#i thought it would be too difficult
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edit: her name is vellum >:-D
(she's a paperlux kid btw ^_^ design may or may not be final, idk yet tbh)
#utmv#utmv fanart#undertale#undertale au#paperlux#paperjam sans#paperjam#lux#lux sans#paperjam x lux#sanscest#undertale ship kid#pj and lux aren't sanses i just need the reach lol#also did i add too many details??#i feel like she would be difficult for other people to draw#idk lmao#i just added what i thought looked pretty#inkblott#errorink#error sans x ink sans#cross sans#dream sans#vellum sans
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ummmmmmm guys this dungeons looking a little dark here..........................ummmm..... hello??? guys??
#quirinahdraws#darkest dungeon#darkest dungeon 2#IVE BEEN IN THE TRENCHES SO I NEED 2 POST MY EARLY APRIL DRAWINGS FROM WHEN I WAS (am) PLAYING THIS GAME TERMINALLY....#try to guess my favorite character (very difficult impossible /j)#notable moments include reynauld and dismas kicking the bucket in my first year to which i thought after the latter. ok at least theyre#together in death or watever. anyways i got a beyond the grave a week later with both of them and i could only revive one of them and my#first thought was wow! this would make great angst fodder! i should make a comic (and then i didnt)#but dismas is dead so i can never get the achievement but he basically carried me thru vvulf bc i didnt have any legend lvl frontliners and#i didnt know u could just sacrifice a hero to retreat. or that you had to destroy the bomb barrel HAHAHAHAH but we defeated vvulf SOMEHOW#sketchdump#digital#dd plague doctor#dd jester#dd shieldbreaker#dd arbalest#dd abomination#SORRY FOR YAOIFYING BIGBY THAT BADLY IDK WHAT HAPPENED...ETTO.......#my favorite builds are damage over time <3 number one blight buddy supporter#but marked for death r also my pookies....i just find marked builds a little awkward to use imo. but bh is like my blorbo#i find it funny drawing any of the charas bc i feel like i always draw characters a little too cutesy/colorful but its shrimpresting
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真夏の夜の夢々 (x)
#sasunaru#sns#uchiha sasuke#uzumaki naruto#naruto#boruto next generation#naruto shippuden#ladsofsorrow24#ah finally done with this one#i don't wanna paint anymore#especially those fucking leaves uuggghh#but i can't deny it looks better than my usual stuff haha#miro haverinen thank you for the inspiration but also my god i underestimated how difficult painting on just one layer can be#he did it so effortlessly... i thought it would be easy too...#sadly it just gives me extra back pain lol
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She didn’t stop in this version…
I’m going to cry
#orv#omniscient reader's viewpoint#spoilers#orv spoilers#omniscient reader's viewpoint spoilers#omnicient reader's view point#omniscient reader spoilers#manhwa#orv manhwa#orv webtoon#the translation was a bit odd I thought#‘LOVER’?!?#What does it say in the raw?? 😭#there isn’t supposed to be romance in orv!!!#and I think it was only implied in the novel that the one kdj loved most was the story#but I guess just implying it in the manhwa would be kind of difficult#where was the ‘let’s meet again Yoo Joonghyuk’ too?#though that might be the translator’s fault because I did see a part where ‘let’s meet again’ could have fit#I don’t want to say I’m disappointed because I love sleepy-c with my whole heart but ough..
