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punchmedanny · 6 years ago

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This is really stupid and a waste of your time, but I really needed to write this and get it off my chest. To set the scene, I'm going into my freshman year of high school. In 8th grade, I was part of a group of about 8 friends (half guys, half gals). For the purposes of this story, you need to know that K, C, W, and I are female, and L is male. K and L dated for a while till the end of 8th grade. K, C, W, and I created a smaller, closer group called KCWC (later renamed KCEC) and we are (1/19)

all super close. However, K and C are best friends, and W and I are best friends. I met W in 6th grade, but we didn't become friends until 7th grade, but we got super close. Shortly after we became friends, I (at least I think it was me, I don't really remember that well) said that we were Wifeys (hence her being called W). Ever since, we have called eachother Wifey almost every time we see eachother. Last year, in like November, she told me that she's bi. At the time, I didn't really(2/19)

know what that was, so I was kind of like "whatever". Anyway, I learned a lot about it because of her, and it opened my mind to the fact that I don't have to be either gay or straight. In Febuary, I realized that I had a crush on a girl at my school. I shortly discovered that I'm either bi or pan. W was the first person I told for a while. (K recently discovered that she's pan, but that's another story) I've never dated anyone, but W dated a few girls and guys during 8th grade. W is (3/19)

naturally a touchy/physical person, but I'm very reserved and don't like any unsolicited touching. W is the one person who I like to, even feel comfort when I, hold hands (fingers entwined), hug for a long time, and cuddle with her. Every day before, during, and after lunch, we had a routine that involved us waiting for eachother, having our arms around eachother, holding hands a lot, touching eachother a lot, and just a lot of being together. Also, before school, C and I had a routine (4/19)

where we would go to class, put our books down, then go meet W at her locker, and after school our whole friend group would meet and W and I would hug more. (We didn't have any classes together so I could only see her then) Every day, I got more comfortable around her, and we started calling eachother late into the night (I don't have and iPhone, so I couldn't facetime) and she is the only person I actually called. We shared secrets and promises, and we talked and laughed for hours. (5/19)

secrets, and promises, and we talked and laughed for hours. The KCWC group was all in honors chorus, so. naturally, when we went on an overnight field trip to Hershey Park for a competition, we all roomed together. K and C sat together on the coach bus and W made me promise that I would sit with her on the bus. So I did, and all 4 of us had fun (since we were sitting across from eachother) the whole trip. In the hotel room, W and I shared a bed and C and K shared a bed. We were holding (6/20)

hands in bed and K and C said they act like roommates and W and I act like an old married couple (because we were playfully bickering among other stuff) After our completion that night, we had to watch the band complete, so, ofc, W and I sat next to eachother, and since we were tired, leaned out heads on eachother the whole time (not at all unusual for us though). That night in the hotel was the best night I've ever had. We stayed up wayyy too late playing truth or truth, a game like (7/20)

apples to apples, throwing pillows at eachother (and a lamp), impersonations, and generally just having fun. Before going to sleep W told me that she had a history of cuddling/randomly draping her limbs over people when she sleeps. Also, C was warm, so she turned up the AC. I'm almost always cold, so I woke up in the middle of the night because I was cold onl to find that W and I were spooning (I was the little spoon). (Before I fell asleep, I noticed that she was facing me and I (8/20)

purposely turned away rather than in so we could ~maybe~ cuddle (clue one)) In an effort to make myself warmer, I cuddled closer to her. Early in the morning, K and C tried to wake W and me up many times, but we kept going back to sleep, still cuddling. Also, the night before, K and C bet that they'd wake up and see W and me cuddling in the morning (a lot of people either ship W and me together or think we're dating) Also, I'm pretty sure that later, W said that she kept cuddling with me (9/20)

on purpose. (Keep in mind that she's the only person that I've ever cuddled or held hands with) The next day we actually went to Hershey Park, where I got W and C to finally like roller coasters. We (KCWC) all made lots of inside jokes and that day was so fun. We group- hopped eventually, and we ended up in a larger group. We were walking around the park, so W and I were holding hands (it's a big habit), K and L were holding hands (at the time they were still dating), three girls were (10/20)

