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prettieinpink · 10 days ago

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2024 WRAPPED⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

₊˚⊹♡TOP LESSONS LEARNT

Missing out gives you progress on your goals. So many times this year, I didn’t do things that I usually would’ve loved to do to make and maintain progress on my

goals. Simple things like cancelling plans, buying certain things and any other short-term pleasures. Allowing myself to overcome FOMO, and in return, I saw great progress in my goals.

People hating you has nothing to do with you. I dislike a lot of things because it's my personal preference. Someone who decides to hate you is a matter of their preference. However, if they choose to show that hatred to you, it's a matter of projection. People will project onto you as a way to cope with their own life, cause they can’t deal with their own.

Stop letting everything control you. Truly, you’re held back from nothing in life. Your circumstances, identity, environment and more can only hold you back so far. At one point, you’ve gotta start acting and stop blaming everything around you on why you can’t. This one… is still in progress for me. I do feel like my parents are a major factor in me being held back, but deeper down, I also feel that it's an excuse to not work up to my potential.

Trying to fit in is fruitless. I wear and listen to what I want. I decide what kind of content I want to consume, and what food I want to eat. This generation is notorious for tearing down anyone who doesn’t fit in a cookie cutter. Allowing your authenticity to shine through, will guide those who are meant for you, to you!

All problems are temporary. This one does not apply to everything, but it applies to a lot of things. Your issues will not last forever, so don’t let it leave a permanent mark on you. Don’t let your situation deter you from your goals.

₊˚⊹♡ACHIEVEMENTS

It's small, but I feel like I’ve created my room to be fully intentional for me. While it still can be improved, my room is much better in terms of clutter and decor compared to 2023.

Consistent practicing soft social skills like keeping up small chats, giving compliments and handling disagreements gracefully. I ended the year with all B’s! Last semester was a bit of a flunk for me, but I managed to pull it up for the end of the year.

Saved like 500$ for purchasing things off my wishlist.

Read like 12ish books for 2024. Would’ve loved to read more, but I was in a reading slump and also didn’t have enough time to go out to my local library to borrow any books.

₊˚⊹♡HABITS / RITUALS

In bed by 9 pm, up by 6 am. Sleeping early has made me feel a lot more energised in the mornings, and I find that it's easier to get out of bed and continue with my routine. The later I slept will more I felt sluggish for the next day + waking up earlier hay motivated me to stay on top of my routines.

Daily walks after school. It gets my steps in, but it's a nice way to debrief after school and regather myself before heading straight into studying. I sometimes do walk home, and it's great to plug in my earphones and just not think.

Journaling. I preach it for a reason, as journaling helps plenty. It can help you to shift your mindset beliefs, identify self-sabotaging behaviours, allow us to truly reflect on who we are and see progress each day in our lives.

Lighting candles more frequently. It's such a little habit, but it brings me so much joy. Usually, they’re just collecting dust as decor however when I started to use them, I loved the whole experience. The smell and the small warmth that it brings are just perfect for the ambience.

Curating my social media. I have an absolute maximum of 5 hours per day, but I still want those 5 hours to count for something. I’ve redownloaded TikTok earlier this year, and I think it’s a great platform for looking for advice and inspiration. Creating a feed that works for you instead of the other way around, will definitely change how it influences you.

Having alone time in the morning and at night. I need this time to myself to slow myself down and regather my thoughts and it's just what I look forward to, to get through the day. I usually do whatever I like in this time slot, on the condition that I am completely by myself, free from any tasks or distractions.

Cleaning regularly. When I did a deep clean last year, it would just be vacuuming my room and wiping down all visible surfaces. That is good, but there’s a lot more to clean than you realise. One major thing that we forget to clean (yet is probably the dirtiest) is our devices. Wipe down all screens every single day!

₊˚⊹♡BEAUTY / FASHION TIPS

Turn down the toilet seat when you flush. The amount of times I’ve been in public toilets and flushed with the lid up is outrageous, and I just can’t believe that last year I didn’t even consider the bacteria that would fly up on my clothes or even my face. Not a major skincare tip, however, er I think this would affect it.

Know your undertone. I would only use undertones to know what kind of jewellery fits me, but it goes way beyond that. Before I start, I would like to say, don’t buy any more clothes or makeup just because they don’t fit your undertone. If you like your confidence will override any undertone clash. I used to walk around with really yellow makeup, and the difference when I got a foundation that had more of a golden undertone was like day and night. The same applies to your clothes. Warmer clothes will complement me, becausI’m’m warm-toned. So, I tend to stay away from cooler tones. I don’t use colour seasons, Is anyone wondering?

Stick to a palette that you like. Last year, I wasted so much money trying to experiment with new colours in my clothes and makeup, just to end up hating it. It’s also a bad consumerist habit, to buy things for your fantasy self. So today, I only buy clothes it's the colours I like and I only purchase makeup if its shades fit me. I’m not saying buy anything new, but keep it to a minimum to reduce waste and save your money for the things that you like.

Avoid fashion inspiration with faces. Highly attractive people can pull off anything, quite literally. Their face can influence subconsciously them ly to love the outfit, even if the outfit is ‘bad’. So, when saving pictures from Pinterest, TikTok or magazines, avoid any outfits that show their face. I said avoid it as sometimes you just really like an outfit and you know it's nothing to do with their face, which is okay.

₊˚⊹♡YOUTUBERS

JIlLZ GUERIN - Focuses on feminine energy, lifestyle and intellectual habits. I recommend her as many of her videos are new and fresh perspectives.

SANDY DIANA BANG - Mostly productive vlogs that inspire and motivate, with a sprinkle of wellness, health and beauty content. Her channel and vibes are so aesthetic too!

ROSIE GRAHAM & LIDIA MERA - Both are fitness influencers that focus on pilates. Their workouts are so good that they always leave me sweating and strained (which is good!! lmao). If one of your goals for 2025 was to start working out, I would use their videos.

THANK YOU BUBU - Another fitness channel that is one of my time faves, and they have a variety of exercises that target abs, glutes, legs and arms. Another channel I would recommend if I was starting to exercise again.

MINA LE - She does research and creates video essays on various topics, which many videos I feel are relevant in current times. She’s great if you want to expand and explore new perspectives.

HALIEY GAMBA - She’s for a more matured audience, but she’s such a hidden gem. All of her advice ly new things, not just the same things that have been rinsed and repeated.

KELLY GOOCH - She’s a beauYouTuberber who mainly discusses the beauty industry and its products while recommending some. She’s one of the only beauty influencers who I will listen to, as I feel like her opinions aren’t constantly swayed by sponsorships or promotions. Even then I would still take any beauty opinions and advice with two cents.

ELLE CHU - A smaller, but underrated beauty influencer. She discusses a lot of beauty products whether they’re worth it, overhyped or overpriced. She does sometimes talk about the beauty industry, but those videos are infrequent.

₊˚⊹♡BOOKS

(I have read all of them libby- a reading app).

NJUTA by NIKI BRANTMARK. All about the Swedish art of enjoying the present. If you feel like you have a simple and unexciting life, I recommend you read this.

SPARK JOY by Marie Kondo. A popular decluttering book that uses the KonMari method that emphasises items that you want to keep, instead of focusing on what you want to get rid of.

THE HEALTHY MIND TOOLKIT by Dr Alice Boyes. This is the ultimate guide of mindset shifts to target self-sabotaging or destructive beliefs and gives strategies to overcome them.

MINDFULLNESS ON THE GO by Jan Chozen Bays. A collection of little mindfulness practices you can do almost anywhere, almost anytime.

MY WISHES FOR 2025

To join any club at this point. It's hard for me to do anything outside of the house with my parents' schedules, and I do feel like it has eaten at my social life and the experiences, lessons etc I would gain. At first, I originally wanted to join so it's something I could put on my university application, however, I’m entering year 10 with absolutely no extracurriculars since year 7. (for anyone not down under, I'm talking about high school grades.)

Expanding my social circle. I feel like I don’t have a secondary community outside of school, and it's definitely what can amplify my slumps or depression without having that one person I can talk to freely, without the worry of school. I feel like I’m making no sense here.

Moving anywhere. I want to move schools, cities, countries, or whatever. Being in the same school since year 2 (elementary) has taken a toll on me.

A million dollars. Very unrealistic, but I still want it! I feel like money is the only thing that can actively change my life at this point.

thats it for this post! I encourage anyone else to do their own wrapped and tag me!

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imaginespazzi · 4 months ago

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Part 9: These Moments Of Ours

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12

Just crash, it's our time now (to make this work second time around)

(In which a people-pleasing author gives the people what they've been begging for)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Fluff with a little bit Angst

Words: 7.2K Words

TW: Explicit Sexual Content, Swearing

A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 Thank you for being oh so patient with me because I know I really made y'all wait and hopefully it'll be worth the wait. I'm gonna keep this pretty short and sweet today so onto the usual. Please keep sending me your thoughts and theories; they're the best motivation a girl could ask for. I did edit but feel free to point out the inevitable typos/mistakes. As always, let me know what you liked, what you disliked and what you'd like to see going forward. Have a lovely rest of your week my loves :)

April 2030

UConn 84 Notre Dame 82

The blue and white section of the Moda Center crowd erupts in cheers as the final buzzer rings through the stadium. Confetti rains down on the court as the UConn Huskies are crowned national champions once again. Paige’s scream is drowned out by KK’s louder whoop as the two of them excitedly wrap their arms around each other, jumping up and down like they’re college students all over again.

“Oh okay, love the inclusion,” Ice rolls her eyes but it morphs into a grin as her former teammates pull her into their group hug, all three of them making a ruckus that’s drowned out by the crowd around them roaring in excitement.

“Can y’all be a little quieter. I’m tryna mourn my Irish in peace,” Sonia says lousily, glaring at them in irritation as she fiddles with her clover bracelet.

“Oh cheer up Citron,” Paige teases her Wings teammate, “at least y’all finally made it back to the Final Four.”

“Fuck all the way off Bueckers-”

“GO HUSKIES,” a loud voice interrupts Sonia’s grumbling as Jana rushes into their section, the Valkyries center smiling vibrantly as she crashes into her old friends, “BLEED BLUE BABY!”

“Bleed blue!” the three UConn faithful chorus back as Sonia glumly saunters over to Maddy Westbeld who had come over with Jana, the two Fighting Irish alum sharing a commiserating hug.

“This is why everyone finds you Huskies insufferable,” Maddy says with disgust.

“Because we just keep winning? There, there little leprechauns,” Ice taunts, light-heartedly patting Maddy and Sonia’s heads as both of them bristle and flash the Wings forward with a synchronized middle finger, “I’m sure you’ll catch up to us never.”

Paige is about to join in on the ribbing when KK turns to Jana with a frown, “where’s Azzi? I thought all of y’all came together.”

She shouldn’t care this much anymore. It’s been five years and Paige thinks it’s a little ridiculous how quickly her ears perks up at the mention of her girlfriend, thinks it’s a little pathetic how she leans in closer to Jana, embarrassingly eager to hear the answer to KK’s question.

“We did. She wanted to go call her parents to check on Stephie,” Jana explains.

KK rolls her eyes, her face as disappointed as Paige feels, “of course she did.”

“What’s that supposed to mean,” Jana narrows her eyes at the shorter woman, a protective edge to her tone.

“It means that this avoidance bullshit Azzi’s on is pretty fucking tired,” KK sneers.

“KK bro chill,” Ice steps in immediately, looking worriedly between her two friends as Jana’s eyes flash with fire.

“She’s checking on her daughter KK. She’s not trying to avoid anything,” Jana’s quietness is in stark contrast with the loud cheers around them and Paige swallows the guilt clawing at her throat. This is their fault. Her and Azzi’s. They’d caused an earthquake in their own lives and the aftershocks had rippled throughout their friends and families, creating rubble where there had once been solid foundations.

KK laughs bitterly, “she had to check on her daughter right now? The game ended like three fucking seconds ago and she couldn’t just wait?”

“You’re being unfair.”

“Why are you always defending her?”

“Because she’s my teammate and it’s not all her fault,” Jana spits out, eyes briefly darting towards Paige who digs her fingernails into her palm, “it’s not her fault that she doesn’t always feel welcome around certain people.”

“And how about the rest of us people who’d really like to see her once in a while?” hurt tinges in KK’s words, “she can’t put the other shit aside for one fucking second?”

Jana opens her mouth, ready to defend her Azzi again but before she can speak, a calm voice cuts in, “hi guys.”

Goosebumps rush up Paige’s arms as she takes in the sight of the ex-girlfriend. There’s nothing extravagant to Azzi’s outfit, a simple UConn sweatshirt paired with black ripped jeans and minimal jewelry but she looks as radiant as always. There’s an awkward tension in the air as Azzi warily takes in the way KK and Jana are still glaring at each other. Her eyes accidentally lock with Paige and the blonde can see the same guilt of this is our collateral damage reflected back in those dark brown orbs.

“Hi Azzi,” Ice is the first one to break the silence, wrapping the Valkyries shooting guard in a hug, “how’s Stephanie?”

Paige watches as Azzi’s eyes light up at the mention of her daughter's name, all of her previous apprehension gone as she begins to gush about the little girl, “she’s good. Somehow manipulated my dad into letting her stay up past her bedtime but good. She’s only two years old but already such a damn menace,” the brunette’s gaze wanders over to KK, “I guess that was to be expected huh? Any child of mine was bound to be one.”

KK cracks a half smile, bumping her shoulder against Jana’s as a truce sign, “you call it being menace, we call it being smart as hell right El Alfy?”

“Dude that’s what I tell her every time,” Jana immediately accepts the white flag, slinging an arm around the shorter woman, “Azzi just has genius children. Me, you, Nés and now Stephie.”

Ice gawks at the two of them, “seriously?”

“Well you see Ice, statistically she can’t have all genius children. Someone needed to be average,” KK mocks, high-fiving a giggling Jana.

“Are y’all seeing this bullying?” Ice rounds on Paige and Azzi, hands on her hips with dramatically wide eyes, “are y’all really gonna let them bully your favorite child like this?”

“We don’t have favorites,” Paige and Azzi say at the same, pausing abruptly at the resurgence of familiar synchronicity between them. They glance briefly at each other, shuffling nervously, before immediately looking away.

“I hate all of y’all,” Ice pouts, petulantly folding her arms against her chest.

“Aw cheer up Icey,” Jana pats the top of Ice’s head, “how about a round of shots at the hotel bar to cheer you up?” she turns to Maddy and Sonia, who’d been having their own conversation, with a devilish grin, “losing team’s paying.”

“Y’all are sore winners,” Maddy huffs.

Paige’s eyes dart towards Azzi, waiting for the younger woman to come up with a shallow excuse like she usually does to get out of having to spend more time with the blonde than necessary. And she knows that it’s unfair of her, knows that it’s only natural for someone to actively avoid being stuck in the same place as their past -thinks only a fool like her could want to be in their ex’s presence- but every time Azzi escapes being around her, Paige can’t help the disappointment that curls in her stomach.

“Y’all coming,” KK asks, a slight edge to her voice as she twists to look at Paige and Azzi.

“Of course,” Paige grins, locking arms with Sonia who immediately groans, “I’m not passing up free drinks. Especially not when the Irish are paying.”

“Az?” KK’s eyes are hopeful.

Azzi bites her lip and Paige can almost see the cogs turning in her brain before she schools her features into a soft smile, “yeah. I’ll come.”

***

Paige isn’t sure how it happens. Well actually, that’s not quite right. She definitely has an idea of how it happened. She’s not quite sure when KK, Ice and Jana had had time to devise the plan but she’s certain that’s how it happened. Because really, there’s no other reasonable explanation for how she and Azzi have ended up being the only two people, from their previous party of seven, that are still sitting at the bar. Maddy and Sonia had left first, muttering under their breaths about not wanting to be around insufferable winners. Ice had been the next to leave, making up an excuse about how she wanted to call her boyfriend. Then Jana had apparently needed the bathroom. When she hadn’t returned in a solid 15 minutes, it was KK’s turn. A barely disguised grin and a hard-to-believe lie of I think Jana got lost, I should go help her on her lips as she’d excused herself to the sound of Paige and Azzi’s protests.

The two of them sit in awkward silence for a bit until Azzi suddenly bursts out laughing, the corner of her eyes crinkling. Paige regards her with amusement, trying to ignore the way the sound of the younger woman laughing feels like hearing her favorite song come on in the car on a warm summer road trip.

“You’re a little young to be going crazy,” she remarks.

“Shut up,” Azzi rolls her eyes, lightly punching Paige’s shoulder, “it’s just- they’re still all really shitty liars.”

Paige laughs, “and they still come up with the dumbest plans.”

“Do you remember when they locked us in the Werth changing rooms when we had that stupid fight-”

“Hey,” Paige interrupts indignantly, “it wasn’t stupid-”

“It was definitely stupid-”

“You asked Carol to drive you to rehab instead of me.”

“Because you had practice at the same time.”

“I wouldn’t have minded being five minutes late to practice.”

Azzi snorts, “more like half an hour and you sure as shit wouldn’t have been fine when coach would have yelled at you and made you run suicides after.”

“I wouldn’t have cared,” Paige shrugs, “running suicides would have been worth it for an extra hour with you.”

Azzi stares at her, mouth opening and closing several times before she finally looks away, a soft sigh falling from her lips, “you’re doing it again.”

“I’m not doing anything,” Paige says, unable to keep the defensiveness from creeping into her words.

“You are,” Azzi slips off the barstool, “you are and you don’t even know it.”

“Azzi,” Paige curls her hand around the other woman’s bicep, pulling her in to stop her from leaving and it’s a bad idea because now they’re too close and her heartbeat quickens immediately at the fact that if she leaned in just a little bit more, there would be no more space left between them, “what am I doing?”

“You’re- you-” Azzi stutters, gulping as her eyes briefly flicker down to Paige’s lips, “you’re making me feel.”

“Making you feel what?” Paige presses.

For a second, Paige thinks Azzi might just give in to her heart, might just tell the truth but then something hardens in her face, and the next word that slips out of her mouth has both of them going rigid, “how’s your wife Paige?”

“Az-”

“I should go to bed,” Azzi says firmly, trying to wriggle out of Paige’s tightening grip.

“Azzi-”

“I have an early flight and I should probably wake up a little earlier than I normally would cause you know Jana’s gonna need me to wake her up,” Azzi rambles still trying to twist her arm out of Paige’s hold.

“Hold on-”

“Can you just let go of me-”

“I’m trying to tell-”

“I really need to get to bed-’

“Az-”

“I have to go-”

“Azzi I’m getting a divorce,” Paige bursts out; the admission feels light a heavy weight off her chest.

Azzi stops fighting against the blonde’s grip, “oh.”

“We’ve- um-” Paige’s throat feels dry as Azzi’s eyes continue to bore into her, “we’ve been separated for a while and I finally-uh- finally filed the papers a little while ago. So um- to your question- I uh- I don’t know how she is because I- I don’t- there uh- there isn’t- there isn’t a wife.”

There’s silence for a bit as Azzi’s head bops up and down as she processes Paige’s revelation, “I’m um-” she clears her throat, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’s not like it’s your fault,” and that’s not completely true -not when Olivia had repeatedly thrown the past back in Paige’s face- but she doesn’t think Azzi needs to know that, doesn’t want the younger woman to feel guilty for things beyond her control. She’s confused when Azzi flinches, like a memory has just pinched her nerves.

“Right,” Azzi bites, “I really should- I really should be going to bed.”

Something gloomy settles across Paige’s heart as she nods at the brunette’s words, slipping out of her own chair as they start walking towards the elevator in the lobby. She feels antsy, like she’s leaving something incomplete. The silence rings loud between them as they wait for the elevator doors to open, keeping as much distance as they can from each other. It feels like ages before the familiar ding! finally rings out around them. Despite the abundance of room inside, the doorway into the elevator is rather condensed and their shoulders brush against each other as they make their way inside. Audible sighs involuntarily roll off of their tongues at the brief second of contact as they both shiver from each other’s familiar touch. There’s enough space now that they could easily move away -they probably should move away- but instead they stay pressed together. The sound of their uneven breathing fills the elevator as the doors close in front of them.

