING HOLES into his paperwork. This always gets cleared up rather quickly, but he refuses to keep a pair of glasses at work for some reason... (The reason is he's too embarrassed that it took him so long to think of that)
Elesa is constantly telling the boys they should wear their glasses more because glasses suit them, (and also sunglasses would be genuinely helpful for seeing in the summer EMMET-) but they decline every time. Ingo, out of modesty and Emmet, out of pettiness.
"C'mon Emmy, you'll look GREAT!! Just look at Ingo, looking distinguished in his glasses, reading his book."
"He looks like an old man."
">:|"
"The blanket on your lap does not help."
#submas#subway boss emmet#subway boss ingo#pokemon elesa#i had to add elesa I HAD TO#it took literal MONTHS for ingo to think of work glasses. he wont ever live that down#i wanna see them in glasses SO BAD AAAAAAA#was i projecting on to emmett a little bit Yet Again?? yes i am near sighted and exhausted
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GUYS I THINK AARON TVEITS GONNA BE OUT OF MOULIN ROUGE THE ENTIRE WEEK IM THERE WHAT THE FUCK HELP
#Like I know taking rest is super important and I’m not mad at him in the slightest#But I’m a huge fan of him and I really wanted to see him in that role#Like genuinely I was gonna see moulin rouge just for him#Now idk#And again#I love understudies!! It’s not about the them being bad#It’s about being a hugeeee fan of him as an artist and person and spending so much time hoping I could see him live#And then the idea that I would miss seeing him live by literally a day just hurts like hell#I just don’t wanna sound like one of those people who sees a show#learns theyre seeing an understudy#And then hates on the understudy the whole show#Or gets mad at an actor for missing a show#jean has thoughts#aaron tveit#moulin rogue broadway#Jeans broadway trip
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screaming into the void <3
#my best friends boyfriend (who i’ve also been friends with for years) is just. not himself rn#we think it’s a manic episode but we don’t really know but it’s. terrifying lowkey#he thinks he’s genuinely jesus and that he’s conquered time and that he and my bsf are adam and eve#he’s been sending my bsf liek hundreds of texts per day since tuesday but it got really really bad and incoherent yesterday#and i woke up this morning to see multiple texts from gcs he created w me in them#and he keeps being like ‘because it’s 6:20 this is true’ and like ‘i know that at 9 pm everyone is gonna understand’#and he’ll text like 5 times then send a sc of what he just texted like that proves something but it’s all nonsense#i’m just really really concerned cause he really needs help but i don’t know how to ensure that happens cause he’s 19. not a minor#he’s just. not him rn. he’s called my bsf multiple times yesterday when he HATES calling normally#he had his band and his mom over in his apartment yesterday cause my bsf called his mom and h went to his bands show but was visibly not ok#and he saw nothing weird about it even tho he hates having ppl over normally and never without warning#and you can’t get him to see logic because everything you say he just twists around to work for him#to be clear it was not this bad when it started. when it started it seemed like normally maybe slightly out there conclusions he was drawing#but it just got worse and worse like exponential decay and really bad yesterday#he also didn’t sleep at all yesterday night and idk if he slept tonight#i know his mom took his phone at one point but he texted me and gcs w me in it starting at like 6:20 this morning#and my bsf and i and friends are on a trip out of state rn but we’re leaving today and i don’t wanna wake her up until i have to because#this is literally hell for her. but it’s just. scary. i don’t know what to do. i don’t think there’s any good options really for me rn#i want to warn ppl and try to explain he’s Not Him rn so they don’t get concerned but who knows if they’ll understand what i’m trying to say#i know it’s not the end of the world but it really feels like the end of my world as i know it if that makes sense#and my bsf lives with him in an apartment near their college and they just signed the lease for the next year#but she can’t stay there with him alone. not until he gets help. we’re all too scared it’s going in the directon where he thinks it’s better#for ppl to go to the afterlife. which like he never would normally. but he’s Not Him and so like. who knows#he keeps talking about all these different dimensions and how you need to travel to the 7th dimension to understand#my bsf was crying yesterday and she called her mom to explain and she keeps saying that she just wants her jake back it’s really scary#cause he will probably never be the same again. he’ll be similar but different but she wants his comfort but he’s Not Him. and can’t give it#i just. really want this to get better but it’s so hard to see that happening rn
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My whole body hurts a lot
#FUCKING LOVE PUNK#THE BEST THING EVER#LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT#I SAW A BUNCH OF PRETY PPL#AND A LOT OF THEM LOOKED SO COOL#ALSO I GOT TO SEE ONE OF MY FAV BADS LIVE#I SCREAMED A LOT#didnt join the mosh pit cuz those scare me a lot#BUT I LOVED IT AAAAAAA#i wanna do that again#(my neck feels like its gonna fall off)
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welp . due to "unforeseen" circumstances, imma have to leave my toxic ass household :D
