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#as an exposure therapy
zombiechoir · 5 months
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I'm gonna say something very stupid and personal. I don't have a big support system of people. I have literally 3 people, two of them are my parents, the other is my bf. I don't easily trust people cause when they're bored of you or when things get difficult, they leave. That's why i seek my comfort in music and the people that make it. Music doesn't leave. Music is there when i need it to be, always, no exception. I feel more of a connection (for a lack of better wording) to those musicians than to most of my own family. I feel grateful for them, for their art that makes me feel like maybe, just maybe living life is not as fucked as it sometimes feels. That's why, when i discover a band/artist that can give me that feeling, i dive in head first, look up everything about them, learn all the lore, the little inside jokes between fans, the big and the small, the whole thing. That's why, when something bad happens to them, it hurts like a fucking shot to the chest, literally!! It's a devastating feeling and the loss feels allot more heavy. You were there for me and i couldn't let you know how much that meant to me. Or worse i couldn't be there for you when you clearly needed it. This is the second time i have to endure something like this and to say it fucking sucks is an understatement. All i know is that it will always keep hurting in some sort of way but eventually the gratitute takes over and they will mean even more to you than they ever have♡
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hinamie · 5 months
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i'm on an itafushi kick and i am making it everyone else's problem
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forestofsprites · 2 months
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tail end of season seven you will always be famous
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wolfythewitch · 1 month
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I very rarely hate characters but I dislike characters that remind me of me haha
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copia · 4 months
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PAPA EMERITUS IV WILL BE HAUNTING CINEMAS IN TWO WEEKS
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winchester101 · 11 months
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Thats just Sanji’s love language
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forecast0ctopus · 5 months
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Thinking of Bones complaining to Jim that he thinks he's not rested enough to be running the ship at the moment and he's gonna get them killed or something and Jim just goes "Ugh if you're so worried why don't you sleep with me" and just. Does not think about how that sounds until he says it out loud
man still hasn’t realized what he’s said
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ciearcab · 1 year
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saw the bookclub’s reached vol 10 so i’m joining in on the sorrows :,)
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talesfromthecrypts · 2 years
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Skinamarink (2022) dir. Kyle Edward Ball
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im-fucking-baalin · 11 days
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woagh look at that
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+ the base sketch!
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cecelovesrats · 7 months
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world's saddest little burrito who doesn't like taking his meds
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dykesynthezoid · 21 days
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Eric is very sweet hyping Assad up like that but also knowing Assad it might make him contort so hard in flustered embarrassment that his shoulders dislocate
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hinamie · 1 month
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august
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interpolationz · 5 months
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i think it's actually impossible to be satisfied the first time you draw new characters
more art under cut
bam no background
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bam original composition i abandon just to avoid shoes
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slut4thebroken · 1 year
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Exposure Therapy Masterlist
Pairing | Jonathan Crane × reader
Summary | Your therapist tries a new method of treatment to help you overcome your fears.
Warnings | 18+, sexual content, smut, rape, non con, dub con, oral, p in v sex, fingering, fear play, crying, rape (again. I'm really emphasizing this lol), breeding, unprotected sex, involuntary admission to asylum, scarecrow’s fear toxin, I’ll add more on each chapter.
Words | So far 49.1k
Notes | This is rape. Just straight up. If you’re not going to like it, don’t read it. Final warning.
Ao3 link | <3
Main masterlist
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Prologue
Pt. 1
Pt. 2
Pt. 3
Pt. 4
Pt. 5
Pt. 6
Pt. 7
Pt. 8
Pt. 9
Pt. 10
Pt. 11
Pt. 12
Pt. 13
Pt. 14
Pt. 15
?
Epilogue
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sweetsuo · 3 months
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as per usual, I wrote WAY MORE than was necessary cries. Sakura may be a bit ooc but i was trying to be consistent with the concept of him getting used to affection over time ;v; also color coded speech bc i wanted to try it out
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𝐄𝐱𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐲
Suo Hayato x Sakura Haruka x Fem!Reader
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆! For the love of all that is mighty do not take this as actual psychological advice or a viable treatment for you! More of this disclaimer and information is after the fic.
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cw. exposure therapy. systematic desensitization. cucking. fingering. edging. masturbation. use of 'she/her'. praise. pussy smacking. friendly competition. hair pulling. Genre & Syn. [ SMUT! ] Your boyfriend Sakura has always been shy and easily embaressed. You help the best you can until you're at the very last rungs of the desensitization ladder. Your bashful boyfriend offers that Suo help with the last demonstrations. wc. 7.2k thank you to zevie, dahlie, and adele who all beta'd this bitch for me!!!
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Sakura’s sense of responsibility was always something you admired. He’d always been a natural leader, whether he wanted to admit it or not. He’d come a long way in Furin since he first arrived as a teen, and now even lead municipal patrol programs on his own while Umemiya handled teaching the next generation at the reform school. You had a crush on him ever since you met him as a server at Kotoha’s cafe. So after a long road to romance, you both finally got together once you were in your twenties. There was just one problem with your devoted boyfriend. 