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More Ben fam stuff I believe I have neglected to put here
#Neo’s way more of an E boy now#men’s fashion can be difficult sometimes aight#small things#the twins are Marley n Neo#bc YES I take back what I said about Ben not having any twin siblings#I like twin dynamics ok#and Cohen!#I’m going through his design n personality and have landed on ‘moody singer who writes songs about how shitty everything is’#he’s also like. coping bc he took Ben’s ‘thing’#long story short Ben really liked singing when he was younger but never wanted to pursue it#and Cohen just happened to also be really good but not as good as Ben so he claimed that singing would be HIS thing#and now he feels guilty bc he knows that Ben never pursued it bc Cohen took that confidence from him#and it was really more about the fame n glamour for Cohen too so#he feels his singing is ingenuous#lmao#lore jumpscare!!!#big thoughts#late night posting#benrey fam
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angel artdump 2 make up for the longass time im spending tryna sort out angel homeworld ethnicities lol
from the top we have: angel train doodle, angel fat chart, spec-bio minion, angel pog emoji & angel thumbs up :)
#owo whats this#angel tag!!! wahoo#spec bio#alien species#whodve thought coming up w 5-6 variants of the same alien would be difficult lmao#ive redone my angel ref too but ill wait till i do ethnicities before i post it#i wanna keep the design shit all together#anyway thats all the tags/rambles i can think of lol
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People's reaction to Maya absolutely reeks of misogyny. And a refusal to engage with the fact her behavior is absolutely a result of the ways that able-bodied people treat disabled people. Which is absolutely wild for a show centered around the fact that what drew one of the MLs to the other is that he was one of the only people that treated him like a whole person instead of someone to be pitied, infantilized and made a spectacle of because of their disability. Like it's made very clear that ableism from others is a near constant and that a lot of people interact with you not because they actually want to know you as a person but because they want to feel good about themselves for being nice to the "poor helpless disabled person" The girl that told Kohei carrying the trash must be too difficult for him because he can't hear, the guys that let him score a basket because it would've been "pitiful" to defend against him, Yoko's cousin and her weird romance fantasy etc etc.
So Maya, as a disabled person who also deals with that bs on the daily, being stand-offish and critical or suspicious of an able-bodied man? Makes sense actually. Right now her character is there as conflict between the characters, it makes sense to not like her but hop off of all that "uwu this character is perfect sunshine baby and anyone who is mean or critical of them is a heartless bitch" bullshit
#i hear the sunspot#it's also a lack of understanding dramatic irony imo#like we as the viewers know more about taichi's intentions than she does#tbh if i saw messy notes that someone was compensated to take my immediate thought would be 'this person doesnt take their job seriously#and considering how difficult it is to get disability services that would be agrivating#also the way people adopt this “he's a precious cinnamon roll who can do no wrong” rhetoric and actually MEAN it is problematic#but that's a separate rant#like too many ppl can't handle character flaws - either pretend they don't exist or act like the character is the devil#and when youre a female character in a bl? boom irredeemable bitch even when they serve a purpose to the story#bc how dare you get in the way of my yaoi
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.
#us election venting beware:#i am actually a bit annoyed at all the people that told me i was just being pessimistic and it's not healthy to think the worst of people#when yet again we have proven the worst of people wins#and even if it doesn't win (it will) it is still so significantly mobilized and out there#like i know it's not helpful. but i TOLD YOU. everyone thought it wouldn't happen and it DID.#just like nobody thought it would happen THEN and i was apparently the only one around me who saw it coming.#now can we PLEASE take this problem SERIOUSLY and get off our fucking asses and admit it's fucked out there??#the core of our system is bad. it is rotting and the proof is in this joke of an election#so can every white liberal get off my ass for 'bringing down the vibe' or whatever?#you people have been LAZY for a long time. you have been comfortable and unmotivated and been doing NOTHING.#quit focusing on doing your best by voting and get the fuck out there and disrupt. radicalize!#'common sense' is not enough and it never was#i hate to say it but believing the best in the masses in this deeply racist country will disappoint you every time#and i can't believe so many people fell for it again!!!!#i know it's unfair but#i'm finding it really difficult to sympathize with people in my community who are sad and disappointed#when i watched you do NOTHING for YEARS#(not for the people that are actively in danger. my heart breaks for you. i will not stop fighting for you. you didn't deserve this.)#i have never believed that people are fundamentally good and i'm sorry if that's mean but it's just not true#people are fundamentally neutral and you have to WORK to push them towards 'good'#and for too long the pushing has been going in the other direction. but 'pushing' at all is uncouth to you people i guess#get over your decorum. get over your morals that mean nothing. no one else is playing by your rules. DO something. CARE MORE.#sorry. i'm angry. i am filled with rage. and it is mostly directed towards the white intellectual elite.#to anyone who is blindingly furious i see you and i am with you lmao.#to anyone that wants to say 'i told you so' you are so valid.#we keep going.#futhermore: 'it's only four years. we'll recover.' BITCH#ONLY four years? that's four years of DAMAGE that will really hurt people in the meantime#and set up a whole host of problems for the future! the courts my god.#four years of bullshit policy and shit we will have to spend years untangling just to get back to even thinking about making any progress
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What do you think Odile does for a living? She feels teacher like to me. What do you think she would do post canon?
