#i used the incorrect quote generator on perchance

[gaygirldoodles]

Leo: My therapist was talking to me and she said that I really need to break down my walls and let people in..

Leo: So I've decided to break the fourth wall.

Leo: *looks at camera* Hi there. I use humor as a coping mechanism.

[rats-and-robots]

Instead of spamming the tag with a shitton of incorrect quotes I'm just gonna make one big post.

(submissive Marazhai romance)

---

Marazhai: You’d be stupid to lay a hand on me.

Von Valancius: Oh, you’d be surprised how much stupid shit I do.

---

Von Valancius: You know, there’s only one person who can tell you what you are.

Marazhai: Me.

Von Valancius: No.

Von Valancius: Me.

---

Von Valancius: What’s your body count?

Marazhai: Do you mean sex or murder?

---

Von Valancius: Stay foxy.

Marazhai: Die lonely.

---

Von Valancius: That’s a crazy idea. Insane. It doesn’t make sense.

Marazhai: You’ll do it?

Von Valancius: Of course.

---

Von Valancius: I think I'm falling for you.

Marazhai: Then get up.

---

Von Valancius: You know, when I first met you I thought you were a real bitch.

Marazhai: What changed your mind?

Von Valancius: Oh, now I know that you’re a fake bitch. Why do you ask?

---

Von Valancius: I love you.

Marazhai, not paying attention: What was that?

Von Valancius: I said I’m selling you to the zoo-

---

Marazhai: We wouldn’t last two minutes without the Rogue Trader.

Marazhai:

Marazhai: Don’t tell them I said that.

---

Von Valancius: I am in charge of this disaster!

Marazhai: I have a name, you know.

---

Von Valancius: That was so hot, Marazhai.

Marazhai: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenterate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets.

Von Valancius: I know.

---

Von Valancius: Marazhai and I are no longer dating.

Marazhai: Rogue Trader, that’s a horrible way of telling people you branded me.

---

Marazhai: I have feelings for you.

Von Valancius: Why? What's wrong with you? Are you sure you're okay?

[theclassclone]

Scudworth: Thank you for not saying 'I told you so'.

Candide: When you’re as right as I am, you don’t have to say it.

[chaoswithcausation]

Sanders Sides Incorrect Quotes

I did one of these for Virgil a while back and people seemed to like it, so I thought I’d do another one that’s not side-specific. Enjoy!

-x-

Virgil: That's not funny. Remus: I thought it was funny. Virgil: You don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.

-x-

Janus: I didn’t even realize how sarcastic I was being. It’s starting to become a problem, I think.

-x-

Roman: As usual, Roman has to save the day! Janus: As usual, Janus has to hear about it.

-x-

Roman: But who gets which pencil? Janus: Since they're my things, I get the good one, Logan gets the broken one and you don't get one because fuck you.

-x-

Patton: Isn't it weird that people kill mosquitoes just because they're annoying? Remus: Damn, if people did that to each other, Janus would've killed me years ago.

-x-

Janus, working at McDonald's: Sorry sir, we don't serve a McFuck here, so either you throw that one slice of pickle out or we're gonna have a McProblem.

-x-

Patton: What makes you think it's okay to watch Hannibal given its subject matter? Janus: Sometimes, I watch television shows for entertainment purposes. Remus: Because I condone murder and cannibalism.

-x-

Remus: Are you reading fan fiction? Logan, reading an article about extremely rare diseases: Wh- No. Remus: Oh, is it on AO3? Logan: This is CNN.

-x-

Roman: "It's easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield." Logan: Opposite over hypotenuse. Logan: Dipshit.

-x-

*Remus is comforting Janus after Virgil left to join the core sides* Remus: Stop crying because it’s over. Start smiling because Virgil is someone else’s problem now.

-x-

Janus, texting: Patton, will you please go to sleep? Patton, texting back: What makes you think you didn’t just wake me up? Janus, yelling: I CAN HEAR YOU CLAPPING TO THE FRIENDS THEME EVERY TWENTY MINUTES SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP! Janus, texting: Just a hunch :) You goin’ to sleep soon? Patton, texting: I’m trying Janus, yelling again: TRY HARDER I HAVE A 5:45 AM MEETING TOMORROW BITCH Janus, texting: Okay, don’t stay up too late or you’ll be cranky :)

[tacosandtouchtanks]

Tina: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine. Zeke: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again. Tina: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns?? Zeke: Is it working?