Sakura always had such a volatile reaction to intimacy. Holding your hand and giving compliments were few and far between simply because he’d blow up red whenever he even attempted to. You thought it was charming, but it is impossible not to have some sort of strain on the relationship in a circumstance like this. You want cuddles! Affection! You know Sakura has the potential to give it and that he desperately does. He just needs a little help. So you research exposure therapy and come across something called ‘systematic desensitization’. Your boyfriend agreed to this without a second thought. He’d do anything for you and he knew he had to grow past his aversion to affection. 
After work, you talk with Sakura about intimacy and ask him if he’d be comfortable trying this out. You just wanted to try it out casually as Sakura was never afraid of intimacy, just uncomfortable by it. So first you both practice meditation and breathing techniques to calm down his heart and head. 
Then you compile a list of exposures. Thinking about intimacy, watching intimacy, engaging in intimacy. You ask about different types of intimacy to see which ones he is most comfortable with to least comfortable with. You set a strict rule with him that you both are to not engage in intimate acts until everything was done and good with. It’s hard to keep. You don’t compliment one another nor do you touch. Luckily, holding hands and minor touches like on the back or arm he is perfectly fine with at this point so that was alright to engage with. It was a trial in your will power!
After about two months, you got through most of the list without a hitch step by step. Anytime Sakura was uncomfortable, he’d breathe deeply and slowly and try to focus on sounds around him as opposed to his internal dialogue. Pride overwhelmed you when he could engage in those acts with you without panicking! It also was a cute little game to see at what points he started to breathe slow to calm down. It added to his charms. 
It wasn’t until you got to things like kissing that you hit a bump in the road. You separated witnessing acts versus engaging in them versus seeing them through a screen. PDA like kissing is not super common out in public unlike holding hands, complimenting someone, or just being appreciative of someone. That’s when Sakura offered something unusual. 
In a mutter, the calico asked, “Why not ask Suo?” He shifted on your couch, arm draped over your shoulder and leg crossed. 
“Huh?”
“Don’t make me say it twice! Just. Text’im or somethin’...” His cheeks were red and you could tell he was focusing on his breathing by the rise and fall of his chest. The thought of you kissing his friend riled him up in a way he didn’t expect. He wasn’t anxious or uncomfortable by it. It was late so you weren’t even sure if Suo would be up. Then again, the martial artist did seem to have an odd sleep schedule. 
“Think he’s still at work?” You asked aloud, not really expecting an answer. It was about 11:00 at night now as you sent the first message.
“Nah. Pretty sure he gets done at 8.” Sakura tilted his head back, emptying his mind and counting the sounds in your apartment. His chest fizzed and bubbled. It wasn’t uncomfortable. It felt different from when he’d see PDA in the past. He retracted inside his mind, searching for where he recognized this pop-rock sensation. He already could tell he’d felt it before as you both moved through the ladders of exposure. Usually by the time he’d grown accustomed to something, he thought about you in that very act. That’s typically when the hot pink crackling began. 
That’s when it hit him. 
Porn.
Because romance movies had such an onslaught of different displays of affection, you had to go through multiple rungs at the same time. Once you could watch some cheesy chick flicks together, you had offered to watch porn. It wasn’t awkward because it was you. And of course, the first few times Sakura had to stop to take a walk. The lewd moans from your laptop being a bit too much for him to handle at first. Eventually he could sit through an entire clip with self-soothing techniques. He’d realized then that he’d be doing this with you. To you. The thought of touching your bare skin was tantalizing. And his chest bubbled all in the same way when he thought about you kissing Suo. 
Sakura let out a slow breath. 
“Oh! He responded!” You jolt, curling over your screen. Sakura peered over you, attempting to read upside down. The light of your phone illuminated your pretty cheeks in the dark of the living room. Even with the TV flickering colors, Sakura could see the tinge of pink. 
“What’d he say?” 
“Well, I gave him my address and he said he’d be right over...” Your voice trembled and your lips rolled together. 
The calico leaned forward, pressing his forehead to yours. His cheeks flushed at the act, but he’d grown somewhat accustomed to physical touch enough for him not to freak. “You don’t have to... ya know –“ He cleared his throat, “do any of that if you don’t want. Jus’ figured it’d be easier.” His voice is low and soft despite that obvious falter at the mention of an act. Sakura had always been such a sweet boyfriend. He cared more about you than he could even say. He wouldn’t have ever agreed to your little experimental scheme if he didn’t want to do better for you in the first place! So if anything made you uncomfortable, he’d be sure to fix it. Even if that meant sucker punching Suo. 
“No, no. Ah. I don’t know how to explain this,” You chuckled awkwardly, “But w-would it be bad to say it’s a turn on?” 
“A what?” 
Oh he was dumbfounded. Gob-smacked, even. 
You dropped your phone in your lap and pressed pretty digits against your warm cheeks, “You know in that one porn we saw with the girl who had the-“
“The flower on her h-hip?” Sakura completed your sentence, hand now coming up to his neck. 
“YEAH! How’d you know?!” You leaned into him, “I can’t believe you paid attention to that! I mean I can because you’re trying so hard!”
He flushed, searching for words amidst your excitement only to stutter, “I-it was hot.” 
The porn in question was a woman cucking her partner with another guy. It was a random video you clicked on at the time, but you were sucked in. It was hard to ignore the growing sensation between your legs when you watched. You were so enamored that you completely missed the hard-on your boyfriend sported while watching. Or that he masturbated to the sounds of your moans while you showered shortly after. 