HMMMM THIS IS GOOD QUESTION…
ive seen a lot of people hc her as a teacher / professor so i!! think that suits her pretty well. specifically as someone who studies + specializes in different types of craft (that would be why shes so proficient in multiple craft spells. also how she was able to figure out the loops stuff, AND to find something that could prevent siffrin from looping back).
post canon i am not sure… i am always torn between how the party would handle things post canon. obviously they would keep travelling for a bit, odile alongside her family without the stress of. constant sadness encounters + a king to kill lol. i think maybe she would get to take her time, reeaally get to know vauguardian culture when not within. a crisis. as was her original intention.
eventually. EVENTUALLY. when the family settles down somewhere (i am a “they all get a big house together” believer lol) she would get back into craft stuff. maybe go back into teaching too—surely people would be eager to hire a saviour. especially though i think it would be neat of her to try looking into wish craft etc, as a long forgotten form of craft. to satisfy her own curiosity, for siffrins sake, or just as a way of preserving the countries culture in whatever ways possible.
#asks#ive never gotten to talk about this before#and its a little unrelated to the odile thoughts so im putting it in the tags#but. surely surely. there must be some group out there dedicated to looking into this. suddenly lost island#no one remembers the country ofc. i bet its hard to even think about. probably difficult to dedicate an entire project to#but you also have to imagine. the day the island disappeared. the effect without anyone realizing why#people from the island. vacationers or visiting family etc. going through some sudden spell of amnesia all at once#and their loved ones + family being equally confused#also the fact that? given bambouches (probable) proximity to the island. that many of these cases wouldve popped up there#what did people think was going on. at the time. did they assume it was a disease?? a curse?#and then forget about the entire ordeal a week later#anyway point is. someone mustve found that suspicious. theres gotta be at least one person#which to me means i find it very likely there could be research gone into it. esp esp since the party members knew about. Some island that#isnt there#anyway anyways im rambling way too much#i think odile should look into wish craft. i think siffrin would appreciate it#if not because. it was a piece of him that was Important#but also to impart the actual Dangers of it to. others#am i making sense i dont know#isat spoilers#anyways oops thats not about odile anymore#lol
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For everyone who wanted bullfighter Nando when I mentioned it the other day, here you go :D
+ this one I don't feel like coloring yet(imagine he's in Ferrari colors!!!)