Zeke: Is this mistletoe? Tina: Uh, no, no, that is basil. Zeke: Too bad cause if it was mistletoe I was gonna kiss you. Tina: Yeah, no, it’s still basil.

Zeke: Can you cut me some slack, Tina? I’m sort of in love. Tina: I’m sorry, but that’s really not my problem. Zeke: I’m in love with you. Tina: *blushes* Oh. That brings me in the loop a little.

Rudy: Just be yourself. Tina: Really? Rudy, I have one day to win over Zeke’s parents. Tina: How long did it take for you guys to like me? Alex: Couple of weeks. Louise: Six months. Gene: Jury’s still out. Tina: See Rudy? ‘Just be yourself,’ what kind of garbage advice is that?!

[thatincorrectquotegeneratorguy]

Person A: Hey bro, what do you want to eat?

Person B: The souls of the innocent!

Person C: A bagel.

Person B: No!

Person C: Two bagels.

[avocado-frog]

Incorrect quote compilation

Jaxon: Now it seems we're back at square one-- finding Dylan. Leo: For the record, I already found them. Elliot: And you let them get away before we could have a meaningful conversation. Leo: They stabbed me! Jaxon: I'm surprised they waited this long, Leo. We've all had the urge.

-

Dylan: Why do you act like we’re three year olds? Jaxon, exasperated: WHY?!? Jaxon points at Leo: YOU TRIED TO HIJACK A CAR! Jaxon points at Elliot: YOU NEARLY JUMPED 20 FEET OFF A CARPARK! Jaxon points at Dylan: AND YOU ATE MULTIPLE DRIED LEAVES AND ROCKS OFF THE GROUND! Jaxon: AND YOU ASK ME WHY????

-

Elliot: Okay, can we all stop saying stupid shit for a moment, please?! Leo: Alright. Jaxon: Hey, I- Elliot: SHUT UP! Jaxon: I HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED MY SENTENCE!! Leo: It was bound to be stupid.

-

Jaxon, holding a toy lightsaber: I’m Darth Vader! Elliot: I’m done with everyone’s bullshit.

-

Logan: I have seen a lot of murders in my time, and all six of them were today.

-

Jaxon: But seriously, what is the real plan here that has to do with not fucking around? Leo: There is no plan that does not involve fucking around. But we will make sure all of our fucking around will be applied in a constructive direction.

-

Leo: Can I bother you for a second? Lily: You're always bothering me, but go ahead.

-

Logan: Lily, keep an eye on Leo today. She's going to say something to the wrong person and get punched. Lily: Sure, I'd love to see Leo get punched. Logan: Try again. Lily, sighing: I will try to stop Leo from getting punched.

-

Logan, spraying a melted cutting board with a tiny water gun: We gotta cool this bitch down. Cool it down. Leo: I actually just put the cutting board in the oven... Elliot, visibly confused: Okay, so she decided to put the cutting board in the oven? Logan, spraying Leo: You FUCKING DUMBASS! Leo: Dude, I forgot- Logan: OH MY FUCKING GOD! We're trying to make Chicken Alfredo right now, and you fucking MELT the cutting board in the oven at 400 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT!? Dylan: *Watching in complete confusion while trying to process this whole situation.*

-

Logan: You know what I learned from my friendship with Leo? Cass: There’s no such thing as too mean? Lily: Never let your friends know for sure if you like them? Jaxon: Always hold a grudge?

-

Logan: When's the last time we all got together like this Leo: Hmm. The time Jaxon dropped me off a building.

[jadecantcreate]

coalecroux incorrect quote doodles (its ironic guys)

i slightly modified & used this (^) quote from perchance’s incorrect quote generator

[ghost-ferry]

Hi I found your incorrect quote about Bunnydoll world domination (I love that ship) and I love your art style so more incorrect quotes??? Please??? And like if I want some I use Incorrect Quote Generator Perchance so if you're already using that then cool but like

Incorrect quotes I beg 🙏🙏🙏

Damn people really like my incorrect quotes comics

I also use an incorrect quote generator for all my comics

Also thank you for the compliment ☺️

[mercury50]

Moby-Dick Incorrect Quotes from the Perchance Incoorect Quote Generator (Part I/?)