“I’m uh- I’m on the third floor,” Azzi says as she presses the #3 button, “you?”

“Fifth,” Paige breathes out, eyes fixated on the goosebumps that appear on the back of Azzi’s neck as her hands shake while pushing the #5 button.

The elevator jolts up and Paige immediately reaches for Azzi’s hips to steady her, eliciting a small gasp from the other woman. She waits for Azzi to move away but the brunette stays put and Paige doesn’t move her hands.

The doors open on the third floor. Both of them suck in a sharp breath.

Azzi doesn’t get out.

***

Paige wakes up to the dreadful sound of her alarm clock blaring around her room. It takes a second before the memories of last night start pounding against her skull. Her body aches in the best way possible. The room is still dark -just like it had been last night- and she closes her eyes, trying to revisit the feeling of Azzi’s lips pressed against her forehead, right before the younger woman -with her hair disheveled and bitemarks littered across her jawline- had left Paige’s room.

Paige hadn’t asked Azzi to stay. She wonders if she should have; wonders if Azzi would have agreed if she’d asked. But she hadn’t asked and Azzi hadn’t stayed. She regrets it a little bit. She wonders if Azzi does too. And Paige thinks that maybe that’s just the melancholic truth about their tragic story.

Maybe they’re destined to always regret.

***

April 2033

Paige thinks Azzi’s guest room air conditioning must be broken or something. There’s no other explanation for why, despite having kicked off every single blanket, she feels like she’s tossing and turning in red hot lava. She feels restless, like she has a purpose that she’s leaving unfulfilled. All the different scenes from tonight are rushing through her head, but her heart keeps stuttering on the last one; an image of the way Azzi had looked at her before they’d kissed good night.

Azzi had asked her to stay even if she’d hidden it under a lame disguise of it being too late and Paige being too angry to drive home alone. And it’s not completely false that her blood is still boiling, their little encounter with fucking asshole still dangerously lingering in her mind as she thinks of the 101 ways she would have liked to murder him. But they both know that the minute Azzi had run her hand down Paige’s back, the moment she’d called her baby, the moment she’d given her the reassurance she was too scared to ask for but needed desperately, Paige had felt all the anger in her body replaced by that familiar sense of calm only Azzi had ever been able to provide.

And after that had been decided, they’d both hesitated in the hallway, looking back and forth between Azzi’s master bedroom and the guestroom. Paige doesn’t know what had possessed her, why she’d decided tonight of all nights to play this false chivalrous rule-abiding good girl persona when it was the last thing she wanted to do. Because the last couple of weeks had been hell. The stupid rules had been hell. Going slow had been hell. Having to pull away from Azzi and walk out the door every night when all she wanted to was to lose herself in the brunette’s arms had been hell. But she’d done it for Azzi. She’d done it because there isn’t a thing in the world that she wouldn’t do for Azzi. Except tonight had been different. There had been that look on Azzi’s face -the way the younger woman had bitten her lips, the way her eyes had been hooded over, the way her cheeks had been flushed as her gaze roamed over Paige’s body- and it had morphed into one of pure disappointment when Paige had said she’d take the guestroom.

You’re a fucking idiot Paige Bueckers, she thinks to herself as she bolts right up, the image finally burning a little too bright behind her eyelids to continue this façade of trying to sleep. Perhaps it’s pointless. It’s late and Azzi loves her sleep; there’s no way she’s awake. But Paige slides out of bed anyways, breathing unevenly as she turns on the nightlight and walks towards her door. She doesn’t have a plan, doesn’t have any idea what she’d even say if Azzi is, by some miracle of god, even awake. But fuck it, Paige needs to see this through. She pauses at the door, hands wrapping around the cold handle as she gives herself one more chance to back out. Really, she doesn’t even know why she’s so nervous. It’s Azzi. Her Azzi.

Paige twists the handle to tug the door open.

Azzi’s eyes widen in surprise, her fisted hand -that had clearly been raised to knock on the mahogany door- freezing in place as she swallows and Paige is mesmerized by the way it highlights the veins in her neck. Her eyes move downwards, fixating on where Azzi’s oversized t-shirt hangs looser on one-side, leaving her right shoulder and collarbone on display. The shirt right above her thighs, giving Paige the perfect display of Azzi’s toned long legs looming beneath and the blonde gulps at the sight.

“Hi,” Azzi speaks first, the low graveliness in her tone causing a coil of want to wrap itself around Paige’s stomach.

“Hey,” Paige whispers back, “couldn’t sleep?”

Azzi bites her lip, “no- I just uh-, people always say- like when Jana sleeps over or something- she always says that- that the guest room is um- it’s too cold so I just- I wanted to make sure- wanted to ask-” she clears her throat, taking a step forward as she look earnestly at Paige, “are you cold?”

“So cold,” Paige confirms, moving closer to Azzi so their chests are almost touching.

“You could um-” Azzi licks her teeth, “you could stay in Stephie’s room-”

“I could?” Paige asks, pressing herself flush against the younger woman, hands wrapping around her waist. There’s barely space for air between them but she wants to get closer, wants to stitch herself into Azzi’s skin and keep them intertwined forever.

“You could but,” Azzi’s hand trails Paige’s biceps, causing the blonde to shiver, before finally interlocking around her neck, “I think- I think her bed might be a little small for you.”

“Way too small,” Paige breathes against Azzi’s skin as she nips at the brunette’s jawline, before ghosting her lips against her neck, leaving a trail of mine mine mine down her throat.

“Paige,” Azzi’s voice is breathless as she tilts her head, hissing when Paige bites harshly right above her collarbone, immediately soothing it with her tongue, “I think- I think-fuck” she cuts herself with a moan as Paige turns them around, maneuvering them back towards the bed that suddenly looks far more inviting then it had before, “I just think-”

“You think too much,” Paige says softly, finally removing her lips from Azzi’s skin -she misses the taste of it immediately- so she can smile teasingly at the brunette.

“Do I?” Azzi grins dopily.

Paige rolls her eyes, continuing to walk them backwards, “way, way too much.”

They’re forced to a halt when the back of Azzi’s thighs collide against the backframe of the bed. It feels like a turning point, like they could unlock a new chapter or keep themselves on the one they’re already on. And while Paige would really to skip forward, she’ll be okay with whatever happens next as long as the story being written is still theirs, still about her and Azzi.

“Paige,” Azzi whispers again -and Paige loves the way Azzi’s lips curl around the syllable of her name- as she bunches the blonde’s shirt in her hands, “make me stop thinking.”

“Whatever you want baby,” Paige promises before they both go tumbling into the mattress, their lips colliding in a heated kiss. It feels like they’re trying to meld themselves into each other, like their bodies are carving out an indent of you and i just always feel right against the bedsheets.

“I want this off,” Azzi breathes out between kisses, hands lifting the edge of Paige’s shirt, “off, off, off.”

“So bossy,” Paige smirks, leaning up off of Azzi to take off her shirt in a tantalizingly slow manner, enjoying the way the brunette’s eyes darken as they glide across her abs first and then her breasts, “enjoying the sho- fuck Az.”

The words are stolen from her mouth as Azzi swirls her tongue around one erect nipple, her hands cupping Paige’s ass to balance the blonde on top of her. She’s always known exactly how to get Paige to shut the fuck up. Paige groans as Azzi flips them over, shifting herself to press her thigh in between Paige’s legs and the blonde can’t help but grind up against it, desperate for some much needed friction, as Azzi sucks a possessive bruise against her jaw.

“Missed this,” Azzi whispers, as she kisses down Paige’s neck, “and this,” a kiss pressed against her collarbone, “and these,” Azzi presses her lips softly to each breast, “and this,” against Paige’s stomach, “and these,” two featherlight kisses are peppered against her hip bones, “and I really missed these.”

“Azzi,” Paige moans as the brunette’s lips glide across the inside of her thighs, taking her sweet time marking only i could ever make you feel like this against every inch of Paige’s skin.

Azzi stops right above the edge of Paige’s boxers before slowly peeling them off as sparkling brown eyes staring up at her with a myriad of unspoken emotions that Paige could spend a lifetime trying to memorize, “missed all of this. Missed everything about you. Missed you so much baby.”

Vulnerability echoes in Azzi’s voice as she slowly moves herself back up, hands coming to cup Paige’s face as they press their foreheads together. And it’s not like she hadn’t known that Azzi must have missed her in these last couple of years. But there’s a part of Paige that had thought that there was no way Azzi could have missed her as much as she missed Azzi. Because missing Azzi had felt all consuming, like there was a constant noose around her neck that got tighter and tighter with every day that passed by. But there’s something about the way the words reverberate around the room, something about the way Azzi looks like she can finally breathe again after saying it out loud that it hits Paige; it hits her that they’ve both been suffocating without each other.

“I missed you too,” she breathes out, tears pooling at the edge of her eyes, “missed you so fucking much Azzi.”

“Yeah?” Azzi whispers, lips catching the lone tear that falls from Paige’s eyes, “how much?”

Paige shudders as Azzi’s fingers teasingly ghost over her wet folds, “s-so much. Azzi please. Need it so bad. Need you so bad.”

“Whatever you want baby,” Azzi repeats Paige’s own words back to her before she finally gives her what she’s desperately been craving, two fingers rhythmically pumping in and out of her pussy as her thumb rubs circles against Paige’s clit.

“Fuck, fuck, just like that-” a litany of curses waterfall from Paige’s lips as she bucks her hips up against Azzi’s hand, “fuck please.”

“Please what?” Azzi asks coyly, fingers moving at a faster face as she hides a grin against Paige’s neck, “gotta tell me what you want baby.”

“W-want your mouth please- please Azzi-baby please,” Paige begs, writhing underneath her when Azzi immediately complies, lips attaching to her clit as she adds another finger, “fuck Azzi- I’m so close.”

“I know baby,” the words vibrate against Paige’s core, sending another bout of ecstasy shooting up her spine as she feels that familiar buildup in her stomach.

“Azz I’m gonna-”

“I know. Let go baby. I’ve got you. I’m gonna catch you I promise,” Azzi whispers.

And it’s those words, that promise, that sends Paige over the edge, a cry of Azzi’s name falling from her lips. Because she knows Azzi means them for a lot more than just this moment, that those words -the promise- are born out of something deeper than lust. And maybe neither of them are quite ready to acknowledge that yet, not ready to make vows that teeter dangerously close to the ones they watched themselves break in the past, but it lingers between them, like a string made of we’ve always been inevitable connecting their hearts to each other.

Azzi slowly eases her fingers out of Paige, pressing open-mouthed kisses against the older woman’s stomach as she recovers from her high, before looking up at her with a smirk. Never breaking eye contact, Azzi slips her fingers into her own mouth, leisurely sucking at them as she watches Paige’s face contort with desire.

“Was I good?” she asks teasingly and Paige growls.

“How have you gotten better at that? Actually you know what never mind,” Paige shakes her head, “I don’t want to know that.”

Azzi laughs, hiding her face against Paige’s neck, “only that good for you.”

“Good,” Paige tightens her arms around the woman on top of her and then scrunches her face as she feels the material of Azzi’s shirt itch against her wrists, “well this is unfair.”

“What is?” Azzi hum backs.

“I’m fully fucking naked and you haven’t taken a single thing off,” Paige grumbles as she coaxes Azzi’s face out of her neck, hands gripping the edge of her shit, “take this off.”

Azzi stills, her previous serene expression replaced by something more nervous, as she lifts herself up so she’s straddling the older woman’s hips, “Paige-”

“What’s wrong?” Paige’s senses are on high alert immediately as she rises up herself, maneuvering them so Azzi’s fully on her lap.

“I just-,” Azzi draws in a deep breath, looking downwards as she chews her lips.

“Hey,” Paige whispers, lifting the younger woman’s chin back up before pressing their foreheads together, “talk to me baby.”

“Can we just-” Azzi plays with the end of Paige’s hair, “can we maybe just-” she cocks her head towards the nightlight on the desk, “do you think we could turn the light off?”

“What?” Paige asks confusedly, “Azzi I’ve seen you naked-”

“Not since- not since I had Stephie,” Azzi interrupts, cowering under Paige’s intense stare, “the lights- the lights were off that one time and the other time I don't think- I don’t think we were sober enough for me to care or for you to remember so can we just-”

“Azzi,” Paige cups the younger woman’s face, “baby there is no amount of alcohol in the world that could make me forget you. Trust me I’ve tried,” she slips her hand under Azzi’s shirt, caressing the skin underneath, “but every time I see you baby, I memorize every little part of you,” she dances her fingertips across where she remembers those stretch marks -the ones Azzi is so afraid of her seeing again- are littered across her stomach, “and whether I’m sober or drunk or something in between, I always think every little bit of you is perfect.”

“Paige,” Azzi says softly, something akin to awe coating her voice.

“Just wanna make you feel as good as you made me feel baby. Please,” Paige wraps her fingers around the edge of Azzi’s shirt again, “can I?”

“Okay,” Azzi concedes quietly, lifting her arms so Paige can finally tug the offending shirt off.

Paige gives herself a moment to look at the woman in front of her, the woman whose body she’s seen countless times yet she swears that it feels like a different adventure every time. And then she lets herself have a taste, running her tongue lazily across Azzi’s skin, as she slowly maneuvers them so she can hover above the younger woman. A soft smile flitter across her face as she rubs her fingers over the tattoo printed across Azzi’s ribcage. It’s a purple S tattoo, with butterfly wings fanning out on either side. For Stephie.

Keeping her eyes trained on the darker-skinned , she brushes her lips across the stretch marks on the darker-skinned woman’s abdomen and she hopes that Azzi can read the all of your imperfections are still made for me that Paige is spelling out against her skin. She uses her teeth to pull down Azzi’s panties, smirking to herself when she hears the younger woman's breath hitch above her. Eyes still interlocked with Azzi’s, Paige is purposefully slow as she licks a stripe up Azzi’s folds, relishing the way the other woman’s eyes roll back into her head.

“So fucking wet,” she hums, “all for me?”

“You know-” Azzi shudders when Paige’s lips brush against her clit, still teasing, “you know it is.”

Paige smirks, “only for me.”

“Please,” Azzi begs as Paige continues to lazily lap at her pussy, giving her something but not quite enough.

“Say it,” Paige demands, harshly biting against Azzi’s inner thigh as she brings up a hand to rub infinity signs around Azzi’s clit, “say it’s only for me.”

“It’s only for you-” Azzi cuts herself off with a scream as Paige plunges her tongue deep inside her, setting a tempo she knows will have Azzi seeing stars.

“Doing so good for me baby,” Paige coos as she adds two fingers with her tongue, “always so good for me.”

“Fuck,” Azzi fists the bedsheets, trying to gain some semblance of control as she writhes under Paige’s touch, “feels so good. Paige please.”

“I know,” Paige whispers, “I know what you need baby.”

And that’s the thing about them. That’s why it’s good every single time. Because Paige knows every little crevice of Azzi’s body like it’s her own, knows exactly where to touch and how to touch to elicit those little gasps of pleasure that she wishes she could record and listen to on loop. And it doesn’t matter how long they go without each other in between, coming back always feels like home. But as much as she loves the feeling of coming back, Paige never wants to feel it again. Because this time, she hopes there is no in between without each other. She hopes that this time, they both stay.

“Paige,” Azzi moans again, her name falling from her mouth like a prayer.

“I’ve got you,” Paige whispers, capturing Azzi’s lips with her own as she continues her ministrations with her hand, “fall apart for me baby. I swear I’ll put you back together.”

There’s nothing quite like watching Azzi come undone and Paige drinks in the sight of the other woman quivering as she grabs the blonde’s bicep so tight that it’s bound to leave a victory mark. Paige coaxes her through it, nibbling at Azzi’s jawline as the younger woman slowly climbs down from her peak, going limp in Paige’s arms.

They’re quiet for a while, languorously pressing delicate kisses against each other's skin, soft hands exploring all over each other’s familiar bodies as they tangle their legs together; close not being close enough.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Paige whines when Azzi starts to move out of her grasp.

“I got what I came for,” Azzi teases, “so I’m going back to my own bed.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Paige scowls, pulling the younger woman back into her chest.

Azzi laughs, kissing away Paige’s pout as she wriggles out of her grip and slips out of the bed, “relax. I’m just getting something to clean us up with.”

“Well hurry up. I’m already cold,” Paige mewls before letting out a wolf-whistle as her eyes drift over Azzi’s naked retreating form, appreciating the tautness of the brunette’s back muscles down to her perfectly curved ass.

“You’re 31 years old Paige Bueckers,” Azzi chides as she walks into the ensuite bathroom but Paige can hear the blush in her voice.

“And you’re hot as fuck Azzi Fudd,” Paige calls out with a smirk, keeping the and you’re all mine as a secret in her own thoughts.

“You’re not bad yourself Bueckers,” Azzi returns from the bathroom with a smile and a damp cloth as she hops back onto the bed, gently dabbing it between Paige’s thighs.

It’s a simple act but Paige feels tears prickle at the corner of the eyes. Because it signifies so much more than just this moment. For most of her life, Paige had grown accustomed to the idea that no one would take care of her unless she took care of them first. She didn't know it was possible that someone could reach out first, that they could hold her first without any expectation of anything else in return. Until Azzi.

“Baby?” Azzi’s voice is wrapped in concern as she takes notice of Paige’s tears, immediately rising up to brush them away, “what’s wrong?”

“Nothing I just-” Paige loops her arms around Azzi’s neck, shuddering slightly at how earnest the younger woman’s face is, “I really fucking missed you.”

Azzi’s eyes soften as she caresses Paige’s cheek before pressing her lips against her forehead, “I really fucking missed you too.”

***

Paige’s eyes flutter awake to sunlight peeking through the blue curtains of Azzi’s guest bedroom. She groans, shifting to bury her face further into the brunette’s stomach, pinching it when Azzi laughs above her. Lifting her head slightly, Paige can’t help but smile at the woman above her. Azzi’s got her glasses on, a book in her hands as she peers down at Paige with nothing but pure fondness. Something aches in Paige’s chest as countless visions of mornings just like this fill her head. She’d resigned herself to believing that she’d never get this back again, that she’d have to rely on memories of the past to fill the empty void that rattled hollowly against her chest every time she’d woken up without Azzi by her side.

“Morning sleepy head,” Azzi says softly, putting her book down to brush her fingers through Paige’s hair, “assuming you slept well considering you didn’t even notice when I left to grab my glasses and a book from my room.”

Paige frowns, “you left me?”

“I was bored,” Azzi defends herself, “you were fast asleep and I had nothing to occupy myself with.”

“I can believe you left me,” Paige petulantly accuses again.

“I didn’t leave-”

“You left me!”

“Okay fine,” Azzi concedes with an eyeroll, “but I came back.”

“Yeah you did,” a soft smile takes over Paige’s features as she leans up to brush her lips against Azzi’s, “you came back.”

“I did,” Azzi whispers against Paige’s mouth, cupping the older woman’s face with her hands.

Paige is about to deepen the kiss, her hands beginning to slip lower, when the sound of a doorbell ruins any chances of putting in motion any of the uncordial ideas that had taken birth in her mind. She groans as Azzi immediately pulls away.

“Shit, I didn’t realize they’d be here so early.” the younger woman curses, hurriedly tossing Paige’s discarded clothes at her, “here, put your clothes on. I’ll go down first while you change.”

“I- I can come down?” Paige asks slowly.

Azzi crinkles her eyes in confusion, “what do you mean? What else would you do?”

“I just. I dunno-” Paige shrugs, “I just assumed you uh- you wouldn’t want Stephie to know I stayed the night. I figured I’d sneak out of the window or something.”

“Paige,” Azzi whispers, walking over to grip the older girl’s hands, “you’re not- you’re not my dirty little secret or anything. I’m not- I’m not quite ready to tell Stephie about us- hell I’m not even really sure what we are yet but I know- I know that I don’t want to hide you from her. Besides,” she nudges Paige humorously, “we’re on the 2nd floor babe. I don’t need you trying to climb out the window and breaking your knee before the season even starts.”