all platonically holding hands with eachother, and C was skipping alone by herself (she was fine). We walked past Ms. A, my chorus teacher, who is usually the absolute best and we all love, started lecturing us on how we can't hold hands because it's "PDA" and we're not in high school yet. She also looked directly at W and me when she said that she doesn't care if it's a guy and a girl, a guy and a guy or a girl and a girl. We were all shocked because it was so uncharacteristic of Ms. A(11/20)

but we let go and muttered an "ok" before walking away. W and I still held hands walking around after that, but I was wary. On the long bus ride back to the school from Hershey right after we left the park, W was acting high and drunk at the same time, but I know for a fact she wasn't either, so I was very worried about her, so she went to the back to get some medicine from Ms. A and didn't come back till the very end, and she still was way off her game, which made me very worried and sad(12/20)

Shortly before school ended, another girl, R (who all of KCWC now dislike), tried to force things with W, and became obsessed with shoving the fact that she was holding hands with (among other stuff) W and they were now "hubbys". W seemed to feel the same way, so I got veryyy jealous because I thought that I was the only one who was uncomfortable with R around. She started to push me out and I grew more distant because I felt isolated (I have very low self esteem, especiallyyyyy about my (13/20)

social skills) and I began to worry that they all actually hated me because they thought I was as annoying as I thought R was. (I know now that's not true, after the reassurance and actions of my friends, but it was a very possible and major thing in my mind then). I had just begun to feel comfortable and happy when R started messing things up and "stealing" W. The KCWC group finally had a sleepover a few weeks before school ended (this was the first time W and I had hung out outside of (14/20)

school besides friends' bday parties because all our plans fell through), and we stayed up late ranting, throwing empty soda bottles, watching movies, playing games, etc. but we also talked about R. I can't express how relieved I felt that W felt as uncomfortable with R as I did. After that, things slowly went back to normal, though R still tried to butt in time-to-time. My friend group likes to go hang out at a local beach since a couple of us can even walk, but I was too anxious, (15/20)

awkward, and introverted to go before this year. It's kind of a tradition that on the day after school ends, a ton of people from our school go there to hang out with friends. Unfortunately, that was the last day before W moved to Texas (I live on the east coast), and she had to leave early. I still go tp the beach with the others in the friend group, but I feel much more anxious and I'm always a third, fourth, or even fifth wheel, which I never was when W was around. We still text a lot(16/20)

saying we love and miss eachother. I can't even think of her without smiling. A few days ago I opened my yearbook (in which she wrote multiple paragraphs in), played a song that reminds me of her, and wrote down a list of what I love about her before I had to stop since I was crying too hard. We also facetime rarely, since our schedules don't match up. I miss her so much and I was really counting on being able to go to high school with her. My other best friend is in another friend group (17/20)

in which I'm not comfortable with at all. I finally felt fully happy, comfortable, and not anxious when around my friends, but then she moved and it all came crashing down. Now I'm in fear (as always) that my other friends will finally realize that I'm not good enough to be their friend or worthy of their time and they'll dump me as soon as they find someone better. K and C often hang out without me and don't even think about inviting me. I'm worried I won't have any friends in high (18/20)

school. In my friend group, I'm the fattest and the rest of KCWC are very skinny/fit. I'm extremely self-conscious about this fact and W was the one person who I felt genuinely liked me despite all my quirks and I didn't feel insecure around her. I have a history of not understanding my feelings (or not even realizing that they're there) and W is no different. Last week when we were at the beach, K privately asked if I had lied when W and I both answered no to the "have you ever liked (19/20)

eachother" question. I immediately said no, then K said that W had told her that W lied (she used to like me) but she didn't like me anymore. Since then, I've realized and come to terms with the fact that I've liked her for months, and I still really like her. (I'm not sure like is the right word, but I can't decide what it would be otherwise) I just realized that I've been very jealous of all of her boyfriends and girlfriends and I've been very protective of her. I honestly have no idea(20/21)

[END QUESTION]

Okay, to begin with, thank you anon for being patient with me as it’s taken me several days for me to be in the right headspace to answer this!