Ahab: Ugh, there’s always that weak bitch in the group who isn’t down with murder. Ahab: glares at Starbuck Starbuck: Well, sorry I have morals!

Daggoo: Last night I found out Tashtego is a sleep talker. Ishmael: Oh, really? Daggoo: "The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell." Right. In. My. Ear. At 3am.

Starbuck: Why can’t we all just get along? Stubb: Because most of us are assholes, Starbuck.

Ahab: Well, well, well, if it isn’t the consequences of my actions.

Starbuck: None of those words are in the Bible! Stubb: Psalm 119:105. “And Jesus said unto his followers, should a manlet incel attempt to mansplain the blockchain to a girlboss, may she waste his time and yassify his blorbos” Starbuck: HE DID NOT FUCKING SAY THAT!

Ahab, to the squad: And remember, if I get harsh with you it is only because you’re doing it all wrong.

Stubb: Could you be anymore annoying? Pip: Yes.

Ishmael: My level of gay has reached “sighing deeply whenever anything extremely heterosexual happens near me”.

Tashtego: I hate Pip. Daggoo: Don’t say hate. That is a mean word. Tashtego: Fine, I LOATHE Pip.

Flask: "Go hang a salami" backwards is "I'm a lasagna hog". Stubb: How did either of those sentences occur naturally for you to discover this?

Ishmael: Can I ask a dumb question? Queequeg: Better than anyone I know.

[lesbianfrog666]

Couldn’t draw cause I hurt my wrist during PE so instead here’s a list of memes I made using Perchance’s incorrect quotes generator

[gaygirldoodles]

Delilah: Help! Someone at the prom has been killed!

Chloe: Calm down, we don't need you to Panic! At the Disco.

[ryan--sky]

Star Nerds Incorrect Quotes

Most of the quotes come from Perchance Incorrect Quotes Generator.

Ford : Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos–

Doctor : I wrote you a poem.

Ford, already crying: You did ?

Doctor : When I met Stanford, he threatened me with a gun. When I met Stanley, he threatened me with a baseball bat. So, naturally, I assumed that Stanley was the responsible one.

*We see Stan in the background teaching Dipper and Mabel to shoot with a gun*

Doctor : I was wrong.

*Ford joins them with a sci-fi gun and makes a bush explode*

Doctor : There is no responsible one.

Ford : You can't wake up if you never got to sleep.

Ford : Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Doctor !

Doctor : You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

Ford : I’m this close to falling in love with the Doctor.

Stan : Your fingertips are touching.

Ford : Exactly.

Stan : Ford–

Ford, crying : The Doctor used to call me Ford.

Stan : Because it’s your fucking name !

Mabel, hugging Ford : Grunkle Stan, I told you, HE IS SENSITIVE !

Ford : Ah shit, I forgot.

Doctor : Forgot what ?

Ford : How do you expect me to answer that ?

Doctor : Ford, you love me, right ?

Ford : Usually I'd say yes without question but I'm worried about where this is going.

Doctor : What's gone wrong, Stan ?

Stan : Hey ! Just because I’m calling doesn’t mean there’s a crisis.

Doctor : That’s technically true, I suppose. Why are you calling ?

Stan : Well... There’s a crisis.

Stan : How does the Doctor usually get out of these messes ?

Ford : He doesn’t. He just makes a bigger mess that cancels the first one out.

Ford : My only talent is being stress.

Doctor : Don't you mean stressed?

Ford : No.

Ford : The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.

Doctor : Sorry I can’t be emotionally vulnerable with you, it'd ruin the mystery.

Ford, proudly: I slept.

Doctor : Is that so much of a rare thing that you have to say it?

Doctor : Ford is restricted to decaf for the rest of this adventure.

Ford : Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices.

Ford : Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time.

Doctor : I hate you.

Ford : Well, according to this picture I drew of us holding hands, that is untrue.

Ford : Anybody got any crayons so I can color in my Ph. D.?