Paige watches quietly as Azzi walks out the door. She doesn’t think the younger woman quite understands how much she had needed to hear those words, how much she had needed to not feel like a secret again. It fills Paige with a sense of hope, hope that maybe things would be different this time. Maybe things would be better this time.

***

“Miss Buecks,” Stephie squeals from Azzi’s arms as she spots Paige descending down the stairs, “you’re already here!”

Paige smiles at the little girl, tapping her nose over Azzi’s shoulder, “I promised you I’d be here bright and early didn’t I?”

“Very bright and early,” Katie cocks an eyebrow as she smirks at Paige and Azzi, “how did you get here so early Paige?”

“Don’t be silly Nanna. She drove of course,” Stephie says matter-of-factly before scrunching up her nose, “but Miss Buecks. How come your car isn’t outside then?”

“That’s a great question Stephie,” Katie says and Paige thinks the woman’s a little bit too peppy for a grandmother, “why isn’t your car outside Paige?”

“Because-” Azzi gives her mother an exasperated look before fixing her eyes on her daughter, “because Paige slept over last night.”

“Miss Buecks slept over last night?” Stephie repeats.

“I did,” Paige confirms, glaring at Katie as she snickers in the corner.

“Mama can you please put me down,” Stephie says finally.

The little girl looks upset and Paige feels her heart constrict with fear. In general, she doesn’t really do well with people being mad at her. But she definitely doesn't think she can take Stephie of all people being mad at her. The little girl has chiseled herself into Paige’s heart and if she ever left, Paige thinks she’d leave a hole so big, her entire heart would cease working.

Azzi shares a nervous look with Paige as she sets her daughter down before crouching down to Stephie’s level, “what’s wrong Stephie-bean?”

Stephie’s bottom lip trembles as she looks between her mother and Paige, “you let Miss Buecks sleepover.”

“I-” Azzi looks helplessly between her own mother and Paige, both of whom look just as tense, “I did but sweetheart why is that upsetting you? You like Miss Buecks.”

“I love Miss Buecks,” Stephie wails and Paige lets out a sigh of relief, the little girl's words wrapping themselves around her like a warm blanket.

Azzi blanches for a second, “I don’t understand then what’s the problem-”

“YOU GUYS HAD A SLEEPOVER WITHOUT ME,” Stephie yells, stomping her tiny feet.

Oh.

“Stephie-” Azzi says softly, unable to keep the smile off of her face.

“I can’t believe you’d do this to me Mama,” Stephie sniffs as she turns to Paige with a betrayed expression, “and you Miss Buecks. How could you guys have a sleepover without me?”

“Oh sweetheart,” Paige falls to her knees beside Azzi, trying not to smile when Stephie dramatically turns her face away from them, “we didn’t mean to. It was just really late when we got back from the party-”

“The party,” Stephie cries out, “first you went to a party without me and then you had a sleepover without me. I can’t bel-ieve you guys would do that to me. Don’t you guys love me at all?”

“We’re really sorry Stephie,” Paige says as seriously as she can, reaching out to fold Stephie’s tiny hands into her much larger one.

“Very, very, sorry,” Azzi echoes.

“I don’t know,” Katie supplies unhelpfully from where she’s watching the whole situation with pure amusement, “they don’t seem that sorry Stephie.”

“Mom!” “Katie!”

Katie raises her hands in mock surrender as both Paige and Azzi glare at her, “just looking out for my granddaughter’s best interest.”

“Stephie-bean,” Paige says again, maneuvering the little girl’s body to face her, “your Mama and I are very, very, sorry for having a sleepover without you. Please forgive us.”

Stephie looks at the adults kneeling in front of her with a contemplative expression, “you promise you’ll never do it again?”

“Never,” Azzi promises as Paige nods along.

“And when we go to the park today I can get three scoops of ice cream?” the little girl asks, the hint of a smile starting to breakthrough her lips.

“I don’t know about that one sweetheart. That’s a lot of ice-”

“Of course you can!”

“Paige!” Azzi hisses.

“And you’ll push me on the swing at the park for twenty minutes?”

“I’ll even push you for thirty minutes if you want,” Paige says and Azzi rolls her eyes.

“Just had to one-up it didn’t you Bueckers,” she mutters under her breath.

“And even though Miss Buecks said she’d get me fries at the park, I can get In-N-Out for dinner too?”

“You’re pushing it Stephie-bean-”

“In-N-Out for dinner sounds perfect,” Paige winks at Stephie as a full smile finally overtakes the little girl’s face.

“You’re hopeless,” Azzi chides the blonde, throwing her hands up exasperatedly but there’s no denying the grin on her face as she looks back at Stephie, “is that all your highness? Are we finally forgiven or did you want to ask us for more unhealthy things?”

“Just one more thing,” Stephie’s eyes twinkle with mischief, “Miss Buecks has to sleepover tonight too.”

Paige and Azzi share a toothy smile with each other before turning to the little girl.

“I think that could be arranged.”

The words are barely out of Paige’s mouth before Stephie goes tumbling into her and Azzi, tiny arms somehow wrapping around both of their necks as she pulls them into a group hug. The two adults laugh, cocooning the little girl in between them as she rambles on about how excited she is. And Paige thinks that when all is said and done, when she looks back on her life, she’ll remember this moment as the one where everything started to finally come together. Right now, with Stephie's arms wrapped around her neck and Azzi’s hands curling around the little girl’s back to intertwine their fingers together, this moment here feels perfect. This moment feels like it belongs to Paige.

#pazzi #paige bueckers #azzi fudd #wcbb

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babbymochiiii · 3 months ago

Text

🔞⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ 𝑃𝐿𝐸𝐴𝑆𝐸 𝐿𝐸𝑇 𝑀𝐸 𝐻𝐸𝐿𝑃 𝑌𝑂𝑈: 𝐻𝑈𝐴𝑁𝐺 𝑅𝐸𝑁𝐽𝑈𝑁

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ cyborg! renjun x afab creator! reader; please let me help you...it's what i'm meant for.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ warnings: 18+ MDNI, nipple play, self fingering, whimpery and beg-ish renjun, fast learner renjun, making out, slight oral (f), pent up frustration being taken out on reader, p in v, creampie, not proof read, etc...if i missed anything let me know pls ;P

⊹ ࣪ ˖ author's note: INSPIRED BY THE SONG THE MACHINE BY REED WONDERS & AURORA OLIVAS ( listen to it if you haven't, such a good song! ) thank you so much for 300+ follows! it means so much to see you guys wanting to keep up with my writing 🥹 as a little thank you, here is this fic for you!

⊹ ࣪ ˖ word count: 3.8k

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ m.list for more fics!

You were stressed.

Beyond stressed at that.

You looked towards the papers in front of you with frowned eyebrows as you mentally cursed at them for making you so stressed out. you let out a deep sigh as you ran your hands through your hair before resting your head at the crook of your arm.

Renjun assessed you from the corner of your room as he scanned through his system trying to figure out the exact solution for him to help you. He softly called out your name, to which earned a soft hum of a response from you.

“Do you wish for me to help you in anyway?” he asks as he looks at you with the softest expression you have ever seen him give you.

Great. You thought. I’m being pitied by my own creation. This causes another sigh to escape your lips before you turned your head to the side to fully look towards him. “I’m okay Renjun. Just —” another sigh. “— just having a hard time trying to figure out this equation here and nothing is working.”

Renjun frowned towards you as he knew there was something more than this and he could not pinpoint the exact reason as to why this made his chest hurt. “But —”

“Really I'm okay, Renjun.” you said as you tried to give him the best convincing smile you could muster.

Not fully convinced at this point, Renjun lets it go as he knew it would cause an issue with you and he did not want to see you even more stressed than you already were.

Renjun knew why he was created by you. At least he understood why you did. You were lonely, and just wanted someone that could love you and fully understand you as the way you were without changing who you were for anyone. But he could not understand why you never used him like he was supposed to be used for. It broke his heart, well his metaphorical heart, to know that you were hesitant to do more with him as he wanted to do so much with you. He just did not want to push you.

You always rested with Renjun by your side in bed, it was your way of making sure you got your full rest. But for some reason, tonight you were having a challenging time getting that said rest. You kept tossing and turning trying to find the most comfortable spot on your bed. A sigh escapes through your lips, and you lay your hand on your forehead as frustration crawling through your entire body.

A thought crossed your mind that made your body flush at the thought. You turned your head to the side and were met with Renjun’s figure sleeping soundly next to you. Blessing your past self in the moment for creating the program in which he would require a certain amount of sleep to properly function. Not wanting to waste the open window you had, knowing that in an hour or two, Renjun would wake up soon as his sleep cycle would be ending.

You started to mess with your nipples through your shirt. As you continued to tease and roll them with your thumb and pointer finger, you gently removed one hand from a nipple and used to trace down your sternum and down to your navel, creating a ticklish sensation that causes you to sigh in content. You finally reached the band of your underwear; you slowly pushed your hand underneath the waistband.

You bring your fingertips down towards your folds. Completely passing your clit wanting to further tease yourself and moved towards your entrance where you knew you could gather enough slick to mess with your clit. Once you felt that you had gathered enough slick on your fingertips, you moved it towards your swollen hood and gently applied pressure on it. A shudder of a moan escapes your lips at the pressure you were creating as this was exactly what was going to help you sleep for the rest of the night.

Slowly, you started to apply more pressure as you started to move your fingertips in the way you liked it so on your swollen clit. Small moans escape your lips as the sensations you were creating were descending on your legs. As you started to pick up the pace, a loud moan slipped through your mouth which caused you to cover your mouth with your free hand and quickly cast a glance towards Renjun.

Biting your lower lip, you remove your hand from covering your mouth and bring it down towards your wet folds. You started to feel around your slicked entrance, collecting as many fluids as possible around your fingers before you slowly slipped one into your entrance.

As you started to pump your finger inside of you, one finger became two fingers inside of you as you continued to chase after your height. The slow starting out pace you had quickly turned into a faster paced on as you started to follow the pace you had on your clit.

So, entrapment in your blissful world of pleasure, you failed to notice how Renjun stirred a bit before waking up fully.

Renjun felt himself blink his eyes slowly, adjusting them a bit in the dark room. His senses slowly came to him and the first thing that did was his hearing.

He could hear the way you let out muffled moans through your mouth, the squelching sounds that came out from your entrance as you fucked yourself with your fingers.

Could this finally be it? Renjun wondered. Can this finally be the time she uses me as she intended me for?

Renjun tried his best not to make his presence known now as he was not sure how you would react to him waking up and just listening in on you trying to pleasure yourself.

So, naturally he waited.

Minutes continued to pass and Renjun continued to lay idle as he heard you pleasure yourself. He felt completely perverted knowing that he had not made his presence known to you, but he did not want you to stop because...it felt like he was the one helping you reach your peak.

You were about to reach your height when you heard the smallest sound of a whimper. Too into pleasure you just thought it was yourself, so you just continued chasing the feeling within you. Just as you felt the feeling tighten within your core, you heard the faintest whisper of your name.

You turned your head to the side to see a completely flustered Renjun looking at you with such doe like eyes and a deep flush on your face.

“y/n...” he whimpered your name again in such a breathless way that it completely took you over the edge.

Unexpectedly, you felt your core tighten completely and release in such an intense manner that it made you see stars briefly. You knew you were close to an orgasm but, seeing Renjun’s expression and the way he cried out your name was enough to set you over the edge.

Trying your best to catch your breath, you turned your gaze to Renjun.

“How long —” you cut yourself off as you felt your skin flush at the thought of how long he could’ve been watching you. “— how long have you been watching me?” you question as you placed your hands on your chest.

Renjun felt his ears heat up as he avoided your gaze for a moment as he didn’t know how to put into words the feelings he felt while watching you. “N-not that long.” He said gently and watched with a calculated stare for your reaction.

You turned to face forward to stare at the ceiling as you tried to understand the situation fully and to put all your thoughts together. You knew that Renjun would wake up at any moment the moment you started to pleasure yourself but to be fair you didn’t think it would take you that long to finish.

All it took was to look at him and hear him say your name. That one voice spoke in the back of your mind, though as much as you wanted to be annoyed with it, you knew it was right. It was right in the way that you were scared to even admit to yourself for a while now. You knew the reason why you built Renjun, and the sole reason as to why you created him the way you did. It was to help you get through the loneliness you had but to also help you with any pent up stress that you had. And yet...you never used him in such way as you started to see him as a human being.

Renjun did have a program where he could understand and fully act like a human being himself, but you still held back just because you weren’t sure you were the one that was ready to take it there with him.

So caught up in your own thoughts, you almost missed the way Renjun moved closer to your side and placed a tender hand on your face and gently turning your face to where you can face him.

“Please —” his voice breaks. “— please let me help you.” he begged you as his eyes started to water a bit.

You were completely stunned at his reaction. You didn’t know what to say or what exactly to make of this situation but, your body had a different thing to say in the matter. Before you could even fully process what was happening, you leaned into the little bit of space that was left between the two of you. You placed a tender kiss onto Renjun’s lips to which he recuperated back. The two of you slowly explored one another's mouths, trying to figure out the pace the other wanted to place.

Completely enamored with the taste, Renjun couldn’t help but place his hands into your hair, slightly pulling on the strands collecting the moan that rushed out of your parted lips and pulling you much closer to him. Going off of instinct alone, Renjun pulls himself up from the bed and pushes your legs open with his knee creating a space for his body.

The moment his knee made contact with your quivering nerves, you let out a whimper into the kiss as you involuntarily rocked your hips on his knee trying to chase for that delicious sensation that was overstimulation.

Renjun pulled away from your lips and started to place tender kisses along the column of your neck along with small bite marks in between each kiss that only elicited the prettiest moan he has heard leave your mouth this whole night so far.

I wonder what she would sound like when I kissed between her legs... Renjun couldn’t help but wonder to himself as he started to leave open mouth kisses down your navel and on each side of your hips. The moment his lips reached your lushest thighs, he couldn’t help himself but teasingly bite them as his hands slowly made their way down. When his hands reach your thighs, he grabs a handful of the fat of the thigh that causes a whimper to escape your lips as you prompt your elbows up to take a look at him from your hooded eye lids.

“W-what are you doing?” you asked out of breath as you felt your heart hammer even harder in its place in your chest.

“I wanna taste you...” Renjun muttered as he placed a small kiss on your clothed clit.

Before you could say anything to Renjun, he pulled your panties to the side and kitten licked your sensitive nub. Not being enough for him, he licks a strip from your entrance up to your clit with the fat of his tongue.

The sensation of Renjun just licking up and between your folds was enough to send your toes curling and your eyes to turn to the back of your skull. He continued licking and sucking your folds as his goal was to suck out as much of those delicious moans out of you as he can.

Remembering the movements you did on yourself you reach your own high earlier, Renjun softly placed the pad of his fingers on your entrance as he only wanted to gather up as much slick and spit as he could before he pressed his slicked-covered fingers onto your clit.

This draws out a high pitched moan from you as he started to create tight, small circles on your clit. At this point you were a panting mess as you wondered how he knew your body so well.

“H-how —” you cut yourself off as you felt his tongue start to gather up as much of your sweetened slick as he could on his tongue.

“I’m just applying the things I've seen you do on yourself.” Renjun answered between licks as he couldn’t get enough of your taste.

As he continued, you felt your stomach tighten as he started to flick your clit. “P-please not like this —” you cried out as you arched your back off of the bed.

Renjun stopped all motions and looked at you for a moment. “Do you want me inside of you?” He gently asks as he starts to sit on his knees, waiting for your answer.

You nodded your head as you hurriedly answered him. “Yes! Y-yes please I want to finish on your cock.” you said as you looked at him with such a deep and pretty flush on your face, only making him lose his composure even more.

Without answering you, Renjun rushes to lean into you for another heated kiss as you opened your legs wide for him to be able to insert himself between your legs. As the two of you fought for the little bit of dominance in the kiss, you started to push down at the sweats that laid on his hips with your feet as you felt yourself growing desperate for not having him inside of you. The same was being done with you, Renjun took hold of your panties into his hands and just ripped them in half as he didn’t want to wait any longer as well.

Once you were both successfully naked on your bottom halves, you both pulled away from the kiss and looked down towards where Renjun’s cock was resting painfully hard on your thigh.

Oh... you knew that Renjun was packing, for God’s sake you were the one that designed it for him. But seeing it for the first time in such way...it was making your mouth water at the pretty sight before you.

Renjun was on the thick side of the things, with the prettiest shade of pink for his tip. A couple of throbbing veins adorned the side of his cock that you were just dying to feel inside of you.

Before you could say anything to him, Renjun took hold of the base of his cock and guided it to between your folds to gather up as much slick as he could. Feeling like he needed his dick a bit more wet, he spat on himself, and your glistening folds a couple times to where he gave a content smile. He then guided his tip towards your awaiting entrance.

Renjun started to slowly push his fat tip into your tight entrance that caused for a groan to leave his lips and for a moan to leave yours. He continued to push himself inch by inch until he was fully seethed inside of you.

You knew Renjun wasn’t moving as he was letting you adjust to his size considering he didn’t fully prep you for his size, but how could think about him adjusting when you needed him to start moving or you thought you were going to go crazy at the stillness.

“Renjun...s-so full.” you whimpered as you placed your hands on his shoulders and lightly dug your finger nails into them creating half-moon indents.

He slowly started to glide against your gummy walls, and you swore you felt one of his veins thump violently inside of you. Renjun swore under his breath as he tried to hold in his load as he didn’t want to ejaculate prematurely just because of how your warmth was consuming him whole.

You watched the way Renjun couldn’t take his eyes off of where the two of you became one. You watched the way his eyebrows frowned in pleasure as small pants started to come out of his mouth. Renjun’s gaze switched up to you to see how you were handling everything, and he swore he felt something within him snap at the look of ecstasy on your face.

Without much warning to you, Renjun pulled out almost completely just leaving his tip inside of you and thrusted fully in one go. This caused you to arch you back off of the bed with a squeal.

“S-sorry! Did I hurt you?” Renjun panicked as he completely stayed still inside of you as he wasn’t sure how to take your reaction.

“N-no just — ah! — just felt so good.” you moaned out as you felt Renjun’s tip nudge slightly at your cervix.

“Oh...” he muttered quietly as he looked down at where the two of you connected once again before he started to create a fast pace.

Short, quick pants leave your lips as you tried to keep up with the fast pace Renjun was going at now. You felt more of your wetness sleek out of you as you watched the way he was completely zooned onto your stomach as he watched the way each time, he pounded in he could see a slight bulge through your stomach.

You went to say something to him when he suddenly started to pick up an even faster pace and was hitting that spot within you that you yourself couldn't even get to.

“F-fuck — mmgh! — you feel so good.” Renjun grunted out as he took hold of your legs and pulled them over his shoulders, putting you into such a mean mating press.

“Junie!” you cried out as you felt him go into a deeper angle inside of you.

“Made me wait for so long for you to use me the way I was intended to.” he said as he pushed your thighs down further against your chest.

“Had to fucking watch you fuck yourself with your fingers for you to even let me fuck you.” he grunted between each thrust as he pushed down on your hips, so you wouldn’t move an inch as he continued his ruthless pace on your wet cunt.

At this point you were a complete squelching mess as Renjun kept fucking into you relentlessly. You felt your mouth fall open as silent moans fall through your lips as he continued to hit your g-spot with such precise hits.

“Did you enjoy the fact that I was watching you the whole time baby, hmm?” he teased as he pressed down on your neglected clit causing you to arch your back as much as you could off of the bed. “Tell me baby, did you?”

You felt your head move up and down numbly as you felt yourself getting completely dumb on his delicious cock. Renjun took hold of your face and squished your cheeks together in such a degrading way that you felt yourself clenching, causing Renjun to falter a bit at the sensation.

“Use your words when I’m talking to you.” Renjun said as he leaned his face down to where your lips grazed one another.

A breathless moan leaves your squished lips as you nodded your head which quickly followed a squealing response; “Y-yes!”