“Do you think Suo would-“ You trailed off, considering the comfort of your boyfriend and his progress with sensitization. 
“He would,” Sakura muttered again, “Don’ worry ‘bout it.” He averted his eyes, sucked in air, then let it out in a stream, “We can ask. I’m good with it.” His romance detector might be over-reactive, but it almost was never wrong. He knew Suo had a thing for you from the way Suo teased you. Once in a while you’d take one of Suo’s MMA classes and he’d tease you about your form. Or sometimes the three of you would take Jou’s judo class. It was hard to miss the way Suo looked at you when you were pinned under him. It never quite irritated Sakura because he knew you were his and he’s known Suo was a good guy since high school. Plus, he actually didn’t mind watching someone more skilled than himself handling you in ways he didn’t know how to yet. Since then, Sakura knew he could spar a little more roughly with you. 
There was a knock at the door. You hopped up and down the hall to greet your guest. 
Sakura shifted his posture to sit upright, head tilted down, and hands folded at his lap. He breathed in and out. In. and out. He wasn’t nervous, surprisingly. He was excited. His body twitched at the chit-chat approached the hall. He didn’t think about the words, just took note of the sounds around him. Calm. Nothin’ to be nervous about. When weight shifted on the couch, he opened his eyes to Suo politely sat a cushion away. 
“You called a good teacher, Sakura.” Suo grinned, “Education is the best way to grow beyond nervousness~. We’re kissing, correct?”
You and Sakura sported matching blushes. You part your lips to answer. Sakura beats you to the punch, “The whole th-thing. If you want.” His brows are furrowed and his eyes shone with conviction you hadn’t quite seen yet.
Suo’s lips formed an ‘0’ before they settled into a wide grin, “You want to be cucked? That’s surprising!” There was no judgement in the words, simply a question. A teasing question, but still just a question. 
“Jus’ show me what to do,” Sakura whipped his head to the side in an attempt to hide the raging red raising to his ears. He pouted. Can’t deny something that’s true, though. Can’t deny the way his body reacted, either, with his jeans growing ever so slightly tighter. 
Meanwhile, you glanced between the two, sucking at your bottom lip nervously. You stood between them, fiddling the hem of Sakura’s T-shirt. It was big on you. Big enough to reach mid-thigh. It was thin as well. The fabric loosely folding at the pique of your nipples. Everything felt bare and real. Their exchange, this situation, it all was tangible now. Your own inexperience and insecurities had been helped as a byproduct of helping Sakura. You mimicked his steady, meditative techniques. 
“Are you comfortable with this, dear?” Suo’s gentle words drew you back to reality, “You seem like the nervous one, now.” He laughed musically. It broke the tension. 
Sakura’s hand covered yours, brows curving in concern, “If I kick his ass would that make you feel better?” 
You snort, holding back your own laughter. He was so sincere! “I’m okay. Just nervous. I uh... don’t have much experience myself. Missionary basically.”
“Oh my! I hope the foreplay was good,” Suo exclaimed. As soon as you grimaced, he understood, “Ah. None?” You shook your head. The auburn tutor let out a shoulder-slumped sigh, “Men can be so disappointing.” He gestured for you to step in front of him, your legs standing beside either of his. He leaned forward so that his hands could graze the sides of your thighs. Their touch gentle yet electric as they caressed up and then down. In one feel movement, he hooked his hands behind your knees and pulled you to a straddle onto his lap. Heat circled the shell of your ear as Suo whispered to you, “I’ll teach him right.” The corners of his lips curled mischievously, loving the way your pretty lashes widened. 
“We’ll start with the kiss.” Suo peered to Sakura, reading his reactions and posture for any objections. Sakura’s chest rose and fell in semi-controlled, audible heaves. His hands pressed onto his thighs, denim imprinting against Sakura’s palms. Pupils were dilated. Perfect. Suo now shifted his gaze to you. You, who had caught his attention from the very beginning. 
You had been friends with them since high school and left with sorrowful goodbyes for university. When you came back more beautiful than when you had left, Suo sorely regretted letting Sakura shoot his shot first. He was happy for his friend. You were a catch! And quite frankly, you were suited for one another. No other person would be as patient as you with Sakura’s intimacy issues. Sakura loved you for it, too. Everyone saw it and knew it. However. Every time you came to Suo, tears in your eyes over the lack of physical touch and words of love, he saw red. 
Suo thumbed over your lower lip, sticky with gloss. He brought it to his own lips, licking up the flavor. Mint. Divine favor of the God’s, was it? Surely, he was blessed with this opportunity tonight. He hummed contently upon the realization that you’d been staring. Just to give you a show, he licked his lips. When your thighs reflexively squeezed his, he chuckled. 
