#i think when making these you should have to disclose how many times you got dress-coded in high school bc i do not trust their judgment
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doppiomacchiato · 6 months ago
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i wish i could find reliable inspo for work clothes without influencers in office siren cosplay everywhere get that tube top out of my face and stop pissing me off
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the-joy-of-knowledge · 1 year ago
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25 Laws of power for women
Conceal your goals especially the ones that are appealing. Losing weight, reinventing yourself, marrying wealthy. Instead talk about your altruistic goals - to help children, invest in education, this will chase insecure people with vile intentions.
Do not give anyone your source of power: Was is a book that changed your life? a mentor? a movie? Never give up your secret to success. If forced to do say allude to God, the universe, the a random phenomenon
Use the patriarchy to your favor; we live in a world that is, only associate with men who have power, use that power for good.
Never appear too perfect but be selectively vulnerable when needed. Only share something that you will be comfortable saying. You might say “I forget my keys all the time,” “I don’t know how to perfectly park a car “. But never disclose something you are not comfortable with just because you are afraid of being perfect.
Maintain distance in relationships. Friends are the best and you need them. But if you feel that they are becoming too dependent, see them at your own will. But also the reverse could be the case. Your friend may keep a distance, and that is the way of life. You have got to move on from it.
Develop your own style that makes you unique, beautiful, and elegant. Avoid trying to fit in the crowd of people who claim to care less about their style yet have too many opinions about other women’s style
Avoid male friends at all cost, you will have male colleagues, male bosses, male acquaintances, business partners. Keep it that way. You do not want a Truman Capote divulging your secrets to the world. Do not keep a man who does not fit your standard.
You do not have to win at every game. Pick and choose what is best for you and leave room for others. And step down if you have attained that level of success, do not let the society do it for you.
Trust people but remember that we are all humans. So trust with discretion!
Confuse people with kindness; people are not always comfortable with beautiful and intelligent women. That power is too intimidating so confuse them by being genuinely generous, curious, kind, and passionate.
Keep your strong opinions to yourself.. if you support a movement, a way of life, do so silently.
We all have dirty laundry, wash them privately, don’t expose yourself. Remain silent when people try to attack you or shame you. Whatever is not confirmed is not true. You are the only one who knows all the truth about you.
Don’t attract pity or praise: People who pity you do not help you, in fact they might think that you are weak and could mock you at their annual gossipping meeting. And if you are doing things for the sake of praise you are wasting your time.
Choose yourself all the time; never put any one’s feelings above yours.
Trust your own intuition if you feel someone is being malicious towards you, giving you back handed compliments then you should let them go
Never speak bad of another woman. Do not lazy around gossipping. Keep your hands clean and your conscience clear.
Avoid women with low self esteem they will bring you down. For some reason they do not like seeing other women who are doing better than them
Be careful who you seek validation from. Not everyone needs to be pleased. If they are in no way capable of contributing to your life in the ways you prefer, then don’t ask them for their opinions or please them.
Do not compete with other women, if you do you are only putting them on a pedestal. You are making the the standard by which you measure your progress. If you do compete, begin digging your grave.
Do not give unsolicited advice, do not share the inner workings of your mind, If your mouth is very charitable you better start journaling.
Be well-rounded and interesting. It attracts people. It also keeps you busy because you are continually improving and learning. An idle mind is an easily subdued one.
Avoid women who want to live vicariously through you; they want to know who you know, shop where you shop, befriend who you befriend, wear what you wear.
Pay attention to the source of your discomfort; get rid of them. You tell them your dreams and they remind you of all your hindrances. They ask why are you dressed so fancy as though fancy isn’t subjective. They undermine you interests and goals. They will also be quick to bring you down because they are afraid of your potential.
Do not fear power or please power. When we see powerful people we try to hard to befriend them, to be close to them but you need to be comfortable without them. Don’t push yourself in the name of friendship, do not try too hard to be in their inner circle. Your independence of mind is the most important. Instead become a powerful woman, aloof to the presence of power but aware of its importance. Be an ingenious and intelligent and use your creativity to uplift yourself. When you do so it will be hard to ignore you. Even the powerful will become an ally.
Enjoy moments of solitude. Use that time to develop yourself, improve your body, learn new skills, create with your mind, read widely, become more elegant, then launch yourself.
Remember the most powerful women are the most intelligent. Inspired by Robert Greene's 48 Laws of Power. Use at your discretion.
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soobuneary · 28 days ago
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A Kiss, and then a Bite (7) - Choi Soobin X Reader
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Warning: cursing, uhh i think that's it this chapter?
Summary: You knew something was off about your roommate Soobin ever since the beginning of your living arrangement. One night he reveals his true self to you, and you know you can never go back to how things were before. Not that you would want to, anyway.
Word Count: 3.9k
*cross-posted on ao3
part one! part two! part three! part four! part five! part six!
Song: Follow You by Bring Me The Horizon
I want to apologize in advance if any details in this chapter contradict what I've written previously. I reread the previous chapters over and over but I still feel like I missed some stuff already disclosed. If you catch an error, please let me know! Okay, please enjoy! :)
The bed was empty beside you, you noted, as you stirred awake. Instead of Soobin, you found a note on his pillow. ‘I have a morning final, I’ll see you later.’ His handwriting was atrocious, and yet it was endearing, as was the shittily doodled heart beside it.
Thankfully the last of your final exams were tomorrow, and today was an open study day, so you didn’t need to worry about the fact you had woken up so late. So late, in fact, you heard the front door open.
You climbed out of his bed. Heat was already finding your cheeks at the thought of seeing him after what had happened last night. That embarrassment furthered when you realized you were only wearing your underwear and one of his t-shirts.
His bedroom door creaked open, “Are you still in here, Y/N?”
“Yeah,” your voice was more of a squeak as you adjusted the shirt. Looking presentable was futile, most likely, but there was an attempt.
When you looked up at him your breath got caught in your chest. Much like yesterday, your roommate who often opted for hoodies and sweats, was wearing a white button-up with a blue sweater over top. His midnight black hair was parted to one side, and you couldn’t help but think how unfair it is to be seen next to a being so inhumanly beautiful.
He smiled at you. “Just getting up?”
A second wave of embarrassment washed over you. “Yes.”
“No need to be shy with me.” He walked closer to you, stopping when he was within arms reach so he could gently rub your forearms. “Do you have any plans for today?”
“Umm, only studying for my finals tomorrow. Why?”
His smile turned shy, and he started to look more like the roommate you’ve been with for the last several months. “I’m meeting up with my parents tonight, and I want you to come with me.”
For a few moments your brain stopped working. While Soobin was technically a vampire, a creature that should be terrifying in theory, he was someone you could trust. Going in somewhat blind to who knows how many vampires seemed like a terrible idea. 
He must have seen the cogs turning in your head. “There’s no pressure, Y/N.”
He seemed to be saying that to you a lot lately, and you appreciated how much he respected your boundaries. “Is it just going to be your parents?”
“No,” he made a face like he was making a list in his head. “Some of the other clan members as well, and my brothers.”
“You have brothers?” Something pleasant whirled inside you for learning a new side of him.
He sensed your newfound excitement and nodded. “We all three turned around the same time, but I’m the oldest.”
Soobin as an older brother, you mused. As much as the idea of walking into a pit of vampires scared you, you desperately wanted to see this newly revealed side of him.
“So where are we going then?”
“Not far.” He stepped even closer to you and intertwined his hands with yours. “They are already staying in the city. This dinner is to celebrate my father’s 400th year as leader of the clan.”
You looked down and away from his face. His father hadn’t seemed so happy with you the first time you met. “Are you sure I’m welcome? I don’t want to go where I’m not wanted.”
“I’ve already asked, it’s fine.” He released one hand so he could use it to tilt your face back toward him. “And no one is going to lay a finger on you. That’s what you’re worried about, right?”
You had to admit it, “Kind of.”
His hand slipped from your chin down to your shoulder. “They may be vampires, but they’re not savages.” He laughed, “If anything, they’re more diplomatic than humans.”
You nodded. As long as you don’t stay out too late you’d be okay for your finals the next day, right?  “Okay, I’ll go with you.”
Soobin pulled you into a hug, and your worries began to melt away. If he wanted you there, surely he would protect you if anything went wrong. A small part of you acknowledged that in human terms it was way too soon for you to be meeting his parents. You hadn’t even established what you two were yet. Maybe vampires, you thought, moved much faster despite living so long.
“It’s not too soon, I think.” His voice was a whisper, like he was saying it to himself, but you heard it.
You pulled away from him slightly. “Are you reading my mind?”
He looked down at you, further away now but still in his embrace, and grinned cheekily. “Not in a weird, vampire-power mind-reading way. But yes, I think after knowing you for a while I know a thing or two about you.”
You put your cheek to his chest and listened for a heartbeat that you knew in the back of your mind wouldn’t be there. “Yes, yes, we’ve established that you’re a Y/N expert.”
He laughed, and you felt the rumbles against your cheek. “You know far more about me than I ever imagined sharing. So I guess that makes you a Soobin expert.”
You hummed in response. You didn’t want to think too long about how giddy it made you to know he felt safe sharing with you.
“Y/N?”
You looked up at him once more. “Yes?”
“We’ve got some shopping to do.”
Soobin explained to you on the way to the mall the details of the celebration taking place tonight. Vampires, he explained, were ‘way too into’ formal events and lavish parties. Tonight was no exception. That didn’t stop your rush of nerves, however, whenever Soobin led you into a store you knew you didn’t belong in.
You were surprised that the security at the door didn’t stop you when they saw you, until they smiled and welcomed Soobin by his name. Of course they knew him, there was no other way they’d let you, dressed in ripped jeans and off-brand sneakers, in this store without a few questions.
Of course they knew him, and you felt slightly uneasy thinking about if he was a frequent visitor because of the gifts he always got for his donors.
You didn’t have time to ponder it, as Soobin grabbed your hand and led you through the store. The two of you walked past all the racks until you reached the very back where the dressing rooms were.
“Mr. Choi, it’s a pleasure to see you again.” A middle-aged woman with a sleek, brown bob and dressed in business casual welcomed him. She shook his hand and then looked over to you, her expression faltering some before she went back in retail mode. She smiled, “Who is this?”
Your uneasiness from before grew larger than what felt safe. Who were you? His friend with benefits? His roommate that he fucked last night? Just a friend? Somehow the last one hurt the most.
“This is my girlfriend, Y/N.”
You couldn’t let yourself get too happy, you thought, as he might’ve said that to avoid any awkward conversations about why he was bringing someone who was just his roommate here.
The woman clapped her hands together. “Alright, and what is the occasion?”
Soobin casually put his hands in his pockets. “We’re going to a dinner party thrown by my parents.”
“Leave it to me, then.” 
He left you with the worker, much to your dismay, to browse the men’s clothing section. The woman, whose name you had learned was Stephanie, was kind enough. She asked about what kind of clothes you were comfortable with, and worked to find something that was both comfortable for you and right for the occasion.
However, the dress you ended up with was hardly appropriate for meeting someone’s parents. It was dark blue with a sweetheart neckline with short sleeves off the shoulders, but almost short enough to be a good clubbing outfit. Almost.
Soobin, who had wandered back over, lit up like a Christmas tree when he saw it though. When seeing his expression it seemed you had no other choice.
After you had changed back into your clothes, you walked over to where Soobin was paying for the dress, some strappy heels, and a dark blue tie for himself. You really hadn’t meant to look at the screen, and your eyes widened in shock at the price. If you were the confrontational type you could’ve tried to stop him, but you bit your tongue and let him pay.
When you both arrived home you went your separate ways into your own rooms to get dressed for the evening. You opted to wear dark pantyhose under your dress, for protection against the cold, December air but also to make your dress slightly more modest. You tried to make your hair and makeup look as glamorous as the dress, and after putting on the black heels you stepped shyly into the living room.
Soobin was standing near the entrance of the apartment with his back toward you. Upon hearing your door creak, he called out, “Are you ready, Y/N?”
You walked over to him. “Yeah, I think so.”
He turned to face you, and his expression turned soft. His eyes scanned you over, and you could feel your body heating up at his inspection. “Wow.”
You awkwardly laughed, “I clean up pretty good, right?”
His eyes found yours, and you could’ve fallen into them if you gazed long enough. “You look beautiful.”
“Thanks.” The air was comfortable and you wished you could’ve kept looking at him like that forever. His lips upturned in a small smile, his eyes holding more adoration than you’d ever seen, and it was all for you; if only you could pause time.
He pulled a small but long box out of his pocket. “Turn around, please.”
Anticipation of what you knew was coming filled you with joy. “Okay.”
After a few moments you felt the cool touch of a necklace hit your skin. He clasped it on, and you looked down to inspect it. It went down low, almost into the neckline of your dress. It was silver, and held a small teardrop-shaped sapphire.
“Oh my god.” It was the only thing you could say as you held the jewel in your fingers.
You could hear the smile dripping in his voice. “Do you like it?”
You turned to face him. You didn’t think you were ever going to get used to the expensive gifts, but that didn’t mean you could stop the happiness of knowing he picked something out with you in mind. No matter how cliche, and no matter how much this felt like a cheesy romance novel, you allowed yourself to enjoy this moment. “It’s beautiful.”
You took in the sight of him. He wore a black button up with his blue tie, dark gray, fitted suit pants and a gray coat over him, and damn, he was the one who looked beautiful, you thought.
He slipped a hand into yours. “Shall we?”
You nodded and braced yourself for what was to come.
The ride to the venue was short, but Soobin spent the whole ride giving you the rundown of his basic clan history while he drove.
Soobin’s clan of vampires was one that began in Europe, and had made its way around the world over time. The vampire he saw as his father, Peter, was ‘ancient’ according to Soobin, and no one knew how old he truly was. He didn’t remember much about his human life, but had he been turned in his mid-thirties. He joined their current clan, the Aldrich clan, then later took over as clan leader in 1624 when the clan had been relocated to the forming United States. Soobin had been turned in 1832 in Korea, where the Aldrich clan had been at the time and when the random-turning movement he mentioned before had been happening. He was taken in by Peter a few months later.
“What about your brothers?” You were taking all the information he was giving you and processing as quickly as you could.
“Their names are Taehyun and Kai. They were turned around a year after me, and I was the one who found them.”
“Found them?”
He was looking at the road, but you could see in his eyes his sympathy as the memory refreshed in his mind. “They were so confused, so hurt and needed guidance. I found Taehyun while hunting in the woods. He looked wild, he had a thirst and he didn't know how to quench it. He explained to me what had happened, saying he didn’t know if I’d believe him, and then led me to his best friend Kai.” He smiled again, the sadness leaving him as he grinned. “We took them in and they’ve been annoying me ever since.”
You laughed, “Isn’t that what brothers do?”
“I guess so. ”Just then, Soobin turned the car into a hotel parking lot. It looked gaudy and grand, and the thought occurred to you that maybe you didn’t know exactly how rich his family really was. You knew they must be wealthy, sure, but this was a bit much. Then again, he said vampires had a taste for the lavish things in life.
When he pulled up the valet station, he grabbed your hand and turned to face you. “Ready?”
You could hear the nerves in your voice. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”
He pulled your hand up to his mouth to kiss it gently. “That’s my girl.”
After opening your door for you and giving the keys to his car to the valet attendant, Soobin led you to the top floor of the hotel where his clan had rented out a lounge. You wondered the whole way up if the hotel staff knew they were entertaining a multitude of vampires for the evening.
‘Some’ of his clan members turned out to be quite the crowd. The lounge lights were dim, and everyone around you was dressed so extravagantly that despite knowing you looked good enough to be there with them, you started to feel self-conscious. Everyone you passed looked at you as Soobin led you to a table near the back of the room. Either news had spread that you were coming or every single one of them sensed the presence of a human among them. Their expressions varied, some indifferent, some courteous, but the ones you couldn’t ignore were hungry, to say the least.
Finally, the two of you reached the back of the room and approached a small round table where two men already sat. Soobin pulled your seat out for you to sit, which earned a sound of amusement from a younger-looking boy. He was blonde and honestly looked like a Greek statue. His features were carved so beautifully, you noted as you sat.
The blonde laughed and clasped his hands together. “Hyung is on his best behavior.”
Soobin shook his head as he sat beside you, “I always am, Kai.”
That was his brother Kai. “Hello,” you introduced yourself, “I’m Y/N.”
Kai smiled brightly at you. “No introduction needed. Everyone knows who you are here, you’re a legend.”
That made you nervous. “A legend?”
The brunette beside him lightly elbowed his side. “Don’t scare her.” He looked at you, and his eyes were big and clear. He was as equally beautiful as the man beside him. “I’m Taehyun, pleased to meet you.”
“It’s nice to meet you.” You sounded confident and friendly, which was good, because on the inside you were a wreck. You were right; everyone knew about your attendance already.
“What I meant to say was,” Kai stated, “Everyone is happy to have you here. Not everyone is brave enough to willingly enter a vampire den.”
Brave, he said. He’s kind. “Thank you.”
Soobin interjected, “Have you talked to Mom and Dad yet?”
“No.” Taehyun answered, “They’ve been busy saying hi to everyone. It’s going to start soon, though.”
Soobin noticed the confusion on your face as he turned to you. “I told you vampires are super formal, yeah? My father is going to make some kind of grand speech, then a few more speeches probably, then everyone is probably going to get wasted.”
“Not me!” Kai chirped. “I have a final tomorrow morning!”
“You’re also a student?”
“Yes!” He answered, “I go to the same university as you and hyung.”