#like lolllll who is surprised#i just didn't think i'd potentially have lesser of a relationship w my sibling bc of it#but it is what it is#idk what it is about male-centered women standing behind their man when they're manipulative violent assholes#but again - how can i really blame a victim like i get it ig ur in a hostage situation yourself babe#anyways. idk where my dad got this bat from but i got it in my room just in case someone wants to put their hands on me again#mind you - my situation is literally so easily solvable but bc these ppl are stubborn ...#like. the entitlement is crazy idk#like u want me to be down in the basement with YOUR kids that u neglect and don't even watch#and get mad when i set ground rules for them to follow? which is cleaning up after themselves???? oh brother#like you would think you'd wanna be down here to monitor ur kids but nooooo#they literally want the room upstairs and it was *decided* before we moved in (i didnt even have a chance jdksks)#and they want it bc they want to be far away from their own kids as possible.... like yalls actions are shitty.#imagine if i did ts to them where I have kids - I have them near you - and I DO NOTHING to parent them . thats a frustrating situation for#anybody i feel like ??#and before we moved - i DID have the upstairs like woopty doo ig nicer ofc and they were STEADYYYY trying to get me out of that room#(mind you - i have lived there since i was 12/13 and they came wayyy after)#like ... r u kidding me lolololol u want authority so bad over a basement ur not even in anymore#like mind u im not trying to overstep and be their parent ? ik im not . im just their auntie#its just so wilddddd to me they dont see how silly this is?#like maybe im wrong ? but having ur kids stay downstairs when ur upstairs was already off to me. like bffr u want them kids out your face#and u tryna pass them off to me and it's not subtle. but then get mad when i say smth abt behavior OH BROTHERRRRR#but anyways. the straw that broke the camels back was the fact this ngga spit on me. AND then put his hands on me. like omg???#i wanna break his shit so bad w this bat but chile....that is not productive and that is not me#but the rage i have omgggg. i wanna cus its like?? fuck you. ur literally an ABUSERRR idgaf about ur feelings btch.#chatter
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i cannot possibly understand extreme sex negativity or extreme sex positivity. like. there's no nuance the way you people do it...
#sometimes you should have shame sometimes it doesn't matter but jesus christ i feel like a lot of ppl on this website are the last ppl who#should be discussing this stuff#i myself am a virgin but you guys kinda make me never wanna have sex sometimes LMAO#it's just wild how you operate in the same ways without meaning to. these movements have the same issues at their core which is everyone#is different. not everyone is ever going to be comfortable openly discussing sex/masturbation or seeing it publicly and that's not a fault#of their character it's just simply something they don't wanna see. but you get called a prude for just not wanting to be uncomfortable LMA#like yeah life isn't really designed to be a comfortable experience but you people aren't living in any kind of reality#and dgmw sex negative people are just as bad if not worse about all this#but once again i find myself wondering why people are so all or nothing with every single issue... sigh#some situations call for black and white thinking but a vast majority of them are grey. it would be great if it was easy but nothing is#ANYWAYSSSSS i've talked too much today i need to settle down
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went on a first date today and saw my last date ACROSS THE STREET AND SHE YELLS "HEY ZAN"
#that was crazy#lowkey knew we were in her area tho shld have been prepared#also wasnt rly sure if today was a date?#we held hands a small bit and slightly flirted but nothing crazy idk was first time meeting#i rly like them but maybe platonicly idek#where i live is so small#anyways blah blah blah this is cringe to post idc#i rly liked them tho i think we r gna go to a rave together in a few weeks!#i think i have only been truly in love once or twice#other relationships were kinda just attractiction/obsession/results from being love bombed#i wanna feel that true connection again#meeting another date possibly this weekend!#we have so much in common i have a feeling i may fall for them very hard#ok just ranting more but#today's date had a very similar face to one of my exes#didn't realize until seeing them in person#kinda caught me off guard a few times maybe another reason why i might wna keep things platonic w them#thqt ex was bad news lol
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why the fuck do i miss pigeons