“Hand placement is important. You have to be observant of their reactions,” Suo’s hands first rested on your thighs. As they worked up, you felt an anticipatory roll in your stomach. They reached the crease of your hip, giving a gentle squeeze at the plush roll of flesh. The muscle of your thighs flex, resisting a grind at his touch. Hoping he wouldn’t notice was wishful thinking. He picked it up immediately. “Did you see that?” The tutor’s gaze didn’t leave your body and neither did your boyfriend’s, “That’s a good sign. Try it. Just like this –“ Suo gestured for Sakura to come closer, which he obliged. He took Sakura’s hand and placed it at the same spot. His thumb pressed into the crease of your thigh and hip while his digits squeezed the fat of your side. Your practically purred. Suo’s hand at your right and Sakura’s at your left. Both feeling the way your muscle restricted your naturally desired movement. 
“Oh.” Sakura exhaled, practically breathless from this interaction alone. Suo narrowed his eyes, amused at both of the reactions he elicited. 
“Then put your hand here –“ Suo guided Sakura’s hand to the back of your head, “Keep it there. A hand here is intimate if you enjoy eye contact.” He takes the hand guiding Sakura’s away and takes your chin between his thumb and index. His grip is strong, but not forceful as he tugs your head down. A suggestion to meet his gaze. When you do, you’re locked in. His eyes are warm and darkened honey, catching you like a fly in the half-lidded gaze. 
Sakura was enraptured. Suo didn’t even need to ask this time. Sakura saw it all. The shift in your posture and reaction of your body to their touches burned into his memory. You were a perfected movie reel played in slow motion across his mind. Heat singed his cheeks, digits, and most importantly, his lower abdomen. Maybe it was Suo’s subtle antagonism – how he’d slip a challenging glance to Sakura, that washed away some of Sakura’s bashfulness. He’d always be able to show face for a fight.  A gear had clicked into place. This was like a fight. A style to communicate and Suo was fluent. 
“Now you kiss.” Suo pulled you into him by the jaw, opposite hand gripping your hip. Your lips met, exchanging heat and gloss. Sakura weaved his fingers into the hairs at the nape of your neck. Reflexively, his fingers curled into a secure tug against Suo’s pull. You mewl, mouth opening as your head tilts back with the pull. Your whole body quivers. 
“Shit! S-sorry. Sorry. I didn’t mean to pull.“ The calico panicked, grip loosening. 
Suo moved his hand to lay on top of Sakura’s. To reinforce good form, the tutor curled the student’s fingers firm at the scalp, “She liked it. Didn’t you see?” And then he pulled.
You mouth opens in a moan. Always the opportunist, the fox juts in to slip his tongue past those pretty open lips.  He makes a point to invite the sleek muscle in your mouth to dance in the open. Hand at your chin now along your whole jaw, opening it for Sakura’s view. Saliva dribbles from the writhing dance onto the loaned shirt. Sakura’s glued to the slippery strand dribbling down and the way your lip-gloss glistened, smudged between your lips and Suo’s. Words dangle in his mind about your reactions. He gives a shy, tug to your hair now. It’s gentle, light, practically a tickle compared to the accidental first. 
You break contact with Suo with a giggle, “You can tug harder, I won’t break.” 
“Aren’t you brave~” Suo coos. His hand snaked up to your hair next to Sakura’s and with a firm tug, you’re a whimpering mess with your neck exposed.
Sakura’s heart lurched into his throat. For only a moment, fight or flight had kicked in. He released your hair from his grasp so that he could do a full scan. Suo wouldn’t do anything to legitimately hurt you. Rationally he knew that, but this was all so new. It wasn’t until he saw your hips sway with mindless need that it registered to him. You liked this. Sakura decided that he’d sit back and learn as a natural progression. 
Suo noticed the shift. It was hard not to considering that Sakura leaned back onto the arm of the couch, eyes fully on you. The teacher was now a performer on a stage and you were his lovely assistant. 
Hand in your hair tugs your head to the side, further exposing the smooth skin at your neck. He leans up so that your hands grip the fabric at his shoulders shakily. The wet tip of his tongue traces the lines at your throat. The position, the tilt of your head, everything was for Sakura’s perfect viewing. The calico could see every line of saliva made, illuminated by the flickering of the television. Your whimpers and whines, the way your body rolled against Suo’s every touch only reinforcing the act more. 
Maybe it was shameless of Sakura. Maybe your desensitization had worked some kind of wonder. Either way, Sakura was fully enraptured by the movement of your body. Any prior urge to look away or feel shy or ashamed had been washed away by the angelic sounds you made. Having a front row seat to your pleasure, seeing every reaction you made only made Sakura crave to see more. The bubbling fizz at the pit of his stomach flourished and without really thinking about it, Sakura began to unbuckle his belt. 
From the corner of your lust-lidded lashes, you peered hungrily at Sakura’s shivering fingers. Walls cinched on nothing but the thought of his arousal. You squirmed on the lap your straddled, uncaring of your previous attempts to look strong and controlled. 
“Is someone excited?” Suo teased as he followed your line of sight. Words rumbled off the curve of your jaw, eliciting another pitiful plea for satisfaction. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t dripping himself. You were so desperate to move forward, and Sakura was so desperate to watch. Their teacher and performer was more than willing to oblige. 
“Let’s take this shirt off, dear.” 
“Mhm,” You agree shyly. You take the hem of the shirt and begin to tug, but as you do, Suo’s hands grip your waist. He raised his hips and pulled you into a grind along the hardened shaft of his cock, hidden under trousers. You suck in air and flex your core to steady yourself as your legs and walls tremble. The act overrode your prior command, arms loosely resting on your head as the fabric of Sakura’s shirt hangs from your fingers. 