“What do you study?”
 Kai grinned widely at your interest. “I’m a music student. I want to be a producer.”
“That’s so cool!” You looked at the man beside him. “Are you also a student?”
“Yes.” Taehyun replied, “But I don’t live or attend university here. I still live at the main house.”
Just then, someone tapped a microphone and cut the conversation short. “Good evening, everybody.”
Everyone in the room stopped their conversations and looked toward the main stage of the lounge. A tall, dark-haired man spoke. “As the clan’s head advisor, I want to thank every member from our clan and ally clans who came to celebrate Peter tonight.” There was light applause before he continued. “Peter Aldrich has been a long-time friend and leader for many of us, and it is a great honor to have him and his wife at the head of our clan for so long.”
His speech went on for a bit, but as he spoke you quietly observed the room. Vampires of many different appearances were gathered here. Some looked as old as eighty, and others as young as children. How old those ‘children’ really were though was a different story.
A loud round of clapping and cheering caught your attention. When you looked back toward the stage, the announcer was hugging the man you recognized as Soobin’s father, Peter Aldrich. After a few more moments of cheering, his father took the mic and began to speak.
“Thank you, everyone. I want to start by saying it has been my life’s biggest privilege to lead this clan.” His eyes scanned the room until they fell on your table. Soobin let out a quiet exhale, but you heard it. Gently, you placed a hand on his knee to show your support.
Peter turned his gaze away and continued, “You are all my family. We have experienced life's biggest joys and losses, the fortunes and misfortunes, together.”
His speech went on. Beside you, Soobin was starting to look more and more uneasy. You leaned over to him and whispered, “Are you okay?”
He turned his face toward you and whispered back, “Yes. I’m just hoping this goes okay.”
“That what goes okay?”
“My sons.” You pulled away from him as Peter caught your table’s attention again. “I would like to thank them for giving me the sense of family I once feared had been taken away. Watching you grow has been my life’s greatest joy. Soobin, Taehyun, Kai, if you would come up here please.”
The three men stood and left you alone. Fear overtook you as you were suddenly alone. Soobin had said before that these vampires weren’t savages, that they were diplomatic, but still you felt unsafe without his protective aura beside you.
They stood beside their father, and god, you couldn’t help but notice how their otherworldly beauty shined so much more when they were next to each other. It was a triple kill.
“I won’t decide tonight, but,” Peter placed his hand on Soobin’s shoulder. “Sometime soon, one of my son’s will take my place.” You watched for Soobin’s reaction, looking for any sign of anxiety, but he looked composed. “I hope when that time comes, you will trust my judgment and welcome him with an open mind and heart.”
He wrapped up his speech, and as the party commenced in full swing you stood. There was a strong need within you to check on Soobin, to make sure he felt okay, as you knew taking over this clan was the last thing he wanted.
You were intercepted by the woman who had come to your apartment before, his mother. “Excuse me, dear. May I have a minute?”
Your blood ran cold. You didn’t want to be apart from him a minute longer. You wanted the safety net that his presence provided. But you nodded, you felt unable to deny a request. “Of course.”
As you followed her to the balcony, you caught Soobin’s gaze across the room. He was surrounded by his clan members. They were congratulating him, presumably, but he looked at you. His eyes were pooled with concern and uncertainty.
You willed yourself to look away and stepped out onto the balcony with his mother.
She walked all the way to the railing before she turned to look at you. “I’m sure you know who I am, but I’ll tell you anyway. I’m Caroline, Soobin’s vampiric mother.”
The moment after he had drank your blood flashed back to your mind, when his phone had lit up with a call from ‘Caroline’.
“Yes, hello ma’am. My name is Y/N, I’m Soobin’s roommate.”
She smiled wryly. “His roommate.” There was an uncomfortable silence before she spoke again. “We didn’t know why he was so intent on going to university again, and why he was so adamant about living away from us. But, oh, is it clear now.”
You shifted your weight on your feet. You were under heavy scrutiny. “What do you mean?”
“There’s nothing worse than playing dumb.” She took a step toward you. “It’s obvious he’s grown an attachment toward you, and it’s caused him to not prioritize his responsibilities to his family.”
You swallowed hard. “Have you considered his feelings at all? I have nothing to do with him not wanting to be leader of the Aldrich clan.”
Caroline raised an eyebrow. “You’re quite bold. But boldness can equate to foolishness.”
“If it’s foolish to stand up for him, you can call me a fool.” Normally you wouldn’t be so brash, but your anger on his behalf fuelled your confidence. “But I think you should try to hear him out.”
She sighed, then turned back toward the railing of the balcony. “It’s so easy for you to take his side when you know nothing about the situation, I suppose.”
“What should I know, then?”
“You should,” another sigh. A pause, and then, “You shouldn’t know anything. You shouldn’t even know that vampires exist. It's cursed knowledge, and something that will only lead you to despair.”
Your heart thumped painfully in your chest. Was she not angry, but sympathetic? Emotion was bubbling up inside you, and although you had never admitted this to anyone, not even yourself, you had to tell her. Someone had to know that it wasn’t a curse to know Soobin. “There’s something you shouldn’t know as well, but I’m going to tell you anyway.”
The noise of the party was emanating from inside, but the air felt silent. She was silent.
“I’m in love with your son.”
You didn’t breathe, you couldn’t, and she stood still. Neither of you said anything for a few moments, until she finally turned to face you.
“You were right.” She closed her eyes and shook her head, and a sad smile overtook her beautiful face. 
“You really are a fool.”
Taglist: @human-misery @agnes13stone @lun4mizuka @xodidarks @dalnimmie @iknowimlate18 @roseynoodles @usuallyunlikelyfox @cryingdonuts
Thank you all for reading! <3
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bookquotenet · 13 days ago
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25 Laws of power for women
Conceal your goals especially the ones that are appealing. Losing weight, reinventing yourself, marrying wealthy. Instead talk about your altruistic goals - to help children, invest in education, this will chase insecure people with vile intentions.
Do not give anyone your source of power: Was is a book that changed your life? a mentor? a movie? Never give up your secret to success. If forced to do say allude to God, the universe, the a random phenomenon
Use the patriarchy to your favor; we live in a world that is, only associate with men who have power, use that power for good.
Never appear too perfect but be selectively vulnerable when needed. Only share something that you will be comfortable saying. You might say “I forget my keys all the time,” “I don’t know how to perfectly park a car “. But never disclose something you are not comfortable with just because you are afraid of being perfect.
Maintain distance in relationships. Friends are the best and you need them. But if you feel that they are becoming too dependent, see them at your own will. But also the reverse could be the case. Your friend may keep a distance, and that is the way of life. You have got to move on from it.
Develop your own style that makes you unique, beautiful, and elegant. Avoid trying to fit in the crowd of people who claim to care less about their style yet have too many opinions about other women’s style
Avoid male friends at all cost, you will have male colleagues, male bosses, male acquaintances, business partners. Keep it that way. You do not want a Truman Capote divulging your secrets to the world. Do not keep a man who does not fit your standard.
You do not have to win at every game. Pick and choose what is best for you and leave room for others. And step down if you have attained that level of success, do not let the society do it for you.
Trust people but remember that we are all humans. So trust with discretion!
Confuse people with kindness; people are not always comfortable with beautiful and intelligent women. That power is too intimidating so confuse them by being genuinely generous, curious, kind, and passionate.
Keep your strong opinions to yourself.. if you support a movement, a way of life, do so silently.
We all have dirty laundry, wash them privately, don’t expose yourself. Remain silent when people try to attack you or shame you. Whatever is not confirmed is not true. You are the only one who knows all the truth about you.
Don’t attract pity or praise: People who pity you do not help you, in fact they might think that you are weak and could mock you at their annual gossipping meeting. And if you are doing things for the sake of praise you are wasting your time.
Choose yourself all the time; never put any one’s feelings above yours.
Trust your own intuition if you feel someone is being malicious towards you, giving you back handed compliments then you should let them go
Never speak bad of another woman. Do not lazy around gossipping. Keep your hands clean and your conscience clear.
Avoid women with low self esteem they will bring you down. For some reason they do not like seeing other women who are doing better than them
Be careful who you seek validation from. Not everyone needs to be pleased. If they are in no way capable of contributing to your life in the ways you prefer, then don’t ask them for their opinions or please them.
Do not compete with other women, if you do you are only putting them on a pedestal. You are making the the standard by which you measure your progress. If you do compete, begin digging your grave.
Do not give unsolicited advice, do not share the inner workings of your mind, If your mouth is very charitable you better start journaling.
Be well-rounded and interesting. It attracts people. It also keeps you busy because you are continually improving and learning. An idle mind is an easily subdued one.
Avoid women who want to live vicariously through you; they want to know who you know, shop where you shop, befriend who you befriend, wear what you wear.
Pay attention to the source of your discomfort; get rid of them. You tell them your dreams and they remind you of all your hindrances. They ask why are you dressed so fancy as though fancy isn’t subjective. They undermine you interests and goals. They will also be quick to bring you down because they are afraid of your potential.
Do not fear power or please power. When we see powerful people we try to hard to befriend them, to be close to them but you need to be comfortable without them. Don’t push yourself in the name of friendship, do not try too hard to be in their inner circle. Your independence of mind is the most important. Instead become a powerful woman, aloof to the presence of power but aware of its importance. Be an ingenious and intelligent and use your creativity to uplift yourself. When you do so it will be hard to ignore you. Even the powerful will become an ally.
Enjoy moments of solitude. Use that time to develop yourself, improve your body, learn new skills, create with your mind, read widely, become more elegant, then launch yourself.
Remember the most powerful women are the most intelligent. Inspired by Robert Greene's 48 Laws of Power. Use at your discretion.
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putschki1969 · 4 months ago
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Hello Sarah,
First of all, thank you for the insight on the matter. I know you are super busy and not in the perfect mood (trust me I'm not doing any better) considering what happened, so I leave it up to you if you want to post this or not as it may be abit too dark of a message.
I know these past couple of days have been disheartening and disappointing, especially when you feel powerless to do something right now other than support the girls.
Part of me was thinking, "Why we the fans don't do something about it?", like signing a petition with a respectful message towards Yuki to reconsider, and for the future FJ/YKL events (since this year has already been decided) to include Keiko (and Hikaru, Wakana if possible) again.
However, I'm also thinking that this may add fuel to the fire and maybe it's something that the girls and Keiko foremost would not want us to do, considering how subtle and professional she was in her statement.
I'm not gonna lie that with all this s...show, makes me worry about Keiko's wellbeing.
Seeing 20 years worth of work thrown out of the window from someone who you have utmost respect and getting the silent treatment from people you have long friendships it's a tough pill to swallow.
Considering what we have seen with other Japanese celebrities over the years, it's a thought that gives me shudders.
Now, we never know what is going on behind the scenes, and I pray that the connections are still there.
Apologies if my message got a bit dark there, but some tend to forget that we're dealing with human beings.
Hopefully, we will have some good news in the near future to turn things around. We really need a breather after all this. For every low, there's a high as they say! 🙏
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Hi there!
Thank you for being so considerate. I am in fact having a very hard time right now. Questions are piling up in my inbox and every post inspires a new wave of replies. It's a uphill battle for sure. But don't worry, it's mostly my fault for feeling too overwhelmed and not knowing when to stop🙃. I want to try my best to clarify the situation as best as possible and to answer any open question. I also feel the need to explain myself if things didn't come across properly. Oh well, in short, I am happy to reply to your ask even if it's a tricky topic.
Hmm, yeah, I don't think petitions directed at creators or artists are ever a good idea. I'm actually strictly against them. Even if we hate the current developments, we have ultimately no choice but to respect those decisions or move on to another fandom that brings us more joy. Of course we can be critical and question all the things that are happening but we should always do it in a contained space, in our own little fandom corner, far away from any of the involved parties. With a delicate matter such as this, it would probably cause more harm than good to publicly express our dissatisfaction and make demands. Everything in this feud boils down to keeping your head low, avoiding confrontation, being quiet and not disclosing any valuable information.
And yes, as you say, based on Keiko's comment, she would definitely not want us to do anything drastic that would draw attention to us. and could potentially make Yuki look bad. She has taken this decision in stride so as her fans, we should probably be able to do so as well. It's gonna take a little while longer but that's basically what I'm working towards. Just have to get rid of some of my bitterness.
Keiko is strong, I think we don't have to worry about her. She has stayed true to her word in her last Yodel message and gone back to her regular routine as if nothing happened. Like always, she has been wishing us a good morning with a funny emoji, she has given us glimpses into her work day and made sure to emphasise how much fun she's been having (probably to give us some peace of mind). Yesterday, she apparently had a super fun photo shoot. Many of the photos will be useless because of her cracking up and laughing like crazy [She didn't specify but I think this might have been for a new calendar? I wouldn't know what other things she would do a photo shoot for. Maybe the Undokai festival will have a pamphlet or something? I don't know.] Today was filled with lots of meetings [Once again, no idea what for but I'm kinda hopeful it was Kalafina related since Hikaru's tweet about starting "another task" for the day - implying that she had been doing something else before - came around the same time as Keiko's message on Yodel, saying that she was done with interviews for the day] . She got home pretty late but apparently she had a blast and time went by super quickly. She treated herself to some chocolate and sent an adorable picture. I cannot possibly gatekeep this precious photo so here you go!
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For my part, I am confident that none of their connections are severed. It's a rough patch for sure and what is being conveyed to he public seems very harsh. But there's so much more going on behind the scenes. I wish there wouldn't be so many missing puzzle pieces but that's just something we have to live with. Do you remember when everyone believed that the connection with Wakana was lost? None of that was true. And I never believed it to be true. I always had faith and I shall continue to have faith.
Yes, let's stay positive!! Hikaru herself just recently said that life balances itself out, good things will follow for sure.
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buckyownsmylife · 1 year ago
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I would: a Tony Stark x Reader x Sam Wilson smut/angst one-shot
The one where Tony knows that you’re Sam’s girl, but that doesn’t stop him from listening in on locker room talk
WC: 1.1K
Warnings: Sam sharing private things about your relationship with his friends and basically disclosing your sexual relationship. You can read it as if you're into it or not, your choice.
A/N: thank you very much to @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog for giving this a read for me 💕 your comments give me life!
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Tony’s P.O.V.
I huffed when I walked into the living room to find him already there, surrounded by the supersoldiers. There really was no escaping Samuel Wilson when I was desperately trying to avoid him, apparently.
“Hey, Tony!” He greeted me with a smile, and so I struggled to grind my teeth and swallow down the anger inside of me, forcing myself to go on with my original intention of spreading my body over one of the very comfortable sofas in the room instead of turning around and returning to my lab.
I could do this. I just had to ignore him.
“I feel like I haven’t had the chance to talk to you in so long!” I cringed, feeling the bitter taste of guilt on my mouth. It was true, my anger was one-sided and solitary. Worse: it was unknown. Wilson had no idea I was irritated every time he was around, and so, he couldn’t really be blamed by his perfectly normal behavior towards a teammate who had always been nothing short of cordial towards him.
“Yeah, you know…” I tried my best to keep my tone neutral, although I avoided his eyes as I took a seat in one of the many couches around us. “Always working on a new gadget.” Wilson and Rogers chuckled and nodded, recognizing the truth in my statement, as it wasn’t new that I’d always spent most of my time down at the lab. But they didn’t seem eager to bring me into their conversation, as immediately after I made myself comfortable, they turned back to what they had been talking when I arrived.
“So” -this was said by Barnes, who was seating on the other side of the new Captain- “you were telling us about last night.” That got my curiosity - I hated not being in the know of something - and my frown most definitely showed it even before I asked, “What happened last night?”
“Sam took his girl on a special date.” Stopping myself from groaning, I simply nodded, for the first time in my life actually praying in the hopes that they’d somehow change subject, although it was obvious I wouldn’t have such luck.
“Hell yes!” Barnes celebrated. “And she found a very special way to thank him…” That was said while his focus remained on the star of the conversation, a clear nudge towards returning  to what was previously being discussed, and I already knew what was coming.
“Jesus fuck.” I couldn’t help myself. Not anymore. “Do the two of you ever stop fucking?” Somehow,  by God’s grace (ironically), the envious tone of my question wasn’t noticed by any of the other men in the room, far too focused on the perspective of hearing yet another tale of Samuel’s sexual adventures with his new girlfriend…
… and the object of my deepest desires.
When I introduced the two of them at one of the Stark enterprises gatherings, I didn’t anticipate their union would make my ordeal even worse than it already was. Sure, I knew she was hot already - that was precisely the problem.
She was way too fucking hot, and she was my assistant. I couldn’t stop thinking about her like that. It was consuming my mind.
Heart beating fast, I considered my options as Samuel prepared to resume his fantastic tales of fuckery. I really should leave. Even if I was friends with the guy, she was my employee, for God’s sake!
No good could come out of this. And still, I didn’t leave.
“She’s such a fucking tease, man!” Sam groaned, but the huge smile on his face made clear how little he was upset with it. “She wakes me up in the middle of the night, just because she wants it so bad.”
The guys groaned, but I remained silent - Sam’s words reverberating across my mind. What must it be like, to have someone desire you this badly? To have her want me so damn much she just can’t wait for me to wake up?
“I bet she feels perfect,” Barnes commented, but the eagerness in his tone was easy to capture. Sam chuckled as he nodded, not at all bothered by the soldier’s interest in his girl, and still, I made sure to keep pretending I wasn’t interested in what he was saying, avoiding his gaze so I wouldn’t be caught.
