#and i just wanna bawl my eyes out
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why the fuck do i miss pigeons
#don't ask me i am going thru it today#ebhehbbehbhebhabh#i miss pigeons dude#oooh the poor little domesticed cuties#kate rambles from here#this is a small detail of the feeling i am feeling#like post leaving nyc is wrecking havoc on my psyche#i don't want to be in the fucking great plains#a few irls don't understand my want for city life- and i didn't know it was this bad until staying there for 4 days-#but my mom's whole family is from the city- i just feel so at home there- and everything i've inherited that way is in my blood#and i just wanna bawl my eyes out#i have been quite a bit but like ik i have a goal now- to move into the city- i've always had that goal to at least move to the city near m#but like nyc was like being somewhere i felt i wanted- it's not that i'm looking to make it big- i miss the noise the water and pigeons#around here you'll hear the occasional car go by- and crickets- i miss the city lights- i keep crying about it for so many reasons but#i just don't know how to actually express it?#because it's such an odd feeling for me to feel? because if yknow me well- i love being at home- i hate sleeping somewhere else-#taking a trip down south this last christmas- i couldn't stand the quiet- it's quieter the more south you go and i can't do this#i've always wanted to leave my small town but ?? like actually being somewhere that has felt home has been unattainable bc every#where in oh hasn't been home... and for once i felt like i could do this- and having to return here- just made me break down and cry#maybe it's the person i live with- that makes me wish to leave- but that's not the full truth- idk maybe a good nap will help#kate rambles#i have a life goal now but i wish i could do it now- i hope sooner rather than later i'll at least live in the city#i've been happily living but now i have a direction i wish to run towards- and i'm gonna chase after it#sure i miss seeing tbz i loved seeing them- but it's not even post concert depression- if that makes sense?#which it doesn't make sense- because for mx it was only pcd- but for nyc it's missing the city... and it feels awful#pls ignore this i just needed to be frustrated somewhere#ig knowing what i'm missing- i can finally work on filling that spot huh? i guess that's what i'll be doing#(also vv small point but the fact that one of the people i live with- refuses to ever visit nyc again- is so comforting to me)#pls don't send me an ask about this i just needed to ramble and i haven't caught up on my daily journal yet to do so- so this is here
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Okay... So... I was on a spree taking screenshots for Xavier's Floral Blessing memory, right?
While I was taking the screenshots I heard this VERY SPECIFIC melody and the piano in the BGM of the memory. I could feel my brain just flip a dang switch like some kinda flash back or something...! ∑( 口 ||
Thing is, music is always important to storytelling, especially medias like games and movies.
Now, I won't go too deep into an analysis because there's an amazing analysis and breakdown written by @rose-tinted-kalopsia (i might chip in my own stuff that I noticed in another post in future...)
Some bits of spoilers I guess
OKAY
SO
It's plainly obvious this new Memory of Xavier's is something that kind of comes full circle, making parallels to his previous stories in our dearly beloved traumatizing Anecdote 3 (When shooting stars fall) and his Lightseeker Myths. A lot character building and development and seeing how Xavier's grown as a character.
Not much surpise there.
BUT
listen.. again... when I hear the BGM... I WAS HECKING LOCKED IN BECAUSE THE DEVS ARE VERY MUCH AWARE AND JUST!!!! 😭
I went back through ALL the Kindled of ALL of Xavier's 5 star memories, and took a listen to the BGMs.
As very much expected, all the kindleds just use either one of Xavier's BGM that you can earn from his Affinity Level, one of the more generic BGMs that's shared, or one that is thematic to the series (like No Restraint)
FLORAL BLESSING THO
THE MOMENT I HEAR THAT ONE LINE FROM THE PIANO...
Floral Blessing is using the SAME BGM that is played when you read his Anecdote 3. SPECIFICALLY ONLY ANECDOTE 3! (okay it plays when you're in his Anecdote menu too but it changes after you select an anecdote to read)
AND GUESS WHEN ELSE THIS BGM PLAYS?!