Stan : You're a lying piece of shit !

Doctor : Oh yeah ? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD !

Ford : I'm leaving and I'm taking the TARDIS with me !

Mabel, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

Mabel : You’re like a thousand years old.

Ford : I'm sixty two !

Mabel : And your boyfriend is like two thousand years old.

Doctor : I’m… Wait, hold up. That’s fair.

Ford : What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don’t get along?

Stan : What did you just say-

Ford : Foetons! *Laughs*

Stan : Wh-what?

Doctor : *Laughs from afar*

Ford : You're ignoring all your problems.

Doctor : I know.

Ford : You also know it's an unhealthy coping mechanism ?

Doctor : I'm ignoring that fact as well.

Ford :

Ford : I'm going to fight the next person who insults the Doctor.

Doctor : I hate myself.

Ford : Alright, square up.

Ford : "You look tired" well, the torment is relentless and the horrors never cease.

Doctor: Alright, so the vampire's gravestone is—

Ford: Cenotaph.

Doctor: What ?

Ford: It's only a gravestone if it marks the location of a body. A monument honouring someone whose body isn't present is a cenotaph.

Doctor: I'm... not sure that's how it works if the body gets up and walks away on its own.

Ford: There's a precedent for gravestones being reclassified as cenotaphs if the body is later removed and reinterred elsewhere. There's no rule that says the body itself can't do the removing.

Doctor: Okay, but the body is very much coming back. That's kind of what we're here to accomplish.

Ford: So it's a temporary cenotaph.

Doctor: And naturally our greatest concern here is avoiding semantic ambiguity.

Ford: Semantic ambiguity is how vampires get you.

[zephyrdevos]

Welcome!

Hello, welcome to Things That Saiki Characters Would Do or TTSCWD. Right now, I have four main series going on:

-Saiki Incorrect Quotes: Exactly what it says on the tin.

-Saiki (Generated) Incorrect Quotes: Also exactly what it says on the tin. I use Perchance Incorrect Quotes generator.

-Saiki Fanmade Quotes: Like the Incorrect Quotes series, but not from any specific work. All original quotes.

-This Must Be The Work Of...: Things I see in real life and on the internet that gives off the vibe of a particular character.

This blog is also my main one, so I'll use it for interactions with other users. (For example, the Camp Half-Blood news blog.)

[tea-cake-and-sarcasm]

Enjoy this assortment of Incorrect Death Note Quotes I generated at 2am

L , Light & Misa: *screaming*

Rem: *runs into the room* What's wrong, Misa?!

L : Wait, why are you asking Misa that when Light and I are also here?

Rem: Because Misa wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.

Misa: I'm cold.

Rem: Here, take my hoodie.

*meanwhile*

Light: I'm cold.

Ryuk: I can't control the weather, Light.

Light: You know, Rem gives Misa flowers everyday, I wish you'd do that too.

Ryuk: Okay.

*Later*

Ryuk: *gives Misa flowers*

Misa: ???

Ryuk: I don't know, I'm confused as well.

Misa: They... well, I wouldn't call it inheritance per se. What do you call it when you kill someone and get their stuff?

Rem: Um, murder???

Ryuk: Adventuring!

Light: Tuesday.

Rem: I give up. I am so tired.

Ryuk: Get the emergency supply!

Light: *carries Misa and places them in front of Rem*

Misa: *smiles*

Rem: AND I AM BACK BABY, LET’S GOOO

Misa: WHO ATE MY BREAD?!

Misa: I'M GOING TO FUCKING K-

Light: I did?

Misa: Kiss you and buy some more, you haven't been eating anything today Light.

Misa: *walks away*

Light:

Light: They're gone Ryuk.

Ryuk, coming out the closet with bread stuffed in their mouth: Twankh uh!

Ryuk: Hey guys! I drew everyones soul!

Light: Why is Misa's a monster?

Misa: Ryuk, you forgot Light's! Its only an empty space!

Ryuk, proudly: Exactly

Misa, staring upwards: So, Light broke up with me… haha…

Ryuk: Why are you looking up?

Misa: I need to cry, but my foundation was 48 dollars!

Matt: So, are you two friends?

Near : Yes.