“Such a good girl.” Renjun groaned out as he placed his lips on yours as he let his hand go from your face as it loosely wrapped around your neck.

As the of you made out, Renjun created faster and tighter circles against your clit making you whimper into the kiss that he swallowed as your tongues glided against one another. Your felt your core starting to tighten signaling that you were close to your second release of the night.

“I’m — ngh! Ah! — I'm close!” you moaned out once Renjun moved away from your lips to lean down and place love marks on your breasts before he started to lap his tongue against your sensitive nipples.

Renjun knew you were close to the way your velvety walls start to contract against his cock in such a delicious grip that he was so close to blowing his load inside of you completely.

“Can feel you clenching so tightly around me baby...” Renjun said as he felt his thrusts become staggering and somewhat sloppy as he knew he was also close.

“Junie please, please, please come with me!” you whined out as you started to feel the tightening sensation become too much causing for tears to brim against your water line.

“Fuck baby.” Renjun moaned out as he started losing all resolve in holding out as much as he could.

With a small whimper, Renjun looked into your eyes, and you too saw tears brimming at his water lines as the sensation of cumming was all but new to him. You took hold of his face in your hands as you knew he was having a hard time letting go.

“Come with me baby.” you whispered gently between the two of you.

With one last hard thrust, he came with a mix of a whimper and grunt as the gentle, fucked out expression and words you were giving him was just the right push he needed.

As you felt ropes of his cum start to paint the inside of your walls, it was what you just needed as your core tightened completely before releasing in such an Earth shattering orgasm.

You felt Renjun start to soften inside you as you both tried to catch your breath. Renjun placed his forehead against yours as the two of you basked in your post-sex glow. Slowly, Renjun removed himself from inside of you with a low hiss before he laid by your side and wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you into his side.

He gently moved the strands of your hair that stuck onto your sweaty forehead out of way, he started to place gentle kisses along your face before he landed on your lips, kissing you gently.

“Don’t do that to me ever again please.” Renjun whispered against your lips.

“I promise baby.” You whispered back to him with a small kiss.

Renjun leaned down and connected your lips into another gentle kiss, sealing the promise between the two of you as he held onto you tightly by his side.

a/n: thank you for reading and thank you again for 300+ follows!

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lunaa007 · 2 years ago

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Astrology observations #1

Welcome to my first astrology observations!

I’m in no way a professional astrologer, this is purely for fun. Take only what resonates with you! I'm happy to discuss these points further in the comments :)

♦️ Leo mars live for the praise. They love words of affirmation, especially in bed 😏 They call the attention effortlessly when exercising, dancing or other mars-related activities. But they might not always like this.

♦️ Chiron 1st house can be very insecure about their appearance if they don’t work to heal this. I know someone with this placement that hates mirrors as they never liked what they saw. But it gives great potential to heal and help others regarding these issues.

♦️ Sagittarius mars people could regularly need new experiences in their sexual life. They might be open to try everything once “just to see”, and they might lean less toward monogamy than other mars placements.

♦️ Moon in the 6th house might be more sensitive to anxiety as their emotions lie in the house of daily life and routine. So they might have to deal with their emotions on a daily basis. They might need regular physical movement and consistent routines to feel regulated and content.

♦️ Pluto conjunct MC might hate posting on social media as they could feel exposed and vulnerable if they do. They might have an intense need to keep their life private.

♦️Mercury conjunct/square/opposite Pluto might swear a lot, or at least more than what they were taught was okay. If their education was very strict they might swear only when surprised, like if they get hurt or forget something.

♦️Venus in 10th house or conjunct MC can work in the fashion or makeup industry and be known for their beauty and sense of aesthetics.

♦️Saturn in Aquarius could have interest or talents in Uranian fields such as astrology or technology. They might be motivated to work towards social causes. They also could have an emotionally distant outlook on life.

♦️Lilith conjunct Ascendant create strong reactions everywhere they go. They are provocative without trying. People can get easily obsessed with them as they exude tremendous sex appeal. But they can also get very aggressive and negative reactions towards them without any reason.

♦️Mars square pluto absolutely need to channel their energy and anger into exercise and breath work. Martial arts is the best for them. If they don't control this energy it can get dangerous for themselves and even for others in extreme cases. But if they learn to control this tremendous force, they can achieve incredible things.

♦️Venus square Saturn can have a lot of difficulties with their self-worth, which affects their relationships. If you have a low self-esteem you will settle for less than you deserve. Once they have sufficiently worked on themselves and on their self esteem, they can find great love. This doesn't mean it can't come early but it might be more challenging. However, Saturn delays but never denies. They are not doomed and will find love (this depends also on other placements and aspects).

♦️Moon in Taurus can have a very calming and healing aura. People feel at peace when with these natives, especially when hugging. They are very grounded and stable, which is felt by others and is very reassuring. However, they can be stubborn at times as Taurus is a fixed sign.

♦️Mars in the 12th house could be passive aggressive sometimes as they do not recognise their own anger and never really learn how to control it. They might have sudden outbursts which can take the people around them by surprise.

♦️Sun opposite Moon can have a difficult relationship with their mother. They can feel that their mother's personality is the complete opposite of them and that they are not understood by her. Other aspects to the moon can come accentuate this or make it easier.

♦️Pisces Mars often have a talent for dancing. One of my best friends has this placement and she is a professional contemporary dancer. Her movements are so graceful, it really looks like water moving. Mars at a pisces degree (12°, 24°) can have a gift for dancing also to a lesser extent.

♦️Pluto in the 9th house can bring transformations and soul evolutions when traveling overseas, studying a higher education or moving abroad.

Thank you for reading ❤️

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heavenlyysstuff · 8 months ago

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Flower Girl

NETEYAM.s x fem! omatikaya! reader

summary . Whenever in battle, he always had someone to fight for, and he was always going to return to her at the end of the day.

language . syulang ‘ flower . sevin ‘ pretty

a/n . I apologise for the no content recently, kinda lacking ideas rn, so feel free to drop any idea you have in my asks!

The war cry’s and yelps of his people around him became a blur, the sky people relentlessly try to kick at their defence.

Since the loss of home tree, the Omatikaya never seemed to know peace again, not with these creatures invading their land and homes.

Neteyam can only watch from afar as his people fight for what’s theirs, set with the task of being a watcher, making sure to alert his father for any more incoming sky people.

He wants to fight, protect his land… the ones he loves. But he knows that at his age, war shouldn’t be something he should have to prepare and participate in.

He can see the difference between the numbers in his people and them. It looks like they are winning this battle, but at what cost?

He knows his people will be leaving with scars, bruises and cuts, he just hopes he can help his family stay clean.

“We gotta get down there bro!” Neteyam hears his brother beside him on his own ikran.

“Dad will skin us.” His reply is stern, and in Neteyam’s mind he knows any of what happens to his brother in the next few moments, it will be up to him to take the blame.

Lo’am shakes of his worry with a tilt of the head and his ikran soars down onto the battlefield.

“Lo’ak! You…Ughhh…” Neteyam yells out, grunting at his brother’s rebelliousnes, but also commands his ikran to chase down his brother.

Back at camp, you help to organise some herbs you and other apprentice heaters had gathered.

Your fingers brush through each herb and help to put them into its designated bowl. You and the other young women have created a circle around a total of 5 bowls, each of them sorting through their own sections of herbs.

Not only did this job help the people of the clan, it helped that the apprentices were always chatty, and when you bring a handful of chatty young women into one place, information is bound to spread.

The women frequently discuss any of the latest happenings in the clan, usually small playful stuff, it helped to keep the group entertained.

You never did much talking, only listened, occasionally giving your thoughts when asked but you don’t mind much, you’re more of a thinker, so when working you usually just zone out into your own little world.

“Aah, Y/n… you have more of those in your hair.” A passing female states when handing a bowl of salve to another woman, she crouches behind you and begins to peck at your hair with her fingers.

“Ayyie.” You lift your hands to shield your hair and lean forward. “I like it like this…” she giggled behind you and gives your hair one minor adjustment before standing up to move around the circle.

“It is quite pretty you have to admit, Ayyie.” Another girl in the group says while looking up from her work. “I just don’t know how you do it everyday, Y/n.”

“The reaction she gets from Neteyam every time seems to keep her going.” Another states, and the circle begins giggling at the fact.

You bring your head down to avoid the confrontation, heat pools at your cheeks and your tail is brought high up next to you. “What are you talking about.” You reply rhetorically.

She giggles more at your clearly flustered reaction, “oh nothing just how he always compliments it and that smile you have all day when he does.” This causes hums of agreement and laughter to flow through everyone in the circle.

“He doesn’t…it’s not like that.” Your words contradict your actions, as your tail sways hurriedly behind you, ears pinning to the sides of your head which of course makes the women around you giggle to each other.

“Oh leave her alone, she can hardly think about him without getting so worked up.” Tee’ron spills out half in your defends half to tease you.

You decide it’s be best if you just stopped talking to avoid getting deeper into your pit of embarrassment, you keep your head down and continue sorting through herbs.

The girls remain giggling for a bit before Tee’ron puts a hand on your shoulder, “sorry, Y/n.” She says in a between quiet laughs, quick to calm her breathing.

“The war party is back!”

Those words were what broke you out of your working frenzy, immediately your head shoots to look outside and your ears perk up.

You are first to stand from the circle of women, hastily making your way outside the hut and out to see the returning warriors, to see him.

You walk slowly and look at every man and woman in hopes to find him, and once you look forward, he’s there.

You wanted to run to him, but with seeing him came seeing his father, and the rest of his family. You didn’t know weather to get any closer, but you decided to take the chance.

You slowly walk towards him, and once close enough you can hear the tone of his fathers voice when speaking to him, he seemed to tone it down once Neytiri spoke though.

You don’t think Neteyam noticed you when you stood behind him, but his father certainly did “Y/n, could you help Kiri with the wounded.” He tilts his head to gesture to his daughter who stood on the other side of Neteyam.

“Neteyam is wounded.” You speak with a somewhat sharp tone, your quick to bite your tongue though and quickly lower your eyes to look to the side.

The Olo’eyktan sighs and looks between you and his son, “go on then.”

You can see Neteyam’s shoulders visibly relax and you bring a hand to grasp his arm, pulling it to lead him away from his family and toward an empty healing hut.

On the way you look behind you, only to meet Neteyam’s mothers eyes. You could never really read that woman, mostly silent and stern. The look in her eyes was nothing new though, she looked between you and her son and a small smile crept out of her, you didn’t see it for too long, as you turn to guide Neteyam into the hut.

You let go of his arm and he instinctively takes a seat of the ground close to the herbs set next to him.

He slowly sits down with one leg sprawled out and the other perched closer to his chest, hissing at the strain the movements cause him.

“Shhh..” you’re quick to calm him, coming close to his side and placing a bowl of salve informer of you. He glances at you before looking back down to the ground in front of him, and he goes silent. Tilting your head, you ask “how bad was it?” While scanning over his form to take in any hidden injuries.

He rolls his shoulder and fixes his posture, “could’ve been worse, I suppose.” He huffs, and fixes his gaze on you. “Hey,” he tilts his head, raising a hand to poke at your hair, “where’d you get these ones?”

You move your own hand up to you hair, grasping his hand in the process, “secret.” He scoffs at your reply and looks offended.

“I’ve been almost everywhere in this forest, I’ll find them soon enough.” He brings your clasped hands down to rest on his knee. You only smirk and roll your eyes. “Sevin syulang.”

You hum at his words, “yea I thought so to.” Agreeing with his words, without thinking he may not have been talking about the flowers… “let me fix you up, okay?”

He huffs in fake annoyance, but smiles once you lather salve onto a wound on his shoulder, your hands warm to the touch.

He closes his eyes, enjoying the feeling of your hands gliding against his slightly scarred skin, feeling as you make your way from his arms, massaging the muscles up to his shoulders.

Then to his face, where you apply smaller amounts of ointment to the wounds. Your hands gliding across his forehead and along the bridge of his nose, under his chin.

He opens his eyes, and realised how much closer you’ve come, only a small distance between your two faces, but he can still feel the slight circular motions you continue on a scar across his jawline.

Exhaling slowly in thought, he grabs your hand to pause your movements, causing you to look into his eyes with what at first was confusion, quickly turning into a realisation.

You both stay eyes locked on each others for a moment, Neteyam’s unoccupied hand coming up to caress your own cheek, the both of you leaning into the others palms.

In what felt like forever, the two of you get closer, eyes dropping low and foreheads touching. Your eyes drop before he follows, heads tilting in sync and lips finally touching, a gentle and passionate kiss shared.

Pulling away slowly for breath, and then moving back in for another in usion, the two of you entranced by each others touch and addicted to the feeling of your hearts beating together.

After three long and loving kisses, foreheads part and you both slowly open your eyes to what had been in front of you all along.

“I see you, Y/n.” Neteyam speaks after quietly catching his breath, bringing you closer into an embrace, arms around your waist to lift you into his lap.

You relax into his body, arms coming up to wrap around his neck and shoulders, “I see you, Neteyam.”

#neteyam sully #neteyam sully x reader #atwow neteyam #neteyam x you #neteyam #neteyam sully x you #neteyam x reader #atwow x reader #atwow #atwow fluff

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damnfandomproblems · 15 days ago

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Fandom Problem #6714:

I hate it when real victims cant distinguish fiction from reality.

its perfectly normal for a victim of csem/csa/grooming to be uncomfortable with loli/shota. it is. its also completely normal for victims to explore that topic in fiction. its a healthy and valid coping mechanism. "but they called me a irl loli/shota/oppai loli/jailbate ect. when I was a child"

you were groomed. and I'm sorry that happened, but the material used to groom you does not automatically make it bad material. they were just a bad person who took advantage of your young age/underdeveloped mind/body to exploit you for their own personal desires.

it was your abuser who could not keep their hands to themselves. it was them who couldn't tell fiction from reality. it was THEM who decided it was okay to groom kids. loli/shota content did not "normalize" it. it didn't make them think its okay. that person was already fucked in the head and just happened to be into loli/shota. so its perfectly normal for you to be uncomfortable with it.

but as one victim to another I am into loli. I enjoy seeing myself as a loli. and my like of fictional content does not make me want to groom kids. In fact I hate kids. whenever I go into a loli tag and I see a real person even if they are an adult I get uncomfortable. I am capable of understanding that what i like in fiction is unrealistic in the real world and that commiting such acts would cause a lot of trauma to a child and I as a person/human being/victim could not do that to a child.

but lolis aren't real. fictional children are just that too. fictional. I don't feel bad about think about a fictional child being raped. My thoughts hurt no one, and if i were to post about it online as an artwork or writing then it is not my fault if some sick fuck decides to go after kids after consuming content i created. they were already fucked up and thats not my fault. its not your fault either. that person would have done it anyway regardless of whether loli/shota content existed. because hundreds of years ago it didnt..

I'm sorry for what you went through, and I'm not here to say "its a shame you aren't into loli/shota" because your trauma and aversion to related subjects is valid, but do not attack another victims coping mechanism, or try to blame the wrong thing. it was your abusers fault, and only their fault. not the arts fault, not the artist of the arts fault, not even the community the artist who made the art is in is at fault. and it most certainly wasn't YOUR fault.

so please for the love of fuck leave people who enjoy loli/shota content alone. especially other victims. if you cant prove someone has/is doing something to a real child then leave them alone. we who enjoy strictly fiction don't like people who use fiction as an excuse to hurt real people. those kinds of people are fucked up (its not called a "psychiatric **DISORDER**" for nothing you know) and we dont welcome them into the loli/shota community. loli/shota is meant to be just fiction, and for someone like me its also a coping mechanism. so just leave us alone and stop blaming us for what your abuser did to you.

- A very tired lolicon

#ask box submission #fandom problem 6714

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starless-nightz · 6 months ago

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Hey, can you please do a Zoë x fem!Reader, where fem!reader is the adopted child of Artemis (if that's okay) and fem!reader keeps flirting with Zoë but Zoë doesn't pick it up or do anything until Artemis creates a plan to get Zoë to acknowledge her feelings and get fem!reader and Zoë together

Zoe falling for the adopted daughter of Artemis! reader

note -> I LOVE ZOE SO MUCH AHHHHH!! Btw in every one of my Zoe or Artemis fics the hunters can date each other.

warnings -> none.

content includes -> fluff, denial, Artemis helps.

Zoe has been by Artemis’ side for so many centuries, she has seen hunters come and go, yet she has never been quite smitten with you, a hunter Artemis took in as her own, even giving you some of her divine blood so you would be immortal even if you leave the hunters

Zoe has noticed how you acted differently with her then with the other hunters, but she didn’t think too much about it, after all you are her mistresses daughter, you were probably only nice to her because she has been your mothers companion for years

Artemis slowly grew tired of watching you try and flirt with Zoe just so could Zoe just discard it as friendly compliments, she knows that Zoe is smitten with you, even tho she doesn’t even realize it, but everyone else knew, she she send both of you on a mission so you two would realize it

You knew what your mother was trying to do, but you knew Zoe was too stubborn and that she would never admit to liking you

That was until you almost died during the mission, causing Zoe to realize what she felt for you, but she didnt say anything about it until you two came back to camp

Zoe first asked Artemis for her premission to ask you to be her lover, Artemis agreed, jumping in her mind because she succeded into making Zoe realize her feelings, Zoe would prepear a whole speech for her confession, but before she could even say half of it you jumped on her and kisses her, telling her that you will be her girlfriend

#zoe #zoe x reader #zoe nightshade x reader #zoe nightshade #pjo #pjo x reader #percy jackson and the olympians x reader #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson

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definitelyisd1ce · 8 months ago

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“Bad dog !”

K. Ryuguji — Tokyo Revengers.

Synopsis : Going back to Kenny’s room after a Toman Meeting, was just supposed to be a normal hangout like normal people. But instead, it turned into a situation where you fuck like animals.

Content Warnings!

contains the following ; heavy smut , muzzled!draken, switch!reader & switch!draken (if you squint.), heavy praise and light degradation, overstimulation (again, if you squint.)

fem!reader experiments with Draken basically lol.

This content is for those who wish to read it, though it is heavily recommended that you are 18+. I have no control over what you read, nor is it my business. Read at your own discretion.

WC; 2.2K !

Viewer Discretion Advised. <3

Being on top of Draken in his lap differs from what you had planned after the Toman meeting. It was just a simple,

"Hey, Y/n. Do you want to come back to my place and hang out for a while?" he asked, dumb puppy dog eyes on display.

And that was that. Now, here you are making out, exploring each other's bodies, and getting occasional nibbles from the blond.

After the second or third lip bite and him dragging it out with his teeth, you pulled back with your eyebrow raised and a light dazed smirk. As you did, his tough yet gentle hands graciously ran up your sides and squeezed, halting your sudden breakaway from his lips.

"What?" He pondered, eyes casting over your flushed skin and taking every bit of you.

It was no secret that you, too, had the hots for each other. If anything, everyone knew you did before you came to the conclusion yourselves. It was just here recently, in the past three or four months, that you and Ken began to get a lot closer outside of Toman (thanks, Mikey).

"S'nothing." You grinned, running your hands over his black tanktop-clad shoulders. You couldn't help but bite your own lip at the sight of him slightly reclined against the wall, completely relaxed. No one in their right mind would think that a guy that was raised in a brothel, would have so much contentment and peace within themselves; but Draken changed your opinion on that incredulously fast after you started talking.

"Just trying to see why you're biting me." You continued after a brief moment of silence and admiring him. A hearty snicker left his lips as he pulled himself forward, gracing his plush lips over your shoulder, causing a light shudder and whimper to leave you. But soon, it became cut off and turned into a gasp after he bit into your shoulder. After releasing you from his teeth, he sucked a light bruise into the spot to soothe it.

"Y'taste so sweet ma.. that's why." He cooed in faux innocence, pulling back to look at you. He looked back up at you, hugging you back close to his body to continue peppering, kissing up against your neck.

He acted (and looked) like a dog that loved to play and test the limits. This was the limit he was beginning to test.