#don't ask me i am going thru it today#ebhehbbehbhebhabh#i miss pigeons dude#oooh the poor little domesticed cuties#kate rambles from here#this is a small detail of the feeling i am feeling#like post leaving nyc is wrecking havoc on my psyche#i don't want to be in the fucking great plains#a few irls don't understand my want for city life- and i didn't know it was this bad until staying there for 4 days-#but my mom's whole family is from the city- i just feel so at home there- and everything i've inherited that way is in my blood#and i just wanna bawl my eyes out#i have been quite a bit but like ik i have a goal now- to move into the city- i've always had that goal to at least move to the city near m#but like nyc was like being somewhere i felt i wanted- it's not that i'm looking to make it big- i miss the noise the water and pigeons#around here you'll hear the occasional car go by- and crickets- i miss the city lights- i keep crying about it for so many reasons but#i just don't know how to actually express it?#because it's such an odd feeling for me to feel? because if yknow me well- i love being at home- i hate sleeping somewhere else-#taking a trip down south this last christmas- i couldn't stand the quiet- it's quieter the more south you go and i can't do this#i've always wanted to leave my small town but ?? like actually being somewhere that has felt home has been unattainable bc every#where in oh hasn't been home... and for once i felt like i could do this- and having to return here- just made me break down and cry#maybe it's the person i live with- that makes me wish to leave- but that's not the full truth- idk maybe a good nap will help#kate rambles#i have a life goal now but i wish i could do it now- i hope sooner rather than later i'll at least live in the city#i've been happily living but now i have a direction i wish to run towards- and i'm gonna chase after it#sure i miss seeing tbz i loved seeing them- but it's not even post concert depression- if that makes sense?#which it doesn't make sense- because for mx it was only pcd- but for nyc it's missing the city... and it feels awful#pls ignore this i just needed to be frustrated somewhere#ig knowing what i'm missing- i can finally work on filling that spot huh? i guess that's what i'll be doing#(also vv small point but the fact that one of the people i live with- refuses to ever visit nyc again- is so comforting to me)#pls don't send me an ask about this i just needed to ramble and i haven't caught up on my daily journal yet to do so- so this is here
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for real though that post is so true on the love front i think about it all the time like why is everyone so LOVELESS not even just in like cishetero marriages where they hate each other just in general like platonic too. it drives me craaazy when im exposed to it like why are ppl like this !! why dont you love your friends and partner!! its like everything is a social game that theyre playing just for validation and lacking real connection and its a game where theyre always about 2 steps away from being bitter and hateful towards their friends/lover like STOOOOP! im someone who values love and kindness so much and it baffles me. why do you hate your partner! why do you talk about them like theyre an object of validation! why are you dating someone you clearly dislike! why are u so mean to ur friends behind their backs im cryin. why do you up and abandon them the second you get a partner bc you dont value them over the romantic validation you get. ive always been such an affectionate person at heart and i value what my friends say so much and i always find myself feeling so distant from people in relationships because they just feel?? so shallow?? and distant from me. like i think oh this preson gets me but theres ppl who say the same things how they value kindness and love but its always like, immediately clear they are actually a deeply mean person and just enjoy feeling like theyre 'good'. the way society functions with relationships feels so intensely shallow and i cannot connect to it at all. i love my friends and i love people and i always want to understand them and reach out with compassion and be close to them physically and emotionally speaking and talk a lot and listen to them. however im cursed to live in a world of 1 word responses if any at all and shallow relationships where no one gaf about each other and then i get told i talk too much. hello? *tapping mic* hello? is this thing on? be filled with whimsy and love going forward please. anyway does anyone else feel this way or is it just me feel free to talk about it if youd like
#thank god i finally found some friends who are like this too it was so rough before#it sucks tho bc ive been so tired lately its hard for me to live up to this#which i dont hate myself for its valid its just like waaah i wanna have the energy to really put my all in friendships again#for half my life my biggest want and goal in life has been to be someone approachable and who seems kind#even to people with anxiety and i think growing up with anxiety greatly shaped that#i value being kind and compassionate and understanding to such a degree that i spent and still spend time actively working#towards that goal and unlearning being judgemental and bitter#bc i want to be kind so badly and to put kindness in the world...#no but seirously why do people date ppl they dont like#wym you guys arent so unabashedly in love that you practically see hearts thinking of them#wym your entire chest doesnt fill with joy and the simple prospect of them experiencing lifes small joys no matter how little and mundane#to love so wholly that you strive to be a good person not out of guilt or feeling like you are bad but because you desire so deeply to be#good for them and put as much goodness in their life as you can because its what they deserve...💙💙#ANYWAY LMFAO! im sappy asf as a person sorry everyone but also not sorry#pers
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ANOTHER DEATH BY INMOLATION???? ENOUGH!!!!
