#i wanna cry my eyes out and feel again | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kxi14 · 6 months ago

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anyone have any book recommendations similar too the books i fell in love with hope or perks of being a wallflower? would be greatly appreciated :)

#perks of being a wallflower #i fell in love with hope #books and reading #books #i wanna cry my eyes out and feel again #poetry #poem #book recommendations #novel #book #books & libraries #literature #reading

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notsodailycake · 2 months ago

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I miss HIWFI

Idk if there is anyone but my mutuals who miss the comic, but i do, alot

#i genuinely wanna cry bc of this #but I've been having such a hard time to find the motivation for it #my life is fine #I've been given the time to work on it woth no worries now #but I'm struggling and it sucks #i just wanna open tumblr to see people talking about my comic again #i wanna press the “next” link to part 10 #I wanna see the script i have drawn out so badly #i dont feel obligated to do it for the public eye i really dont care #i just genuinely miss this comic #but it cant continue unless i do something about it #cake talks #fnaf #fnaf sb #fnaf security breach #security breach #home is where freddy is #hiwfi

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frecklystars · 3 months ago

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I have another gig in a week and I'm so nervous 😭 I get paid hundreds of dollars for only five hours of work, but it is so nerve-racking and the work environment is so stressful, like literally every time I'm there I'm on the verge of tears or I have to take a 2 minute break before the show starts just to run to the restrooms and cry bc I get so stressed out. And then when I clock out I just cry my eyes out in my car while driving home. But hey!!! Hundreds of dollars!!! For five or six hours of my time!!! Only a few days a month!!! Hundreds!!! Of dollars!!! So it would be totally stupid to quit.

I wouldn't have been able to afford pampering myself on my last two F/O anniversaries (and currently placing an order for a rose bouquet for Six's anniversary for the 18th) if I didn't have this second job... but if it didn't pay me such a large amount of money each time, I probably would have quit by now bc it makes me so damn anxious. The show isn't even for one week and I'm sitting here stressing about it! I have one thousand other things to stress about and this job shouldn't be one of 'em 😤

I just keep trying to think about Ken hugging me while saying "Aw, sweet girl, don't be nervous! You JUST started this job, you've only worked three shows -- you think you're gonna be perfect your first try?? You're gonna be so good once you get the hang of it. Just look at me! I've been doing Beach for 62 years now, and I still don't know what my job is supposed to be... but I know I look So Cool™ 😎"

#my god i love ken SO MUCH i am so grateful to have an F/O who brings me comfort when im anxious #and grateful i am not as numb as i was three weeks ago #i am still struggling to self ship like i used to - and i think i always will bc of [gestures to 2023] - BUT #the fact that i thought of ken and felt some relief is a rly good sign bc three weeks ago i felt *nothing*#i am depressed and miserable as fuck today but he still gave me a crumb of comfort. THATS SOMETHING ✨#woof #plus I'm gonna be able to meet a TF voice actor in September bc of this job #I'm gonna give him my charms... and... say I liked his character...#and maybe it'll make me feel better around that character. or maybe it won't. but it's worth a try!!!#and how cool is it that I get to work in a place where so many big celebs do their shows?? and MEET them???#one day I wanna meet John Legend if he comes back again and tell him I LOVED him in La La Land 🥺#This job is impossible to get hired for unless if you have connections bc it's so... idk the word. fancy?#that's not the word but it's a Big Job and I am SO STRESSED MY GOD #but I'd be wasting opportunities if I didn't keep trying at least for a few more months #and if I gotta cry my eyes out in the parking lot after my shifts that's fine as long as I work the full five to six hours #I'm celebrating *THREE* F/O anniversaries in September which is ALSO MY BIRTHDAY #so I'm gonna need the extra cheddar to absolutely spoil myself. Officer K and Driver are two big main F/Os #and I still haven't celebrated my Barbie/Ken anniversary as much as I wanted #so!! I!! will!!! tough it out even though this job makes me cry. give me that money #I am stressed every day of my life bc I have a Complex Stress Disorder you might as well pay me hundreds to be stressed