So, starting high school is such a hard time in everyone’s life. Like, literally everyone. No matter how popular or pretty or talented or whatever they are. From a biological perspective, people’s body’s don’t make as much serotonin (aka the happy chemical) at that age as they do when people are older, so that doesn’t help anyone. I’m so sorry W moved - it sounds like you two were such cute and fun pair. It’s so nice you’ve been able to keep in touch as much as you’ve been able to and, who knows, you both might really appreciate being able to have a trustworthy outside perspective for things in your life as the school year starts.

For me personally, I made entirely new friends from 8th grade to high school. People tend to change quite a bit around then just because it’s a whole new chapter of your life and hs tends to bring a whole lot of different opportunities and challenges than what comes before it. So, while it’s so, so hard having turbulence with your friend group, that’s very normal and has nothing to do with you specifically. The fact that W left definitely changed the dynamic, but there’s a good chance it would’ve changed anyway… maybe just not as soon.

It’s good to go into high school with friends, but don’t feel obligated to stay as close to them as you were just because they’re who you already know. My hs had a lot more clubs and activities than jr high/middle school, so I’m guessing yours does, too. I was in theatre and art club then later speech and debate and that’s where I made all my friends, many of which were people I’d never even talked to before.

I’m sure you’ve heard people say hs is “the best time of your life” and I seriously question the lives of the people saying that. I’m not going to lie - I personally hated everything about hs except theatre and speech & debate and the awesome friends I made there. And like, not to be boring, but like study and stuff. Seriously, working hard on something that can help future you and give you a sense of accomplishment will probably help you feel better about yourself and is one of the few things you can control when relationships are in flux.

So, (in summary) I’d say don’t feel like any of what’s happening is your fault - it’s extremely normal for the time of your life in. Maintain the friendships you have now, but also get involved in something that interests you and meet new people who like the same thing. I hope this helps a bit

And btw, not a waste of my time in the slightest

My asks are always open if you (or anyone else) wants to talk

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notthemindprobe · 4 years ago

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EDIT: I started writing this wayyy before the whole SPN Destiel thing dropped (or the rumors about season 5 of Sherlock started). But my point still stands.

I’m about to infodump WAY too much information, but the phenomenon of SuperWhoLock honestly facinates me, so feel free to skim through this and only use what you need.

So background about me: Doctor Who is my main love. I started watching it at a young age (think 8-10). I then started watching Sherlock in my late tweens I think? Like 12-13ish? And then I started watching Supernatural around early teens 13-14, since it is obviously the LEAST family friendly of the three shows. I bring this up because, since I still have so much love for Doctor Who, I’m a tiny bit biased toward that show. I also know way more about that fandom than I do the other two. But I’m going to try to communicate my unbiased observations, but just keep that in mind.

I’ll delve into the second topic first, since I believe the first thing sort of builds off of it.

So there’s sort of four key characters to keep in mind concerning the whole “Superwholock writer/creators” issues. There’s:

-Eric Kripke. Who created Supernatural, but left after season 5, I think. To make a large blanket statement, people LIKED him.

-the non specific “SPN writers,” who took over when Kripke left. They are referred to as that: “SPN writers.” As a blanket statement, people DIDN’T like them.

-Stephen Moffat, who was the show runner for Doctor Who during the majority of the SuperWhoLock phase. He also co-wrote Sherlock. Referred to almost exclusively as “Moffat”

-Mark Gatiss, who co-wrote Sherlock with Moffat. He also wrote for Doctor Who in a lesser capacity.

These are the people I’m going to be referencing when I refer to the “writers” later on.

First: Supernatual. So, to make a long story short, Supernatural was supposed to end after Season 5. It’s how Kripke intended it. But, the show got picked up for more seasons, as Supernatural had developed a sort of cult following at that point. Kripke left after season 5, and a different writing team has been in place since season 6 and beyond.

Those are the FACTS, but I also want to touch on my own, personal observations as a viewer.

For the most part, people LOVED the “Kripke” era. And for anyone who’s ever watched the show, it’s OBVIOUS that the show was built up the end after Season 5. Sam was supposed to end up in hell with Michael and Lucifer. Dean was going to walk away from hunting and live a normal life. Bobby was dead, and so was Castiel (there’s also been rumors that Castiel was going to be reveled as God, but...I’m not so sure if that’s legit).