“Oh? I don’t think I said stop taking the shirt off. Did I Sakura?” Suo’s kind, cruel smile faces your boyfriend, allowing his input. He was helping, directing Sakura to play an active role in your satisfaction if he was just going to sit back and watch. 
Sakura all the while had his belt slipped off, jeans had been discarded onto the coffee table. The dampened circle of pre saturating the cotton front of his boxer briefs did nothing to hide the imprint of the thick shaft twitching against fabric. Suo didn’t show a reaction to it, but Sakura was well endowed to say the least. Your boyfriend groans, impatient for the next act to happen, impatient to learn how to better communicate with your body. “Don’ think so.” He responded simply, the gruff and awkward response has your shivering. 
You hurried now to yank the shirt off and toss it aside. Where it landed didn’t matter. Your arms cross over your chest as a sudden flurry of embarrassment overwhelms you. 
“T-take a deep breath, babe.” Sakura’s voice is now louder than the trash TV host in the background. You meet eyes, his desire to see you pleased overwriting his own carnal urges. The calico near choked on his spit when you shine a radiant smile to him in pride. You can’t help but feel proud now that he wished to coax you out of your own comfort. He leads and you imitate the pace of his deep breathing. Suo all the while takes your forearms, softly pulling them away from the bosom he so desired. 
Suo’s hands fall back to your waist. His mouth explores the curve of your breast as they rise and fall with each cycle. He’d work within the calming routine that you and Sakura had developed, moving his teeth and tongue slow to your pace. The nips of his front teeth causing your tempered exhales to turn to shudders. He guides you to a rhythmic grind. Each movement churning your shudders into pitchy pants. 
Sakura, who had been taking mental notes of each action that cause your reactions, now perked at the writhing of bodies. Inadvertently, he had synced his breathing to yours and in effect, vicariously poised himself in Suo’s spot. His own hips rocked with the air subtly and subconsciously. You were so gorgeous as you leaned back on display. Sakura practically could feel the twitch of your fingers on his knees as they did on Suo’s, desperate for steady contact. Sakura’s own tongue twitched as Suo’s circled your perfectly perked nipple. He wondered how much self-control Suo had to not just undress and fuck you like that. 
“Fuck. You’re so hot, baby.” Sakura’s hand reached for the hem of his boxers. 
Suo clicked his tongue in the way one does to scold a dog, “Sakura, I thought I was the teacher here? Shouldn’t you be paying attention to her?” He halted all movement, barely breathless while you heaved and greedily ground on him for more, “Pause, my dear.” You were broken from your own world, pouting at the man who commanded you to stop. Not that the command registered as serious. Defiantly, you tried to wriggle, but the clasp around your waist prevented further movement. “You both are needy little things, hm?” Suo smiled so very sweetly to you, “I said pause. Now be a good girl and try to stay quiet while I teach, alright?” 
The slick between your thighs drooled at the saccharine command. It had subtle authority behind it, numbing your mind to be pliable to his will. You hummed with a nod in response. He made note to reward your good behavior later. Reinforcement was important, after all. 
Suo’s smile now curled into something Cheshire, “Let’s move onto the next lesson.” He shifted, practically lifting you by your waist to a stand in front. Sakura listened, but his eyes traced the trail of wet lines down your thighs. His fingers gripped at the cushion – his own tempered restraint.
“Sakura,” He began, fingers working to remove his slacks, “Before you please yourself, you should be more imaginative with your lover.” Once the slacks were off, he began to unbutton his shirt. “Women more easily orgasm multiple times,” The shirt fell to the crease of the cushions, “so her cumming on your fingers first,” Suo cupped the silk-covered lips between your thighs, the pad of his middle finger pressing onto your throbbing hole. His cock jerked in response, yet he ignored it – leading by example. “Or cumming on your tongue first-” Suo licked a stripe from the line of your panties to your naval, “won’t deter her from cumming on your cock.” From below, his caramel gaze softened on you before another friendly challenge was poised to his student, “I can’t imagine a virgin like yourself lasting too long, so do what you can for her first before you’re spent. Otherwise, it might be someone else satisfying her desires.”
With subtle circles of his middle finger, he massaged you, testing how quiet you could be. Just because he gave a command didn’t mean he’d try for your disobedience. It was natural for him to play with his food before he ate it and you were a luxury dish he’d been waiting years to be seated at. His starved gaze feasted on your frame. Sakura had such a lovely, obedient girl. He wished you could be his to nibble on day in and day out. Jealousy wasn’t exactly the word for what Suo felt. He was happy for Sakura. But maybe... Sakura would let him dine on you while he learned which fork to use for what. Learning curves could take some time and it would be such a shame for you to run cold. 
“Then stop yappin’ and show me,” Sakura practically growled the words. He was willing to learn. He wanted to learn. He’d put all the work in to get to this point and he desperately wanted to see it through – see you through. Suo’s jabs felt no different from a spar. It was exciting to see who would please you best. Obviously Suo had the upper hand now, but later? In a month? Two months? He’d treat you so good that you wouldn’t be able to see straight.