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beeholyshit · 6 months ago

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I'M GONNA START CRYING I'M SO ILL RN

#(🚂) *⁠.⁠✧ — Valentine Grantz #(♡⁠) ｡⁠.ﾟ—⁠ Eli Clark #THANK YOU SO MUCH MY LOVE MY HUNNI FOR THIS OMFG I'M GOING CRAZY RN #I CAN'T STOP LOOKING AT THEM. LEMME. ORGANIZE MY IDEAS #It makes me so hapoy to look at Eli's face. he looks so cute #thanks for making him justice mu love. I'm so crazy rn aougg #I'm OBSESSED with how Eli looks in general #HIS CLOTHES. HIS FACE. HIS NOSE. ALL THE DETAILS YOU PUT IN HIM MAKES ME SO HAPOY #I'M LITERALLY KICKING MY FEET RN #ALSO VALENTINE. HE LOOKS ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE #THE FACE. HE IS SO HAPOY TO BE WITH HIS BOYFRIEND :3 #I WANNA GRAB HIS CHEEKS AND KISS THEM MWA MWA #now. let's talk. about #“I see a future for us Valentine”......#no bc. I'm so ill I'm going crazy.#me thinking of how I planned their entire wedding.#man I don't wanna rish things with him but I'm already so in love #I just wanna see them hapoy #AND THEY ARE NOW #those comforting words... aoughhhgjj #I love them so bad I'm gonna cry #THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN MY LOVE YOU DID SO GOOD #I LOVE IT I LOVE IT #THE TEXTURE IT'S SO GOOD. IT FEELS SOS GOOD TO THE EYE #AND YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE THE WAY YOU DO YOUR LINEART #KISSES YOUR HANDS AND MAKES OUT WITH U MWAMWMWMAM #⭐ —⁠ Nero!!!#(🔮)*⁠.♡ —⁠ Valeli

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sensitivegoblin · 2 months ago

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Vent

Tw: sh, suivide

#i hate that my brain is broken and it makes me fight with my family....#i.wish i could jjst shut my mouth like thsy qant me to.....#it smells like human shit n piss in my room cus im too scared to ask my dad to change it :')✨️💕✌️#i wanna cut so that i get release and attention but last time my dad didnt even notice and my sister didnt take it seriously :(#i feel like cuttong is the only way to let out my Ick and show how not good im doing #mental illnesses are invisible and so fucking crippling......#my family thinks im lazy i just know they do #im such a fuvking failure at 25 i should be taking care of my dad like he did to his..#also my dad always says hes in catholic hell sooooo guess im not real then :')#he spefically says he died as a kid and this is his hell.....🥹✌️💔#i just....hate my life and already dont feel real #he basically vents and says whatever without thinking about the impact on ME the adult child with autism.#i think about my words affect on everybody all the time and it seems like barely anyone thinks the same #....maybe i can s-xually -buse myself instead of cutting #but cumming always brings a biiiiig wave of crying #i shpuldnt cut for the attebtion but FUCK i wanna get a hug or see someone have a soft voice n soft eyes for me #....all i do is annoy my dad #i should just kill myself so i dont annoy him anymore #but im too scared of failing #also im scared of Hell #i need a hug that doesnt start with me asking for a hug......#if i didnt do anything affectionate for a whole day i would go without it #i would trade every present in the world if my family could at least just UNDERSTAND my emotional brain #instead i get “i just dont understand” over n over n over n over again.....#im not trying to be an attention seeker when i say this: logically the only answer i can come up with is to k-ll myself.#its like 2 + 2 = su!cide #my family says that theyd kill themselves if i did....i dont believe that #theyre less broken than me so they would heal and move on.#for clarification #the most violent thing km gonna do is c-t myself im NOT attempting tonight

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running-in-the-dark · 10 months ago

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okay my eyes are still really swollen and my nose still hurts and my head still hurts and I'm so over it. it's been what, 9 hours?? I'm not enjoying this.