“Yeah, and she just lets me fuck her whenever,” he informed us, much to my agony. “And she’s always so fucking wet. She comes so fucking hard around my dick, sometimes I swear she’ll snap the entire thing off.”
Squirming on my seat, I briefly wondered if there was any way I could somehow watch them fuck without them knowing about it, but then I snapped myself out of it. What kind of a creep was I becoming?
“I’ve even made her squirt a few times.” Now, that was just evil. A small part of me was starting to consider Samuel did know about my interest in his girl, and he was doing this just as a way to torture me.
“See this picture that she sent me?” Suddenly, a phone was thrusted on my face, a picture of her on her hands and knees staring back at me.
I fell in love.
Hoping he wouldn’t look down and see my cock straining against my pants, I coughed to fake nonchalance, rubbing my sweaty palms against the fabric of said pants.
“Does she…” I hesitated before forcing myself to voice my question, not wanting the guys to question why I was so weirdly quiet. “Does she like it rough?”
My answer was a sound that was half wheeze, half laugh, Samuel nodding excitedly as he rubbed his hand over his chest, pride obviously pouring through every pore of his.
“But she looks so innocent…” This last thought escaped uninvited, eliciting another laugh from the man of the hour, as he shook his head in pity at me.
“I can assure you, she isn’t.” I gulped hard, not wanting to allow the thoughts in my brain to compose themselves fully, but Sam wouldn’t let me get any rest. “She doesn’t let me cum anywhere but in her pussy, says she’s hungry for it, just so you know.”
I should have left long ago. But I was stuck to the sofa now, not knowing how to escape this nightmarish conversation, just as she called him up and he put her on speaker for us all to hear.
“Fuck, daddy, I need you…” The faint sound of her vibrator couldn’t be missed, and while Steve and Bucky tried to reel in their laughter and Sam coached her through an orgasm, I couldn’t help but think that she deserved better.
Fuck, I wanted her to be mine.
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weaselbeaselpants · 2 years ago
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Legit Bad-take/Bad-Faith Helluvaverse critics you should not trust if you see them
Interpersonal squabbles within the critical tag are irrelevant, sorry. This here is a genuine warning against users you should keep your distance from in regards to any VivziePop drama-discourse because their names may come up and you should know what it is that crossed the line.
Starlatte/Starvader/HonestHazbinCritiques/OhGodDude and Woomycritiques/RaySquid - Serial harasser(s). Long story incoming. Starlatte was/is a Vivcritical who got involved in the fandom back in 2019/2020 when she was a minor and didn't tell anyone. Her blog on tumblr was HonestHazbinCritiques where she made some good points but also managed to find/be a part of everyone else's takes in the critical community. Her relationship with several criticalblogs turned sour when she started lashing out, talking over people, being accused of faking her age, and doing stuff like arguing with irl sexworkers abt how they should feel about Angel Dust. Whatever her age actually was at the time, she was also sending her own rewrite scripts and fanwritten episodes to Spindlehorse in order to 'fix' Hazbin. In 2021 Star returned to Tumblr under the name "Oh-God-Dude" w/o disclosing to new people who she was while also starting shit. When said new ppl found out her past and got mad at her, she proceeded to block-backtalk every one of them.
Woomycritiques (twitter handle: Raysquid) is a critical blogger who stans Star and calls everyone else in the critical community an obsessed stalker while lashing out herself. She accused others of racism (unfounded), her friends of predation just for being proship (not the 'cest and underage is good'-kind, the "I like some problematic stuff in fic-context"-kind), and heckled Dirgentlemen over how much they should hate Helluva, and more.
Regardless of if you believe Woomy and Star are the same person, which ppl do, they are both -by now- adult persons who have been asked to stop and DIDN'T, which is why people don't trust them. Star and Woom were asked to tone it down, stop making accusations and even asked by many criticals to leave and stop talking about Helluvaverse as she/they seem to have nothing good to say about it. To put that into perspective, cuz I know some HH/HB fans are gonna be reading this: the people who've self-styled themselves antis and criticals begged this person to leave cuz she had nothing nice to say and was being a nuisance. I know the stans think that's all of us anyway, so let that sink in.
LincarRox aka ToyTaker - Creep. Nasty jealous stalker freak who got kicked out of Helluvaverse servers and Aminos for saying nasty shit like how he "wants to put a baby" in Viv. No really. He took his shit and grievances to BadWebComics wiki under the name TheToyTaker while also seemingly trying to get work at Spindlehorse in order to have access to Viv directly and to 'fix' her show. He did so by faking his animation portfolio. BWW did eventually catch on and kick him out but yeah....bad. May or may not still be going under his old pseudonyms, but regardless if you see someone talking weirdly sexually abt Viv while saying they were "let go" both by SH and BWW, get out now. That's probably him.
Animation Call-Out - Bigoted shitlord. Twitter user who rags on Vivz' controversies w other people but also hates gays and BIPOCs. Admitted to submitting one of the anonymous reviews against Spindlehorse "for fun" amidst legitimate ex-employees. All of the reviews, even the ones that seem the most validating/believable should be taken with a grain of salt I believe especially since they are coming to us anonymously, but when a racist person admits to def being one of those fake reviews for "Lolz" sake, that's def when shit's hit the fan.
DoodleToons - Also bigoted creeperlooser. Altright white kid who hates BIPOC existing in anything and admits to hating Viv's stuff for their LGBTisms and 'demons'. Yes, there legit are bad-faith critics who are homophobic. Just because Viv and her crew have a way of saying that's EVERY critic of her work doesn't mean there aren't shitty people out there.
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iatrophilosophos · 2 months ago
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Unequivocally supporting stated goals is not neccesarily the best way to support autonomy.
Licensed & authoritative healthcare professionals are probably doing best to just do whatever ppl who walk in want them to. The balance of power in these relationships is usually already pretty fucked up and don't include time or personal relationship to investigate someone's stated goals and, IME healthcare practioners ive seen as a patient don't have the cultural or interpersonal competency to do so well, and usually make some wild assumptions about me that make the whole situation harder and worse.
"That's what you said you wanted so that's what I'll do for you" is i think a pretty neutral action because it's rlly just controlling for power in one specific relationship. At the point this is being said in a clinical relationship it's just standing aside to allow access to gatekept materials that in a different world, the patient would likely simply acquire on their own.
But like in general... I don't think handing someone in suicidal crisis a knife is supporting their autonomy neccesarily. An emerging gold standard for suicide-neutral, anticarceral approach to suicide is to essentially say "sure, that's an option that's available at any time, so we don't need to rush into it this moment. Let's figure out what you need to really consider it." This approach recognizes people have the right to kill themselves, but also makes space for various sociological conditions (e.g.: because suicide is so taboo to even discuss, it ends up something that people only utter in situations of acute crisis and misery and don't truly get an opportunity to think through things like end of life care. IMO ppl who have balked hard at having therapists bring up MAiD in response to suicidal ideation are probably experiencing the uncomfortable but intended effect of being asked to work through suicide as a concrete option and not an escape fantasy).
Idk, what's got me on this was seeing a pre-transition girl ask about if she transitioned would it affect her fertility and watching a lot of healthcare professionals give the expected, extremely conservative lines on sperm freezing and Making Serious Decisions Slowly! I don't know this girl or how much fertility is important to her personally or why, but, coming from my own cultural context and knowing the experiences of friends who have had potential fertility used as a cudgel against them, it really doesn't sit right with me that so many people jumped directly and explicitly to the assumption that because she asked, this is a major priority for her that would and should dictate her transition choices, and thus the most helpful and pro-autonomy thing that could be done is supply incredibly conservative lines on the route to 100% ensuring the possibility of future biological children.
I also think its extremely messy, from any ideological standpoint or position, to start from a place of assuming that someone's stated intentions are not reflective of their "real" "internal" "feelings". Parenting/childcare ethics nerds talk all the time about how trying to save someone who's living in a fully different context from something you experienced in the past is a bad move--basically that trying to be the person that you could've needed as a child is a distraction from being the person that the child in front of you needs now. I think this concept is limited, in that wider critical thought about the state of the world is generally important in navigating things and our own personal experiences and cultural awareness are a huge part of how we build that critical thought; but that it also makes sense to apply more broadly to how we treat people in general, i.e. speaking to the people in front of us and not our past selves or the past selves of our loved ones (or at minimum disclosing when we are doing so).
I don't have a grand conclusion or a good answer to this problem. Curious if anyone else wants to take a stab at it. I think somewhat the answer is that it's rlly just about, idk, wisdom or something, testing out our awareness of the world as a lens that might aid us to be present with the people in front of us instead of the other way around (applying signs and signifiers to every Harry dick and Sally we might meet & end up trying to help). I think especially wrt healthcare ethics and best practices my writing has recently taken a bent of just trying to describe a situation and potentially relevant information or lines of philosophy because I don't know that it's rlly helpful to anyone to try to enumerate my specific playbook(to the extent I have one for any given question) cuz again, confounding context...
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damn-stark · 1 year ago
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Chapter 20 Intergalactic
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Chapter 20 of Sugar
A/N- I know Uraume’s gender is not disclosed but they’re still mother, so, mother vs mother off this chapter
Warning- Swearing, ANGST!, fluff?, Violence, death, blood and gore, spoilers, SLOW BURN, heavy pining, Kenjaku being weird, long chapter, and we start switching to the manga now too!!
Pairing- Choso x Gojo!fem-reader, Suguru Geto x Gojo!fem-reader
Takes place during- 2x22-2x23, and chapter 138 from the manga
(Let me know if you want to be tagged)
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Breathe. Breathe…
Think with both the heart and mind, even if you’re pissed over Noritoshi Kamo possessing Suguru’s body, even if you’re in agony and mad at yourself for not being able to save Nanako and Mimiko. And even if you’re directing all that boiling anger to the man making a living hell you have to be rational just like you’ve been taught.
Yet when you step into the crater left behind by the chaos that transcended today, all you feel is raging anger at the sight of Noritoshi Kamo. Even if he’s in Suguru’s body and you love him, after what happened earlier, after he took Satoru, all you feel is hatred for this man.
It actually reminds you of a quote you like by Edgar Allen Poe, “years of love have been forgot, in the hatred of minute”, because all you want to do is kill him.
“You really are a relentless one, aren't you? It must run in the family,” Noritoshi announces your entrance and makes everyone's eyes that were trained on him fall on you, a ghost, the woman who is supposed to be dead.
“Smile,” he quips at you with a growing malicious smirk, “aren't you happy to see me?”
You stop striding and narrow your gaze to a burning glare. “No,” you grimace and curl your hand into a fist. “But when we cross paths in hell maybe then I will.”
Noritoshi snickers. “You’re going to have to wait a long time before I show up.”
You smirk and tap into your fire-cursed technique, causing the dragon mark on your arm to glow and making the veins under your skin glow as flames lick your flesh, craving to release.
“I don't mind waiting,” you counter.
“Y/N?!”
You drift your eyes to where your name is being called and see Itadori on his knee, covered in blood, and with half of his jacket torn. He looks baffled upon seeing you on your two feet and breathing—Which you’re surprised you are too, but regardless, past the blood and the determination painted over his face, you see relief and exhaustion. So you break the scowl on your face and offer him a small smirk.
Itadori offers you a small nod in return, and you proceed to look past him, catching Panda in his gorilla form, and another teenager you don't recognize. Past them, you see Kusakabe, Utahime, and two other students with them. All of whom look just as baffled to see you.
So it makes you wonder who all thinks you're dead; Nanami?
Where is he by the way you wonder since you don't see him here, and knowing him he'd be on the frontlines trying to protect who he can.
Unless he's hurt.
Is he hurt?
If he is, Shoko’s got him.
“Hey, Choso,” Noritoshi cuts you from your stupor, making you look to your side to see that Choso finally caught up.
When you made it past the veil and saw all the destruction, and the giant crater on the ground that looked almost apocalyptic, you went a bit overzealous and ran faster than you should have, leaving Choso behind.
“Looks like you’ve realized it,” Noritoshi adds nonchalantly, whereas Choso is panting and enraged.
So much so that you hear him grind his teeth from where you stand before he bellows, “so that's how it is! Noritoshi Kamo!”
Said man doesn't give any reaction, he doesn't flinch to start an attack, he's overly calm and collected.
“It's not above you to ally yourself with the stray, huh, Y/N?” Noritoshi directs at you as he drifts his eyes over to you.
You clench your jaw at the sound of your name coming out of his lips and snap back. “Don't talk to me like you know me, Kamo.”
Noritoshi huffs. “Noritoshi Kamo is merely one of the many names I’ve had,” he retorts. “Call me whatever you like.”
“How dare you,” Choso growls. “How dare you make me try to kill Itadori?! My little brother!
You watch him walk ahead without giving any thought to what he wants to do, which is dangerous regardless of how strong he might be, or how vengeful he might feel at the moment, so you try to interject, “Choso, wait.”
You go after him, but when you reach his side you both stop when a small figure with white hair, dressed in monk’s garments, menacingly slides in front of Noritoshi out of the blue.
They then quickly stand up straight and immediately imbue their hand with cursed energy.
“Stand down, third-rate,” they grimace. “Don’t keep me waiting any longer.”
You furrow your eyebrows in confusion to what they just said whilst you make your flames begin to lick the surface of your palm.
“Move it!” Choso exclaims angrily with a swing of his hand. “I’m his older brother!”
“Feeling scared there Noritoshi?” You tease the man in your husband's body. “You need a little nun to come fight for you?”
He scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Scared of what? You? I know all your moves, this body turned you into the sorcerer you are.”
You fist your hand and laugh. “Half true, sure, but you forget who really turned me into the sorcerer I am. She deserves the credit, she taught me a lot more than he could, but you can underestimate me if you want.” You sigh and rest your hand on your hip as you slide your eyes to the person with white hair and a red stain on their short bob.
“You,” you point your chin at them and shoot them a sweet smile. “Why don’t you come here and I’ll give you some sugar, honey,” you speak in a silky voice and raise your other hand to blow them a kiss.
“Huh? How dare you speak to me like half-wit,” they snarl.
You smirk and feel Choso’s eyes on you so you return his gaze, but then proceed to spare Itadori a glance, seeing him look baffled by who you're standing by and by what’s unfolding. Yet there’s no time to explain, just to demonstrate, so you look back at Choso and share a short determined look that makes him step forward and raise blood off the ground to spin it elegantly around him as he summons it all to his hands.
When the blood is in between his palms, you see steam rise out of the gaps between his hands before he suddenly shoots it in the blink of an eye, managing to impale it through the hands of the person beside Noritoshi.
All while the man himself jumps out of the way, making you walk past Choso’s back to face Noritoshi with flames slowly imbuing your hand.
Noritoshi sees you and prepares to counter, but you discreetly use your feet on the ground instead and kick over spikes that move underground. And when they’re behind him they pop out and shoot at him from behind, however, he dodges your attack just like you thought he would and slides away, right into the spot Choso carves out with his blood.
Which is fucking impressive. The magnitude and power of his blood are truly astonishing, and the fact that he uses it to shoot the earth beneath Noritoshi hundreds of feet into the air using just his blood is amazing. You can’t help but watch him with slight awe as he quickly chases after Noritoshi all the way to the top.
Albeit since he does leave, you’re left behind with the monk.
“It’s just you and me now,” you direct at them and slide one foot back to position yourself in a fighting stance.
“Let’s make this quick,” they quip and lift their head to blow out a mist into the sky.
You blink in confusion and lift your gaze. And just as you look up you smirk as you catch sharp icicles raining down.
Thus before they can hit you, you throw your hands up to shoot fire out and burn through the hard ice, making sparks fly out like fireworks at first contact before those icicles turn to water you pull down to form into an orb in between your palms.
“So it is true you are a pest,” they grimace and harden their scowl.
You hum in agreement and then break into a sprint towards them.
They don’t falter and mirror your actions.
Just as you’re going to meet halfway, you summon a gust of air to mix with the water and shape it into sharp needles before you blast it at their stomach, considering air and water don’t mix well and normally hurt when they’re both together and angry.
Yet they of course counter you perfectly and freeze the water before shaping it into a blade in their palm. And since you’re close to clashing against them you slide forward on your feet.
They quickly swing down when you’re close, but you meet their attack with your hands basked by flames, causing the ice to halt in your hands as it begins to melt instead of hurting you.
However, they are strong, and the ice they can make is a perfect counter to all four of your elements. Besides, it seems that they might be older than they look, so they’re wiser and stronger than meets the eye. Defeating them won’t be easy, even if you see their wounded hand falter and twitch.
“You know what, I like you,” you let them know. “You’re the first person I know with a technique similar to mine. It’s too bad we’re on opposing sides.”
They push you down harder, making your legs bend, but you continue trying to push their ice blade up.
“Do you usually talk so much?” They spat at you.
“Depends,” you say, and tilt your head while you pull back your fire-wrapped fist, making them ready to counter.
However, instead, you make a thin pillar of the ground blast out from beneath them and smash it over their torso, causing them to be thrown up a few feet in the sky.
Before they can counter you hastily gather the air around them, and then proceed to run a few paces ahead before you hop and flip in the air to whip the wind around their neck with a swing of your leg, and smash them on the ground.
When you swiftly land on your feet you move pieces of the earth around them to trap their body underground, and then use the air to boost yourself up the large pillar Choso impressively rose.
Once you make it above the surface you see Noritoshi has Choso’s arm twisted over his back, so without thinking you scowl at the sight, looking like a menacing shadow no one can see but you feel behind them. So before either man can see you when they look back, you blast towards Noritoshi and grab a fistful of his hair and the back of his neck.