The light kisses slowly began to get more sensual, Draken getting more handsy and grabby at your loungewear, which only consisted of a loose t-shirt that was more or less his that you stole and a pair of leggings.

"Might have to muzzle ya' if you keep doing it." You murmured, leaning your head back as he kissed up your neck into more erogenous spots. Featherlight moans hastily fell off your tongue into the small room, the noises leaking into Drakens ears and sending blood rushing straight south. Things might have been the same for you as you felt the all too familiar arousal starting to pool at the core between your thighs.

"Ken.." you whined quietly, fingers trailing over his prominent back muscles and forcing yourself not to push your hips into his groin to create friction. He might as well not have been listening as his tongue dragged itself up your jugular, made its way to your earlobe, and softly bit down on it.

"Hm?" he answered back low and sweetly, pushing his half-hard cock up into your clothed cunt.

You pulled back to look at him, eyes half-lidded and glossy with your mouth slightly agape as you took into account that he bit you. He bit you again.

You shook your head and started to reach under the for a specific box of toys he kept in case one of the brothel women needed anything from it. After a little digging, you pulled out an all-black muzzle, holding it up between you and Draken for you both to view.

After silence, Draken spoke up in a reluctant yet confused tone after peering through the holes of the muzzle at you on the other side.

"Y'were being serious?" he asked in small tone. He won't ever admit it, but deep down, he felt mildly threatened about being muzzled.

"Of course I was, but you don't have to do it, Kenny. You look scared." You teased, hanging it off your finger.

Draken looked at you as you put him and the word scared in the same sentence, now beginning to feel challenged. He leaned in to kiss you, confirming in the kiss that he wouldn't mind doing this with you.

He pulled away after a few seconds, dragging out your bottom lip again and smirking at you.

"Never scared, baby. I'll do anything that I wanna do." He muttered, reaching for the hem of your loose shirt and pulling it over your head as his eyes raked over your crafted figure. He haphazardly tossed somewhere on the floor and started to use his broad hands to grope you. His rough, calloused hands met with your soft, delicate skin, which was his favorite part about you.

You whimpered into the air as he began to get more desperate and rutted his bulge into the inside of your thigh. By now, your panties have started to cling to your cunt as your slick began to seep out of you.

Draken hoisted you up and slid your leggings down, you compliantly following along and kicking them off beside his bed. As of now, you sit in Draken's lap in a tiny sports bra and tight cotton briefs that run around the fat of your ass and thighs.

You reached for his tank top and pulled it off of him, his fair tan skin on display with scars over his shoulders and abdomen. You didn't mean to stare, but by the time you realized you were, Draken's index finger and thumb were already grasping your chin and tilting your head to make you look into his eyes.

"You like what you see, mama?" he taunted, hands resting on your chest. His little tease only caused you to roll your eyes playfully and pull his braid a little. You stood up onto your knees and gawked down at Draken while simultaneously reaching for the muzzle. You kissed him once more and ran your thumb over his cheek.

"Ready?" you asked, undoing it and waiting for his answer. It took him a while, but he eventually nodded and gave a verbal 'Yes, Ma'am,' then proceeded to have the muzzle over his mouth, the buckle being battened down to his comfortability.

You pulled back and looked at your work, holding a giggle as she saw the man before her, restrained to some form. You rubbed over his skin some more before sliding between his legs and freeing his excited dick from his sweatpants and boxers, throwing them to the ground as you gave his length lazy strokes.

Ken had a guttural groan release from his throat. At the same time, his head fell back, and his hips automatically thrust up into your hand to create more friction, making you grin as you watched him. You gave minor kitten licks on his tip, the tiny beads of his essence gracing your tongue as he squirmed under your touch.

Draken, meanwhile, writhed. He tried his best to contain his volume, though the muzzle muffled half of it anyway. He kept his hands at his sides, fighting the urge to grab Y/n's hair and force his girth down her throat and pleasure himself. But alas, he played coy and decided to be a good boy.

You kept teasing his poor cock, his voice bouncing between low groans and needy whimpers.

"P-please.. more.." he begged quietly, discreetly trying to slide more into your mouth and failing, making your head come back up.

"Aw, is my poor muzzle mutt needy?" you cooed in sympathetic empathy, not expecting much of a response from the man beneath you. However, Draken had had enough and needed you—here and now.

You would've thought your life flashed before your eyes before he snatched you up and had you on your tummy underneath him. He clawed at your briefs until they made it to your knees, and his cockhead was prodding at your weeping hole.

"Yeah? We'll see who's the mutt and gonna be barking all over m'cock.." he sputtered, a menacing tone hiding behind his words as he slid into you with a high-chasing endeavor. Groans and moans of satisfaction and pleasure left the both of you in unison, light quivers and shakes irking your nerves. He eased his way in, 7 inches of pure brute meeting your hungry and aroused walls in passion.

You felt like you were being split in two, being impaled on his dick with barely any prep, but you had no one to blame but yourself for it because you teased him up to this point.

He bottomed out inside you, pushing the base of your spine down to your face and ass up ultimately. Your ass met the base of his pelvic bone like a perfect puzzle piece, and he already felt like he was near leaking euphoria.

"Are you good down there, sweet girl?" he asked, leaning some of his weight on your back to grunt his question shakily into your ear. Due to his state, he couldn't bite or nibble on the shell of your ear like he normally would, so he had to do his best not to take it off.

You nodded shakily, eyes nearly in the back of your head already, and wavered breaths fell out of your mouth. Draken took this as an opportunity to take both your arms and lock them into his behind your head—a full Nelson.

Your eyes widened, and a protest started to form, but it was cut short as a moan fell out instead. Draken started rutting into you, rocking in and out of you mercilessly with haste. You could feel the carnal desire he had radiating, and here he was, fucking into you like some animal.

'A-Ah~! Kenny.. s..slow down~!" you beckoned, resting your head into his cologne-ridden pillow and whining into it. The wet squelches and the soft claps you guys helped each other make was all that he was focused on. Ryuguji felt inclined to give you the most earth-shattering orgasm; he was going to make you feel like this was a punishment for muzzling him.

"N-nuh uh.. you're going to lay there.." he huffed, getting close to your ear to almost growl into it, "and take it all f'me.." he continued, his girth pushing further in, possibly even kissing your cervix.

If you weren't panicking then, you were definitely panicking now.

High-pitched squeaks left your lips as you babbled incoherently about how big he was, how fast he was going, things he'd heard once or twice in his life.

His hips snapped ferociously at your rear, similarly as if it was looking for something within you.

The continuity of his pace started to seamlessly start the searing knot in your stomach, an all-knowing indicator that you were close. That feeling made you absentmindedly start pulling yourself forward to avoid the inevitable, which Draken caught onto and wasn't going to let happen.

"Don't r-run now.. you started this.. and y're gonna finish for me.." he purred, using your tangled limbs to pull you back and send his tip ramming into your sweet spot.

A lurching squeal came barreling out, and your eyes squeezed shut, a slight gush spritzing from your cunt.

"F~fuck!" you moaned, getting closer to your orgasm that Draken was about to rip from you. Kenny's moans got a little higher, his once steady thrusts turning erratic and soul-searching. His forehead met your back, everything about him becoming frigid and feral.

"Cumming for me, mama?" he asked, reaching his hand below and rubbing lazy pressure into your clit.

As if on cue, your voice cut out, and you began to cum on his cock; heavy pants, searing whines, and grips upon the sheets kept you conscious as you began to see stars. Ken started to release himself, the grip and the feeling of your tight walls squeezing his girth so hard, he was almost afraid your stuffed cunt wouldn't let go of him.

"L-look at you..!" Draken started to praise, filling your hole with his milky seed, taunting you, "whining and panting like a needy little bitch in heat.. who the mutt now?" he asked, bringing his palm to lightly choke you and force your eye contact.

The only thing you could do was roll your eyes, fucking yourself back onto him as he thrust you through your orgasm.

"Come on, answer me," he started, giving your cheek pressurized love taps. "Who's the mutt now?"

You looked at him, sweet, fucked-out doe eyes silently begging for a bit of mercy. Once you finally realized he was waiting for an answer, you sputtered out a meek little 'Me... I'm the mutt..', which earned a shit-eating grin and a complete halt to his movements.

He let your arms go and pulled out slowly, his half-hard cock laying to the side as he watched globs of his cum spill out in urgency.

He licked his thumb and chased the fluid back up your puffy slit, stuffing it back into your hole, making you shudder and whimper from the sudden stimulation.

"Good girl," he praised, taking off the muzzle and kissing your back. "Maybe I'll muzzle you next time. This was fun."

silly little a/n 😅 : hey guys! this is my first ever tumblr fic! do be kind as i am new to this and don’t hesitate to throw out ideas , suggestions , and overall feedback! if i do well, more fics will be coming in the future! thank you :)

divider by — @benkeibear

#tokyo rev x you #tokyo rev x y/n #tokyo rev x reader #ken ryuguji #ken ryuuguji x reader #draken #draken x reader #draken x y/n #tr smut #smut #tokyo revengers

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drabblesandsnippets · 8 months ago

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Snippet #2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Plus-size female character (name removed)

Background: Another edited scene from an AU soulmate story. No snap/blip. After leaving Wakanda, Bucky moves to Brooklyn and joins the Avengers. He meets a woman who has premonitions and they fall in love.

Summary: Short snippet of Bucky helping his girlfriend with her anxiety.

Warnings: 18+ Only. Sexual content. Mention of anxiety.

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Her skin feels like it’s crawling, like there’s a current of energy just beneath her skin, itching to be released somehow.

She knows the feeling all too well, and even though her anxiety has been better lately, she’s not sure it’s something she’ll ever be free of.

A quick glance at the clock tells her she needs to try to go back to sleep, but the deep breaths and tapping exercises are useless. The anxiety just keeps rising.

The feelings intensify with each slight movement of her limbs as she searches for a more comfortable position until it becomes too overwhelming. She can’t lay here anymore.

Just as she’s about to throw off the covers, Bucky’s hand brushes across her bare back. “You okay?” His tender touch and gravelly voice send a shiver down her spine, immediately making her curl up more, encouraging him to keep going.

Not that he ever needs any encouragement, he’d happily spend hours touching her, enjoying the feel of her softness underneath his fingers. Bucky knows her better than anyone ever has and it only takes a few words for him to understand exactly what she’s going through.

“Firm or soft?” he asks, closing the distance that sleep had created, his thighs fitting perfectly against hers.

The moment the word ‘firm’ leaves her lips, the heat of his body presses against her and he wraps his arm her waist to hold her tight. They’ve done this dance so many times, she wonders why she still tries to handle things on her own.

“I’ve got you,” he murmurs, kissing her shoulder blade, the familiar gentle scratch of his beard helping to channel her focus away from her anxiety. It’s not enough though. She needs more, and the subtle movement of her hips and slight tension in her thighs makes her intensions clear.

Bucky happily obliges, his vibranium hand sliding up to take a hold of her hair, reminding her how well he knows her, and her body. “Yes,” she breathes.

The soft exhale of such a simple word causes Bucky’s cock to twitch between them and he rewards her with a soft groan, gripping a fistful of her hair, sending a burst of pleasure straight to her core.

“Is that what my woman needs?” he asks, all evidence of sleep gone from his voice, his desire for her obvious. “To help her forget about everything except the way I can make her feel?”

There’s nothing subtle about the way she grinds back against him this time and he lets out an approving grunt, his cock already hard and ready to go. There’s no doubt that she’s wet for him, the smell of her arousal making him dizzy with lust.

True to the nature of their relationship though, he won’t take this further until she’s vocal about what she wants, no matter what her body is telling him.

“I need you to use your words,” he reminds her, his free hand inching closer to her breast with every heavy breath she takes, a teasing promise of what’s to come. “Do you want me to keep touching you, or should I stop?”

---------------------------

Main Masterlist

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marshmallowprotection · 1 year ago

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Jihyun's new birthday CG is out! I am surprised that it doesn't fulfill the theme that we have used thus far, the theme of the characters being children. However, I'm going to comment on something that I don't think anybody is going to talk about since this is V, after all.

First of all, you guys should be jumping up and down at the moment because this is the first time he's ever had a kiss picture. I am so sorry it took this long for you guys to get a sweet kiss with your very tragic artist, but this is your lucky day. I never thought he was going to get kiss contents so I am pleasantly surprised in the best way.

Second of all, as I saw this picture last night, the first thing that came to mind was that whatever painting was going to be on his easel, was going to be something significant in my head no matter what.

This is just my conclusion, and it's something that I'm going to continue to keep in my brain no matter what since it can't be proven one way or the other, but I do believe this painting is a recreation of the one he ripped to shreds after that final argument with his mother.

Here's the crucial detail, he's not trying to recreate a one-for-one copy of what he created. I believe he is revisiting it because what is a better homage to his childhood than going back to the very thing that caused the Catalyst event in his life in the first place? He denied himself the ability to be the painter he wanted to be when he was young, and he said awful things to his mother that he could never take back.

Revisiting something he tore to shreds would allow him the opportunity to have something substantial to look at, to say to himself, “I am no longer denying my creative process, and as I remake this painting that my mother loved, I want nothing more than to be able to feel that same liberating feeling I felt and tried to crush because I was too insecure to live my dream.”

Even the event is him learning how to be a better partner who communicates with you. That's something he has to do in his good ending, and that's where this takes place. I want nothing more than for him to finally have some peace in his heart about what happened to his mother, and now that he's come full circle and learned that her sacrifice wasn't a sentiment he needed to take to heart as a lesson to never abandon people, even if those people hurt you.

That wasn't why his mother sacrificed her life for him. She did that because she loved him and that was her only child. She was his mother and she loved him no matter what. The horrible words he said out of insecurity were never something she was upset about, she was saddened, more than anything.

She wanted her son to follow his dreams, even if one day he couldn't continue those dreams.

Much like how she had to stop her passionate career as a violinist because she wasn't sure how to continue playing after losing much of her hearing. But she still got to spend so many years of her life following her passion, and even if she couldn't continue it, she still had the chance to do it. She didn't want her son to snuff out his own passion well before he even tried. So, by revisiting that painting, doing it again, and putting back in what he's learned over the years, it's the opportunity of a lifetime to make peace with himself.

He's living as himself and I think that's a nice way to tie in the childhood theme without actually having him be a child. It's not like we haven't had a photo of him as a child on the title screen before, actually, one of his last birthdays gave us a photo of him and his mother.

#character analysis #mystic messenger #mysme #mysticmessenger #mm #jihyun kim #v jihyun kim #kim jihyun

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bonesandthebees · 10 months ago

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Okay fuck it. I think scrolling for hours today is enough DJFKGKFK I'll just log back out. I wanna focus my energy on more positive things

Im so gonna log back in the minute my friend sends me another tweet but HDKGKGKD no. I will do my best. He's not worth our time man.

Okay one more tiny rant about him and then I promise I'll stop I just OOOHHMYGODHFJGKG HE JUST. I had so much hope. That. He would reply and it wouldn't fix things, I wouldn't go back to watching him or anything but at the very least I could get closure that like? Maybe his closer friends would be able to heal and move on? Idk if that's parasocial or whatever but he was such a big role model for me the past few years I really had hope that at least some parts of it were real, you know? And instead we just find out that he not only did these shitty things but didn't fucking learn and did it to other people too and??? It's really really upsetting that he created this safe space, this community of people who were all so lovely while just being. Fake. The whole time. And he doesn't even have the gull to properly apologise and I just??#?# idk what to do with my emotions LMFAO I'd finally started to feel better and like move on but now today I'm just angry again grgrgfhfjdkdk and I totally get that like him being a complete dickhead is easier in a lot of ways bc there's no. Doubting it. Or anything. Like there's no redeeming him. And we can get closure from that. But fuckkk it hurts so badly and the tl is a mess of ppl being like "well this person would never do me wrong" and then ppl being like "fuck every YouTuber ever actually. We can't ever be sure we know them" and LIKE!$?_?$?

Dude I am so conflicted on so many levels rn I feel like my entire world has just been yeeted into the sun LMFAODKFKFKFK

Anyways. Anyways. Thank you bee. Ur tumblr is the only account w a brain rn fr lmfaodjfkfkfks

I get it, I'm fucking furious at him. he had a chance to at least own up to what he did. I wouldn't have gone back to consuming his content, but I could be somewhat at peace knowing he was taking steps towards being better.

I don't want to think it was all a lie, because abusers aren't all completely evil people. the thing is, wilbur is human. a very shitty human, but human nonetheless. and we can't know for sure how healthy or unhealthy every relationship in his life has ever been and I think overanalyzing that or trying to figure out what was fake and what was real isn't really our business or worth our time. wilbur is a guy who has hurt a lot of people, but also refuses to recognize the hurt he's caused. that's it.

I do hate the dichotomy I'm seeing between people trying to prop up their own favorite white boys on a pedestal because apparently people never learn, but also going out and saying every content creator is inherently evil and we shouldn't trust any of them. these people are human. they're all going to fuck up at some point, some worse than others. and sometimes they'll fuck up in a way that they can move past and we can forgive them for, and other times they'll fuck up in a way that shows they shouldn't have the platform they have. they're not all terrible, and they're not all perfect. that's what we should be keeping in mind for the future.

#ask #icyfox17 #wilbur situation

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imaginespazzi · 9 months ago

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Part 4: The Art of Letting Go

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7

Only know you love her when (she lets you) go

(In which a still very sadistic writer make things a lot worse but only so they can get a little bit better)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining, Hurt with very little comfort

Words: 7.9K

TW: Car Accidents, Panic Attacks, Swearing

A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 I know I'm very, very late with this and I love you all for being so patient. I don't really know how I feel about this chapter but it is what it is. Logistical details are probably a little off but I need things to work for the plot, so try and ignore that. Per usual I did edit (very loosely and I'll probably go back over it later), there are probably typos anyways. And as always, let me know what you liked, what you didn't, and what you'd like to see in the future. Happy reading lovelies and let's get a W this weekend. <3

December 2023

A week or so after they get back from the Cayman Islands, Azzi feels like she’s been sleep-walking through life, everything around her hazy and dull. She religiously sticks to a routine of eat-study-practice-sleep. Except well, sleep isn’t really sleeping. It’s her brain conjuring images of blonde hair and blue eyes and Azzi forcing herself to wake-up from a nightmare that used to be her favourite dream.

She doesn’t tell anyone what happened, lying to herself it’s because it would be embarrassing and not because it would mean having to face the truth. Still, it doesn’t mean that her teammates can’t piece together little bits. There must be something quite sinister about the air around her, because none of her normally nosy and eager-to-help sisters try to weasel any information out of Azzi. They act like they always have, only sharing worried looks behind her back when the façade of i’m doing fine slips momentarily when she thinks no one’s watching.

And then that façade goes to hell over the span of a couple of hours.

It starts with the inevitable breakup with Zoe. At first Azzi avoids it, making up excuses as to why she can’t see her girlfriend. Selfishly, there’s a part of her that wants to keep Zoe, keep a girl who would never leave, never make her feel anything less than (or more than) just content. But it’s not fair, Azzi knows that, and it’s why she practises her it’s not you, it’s me speech to perfection in front of the mirror. When she goes to message Zoe that she's coming over, the text chain causes a pinch of guilt in her heart at the contrast between her girlfriend’s hopeful tone versus her own nonchalant one. And Azzi thinks that Zoe will never really understand just how similar the two of them are, stuck at wanting someone who would always let them down. Only, Azzi will let Zoe free but when it comes to her herself, she’s pretty sure she’s destined to be trapped forever.

It’s embarrassing to admit that Azzi remembers the apartment in Storrs that she’d visited barely a handful of times a lot more than she remembers the apartment she’s currently in, the one that belongs to her girlfriend. Zoe sits rigidly on the couch with the same reserved, guarded expression she’s had since she’d opened the door, clearly aware of what was about to happen. Her foot taps incessantly as the silence between them drags on.

“You deserve better,” Azzi says finally, keeping her eyes firmly locked on the floor.