#all this just because I used some paint??#my eyes feel like immediately after you've been crying for 2 hours #not nice #and if I want to try again I'll have to accept that this will happen again and. that's kind of unpleasant. don't want that.#buuut. I only used them for a short while but it was already so much fun 😭 couldn't focus on it that well because everything hurt but it #was fun!#maybe if I wear a mask? don't know if that'd make a difference for my skin but I guess it won't hurt to try #sucks that it's winter and I can't open the window completely #maybe that's the problem #but if I can only use them outside or in summer it's pretty much pointless anyway #ugh.#overthinking this as usual but I wanna use these damn paints so bad!!#I've found a different brand that I can try. I don't know if they use a different oil or whatever but at least these ones aren't of unknown #age so I can rule out that it's just that they've. idk gone bad or something #personal

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blizzardfluffykpop · 4 months ago

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why the fuck do i miss pigeons

#don't ask me i am going thru it today #ebhehbbehbhebhabh #i miss pigeons dude #oooh the poor little domesticed cuties #kate rambles from here #this is a small detail of the feeling i am feeling #like post leaving nyc is wrecking havoc on my psyche #i don't want to be in the fucking great plains #a few irls don't understand my want for city life- and i didn't know it was this bad until staying there for 4 days-#but my mom's whole family is from the city- i just feel so at home there- and everything i've inherited that way is in my blood #and i just wanna bawl my eyes out #i have been quite a bit but like ik i have a goal now- to move into the city- i've always had that goal to at least move to the city near m #but like nyc was like being somewhere i felt i wanted- it's not that i'm looking to make it big- i miss the noise the water and pigeons #around here you'll hear the occasional car go by- and crickets- i miss the city lights- i keep crying about it for so many reasons but #i just don't know how to actually express it?#because it's such an odd feeling for me to feel? because if yknow me well- i love being at home- i hate sleeping somewhere else-#taking a trip down south this last christmas- i couldn't stand the quiet- it's quieter the more south you go and i can't do this #i've always wanted to leave my small town but ?? like actually being somewhere that has felt home has been unattainable bc every #where in oh hasn't been home... and for once i felt like i could do this- and having to return here- just made me break down and cry #maybe it's the person i live with- that makes me wish to leave- but that's not the full truth- idk maybe a good nap will help #kate rambles #i have a life goal now but i wish i could do it now- i hope sooner rather than later i'll at least live in the city #i've been happily living but now i have a direction i wish to run towards- and i'm gonna chase after it #sure i miss seeing tbz i loved seeing them- but it's not even post concert depression- if that makes sense?#which it doesn't make sense- because for mx it was only pcd- but for nyc it's missing the city... and it feels awful #pls ignore this i just needed to be frustrated somewhere #ig knowing what i'm missing- i can finally work on filling that spot huh? i guess that's what i'll be doing #(also vv small point but the fact that one of the people i live with- refuses to ever visit nyc again- is so comforting to me)#pls don't send me an ask about this i just needed to ramble and i haven't caught up on my daily journal yet to do so- so this is here

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bittwitchy · 7 months ago

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see the reality is i post on my rps usually when nobodys been there a bit and nobody is probably online, but the mental illness in me keeps saying its bc everyone secretly hates me and i dont deserve love, and when i tell a gov doctor that, they basically just say ‘take your antidepressant’s and shut up’ which is also funny when said gov doctor wont refill my fucking antidepressants in the first place