He reacts with a groan and lets Choso go.
“My brother,” you sneer by his ear. “Give him back.”
Noritoshi snickers and twists one hand back. “I’ll have that curse back, thank you,” he interjects and suddenly you feel the weight around your shoulders lift off as the Worm-cursed spirit begins to float to Noritoshi’s hand.
However, he should’ve known better, Suguru said he did this too and just like then, the moment the Worm touches Noritoshi’s fingers, it ends up burning him and it bounces back to you.
“It doesn’t work like that,” you spat spitefully since he just tried to steal your Worm-cursed spirit.
“Tsk.”
You smirk smugly, and Choso sees that the Worm mimics your gesture as if you were one. You then snap your eyes towards Choso, and so does the Worm, but Choso only holds your fire-kissed eyes; which are filled with words not spoken, but speechless words he understood seconds before you shove your knee through Noritoshi’s back and slam him towards Choso.
And since he had read what you wanted to do, he throws Noritoshi a right hook and makes the man stumble.
You quickly try to overwhelm him, but Noritoshi snaps his head towards you and sends out multiple eel-like curses at you using a portal made in front of his feet, causing you to leave Choso alone to avoid the attack.
Which you only manage to avoid because you think fast and use slices of the earth to shuffle away.
The moment you’re at a safer distance, you pull down the moistness around you that's naked to the human eye and form the water into spears that you shoot through the open mouths of the curses.
When the water is inside you quickly begin to drown them from the inside before you make the water explode out of their flesh and exorcize them.
Yet now that you can focus on Noritoshi and Choso again, you see Choso throw punch after punch, but Noritoshi keeps dodging each swing with quite ease. He doesn’t let up one bit, and just as you try to help Choso, Noritoshi kicks his torso harshly, making you gasp as you hear the impact against his body.
“Don’t push yourself too hard,” Noritoshi tells Choso as he begins to fall down the pillar. “You’re exhausted, aren't you?”
“So what?” Choso spats, and you both jump after Noritoshi at the same time.
“Is that any reason not to risk my life for the younger brother right in front of me?” Choso adds loudly so his voice can be carried through the howling wind, making Noritoshi chuckle, while you smirk softly in admiration.
That is until Noritoshi snaps his attention to you. “I see you want to play Gojo.” He snickers. “I’ll play along. Remind me you like it rough don’t you?”
You scrunch your nose in disgust and spat back. “Don’t be a perv and poke around through his memories.”
“I say only what I see,” he counters and his response triggers you.
Who does he think is? Going through and seeing Suguru’s personal memories, talking to you like he knows you on a personal level as if he and Suguru are one now because he stole Suguru’s body.
Well he’s wrong, he’s not Suguru. He can never be him, and the way he talks to you is wrong.
He’s not him…
It’s why you tear three large pieces of the earth off the large pillar and hurl them at him out of rage.
Of course, Noritoshi misses the first two, but you manage to slam the third one at him and keep pushing him down. Before he can hit the ground, you tilt face down and boost yourself forward. When you reach the piece of debris you swing your fist and smash through the hard rock, breaking it into pieces and facing Noritoshi with your jaw clenched, your nose flared, and your lips curled to a furious scowl. He prepares to attack, but you beat him by a second and manage to grab his throat and slam him down on the ground, creating a small crater where he lands.
Right before he can counter you use water trapped underground and make it travel up. However, he hears the movement of the water rising, and just as the water violently blasts out of the ground he snaps his head to the side, missing being hit on the back of his head by mere seconds.
However, you’re relentless and rise up another blast of water, and he barely misses again.
“You’re starting to piss me off,” he grimaces and slaps his hand on your torso. “I didn’t want to kill you yet, but maybe then—“
Knowing what he can do with his technique from a close proximity like this, you don’t finish hearing what he has to say and quickly use the water you were just using to push away from him
When you’re close to Choso, you land on the ground and slide back.
Choso peers at you and you look at him, and from the corner of your eye, you see Noritoshi move, so you look back to where you left him, but he’s gone.
“What the,” you gasp and turn your head, and barely catch him above Choso with his fist raised.
“Choso!” You warn him and regardlessly blast him away using the air.
Noritoshi slams his fist on the ground but doesn’t get discouraged by his failure, instead, he follows by snapping his head towards you with a smirk.
You stand your ground and reach back to pull out a blade from the Worm’s mouth. Noritoshi gets close so you quickly bask your blade with fire and swing the moment Noritoshi swings, but he swerves you. Choso sneaks up behind him, and you see him try to reach over, but Noritoshi swerves and has Choso stumble towards you.
Before he can crash into you he balances back on his feet and you meet his intense gaze fueled with rage to share your thoughts with your gaze alone, hoping he understands even if you fear that he won’t.
Nevertheless, when you consume the flames on your blade to instead crack the ground with fire and aim it at Noritoshi with ease, Choso surprises you and lunges while Noritoshi is distracted, just like you wanted, and manages to hit his father with a sharp uppercut.
“Yes,” you whisper with pride and put the blade away to move your hand and counter with another attack using the elements.
However, before you can do a thing, suddenly hard and bitter ice grows around you and captures your entire body in place, leaving you only able to move your eyes, and see your failure to stop this sorcerer with the ice technique.
They captured everyone with their ice, Itadori, the students, Utahime, Kusakabe, and Choso.
Sure you can easily melt this way, but you still should’ve stopped them before. Damn.
Damn. Damn!
You exhale deeply and hear Choso complain near you too. “Tsk.”
“Don’t kill them,” Noritoshi tells his ally. “I need messengers.”
You slightly squint out of curiosity while you begin to use your fire through your arms to melt the ice into water.
“Is that any reason to leave them all alive?” The monk argues and lifts their wounded hand to show how they heal it.
“This ice isn’t enough!” Choso cuts in and puts his hand over the icy surface. “Flowing Red scale!”
Once again he surprises you by using his blood to melt the ice. Which, you never knew blood manipulators could do anything at the scale he does things. It’s so fascinating!
But regardless, as the ice around you now turns to a puddle because of your fire's intensity, the monk approaches you and points one ice-covered finger at you, and then another at Choso.
“Then how much is?” They threaten him and then look at you. “Let’s test it out on the both of you. Tell me when.”
The ice over their finger extends, but you grow flames out of the ground around Choso and you, to help him out of the ice and block their attempts.
Nevertheless, just as you get ready to blast them with fire, simultaneously, Itadori then runs through the fire at a speed you see almost as a flash, and kicks Choso out of the ice, leaving you baffled.
“Whose body do you think that is?!” The monk spats back, letting you fall back to where Itadori and Choso are to face the monk at a distance as you think of a clever way to immobilize them. Or kill them.
“You’re our ally, right?” Itadori asks Choso.
“No!” Choso shouts, making you twist your neck to side-eye him.
“Huh?” Itadori exclaims.
“I'm your older brother,” Choso reveals.
Itadori’s eyes narrow and his eyebrows furrow as he snaps back. “Could you please take this seriously?!”
You sigh in annoyance.
“Why don’t you try saying it once, for starters,” Choso rebuttals. “Call me, big brother.”
“Why don’t you both take this seriously,” you scold them as you keep your eyes on Noritoshi.
“I was just telling him the truth,” Choso argues.
“Are you working with him, Geto?” Itadori asks you now.
You nod. “He is your ally. I trust him,” you vouch for Choso without hesitation. “Talk later. Oh, and by the way do you know where Nanami is? It’s unlike him to miss this,” you change the subject and glance over at Itadori.
The shirtless boy meets your gaze and the annoyed scowl falls to a frown.
“What?” You press. “He doesn’t answer his phone.”
Itadori mutters your first name quietly, but that’s all he gets to do because you hear someone flying overhead. And when you look up you see some blond girl on a wooden broom, as if she’s some cartoon witch.
“Tool manipulation,” you hear her chant as she lands on the ground. “Wind Scythe!”
She blasts wind toward Noritoshi and the monk, but they quickly dismiss it. Which is predictable. They’re too strong, which means you need to fight with a lot more fiery.
You need to bring them out…
“Itadori!” The girl yells and catches your attention. “We’re the only ones who can move right now! We need to buy time for Utahime to finish her preparations!”
Preparations? What does that intake?
Whatever, you’ll help regardless.
“Supreme art,” you mutter under your breath and loosen your fists. “Hell—”
You cut yourself off as you see the monk bend down to press their palm on the ground, meaning only one thing; they’re going to use their ice. So you drop what you’re going to say and quickly bend down to mimic their actions, but instead, summon flames out of your palms whereas they bring out ice.
“Yuji Itadori, is the only messenger you need, right?!” They yell as a dangerous layer of ice begins to form out like a sheet at first before big icicles grow out and rapidly rush towards you.
You quickly counter by sending a hot wave of fire out to clash against their ice, causing the fire and the ice to sizzle and blast out thick steam.
Yet that doesn’t seem to be hot enough, the ice continues approaching at a slower pace now, but it comes, so you need to think bigger, and attack the source before they turn you into cute popsicles.
“Hm,” you hum and smirk down at the ground as your fire is suddenly being seeped by the ground, leaving Itadori confused.
“Y/n?!” He calls out as the ice intensifies.
You swing The Worm off your shoulders and place him on the ground to sway your hips as you slowly walk forward, and creep on a menacing smirk on your face as you look at the white-haired monk.
“I’m a special grade Yuji Itadori,” you respond and peer over your shoulder, letting him, the small blond student, and Choso see your red-orange colored eyes give off a spark as if the fire was alive in your eyes.
Itadori looks at you confused, just like the other student does, but Choso’s lips pull to a smirk and his eyes widen with awe you miss when you look ahead again.
“I’m fighting fire with fire,” you mumble and slowly put your hands out as you continue striding forward at a slow pace.
When your arms are spread out, a deafening silence settles for a second before suddenly the ground erupts as fire blasts out of the ground like an enormous geyser, burning away all the ice that spread on the ground, and the ice that was falling from the sky.
The fire captures you in the progress, but it only burns away the tight black uniform on your body, leaving light white linen wrapped around your breasts that travels over your shoulders to connect with the linen around your hips, and elegantly flows down over your lower body, leaving long slits over the front of both legs.
Which is practically inconvenient in any battle scenario, but you find this option helpful, you discovered that in your time with Yuki. This way you can move a lot more swiftly like water, and without restriction. The fire can move through your body with a lot more vigor, and lastly, you can feel the wind over your skin.
Like now.
You raise your arms that are spread out as you begin to gather up a large amount of wind behind you that howls like if caught in a loud raging storm, that collects dirt and thickens the gusts. When you have enough, you smirk at the enemy across from you, making Noritoshi slowly frown, and infuriating the monk even more. And without warning, you snap your arms forward and blast the wind out towards them to enrage the flames you rose and mix it together to shoot it over at them too.
You continue to stride forward, and slowly close your arms together as you keep collecting more wind that Itadori, the student, and Choso have to shield against and fight to stay grounded as it flies past them to unfurl over your skin as it flies past you and hits Noritoshi and the monk.
The only reason why neither of them get thrown back by the force of the wind is because of the monk's ice shield, but your fire begins to penetrate through, so you tap into your fire and blast it out of your hands before you once again seep it through the ground, and have it erupt out of the ground around Noritoshi and the monk.
However, when they feel a blast building up beneath their feet, Noritoshi uses a curse to get out of the way, leaving the monk to shield themselves with ice all alone and leaving them open to you.
Which is why you drop the air and the fire and run forward to close the gap left between the monk and you by smashing through the ice and grabbing them by the throat. You then proceed to slam them against the ground and skid them forward until they manage to grow curved icicles around their fingertips and swing them at you, making you push yourself off them and slide back on the ground.
When you face them again you collect wind over your palm and summon fire out. You get ready to swing it at them, but then out of nowhere, you’re suddenly falling through a large gap in the ground that just appears out of the blue, leaving you enclosed by the darkness that only grows darker the further you get, and making you scream out of fear.
However, you then blink and suddenly you're hundreds of feet above around.
“What the hell?” You hiss in confusion and look at your surroundings as you’re falling back to the surface that isn’t broken anymore. It’s all intact.
So was that some effect of a curse?
It has to be. To catch you off guard…
“Ice formation: Ice fall!” You suddenly hear before you see ice grow over the surface again, and form into tall and thick shards.
“No!” You bellow and tilt your body as you’re falling down to try and blast fire down to melt the ice.
Yet the monk notices you and throws something out at you that you don’t see move through the air until suddenly you feel something sharp and burning cold rip through your arm.
You cry out in pain and reach over to hold your wound, but you see that your arm is ripped off.
“Y/N!” You hear Choso cry out.
“Fuck,” you groan and begin to pant as it burns. “Fuck.”
But the pain nor the bleeding stump matter. It hurts like hell but it doesn’t matter, you’re still falling. You’re still fucking falling and getting close to the damn ground.
You prepare for impact and protect yourself from getting more injured.
However, before you can hit the ground, strong arms catch you, and the moment their feet touch the ground they slide back on their feet with you to move closer to the glistening ice you see from the corner of your eyes.
Before you can look up to see your savior they carefully set you down on your knees in front of them.
Is it Choso?
It doesn’t smell like him…
They actually smell like—it can’t be.
You snap your eyes up and immediately smile when you see Yuki.
“Master,” you mumble with relief.
Her brown eyes fall on you and she shoots you a wink before looking ahead again to address the person a few feet away from where you are.
“Long time no see, Geto,” she interjects. “Could I get your answer to my question from back then?” She asks and puts her leg back as she leans forward with a smug smile.
“What kind of woman is your type?” She asks and blows Noritoshi a kiss with her finger.
“It’s not him,” you whisper.
“Gathered,” she says back in a whisper. “Now heal your arm.”
You hum and roll your shoulder back to start regrowing your arm with RCT.
Which, you should thank your jealousy for. Without you trying to impress your parents and get a sliver of their attention, you wouldn't have learned to use it and you’d be dead right now. So thank your jealousy! Thank you!
If only it didn’t take so much out of you though. You won’t be able to fight properly for some time now thanks to you needing to heal.
You have weapons, but your energy isn't any good either, you’re running on fumes right now—but even still you need to try and help.
There’s people trapped in the ice, students, and Choso. You need to help them…
“Do you remember,” Yuki interjects. “The ways to rid cursed spirits from our world?”
As she talks to Noritoshi and your arm heals you begin to drag yourself back towards the ice wall.
“Regardless of which method is pursued,” she continues. “It means advancing humanity to the next stage. Humanity’s next stage is freeing itself from cursed energy.”
Why can’t you have Satoru’s healing speed? He heals so fast whilst you take longer to heal, it’s so annoying! Especially in times like now! Damn…
But you’re almost done, and then you can help the others out of the ice.
“No,” Noritoshi argues. “It’s optimizing cursed energy.”
You stop moving and look over at Noritoshi with slight confusion. Yuki looks back, but since she’s peering over at Itadori you don’t see her reaction, you do however see her shrug, so you know she’s not necessarily completely serious.
So that means she’s got a plan.
“Uh,” you hear Itadori comment. “I don’t get it, either.”
“I thought you already gave on your plan twelve years ago when Toji Zen’in died,” Noritoshi adds, whilst you close that gap between the ice and you and finally finish healing your damn arm, which…yay, you have your arm, but…BUT!!
Your cute manicure didn’t fucking regrow! That’s money down the drain—well, not your money, Satoru paid for you to get your nails done, but still! Now you look lopsided with one hand well done and the other just simple looking. Tsk.
“I was talking to Geto, you know,” Yuki finally reveals to him that she knows he’s not Suguru. “Well, whatever. I went back to my original idea. Besides, there’s a big hole in your optimization plan. Extremely few sorcerers and cursed spirits emerge in other countries compared to Japan. So Tengen’s barriers should be indispensable to your optimization plan.”
You glance over at Noritoshi and see him slightly narrow his eyes on Yuki as he hears her out.
“Using Tengen to optimize cursed energy would mean only the humans of this nation would become sorcerers. Japan would practically have a monopoly on cursed energy. Other nations, especially that superpower, wouldn’t stand by and allow that. Flesh-and-blood humans would become an energy source. It’s easy enough to imagine what misfortune that would bring.”
Destruction, chaos, blood, and death…right?
Getting rid of non-sorcerers would be…well…
What would it mean to you?
Great…it’d be great…
Yet at the cost of what he wants? No.
“That’s a world far removed from the ideals I pursue,” Yuki finishes making herself clear, while you place your hand on the ice and use a little bit of cursed energy to summon flames to your palm and spread the fire out, like flames following a fuel line, and carefully melt the ice around the blond student with the long and stiff ponytails.
“So what?” Noritoshi rebuttals. “For one thing, our objectives are different. I don’t desire a world without cursed spirits or any sort of idyllic peace. Non-sorcerers, sorcerers, cursed spirits…those are all possibilities for the shape of cursed energy that is mankind.”
Hm…
You glance at Noritoshi and slowly narrow your gaze as he catches your attention.
“Though,” you hear him add a bit quieter. “That shouldn’t be anywhere near the full extent. I tried to give rise to other possibilities for mankind on my own…but that didn’t work out,” he shares and you get what he means…Choso.
So that’s why he left him and his brothers? Because they were his failures?
He made them just to leave them, all because he didn’t like how they turned out. All their suffering, all their loneliness means nothing to him. He’s no parent, he’s a selfish monster.