Mello: No.

Near : ...I'm pretty sure that place is fire-proof, or something.

Mello, grenade in hand: Alright, but is it explosion-proof?

Near : You know what I asked Santa for Christmas this year?

Mello: If you say me, I swear I’ll—

Near : You? What? No, I asked him for that cool Ninjago Lego set we saw in Target!

Naomi, at Beyond’s funeral: I need a moment with them.

Everyone else at the funeral: Of course. *leaves*

Naomi, leaning over Beyond’s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead.

Beyond, sitting up in the coffin: Yeah, no shit.

Generator used: Perchance Incorrect Quotes Generator https://perchance.org/incorrect-quote-generator

[makerofmadness]

NEW AND IMPROVED: incorrect FNAF quotes

Uh just forget all the previous posts I can't remember half the quotes I made and also some of them are outdated lore-wise or headcanon-wise so time for a grand reopening of the series(?). May have done some of these quotes exactly the same in the past but heck if I know-

Contains: Headcanons, spoilers for Ruin, hopefully no big mistakes/words I forgot to replace

Speaking of headcanons: I hc that the "classic fnaf" era night guards are all the fnaf 4 bullies. So Michael, Fritz, Jeremy, and the last one is entirely an OC (whom I had described in my old quotes posts but I've renamed her now 'Cus I accidentally gave her the same name as a BATIM character whoops-): Susanna "Susie" Hudson. She's the FNAF 3 guard.

as was before, I get these quotes from the perchance generator and just insert the characters in manually.

quotes under the cut:

Gregory (seeing that one unexplained room): Is… Is that meant to be on fire? Roxanne Wolf: No… not really. Gregory: Are you going to do something about it? Roxanne Wolf: Hm… nah.

-

Michael Afton: Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices. Michael Afton: Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time.

-

Mangle: You know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That's the sound that my brain makes all the time.

-

Susanna Hudson: I’m genuinely surprised you haven’t gotten arrested, let alone gotten a felony yet.  Fritz Smith: Nat 20 Charisma.  Susanna Hudson: That is NOT how that works- 

-

Golden Freddy: If karma doesn't hit you, I fucking will.  -

Mangle: I don’t care what anyone thinks about me. Withered Foxy: Ok. Mangle: Wait, why such a muted reaction? Did that not sound cool?

-

Mangle: Welcome to Fucking Applebees, do you want apples or bees? Jeremy Fitzgerald: Bees? Mangle: HE HAS SELECTED THE BEES! Jeremy Fitzgerald: Wait- *Toy Chica approaches, shaking a jar of bees menacingly* ('Twas but an allegory for the Bite of 87-)

-

Fritz Smith: I wasn’t that drunk.  Jeremy Fitzgerald: You colored my face with a highlighter because you said I was important.  Fritz Smith: BECAUSE YOU ARE!  -

The Puppet: Bonnie, are you drinking… drinking hydrogen peroxide?! Toy Bonnie: It says H2O2! That means it’s the sequel to water! -

Michael Afton: I'm not a morning person. I'm barely even a person.

-

Circus Baby: Pardon me, but it sounds like you’re questioning my authority! Funtime Foxy: Not at all, Baby. Merely your primitive methods.

-

Crying Child (FNAF 4), after having a nosebleed: Welp. Time to wash the blood off my hands.

-

Gregory: Can we go to a haunted house? Vanessa: What’s wrong with the one we live in? Gregory: Wh-what? Vanessa: Goodnight, Gregory.

-

Toy Bonnie: Here is my wall of inspirational people. Withered Bonnie: Is that a picture of you? Toy Bonnie: Yes, I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.

-

The Mimic: I have one of your friends. Glamrock Freddy: Which one? I have seven. The Mimic: The loud, annoying, rowdy one who never shuts up. Glamrock Freddy: Which one? I have seven. Roxanne Wolf, distantly: HEY!!!

-

Michael Afton: What’s the status up here? Fritz Smith: Fucked up, about to die, Jeremy's a nerd. The usual.

-

Roxanne Wolf: You're pathetic! Gregory: You're pathetic-er! Vanny: You're both losers.