“No,” Zoe’s voice is cold, “don’t say shit like that. It’s a cop out. It’s the shit people say to make themselves feel better-”

“Zoe-”

“Don’t be a fucking coward Azzi. Look me in the eye and say it, say exactly what you’re here to.”

Azzi doesn’t want to do any of that. She wants to crumble to the ground and let it swallow her until she’s buried so far away from the mess she’s created. But she owes Zoe this. When she does look at Zoe, there’s this look in the other girl’s eyes that Azzi had never thought herself capable of evoking in anyone and she has to swallow away the bile that rises in her throat, disgusted by her own self.

“I’m breaking up with you,” Azzi whispers. Her words linger in the air, like shrapnel after an explosion. Zoe flinches, a single tear trickling down her face.

“There it is,” the Californian says quietly, the ghost of an ironic smile playing on her lips, “I knew it was coming but damn- there it is.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“For what-” Zoe cuts herself, “no actually don’t- don’t answer that. I think I know.”

Azzi draws in a deep breath, ready to confess, “I need to tell-”

“Please-”

“Z-”

“Please,” Zoe sobs, “please don’t tell me. I don’t wanna hear it okay? I don’t- I don’t want to hate you Azzi. It’s too much and I don’t- I just- I’m so tired of feeling so much for you when you don’t- when you feel so little for me.”

“That’s not true,” Azzi counters helplessly, her words ringing hollow to her own ears.

“Fucking hell you just ended it Azzi, you don’t have to pretend anymore. And it’s okay because I get it. You can’t feel any more than what little you do for me because- because you’ve already given the rest of it away. And it’s not- it’s not like I didn’t know you know? I only ever met you because you were crying over her. You only let me into your life because you missed her. And now you have her,” Zoe says wistfully.

It’s terrible the way everything else becomes white noise as Azzi’s ear latches on the last sentence, a sentence that couldn’t be any further away from the truth. She was prepared for the accusations, for Zoe to hurl every curse word in the book at her, but this, the unintended reminder that she was giving up on soft, sweet, gentle Zoe for something that she didn’t have, hurts far more than any words could.

“This isn’t about-”

Zoe’s quick to cut Azzi off, pushing herself off the couch they had been sharing, trying to put even more space in between them, “please do not insult my intelligence by finishing that sentence. I deserve that much at least.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know you are because I know- I know who you are Azzi and I know you’re a good person and that’s why- that’s why I don’t wanna know okay? Whatever you did- whatever happened- just let me- just let me have this. Let me remember you as someone good- someone great,” Zoe pleads.

“If that’s what you want Zo,” Azzi answers weakly, the guilty clawing at her heart. She doesn’t think she deserves to be remembered like that, doesn’t think she’s worthy of being thought of with fondness, not anymore.

Zoe doesn’t make any acknowledgement of Azzi having spoken as she starts to pace, “I should have known. You know the day I met her this summer, I got it- the appeal- I got it immediately. She has this aura, this charm. She just- she just fucking glows you know? And she’s just- she’s this huge entity and so are you and I’m just,” she lets out a hollow laugh as she shrugs, “I’m just a girl from Stockton, California.”

“And you’re amazing,” Azzi puts up a hand when Zoe tries to cut her off again, “you are. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to thank you for what you did for me last year. You could have walked away that day and maybe- maybe one day you’ll think you should have. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Zoe. You do deserve better. It’s not a cop out. It’s the truth.”

Since she was younger, Azzi’s always hated endings. This time is no different. The bitter truth is that she probably won’t miss her girlfriend, but she will miss the friend that had gotten her through one of the toughest years of her life. Slowly, Azzi picks herself off of the couch and walks over to a still Zoe, squeezing her left hand once before heading towards the door.

“Azzi,” Zoe calls out, just as Azzi has one foot out the door, “I hope it works out for the two of you. You and Paige always did just seem inevitable.”

***

She blames the fact she’s currently stuck in the terrible LA traffic, with the word inevitable ringing in her ears, for the way her fingers continuously flicker over the green call button under Paige’s name. Zoe saying her name had been the first time in a week that Azzi had even let herself, in consciousness at least, think of the blonde properly. And now that it had been unleashed, whispers of Paige, Paige, Paige echo through every crevice of skull. The pain and anger that she’d been trying to shield herself from, come barraging into her heart as she’s held captive once again by thoughts of her best friend.

It would be a lie to say that Azzi hadn’t been hoping for a call or a text to come through. She’d waited two days with bated breath for a friendly quip that would lead them back to their safe haven of just pretend. Instead it was as if they were back to being who they had been before summer of 2022 all over again. Back to being nothing. But this time Azzi had been adamant that if Paige was going to cut her off again, she wouldn’t fight it, not this time. Apparently that resolve was never meant to last and Azzi feels a little pathetic with how desperately she needs to hear Paige’s voice, how desperately she wants to try again.

The traffic clears just as she presses call and maybe that should have been a sign. Azzi’s not a bad driver per say, but as her dad always said, no one’s a good driver when they’re distracted. The phone rings for too long and she should take that as her next sign and accept it as Paige not wanting to talk, but she lets it continue to ring anyway, as she turns onto a more secluded road. And then-

“Hello,” the voice is unfamiliar and Azzi doesn’t really know Paige’s teammates, beyond Caroline, that well but she’s pretty certain this one doesn’t belong to any of them.

“Hi uh- who is this?” she manages to get out as her grip tightens on the steering wheel.

“Oh um- this is Rose, Paige’s friend” comes the reply, the word friend said with a sultry lilt and Azzi feels her skin prickle. Hang up.

“Why are you answering Paige’s phone?” her tone is far more accusatory than she’d like it to be.

“She’s in the bathroom but she told me to,” Rose answers defensively.

Azzi hesitates, she doesn’t need to know more except, “does she know who called?”

Because surely if she did, if Paige knew it was Azzi on the other line, she wouldn’t let one of her likely random hookups answer the phone, surely Paige would know what it would do, how it would make her feel.

“Uh yeah- I told her Azzi called and she seemed pretty sure she wanted me to pick up.”

Maybe Paige does know what it would do, does know how it would make Azzi feel, maybe that’s the whole fucking point. Through the phone she can hear quiet footsteps walking closer, towards Rose. When Paige is close enough that Azzi can make out the sound of her breathing, can almost picture the way her chest is heaving, that’s when the tears finally fall, blurring her vision.

She doesn’t see the blinking headlights rushing towards her until it’s too late and then she’s swerving. The world around her erupts in motion and light and noise, everything spinning and spinning and spinning. For one moment, as she loses complete control of her car, Azzi thinks maybe this is it. And the most terrifying part of it, is that for a second, she’s not all that opposed to the idea of this being the end. It’s a singular image of her parents in her brain that has her regaining her senses and hitting the brakes as hard as she can. Her tires screech as her car barrels into a tree and her entire body jerks around in her car, her seatbelt leaving burn scars against her neck. Azzi feels her heartbeat going haywire, as everything comes to a halt.

“Oh my god, oh my god,” Rose’s panicked voice echoes.

“What?” and there’s Paige and even in this wreckage, Azzi’s heart stutters at the sound of her best friend.

“I think she crashed-”

“WHAT?” there’s frantic shuffling until, “Azzi? Azzi? Hello? Are you there? Fuck. Azzi are you okay? Please say something. C’mon Az. I know you’re there. Can you hear me? Please be okay. Azzi? Fuck, fuck, fuck. Azzi?”

Azzi opens and closes her mouth, trying to answer to the call of her name, but nothing comes out. She feels hot and cold all over at the same and she swears there’s a hand curled around her neck because she can’t fucking breathe.

“Azzi,” Paige says again desperately, “please say something.”

“P-Paige,” Azzi finally manages to stutter, her chest heaving as she gasps for air. There’s blood rushing to her ears and everything around her feels hazy.

“Azzi,” and that one syllable is wrapped in so much emotion, “I’m here okay, are you okay?”

No, Azzi thinks, I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay.

“I c-can’t breathe. I think” she grasps at her neck, “I th-think I’m having a panic attack.”

Paige curses under her breath, “okay, okay alright listen to me breathe okay? And try to match it okay?”

“O-okay,” Azzi whispers, pressing her head to her steering wheel as she tries to mimic Paige’s exaggerated deep breaths on the other end of the line.

“Good girl, you’re doing so well for me Azzi, just keep breathing okay,” Paige’s voice is far calmer than she probably is in reality, “just keep breathing with me okay.”

Azzi closes her eyes as she feels her chest slowly start to loosen up and lets herself be immersed by Paige’s soothing words of comfort. And for a second, it almost feels as if her best friend is right there with her. For a second, Azzi imagines that they’re on a whole other planet, just them in their little world, like it always should have been, like she’d once been so sure it would be. It’s a beautiful dream that reality is quick to gatecrash.

“Babe, is she okay?” Rose asks, and Azzi’s eyes fly open at the term of endearment. She’s not on a different planet. She’s alone. And Paige isn’t.

“I’m fine,” Azzi breathes out and then more firmly, “I’m fine.”

“Thank God,” Paige lets out a sigh of relief before her tone turns sour “what the actual fuck Azzi?”

Azzi winces at the loudness, pretty sure she might have a concussion from the way her head had crashed back into her headrest as she’d crashed into the tree in front of her.

“I’m fine,” she repeats assertedly, as everything around her slowly starts to make sense again. It’s not a lie really, at least not physically. There’s the potential concussion, and the litany of bruises she’s starting to feel all over her body but she’s pretty sure there’s nothing wrong internally. Well except for her stupid fucking heart but it wasn’t the accident that had fucked that organ up.

“You just crashed your fucking car, no you’re not fucking fine,” Paige yells, voice thick with tears.

“What the fuck do you care?” Azzi bites back, “sorry I interrupted your fucking night Paige. I swear it won’t happen again.”

She hangs up before Paige can say anything else, sitting deathly still for a second. And then she lets herself completely break apart.

***

74 missed calls from Paige

did u go to the hospital

pick up ur fucking phone

dude

azzi

this is not the time for this stubborn bullshit

PICK UP UR FUCKING PHONE

AZZI

just say ur ok at least

please

called ur mom

said u had a concussion and some bruising

thats not too bad

ur so fucking stupid

it could be so much worse

please pick up

AZZI FUCKING FUDD PICK UP UR PHONE

so u can call carol and not me ok

thats just fucking perfect

dude i feel like an accident > stupid fights

so maybe just pick up

or call me back

u wanna play this stupid game fine

ignore me for now

but i’mma be in dc for christmas

ur gonna have to talk to me

i know where u live

***

The box in Azzi’s arm feels freakishly heavy, like she’s holding the whole world inside of it. In a way, maybe she is. The walk up Paige’s dad’s driveway feels longer than it ever has and she’s fighting the urge to turn back with every step. As soon as she’d seen the vaguely threatening text message, Azzi had decided she would beat Paige to it. The night of the accident had put several things into perspective and Azzi was determined to finally grasp control of her own life.

It hasn’t been that long since the Cayman Island and so it hasn’t been that long since Azzi’s seen Paige. But when the door opens and she’s face to face with her best friend, despite the dread and anxiety that’s drowning her heart, Azzi still feels that beat of it’s cold but you always make me feel warm flutter in her chest. Paige smiles and Azzi’s arms wobble, drawing the blonde’s attention to the box in her arms.

“Still a couple of days till Christmas Az, a little early to give me my present,” Paige smirks lightly and Azzi feels a river of hot anger slide around her veins. After everything she’d put her through in the last couple of weeks, the fact that Paige could act so frivolous, as if they were still fine, makes Azzi see red.

Her voice is icier than the sheet of frost on the ground when she replies, “it’s not a Christmas present.”

Paige’s eyebrows knit together questioningly, “then-”

“It’s all your stuff I had lying around,” Azzi cuts in, trying to keep her voice confident and stable.

The smile disappears from Paige’s face as she studies Azzi's face, looking for some semblance of emotion beyond the blank stare.

“What?”

“All the things you’ve left at my house over the years, a couple of t-shirts, a hat, a book and a couple other things, they’re in this box,” Azzi says pointedly. She tries to hand it over but Paige is quick to move away from it, staring at the offending object as if it’s a ticking time bomb.

“What the actual fuck is going on Azzi?”

“I might have missed some things. Let me know if I have and I’ll mail them to you in the future,” Azzi recites clinically, keeping her demeanour stoic as possible “and of course I would like my things back as well. Not right now of course. You can mail them to me whenever it suits you.”

“Mail back your things? What? What the fuck are you going on about?” Paige asks, a bewildered expression taking on her face. She reaches out as if she wants to shake Azzi but seems to think better of it.

Azzi doesn’t say anything, as she sidesteps Paige into the house, putting in the utmost effort to make sure no part of herself brushes up against the older girl, knowing the inevitable burst of electricity when they touch would be enough to break her resolve. She places the box of Paige’s stuff on the coffee table in the living room, before turning back to Paige.

“I’m giving you your stuff back,” Azzi repeats, “I’m giving you what you want.”

“What I want? When did I ask for my stuff back?”

Azzi draws in a deep breath, fighting desperately against the screams of you don’t want this in her own head, “I’m giving you a clean break Paige. I’m letting you go.”

Saying those words feels a lot like free-falling. Her stomach lurches at the way Paige’s features scrunch up in pain and she’d never meant to do that, but Azzi’s so tired. She’s so tired of this push and pull, the way they seem to hurt each other every fucking time, the way things get so close to going right and then go wrong any way. The bitter truth of life, Azzi has forced herself to admit, is that it doesn’t matter how hard you fight, sometimes the darkness wins out anyway.

“You think-,” Paige stutters, clutching at her chest, “you think this is what I want?”

“Well isn’t it?”

“Of course n-”

“If I hadn’t called you that night would you have called me first Paige? If I hadn’t gotten into that stupid accident, would you even have texted me ever again?”

Paige’s silence is an answer in itself . And although Azzi had known it, she can’t deny that there’s a part of her that had posed the question hoping against hope that Paige would have answered it with a resounding yes of course. She thinks maybe she should be used to the singe of disappointment that burns her skin by now but she’s never been immune to Paige’s fire.

“That’s what I thought,” Azzi says quietly, “I’m tired of running after you Paige. I thought I was done after the Cayman Islands but then I- I don’t know- I don’t know why I called you that night when you- you clearly didn’t want that.”

“Azzi c’mon-”

“It’s my fault really. Because you've always been clear about it and I- for some reason- I just don’t listen. You were clear with it when you told me to go to UCLA and get out of your life. You were clear when you didn’t want me to come into your air BnB. You were clear when you told me to get out of the bathroom last summer. And when you left that night-,” Azzi pauses as Paige’s eyes widen, the words catching in her throat, “when you were gone that morning- every time you didn’t call- every time you didn’t text- you were always clear about it Paige and I- I’m sorry I didn’t listen.”

“You’re being really fucking unfair right now,” Paige accuses, “you’re mad because I didn’t want to be your fucking side whore? I’m so sorry I had more self-respect than that Azzi.”

Azzi blinks rapidly, her face still completely neutral, “excuse me?”

“You wanna blame me for those first two things, fine. But you have a whole ass girlfriend and you wanted me to be what? Just a girl you can fuck occasionally because you feel like it? Who the fuck do you think I am? I deserve so much better than that.”

“I don’t-”

“You wanna know why I left that morning?” Paige asks icily, “I woke up and the first thing I saw is your girlfriend’s fucking i miss you text. All that shit you said to me when I kissed you in LA about not wanting to be one of my groupies or whatever but what did you want me to be Azzi?”

When they were young and naive, the largest fight they’d ever had was about whether or not one of them had cheated in a game of horse. The allegations of cheater from a 15 year old Paige had seemed massive back then, but they pale in front of the accusations of cheater from a 22 year old Paige. It’s not that Azzi thinks she’s some prime example of a good samaritan and she can deal with people thinking she’s not all that, but it’s different when it’s Paige, it’s different to know that Paige could ever think so low of her.

“You really think I’d do that you? That I’d make you my sidepiece or whatever?”

“What else am I supposed to think about you fucking me while you have a girlfriend?” Paige asks exasperatedly and Azzi flinches at the repeated use of the profanity.

“Had.”

“What?”

Azzi grips the hem of her shirt, trying to focus her eyes anywhere but Paige, “I had a girlfriend. Past tense.”

“You- you broke up with Zoe?” Paige’s expression morphs from anger to confusion before finally settling on realisation.

“I never wanted you to be a side piece. You think I don’t know you deserve better than that?” Azzi rubs her temple, as she tries to keep herself steady on her feet, “I know seeing that text hurt you but it’s not like you didn’t know I had a girlfriend. But- but if you’d just waited for me to wake up, god if you’d just talked to me once instead of jumping to conclusions then-”

“Then what?” Paige breathes out and Azzi doesn’t miss the little spurt of hope that’s taken birth on the older girl's face.

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” Azzi shakes her head, “that’s also past tense now.”

The thing with Paige is that anger is her protective mechanism. When she gets a little close to losing control of her emotions, or feeling too much, it’s what she falls back on so it’s not surprising that her tone is harsh when she speaks again.

“How the fuck was I supposed to guess you were gonna break up with your girlfriend Az c’mon,” Paige takes a step towards her, “I’m not a fucking mind reader.”

“I never asked you to read my mind. I just- all I’ve ever wanted- is for you to just have a little faith in me- in us,” Azzi’s voice breaks on the last word.

“That’s not fair. I was really fucking hurt Azzi-” Paige begins, her voice pleading.

“And then you tried to hurt me back on purpose,” Azzi spits out as the façade of neutrality completely slips off, “you knew it was me calling and you had that girl pick up any way knowing exactly how it would make me feel.”

“Azzi,” baby blue eyes sparkle with tears and Azzi has to force herself to look away, because no matter how much she’s convinced that this is what needs to happen, seeing Paige break, will drown Azzi and she’s barely floating as it is.

“I don’t enjoy hurting you Paige,” Azzi says softly, “and I don’t think you enjoy hurting me but for the last couple of years, I feel like that’s all we’ve been doing and I- I can’t do it anymore.”

It’s not something she’d ever admitted out loud, or even to herself, but once upon a time Azzi used to think her and Paige would have one of those stories, one of those soft, sappy fairytale-esque stories that had no chance of an ending that wasn’t happily ever after. And she hopes that maybe in another universe, maybe they did have that. Maybe in a universe where she chose UConn and things never went wrong in the first place. Maybe in that universe, they’re happy. But in this universe, they seem to be destined for misery. And Azzi thinks the saddest tragedy of it all, is that it feels like she’s ending a story that never even really got the chance to start.

“So that’s it then, you’re walking away- you’re just- you’re fucking giving up?” Paige says bitterly, crossing her arms protectively over her chest and Azzi feels a flicker of annoyance light up against her ribcage.

“Isn’t that what you did?” she accuses, “Is that not what you do? You walk away every. single. time. because you can’t deal with things getting just a little too fucking hard. And what? I’m just supposed to wait until you come back? Or chase after you like a pathetic little puppy?”

Paige flinches at the hardness in Azzi’s tone, mouth opening and closing but nothing escaping.

“I’m so fucking tired of always being the one calling, the one showing up, the one trying. I’m so fucking tired of fighting for us when it feels like you’re fighting against me,” Azzi pauses,trying to blink away the tears she’d tried so hard to keep locked behind her eyelids, “if you wanna call that me giving up then okay, but I don’t think you realize just how fucking hard I want to hold on.”

Azzi’s not sure if it’s the way her voice cracks, or the absolute misery behind every word she says, but Paige's hard and cold expression is gone so fast it gives her whiplash. And then her Paige, the girl with the warm eyes and soft heart is back, looking at Azzi in a way that makes her want to believe in them all over again. Arms outstretched, Paige takes a step forwards and there’s nothing more Azzi wants then melt into them. It takes everything in her to step away instead. For a moment there’s nothing but them staring at each other in silence, a moment where Azzi tries to memorise everything about Paige just in case this is the last time. And then-

“What if,” Paige begins softly, “what if I entered the draft?”

Azzi looks at her in confusion, “what does that have to do with anything?”