“Everything that I created myself,” he continues as cursed energy begins to rise out of his palm and flow up at an incredible amount, “was limited by the bounds of my own potential. The answer was always glimmering darkly within chaos. Do you understand?”
Hardly…but he won’t stop talking will he?
Whatever, it gives you time.
Now that you freed the student you make sure she’s fine.
She catches your gaze and offers you a thankful nod, causing you to offer her a sweet smile before you gently push yourself up, ignoring the ache on your arm, and walking over to Choso since he’s the only one you can reach. The others will have to wait.
“What I should have created was chaos that went beyond my own control,” Noritoshi says. “I’ve already finished extracting the technique.”
You come to stop by Choso and look at Noritoshi with surprise.
“There was a cursed spirit called Mahito, right?!” Yuki asks over her shoulder. “The one with the technique that let it interfere with souls?!”
“That guy absorbed it earlier,” Itadori informs her.
“Seriously?!” She exclaims and then snaps her eyes to you. “And where were you?”
You point at your chest with slight shock and quickly respond. “Me? I was getting my throat stabbed and my neck snapped,” you snap back annoyed. “Oh, and I was getting tortured by curses from my past. If you had answered your phone you would have known! Did you even see it?”
Yuki shrugs as if it’s not a big deal. “I got your message and I’m here now aren’t I?”
You slap your hand on the ice trapping Choso, and scowl at Yuki as you melt the ice. “Great,” you answer sarcastically.
“I’ll say. You know what this all reminds me of?”
“Egypt,” you both answer at the same time and share a smile.
Yuki winks at you and nods in agreement before turning away, letting you face Choso, and see that he’s studying you in your light and exposing gown. Which makes your face burn, and makes you feel a soft fluttering in your stomach.
“Your arm,” he immediately points out but glances at the scar across your torso before he finally looks at your arm. He wasn’t looking at your arm before. “It’s healed.”
You glance down at your arm regardless and move your fingers. “Yeah,” you let him know the obvious. “I’m all good. I can’t say I’m in any state to fight anymore though, so, if anything happens will you have my back?”
Choso slowly drags his eyes up, and you mirror his gesture and finally lock eyes when he lands on your face.
“Of course,” he doesn’t hesitate to immediately assure you, making you smile at him and feel relief.
“You,” he interjects and digs in his pocket to pull something out. “Will be needing him back either way.”
Choso opens his palm and when you look down you see The Worm unfurling himself now that he senses you.
“Oh!” You exclaim gleefully. “You kept him safe! I was wondering where he had crawled off to. Thank you!”
“Mommy!” The worm yells out in a broken voice.
You grin at it and take it from Choso to wrap it around you, making it snuggle tightly around you.
And now that you have that resolved, and helped Choso out, you shift your feet to turn.
Yet before you can look over, a large glowing purple symbol rises in the sky and castes over your heads, stealing your attention and completely casting away the fluttering in your stomach to drop an eerie feeling in the pit of your stomach.
“You have my thanks, Yuji Itadori,” Noritoshi interjects. “A cursed spirit’s mastery of their technique ceases to progress from the moment they’re absorbed by the Cursed Spirit Manipulation. Mahito truly matured through his fight with you. To be honest, I wanted to have Jogo, as well, but no matter.”
“What did you do?” You snap at Noritoshi and drop your gaze to glare at him.
“I remote activated Idle Transfiguration on two types of non-sorcerers that I marked ahead of time,” he answers without any hesitation, which should worry you.
Who goes around spilling their master plan?
“One type was people whom I had absorb cursed objects like Yuji Itadori did,” he continues to say. “And the other was people like Junpei Yashino who have cursed techniques, but whose brains were structured like non-sorcerers. Now I’ve adjusted their brains to match those of sorcerers. For the former, I gave them the strength to be vessels, and the latter have obtained the ability to activate their techniques.”
Why? What for?
“And now…” he trails off and pulls on a seal. “…I’ve released the seal on those cursed objects. Some of them have been in deep sleep after being exposed to my cursed energy when I marked them, but they’ll soon awaken. So, starting now, I’ll have them kill each other in order to deepen their understanding of cursed energy.”
What the hell! What’s wrong with him?
“I’ve carefully hand-picked these people and cursed objects,” he keeps on going, which you’re grateful for. Otherwise, you’d be left confused. “Think of it as unleashing a thousand malevolent Yuji Itadori’s.”
“A thousand?” You ask in disbelief.
“That’s conservative,” Yuki continues. “You’re also underestimating human rationality. Do you think people will start killing each other just because they were granted power?”
“There’s an order to everything,” he says, “I certainly didn’t cut corners like that when making my preparations. Your questions are starting to become shallow.”
You scoff, and Yuki looks back and points at Noritoshi.
“He’s pissing me off, so let’s all beat him up together!”
You have little energy, but you can pull off something big; maybe your domain expansion, or your supreme art.
“I can’t move right now, though,” Itadori says and as soon as he does the ice suddenly turns to water and begins to fall like rain.
However, you manipulate the water and collect it over your head to swiftly and elegantly move it around Choso and you keep it on standby, whilst you watch the person who had created this fall to their knees.
“What’s the matter, Uraume?” You manage to hear Noritoshi ask.
“Poison?!” They struggle to say.
“My blood got mixed with yours through Piercing Blood,” Choso’s voice startles you. “Of course it is,” he spats.
You steal a glance at him and the corner of your lips lifts to a smirk before you look back at the person Noritoshi called Uraume, with a prideful smirk.
“Wait,” the blond student cuts in. “We’re not getting cover from Mai. They might still have more allies over there.”
“My ally is protecting Aoi, the girl with the gun, and that suit. They don’t belong here.” Yuki lets the student know.
“Wait,” you probe with concern at what you heard just now. “Aoi? What happened to Aoi?” You step forward. “Is he okay?”
Itadori looks back at you and answers for Yuki. “He will be. He got hurt, but he’ll live.”
You blink in confusion.
Ever since you’ve known Todo, he’s hardly someone who’s ever needed much help, he accepts it, and he can be a good team player with people he likes, but he’s not one who's ever needed help. He’s strong. He’s smart too, and for him to need help means he’s badly hurt.
You should have gotten here before, damn it!
“We were in the middle of our talk,” Noritoshi interrupts and actually sounds annoyed that he can’t keep yapping his evil monologue. “The cursed objects that I distributed are what’s left of the sorcerers I’ve been secretly making pacts with for a thousand years. Of course, I forged my pacts with more than just sorcerers, though my pacts with those were annulled when I obtained this body.”
“You don’t mean—”
“This is the world of the future,” Noritoshi cuts Yuki off and begins to look pleased, but in such a menacing way.
And only seconds later you know why. He opens a large portal and has dozens of curses come out of it, making Choso step forward and put his arms out to block Itadori and you.
The dark portal spreads and you reach back to take out a blade, while you also drag the same water you had kept floating around, and hover it over your palm.
Choso gets closer regardless of what you’re doing, to do more than what you asked of him earlier, and continues to secure you, and Itadori behind him.
“See you later, Yuji Itadori,” Noritoshi interjects smugly as he shows off the box Satoru is trapped in.
“Gojo!” Itadori yells and breaks away from Choso to lunge forward and desperately reach for something that can’t be retrieved anymore.
“I have high expectations for you,” Noritoshi adds as he begins to disappear through the shadows of his portals—of Suguru’s cursed technique.
That’s Suguru’s technique he’s using. That’s his body, his face. That’s his face and body that you see leaving in ways he’d never leave you.
“Suguru Geto!” You cry out desperately in hopes you can reach a fragment of his soul so he can fight back, so he can at least help enough to clear a path, and so he can come back.
Noritoshi freezes and slowly begins to peer back. You don’t move and stay behind Choso to grab onto his arm still guarding you from danger, and just start hoping, even if you make no attempt to go forward you start hoping.
“Suguru Geto is dead,” Noritoshi announces what you knew, but hoped was somehow not true. “It’s just me now.”
Tears fill your eyes, but instead of feeling sad over what you heard, you feel a burning rage that makes you want to use what energy you have and fight against him.
Yet before you can even attempt to act on that fury directed at the wicked man using Suguru’s body, Noritoshi disappears within the shadows, leaving the curses to spread out to the darkened city like wildfire.
——
*LATER*
“Kento please answer your phone, Shoko says that the last time Fushiguro saw you, you were okay, but if you’re in trouble call me, text me, or yell, I don’t know, just let me know you’re fine or I will go out and search for you myself,” you leave what feels like the hundredth voicemail because just like every other time he doesn’t answer his damn phone.
Maybe his phone is dead?
“Sorry,” you direct at Choso as you finally put your phone away. “I hope my incessant phone calling hasn’t annoyed you. I’m done now.”
Choso shakes his head stiffly. “It’s fine. It doesn’t bother me.”
You hum in comprehension and slide your eyes over to him with a worried look. “Are you doing okay? I haven’t asked.”
Choso’s eyes dart to you but when he meets your gaze he looks away as he shakes his head. “Don’t worry about me.”
You roll your eyes. “You’re my friend,” you counter. “I’ll worry if I want to. So answer me, and don’t give me that nonchalant crap. No one is here, it’s just us you can tell me.”
Choso slowly slides his eyes back to you and lets the silence linger as he holds your gaze for a moment before he answers. “I’m fine. I’ve been healing, but they’re all minor injuries I got from fighting Itadori and you. Which, you lied, by the way, you held back, your fight with Uraume proved it.”
You scoff softly and let a smirk tug on your lips. “Yeah well, I told you I didn’t want to kill you. My fight wasn’t with you, but you were in Satoru’s way, so I had to help him,” you tell him as you mindlessly start fiddling with your fingernails. “And by the way, I still didn’t even show off my full potential with the monk. There were too many people in the way to do that.”
“Well,” he says. “Perhaps I’ll see what you promised soon enough.”
Your face burns and you can’t help but share a faint and bashful smile. “Well now that we’re not on opposite sides, I’ll be happy to show off.”
Choso hums in comprehension and keeps his eyes on you as you look at your path ahead to look out for Itadori whom you lost in the chaos Noritoshi left to escape.
“Are you okay? Are your wounds healing? You should've gone to your doctor friend,” he interjects almost in a scolding voice, as if your stubbornness to see Shoko annoyed him.
“I'm fine,” you assure him with a faint laugh. “I used RCT, I’m healing, all I need now is a good meal and a good night's rest.”
Choso hums and doesn’t seem convinced, but he leaves it, letting you turn to grab his arm, and causing his eyes to snap down to your touch before he meets your gaze.
“Thank you for earlier,” you tell him softly and slowly come to a stop together. “You put your own life at risk to look out for me when you could’ve gone after your brother. You stayed behind for me. Thank you Choso.”
Said man draws in a deep breath and steals a quick glance down at your hand still around his arm before responding softly. “I’m in your debt, this was a simple repayment of that.”
You furrow your eyebrows in confusion and part your lips to press on that. “What do you mean? I haven’t done anything. You’ve saved me more than once, for example when I woke up, with that curse outside the station, and against all those curses just a few minutes ago. I owe you.”
“No you don’t,” he argues without any defense to back him up.
“Oh shut up,” you cut him off and let his arm go. “Please take my gratitude,” you scold him, making his face twist with confusion. “It’s the polite thing to do. Acknowledge what I’m saying. Thank you, Choso.”
Choso exhales and hesitates before he retorts. “You’re welcome.”
You offer him a tired but genuine smile before you flash him a grin. “You know,” you add. “For someone who says they’re not human, you surely do have a heart ten times bigger than a lot of others I know.”
Choso’s cheeks immediately grow a tint of red, and you hear his breath just slightly hitch, making you insanely proud and yet also deeply flustered that your words could make this nonchalant man express so much.
Is that why you also linger there before him, just looking into his sun-kissed eyes? Because you’re flustered by how you make him feel? Or is it because it’s easy to get lost in his eyes?
Both?
Even so, you can’t stay here forever even if it feels like the right thing to do. You still need to find Itadori.
“Come on,” you break the silence and blink to tear your eyes away. “We’re reaching an exit here just around this corridor. Maybe Itadori is outside.”
Choso hums and you both continue walking—“he’s near,” he cuts in. “I feel it.”
You groan out of exhaustion. “Great! My feet are starting to kill me.”
Plus you just want to lay down and…cry. Now that it’s quiet all you can think about is what you lost and the fact that when you go home you’ll be going without the twins.
“Just around here,” Choso announces and picks up his pace to do a little jog to round the corner that leads to a staircase.
You don’t rush albeit since you don’t hear any danger, or sense any curses.
Plus, you’re immediately assured about Choso’s finding when he speaks up. “Yuji, how are your injuries?”
You hold your breath and regardless of your comfort, you still worry because he might sound like he’s in pain.
“I’m good somehow,” you hear Itadori’s voice travel around the corner, and it sounds fine. But emotionally, you can sense his agony—“despite being hit by a black flash.”
You finally reach the stairs and you see Itadori sitting down in the middle of the last flight of stairs with his back hunched, and his head down. Oh, and it seems he found new clothes to replace his torn ones and exposed upper half.
“I think it’s because of Sukuna,” Itadori adds. “I can tell that his strength is growing.”
“Yuji,” Choso adds as he comes to a stop a few steps above Itadori. “Don’t worry about me. You can return to Jujutsu High. I have to collect the remains of Shoso and the others anyway.”
Instead of stopping behind Itadori, you continue to walk down.
“I’m not worried about you,” Itadori rebuttals honestly. “The problem isn’t whether I want to return or not. Sukuna is plotting something involving Fushiguro.”
You slow down and listen more intently now.
“Besides,” he continues. “I killed too many people. I can no longer stay with everyone.”
You reach the floor and turn to watch the boy with pity.
“Are you fine with it?” Choso asks.
“I also killed your little brothers,” Itadori brings up, but without hesitation Choso tries to assure Itadori.
“It’s fine. That was a misunderstanding. If Eso and Kechizu were in my place they would say the same thing.”
You look at Choso with a soft look because of his kind words.
“It isn’t about forgiving or not forgiving,” he says. “Brothers are just like that.”
Your face falls and you drop your head to look at the ground and think back to your brother and the night you told him you’d try to forgive him.
You’ve tried so hard to just forgive him, but it’s never that simple. And now he’s gone…
“Let’s go...”
…and even then you find it hard to just forgive him because you think back to what happened when he left and it hurts all over again.
“Y/N?”
You snap your head up and notice Itadori is off the stairs now too, and behind you. “Yes?” You probe.
“I said we should go and take care of the curses—”
“No,” you deadpan. “We won’t do that—”
“But—”
“Regardless of how fast you’ve healed,” you cut him off again and narrow your gaze to a pointed look to make yourself clearer to him. “Regardless of how much willpower you have, we are in no state to go curse hunting at this moment. I have a place nearby that should be backup generated, we’ll be staying there. Patch face and the disaster curses my brother told me to protect you from may be dead, but now your death sentence is up once again because of Satoru being sealed away. They’re going to send someone after you, someone strong. And just to be sure, they will send bounty hunters.”
Itadori nods. “I know that, but I can fight. Or let them kill me.”
You shake your head and argue. “No, you will not,” you sneer. “I made my brother a promise, I will keep it. Which means I’m still looking out for you. And I say we can save the curse hunting for later. No matter how many people they send, they’ll still be plenty enough for tomorrow, and the next day. We’re going to rest, understand?”
It’s not actually a question, but he still answers anyway. “Yeah.”
“Aren't you going home?” Choso interjects.
You look over at him and watch him descend the stairs. “No,” you let him know. “Now that Satoru is gone, my family will come after me to try and kill me. And the higher-ups will send someone to complete the death sentence my brother never executed. I won’t put my people at risk by being there. I'll stay hidden with you two.” You sigh deeply and continue softer. “And in regards to your brothers…with everything that happened the school will be filled with more people than usual. We have to wait to go there. I’m sorry.”
Choso swallows thickly and drops his eyes, but he doesn’t argue, he answers stiffly. “All right.”
You hum with pity and keep your eyes on him for a second before you point your head at the exit. “Come on. I’ll lead the way.” You turn, and just as you take a step forward, Itadori interjects.
“Y/N?”
You come to stop and peer back. “Hm?” You probe curiously and see him watching his hands before he fists them and lets out a shaky breath.
“I’m sorry about your daughters. It was my fault…”
Your curiosity falls and sorrow and confusion slowly take over.
“They’re dead because of me,” Itadori shares in a shaky voice.
“Yuji,” Choso tries to stop him, but Itadori continues.
“I lost control of Sukuna, and I killed them because of it. I’m sorry, I don’t deserve you to look out for me, I don’t deserve your kindness, just leave me behind and don’t worry about me.”
You knew he would never be capable of killing Nanako and Mimiko, but when he started to confess you feared the worst and doubted him because of the agony you’re under. But now that you manage to understand what he said, you know that nothing you say will ever let him change the way he thinks.
The guilt he holds should not burden him, he shouldn’t have to bring himself down because of something he didn’t do nor had no control over.
You wish you could make him understand that, but you know that there’s nothing you can say that will make him understand. All you can offer is your kindness and reassurance in hopes it eases his grieving heart.
“Yuji Itadori,” you whisper and get closer to him to grab his arm.
Itadori lifts his eyes the moment he feels your touch, and looks at you confused.
“My girl's deaths are not your guilt to carry. Just like the destruction that happened, and all those deaths you mentioned are not your fault either.” You say so he can at least hear. If he doesn’t want to accept it, he can at least hear the truth. “I know it doesn’t feel like that because it was your body Sukuna was using, but it was not you, not your soul, nor your will. I don’t blame you and I never will. And I know that,” your voice trembles. “Nanako…” you swallow thickly as you struggle to say their names. “And Mimiko would feel the same way. So don’t apologize.”