#did you know bullfighters dedicate their kill to a friend or member of the public by giving them their hat?#i really wanted to draw silly vettonso where fernando offers seb his hat#seb retires from bullfighting(yeah its an au now) and fernando in his green costume is like;#'here is my hat. now will you come back from retirement? 🥺'#but yeah feel very abnormal abt that ^ and also the thing abt them having someone who helps them get into their costume as a sacred ritual#theres just a lot of thoughts and ideas floating around in my head bcs of it#anyways i liked drawing this but it was very suffering too and took me like 5 hours#its like. you see the intricate embroidery and im like ah! omg! i love painting details!!!#and then remember im not the best w coming up with ideas for the embroidery pattern itself#so pls bear with me 😭😭 mainly i was trying to reference the diamond logo of renault#but most of it kinda just ended up being austrian knots i guess bcs thats what my mind defaults to#i thought the shoulder pad would be the most difficult but that came together the easiest and made the rest actually work in my head#aaahhh also im surprised w the angle of his face! im usually not good at side profiles as well as tilted down heads#but i think he looks pretty good honestly???#also w the sketch i just wanted to post it bcs i liked his face okay 😭😭😭#i wanted to paint it too but I realized im so naive thinking i could paint two of these horrifically detailed things in one session#but his face 🥹🥹 i like it!!! theres some renault era pic of him i really like where hes sun drenched and angry looking#^ and i think i captured the vibe well so!!!!!#well anyways mayhe ill draw more of this. it was fun but also like sucked my life force out bcs it kept going from easy to 'I CANT DO THIS'#the pictures of matadors are just...insane to me. tiny waist fat ass flamboyant costume. im dead 🫠#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#catie.art.#fa14#matador au
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hello !!! i'm ...
➟ sugar !! i also go by charlie , echo , scott , timmy -- call me whatever's more comfortable for u !!
➟ i'm genderfluid, asexual and biromantic + greyromantic !!
➟ my CURRENT hyperfixations are on NINJAGO and the TRAFFIC LIFE SERIES !! if you're seeing THIS pinned introduction, TRAFFIC LIFE SERIES is currently the MAIN brainrot !
➟ i am a 🚸 MINOR ⚠️ !! please interact with this in mind !!!
➟ i have GAD [ generalized anxiety disorder ] , separation anxiety disorder , social anxiety disorder , selective mutism , depression , DPD [dependent personality disorder] , ARFID [ avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder ] , and involuntary age regression ! though these topics probably won't be discussed at length , please keep them in mind when interacting with me !! at times i may go NON-VERBAL or slip into LITTESPACE , and i ask you be patient with me at those times, thank you !
➟ this is a FANDOM SIDEBLOG - my main blog is @sugrx !! here is where i post FANFICTION, FANART, ANALYSISES , AUS, USERBOXES,,, etc !!
➟ basic ! queerphobes, xenophobes, misognists, sexists, ableists, racists, terfs, maps, pedos, fatphobes, etc - any and all bigots of ANY shape or form !! ➟ nsfw / fetish / kink blogs !! again , i am a MINOR , and though i'm fine with having mutuals who ARE 18+ , i'd rather avoid 18+ content , thank you !!
#tag system is simple ! ;;#writing is in →#my writing#and art is in →#my art#!!#most of my fandom-related content falls into either of those categories . i try to keep my system so it's not too difficult to navigate!#i also have a tendency to ramble - i put // in order to differentiate between tag rambles and actual tags#for example!#//#pinned introduction#trafficblr#hermitblr#mcytblr#life series#blog intro#///#ta-daa !#though usually actual tags come first and ramble tags are at the bottom for algorithum purposes !#anyway. i decided to make two SEPERATE intro posts because i couldn't decide on which theme to go w/ for it and couldn't find a way to -#combine them in a way which didn't clash LOL#this is also my first time talking abt copinglink on tumblr !! thought this be the best place to put this since my linktypes r fictional#i'm hoping it will help me deal with my anxiety better and stop w/ other actual bad coping habits !!#i don’t know TOO much abt the alter human community so pls lmk if I’m not allowed to kin this way / coping link is problematic ;; /gen#i did some research and couldn't find anything saying it was offensive / controversial and i just think it would be a healthy-#-way to gain confidence and adapt to healthy coping ! but pls lmk if this is discomfiting / upsetting to anyone and i'll stop !#or at least not mention it publicly . i mostly only copinglink around close mutuals / friends anyway -#- and tend to consider myself an ' au ' / separate from distinctly canon so don't mind referring to them as separate entites at all#if that makes ppl more comfortable !!