-

*Comments under an image of a really hot knife cutting bread* Molten Freddy: Imagine stabbing someone with this knife. Helpy: It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn't bleed, so it's not very useful. Rockstar Chica: if you want information it is Music Man: why would you STAB a person when you can have TOAST?

-

Ennard: I’ve never been in a snowball fight before. I don’t know the rules. Michael Afton: What? Ennard: Is there a point system, or is it to the death?

-

*Michael Afton rushes by with an armful of water bottles* Funtime Chica: What's going on? Rockstar Foxy: Mike wouldn't drink water. Funtime Chica: …And? Rockstar Foxy: And I asked him how fast he could chug an entire bottle. Michael Afton, loudly: 16 OUNCES IN TEN SECONDS, BITCHES!

-

Roxanne Wolf: Sometimes I talk to myself for no reason. Roxanne Wolf: Me too!

-

Montgomery Gator: Do you think different paints have different tastes? Glamrock Chica: They do. Glamrock Freddy: …Why did you say that with such certainty?

-

William Afton: You might not know this, Henry, but I am a flawed person. Henry Emily: I do know that.

-

William Afton: I could kill you if I wanted. Michael Afton: Yeah? So could any other human being. So could a dog. So could a dedicated duck. You aren't special.

-

Dee Dee: If I can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, I think my body will shut down.

-

Funtime Freddy: I have one brain cell and it bounces around in my skull like a windows screen saver. Funtime Freddy: When it hits a corner perfect, I’m allowed one good idea.

-

Cassie: You're ignoring all your problems. Eclipse: I know. Cassie: You also know it's an unhealthy coping mechanism? Eclipse: I'm ignoring that fact as well. Cassie:

-

Withered Foxy: What do people in relationships even do? Toy Freddy: Care about someone with your whole heart and dedicate your life to making them happy. Withered Foxy: Okay. Didn't ask. Toy Chica: Asks question Toy Chica: "Didn't ask" Withered Foxy: Thanks for the play by play, Captain Fuck.

-

Withered Foxy: BB? What are you doing here? Balloon Boy, standing in the office: My best.

-

The Squad: *walking around the Pizzaplex* Moon: Hey, have any of you guys seen Chica? She's been gone for a while.. Vanessa: Eh, nope. Montgomery Gator: No, I haven’t… Roxanne Wolf: Probably ran off to get pizza or something. Glamrock Chica: Hey. Moon: Ooh, there you are- Vanessa: What the fu- Roxanne Wolf: I- where were you?! Glamrock Chica: Walking right behind you guys.

-

Funtime Freddy: Bon-Bon! Eggs Benedict got that thing on the control panel working! Bon-Bon: Wow! That looks pretty impressive. Funtime Freddy: Yeah! Bon-Bon: Any idea what it does? Funtime Freddy: Not a clue.

-

Gregory: I just learned a way to get stuff on the cheap. Steal it!

-

Cassie: You have to apologize to Roxy! Gregory: Fine! Gregory: Unfuck you, or whatever!

-

Michael Afton: Rockstar Bonnie just said "I have an appetite for destruction" and then he reached down and untied my shoe.

-

Gregory: School sucks. Vanessa: I know, but you have to do it so you can get a job. Gregory: What are jobs like? Vanessa: They suck.

-

The Mimic: I am literally evil incarnate. The Mimic: I’m not actually, I just enjoy being evil. The Mimic: Which I think actually makes it even more evil because I’m making a conscious effort.

-

William Afton: Something’s off. Henry Emily: Maybe you’ve finally developed human emotions and feel bad for hurting people. William Afton: No, but that’s funny.

-

Montgomery Gator: Do you ever think? Because I do not.

-

Gregory: What language do they speak at the center of the earth? Gregory: Core-ean Glamrock Freddy: The center of the earth is arond 5430 degrees Celsius! Nobody is going to live there so they don’t need a language! Vanessa: Core-ean.

-

Toy Bonnie: I don’t know the first thing about clothes. Pretty much all I can do is look at something and tell you if it’s clothes or not. This chair? Not clothes.

-

Roxanne Wolf: How would you like your hair cut? Montgomery Gator: Preferably with scissors, but a sword could be badass.