Itadori drops his head and lets out a deep breath without adding anything to the matter. So you give his shoulder a soft and comforting squeeze. You’d hug him because it looks like he needs a good hug, but you don’t want him to feel uncomfortable, so you just squeeze his shoulder and part away.
“Now,” you sigh and lift your eyes, catching Choso’s gaze that had been watching you interact with his brother the entire time—“Let’s go. We could all use a good warm meal, a nice shower, and a good rest.”
“Wait,” Itadori cuts in again.
“Itadori it’s okay,” you assume it’s about the same thing.
“You asked about Nanami before,” he blurts, making your hopes rise.
However, as Itadori lifts his head, he looks at you with his eyes glossy with tears, and with his lips trembling and dropped to a sorrowful frown, making your heart sink, and the realization of what he was saying in his silence slowly hit you.
It explains why he wouldn’t answer, why he didn’t just send at least a short message to assure your worry or stop your incessant calling.
Yet you can’t accept what he’s not saying and what your heart is grasping.
“No,” you deny him as if it was a choice you could take.
Tears roll down his cheeks, and you feel your inkling of hope shatter.
“I’m sorry,” he continues. “When I found him it was too late, Mahito had had a hold of him and…killed him. I’m sorry.”
You slowly lift your hand to clench onto your burning chest as it feels tight and heavy as if the news had stolen your ability to breathe.
“Y/N?” Choso calls out with his voice filled with concern. Yet through all the noise in your head, you don’t actually take in his voice.
All that runs through your mind is how; how could he—how could Nanami have died? He was strong, he was smart and skillful. If anything you always thought he’d outlive you. How could he have died?
It can’t be true. You can’t accept your best friend's death. You can’t accept that another one of your best friends died and that you lost someone else on this fucking horrible day! You can’t accept it.
“Where?” You ask Itadori in a quivering voice.
“What?” He probes.
You draw in a sharp breath and your chest hurts. “W-where?” You breathe out. “Where was he last? Kento? Itadori, where?”
Itadori tells you and you quickly and sharply turn on your heels to storm in the direction he gave you.
Itadori and Choso followed after you, but neither of them try to stop you. They just try to keep up with you, basically running over to where Itadori told you Nanami was.
And yet no matter how hard they try, they still get left behind as you manage to get ahead. The only time you slow down is when you reach the floor Itadori pointed you to because you begin to hopelessly hope that he’s somehow wrong. You desperately hope that it’s some stupid joke.
Alas, when you enter the hall Itadori mentioned, you come to an immediate halt and feel your body stiffen, and those already short breaths feel as if they completely stops the moment your eyes land on…him; the lower half of his body recognizable by the tan dress pants he wore as his uniform.
In truth it could be anyone, you desperately want to believe it’s someone else, but this is where Itadori said he’d be. The hall is all battered by a battle as well. And the floor around the body is stained with thick blood, proving to you with each fact that what you see isn’t some trick or a stranger, it’s him.
Plus, no one else carries a cleave wrapped with a printed cloth around the blade, only he does.
And that hand, that single hand still wrapped around the handle; that pale and big hand further proves Itadori right.
This body you see is Kento Nanami, this is your best friend, and he’s…dead.
“Kento?” You still call out quietly and desperately regardless of what your heart and mind are forced to accept. “Nanamin?”
There’s no answer, you didn’t expect an answer, but you still wanted one even if you just saw the lower half of his body.
“Ken,” you whisper hoarsely and slowly walk to what remains of him. “Not you too. Please not you too,” you mumble. “Nanamin?”
When you reach his body you stare blankly at his legs and it begins to feel as if you’re being dragged down into a darker abyss by a stronger grip of grief.
First the twins, now Nanami too. Your daughters and your best friend. And what’s worse is that you couldn’t save either of them, you only found what was left of them; corpses.
You’re strong, yet you keep losing and failing those you love. They keep dying and you’re never there, you can never try to help. or at least say goodbye.
They’re gone and all you’re left with are pieces of them, memories, and agonizing pain that leaves you unable to breathe. You can process the truth before you but you have to clutch onto your chest as it burns with the inability to breathe.
You try to draw in breaths, but it feels like all the pain you feel heightens within you, squeezing your throat close, leaving you weak, and causing you to fall on your knees by what’s left of Nanami.
You don’t know how you’re still conscious but you still are, you can still see him, and you can still feel your agony sinking you further down into darkness and away from that light you had found after Suguru’s death. You had barely held on when you found the twins, you didn’t want to lose yourself, and there was a pull, a source that didn’t let that light flicker off, but now it’s all gone.
Now with Nanami gone, it all crumbles because he was your best friend, he was someone who gave you a second chance when you thought you had none. He was someone who was always there when you needed it, he never judged you on anything you did, and he never hated you for leaving everything and everyone with just a simple text. He loved you unconditionally and never asked for anything in return.
He was your best friend, someone you fought alongside with, someone you grieved the loss of Haibara with, someone who you went to when you felt hopeless or scared, and now he’s gone. Your best friend…your loyal and greatest friend is gone. Forever…
They're all gone…
Haibara, Suguru, Nanako, Mimiko, and Nanami are all gone…
And it’s just now as you keep repeating that in your head over and over again that your entire being is slammed with a wave of crueler pain of realization, and it feels like you can breathe again.
But maybe that’s because you begin to weep over Nanami’s body.
Everything around you disappears, and the sight of Itadori and Choso finally catching up drowns out, leaving only Nanami and you in this hall.
“I’m sorry,” you mewl as you try to reach for some part of him, but end up empty-handed as there’s nothing for him to grab. “I’m sorry.”
You hug yourself tightly and begin to rock back and forth as you continue to sob over your friend's corpse.
“Please,” you plead but don’t ask out loud for forgiveness or for him to not leave you alone; he’s gone you know, but you still plead for that in your head again and again for who knows how long.
Neither Choso nor Itadori try to get you up. There’s a looming threat everywhere now that curses are reigning over the city, but they don’t try to cut your grieving short, they let your sobs fill the room, and leave the chill of solitude continue to embrace you.
Neither of them knew you craved to be held, or comforted, neither of them knew how much you wanted someone to take you away from there, or simply hold your hand as you grieved for Nanami and the daughters you lost on what’s supposed to be a good day; your birthday. Itadori—no, Choso mostly just watched you, while Itadori began to quietly get lost in his own sorrow himself.
There does come a moment, a sudden feeling in Choso that makes him want to approach you. His hand twitches your way, and he moves his leg to walk over, but then he stops when he hears multiple approaching footsteps. One even sounds like they don’t have shoes on, so he grows cautious and gets ready in case it’s a threat.
Nevertheless, what enters the hall is no threat.
Not like you register any of it either way, your eyes stay glued to the corpse in front of you until you feel a hand grab your shoulder.
You look back immediately and gasp with relief when you see Larue.
“Larue?” You whisper and push yourself up to your feet.
Said man looks at you with pity and you don’t wait a single moment to throw your arms around him.
“I’m here now y/n,” he says as he presses you against him.
You hold onto him and cry harder into his bare shoulder.
“Tsukumo is here too,” he shares, making you open your eyes to see the woman he mentioned.
“I couldn’t leave without making sure you were okay,” she says softly, which is a tone she rarely uses.
You part your lips but you don’t actually respond, you can’t find the energy at the moment so you just nod in comprehension before you hide your face again on Larue’s shoulder.
“Who is that?” You hear Itadori ask.
“Larue, her family,” Yuki answers his curiosity.
“A Gojo?”
“No,” she quickly corrects him. “Family she's made along the way.”
“Oh.”
“Why don’t we go home, y/n?” Larue suggests as he rubs your back. “You need rest.”
You pull away from his embrace and face him with even deeper sorrow. “Nanako…and Mimiko,” you break the news before you can protest. “They’re…they’re gone too. Larue…Sukuna…he…he,” you gasp for air and drop your head as you can’t muster to finish the sentence.
“Oh,” Larue gasps. “Oh.”
You lift your watery gaze and see his face show his heartache instead of the pity he feels for you.
“I’m sorry,” you murmur and hold your hands together. “I'm sorry.”
Tears fill Larue's eyes but he still shakes his head and corrects you. “It’s not your fault and they wouldn't want you to blame yourself either. You know that. It’s not your fault,” he repeats harsherly so you’d understand.
“How can I go home and tell Satori?” You ask desperately. “It’s…It’s my fault they’re not going home. I should've turned them away when I ran into them.”
Larue grabs your jaw and leans in closer. “They would’ve stayed either way. It’s not your fault. I’m sure they tried to fight, you taught them too. Don’t blame yourself y/n, don’t do that to yourself.”
You swallow thickly and you still don’t feel convinced but you don’t argue.
“And Suguru,” you mention and fiddle with your fingernails. “I should’ve taken his body home to cremate him, now…some bastard is using his body. Did Yuki tell you that?” You ask and look at him. “Did she say it was not him that did all this? It was someone else.”
Larue drops his hand from your face and exhales deeply as he nods. “Yes, I know.”
You lick your lips and bring up something that comes to mind. “Manami and Toshihisa must not know though, that’s why they work for him. That’s why they betray us. We have to help them.”
Larue clenches his jaw and his eyes fall to hide his emotions, letting you figure out by that simple action that you’re wrong.
“They…knew?” You ask with disbelief.
Larue nods stiffly and you begin to realize something…how does he know that they knew that truth if Noritoshi barely dropped his farce? If he barely showed himself to the Jujutsu society?
He just revealed who he really was in that fight moments ago, so Larue knows about Manami and Toshihisa because…
“You…knew?” You ask and hope you’re wrong.
Larue drops his head and clenches his jaw harder, letting you know with his silence that you’re unfortunately right.
“You,” you gasp and step back in disbelief. “You knew?”
Larue slowly lifts his eyes and swallows back thickly. “We didn’t want you to suffer more than you already were. And the twins...they wanted to get Suguru back first before they told you.”
You’re slammed with a pang of pain that hurts your heart even more.
Yet no matter how hurt you are there’s nothing you can do about the twins knowing and hiding that from you. They’re gone, but Larue isn’t. And Miguel…
“Did Miguel know?” You ask with a mix of anger and betrayal.
“He did,” Larue confesses.
There’s a deeper and sharper pang in your heart now.
“You had just lost Suguru, we didn’t want to tell you yet,” Larue adds as if that made anything better, but it only works to add to the betrayal because if you had known you could’ve told Satoru, and he wouldn’t be sealed away. You could’ve stopped Noritoshi together before he caused such chaos in Shibuya. The deaths of Nanako, Mimiko, and Nanami could've been avoided if you had known.
Everything could’ve changed if you had known, but no, they chose to hide it, now your brother is gone, and Noritoshi is out there preparing to cause more disaster.
Nevertheless, you don’t tell him all that, you simply look at Larue with your eyes glossy, and express the betrayal, the fury, and the hurt you feel with your eyes alone. You can’t muster a word and he hates it because your silence hurts a lot more.
“Y/n,” Larue tries to make himself clear, but you push past him and walk to Yuki to speak to her.
“Satori and Belinda are leaving the country tomorrow morning, can you discreetly follow them and just make sure their plane departs without any trouble?” You ask her. “I don’t want to risk having the wrong people see me with them. And I can’t have Satori here with Noritoshi in her father's body. So if it’s not much trouble could you please do that?”
“Y/N,” Larue interjects. “I can go with them. And Miguel can catch up with us.”
You ignore him and narrow your gaze on Yuki. “Yuki?” you probe.
Said woman glances behind you but quickly looks back at you and nods. “Of course, just let me know the rest of the information later.”
You nod. “I’ll text you, and you call me if somethings wrong, please.”
Yuki assures you with a nod, letting you offer her a gentle smile before you look at Itadori and Choso. “Are you two ready to go?”
Choso and Itadori nod, so you move away.
However, Yuki interjects before you can get any further. “Where are you going? What are you going to do?”
You look over your shoulder and part your lips to answer with a sly smirk.
.
.
.
.
.
A/N- Mc: *does nothing.* Choso: “😳😍”
Tagged- @deniseabad1928 @secondary-character-25 @starlightanyaaa @notsaelty @d4rno @moonnime @kodzukein @yozora7154 @heijihattorisgf @elegantweirdorchest
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samsm2mstories · 2 years ago
Text
My coming out story.
I thought I should share you my story about coming out which was actually recently.
For many years I had a lot of suppressive issues that were out of my hands, society, cultures and other reasons which meant for me it wasn't the right time. Luckily for some countries it's easily being who you are compared to 10-20 years ago. The world sucks still as there are homophobic idiots everywhere, some are just sore losers who got not respect in society while others just don't know any better as their upbringing wasn't teaching them to respect others.
Luckily enough I live in the UK and we as a country have got better even although the early / mid 1900s generation are still hard at adapting to the modern world. It's not their fault as their times were different. Religion, society didn't know much better but that's history as we are the ones that living in this world and will be the ones moving forward. Some people will never understand it and respect it.
I'm lucky to come out around great people, I am a very well respected in person and in general a natural born leader so you could say I was like a captain that was popular which made my coming out harder.
Some of you might be thinking now does it become easier to come out as your identity?
I believe it's can depends on a number of reasons. You got to truly believe that you are who you are.
Don't question it.
If you question yourself, don't come out as that's a sign you are not ready. Talk to your friends, talk to strangers who are gay online (be safe not to disclose personal information)
I will admit I sat in my chair for a few good hours debating how to come out. I decided to go for it and do it in one big statement. That's a strong trait of mine as you all can tell on here.
I needed to write my story in a way that it wouldn't offend people, I did mention about the industry that was homophobic, some of my family and school.
It was that second most nervous point in coming out, just posting/saying it. I thought about listening to a few songs that were a big part of my life, thinking about those moments where sometimes I should of come out earlier to enjoy those moments.
You know what, I don't regret it at all, yes I missed out on some years but I had a brilliant life, travelling the world, experiencing new cultures, and making amazing friends on the way.
It did take a toll on my mental health at times but being the strong person I am, I dealt with it quickly enough.
So that night I sat there and my song came along.
Starship: Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now (read the lyrics while listening to this song)
You know this was a song of mine but the words in it made me realised I want to go out there and enjoy myself.
I finally did it.....
Those nerves, stomach turning inside out, emotions running wild. It all hit me like a ton of bricks.
What will people think?
What will people say?
Will I lose some friends??
Everything was rushing in and out of my mind, I just went to bed, signed out of social media. I recommend you doing this for a day or two as you want to feel the response in one go.
People started to message me, those who had my mobile number. It became a bit easier, I wasn't in the mood for talking much so I text back in small sentences.
I went to work that day and luckily enough nobody there is on my social media pages. I managed to complete 8/10 hours of my shift.
I went home and cried for abit, emotions still hitting me like bullets. You will have moments thinking was this right but deep down you know you are right.
I decided to look at my social media pages.
The final verdict?
I'm finally a free man.
For those who are younger, there shouldn't be anyone under the age of 18 reading my stories as they are explicted but if you are reading this.
For you coming out would be different, I would recommend you do it now when the moment is right but take into consideration your family. Make sure you won't be disowned or kicked out of the house. Have a read-up online about it all and PLEASE RESEARCH EVERYTHING.
We all have different circumstances and you must be completely assured that coming out will be good when the moment is right..
Yes some might not agree with it.
Yes some might hate you now.
Yes some might be shocked and haven't replied.
Who cares????
This is your life so go out there and enjoy it, be safe while at it. Please use protection during sex with strangers.
Remember if you ever feel I doubt or want to talk, there's helplines, friends in the community, even send me a text if you want to talk more.
Don't be afraid to talk.
I hope you all enjoyed this irl story and it would be amazing if some of you reply to this about your coming out stories. It would make a brilliant discussion.
For those who are unsure on their sexuality, speak to me or other members of the community. Talking helps to make a decision. You will feel much better.
Sam your favourite Alpha writer 😎
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jurijyuu · 9 months ago
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Scratch an Itch Ch. 28: All I Can Give
MDNI. Mentions of Cannibalism
Link to full chapter
Ynna’s POV
You never thought there would come a day when being outside the hotel, amongst the rowdy crowds of sinners, would be preferable to the safety of home. After breakfast, you’d managed to convince Angel to window shop with you. He’d been a very animated companion until his phone started ringing non-stop and he was pulled into work a little after lunch. 
The concerned side eye you threw at him when the beeping of his phone became more and more erratic and demanding was met with a pair of gloved hands covering your eyes.
“No. You are NOT coming to my work place. EVER. Got it, toots?” You didn’t even have to utter a word. Angel knew all too well just how much you disliked his boss. The numerous times you’d expressed your hate for the moth and how he treated your friend were practically seared into his ears. 
“But it’s just—“ 
“Hapapapa! No.” Another hand went to stop your words. “How about instead of trying to threaten my boss, you go on back to the hotel and fix your shit with Smiles. I guarantee, that’ll be a lot easier than gettin’ involved with the likes of Val, kay?”
“I just hate how you’re practically a slave to the guy. You’re making him so much money; he could at least treat you better.” When the spider finally relented and took his hands back, you could only pout. It was true that you couldn’t do anything for Angel but that didn’t stop you from wanting to. You’d risk another threat of respawning if it got that asshat’s grubby hands off of your friend. 
In the end, you could only watch him grab a cab and go with a pout that did not work on him. Sometimes, when he was uncomfortable, Angel would say just the thing to distract you from his problems. His words about dealing with your situation with Alastor did some of that, shaking your chest despite the casual, almost joking, way he said it.