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Does anyone else feel like the incinerator gun chair room from Zero Time Dilemma would have better fit C Team instead of D Team
#elaboration in the tags#zero time dilemma#zero escape#ztd#I think of this every time I watch a playthrough and get to that room#carlos ztd#akane kurashiki#junpei tenmyouji#c team#like just about any combination fits with the potential character growth both Akane and Junpei would have from it#I understand the main character is Carlos so if we were to keep it as him making the decision then I would have Akane in the incinerator#and Junpei in the chair#but if we’re going to throw ‘main character chooses’ then you could truly have either Akane or Junpei at the gun with Carlos in the chair#I say all this cuz there’s the obvious Akane incinerator parallels and I imagine it could trigger a breakdown for her#if Junpei is behind the gun would she beg Junpei to shoot Carlos to save her?#would Junpei see that Akane sees other players as pawns to save her own life? and if she doesn’t beg does it help Junpei#see the humanity in her? where he previously thought she was uncaring but here she clearly is to save Carlos at the cost of her own life#but my fave configuration is Junpei in the incinerator and Akane at the gun#it helps them see from each other’s point of view. how scared would Junpei be being in the incinerator and there’s nothing he can do#but rely on someone else? Junpei in characterized as pretty selfish in ZTD so this experience could have him empathize with Akane’s#‘selfishness’ in the previous games. realizing you’d do it too if your life was on the line#and Akane can see just how difficult it is being the one to directly have a hand in how people die or at least see their bodies.#and is it worth it to just save one person?#yes Akane’s games have a way for everyone to survive and win at the end. but in the moment the players don’t know that.#I think that configuration would do SO much for akane and Junpei to better empathize with one another during ZTD#this could’ve been a whole post but I wasn’t confident enough in my coherence to properly format it. so tags you get
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The interesting experience of being pro Sasuke, anti konoha, pro tobirama, anti Naruto ending, pro Sasusaku, anti Itachi, pro Sakura, anti SasuNaru, pro Tobirama×Izuna, anti Madara, pro karin, anti Orochimaru, pro Uchiha and anti Hashirama. And also as much as I hate the guy danzo was kind of hot when he was younger...
#I FEEL ITS VERY IMPORTANT TO SAY THAT I COMPLETELY RESPECT SNS TO THE ULTIMATE DEGREE AND I AGREE WITH THEIR SHIPPERS ON MOST THINGS#BUT THE SHIP STILL KINDA PISSES ME OFF IDK WHY IM SORRY IT JUST RUBS ME THE WRONG WAY I HAVE TRIED TO LOVE IT I REALLY HAVE BUT I CANT#AND MADARA HAD SOME GOOD POINTS BUT I THINK ITS SHITTY THAT HE ABANDONED HIS CLAN AND THEN PLOTTED THE END OF THE FUCKING WORLD#ALSO ITACHI HAD LIKE OTHER OPTIONS!???? WHY THE FUCK DID HE TORTURE SASUKE TWICE LIKE 😭😭😭#WHAT WAS THE POINT MY G WHY ARE YOU TORTURING HIM I THINK THE MENTAL IMAGE OF THEM DYING WAS ENOUGH DIDNT NEED TO GIVE HIM 500000 EXAMPLES#WE AS A SOCIETY DO NOT TALK ENOUGH ABOUT THE FACT THAT WHEN MADARA ASKED HASHIRAMA TO EITHER KHS OR KILL TOBIRAMA#TOBIRAMA GENUINELY THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT THAT HASHIRAMA WOULD GO AFTER HIS THROAT FOR LIKE- THIS GUY WHO HE USED TO THROW STONES WITH!???