#what i need is smthn for my anxiety and PROBABLY the obviously worsening ocd #but anxiety meds and antidepressants dont mix well #just like adhd meds and anything else dont mix well #which is why i just have a redbull if i need to focus bx it works for a few hours and then i pass out #which isnt healthy but its better than going through the diagnosis process AGAIN bc they dont have my info anymore #its early sad times rn w brina who hasnt gotten an ounce of treatment at all hi #see the other thing is #if i talk about my mental health at all #people will either hate me for being annoying which is what my brain will pinpoint #or feel sorry for me which i also dont want #all i rly wanna do is vent but thats never really an option at all #like yes i know its not normal to want to have a breakdown and cry bc your fucking pillow isnt the correct fluff and wont dluff #i know its not normal to feel like you should die because something wasnt in fhe spot you put it in and was moved slightly #im aware. and the reality is nobody who can do anything about it cares #i have to get an authorization to see a therapist or get meds at all even tho the card claims i dont have to #and the doc tbey gave me wont give me one #they dont allow email so i cant leave a paper trail when bitching at them and my calls go ignored #im losing my mind steadily #and thats not even onto the physical problems #but also the sheer fucking audacity of the website being all ‘oh just go to ERs and UC snd we’ll cover it’ vs hospitals specifically saying #‘we will refuse you if you have Gov Ins unless you have the money to pay out of pocket #if youre on gov insurance you dont have fucking money thats the entire fucking point. you creedy fucknuts go shove tour nepotism in your #fucking eyes and die if anyone doesnt deserve to fuck its you fuckfaces #sometimes i just want to scream esp when this doesnt seem to be most other ppls issues #but then i talk to other women and it is #it just doesnt make sense and i hate it #but i never rly got help on private insurance either so #tbd #depression cw

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widevibratobitch · 1 year ago

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#coming to tumblr for the first time in three days just to bitch because i feel like shit <333 #sorry if i havent responded to your message i will as soon as i get a grip but rn im just too busy #both with uni and with crying because a friend said a mean thing to me lol #and because im tired of this new friendship already and tired of hearing this girl talking how great she is lol #am i jealous? fuck yeah i am.#and it's not like she's mean like straight up. cause like.#when i say im really considering quitting and dropping out she tries to encourage me ig #but then she follows it up with 'ofc *I* never had a problem with this and that because it always just came naturally to me teehee #but yknow. dont give up uwu'#and she keeps sending me recordings of her singing to tell her how good she is and always tells me how her teacher praises her #and like. its cool. like i get it that its a nice feeling when you do something well and wanna share that joy with a friend #but idk. i just think its kinda. well not mean but a litt #*a little tone deaf? when ive just been telling her that im in a Bad Place rn and my voice isnt working as it should #and my pianist is bullying me and i end up crying on almost every lesson #and she hits me with a 'damn that sucks fuck that pianist dont give up tho <3 #now do you wanna listen to me sing bel raggio lusinghier like a pro and my professor telling me i am sublime?'#also when i tell her that im sorry that im not very social and i just cannot stay and chat cause im having a horrible day today #and really dont feel well and she's like 'yeah i havent noticed anything you're always like that... *side eye*' in a way that suggests #im a horrible friend cause im not talking with her enough and yet again im disappointing her (aint that familiar lol)#i just. idk. the last two-three weeks have been absolutely horrible to me. i cant get out of bed i havent done a single colorful make up #in so long ive basically forgotten how to do that. and i loved doing fun make up looks that make people tell me i look like a clown.#but i just dont have the energy to do anything more than put on a random tshirt and spray dry shampoo on my unwashed hair #i dont even wear my rings anymore. ive stopped caring about being the pinkest slayest queerest looking bitch in the room cause i just. cant #and even some casual friend of mine asked me yesterday if im okay cause they can see something is Not Right. but SHE not only doesnt notice #anything. i have a feeling she feels like im disappoing and neglecting her because i cant be bothered to text with her 24/7 #like idk. maybe its just my imagination but i barely even feel like an actual person. more like just a homunculus made to trail after her #and listen to her bragging about how pretty/talented/unbothered she is #oh and also for her to keep dissing m/ozart lol like idk why it hurts me so bad but then ig its not that unusual to feel shitty #when someone keeps talking shit about something you really love and are passionate about and making you feel like an idiot #because you like it. because its stupid and boring and you're a simpleton for enjoying it instead of liking sth more 'ambitious'