Suo laughed like chimes at his friend’s fervor, “Let’s all get more comfortable, then. Take the boxers off.” While Sakura followed instruction, Suo hooked the crotch of your panties to pull them down. The knuckle of his index purposefully nuzzled across your clit as he did so. Your knees wobbled and your restrained voice broke free, but you stayed steady standing. Suo then took his own boxers off. 
Your shadow obscured his length from your vision, while Sakura’s laid bare in the light of the white static snow. Your tongue slides across your lips at the precum dribbles down the underbelly. He was a lot girthier than you initially thought he'd be, but you were certain you could lick him up and down all the same. Regardless of your fixation, your tutor had other plans. 
Suo shifted on the couch to sit upright. His back rested against the left arm and his right leg bent and propped against the back of it. He faced Sakura and Sakura shifted to mirror his posture on the opposite end. Suo tugged on your writs, “Put your back to my chest, dear.” And so you did. With his guiding hands along the outer sides of your hips, Suo positioned you how he pleased. Your head rested along his pecks, his steady heart beat loud and thumping. The mystery of his size resolved as his cock imprinted into the crease of your glutes, tip leaking pre at the base of your spine. His body was hot against yours. Against your back you could feel how tense his core was. He was restraining himself from moving while making it look natural. Your pussy throbbed at the idea of it – how he wanted to fuck you so bad but wouldn’t just yet. He was a gentleman. 
Drunk on the concept alone, you sway your hips against him, lascivious gaze watching for when he might break. In one short moment, Suo had your limbs restricted. Your right leg, which had been resting against his at the back of the couch, was now held up by the underside of your knee and against your chest. Your left leg was constricted by his and dangled over the edge of the couch. Suo’s left hand cupped, then smacked firmly onto your cunt. The sound sticky and loud over the TV static. He pressed his fingers onto you to sooth the sting. You cried out in both pleasure and pain only to be shushed. 
“You weren’t quiet the whole way through when standing~. Punishing disobedience is also the job of a teacher,” Suo’s voice bounced in delight at your pouting lip, “Did you think I forgot?” You shook your head. “Good girl. Now, be a good doll for a moment while Sakura explores” You nod, eyes wide on Sakura. 
Your breathing mimicked his naturally. The gentle ‘shhhh’ as he breathed out between his teeth. He relaxed his jaw as to not clench it. His shoulders wound back to release the tension there, too. Your smile inviting him over. You kept your hands to yourself, but pat the inside of your thighs to signal for him to come to you. Sakura in that moment thought of you more like seafoam. He feared that if he touched you the wrong way, you’d fizzle out beneath his grasp. Never-the-less, he knelt before you, taking up the cushion space between Suo and your legs. 
Suo nodded approvingly. The hand cupped over your sex moved up. He gave an overview of the parts on the off chance Sakura’s sex education had been lack luster, fingers grazing at each as he spoke. Your rested the back of your head onto his chest and closed your eyes. His voice so close to your ear and delicate touches along the labia majora and minora relaxing you. 
“I implore you to touch for yourself,” Suo chirped, hand now moving to trace shapes on your stomach. 
“S-sure,” Sakura stammered. He pet the trimmed pubic hair, tracing the shape of your labia gently and carefully. The slick that stuck to the curled hairs had him swallowing saliva hard. The veins of his cock pulsed, drawing out precum to drool onto your folds. “You’re so damn p-perfect.” You opened your eyes to look up to wonder-filled irises. He looked as if he’d found the garden of Eden. If you hadn’t been told to be quite, you’d thank him, but seeing you like this was thanks enough to your loving boyfriend. 
“Past this,” Suo interrupted, “is the clit.” His index and ring finger separated your lips, reveal the apple beneath. In anticipation, it pulsed and you bucked. Both men huffed a single laugh in response. Suo in satisfaction and Sakura in admiration. Suo’s middle finger pulled at the hood to reveal the plump nerve. “You have to be gentle with it at first. Too much stimulation and she might not enjoy it. Some people do, though.” He rose his fingers to your mouth and watched as you welcomed them into your maw. Tongue lapped at the digits, hungrily accepting whatever it could. “Oh? Someone has a fixation~ How cute!” Suo teased, swirling his index around your tongue. 
“Mmm,” You respond, eyes trailing the saliva strand that connected you both as his fingers left your lips. At your back was a thick, heavy throb. You wondered how he kept such composure at times like this. He always had a level head. Meanwhile you were swimming in sweet arousal. 
Suo took newly sodden digits to your clit, the tip of his index finger tracing circles around the bud but not yet on it. Your back arcs and a loud whine reverberates in your throat. 
Sakura swallows, bristling at the sounds you made. His hand hovers above you, uncertain about what to do next. Suo chuckles deeply, jostling you against his chest. The fox spreads you open, index and middle finger running down and around your entrance before coming back together to tease over the sensitive maw and bud. You crane into the touch, pitiful in your attempts to get them in. Your walls shiver with every rotation. He’s such a cruel tease! Suo is slow, deliberate, repeating the same motion. Your whines grow in volume and pitch until you’re practically on the verge of tears. 