#ITS SO DIFFICULT TO FIND PEOPLE WHO UNDERSTAND SASUKES TRAUMA AND WHO LIKES SASUSAKU 😭😭#COS LIKE ILL 100% ADMIT THAT THE RELATIONSHIP WAS WRITTEN SHITILY AND SUCKED AND DESPITE THE FACT THAT THEYRE SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE BROTHERS#SNS HAS BETTER WRITING THAN SSK OR NRHN SOMEHOW???? ITS WRITTEN SO WELL PEOPLE GENUINELY BELIEVE THE ORIGINAL PLOT HAD SNS PLANNED#BUT ALSO SAKURA IS SO SILLY AND STRONG AND DID ANY OF YOU READ SASUKE RETSUDEN “Trapped by a body he knew perfectly”#OKAY SASUKE YOURE ON A MISSION??? CALM THE FUCK DOWN 😭😭#NO AND IN LIKE SSK FICS SASUKE IS SOME BAD BOY WHO JUST SMIRKS AND IS EMOTIONLESS AND SAKURA IS SOOOOO EMOTIONAL FUCK OFF YOU TWATS!!!!#SASUKE IS THE KITTEN!! SAKURA SO OBVIOUSLY RADIATES DADDY ENERGY YALL ARE FUCKING INSANE!!!#WHY DO WE GET KITTEN SASUKE IN EVERY OTHER SHIP BUT THE FUCKING CANON ONE!! AT MY FUCKING!!!! LIMIT!!!#FIND SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS THE COMPLEXITYS OF SASUKES CHARACTER AND UNDERSTANDS WHAT TRAUMA DOES TO A PERSON YET DOESNT HATE SSK CHALLENG#Uh oh I went a bit mad there hahaha#I REGRET NOTHING SASUKE DID NOTHING WRONG SAKURA IS GIRL BOSS AND THE NARUTO WORLD IS EITHER UNEXPLAINABLY VIOLENT OR FAR TOO FORGIVING#naruto#naruto shippuden#itachi uchiha#pro sasuke#haruno sakura#Pro Sakura#Sasuke Uchiha#sasuke did nothing wrong#It looks awkward to just go from all those long tags to the iddy bitty ones#Moldy-flowers#Kitten and daddy? Tf am i on about I've been watching too much game grumps shi 😭😭
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knowing i should take a step back from tumblr for my own wellbeing vs. being emotionally attached to this app and the people on it
#tumblr would be tumblr without me—as would the self ship community. it’s silly for me to feel so invested this Thing that is just that:#a Thing. it can’t give me the love or care or satisfaction with life that i’m looking for. i’ve been hiding on here—escaping reality.#because it’s fun to live in an imaginary world where i’m everything i want to be. where i’m the main character.#but in doing so i’ve been neglecting the ugly parts of my real life; the pain and hurt and harsh realities.#over the past couple months it has become apparent to me that i tend to put too much trust and effort into people#who have neither the capacity nor the desire to reciprocate.#so i just look like a fool in the end. (this isn’t about anyone here—just a pattern of behavior in general.)#at the end of the day#having thousands of followers on tumblr has no impact on my real life. if anything it makes me feel more isolated than ever.#because it’s yet another arena where i feel like i have to carve out my own space; i’ve never been good at taking up space.#anyway i suppose i’ll take the weekend away and see how i feel. i’ve had a lot of shit happening irl that has been so horribly difficult.#so maybe getting through all of that will help me feel more comfortable on my own blog again.#if you read this all i’m so sorry. i’ll prob regret posting my heartfelt thoughts in the future but at this very moment i don’t care.#self preservation be damned.#please support ficsforgaza; i’ll still be helping aleks over there because it’s one of the few places where i feel useful.#okay i’m done now. i’ll see you later. i wish you all so much love and nothing but the best.#tw personal
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i feel your pain about dot and bubble 😭😭😭 white people understand the worlds most obvious race allegory and racism challenge (impossible)
It Was Not Subtle. Jesus Christ.
ive typed out like four or five different paragraphs about it and deleted them because i just can’t put into words the experience of watching that episode After knowing how everyone reacted to it on airing. there was some part of me that was being overly generous in thinking that Maybe there really was something missable about this, but i’ve seen it now. it’s. you can’t. you can’t possibly miss it. it’s there from minute one and it’s so viscerally uncomfortable being Stuck with lindy while she constantly insults the doctor and ignores him and. god. god.