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sleevebuscemii · 1 year ago

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#grief is so weird i keep switching from crying my eyes out to getting distracted on purpose by stuff on my phone to being like ok.#i can be calm. i can talk about this. and then as soon as i open my mouth im crying again.#my family just got back from the funeral and i want to talk to them so bad but i dont wanna be crying while i do becuz they dont need that #but as soon as i pick up the phone i start crying again #i want to talk to my brothers so bad because he reminded me so much of them he was literally their age and they knew him #we’re family friends like. his mom helped me buy my car. like. i knew him when he was an infant.#but i just cant stop crying!!#and i know in a few minutes im gonna be scrolling through here again #and it feels weird to but its better than crying and i need to stop crying so i can call my brothers #because thats all i want right now #m

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britneyshakespeare · 1 year ago

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listening to mannequin by britney spears on loop can be a coping strategy

#I STILL FEEL LIKE IM GOING CRAZY!!!!!!!! IM GOING CRAZY!!!!!!!! TEEEEEEHEE IM MAD!!!!#if you wanna just (screeeeeeeeam) scream your lungs #if you wanna just (cryyyyyyyyy) cry your eyes out #YES BRITNEY YOURE RIGHT I DO!!!!!!!!!!!#text post #britney spears #britney #circus #baby baby baby i don't care i don't care i don't care i don't you can cry cry cry again gain gain my face like a mannequin #mannequin yeah i did it again #you can cry cry cry again gain gain my face like a mannequin #idgaf #always been one of my favorite deep cuts on my FAVORITE britney album. but it's hitting too real right now #she's right. i CAN cry my eyes out of my head

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xxlelaxx · 1 year ago

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Yesterday I was panicking. Today I might have a mid wife, managed to make appointments and the guy from our wish apartment, wants to talk cause he changed his mind!

#ignore me #honestly if all of this works out and we get the baby courses i will cry #next step (later today) is finding good maternity clothes and hopefully also getting them soon!#cause i refuse to buy them first hand #seems like a waste of money #also reevaluating our what to buy for the baby list #we also might need to get the stroller far earlier then i wanted to cause i found one we both really like #also my parents wanna help us and pay but I've never felt so bad about getting money from someone #and we might be able to save more which means we wont use up all our saving in the next month #god i hope so much that we figure all of this out and we manage everything a #cause then the baby will have a better start and i wanna give this baby the best start in the world #yesterday we heard its heartbeat and gods the way we looked at each other i swear it felt like everything was perfect for a second #we both had tears in our eyes and the babys heartbeat was so fast and they started moving again!#i cant wait to really feel the kicks and to always know they are okay #i only have been feeling little ones and I'm not sure if it is really kicks but yeah

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freshmeatz · 1 year ago

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fun leech information of the day even if it's too personal I given my heart out on a platter constantly and I just cant bother to care anymore

#everything went into a stasis for me when i was 15 #and what i mean by that is when ive basically ripped myself apart over and over again ive basically become someone i cant even recognize #anymore at all #i dont feel my age despite needing to be im scared of everything and everyone i dont feel like an adult and i still feel like #im stuck being 15 in my head everyone before me everyone after me ive lost myself on the internet and i will always become situated as a mem #Memory of what i use to be and it fuckinfnsucks i dont feel right in my body i dont feel right in my head and i kust feel fuckinfnstupid all #the time everyday every night #recent events from maybe last year resedimented this fear and i fucking resent what happened but its all too late anyways #i feel sick of kyself im tired and all inwant tondo is spend time with people because i cant stand being alone but that means always exposin #exposing my innards my heart and my mind because thats all i ever did as a kid growing up online #i dint know who i am anymore im just leech now or something I don't knownehy im pouring mybheart out like thisni fell so stupid but i just #cant fucking get a grasp on myself i had to force msyelf to grow up and now im fucjing Violently regressing backwards and its just getting #to the point i wanna scream and cry my eyes out i hate that i dont feel secure anymore I hate how clingy i am i hate thag im liek this

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ofieugogyshz · 2 years ago

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thought about my son and the actual utapri movie i saw and spotify has decided to play one of the only songs it has from it on my 12hr long idol-esque playlist