Your boyfriend tilts his head, mind switching gears. A hand cups your cheek and his focused eyes hone right onto yours, “Breathe, baby. Everythin’s okay. Ya look so fuckin’ perfect  right now, too.” His voice is low, husky, mixed with both sympathy and hot honied lust. His praise urged you on. You gifted him your loveliest smile in return. 
“Check if she’s ready, Sakura~.” Suo instructs, “Gently work a finger in and tell me what you feel.“ His lips rest at the shell of your ear and then he presses a kiss to your temple, muttering just for you to hear, “You’re doing so well, my dear. If he says you’re ready, do you want me to fuck you?” The question was innocuous. You shiver, mind melting away to an unfamiliar space. Dazed, you peer up to him then to Sakura. You nodded, teeth gnawing at your lower lip. Suo stops his caresses, the pads of his fingers resting and pressing into your clit. There was no rub or stroke. It was curious, but the purpose was soon discovered.
Sakura mimicked his teacher, pressing two fingers past your lips. He held his breath, hips swaying to rut into air as your tongue and lips worked his digits. His composure was shot, face aflame and muscles trembling. 
Suo cleared his throat, garnering Sakura’s attention and snapping him back to reality. Right. Attention on you. Another deep breath. His fingers retreat from one maw to the other. He paws at you so delicately at first, uncertain but determined to draw out the same moans as his teacher. At first his pam is down. It’s uncomfortable at first and you scrunch your nose. 
“Palm up,” Suo corrects quickly, noticing your expression, “About two knuckles in and you’ll feel it.” 
When you look up to him, his half-patched gaze is glued to your pussy. His cock pulsates against your ass, body still as tense as it was before. If he even let loose a bit, he’d lose it all. He’s resisting so much. 
Sakura’s obedient shift in position has you gasping. He’s pawing into you and against you gummy wall. Sakura didn’t question what he should be feeling. He felt it as soon as he worked his way into you, just as teacher taught, “Sh-she’s-“ he swallows hard, “drippin’.” 
You press your back into Suo, desperately trying to work your hips to ride Sakura’s calloused hand. Years of hard community work, fighting, and building paying off in the form of  the textured drawl of his digit. 
“Tsk, tsk, not yet.” Suo grips at your waist, his legs pressing against yours to keep you still in their spread. Sakura had stopped his strokes, thick finger left motionless inside you. You whine and pout and throw your head to the side. A laugh came from behind you, “You can keep going, Sakura. She’s being good now. If she tries to fuck your hand again, just stop until she’s still.”
You huff, frustrated. 
Both men shared a look, silently in agreeance to continue. The calico learns through your reactions what strokes work you best. Actually, the reactions of your pussy herself rattles him to the core. She quivers and quakes when he strokes you right, gently prodding the sponge-like tissue inside. You cry out, every fiber of your being trying to keep your body steady. 
If you faltered, Suo held you firm. Suo moved one hand back to press at your clit. It wasn’t overwhelming. It was a pressure to work with Sakura’s quickening pace. Each stroke against your inner wall striking like a lighter while the press against your nerve sparked with kerosine.  You’re moans grew into loud cries. Without the ability to work against Sakura yourself, all of your energy went to your lungs. The neighbors would be bitching in the morning, for sure. 
The violent pull of your muscles was more than you could control as you sprinted toward the edge of the cliff, ready to dive for sweet release. You held your breath, body still writhing as your lower back arched with all its might. Just as you were about to jump – Suo ripped Sakura’s wrist away.
“F-fuck! Why?! No, no, no, no, put it back please! Please? More?” You crane your neck to plead with him, gasps and trembling body pointed to the wrong-doer. 
“What’s the fun in that?” Suo teased with a triumphant grin, “I said it’s easier for women to have multiple orgasms. That doesn’t mean there aren’t alternatives.” 
You pout petulantly, “Please Suo? Sakura? I-I-” 
Just as tears squeezed from the corners of your eyes, Suo lifted you by your thighs. “Since you asked so sweetly,” He angled your trembling frame until you were poised against the absolutely soaked head of his cock, “You wanted me to fuck you, did you not?” His chest began to rise and fall in quickening pace. Your pleaded left him like crackling class, “What if I wanted to feel you cum around me, darling? I’ve been so patient.” He kissed away the tears and turned his attention to Sakura, “Watch and learn, dear student.”
Sakura leaned back, eyes wide at all that transpired. His throat was dry. Yeah. Yeah. He wanted that. It hit him hard, but in that very moment, Sakura realized that he’d never be able to get you to beg and pant and cry like that by himself the first go around. His shy ass would have done everything you wanted and more. He would have gotten you there. He wasgetting you there. But shit, did you look so stunning when you begged. He covered his mouth with his free hand. He leaned into the opposite arm, giving his close friend enough room to fuck his girlfriend how you deserved. 
“Match my pace, Sakura.” Suo’s challenge rang clear and concise, “Perhaps if you last longer than me, I’ll let you have her next.” 
Sakura perked. He spat into his hand, saliva mixing with your slick. Challenge on.  “Pretty sure my stamina’s better than yours, Suo.” 
You gripped Suo’s forearms, the back of your head craned so your lips met Suo’s exposed throat. You needed something, anything, to occupy your mouth as he lowered you onto him. He was long. Much longer than you estimated. His tip split you and your mind drained of any and all thought. He filled you up comfortably, your pussy and his size forming to each other. It was then you realized Suo was losing composure. 