“The Sparks have the second pick, it’s where I’m projected to go,” Paige bites at her lips, peering at Azzi through her eyelashes.

The Sparks. The Los Angeles Sparks.

“Is that what you want?” Azzi asks quietly, trying to prevent her brain from already coming up with dreams of stupid picnic dates at the park during sunset.

Paige hesitates. And it’s enough for those dreams to crumble, because Azzi knows Paige just a little too well, knows exactly what that little bit of hesitation means.

“I haven’t decided yet but if- if there was a reason that I should-”

“There isn’t,” Azzi says firmly, “it’s not what you want.”

“I don’t even fucking know what I want,” Paige argues and that doesn’t make it any better.

“Then figure it out,” Azzi yells, frustratedly rubbing her hands over her face, “I won’t deal with you fucking resenting me and running away again in a couple of years- hell in a couple of months- because you regret your fucking decision.”

“I wouldn’t-”

“Please just stop. It's done. I’ve made up my mind” Azzi begs, exhaustion flooding into her body, “just- just let this go please.”

Paige meets her eyes with a stubborn fire, “I don’t fucking want to.”

“Well tough luck because I do.”

“Azzi,” Paige pleads desperately, trying to block Azzi as she beelines for the door, but the younger girl is quick to push past her.

“Goodbye Paige.”

***

December 2024

azzi please just let me in

ur parent are saying u dont wanna see me

and i get it

but i can fix this i swear

i know u know im here

please fucking let me in

i fucked up

i know

im so fucking sorry

but dude we can fix this

just

can u just fucking let me in

i really wanna see u

i really wanna talk

can we just fucking talk

please

merry christmas az

u know what fuck u actually

didnt mean that sorry

i was just mad

u make me really fucking mad

christmas breaks almost over

i have to go back soon and ik u do too

we should talk before that

ur so fucking stubborn

but so am i

im not giving up

i won’t

January 2024

i miss you

ur really fucking annoying

not texting me back

but its fine

i’ll just fucking spam

i had an ok day today

practice was kinda ass

not me tho

i was great

as always

bet i made more threes than you did

bro im watching ur game

and

what the fuck kinda airball did u just throw up

get in the gym az jfc

oh that was a good pullup

not better than mine

but decent

been a fucking month azzi

just fucking call me back

or text me idk

i miss u

sooooooooooo

hows ur day

good? good.

hows mine?

oh kinda shit

lets see

we lost in front of all these uconn legends

to their fucking rival

everyones saying uconn fucking sucks

some people are saying i suck

they might not be completely wrong

now would be a good time to reply az

like maybe make me feel better

fuck u actually

what the fuck am i doing

idk if u even read these

February 2024

idk maybe i should stop

like maybe only fucking psychos do this

but idk bro

i feel like ur gonna text me back eventually

well sc was a shit show

i mean we knew it but holy shit

i really wanna talk to you about it

it’d mainly just be me fucking yelling

and u giggling

fuck i miss ur laugh

i miss you

idk if u just ignore these

so idk if ur gonna even see this

but

i wanted to tell you first

before u saw it from somewhere else

im staying at uconn

u were right

i didnt want to leave yet

i want my 4 years

but

just dont think it means i didnt mean what i said

that i dont wanna be in la with u

i do

its not about that

i just need to do whats best for me

and thats staying here

fuck

i get what u meant now

u didnt pick ucla over me

fuck fuck fuck

im sorry az

is this how u felt

when i didn’t text u back

because it’s actually fucking hell

i miss you so fucking much dude

i’m so sorry

i’m really fucking sorry azzi

for all of it

please just call me back

March 2024

last pac-12 tournament mvp!!

dude i’m so proud of you

we also won

idk if u heard

it wasnt easy either

everything just always fucking goes wrong

fucking pisses me off

but oh well

u know i dont even like texting

idk how many messages ive sent u

its gotta be hundreds atp

insane shit on my part

tf is wrong with me

did u see the bracket

see u in the final 4 azzi

April 2024

i fucking told u

i told you id see u in the final four

fucking meant it

fuck

gonna kick yalls ass

revenge szn

we’re built different in march

cleveland here we fucking go

but also

cant avoid me anymore

i cant fucking wait to see you az

***

UConn 87 UCLA 84

There’s six seconds left to go and UCLA has control of the ball. The game today had been completely different from the on down in the Cayman Islands. That one had featured a UCLA team that had dominated from start to finish versus a UConn team still reeling from multiple injuries. This time around, UCLA seemed to have lost some of their shine and UConn had been on a tear. She would never give Paige the satisfaction of knowing it but her stupid goading, her incessant smirking because UConn seemed poised to win handedly, had gotten in Azzi’s head for most of the game. The fourth quarter had seen UConn enter with a 11 point lead that had held study until the last two and a half minutes when something had finally clicked for Azzi.

“Told you, you should have fucking come to UConn,” Paige had sneered while casually dribbling the ball and that had been enough to break Azzi out of whatever funk she’d been in. All of her anger and frustration at Paige seemed to culminate into that one moment as she’d swiped the ball straight from Paige’s hands, narrowly avoiding a foul. An easy steal-and-score layup was followed by two signature three pointers, created by her team’s defence, and suddenly the lead had been cut down to three. On the other side, Muhl had been called for an offensive foul and immediately Coach Close had called for a timeout to advance the ball.

When both teams get back on the court, Azzi, with her competitive streak in full control of her emotions, relishes in the way Paige’s face is contorted up in frustration. But it isn’t just this game that has Azzi irritated. Paige had been relentless since both teams had landed in Cleveland in trying to corner Azzi. She’d known it was gonna happen since she’d read the text but still Azzi had hoped that maybe the blonde would just let it go, would understand just how much Azzi didn’t want to have to deal with this. Because seeing Paige hurts. All the missing and yearning of the past few months seemed to have blended into this ball of tight hot pain that had burst the minute Paige had smiled at Azzi. She knows Paige means well, and it’s taking everything in her to ignore the part of her that’s secretly enamoured by how hard the point guard is trying finally, but Azzi just can’t do it again. She can’t let Paige in again and then spend every other second scared that Paige will run away again.

The whistle blows and Charisma gets ready to inbound the ball. The play call had been to just get it to Azzi but it’s clearly one that UConn had anticipated, because she finds herself swarmed with Paige and Muhl both trying to make sure she doesn’t get the ball. Instead, it’s Kiki who gets the ball and the countdown starts, as Azzi fights to get herself free, running off of screens, to get herself open on the three point line. It takes too much time and they don’t have any more timeouts left. Kiki throws it inside to Lauren who misses the layup but gets her own rebound and somehow the ball finally finds its way into Azzi’s hands. And with barely a second left to go, and Paige’s hand firmly in her face, Azzi throws up a prayer. The arena goes deathly silent as the ball hits the back and then circles every inch of the rim before spilling over the edge and falling straight into Edwards’ hands.

The crowd erupts in deafening cheers as the UConn bench rushes to the court, jubilantly hugging each other with Paige in the middle. Azzi blinks rapidly, refusing to be caught shedding a single tear on camera. Her teammates look distraught and Azzi feels disappointment curling into every crevice of her skin she’d almost had it. In the grand scheme of things she knows that, that shot would have only guaranteed overtime and not a win but still, it wouldn’t have meant a loss. And she knows this one isn’t completely on her either but it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t feel the burden of it on her shoulders any way.

But despite it all, seeing Paige’s bright smile stretch all over her beaming face as she celebrates with her team, soothes the sting of the loss just a little bit. Azzi still remembers late night calls and Paige’s broken voice too well, her brain imprinted with the misery of a girl who had just wanted to play the sport she loved and couldn’t. And even if everything between them resembles the remnants of an earthquake, Azzi can’t help but be just a little bit happy for Paige.

The handshake line is better this time around with no one being unnecessarily hostile. One team is too happy to care and when Muhl briefly hugs her, Azzi can’t help but be a little shocked by the affection. Her team is too despondent to be mad, and Angela briefly nods at Paige when shaking her hand, and gets a reassuring grin in return. Azzi has to force herself not to run away, if only for decorum’s sake, once she and Paige finally get to each other. Trying to keep herself steady, she reaches out her hand to counter Paige’s outstretched arms. The smile falls a little bit from Paige’s face as a more resigned expression takes its place.

“Good game Bueckers,” Azzi manages to muster out.

The last name stings but Paige does her best to not let it show, “good game Az.”

***

When there’s a knock on the door to her hotel room a little bit after 10pm, Azzi knows exactly who it is. The look that Charisma gives her as she goes to open it, suggests that she does too.

“Oh thank fucking god, I thought maybe y’all left already,” and there it is, Paige voice echoing through her room and from where she’s perched on the edge of bed, her feet dangling over the side, Azzi catches a brief glimpse of the UConn point guard.

“Had a little bit of a transportation issue. We’re not leaving til tomorrow morning,” Charisma explains, “what are you doing here Paige?”

Paige shuffles her feet nervously at the doorway, peering over Charisma’s frame in the doorway to catch sight of Azzi, “can I talk to Azzi?”

“First you kick my ass in the final four, and now you wanna kick me out of my own room?” Charisma asks, voice light but there’s an edge of seriousness to it.

“I-uh-”

“Az,” Charisma turns to Azzi with a questioning look, and Azzi sighs at having all the attention on her, “you wanna talk to her?”

Say no. Say yes. Her head fights with itself. And for the last few months, Azzi’s done well with listening to the logical part of her brain, diligently sticking to letting go. But that had only been easy to do because Paige hadn’t actually been there. Now that she is, with bright hopeful eyes fixed on Azzi, well, this time the emotional side wins out. She nods her head in yes at Charisma and Paige seems to glow all over.

“You’re lucky it’s me and not Angela or Kiki or any of the other girls,” Charisma warns, “but I swear to god Bueckers if I come back and there’s a single tear-”

“Then you have my permission to fucking murder me,” Paige vows, her face a paragon of sincerity.

Charisma nods once, stepping aside to let Paige in. The Bruin’s point guard looks at Azzi once more for confirmation and then, satisfied by the small smile Azzi shoots at her, she leaves the room, letting the door shut behind her. And then it’s just Paige and Azzi and the myriad of unspoken thoughts that seem to always linger between them.

“Hi,” Paige says softly.

Azzi stares up at her with tired eyes, “shouldn’t you be celebrating or something?”

“Still one more game to go. Gotta lock in for that first.”

“Then go do that. What are you doing here?”

Paige flinches at the harsh tone and Azzi feels a wave of guilt come over her. She doesn’t mean to be so hostile but she’s scared that if she gives in just a little, all of her will go tumbling down.

“Sunday is the most important game of my life,” Paige says quietly.

“I know- I know it means a lot to you.”

“It does,” Paige nods, as she takes a step forward, hesitating for a second, before she drags a foot stool over, so she can sit right in front of Azzi, “will you stay for it?”

“That’s not-,” Azzi sucks in a deep breath, her senses muddle by having Paige so close to her again, “I thought I was clear about- about us.’

“You were but I thought I was clear with my texts,” Paige counters.

“Paige please.”

“I just-,” Paige pauses, leaning forward and staring intently at Azzi, “I don’t know how the national championship is gonna go. I don’t know if we’re gonna win or lose but I just- I know that no matter what happens, I want you there. Because if I’m gonna end up fucking crying, then I want it to be on your shoulder. And if I’m gonna end up celebrating, I want it to be in your arms. I just- I just want you there. With me. Always.”

Everything else floats away and for a moment, all Azzi knows is Paige, and the warmth that reverberates through her body at the earnestness in those words. If she could, she’d capture that feeling in a bottle and keep it forever. Because moments are fleeting. And when her brain catches up to her heart, and that voice in her head is back to echoing it won’t last, Azzi feels cold all over again.

“You don’t believe me,” disappointment echoes in Paige’s voice; she’s always been a little too perceptive of Azzi’s emotions, “you think I don’t mean it?”

“I think you mean it now. I don’t think you’ll mean it forever,” Azzi shrugs.

Paige is quiet, nerves on full display, as she cautiously reaches for Azzi’s hands with both of her own, an audible sigh of relief floating out of her lips when Azzi lets her.

“I know I fucked up,” she begins quietly, thumb caressing Azzi’s palms, each trace sending jolts of electricy through the younger girl’s body, “like really fucked up and I get why you think that. I get why- why you’re so scared to believe me. And I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

A teardrop rolls down Paige’s cheek, falling onto their intertwined hands, and Azzi feels herself flinch, her own eyes beginning to glisten.

“If I could go back in time, I’d change so many fucking things. I’d go back to the beginning- back to your room the night before you went to LA and- and I’d tell myself to shut the fuck up. I’d tell you that I supported you- that I understood that you weren’t choosing UCLA over me- and I’d- I’d tell you that it didn’t matter how many fucking miles away from me you were- we’d survive it. But I can’t- I can’t change the past. I can’t change that we fought. I can’t change that- that I was a fucking idiot for ignoring you for a year. I can’t change that I was a dumbass for leaving that morning.”

Tears are freely streaming from both of their eyes now as they grip each other’s hands tightly. There’s something cathartic about finally being able to cry, about finally being able to mourn the loss of what could have been together.And it feels a little bit like healing.

Paige looks up at Azzi through watery eyelashes as she continues to speak, her voice wrecked with emotion, “and I’m not gonna make promises about how I’ll never do shit to hurt you again because god knows I can be really fucking stupid.”

They let out simultaneous giggles at that and Azzi can feel something in herself unravelling.

“But what I can promise is that if you let me, every day- every fucking day that I live- I will try. To not hurt you. To make it up to you. To fix this. To fix us. And I can promise, that I will never ever fucking run away from you again. I know- I know it’s gonna be hard but I swear- I fucking swear- that I will stay right here and face it with you.”

“Paige,” Azzi whispers helplessly. It’s everything she’s wanted to hear and it’s too much. The voices in her head are too loud again, screams of she’ll hurt you, she always does, let her go colliding with shouts of it’s Paige, it’s your Paige, hold on to her.

“You said- you said you were tired of fighting alone but you never- you never have to do that again because- because I’m here now. Fuck- Azzi I’m here. And I know- I know there’s so much we have to talk about and so much we still have to fucking deal with. But we can do that- we can- we can deal with anything. Because it’s us. Paige and Azzi. We can do anything. Together.”

Paige presses her forehead to Azzi’s, pulling their interlocked hands to her chest. They’re breathing in sync and Azzi can feel the thrum of Paige’s heart beat against her fingertips. Azzi’s eyes close of their own accord, as Paige’s lips brush over hers, her next words coming out in a breathless whisper.

“Believe in me- believe in us just one more time, please.”

#pazzi #paige bueckers #azzi fudd #wcbb

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dragon-creates · 2 years ago

Text

I started this short bowuigi little mermaid au thing a few days ago as a little something to help me feel better cause my depression was basically being like ‘hey, wanna feel ten times worse than usual?’ It was to be a short little thing to self-indulge with, YET IT SOMEHOW IS OVER 5K WORDS, FUCKING HOW?!?!?!?!? Anyways, enjoy. (Edit, to the person who pointed out that Junior said Luigi's name before Bowser finds out, you're a real one and I just fixed it thanks xx).

In the surface land, Bowser is trying to get Princess Peach to marry him because he sees her as the ‘perfect bride’ for him to be happy but she’s not having it.

“Isn’t she lovely Kamek, her golden hair, the way she glides when she moves. Plus, she would be a perfect mother for Junior!”

“Sire, she threw a shoe at your head the last time you proposed to her.”

“…and?”

“Seriously Papa?”

Yeah, Kamek and Junior are starting to get sick of it.

Meanwhile, in the ocean, Mario and Luigi’s parents rule the seven seas. While Mario is more adventurous and outgoing, Luigi is more content to stay under the sea (you’re allowed to hate me for that terrible pun).

See, unlike Ariel, Luigi is deathly afraid of the surface land as he’s heard about all about the terrifying Bowser and what he’s willing to do to get what he wants to he wants to stay as far as possible from there.

“There’s nothing to be scared of Luigi, I’d be able to keep you safe if we were ever near the surface.”

“N-no way! W-what if B-Bowser’s there a-an-d-d gets mad a-at us f-or t-t-t-trespassing! I-I’ll be fine here with Ma and Pa.”

(Luigi also has long hair cause I’m a sucker for long-haired Luigi.)

Que King Boo, a ghostly underwater sea monster who wants to take over both the land and sea but isn’t powerful enough to do so. He knows that Luigi means a lot to his family, so he decides to pull a devious trick to distract them from their duties so he can take over the throne.

“Well, well, well, despite how much of a cowardly shrimp he is, this little prince could be of use to me.”

He uses Polterpup (a ghost sea-lion pup that is able to turn into a dog if he goes to the surface land) to distract Luigi, making him think that a dog had fallen into the sea and needs help. Luigi follows the sound of the distressed barking, hoping to help the innocent animal when suddenly, he’s captured by Boo’s minions and with the limited power that he has, he uses it to turn Luigi into a human to make him unable to return home. That way, while Luigi’s family will be looking for their son, he can try and take over the underwater kingdom and use that power to take over the surface land. Just to make sure that Luigi doesn’t tell anyone, King Boo steals Luigi’s voice and sends him to the edge of the Darklands.

“Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! Try going home and telling your mommy and daddy about this one princey! Oh wait, you can’t!”

However, since King Boo’s powers are still weak there is a way that the spell can be reserved so he purposely neglects to tell Luigi that the spell can be broken with true love’s kiss.

Luigi is distraught and terrified, already afraid of the surface land and is now forced to live there with no way of being able to ask for help.

Feeling guilty, Polterpup decides to help Luigi get used to his human legs and brings him a rag from a ship to help make into some makeshift clothes.

Meanwhile, Bowser and Junior are minding their own business at the shore of the Darklands when suddenly, Junior sees an unfamiliar human struggling to stand on his own two feet.

“Look Dad! There’s a human, like Peach!”

He gets a bit over excited and runs from his dad to go see Luigi.

Luigi, still frightened and wary of surface creatures (and the fact that this is Bowser’s son! So, if the king sees him with Junior, he could burn him to a crisp!) he gets spooked easily by the child and fumbles his way onto a rock. Polterpup stands in front of Luigi to create some distance with the overzealous child. Eventually, Bowser makes his way over to see what all the fuss is about.

“Junior, what have I told you about running off?!”

“But look Papa, it’s another human! I’ve never seen another human before apart from Peach!”

Bowser suddenly notices Luigi, who ducks behind Polterpup, trying to hide as much of himself as he can.

Bowser is taken aback, like Junior, Peach is the only human he’s seen so he’s never had the chance to formally get to know another one. He sees that the human is a bit skittish, so he tries to be as unintimidating as possible.

“Uh, hey there, sorry about Junior, he has the tendency to get overexcited sometimes.”

“Hey!”

Luigi is still unsure; he’s only ever heard tales about how the king of the koopas was able to be rid of his enemies just with one swipe of his claw. So, seeing him up close makes him want to piss himself.

Bowser can see that the human is still nervous, though he’s a little bit offended, he can’t really blame the human for being scared.

“Did you, uh, get in a shipwreck? Cause I can see that the only thing you’re dressed in is a sail.”

Luigi finally peaks his head out and nods a little bit, wondering why the koopa hasn’t done anything to him yet. Junior is suddenly asking him a lot of questions.

“Woah, you got in a shipwreck?! That’s so cool! Was there tons of thunder and lightning?! Did your ship light on fire?! Your dog is so cool! Is he a ghost?!”

Startled again, Luigi nearly falls off the rock until Bowser catches him. Luigi suddenly starts trembling both from fear and the cold. The king notices this and tries to ask him if he’s alright to try and loosen the tension, but the human is silent.

“What’s wrong? Can’t talk or something?”

He says that sarcastically and laughs a little to try and make the human do so as well, but he takes one look in the human’s eyes and realises that he actually can’t.

“Oh, I see.”

Luigi is hugging himself at this point, wanting to run and hide but he was getting colder and colder by the minute. Bowser then decides to take the human back to the castle to get him warmed up and a little bit less scared.