#NAYWAYS NOW IM FEELING MY HEART HOLLOW OUT A LITTLE BIT MORE BC I WONT HAVE THAT EXP AGAIN FOR *ANOTHER* 5 YRS #CRYINF I WANNA GO SCREAM WITH EVERYONE ELSE #i somehow am the only person to not cry at these movies tho???? idgi but anyways i dont have just dry eyes but dry voice #glad i got to sit next to a friend each of the 2 days!#ALSO PLEASE GIVE ME MY SON'S SONG SPOTIFY DO U FUCKING HAVE IT YET I NEED TO HEAR HIS SONG IT IS BOMB DOT COM

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sirompp · 2 years ago

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just saw a l0whunt post where they KISSED feeling VERY violated even though it was properly tagged and i was the one who clicked on it anyway. but.

#IN MY DEFENSE i was just expecting them to be like standing next to each other #because like 70% of the time when i click on a l0whunt post thats jst what it IS #anyway im never projecting my aromanticness onto another character again because this is just hell #i could say all the other reasons why other more normal people hate this ship but ill be honest i dont really care about any of that!!#its just fuel to the fire to me. to help me feel more justified on why seeing it makes me genuinely want to cry #URGH. I JUST. WHY IS IT EVERYWHERE #YES im biased but SERIOUSLY it GENUINELY SUCKS AS A SHIP.#is it because its the only possible m/f ship in the show. be honest. is it #is that why this ship with no more development than about a dozen frames of blushes from 1 guy who easily blushes anyway #became more popular than fucking L//UMIT//Y #<- CENSORED SO IT WONT SHOW UP IN TAGS IVE GOT NOTHING AGAINST THE SHIP #i mean i dont really. Care. about them BUT I CAN PERFECTLY TOLERATE THEM ON SCREEN WITH NO VISCERAL DISCOMFORT WHICH MEANS ITS WELL WRITTEN #because. AGAIN. im AROMANTIC and very Very romance repulsed #<-''but siro if youre soooo romance repulsed why are you a fan of the bug and cat show'' i literally cant explain it #i genuinely dont know why i love the show sm when i literally have to cover my eyes any time they start RECIPROCATING FEELINGS EW GROSS!!#ive gone off topic #and i cant even be like. lowhunt fans dni. because. thats EIGHTY PERCENT OF THE FUCKING FANDOM #i follow like a DOZEN PEOPLE who ship it!!#actually ALL of the owl... um. the owl show people i follow ship it aside from like TWO PEOPLE #<-trying to figure out how to get my point across without this showing up in the main tags because. hoo boy. i dont wanna deal with that #oh and itd upset people or whatever. Sad! They all upset me constantly but i guess i have to be the BIGGER PERSON or whatever #UGH <-annoyed but would rather die than upset other pepole #im tired of being respectful. i want to let hatred into my heart #this is like the 1 thing in the whole entire world i let myself hold any feelings of animosity for #i just. HATRED #ANGER AND HATRED AND #twitter is so fucking smug about it too #like ill see posts with the most. stupid of things and itll be QRT'd a million times with #''lets see the lowhunt deniers explain THIS''#like. I hate your guts

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arolesbianism · 1 month ago

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Finished my isat playthrough. 💥💥💥

#rat rambles #stars posting #I didn't get to do everything I was planning on doing but I have no regrets god acts 5 and 6 are so fucking good #almost cried like 20 times despite the fact I've watched all this a billion times already lol #although I did get to see a Lot more dialogue than other ppl usually find so that can be my reason #always gotta tripple check everything you never know #also I feel bad for neglecting the doll through my run examining it in act 6 nearly made me cry my eyes out #Im sorry bestie I just didn't feel like going back to dead end rooms over and over again #maybe next run lol #if I do a second playthrough I wanna do it on pc tho I need those achievements #but yeah shakes siffrin violently and slams them into a comfy bed #also me looking at odile and going tee hee (<- thinking abt au stuff)#Ill engage in the horrors later rn Im going to drink some water and appreciate this very good video game

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