-

Withered Chica, looking at her reflection: Now, that's rubbish. Who's that supposed to be? Toy Chica: Well, that's you. Withered Chica: Me?! Is that what I look like? Toy Chica You don't know? Withered Chica: Busy day.

-

Withered Bonnie, to Toy Bonnie: All right, let’s tell each other a secret about ourselves. I’m going to go first– I hate you.

-

Jeremy Fitzgerald: We need to distract these guys. Fritz Smith: Leave it to me. Fritz Smith: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss. Toy Freddy & Toy Bonnie: *immediately begin arguing*

-

Susanna Hudson: Coca Cola can remove rust from metal, imagine what it’s doing to your body. Fritz Smith: Pfff, getting rid of the rust, idiot. Susanna Hudson: THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS! Michael Afton: Hmm… I've been drinking soda and my body's rust free… not sure where you're getting your facts from…

-

Circus Baby: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out. Ballora: Fucking Freddy and Foxy were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.

-

Circus Baby: All in all, a 100 successful trip. Funtime Freddy: But we lost Bon-Bon. Circus Baby: All in all, a 100 successful trip!

-

(FNAF humans be like:)

Susanna Hudson: *fills up bottle and drinks from that* Vanessa: *brought 4 bottles of water so this wouldn’t happen* Cassie: *drinks straight from the tap* Crying Child: *dehydrates* Gregory: *drinks from the puddle of water on the floor* Michael Afton: *licks the tap, doesn’t even need a drink*

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Cassie: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I’ll wait. Gregory: You and me! Cassie: *tearing up* Ok.

(we can pretend the ending never happened just a bit-)

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Chica: Why's it called an oven when you of in the cold food and you of out hot eat the food? Freddy: …What???

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Gregory, holding a scooter: Vanessa! Can I go outside and play with this? Vanessa Sure, whatever. I'm not your parent, okay? Gregory, running outside: Thanks Vanessa! Vanessa, running out after him and screaming: NOT ON THE STREET! STAY AWAY!

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Jeremy Fitzgerald: Look, last night was a mistake. Fritz Smith: A sexy mistake. Jeremy Fitzgerald: No, just a regular mistake.

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Mangle: Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, and wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. Toy Freddy: That's deep. Toy Bonnie: That means that ketchup is a smoothie. Toy Freddy: That's deeper. The Puppet: …You guys are idiots.

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RWQFSFASXC: I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

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Withered Chica: You know, when I first met you I thought you were a real bitch. Toy Chica: What changed your mind? Withered Chica: Oh, I still think you're a bitch. I've just grown to like that about you.

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Freddy: Don't break someone's heart, they only have one. Golden Freddy: Break one of their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

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*1987's game of Among Us in real life* Jeremy Fitzgerald: I believe Fritz is innocent, I was with them the whole time. Mr. Afton, what were you doing? William Afton: Oh, I was just murdering… I mean, nothing!

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Toy Bonnie: Is the pink panther a lion? Withered Bonnie: Say that again but slower. Toy Bonnie: I don’t get it. Withered Bonnie: He’s a PANTHER. Toy Bonnie: Is that a type of lion? Withered Bonnie: No, it’s a fucking panther. Toy Bonnie: *googles panther* They aren't pink? Withered Bonnie: AND LIONS ARE?!

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Henry Emily: Do you have any skeletons in your closet? William Afton: Literally or figuratively? Henry Emily: I have to specify?

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Bonnie: Yesterday, I watched Foxy try to eat a decorative rock from the night guard's potted plant. The Puppet caught him, and told him that he can't eat rocks. Chica started whining something about no food being in the house before walking away.

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Susanna Hudson: I spy with my little eye something that begins with the letter “s”. Michael Afton: *looks over at Fritz Smith and Jeremy Fitzgerald*  Michael Afton: Is it “sexual tension”?

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Gregory, after acquiring the Fazer-blaster: The ‘how the fucks’ and 'why are you so dumbs’ don’t matter. All that matters is that I have a new gun.

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*after discussing the plan to burn down Fazbear's Fright* Susanna Hudson: Does anyone have any questions? Jeremy Fitzgerald: Is this legal? Susanna Hudson: Does anyone have any relevant questions?