He began to sigh heavy, prettily. He was gaging how far into you he was by the way Sakura fucked his own fist. You’re heavy lidded gaze latched onto your boyfriend, piecing it all together. He started from his tip and slowly slid his hand down, matching it to how deep Suo sank into your greedy cunt. 
Suo began to rock his hips into yours.  At first it was slow. Every time he nearly pulled out only to thrust back into you with such force, you thought he was in your throat. The slapping stick of your sobbing hole against him matched with the smack of Sakura fucking himself. 
The intensity of his duochrome hues burning at your very core. Being able to see him, him able to see you – it was a blessing gifted from whatever deity gifted you all this moment. He was imagining being in Suo’s spot, fucking into you, holding you hostage at the edge. 
The fox bit into your shoulder, no longer caring of Sakura’s matching speed. His thighs beat into yours, cock searing its very shape into you. It reduced you to shuddering, shivering smithereens. A sheen of sweat licked at all your bodies. Your stomach rolled with increasing tension, a string held taught at each end. You held on for as long as you could, really you did. For every heavy thrust up, you bucked. Suo’s head struck at just the right spot. Again. And again. And again. 
It built from your core to your throat to your head, burning you up until you couldn’t see straight through the smoke. Your toes curled and your nails bit into Suo’s arm. He hissed at first only to breathlessly laugh. The sound grounded you. 
Suo bit into your shoulder, eyes now hard on Sakura. He hadn’t cum yet. Impressive. Even more impressive that you hadn’t yet despite your begging for that delectable finish. He was devouring you whole, memorizing your every sound. He’ll dream about the way your pussy felt cinching around him until his death. Suo was a greedy man at heart, despite how much he cared for you both. He wanted you to beg for his approval - to call his name more. He wanted you to remember him through it all. 
Sakura’s thick cock rolled through his fingers. His abs tensed as he withheld his own finish. Like hell he’d lose when you were on the line. You tear-stained lashes, your breasts jostling with each thrust, and not to fucking mention that he could see the curve of Suo’s cock massaging at your belly – it made Sakura wish he had a camera. Porn was nothing compared to this. Seeing you get your guts rocked burned into Sakura’s psyche. 
“F-fuck Suo, you gonna let her cum or what?!” Sakura growled. Their eyes locked and like two apex predators lapping at the same spring, they struck a bargain.
“Pretty girl~” Suo sighed hoarsely, “Do you – h’ah – do you want to cum?” He fucked you hard and steady. His controlled pace held you right where he wanted. With the way you clamped around him so desperately, he knew you were holding it just for him, too. You weren’t in your body anymore anyway. You’d been fucked to purgatory without passage to heaven or hell. Mentally you were fucking them both. Their synchronicity thread the three of you together in both sensation and in spirit. Surreal. It was surreal. 
“My dear,” Suo’s hand moved to your throat, palm resting at the front while his index and thumb gripped your jaw again. He pulled you to look him in the eye, “Do you want to cum or no? I can leave you like just like this if you don’t answer.” 
His threat invaded your headspace, ripping your back to your body and back to clarity. Your legs shook with a violence, your belly and sides and arms trembling as you withheld yourself from orgasm. All you could do was nod as your throat had become sore from sound. 
“Get ready~. Your pace now!” Suo let your boyfriend have a taste of control for desert. 
Now Suo fucked you to Sakura’s increasing pace. Not only did he match pace, but he match ferocity and depth. Your cunt was the same as Sakura’s very fist, linking you to his heavy handed masturbation.
The burn of your muscles, the chill of sweat, the cigarette burn pleasure clawing at your cervix all coalesced. Your toes curled and you pressed Suo’s hand harder to your throat til you felt dizzy. Each pound and pulse of your finishing show worth an eye-rolling encore. Hot and thick, Suo coats your insides. Each pulse of his cock followed by the cinch of your walls in argument. Against your stomach, Sakura painted his own mark. His growling ‘fuck’ a sweet chorus against your mind. 
The three of you panting together, letting the soothing snow of the television calm your nerves. Once you all had caught your breath, Suo grabbed his shirt, ready to catch his cum from seeping out of you and onto the couch as he pulled out. You shuddered, muscles too weak from exertion to even attempt to help. 
“N-now onto aftercare,” The martial artist sucked in air and let it out in a stream, “Could you run the bath? I think our little darling here is too tired to stand.” 
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Warning con't. Consult a licensed therapist or psychologist if exposure therapy interests you as there are specific rules and regulations to the practice that a professional will know more than some schmo on tumblr. If done incorrectly, exposure therapy can reinforce and worsen phobias, trauma, and rituals so it is incredibly, incredibly important to seek a professional. Contact your insurance, your pcp, your therapist, whomever you need to refer you to a specialist if you are interested in exposure therapy.
It can be beneficial for PTSD, OCD, anxiety, phobias. Do your research on pubmed as pubmed is a proper and peer reviewed source for any type of medical information. If you need assistance navigating pubmed I would be happy to help as while I do not have a license for therapy nor a Psy.D., I at least have a degree in psych/neuro to know how to find reliable resources. The least I can do is offer help with finding proper peer-reviewed literature.
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