i think it was the right choice, for the episode, to stage it from lindy’s pov. but i’m also so so aware that it’s putting things from her perspective that’s got to be making some people just. able to be willfully ignorant about it. and i think the sudden wave of ricky september love is the most telling bit because. the thing about ricky. is that lindy likes him. is that he saves her. is that he’s kind and reassuring and sweet to her.
and the thing about ricky is that the one time we see him interact with the doctor. he can’t even look at him except for the one moment where he’s telling the doctor to stop being condescending to him. the same way lindy did earlier.
at the end, it’s very easy for people to turn on lindy. ‘yeah, of course, lindy’s a bitch, lindy’s racist, we all see that now! unlike ricky, who would have changed.’ it feels like. people very easily could cut themselves off from the nasty parts of lindy, proclaim Well, I Would Never Be Like Her, while refusing to acknowledge that they are still empathizing mainly with her and her pov. just pretending that that pov can be taken away from her racism. does that make sense? i’m not sure i’m wording it correctly.
because the episode i watched, i know that last scene wouldn’t have changed if it was lindy or ricky there. the only difference would be that ricky wouldn’t look at the doctor while he was telling him it was his duty to save them but that he was not one of them. lindy was bold enough in her ignorance and hatred to not care. so. idk. closing thoughts, tldr, what a good fucking episode. shame about the people who think the only thing you have to do to not be racist is to be ashamed and aware of it as you continue on acting the same way you would have before.
#it frustrates me so much because it feels like. the episode is practically yelling at you ‘Hey! Hi! If this is too difficult for you! If you#for some reason can’t understand or empathize with the shit the Doctor’s going through! That’s fine! We brought Ruby along to make it#digestible for you! Please look at Ruby and observe that she is angered and upset when her friend is disrespected!’#it feels like they knew that people would easily miss the message and miss the takeaway and that’s why ruby is there and why her reactions#are in the shot almost every time until the very very end. they just. underestimated that people would instead latch onto lindy and ricky#rather than attaching themselves to ruby and at the very least understanding what was wrong through her. if they couldn’t see what the#doctor was being subjected to of their own accord. it’s frustrating.#god i hope that makes sense its all very messily organized thoughts rn since i just finished the episode#ask#dw lb
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Genuinely, I'm taking longer to get over chapter 36 than the other episodes. The Silt Verses has tragedy, it has pain and horrible things, but at least we have catharsis.
In the end of S1, we thought it was over, and though Carpenter's presumed-death wasn't in her great moment of screaming against her former god, we still had a sense of finality. Of work being done.
Even smaller characters, like Dennis and Sister Thurrocks had strong, lasting impact in shaping the narrative and their deaths came with a punch.
But then we get to chapter 36 and we get softness. We have two people who grasp desperately for little hopes while trying to stay on the fence because they know that good things don't last.
Is there anything crueler than a god of hope?
Everything is cut short for them, before anything impactful and true change happens. They're left at the edge of happiness and then die with a whimper. There's no finality or great catharsis, it just feels unfair.
You could say the ending is ambiguous, but if you're Sebastian you know you lost. And you'll spend every day doubting this miracle, waiting for the catch, for the other shoe to fall. You won't be able to hear Dev's soft reassurances that it's okay and believe him. Any prospect of anything getting better is soured by your cynicism.
This is just what life already was for Seb. He just has even more reason to believe he is right.
#disclaimer: this one felt incredibly personal. i have thought about this scenario before. i am projecting badly.#it is so incredibly difficult to believe things can be better!!! that happiness isn't a lie!!!!!#and maybe im a damn pessimist but i don't think seb killed the man in the walls!!!!!!#and fuck!!!! he thinks so too!!!!!! that's the worst part!!!! because i would feel the same way#sun.txt#the silt verses#tsv#tsv spoilers#tsv 36
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