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Dee Dee: Don’t worry, I have a permit. Old Man Consequences: …This just says “I can do what I want”.

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Fritz Smith: You look good in that hoodie. Jeremy Fitzgerald: You know where else I'd look good? Fritz Smith, zero hesitation: My bed. Jeremy Fitzgerald, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?

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Helpi: Fun Fact! The average person will walk by 36 murderers in their lifetime. Cassie: I like how this is a "fun" fact. MXES: It's fun because they didn't decide to murder you.

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Susanna Hudson: Just be careful, Mike! Michael Afton: heading out the door I'm always careful, Susie! Michael Afton: It's everything around me that's careless.

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The Puppet: We are not mad. We are just disappointed. Golden Freddy: No, we are mad. The Puppet: Yes. We are. We are livid. But we are going to let this one slide. Golden Freddy: No, we’re not! The Puppet: I am not a mind reader, Cassidy!

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Cassie: Do you take constructive criticism? Helpi: No, only cash or credit.

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Roxanne Wolf: I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway. Gregory: Roxanne Wolf: Vroom vroom, come out already.

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Phone Guy: *Answers phone* Hello? Fritz Smith: It's Fritz Smith. Phone Guy: What did he do this time? Fritz Smith: No, it's me, phone guy. It's actually me. Phone Guy: What did you do this time?

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Vanessa: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.

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Golden Freddy, referring to the Fazbear Gang(tm): Those guys are dorks. The Puppet: Yes, but they’re my dorks.

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Glamrock Chica: Are you busy? Montgomery Gator: No. Glamrock Chica: Want to do something? Montgomery Gator: Why would you try to ruin this for me?

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Susanna Hudson: Go to hell! Springtrap: Oh! I’ve been there, thank you. I found it quite lovely.

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Elizabeth Afton: When was the last time you cried? Crying Child: Uh 15 minutes ago, why?? Elizabeth Afton: really? That recent? Crying Child: Yeah *voice crack* is that an issue? starts crying again

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JJ: So I can either do something dumb that could very well get me injured or I can listen to the Puppet and not do the thing, JJ: Well there’s a clear right answer here. JJ: *proceeds to throw five packs of mentos into a barrel full of diet coke*

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Ennard: You have an impressive pain tolerance. Michael Afton: Thanks, it's the trauma.

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Sun, dashing into the room: WHY AREN’T THE DISHES IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER?! Vanessa: …What does that even mean?!

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Susanna Hudson, toward Michael Afton: Wow, left-handed AND British? You really are an illusion.

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Freddy: We’re kind of missing something guys. Bonnie: Cohesion? Chica: Teamwork? Foxy: A general sense of what we’re doing? Golden Freddy: And the Puppet is not here. Chica: Oh, and that, yeah.

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Michael Afton: Ennard, can you help me? All of my clothes keep disappearing for some reason. Ennard, wearing a hoodie that's 5 times bigger than their size: Spooky.

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Roxanne Wolf: Tired of just deserving better. Gonna start taking it by force.

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Scraptrap: *dies* Helpy: Timer starts now! When is he coming back? I say two months! Music Man: Bullshit. One month. Lefty: Nah, half a month. Rockstar Foxy, sobbing: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? SOMEONE JUST DIED! Mr. Hippo, scratching chin in thought: One week.

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Michael Afton: I’ve been sleeping so little the past few nights that when I go to the alarm app, I click on the “power nap” button. I don’t set up alarms, I set up timers, Helpy.

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Roxanne Wolf: Let’s not Gregory this into a worse situation than it already is. Gregory: Did you just use my name as a verb?

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Scrap Baby: Tommorrow's garbage day. Molten Freddy: I can't believe they made a whole day dedicated to you.

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Glamrock Freddy: *lifting weights* Montgomery Gator: Wow… He's so intense! Glamrock Chica: I wonder what drives him. Glamrock Freddy, internally: (Oh I am going to be SO good at giving hugs.)

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Fritz Smith: The greatest trick the devil ever played was getting me banned from an all you can eat pizza buffet. Jeremy Fitzgerald: Why’d you get banned? Fritz Smith: Touched the bear. Jeremy Fitzgerald: … What bear? Fritz Smith: Feddy Fazbear