#really happy about being wrong about oden. normally when you see something is badly written it is true but here oden being alive being bad#writing was a trally a gotcha moment.... well unlike with pell and laki and wiper..... and conis' dad....#ashura....... and kanjuro is still alive...... this man deserves an execution#is this orichi??? the beheaded one was a kanjuro drawing too???? jesus#orichis fruit is a dragon with a lot of heads.... maybe he can regrow them lmao....#omg double hakai.... goodbye my brave soldiers.... ZORO?? ENMA IS A GODSEND YOU OWN ALL YOUR LIVES TO HIYORI....#zoro got hurt and luffy is on the offensive again..... exactly..... YES RED ROCK!!! BUT DON'T MISS!!!#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1025#oden and kin on a flower field..... okay......#luffy stopping the attack meant for zoro.... oof#kaido's face knowing this was gonna hurt....#kid and traffy catching luffy too..... everybody loves luffy.....#how can luffy just stop kaido's attack like that's insane....#the others attacking big mom... that was such a big brain move.... they made teams here... luffy and then the brains (everyone elseÑ#jesus. that was something else#luffys giggle and smile when kid and tragfy catch him... he is so happy when people are there for him..... he loves fighting with friends :)#episode 1026#OMG GOODBYE BIG MOM!!!! SHE IS IN THE SEA I CANT BELIEVE THIS!!!!!#TRAFFY RATHER LET THE MISSION FAIL THAN ONE OF THEM DIE??? OMG#HOW IS PROMETHEUS IN THE WATER?????? FUCK OFF!!!!#they are bullying zeus lmaooo INTERNAL FIGHTING!! INTERNAL FIGHTING!!!#luffy knocked out and atill looking at kaido again.... ooff#this is insane. luffy just saved zoro and told him he wont need to die and here he goes again. oh this time i migh fr die. take care goodbye#the bleeding... oof THE SCAR JUST AS THE ONE HE HAS.... goodbye zolo..... rip bozo... don't fall like that man..... ass up like sanji...#he got a 2x1 hit..... goodbye law too.... kaido's eye when he notices luffy is up again.... also haoshoku..... i dont wanna look it up.....#nvm is the conqueror's haki.... i do not remember the og names AT ALL#episode 1027
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GRRRRR I HATE IT HERE I HATE LIVING WITH MY DAD AND STEPMOM IT'S THE WORST!!!!! I AM FUCKING MISERABLE.
#weed screams#i just wanna snap and yell at them for traumatizing me. I'm so angry. I'm so pissed that I've had to deal with so much bullshit here#I've only been here a week after moving out of the apartment i shared with my brother and I'm already going insane again#i have to buy my own food despite there being plenty in the house. I'm not allowed to bring dishes to my room even for just a few minutes.#there's two large excitable not well trained dogs that bite and scratch me#the cats in the house have to hide in the basement all day (to avoid the dogs) and i feel so bad for them#i feel like im the only one who actually tries to relate to my stepsister. i feel bad knowing she has to stay here too.#my stepmom makes rules without TELLING ME. and then gets all bothered when i don't automatically pick up on em#and the wifi sucks shit so i can't play splatoon#i can't wait to move to New York i just have to wait a little bit longer#enduring the horrors once more till i can escape to the big city#this living situation is both infuriating and saddening. there is NO REASON to justify how stressful it is to be here.#like. when i moved out of this place the first time my mental health improved so suddenly my therapist said i didn't need to see him anymore#that's not a fucking coincidence. my stress and anxiety has a root source and it's this hellhole of a house.