“Don’t worry, Kamek and Kammy will know how to help you. You’ll be feeling better soon.”

That gets Luigi to look up at the king with curiosity as Bowser carries him back to the castle with Junior and Polterpup by his side. The great ferocious king was holding him ever so gently and promising to help him, he doesn’t know how to feel at this point.

As soon as Kamek and Kammy see Luigi shivering and drenched, they are instantly ‘grandparents mode activated. They take Luigi from Bowser and lead the human into bathroom, (Bowser totally didn’t want to carry him there) Kamek makes him tea and gives Luigi a few biscuits while Kammy is drawing a warm bubble bath for him.

“Here you are now, its not much but it will help fill and warm you up a little bit.”

Luigi has never tasted land food before; he finds it to be quite nice. He even enjoys the bath, letting the water heat him up and blowing on the bubbles. Kammy finds the site adorable.

“The poor thing, washing up from a shipwreck must’ve been so terrifying for you, especially if you heard about the reputation of the Darklands. Don’t worry, we just want to help you feel better and feel comfortable here.”

Kamek comes into the room holding a few dresses and suits, asking the human which one he’d like to wear for dinner. Although Luigi didn’t need to wear clothes as a mermaid, he does know that land creatures wear them all the time. He instantly chooses one of the dresses (because gender norms don’t exist, and Luigi is allowed to wear whatever the fuck he wants!)

Later, Kammy is helping Luigi get changed while Kamek, Junior and Bowser are in the dining room talking about Peach again.

“All I’m saying sire is that it might be due time to stop pursuing the princess. She had already disagreed to your other proposals, and I don’t see her agreeing any time soon.”

“I can’t just give up on her Kamek, Peach makes me feel things that I’ve never felt for anyone. I will marry her, one day.”

As if right on time, Kammy and Luigi are there, the former ushering in the shy man.

“Don’t be so nervous darling, you look lovely!”

Luigi then steps into the room, wearing a beautiful green dress (a green version of Ariel’s pink dress) with Polterpup by his side to keep him company.

Bowser is starstruck, he’s never seen a human look this beautiful before.

“Y-you look amazing.”

Luigi blushes, still nervous but the compliment gives him butterflies.

“Come sit next to me human!”

Junior takes his hand and leads him next to his seat, which happens to also be next to Bowser’s at the head of the table. To try and take his mind off the fact that he’s sitting next to Bowser, Luigi starts focusing on the plates and cutlery, he’s never really seen that many human artefacts before so it’s all so intriguing to him (expect when Mario brings back some from his adventures, but he doesn’t really know what they are either.)

Bowser becomes amused at Luigi’s curiosity for the simple objects he had, his appreciation for things that seem to be mundane gives him a swell of pride.

“I guess my silverware is kinda nice, isn’t it?”

Luigi immediately puts the fork don’t and hides under his hair, afraid that he might have disrespected the king, but Bowser is quick to reassure him that he doesn’t mind.

“It’s just that no one else I know is fascinated by these types of things, so its nice to see someone that it.”

Luigi peers out from his hair, a small smile forming from the king’s praise. Kamek picks up on the tension and decides to do some *matchmaking*.

“Since our guest will be staying for a while, perhaps we should help him feel more comfortable with a tour of the kingdom…Bowser?”

“Papa, are you listening?”

Bowser breaks out of his trance, not even realising he was staring at the human. He couldn’t help it; he’s not seen that many and this one was just so fascinating.

“Ah, yes, a tour sounds great! If you would like one?”

Luigi thinks for a bit and nods. If he was wrong about the king, then maybe he was wrong about the kingdom and surface land and should give it a chance.

Kamek nods at that, pleased with his work. Kammy shoots him a thumbs up for his work.

Later, while Luigi is getting ready for bed, he watches Bowser with Junior as they play in the courtyard. Bowser notices him watching and waves at him. Embarrassed that he was caught, Luigi shyly waves back and backs away from the balcony. He’s wearing a cotton nightgown that Kammy had given him, as well as a glass of water from Kamek in case he gets thirsty during the night. This is also his first time laying in a bed, he’s never felt anything so soft in his life! He falls asleep as soon as he puts his head on the pillow, feeling a bit more hopeful after today.

Back in the ocean, Mario and his family are frantically searching for his brother, terrified that something bad happened to him. He decides to go to the surface land, specifically from the Mushroom Kingdom, and ask their princess for help and if he’s washed up there. It also helps that he’s heard so much about her kindness and beauty and…wake up Mario, focus on the mission at hand.

Back on the surface lands, Bowser takes Luigi on a tour of his kingdom, Polterpup by his feet through the all thing. At first, Luigi is still a bit unsure about the koopas, but soon he becomes a bit more curious. He goes up to some of the food stand giving away free sample and decides to try a little bit of fruit, it’s a bit tangy but still pretty good. He even sees a puppet show for the first time, not knowing how the little puppets are moving, he pulls one of a koopa’s hand, fascinated with how it works. A few koopa children then come up to him and ask to do his hair, having never seen another human before with his like his. He agrees and let the children tie up his hair in a French braid along with a few faux white flowers to go with the new dress he’s wearing. Bowser is watching from afar, his jaw dropping when Luigi’s hairstyle is revealed, his heart skipping a beat when Luigi does a twirl.

“Wow, you…you look beautiful greenie.”

Luigi blushes at the compliment.

The two suddenly hear music and see a few performers starting to play on their instruments as koopas, goombas and shy guys join in. Bowser takes Luigi’s hand and asks him to dance, the man nods his head, feeling a bit more at ease with the king now.

Soon the two join the crowd, laughing and having the time of their lives as they dance away to the music, Polterpup occasionally runs through some of the koopas legs.

When it ends, Bowser guides Luigi to a hidden river, the only place with water in the Darklands (apart from the shore). They share a little boat ride together as they share some of the food they bought at the market, while Polterpup takes a nap. Bowser then remembers that despite the time they shared together, he still doesn’t even know Luigi’s name.

“I feel terrible not knowing your name, and we don’t have anything that you can write with…Oh I know, how about I go down the alphabet and you pick out the letters of your name?”

Luigi nods and though it takes a while, the king manages to spell out his name.

“Luigi huh? A beautiful name for a beautiful human.”

Its Luigi’s turn for his heart to skip a beat. All his life he’d heard about the koopa kingdom and their dreaded king, now it turns out that he’s actually a gentleman who’s been showing him nothing but respect. Ever since this man washed up at his kingdom, Bowser has been feeling things that he’s never felt for anyone. Flustered, vulnerable and a need to protect and love. He’s never even felt this for Peach. The two start to lean in when their boat suddenly tips over, the two falling out. Bowser is quick to pick up Luigi, who begins to wring out his dress while Polterpup begins to shake his non-existent coat. As Bowser carries Luigi back as Polterpup floats beside them, the two fail to see two boos that were the ones who knocked over their boat.

Back in his lair, King Boo is seething!

“That blasted little shrimp! At this rate, these two will end up snogging all over the place and my plans will be ruined!”

He decides to go to his last resort, a mind control crown that he had hoped to use on one of the rulers to conquer the sea and surface, however this crown also held many of his other spells (including Luigi’s) and he wasn’t strong enough to use it more than once to use a spell as powerful as mind control. It was always extremely fragile, though he would still have some power, if it broke then all of his previous spells from over the years would be released, so he held it off for as long as he could, and it seems that now he has no other choice.

Meanwhile, Mario has finally arrived at the Mushroom Kingdom, hoping to find help with the princess. She’s just as beautiful in the rumours he’s heard about her. The princess is shocked to find an adorable red merman in a river near her palace, but she can’t deny his plea for help when he looked just so sweet.

“My brother, he’s gone missing! Is there any chance he’s been around here lately?”

“I’m sorry, you’re the only mer-person we’ve seen here. But don’t worry, we’ll keep a look out and help you find him!”

“Really?! Thank you, princess!”

“Y-you’re welcome.”

Back at the Darklands, Bowser is thinking about his new feelings for Luigi, not knowing if he should act on them since he didn’t want to betray his love for Peach. Kamek, fed up at this point, goes up to give Bowser his thoughts on the matter.

“If I may say sire, some people spend most of their time chasing after treasure on a map that leads them in circles, that they neglect that the diamond in the rough is right in front of them. Just a thought from a silly old koopa.”

As Kamek leaves, Bowser ponders over his surrogate father’s words. For years he’s yearned for Peach so the point that he became blinded by what he thought he wanted and put her on a pedestal. Now, there’s someone that doesn’t see him as a monster and might love him back. He makes his decision and starts to go to Luigi to tell him how he feels when he suddenly feels a weight on his head, and everything goes dark.

The next morning, Luigi wakes up feeling more refreshed and happier than he has since he first turned human. He’s been thinking all night about the maybe-kiss that he and Bowser were about to share and had been contemplating his feelings on the matter. He soon found himself realising that he would mind kissing Bowser, in fact, he would really like to kiss him and spend every day with him, Junior, Kammy and Kamek. Besides, there was nothing stopping him from travelling to see his brother and family, maybe it could all work out? He fell asleep last night with a smile on his face and butterflies in his stomach.

He’s about to run down the stairs to meet Bowser when he hides behind a pillar when he sees the king speaking with Kamek, wearing a strange crown.

“Y-your highness, are you sure this is the best idea?”

“Peach castle is currently unprotected; it would be a good opportunity to strike and take her as my bride.”

“I see that, but after the last few days and our past with the Mushroom Kingdom, shouldn’t we think this through a little bit and-”

“-It has always been my intention to make Peach mine, no matter what and I won’t let anyone get in my way. Especially some scrawny human who washed up at my sure. Once the invasion is complete, the wedding will start immediately.”

“…very well sire.”

Luigi, heartbroken and betrayed, flees to his room, not knowing that King Boo was there the whole having used his ghostly-ness to remain invisible while controlling Bowser with the crown.

As Bowser takes off with his army and airship, Luigi stays behind at the port to cry as Polterpup tries to comfort him, having to face the truth that he was right in the first place, Bowser was just a heartless monster.

Junior is on the airship per his father’s orders to be at the wedding. He searches for his dad, wondering why he had the sudden change of heart about Luigi and his invasion. He creaks open the door to his father’s room when he sees King Boo in Bowser’s mirror, cackling to himself at the fact that his plans are nearly complete.

Realising his dad is being mind controlled by the strange ghost thing, he makes his way down to the clown cars and sneaks away in his own small one to get to Luigi as quickly as possible.

The Mushroom Kingdom is taken aback when Bowser suddenly arrives, not fully prepared for battle since he would usually leave some type of indication that he was coming, but here, he was just blasting through with every intention of not leaving until he gets what he wants. Mario wants to help but Peach tells him to stay hidden. Unable to just do nothing, Mario rushed as fast as he can to get back home to get his father.

As soon as Peach sees Bowser, there’s something different about his atmosphere, something way more menacing and demanding. As usual, he wants Peach to marry him, but this time he doesn’t ask.

“One way or another, you will marry me Peach and we’ll watch your kingdom turn to ash.”

“You’re not even going to bargain.”

“It’s not like you can do anything about it.”

A pit forms in Peach’s stomach, something’s wrong, very wrong.

Junior makes it back to, running to the sobbing man as fast as he can.

“Luigi! Luigi! There’s some weird ghost thing that was in my dad’s mirror! I think that’s why he’s attacking the Mushroom Kingdom so soon! What do we do?!”

Luigi’s eyes widen in horror. King Boo! He had to be behind all this. Without any second thoughts, Luigi climbs in Junior’s clown car, along with Polterpup, and the two head to the Mushroom Kingdom as fast as they can.

While Bowser/Boo is adamant about the wedding, the koopas there are a little less comfortable about it due to how strange and intimidating the king was acting. As the service starts, Peach pulls out an ice flower from her bouquet and attacks Bowser, she lands a few hits, but Bowser uses his fire to melt the ice. Peach keeps trying to fight though, at least to distract him while she thinks of a plan. The koopas also help, agreeing that their King was not himself and didn’t want anyone in the Mushroom Kingdom getting severely injured.

Luigi finally arrives with Junior, jumps out of the vehicle and lands on Bowser’s shoulders while he’s fighting Peach. Seeing a crown that wasn’t on Bowser’s head before, Luigi grabs it and smashes it to the ground, falling off Bowser’s shoulder from the impact of the throw.

Suddenly, Bowser sees himself at the Mushroom Kingdom, not knowing how he got there since the last place he remembered being was back home. Princess Peach and the koopas stop, sensing that Bowser’s atmosphere was back to normal as he looks towards Luigi.

“Luigi, are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine…wait…I can talk!”

“You can finally speak again!”

“My voice its back!”

“I don’t understand, what’s happening?”

“It’s King Boo, he-aahhh!”

Before he can get another word out, there’s a sharp pain in his legs. He fells his bones bending and breaking in the most painful way and King Boo suddenly appears, turning him back into a merman before he can get another word out. Luigi looks to Bowser, afraid of what he’ll think of the man once he realises what he really is. But Bowser is too wrapped up in shock of what its happening and worry for the man that he loves.

King Boo grabs Luigi and drags him back into the ocean, the latter screaming for Bowser as the koopa tries to grab him as Luigi is forced back into the water, Polterpup chasing after his new owner. The king turns to Princess Peach.

“Princess, I know this may be confusing, but I really need your help, please, I love him!”

“Don’t worry, I think I might know his brother and what’s going on.”

Back in the ocean, Luigi is struggling against King Boo, trying to escape his grasp but somehow, the ghost’s grip is tighter than he though. Polterpup tries to fight his old master but a few Boos that had been hiding easily grab him.

“Oh, don’t worry little shrimp, it ain’t you that I’m after.”

“KING BOO THAT IS ENOUGH!”

The pair stop when they see Luigi’s father, the King of the ocean along with Mario stop them in their path.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t the red prince and the ruler of the seven seas.”

“Let my brother go!”

“No can do princey, precious little Lulu is all mine until you give me what I want.”

Luigi’s father growls at that.

“My son does not belong to you!”

He goes to use his magical trident, but a few boos grab Luigi and use some type of electricity on him, making the youngest prince scream out in pain.

“You see, the thing is your majesty, one wrong move and your precious little boy won’t be, how do I put this? Part of your world anymore.” (I am so sorry for that awful pun.)

The sea king was at a loss, he knew he would be putting everyone at risk by handing the trident and the throne to this made ghost but…he couldn’t lose his youngest son, from the corner of his eye, he could see Mario agree. He hands the trident over to King Boo, begging him not to hurt his son. With a mad gleam in his eye, he grabs the trident and lets Luigi go. To the green merman’s horror, the poltergeist points the artifact to his father and brother, watching in devastation as he turns them into dust.

With a strangled scream, he goes to attack King Boo, though surprised at Luigi’s reaction, manages to throw him to the ground. He’s about to use the trident on him when he suddenly feels something hit him. He looks up to see Bowser under the water, who had thrown a spear at him and raises the trident to him. In a moment of panic, Luigi grabs King Boo, making him point the trident at his boos instead and disintegrates them. Not wanting to witness King Boo’s anger, Luigi swims up to Bowser and guides him above the water, not witnessing the Boo’s fury with his new powers below him.

The koopa and merman reach the surface of the water, Bowser trying to reach out to Luigi.

“Bowser you have to go, now! Before King Boo gets you!”

“No, I’m not leaving you behind again!”

They feel a rumbling all around them. Suddenly, King Boo rises from the sea as a giant with the two on his head, cackling like a mad man. Bowser and Luigi jump back into the water, trying to escape until King Boo starts to form a whirlpool, separating them. Luigi falls into the whirlpool, landing at the bottom as Polterpup rushes over to him as King Boo taunts him.

Bowser is still paddling in the water, trying to get to Luigi when a ship comes up beside it. Inside was Princess Peach, some toads, koopas and Kamek. They throw a rope down to Bowser and help him up. Kamek looks to the king.

“I used my magic to help steer that boat but I’m barely holding on! I need you to guide the bowsprit and drive it into that mad boo!”

“But’s a ghost, he’s already dead!”

“I’ve managed to enchant so that I can trap him in this!”

Kamek holds up a pale purple gem, sparkling with some type of magic that the magikoopa used. Princess Peach then speaks up.

“I’m managing the sails while the toads and koopas are defending us! Bowser, are you able to guide the ship!”

“You can count on me Princess, take this as the beginning of a massive apology to you!”

Peach nods and everyone gets to work. King Boo is shooting at Luigi in the whirlpool, the merman trying to dodge as much as he can but knows that he is not strong enough to do anything. Enraged by what the Boo is doing to his love, Bowser drives the bowsprit into King Boo. The poltergeist screams with both pain and fear, knowing that if he can feel that then somehow, he has been defeated.

The seas calm down as the boo disappears into the gem. Bowser tries to look for Luigi, but the whirlpool is gone, and the merman is nowhere in sight. Kamek keeps him from jumping out as the princess guides the ship back to shore.

In the ocean, Luigi grabs the trident and rushes back over to where his father and brother were with Polterpup following him and sees the two have been returned to normal. Overjoyed, he hugs them both, all three of them crying now that Luigi is safe and home.

“I missed you so much Lu. I’m so sorry I wasn’t here when you went missing.”

“It’s okay Mario, I’m safe now, It’s okay.”

He gives the trident back to his father and the three mermen return home.

A few days later, Luigi is hiding behind a rock, Polterpup beside him as he watches Bowser from the shore of the Darklands, pining to see the merman again. Mario and his father watch from afar.

“You know, a while ago, Luigi would have fainted at the thought of going to the Darklands. Now, seeing how he looks at that koopa king, he’s gotten more braver than I ever imagined.”

“Peach told me that he jumped on Bowser’s shoulder’s just to get the crown off him.”

“Oh yes, how are you and that princess getting along?”

“Ah-I-wha-Dad!”

“I’m just teasing. Though, he hasn’t been truly himself since he came home.”

“I guess he left a part of himself since leaving the Darklands. After all, when you love someone, you give a piece of yourself to them, and in return, they grant you something even more freeing.”

“Then I guess there’s only one problem left.”

“And what’s that Dad?”

“…How much I’m going to miss him.” Mario raises an eyebrow in confusion for a moment before his father points his trident at Luigi.

Luigi feels a tingling sensation on his fins, looking down to see that there are no fins at all, his legs had returned! He turns to his father and brother, his smile beaming as the two nod to him.

Bowser is staring off into the distance, thinking about Luigi when he sees brown hair peeking out of the water. His heart stops when he sees Luigi emerging from the water in a sparkling green dress and his hair flowing in the wind. Bowser runs to him, picking him up and spinning him around in his arms and holds him as the two finally share a kiss.

A year later, the two are finally married on a giant ship, Luigi wearing a poofy wedding dress while Bowser is dressed in his finest suit. Luigi’s family and kingdom are watching from the ocean while toads and koopa finally come together as one. Princess Peach hugs Luigi, glad to have another human companion and blows a kiss to Mario in the ocean, who blushes at the gesture and waves back. Junior is also glad Luigi is back and is going to be his stepdad. He and Polterpup have also become close friends, the two playing together when they can. Kamek and Kammy are finally happy that Bowser has found love after all this time.

Mario asks his father to use to powers to lift him with the water to see his brother one more time. Luigi smiles softly and gives his brother a hug.

“Don’t cry big bro, I’ll see you after the honeymoon, you’re acting as if I’ll never see you again.”

“I’m sorry, its just, I’m so happy for you.”

“I love you, Mario.”

“I love you too Lu.”

He gives Bowser a menacing glare along the lines of ‘hurt my bro and I’ll end you’ before Peach comes over and kisses him on the cheek, making the red merman faint into the ocean. Luigi laughs at his brother’s antics as he waves goodbye to all the other mer-folk as the ship sails away to its next destination.

Bowser and Luigi give one another a soft look and share one more kiss.

The end.

You're allowed to yell at me for the shitty puns.

(Edit: also I love that you guys enjoyed it and you’re free to write something for this as it was only meant to be a drabble after having a bad day. As long as you credit and tag me, y’all can use this idea and write your own Bowuigi little mermaid fic ☺️)

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