YES, HIS LIGHTSEEKER MYTH CARD, specifically Lightseeking Shadowrend
They are drawing ALL the Parallels, no holds barred
#love and deepspace#xavier love and deepspace#churambles#xavier#shen xinghui#that BGM just gives me trauma flashbacks fr...#everytime I heard it I just wanna bawl my eyes out.... c':
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Me when a "this is me btw :3 if you even care.. ^_^" video and it's a bunch of Roy clips with a soft or sad song in the background
#Beautiful Boy <3 (Roy!!)#I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M LIKE THIS.#I jusy#it just makes me want to cry so easily it urts#NOTHING IS HAPPENING KDJFMF#AND SUDDENLY I WANNA BAWL MY EYES OUT#sighhh using my internet for very useful posts.#the rest of iy#it*
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stop i actually said WHAT out loud when i saw vetto but perhaps i just need to get to know you better
I like my men so big you could put horns on them and enter them in the state fair as a priced bull 😔✋
Add some mean energy and chest hair and I can't help myself 😭
..... honorable mentions that do not fit into this category: Leopold Vermillion
#-ˋˏ ༻luma's confessions#-ˋˏ ༻solarsynergy#🪐Lambent soulshine: Mimi🪐#Update: I just saw his past and I bawled my eyes out over what a softie he is with animals bc same#ugh. I wanna bite him so bad
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New favorite picture of Wukong
LOOK AT HOW FUCKING GORGEOUS HIS EYELASHES ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#HIS SMLIE UGGGGHHHH#I JUST WANNA SMOOCH HIS FLUFFY LITTLE CHEEKS I LOVE HIM *starts bawling my eyes out*#sun wukong lmk#lmk sun wukong#sun wukong#lmk#lego monkie kid#f/o#f/o community#mushroompeach#elliot's posts
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#+#i wanna bawl my eyes out ToT#just found out im going to be working at a different school this year#which is ultimately okay bc i know itll work out#kids warm up to me really fast + i get along with other ppl well#it's just like... im gonna miss my kids sooo much#+ my coworkers too#update three days later bc i saved this in drafts 😔:#i still want to cry about it sometimes but i have made peace with it#im really nervous but ik it will be okay + tbh it distances me from drama that played out last year#i’m really sad that i don’t get to tell my kids bye… they’re just babies (kindergarteners ) so i was excited to see how much they grew#+ ik they won’t really understand why i left. but they’re also so little they won’t remember much#it’s okay though! i poured so much love + care into them + ik they’ll remember being safe and adored#i think that’s the most important thing for little kids to experience and im glad they can carry that with them#i am nervous about being a new environment bc i’ve worked so hard to be flexible and adapt quickly to change#+ i do well with it#but honestly even though i cope well it terrifies me#ill be so glad once august is over and things have settled#but im excited too.. things will work out bc they always do ^^
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NOOOOO JUNGKOOK I'M DEVASTATED WITH THE NEWS AND NOW THIS LETTER TOOO THE TEARS JUST WON'T STOP I CAN'T IMAGINE READING WHAT THE OTHERS WILL SAY AS WELL I'M JUST ALL OVER THE PLACE NOT THE PART WITH HIS SAYING HE FEELS SELFISH ASKING US TO WAIT LIKE BROOOOOO NOOO I WILL WAIT FOREVER I HAVE TO UGHH I LOVE HIM 🖤✨
#today has been a day i just wanna curl up and bed and watch the old bangtan videos#can you imagine namjoon letter i'm gonna bawl my eyes out#you would think it would get easier but it doesn't#they're taking the maknae line 😭😩😩😩#how does one cope with this news#bangtan forever#i will still be here come 2025
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everything i draw looks WEIRDDDD
#num speaks#ive been redesigning an old oc for two days and i am SUFFERING#what are poses#what is a ref sheet#why do i SUCK#is this art block??? am i just bad??? wtf#im FALLING apart#nothing looks good except for a small portrait thats like… decent#but its not ENOUGH#bawling my eyes out#just wanna introduce my oc here </3#and its not like i dont wanna draw i just cant.#some bullshit
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i feel like the butt of a very cruel joke rn
#‧₊🌷˚⊹ ashi rambles#i’ve had the worst day#just wanna get home so i can bawl my eyes out and move on sigh
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I'm gonna say something very stupid and personal. I don't have a big support system of people. I have literally 3 people, two of them are my parents, the other is my bf. I don't easily trust people cause when they're bored of you or when things get difficult, they leave. That's why i seek my comfort in music and the people that make it. Music doesn't leave. Music is there when i need it to be, always, no exception. I feel more of a connection (for a lack of better wording) to those musicians than to most of my own family. I feel grateful for them, for their art that makes me feel like maybe, just maybe living life is not as fucked as it sometimes feels. That's why, when i discover a band/artist that can give me that feeling, i dive in head first, look up everything about them, learn all the lore, the little inside jokes between fans, the big and the small, the whole thing. That's why, when something bad happens to them, it hurts like a fucking shot to the chest, literally!! It's a devastating feeling and the loss feels allot more heavy. You were there for me and i couldn't let you know how much that meant to me. Or worse i couldn't be there for you when you clearly needed it. This is the second time i have to endure something like this and to say it fucking sucks is an understatement. All i know is that it will always keep hurting in some sort of way but eventually the gratitute takes over and they will mean even more to you than they ever have♡
#reita#the gazette#jonghyun#kim jonghyun#tagging him too!♡#i'm slowly coming to my senses but i'm also still crying non stop#tears just keep rolling over my face#or maybe it hasn't hit me fully yet#will listen to the gazette the whole day tomorrow#as an exposure therapy#watch bawl my eyes out at the office. fuck it. i wanna hear his bass in my ears#personal
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This was my Sadie girl! I didn't know I had these pictures! She was a German shepherd/black lab mix. She would have been about 2 1/2 years old here. We got her when I was 10 and she passed away 3 years ago at the age of 14. I will always love my Sadie baby
#.bdo#fuck I'm bawling my eyes out now I can remember the feeling of the fur behind her ears and i just wanna hug her#sadie the dog#memories
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i keep thinking abt across the 🕷verse and burst into tears
#spoilers in danish further into the tags cuz hey thats a good way to do this i think#just bawling my eyes out in the shower the night we watched it#tearing up at work thinking abt it#listening to the soundtrack rn while i TRY to draw and fight back tears#ive been yelling at my bestie from work to watch the first one so she can watch the sequel#i NEED to watch it again sometime soon. would be cool to watch it in cinemas again but i can settle for streaming#so i can rewind like a mad man#and i wanna rewatch the first one again eventho i did while in denmark lmao#🕷verse and the bois are what superhero media is TO ME. THEY GET IT#like det er mit problem med m@rvel når der aldrig er civile i fare like lol ok idc hele universet er i fare#jeg vil se situationer som i pavs univers da den kæmpe bygning falder og der er civile i fare#FUCK JEG GRÆDER BARE VED TANKEN FKDKFBD#FUCK ALSO INVINCIBLE THAT IS MY TRIO OF SUPERHERO MEDIA WHO GETS IT#den scene i toget med spider toby hvor de civile står i mellem deres helt og en skurk like… auuooughg jeg kan seriøst ikke engang#snakke om det uden min stemme knækker det er så pinligt gldbkfkd#kan sige så meget mere men fuck. fuck. what a perfect movie and im not exaggerating
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HEY THERE MJ!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
Hellooo!! Oke so-
MJ, you are honestly the most kind, compassionate, and supportive friend I've ever had. Your angelic personality radiates so much goodness and love.