He was right. You should go deal with that. A sigh escaped your lips as you weaved around the many sinners walking. Since you’d resolved to distance yourself from him, you had to think about how to do just that. Living under the same roof made avoiding him difficult and no doubt, Charlie would question the break up. 
Oh, what were you going to do if the princess insisted that you two should make up? If she knew why this was happening then maybe she’d understand your decision but you couldn’t even utter the words about the shit he fed you because it related to eating him and your deal forbade you from disclosing anything related to it to anyone who didn’t already know. Not that having Charlie know the specifics sounded good. You didn’t want to know if her seemingly boundless forgiveness had a limit and you certainly didn’t want to know if Alastor or Charlie was stronger.
At least you had Angel and he knew how to be discreet.
“What a mess.” Scrubbing a hand down your face, you gave in to a bit of dramatics. A small sinner brushed past you, your shoulders brushing close enough that you had a whiff of the guy. Your nose wrinkled at the notes of sweat, slime and body odor. 
“Watch it, bitch.”
“I’m walking here, asshole.” The interaction took you out of your head for a minute, having to face the guy and assess whether he was going to look for a fight. He was small, with fishy features and also a bit furry. Despite how he smelled, he was clean-looking in a dark purple hoodie and mustard yellow baggy pants. The sinner only sneered but kept on walking.
It was only when the five second interaction ended did you notice the ache in your mouth. Teeth sharpened to points, you realized…that you were ready to rip into the guy if worse came to worst. 
What? 
Looking into yourself, you observed your body. You were expecting that hunger, greedy for the flesh of a sinner to serve you power. A rumbling in your stomach that was infernal and cursed. 
Yet there was none.
That was strange. You were clearly ready to sink your teeth into the man yet the urge to feed off him wasn’t there. Could it be that you needed to be injured to feel that hunger? When you were injured around Alastor, the urge to bite him had been strong, even when your wounds had been treated and your pain was minimal. But that wasn’t completely true, was it?
You weren’t injured last night when you woke up to that dream, not even remotely weak even though you hadn’t eaten. The urge had been there and so frighteningly strong that it almost made sense to bite the deer, to give in to wicked want and take what he would no doubt offer.
Like the whole thing wasn’t a sin.
Please don’t tell me that Alastor is the only one I want to eat.
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smosh-fessions · 6 months ago
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In much recent streams Damien did disclose that he doesn’t feel the need the include himself in queer community/doesn’t expect people to include him under the umbrella etc. he said he is fine being a staunch ally. I don’t think that erases his complex feelings about his orientation and stuff, but it does tell us that he isn’t actively seeking that kind of support right know. Tbh even around the time of the stream that’s been discussed he wasnt asking for excaptence from community or whatever. He was just discussing his and his friends views etc. I don’t see this as him being inconsistent or hypocrite, it’s just the complexities being discussed openly, which the details of it might shift in time esp according to how relevant they are to ones needs. I think you are valid for laying out your stance clearly and arguing for your principles, I do not think you were doing all this for to be “Damien’s white knight” which is a very presumptios thing that was said by one of these anons, and them picking at your tone is just coward stupid shit which told me more about their intentions. But I still don’t think people not including him in conversations around querness is bad at this point esp, it doesn’t seem like something he is putting weight in at the moment. Who knows what’s changed but to me the important part is that he is aware of his privilege and I don’t think anybody could argue in good faith that he is taking some role/opportunity out of some other queer person in any material form that matters, this is a personal moment he shared with us at one time. It’s just that. It’s not posing as something else to get whatever . So it feels weird to me too when people act like you are imposing a foreign identity on him when you are just taking his word. I don’t think it matters that he is being discussed as queer in a corner on tumblr in a way that reflected his words at one time. You aren’t going under Damien’s comments and demanding that he openly identifies as queer or people/him arent demanding that he should be the voice of a queer only space or get ‘’benefits’’ -whatever they might be, from identifying as such. I find people calling other people/themselves things like queer lite a little annoying at worst in a sorta banal way regardless of how they actually identify. Just the verbiage is irrataring to me sometimes for many reason but I also get why people feel the need to work with that. I don’t see why this has to be adressed or fixed since it’s so “distastefu’’ I just don’t see the offensive part which means I also don’t see the need to prove Damien’s place in queerness so this flighty frustration of couple people can be absolved.
This was incredibly well put.
My whole argument is that whether or not he's actively looking to be in the community or just act as an ally, he's got a complicated orientation when you break it down to its base parts. And those have labels.
I'm thinking of it kind of like a watch. It's full of tons of small important pieces that all make it work, but they're still within a *watch.*
I'm simply taking him at his word and agreeing that he's absolutely always allowed to use cishet if that's the most comfortable way for him to do so. If he changes his mind, great! If he doesn't, also great! But we cannor erase the insides because they make up part of who he is.
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ninadove · 7 months ago
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Nina reads Dracula 🦇
October 5th
Whereupon the captain tell him that he had better be quick—with blood—for that his ship will leave the place—of blood—before the turn of the tide—with blood. Then the thin man smile and say that of course he must go when he think fit; but he will be surprise if he go quite so soon. The captain swear again, polyglot, and the thin man make him bow, and thank him, and say that he will so far intrude on his kindness as to come aboard before the sailing. Final the captain, more red than ever, and in more tongues tell him that he doesn't want no Frenchmen—with bloom upon them and also with blood—in his ship—with blood on her also.
I love that these details made it to Van Helsing’s report. No Frenchmen allowed ❌
He was in no friendly mood, when just at full tide, the thin man came up the gang-plank again and asked to see where his box had been stowed. Then the captain replied that he wished that he and his box—old and with much bloom and blood—were in hell.
FSBSKSLLS
I feel a wonderful peace and rest to-night. It is as if some haunting presence were removed from me. Perhaps ...
My surmise was not finished, could not be; for I caught sight in the mirror of the red mark upon my forehead; and I knew that I was still unclean.
Mina no 😭
I know it by instinct rather than reason: we shall all have to speak frankly; and yet I fear that in some mysterious way poor Mrs. Harker's tongue is tied. I know that she forms conclusions of her own, and from all that has been I can guess how brilliant and how true they must be; but she will not, or cannot, give them utterance. I have mentioned this to Van Helsing, and he and I are to talk it over when we are alone. I suppose it is some of that horrid poison which has got into her veins beginning to work.
OH
Now my fear is this. If it be that she can, by our hypnotic trance, tell what the Count see and hear, is it not more true that he who have hypnotise her first, and who have drink of her very blood and make her drink of his, should, if he will, compel her mind to disclose to him that which she know?" I nodded acquiescence; he went on:—
"Then, what we must do is to prevent this; we must keep her ignorant of our intent, and so she cannot tell what she know not."
OH FUCK NO NOT AGAIN
Van Helsing has gone away to prepare for the meeting, and his painful part of it. I really believe his purpose is to be able to pray alone.
I wonder how many of his “preparations” are just him praying alone
I propose that we add Winchesters to our armament. I have a kind of belief in a Winchester when there is any trouble of that sort around.
Spoken like a true Texan! 🤠
How strange it all is. I sat watching Mina's happy sleep, and came as near to being happy myself as I suppose I shall ever be.
🥺❤️
"Promise me that you will not tell me anything of the plans formed for the campaign against the Count. Not by word, or inference, or implication; not at any time whilst this remains to me!" and she solemnly pointed to the scar. I saw that she was in earnest, and said solemnly:—
"I promise!" and as I said it I felt that from that instant a door had been shut between us.
😔💔
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fyonahmacnally · 8 days ago
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Forged by Fire - Chapter 12
True to her word, Kelly has people there within the hour. Imra calls for them to open the back gate and backs a van onto the drive. Two other familiar faces are standing next to her on the back patio when Kelly opens the door. Mike Matthews and Siobhan Smythe. When they all step inside, Kelly turns to Kara and says, “I figured it would be best if it was people you were at least familiar with, people that have been here before.”
Kara nods, watching as the three of them stand in the kitchen. She grabs the briefcase from the coffee table and passes it along to Imra. “This is all of the drugs, photos, flash drives, documents, and voice recorders. The guns are upstairs, it’ll likely take several trips to get them all.”
Lena steps up next to Kara, nodding at Siobhan in greeting before wrapping her hand around her best friend’s bicep. “We’ll show you upstairs to the arsenal.”
With that, Siobhan, Mike, and Imra follow the two of them upstairs. The only conversation between them is directly related to the removal of the guns. When they enter the closet, Imra lets out a whistle of disbelief and Mike a quiet ‘damn’ before everyone grabs two long guns each. 
On the second trip, Alex and Kelly join them. With the extra hands, they’re able to remove all the long guns in two trips. It doesn’t take long for the group to clear the handguns, still very little conversation between anyone. Imra, Mike, Siobhan, and Kelly talk amongst themselves, but Alex, Kara, and Lena remain silent. Within an hour and a half, Imra, Mike, and Siobhan are gone along with all the shit James left behind.
The four of them stand on the patio watching the van drive away, Kara waiting to close the gate behind them. They stare in silence as the blonde activates the lock when Alex speaks. “You know, I realize this means everything should be over, but I still feel like the other shoe is going to drop at any minute.”
Kelly and Lena hum in agreement as Kara rejoins them and everyone steps back inside. All four of them stand in awkward silence for a solid thirty seconds before Lena speaks up. “I’ve had far too much scotch to stand in the middle of the kitchen when I can sit comfortably on the couch.” Without another word, she strolls back to her place on the couch and drops onto the cushion. 
When all of them are back in their previous positions, Kara breaks the ice. “I’m not sure this is really over. The fact we know the inner workings of The Oath Brokers makes us a liability to them. Sure, we gave them the information back, but they have to know we’ve seen it.”
“Agreed.” Lena nods, leaning closer to Kara on the couch. “You two may not have seen the actual contents of the case or heard any of the recordings, but they don’t know that. As far as they know, all four of us are aware.”
Kelly sighs, running her hands down her jean clad thighs. “I trust Imra and Siobhan not to disclose anything. The wild card is Mike. He’s gotten in trouble a few times for going rogue. There’s a reason he and James were such good friends.” She shakes her head as if she remembers something. “Mike and Imra have a history, he’s slightly terrified of her so I think she will keep him in line. If not, he’ll end up on the same list James did. Edge and his men don’t fuck around when it comes to their business.”
“See, that’s what worries me. Do you think they’ll come after any of us for what they think we know?” Alex inquires, her legs bouncing in defiance of her calm countenance. “How the hell did you get involved with them, anyway?”
A resigned groan crawls from Kelly’s throat. “Long story short, my father got mixed up with them right after our parents got married. Like James, he was a bit arrogant and acted like he was invincible. The Oath Brokers caught him skimming profits and attempting to do his own thing one too many times.”
She pauses as her eyes drift to the wall before she continues, “They slit his throat when I was eleven and James was thirteen. The only way they would leave our mother out of it was by requiring both James and I to ‘enlist’ with them to repay the debt. James was all in, but I avoided it like the plague. For the most part, they left me alone unless they needed me to wrangle my brother in.”
“Has he ever pushed them as far as he did this time?” Lena asks, snuggling further into Kara’s side as the blonde wraps an arm around her.
“He’s come close. I’ve had to get involved at least two other times and cash in some favors to keep him alive. He would always promise it was the last time. Blah blah blah.” She lifts her hand to her face to wipe away errant tears. “I knew the moment I found out what he was doing to you there was no going back, Kara. He would never leave you alone. Plus, his greed and arrogance would never allow him to stop his side hustle. It was always going to end this way.”
Kara glances at Lena before she chimes in, “You’re not wrong, you know. When we were going through the house to make sure we found everything he stashed, there was a lock box with fake identities. Two for each of us and a bunch of cash. My gut tells me he planned to force me on the run with him.” A shiver runs down her spine at the thought. “When I…umm, when I told him about the pregnancy, his first response was anger. After that, it was possession. He told me he owned me since I was carrying his baby.”
The room is eerily silent when Kara finishes speaking. She hadn’t planned to say any of that, but it feels good to get it off her chest. There’s one more thing she needs to say out loud, one more thing she hasn’t spoken outside her own mind. Not even to her best friend. Now that James is gone, maybe it’s time to speak her truth out loud. 
“What I am about to say might seem horrible, it might be something you never thought I would say. Just know I don’t say it lightly.” The blonde says, a shaky breath accompanying her fidgeting hand. “When I woke up in the hospital and found out I lost the baby, I was glad. I wasn’t upset. I wasn’t sad. I was elated. Not just because I didn’t want to be tied to him, but also because…”
A broken sob rockets from her chest as she collapses into Lena. Alex and Kelly practically bolt over to her as well. By the time Kara is calm enough to speak again, Alex, Kelly, and Lena have tears in their eyes as well. All of them readjust on the couch. Kara and Lena in the middle with Alex next to Kara and Kelly on the other side of Lena.
Alex hands her sister a tissue from the box on the coffee table before asking, “Do you need to take a break? You don’t have to tell us anything you aren’t ready to, Kara. You’ve been through a lot in the last few months, years even. It’s okay if you need to wait.”
Blowing her nose into the tissue, she shakes her head. With a sniffle and a small nod to herself, she lays her head on Lena’s shoulder. “I know, Alex, but I need to say it out loud. I’ve avoided it for months because it makes it real. You guys are right, James is gone and he can’t hurt me anymore. I need to say this for myself. ” 
Another sniffle and a shaky exhale, then the words she’s been waiting to confess, “The night I got pregnant was during one of his tirades. He, um, he forced himself on me after he beat me pretty badly. It was one of the worst beatings in a while. It started as him punching and choking me then got progressively worse. I honestly don’t remember what set him off that night, but I’ll never forget how it ended.”
When her voice trails off, the silence around her is deafening. She’s not sure what she expected after a confession like that, but the quiet is making her uneasy. Just as she is about to fill the silence, Lena speaks. 
“Darling, I hope you know and understand none of this was your fault. Not a single part of it. What you’re feeling, how you felt in the hospital, all of it is valid.” She pulls the blonde closer, pressing a gentle kiss to her temple. “None of us will judge you or think differently of you for feeling relieved about losing the baby. Even though James is gone, the scars from the trauma are still there. We’re here to help you heal.”
Kelly reaches across Lena to place a hand on top of Kara’s knee. Tears are streaming down her face, misplaced guilt swimming in her eyes. “If I could take it all away from you, Kara, I would. My brother never deserved you. I promise I will do whatever I can to make things better from her on out. I’m so sorry.”
“No, Kelly. You have nothing to apologize for. James made his own choices, forged his own path. He was never going to listen to anyone else no matter what consequences he suffered.” Kara wearily says, her hand sitting on top of her sister-in-law’s. “In the end, you’re the reason I’m free from him. That’s something I couldn’t do on my own. Without you, Alex, and Lena, it scares me to think about what would have happened.”
Alex leans forward, adding her own hand to the top of the pile. “That’s what we’re here for, Kara. We all protect each other. I think we’ve proven as much in the last couple of weeks.” A humorless laugh escapes her mouth as she rests her head against her sister’s back. “On that note, I think Kelly and I are going to take our leave. We obviously have a lot of things we need to sort out ourselves. I just found out my wife is an associate of The Oath Brokers and we both committed crimes. Not your average Saturday night conversation.”
The four of them chuckle. It’s a weak sound, but it breaks the tension as they all stand. Kara and Lena walk them to the door where they all exchange hugs and agree to dinner  at Alex and Kelly’s place the following evening. Once the door is closed and locked, the two of them mosey into the kitchen to warm up something for dinner. 
They move around one another in peaceful quietude, like they’ve done thousands of times before. It seems no matter where they are or what they are doing, the two of them gravitate toward one other. Shoulder-to-shoulder and hip-to-hip, they share the task of making their plates. Leftover zuppa toscana soup Siobhan made, it’s the last of the meals and it makes Kara wonder if she or Eve will ever be back. 
Moving to the other side of the island, they each relax onto a bar stool to eat in comfortable silence. It’s nothing new for them, they’ve eaten next to each other without speaking countless times. For them, it’s a calm companionship. Almost as if every single molecule in their souls vibrates at the same frequency. They understand what’s being said without words, speaking a soundless language their hearts learned ages ago.
Once their food is finished and the dishes are done, they clean up the remnants of the intense and draining confessional with Alex and Kelly. It seems Lena is the only one that didn’t share a secret. Locking up and shutting off lights, they ascend the stairs side-by-side. The past two days have been one hell of a rollercoaster ride. The two of them want nothing more than to shower and crawl into bed. So, that’s what they do. 
It’s nearing 11:00 p.m. by the time they’re both underneath the covers and snuggled into one another. As exhausted as they are, their minds are running laps around their skulls. Neither of them will be able to sleep anytime soon, there is still so much to do and so much to discuss. The lingering question is, where do they start?
With the cover of darkness in her favor, Lena rolls onto her side so she and Kara are face to face. They’re close enough that Lena can feel Kara’s breath against her face and see the faint outline of her jawline. Their bodies are so close their legs are intertwined, Kara’s casted hand resting on Lena’s hip like it belongs there. The truth is, Lena thinks it does. She always has. 
Maybe it’s time for her own confession. 
The two of them lay there in the stillness of the bedroom, eyes focused on each other. Gathering all the inner strength she can muster, she raises her hand to gently tuck a stray blonde lock behind Kara’s ear before resting her palm against her cheek. She can feel the tears stinging her eyes and the nervousness building in her gut. Whether this ends up being the best decision of her life or the second worst (she did help dispose of a body for fuck sakes), she has to do it now. 