So once season 6 inevitably came around, it felt...off. It didn’t feel like the same show, with all the characters being post-character arc and pretty much retconned back into existence. Plus with the loss of Kripke, the whole base of which Supernatural had built its fanbase on had been lost, to put it harshly. The new writers tried their best, it seems, to keep the “feel” of the show, but with any show that goes past its “peak,” each new season seemed to get less and less praise and viewership.

Season 10 was sort of the last “decent” season of Supernatural. The SPN writers were already sort of on thin ice within the fanbase as it was, so with the significantly worse (imo) writing of season 12 and beyond, as well as the constant queerbaiting that left Destiel shippers extremely frustrated, a lot of people became *quite* angry with the writers, and many people dropped the show.

As with Doctor Who, well...people just didn’t like Peter Capaldi (though most whovians will deny that now).

Season 7, which was the 11th Doctor’s (Matt Smith’s) last season, and season 8, which was Peter Capaldi’s first season, had relatively poor writing in comparison to ones previous (at least in my opinion). So that didn’t help Capaldi going in.

Also...um...a lot of people didn’t like Capaldi because he was “old.” Again, people will deny it, but it happened. David Tennant and Matt Smith were two young, attractive men, and a lot of the SuperWhoLock fandom watched Doctor Who for that reason only. So, when Capaldi, who was in his 50′s, was announced, a lot, and I mean a LOT of people stopped watching Doctor Who. Coupled with the Lowe quality writing of season 8, along with the 12th Doctor’s “mean old man” portrayal throughout the first few episodes, people were upset both with Capaldi AND Moffat.

The Sherlock writers were really only ridiculed for one thing and one thing only: Johnlock. Up until Season 4 of Sherlock, SuperWhoLockians were pretty cool with what Moffat and Gatiss were doing with the show. But, even as someone who didn’t actually ship Johnlock, I could tell that Season 4 was set up to make it *SEEM* like John and Sherlock would become a thing by the end of the Season. Mary was dead. John had a kid. There were a lot of...suggestive...dialogue. It was set up in a way that lead people on. So, I think it’s understandable that people were upset with Moffat when Johnlock inevitably did not become canon.

So, to summarize, most of the backlash towards the SuperWhoLock writers by the fanbase boiled down to a difference between what the fanbase wanted vs. what the writers eluded to vs. what the writers actually delivered. The fact is, specifically concerning Sherlock and Supernatural, the writers knew exactly why the viewers watched their shows. They knew a lot of people watched for Destiel and Johnlock exclusively. The writers always knew those ships would never become true canon, but the also realize they’s lose a large chunk of their audience if they dismissed them entirely. So writers would “tease” the audience with suggestive scenes and emotional dialogue, knowing full well those ships were NEVER gonna sail.

And those very same ships caused quite a bit of tension within the fandom itself. Like I said, there was a certain “mindset” you had to follow to participate in the SuperWhoLock fandom. Destiel, Johnlock, and (to a lesser degree) TenRose sort of “made up” the bulk of Superwholock content. And if you didn’t agree with them or, god forbid, shipped something else, well. It could become a very toxic environment very fast.

And guess what? I never shipped any of them. Which is sort of why I fell away from Sherlock and Supernatural specifically I think, because their fandoms were just SO heavily influenced by the OTPs. And that just wasn’t my thing...

Call for Superwholockers

We are planning a superwholock episode of @irreverentradio and we’re curious about your experiences in the fandom. Reach out in the notes or send us a message!

Some questions you might answer for us include:

Is there a word for fans of superwholock that isn’t “superwholocker”? Help us sound like we know what we’re talking about!

When did you get involved? Are you still involved?

Were you a fan of all of the shows outside of/prior to superwholock? If not, which one(s)?

What fics or other fanworks stood out personally, or culturally?

Did the fandom affect how you view the source works? Whether you are/were involved with superwholock or not.

When did you join? When do you first remember hearing about it?

Which platforms did you use to engage with the fandom?

Or any other insights you think we should have to do the topic justice.

You can find seasons 1 and 2 of our podcast at anchor.fm/irreverentradio or most other places you listen to podcasts.

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