You are hardworking and dedicated! The number of treats you handed out during trick-or-treating was simply amazing! Your generosity is truly admirable. You are also very nurturing - whenever one of your friends is sick or feeling down, you never hesitate to comfort them. You always manage to put a smile on their face with a funny comment or a little doodle to cheer them up.
You are so amazing, I can't believe how lucky I am to have a friend like you. A friend who will be with you no matter what. You inspire me so much! Seeing you draw your BlueraspberryMelon art doodles makes me want be cringe and draw my selfshipping content (can't find any cool attractive characters atm tho TnT).
"You are so cool! I always look forward to interacting with you. Seeing your name in my notifications makes me so happy. Just knowing that you, MJ, are my best friend and that you know and care about me, it makes me feel giddy and loved."
MJ, I want to express my deep gratitude to you for being my best friend, and for your unwavering support and care. You are a beacon of hope and an inspiration to me. I feel incredibly blessed to have you in my life. Your friendship is a source of strength and joy to me every day. Thank you for being the amazing person that you are. I also apologise for all the times I have ever made you feel uncomfortable., please forgive me.
I love you❤❤❤
here's a lil sumthin i made
I LOVE YOU HUNNY!!🥺🤗❤❤
(im not the best at thank you letters so sorry if it doesn't come off as genuine, im rlly trying)
Merry Christmas from your pookie Evelyn
Evelyn…I-…..hold on lemme have a moment-…
*sobs uncontrollably*
this is the most sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me…Evelyn just- thank you…you have no idea how much, you yourself make my day so much better with your kind words…
The effort and the amount care you put into them- it for real makes my heart flutter😭
I am just as lucky and blessed to have you as my best friend🥺 you have a kind beautiful heart and soul, it is a joy interacting with you! Your fun loving personality always puts me in awe and I admire that🥹 you yourself have inspired me and many others
I am not the best on how to respond to such kind words, but just know that I am really thankful for them and that I deeply cherish and care for you so much Eve💙
I love you hun and may you have a wonderful Christmas full of blessings and happiness.💖
#THANK YOU AIMT EVEN ENOUGH#WTH EVE!???#YOU GOT ME BAWLING MY DAMN EYES OUT#JESUS CHRIST-#*kithes forehead*#you are such a darling Eve💞#also thank you so much for the gift🥺#look at the comforting hug😭💖💖💖#I love it so much💜#I JUST WANNA JUMP THROUGH THE SCREEN AND HUG YOU TIGHTLY#AND YOU NEVER EVER#HAVE ONCE MADE UNCOMFORTABLE!#I can’t believe you would think that and apologize for it when you haven’t been nothing but kind to me!😤#pinching your cheek right now for thinking like that😔#I LOVE YOU!😫💕#Evelyn at it again#being one of the most sweetest peaches#and making me cry my heart out-🤧
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i am so fucking terrified i don't wanna do this i don't wanna do this i'm so scared i hate this so much
#i have to get my covid booster tomorrow and i am Losing It Folks i'm currently bawling my eyes out#i can't cancel tho i can't i need to get it done#i'm so fucking scared i'm so tired i just wanna sleep#delete later#i guess
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i just realized october is no more 4 months away and we’ll get the new tokyo revengers season next month, i’m gonna throw up i am not ready in the slightest . the most dreadful moment is yet to come 😃
#there’s one part i don’t wanna see i don’t wanna even acknowledge#i’m gonna bawl my eyes out#the most dreadful moment is TRULY yet to come#i just saw the trailer again and i’m having a moment#i need#i don’t know what it is that i need#prob 25 episodes in the new tokrev season but whatever#𓏲 𓂃 🥮 ❛ nee dump ༉‧₊.
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