#watch bawl my eyes out at the office. fuck it. i wanna hear his bass in my ears

[zombiechoir]

I'm gonna say something very stupid and personal. I don't have a big support system of people. I have literally 3 people, two of them are my parents, the other is my bf. I don't easily trust people cause when they're bored of you or when things get difficult, they leave. That's why i seek my comfort in music and the people that make it. Music doesn't leave. Music is there when i need it to be, always, no exception. I feel more of a connection (for a lack of better wording) to those musicians than to most of my own family. I feel grateful for them, for their art that makes me feel like maybe, just maybe living life is not as fucked as it sometimes feels. That's why, when i discover a band/artist that can give me that feeling, i dive in head first, look up everything about them, learn all the lore, the little inside jokes between fans, the big and the small, the whole thing. That's why, when something bad happens to them, it hurts like a fucking shot to the chest, literally!! It's a devastating feeling and the loss feels allot more heavy. You were there for me and i couldn't let you know how much that meant to me. Or worse i couldn't be there for you when you clearly needed it. This is the second time i have to endure something like this and to say it fucking sucks is an understatement. All i know is that it will always keep hurting in some sort of way but eventually the gratitute takes over and they will mean even more to you than they ever have♡