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mm i Neeed to go the beach
#just me hi#wauhuhh !#something about just drifting around in water that i am slightly scared of that really makes my brain whir happily lol :>#i am slightly scared of it for two major reasons: 1) fish. lord the fish why are they so scary 2) sometimes i think i'll drown and they jus#won't find the body. which is less rational than the fish so that's why fish is my number 1 fear at all times lmao#/i think out of all the animals on the planet i am the most scared of ordinary fish. not even the deep sea stuff hfbshv#cuz look they're so far down there you Have to assume they look funked. and also they prolly don't like human meat. so it's cool#but regular fish?? some of them eat birds. they eat birds dude. what would they do to me if they knew how to use harpoons??#also they for SURE eat corpses so we loop back to fear no. 2 really just being fear no. 1 hbfhs#/see i'm not even that scared of the animals my parents are determined on exploding. like man if i get eaten that was prolly bound#to happen anyway. i Know how that goes. i know what mauling is lol#i am the only person in this house who will walk around outside on a moonless light w/ no flashlight because if i was sposed to be dead i#can guaranteE there are much better opportunities. funnier ones‚ too#/just looked it up bobcats are SHY little guys. they are just shy babies. except for when they have rabies :)#shy rabies babies <3#/anyway back to the fish. i don't like how there are some that specifically like to eat human skin. mmm no i have never liked that ever not#one little bit. makes my skin crawl hghfsh#i don't care what it does or can do that is NOT cool lil dude ;w;#/hang on i'm googling 'weirdest things fish eat' because i want to scare myself i guess hbfhvbsf :'3#they're only showing me weird fish!!! no !! tell me about a fish that's living exclusively off of plastics!! or car tires !! come on !!!#these guys are just funky looking. and just Kinda funky looking. though this humphead guy is funny lol :)#he looks scary but with a charm that i can't deny#his forehead. and mouf. this guy is awesome#and of course he's endangered because the world is exploding. but it's so cool he exists :D#//anyway fish are scary. and miss humphead is Huge so goofiness aside he's also scary hhfbvs#also why do some of those motherfunkers swim close to shore and bite at you. those guys suck so bad#that's only happened to me so many times but enough for me to have a fear that has lasted for over half a decade lmao#//and anywho i'm running out of tag space lol :)#we're going ot the park!! i'm going to skate :DD !!#i wanna get good at my old stuff again hfsh - so bye! bye !! toodles !!!
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😕
#scheduled my cat to be put down this Friday#don’t wanna make a post about it but I wanna talk about it#asked my mom to come with to drive me and do the talking. dad asked to come too#except he doesn’t do earnest emotions well and says really stupid and insensitive shit when people are emoting#and I will be sobbing through all this. I already am#on a zoom call with family so they can say goodbye to Chloe and he’s going on about how bad she is sees I’m trying not to cry and says#gee! I don’t think she’ll make it through this! hohoho!#I don’t want anyone to be there with me at all but I know I just won’t be able to talk to the vet and pay#really just a fucked up year. ducked up like 6 years running but whatever#really tired but I can’t sleep. don’t want to talk to people but isolated#I want Chloe’s suffering to be over but I don’t want to let her go.#meanwhile I have bumble person on discord talking to me and it feels like such a slog. I want to ghost. I’m just tired in them and having#to keep up this like essays long reply chain about the minutia of our lives that doesn’t change ever#but that also feels mean because they haven’t been pushy and have been really considerate even when they asked to meet again and I said to#hold off because of my cat and it’s been like two weeks#I haven’t been in instagram because I don’t want fish store person to ask me out#trying to get stuff done for friends baby but realized in all this mess I forgot to block anything. feel like such a failure at everything#making baby presents. keeping my cat alive. making connections#I just don’t want to be perceived at all. I feel like such a non entity#or rather I feel like I should be a non entity. a picture on the wall of a disused room.#I’m so tired.
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And when I thought things were finally fine and had calmed down my roommate starts sending me shelters because he wants me to get rid of my cat 🙃🙃🙃
#‘she’s peeing on my stuff 😡’#listen I get that that sucks#but also…. we had a system in place that got her stop#I get putting cat spikes on the couches was mildly annoying but guess what#she wasn’t pissing on them anymore#and tell your bf to stop leaving your bedroom door open if you don’t want her to piss on your bed#like ?????#I know he’s stopped doing these things because the bf finds them mildly inconveniencing#sorry I’m not getting rid of my cat that I’ve had for almost four years and who got rehomed TWICE before I got her#because you have to put in a tiiiiiny bit of effort#‘she pissed on my shoes 😡’#she has literally never peed on shoes before I guarantee you it’s because I left for a weekend and she’s anxious#fucking calm down#you could also just not leave your shoes by the door#he already rehomed our rats because he found them annoying which I feel bad about#I didn’t fight him much on that one because they were more his than mine so if he wanted to make that decision whatever#but hell no I’m not taking my cat to a fucking SHELTER fuck you#‘she drives me insane tho’#okay well your fucking boyfriend drives me insane and you’re not seeing me demand you take him to a fucking shelter so lol#GOD this is not what I wanna deal with when I get home#and it’s just pissing me off cuz I get it’s annoying#but we’d gotten her to stop mostly and now it’s started again because of things 🙃🙃 the fucking bf is doing 🙃🙃#so like this is your own fault and you’re expecting me to get rid of my baby because your bf can’t be assed to slightly alter#how he likes to live which is apparently being allergic to just keeping the bedroom door closed#jfc#kaz rambles
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