“Kara…” It comes out as a soft whisper. She doesn’t mean for it to, but she’s terrified. Her best friend nuzzles into her palm, almost silently encouraging her to continue. “You’re so beautiful. Oh so beautiful, Darling. I just…I love you so much. With every single ounce of my being, I have loved you for most of my life. I think I spent so many years with other people because the idea of being with you and then losing you terrified me. Honestly, it still does. However, being here with you these past two weeks, going through the things we have, it’s made me realize I don’t want to be away from you anymore, Kara.”
Lena shifts closer, pressing their foreheads together. “Maybe the timing is inappropriate, maybe I should have waited. I don’t know. What I do know is that I have been in love with you since we were barely teenagers and I’m tired of pretending with other people. Nothing will work with them because they aren’t you. You’re it for me, you always have been. I’ve just been too scared to say it out loud.”
The warm silence that cocoons them is soft and safe. It’s much like the way they spent so many nights throughout their childhood and college years. They bask in it for a while until Lena realizes Kara hasn’t responded to her pouring her heart out. She slowly begins to panic, but the moment she starts to pull her hand away, she feels dampness on Kara’s cheek. For a second her panic increases, has she ruined the best thing in her life? Fortunately, that's when Kara pulls her closer, halting her movement as her panic ebbs into realization.
“Oh Lena, I love you, too. So, so very much. From the very moment you walked into my English class that day, I was enamored with you. Regardless of who I was with or for how long, I’ve always wished it was you.” She pauses, a slight sniffle sounding between them before touching their noses together like she’s always done when they are talking quietly in bed. Lena lightly wipes away her best friend's tears, grateful she feels the same.
With another sniffle and a light chuckle, she continues, “You know, I’ve been waiting for you to acknowledge this since our sophomore year in college. Before Jack, before Mike, back when you were the center of my world. When you showed up with Jack that night, I figured I was alone in the way I felt so I pushed those feelings as far down as I could.”
“I always regretted that, you know? Being with Jack…I always knew he and I would never be more than friends. You and I were so close and everything was so perfect that I did what I always do. I tried to ignore the scary emotional things. I think a small part of me thought maybe you would break things off with Mike when I split with Jack. When you didn’t? Well, I figured I lost my chance.” A single tear slides down Lena’s cheek, a lone drop of grief for what might have been.
Kara sighs, there are so many moments over the years where they could have taken the steps needed to bring what they both wanted to life. If only one of them had been brave enough back then. “On the day of my wedding, there was this little part of me that wished you would beg me not to do it so we could run away together. I felt so guilty because back then, I genuinely cared about James. Regardless, it’s always been you for me, Lena. Always.”
Without preamble, as if pulled together like magnets, their bodies draw even closer. Lena’s hand slides from Kara’s cheek to the back of her neck while Kara’s hand wraps around her waist pulling their bodies flush. Slowly and with the utmost care, their lips meet for the first time in seven years. Each of them releases a soft sigh followed by a gentle moan, flocks of butterflies perform gymnastics in their stomachs. It feels like coming home, like the first rain after a long drought. For the first time in years, their souls find peace.
Getting lost in kissing each other is something they’ve always done. Being late to countless plans and events was prevalent during their college years. They don’t have anywhere to be at the moment, but Lena wants to make sure they do this right. She doesn’t want to go into this lightly and wants it to be clear this isn’t like all the times in the past. Sure, she just professed her undying love for the blonde, but there is no room for misinterpretation this time. 
Just as things are really getting heated, the CEO taps the brakes. “Wait, Kara! Pause for a second, Darling.” She presses her hand against her best friend’s chest to put some space between them. Panting, she does her best to think through the haze of arousal thrumming through her body. She’s dreamed about this very moment countless times, but the stakes are real now. 
“What is it? Did I hurt you? Is something wrong?” Kara questions, concern shining from the crinkle between her brows that Lena can feel more than see. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
“Nothing is wrong, my love. I just don’t want to rush this and I need to be clear about where we stand.” Lena states, vulnerability wafting from her like steam. “I love you, but it’s more than that. I want a future with you. It will take time, but I am working toward opening a branch of LS MedTech here in National City.”
She takes a deep breath, steeling herself to say the next words. Gesturing between the two of them, she says, “This…you and I, I want it more than anything. This isn’t like our MIT days, Kara. I want you, for the long haul. Marriage, a dog, and maybe even kids someday. All of it. I know we have a lot to deal with in light of James’ antics, but I’m here to stay, Darling. If you need time, I understand, but I’m all in.”
“God, Lena. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this. I’ve been in love with you since I was twelve. That’s nineteen years! If I could have married you instead of James, I would have. In fact, I should have.” She shakes her head to rid herself of the memories trying to creep through. “My biggest regret is leaving Cambridge and coming here. I wish I had stayed there while you were finishing your PhD. No matter, we are here now. I want this, I want you. We can go as slow as you need to, I’m not going anywhere.”
Kara pulls Lena into her arms and they lay in bed just breathing in each other’s presence. With her head on Kara’s chest, she lets herself dream of what a future with her best friend would look like. That’s when it occurs to her, to the world, James is just missing and not dead. Kara is still married as long as he is deemed missing. In most cases, he will have to be missing for seven years to be declared dead. She groans at this thought. 
Her groan makes Kara laugh before she asks, “What’s going on in that head of yours? I know that noise. That’s the ‘I just thought about something and I’m annoyed’ noise. So spill it.”
“It’s nothing. I just remembered that since James is considered missing and not dead, you’re still legally married. In most cases, you have to wait until they have been missing for seven years to have them declared legally dead. There’s no magic we can muster to make a body appear. On the plus side, you can still file for divorce.” Lena huffs, of course the man is still a pain in the ass, even in death. 
Kara is quiet for a minute before she responds, “You’re not wrong, but also, we know someone that can do something about it. Hear me out. Imra is on the case and she knows he’s dead. Maybe we can get Kelly to talk to her and have The Oath Brokers work their criminal magic to help. We returned all their shit and they know we disposed of the body. At this point it’s mutual incrimination.”
“Ummm, about that…” The CEO sheepishly says. “I may have a duplicate copy of the hierarchy and prominent figure information. I don’t trust them, Kara. I want something to protect us in case they come back. If they find out we kept the money, it might bite us in the ass. This gives us insurance.”
A deep, low chuckle resonates from Kara’s chest. It continues for almost a full minute before she collects her composure. “I should have known you would keep something to protect us. Seems like we need to rent a safety deposit box to keep some things hidden. We need to burn those passports, too. How are you going to get the money into your offshore account?”
“We can get a safety deposit box one day this coming week. I need to think about looking for an apartment or house soon anyway. As for the money, Wilson is sending one of his boys to pick up the briefcase with the money. They’re going to set-up an international wire transfer from New York. For a fee, of course.” Lena grins, curling further into Kara’s warmth. “Now, let’s get some sleep. I’m exhausted and we still have a lot to do before we meet up with Alex and Kelly tomorrow.”
With one final slow and tender kiss, they drift off to sleep in each other’s arms. It’s the best, most restful sleep either of them have gotten in years. They still have a lot to figure out and quite a few obstacles to hurdle, but with each other, they’re confident they’ll make it through. 
Waking the next morning, neither of them want to get out of bed or leave the comfort of the other’s warmth. It isn’t until the sun is making itself known through the window and Kara’s stomach growls that they finally leave the bed. It’s nearing noon when they scour the kitchen for something to eat. Suddenly, Lena remembers to ask Kara about Eve and Siobhan.
“Hey, I forgot to ask about Eve or Siobhan not showing up on Thursday when the detectives were here. Did you call them beforehand?” Lena inquires, curiosity clear in her tone.
Kara smiles, leaning down to kiss Lena on the lips. “Yes, I called to tell them not to come because there was something going on at the house. I was vague about it because I didn’t know at the time they were involved.” She shrugs and closes the fridge for the third time.
“I guess we should get ready to grab some lunch and get groceries while we are out. We can pretty much bank on not seeing Eve or Siobhan again.” Lena laughs, heading toward the stairs to shower for the outing. “Oh, we should also pick up some more cameras. If we are going to stay here for a while, we need to have eyes on this place.”
“Agreed.” With that, they take the stairs to get their day started. 
It’s nearing 4:30 p.m. when they return from their lunch and shopping. They jointly decide to ask Alex and Kelly to come over there instead of meeting at their place. Having Alex to help install the new cameras will be better than Kara trying to help with a cast. 
An hour later, Alex and Kelly are ringing the doorbell with bags of food in hand. With the change of location, they decided to order from their favorite Italian place instead of cooking. Alex immediately clocks the cameras sitting on the coffee table and makes a beeline for them, followed closely by Lena. The CEO already knew the elder Danvers would want to install them and Lena is happy to have the help. 
“Do they meet your approval, protective big sister?” Lena asks, a smirk on her face since she knows they are top of the line. She purposely bought the best ones available. Sleek, low-profile, night vision, sound, all the bells and whistles. Not to mention she bought the equipment to set-up an internal server inside the house that also backs up to her private cloud for built in redundancy. If someone sets foot on the property, they will know who and when complete with notifications to their phones. 
“This is nice equipment, Luthor. It definitely has your signature all over it. Kara is brilliant, but she doesn’t know engineering like you do.” The redhead eyes the stash with bemused respect. “Knowing you, I’m guessing you’ve already installed and set-up the internal network, too. Shall we start on the external ones before it gets dark?”
As the two of them head outside, Kara helps Kelly put together the ingredients for the chocolate pecan pie Alex asked for. At first, they work in companionable silence. Before long, Kara’s curiosity gets the best of her and she has to ask. “How are things between you and Alex?”
Kelly pauses her mixing and tilts her head toward the ceiling, eyes closed. After taking a couple of deep breaths, she turns to look at Kara before responding, “We’re…okay. She’s still pretty angry with me and I don’t blame her. Truthfully, I deserve worse, but I think she feels pretty guilty about James so it’s somewhat of a counterbalance. It will take time, but I think we’ll get there.”
“I hope so. You two are good together and I’d hate to see it ruined because of all this. Besides, I think we’re far more bonded now than we ever were before.” Kara chuckles, they all share a secret that will go with them to their graves. “Nothing like a little murder and accessory to murder to bind a family together.”
An uninhibited laugh rockets from Kelly’s mouth, the first one in what seems like ages. She shakes her head in disbelief at Kara saying something like that. “Kara Danvers, I didn’t know you had it in you! Such morbid humor, I’m here for it.” The laughter trails off as they focus back on their task, the tension finally eased. 
Outside, Alex and Lena are having their own conversation. “How’re you holding up, Alex? Yesterday was a lot and I can’t imagine it was easy to swallow the information you learned.” Lena queries, her eyes not leaving Alex’s movement on the ladder.
“Well, we talked, if that’s what you’re asking. It went about as well as you can imagine until I calmed down. The whole thing kind of turned my world upside down. Once I took a step back and added my own baggage into the mix, we were able to talk things through.” She finishes the final camera on the house and descends the ladder. “We still have a lot of things to work out, but we’ll get there. Alright, gate cameras and then we can eat.”
Lena laughs as they walk toward the back gate to install the last two outdoor cameras, one facing the gate and one facing the house. She and Kara can install the cameras inside the house later, these are the ones that matter right now. The last two cameras don’t take long, but Alex catches her off guard when they’re putting the ladder and tools away. 
“There’s something different with you and my sister today. You look more relaxed than I have seen you the entire time you’ve been here and she’s practically giddy.” Alex grins at the now squirming Lena. “The only time you two ever look or act like this is when you are sleeping together.”
First she splutters, something she hasn’t done since she was in middle school. Second, she nearly trips over her own feet. Finally, she forms words and hurls them at Alex. “Wh-What are you talking about, Alex? How did…what did…” She pauses in an attempt to compose herself before speaking again, “I’m not sure what you are talking about, Danvers, please elaborate.”
With a big belly laugh, Alex shoves Lena toward the patio door. “You act like I don’t know you two were each other’s first or that you two made out like the horny teenagers you were when we were younger. I saw you guys more than once, Luthor. Not to mention I know you did the whole friends with benefits thing in college. However, I’ve always known it was more than that for both of you, even if neither of you admitted it.”
Lena is stunned, she probably shouldn’t be, but she is. Alex has always been perceptive and intuitive. Plus, she knows the two of them better than anyone else outside of each other. She sighs, resigned to the fact that Alex has picked up on the shift between them. “We talked last night, traded some confessions, and we’re taking things slow. I love her, Alex. I always have. I just don’t want to fuck it up.”
“You won’t, Lena. The two of you…you’re inevitable. Regardless of the road to get here, it was always going to be you and Kara.” She slings her arm around the shorter woman and they make their way inside to find Kara and Kelly laughing over a cooling pie. 
Maybe she’s right, maybe it was always going to be the two of them. The road has been bumpy and long, but she can finally see a future that includes more nights like this. More cozy nights on the couch, more lazy mornings in bed, just more time together. There are still things to figure out and more talks to be had, but this is a good start. Right now, at this moment, she’s finally where she’s supposed to be.  
As the four of them sit down to dinner, they don’t notice the figure lurking at the edge of the hedges. The figure watches them for a while, murmuring about unfinished business and getting what’s theirs. Unfortunately for them, the newly installed cameras capture it all.
Find the full story on AO3 here.
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Good day~ Are you accepting requests for Violet Evergarden? If so, may it be some soft moments with Dietfried and reader, please? Falling asleep on his significant other's laps? And his significant other stroking his head gently smiling. Much appreciated~
Thank you so much for submitting your request, my dear!
I hope I did him fair justice!
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If you were to ask anyone what their first impression of Dietfried was, more than likely it would be along the lines of "the defined naval captain of Leidenschaftlich", " the charming and compassionate gentleman", or "dedicated leader, with the burden of assisting rebuild of Leidenschaftlich". To few known people he is heartless man who is willing to treat others as tools for any necessary means. But to you? A man with disclosed, but warming heart, who is funny and playful at times, while also keeping up the responsible face his workplace forces him to wear. Dietfried is the kind of man who despite working for long hours in his office, still finds time to come home, to embrace you in gentle hug. A simple touch from you is enough to return some light in his mind, after dark memories from his past haunt him in the moments of exhaustion.
If there is one thing Dietfried wouldn't admit to is his love for laying his head on top of your lap. If you had a dollar for how many times he silently pleads with his eyes to lay on your lap, you could end the world hunger. Dietfried is very decreet with how he asks for attention. Say you are sitting on the couch, catching up on the latest volume of your favorite novel, one that has been taunting you to read for the past week. Your eyes are scanning through the words, the imagery of the climax between two main characters is keeping you on your toes and you can't put it down. Suddenly, you feel Dietfried sits next to you, wrapping arms around your waist.
"So it seems that I no longer hold value in your eyes, my love. Here I am, on my day off, wanting to spend some time with my beloved. Only to be betrayed, and replaced by a book."
You chuckled at his pouty statement. " Well, I would enjoy my time with you, if you are willing to admit that you were wrong and I was right."
"For the last time, the letter said to meet at 9 o'clock, not 8."
"Even so, with all your military expertise, I would expect you to come earlier to the meeting."
"I am sorry, the previous night's documents have kept me all night. You have to cut me some slack for oversleeping." Dietfried nudges you to forgive him.
"That's not an excuse, dear. Since you seem to prioritize sleep over spending time with me, maybe I should stop letting you sleep on my lap." You tease the poor man.
You have never seen a man so shocked in his life. His eyes were blown out from the sheer fear of losing his favorite activity, besides kissing you.
"You are being heartless." Looking straight into your eyes, Dietfried is trying to see if you are serious about it, or joking. Trying to keep your face as still as possible, you gave him a simple smile. "I will admit my defeat, and I would like to offer my sincerest apologies for thinking otherwise.
Feeling that you got what you wanted, you gently pushed your free hand through Dietfried's hair, leaning forward to place a kiss on his cheek.
"See that wasn't that difficult, hehe."
Sighing, Dietfried placed his head on top of your lap, feeling the light sensation of peace hitting his buddy. To top it off your hand ran through his hair, patting and massaging his head in a rhythmic pattern. With your eyes returning back to the novel, and a gentle smile on your face. What more can he ask for, when he is already in heaven? The only thing that could make it perfect is if he were to ask you to be his wife and you said yes, but this is not the moment for such a major event. He knows that moment needs to be something bigger and more heartfelt. For you have given him so much. Having the patience to wait for him when he works late. It is his heart to bear all the struggles and sad memories that haunt him. When he lost Gilbert, the pain that coursed through his mind was beyond any pain he experienced. You still remember the day when he received the news from the messenger, the letter documenting his brother's records of deceased. That was the day when you saw someone who always conducted himself professionally and seriously when the time came, to break his persona into pieces. He wasn't sure what to do, and only because of your support and love, he was slowly, but not fully recovering from the heartbreak of the loss of Gilbert.
Laying there, surrounded by nothing but the tranquility of this moment, he knew that this was something he would never give up on in his life. Being here with you was something he never imaged happening in his future. He always believed that he would end up marrying someone because of his family status, not finding someone who can stand with him. But you changed that, giving courage when he needed it the most, loving him when everyone around him viewed as the lowest scum by how he treated Miss Violet Evergarden. You were someone who didn't see look at him through the lenses of his status or his actions. You were looking at a Dietfried, a man with bright smile, who cherishes his family, and is willing to work hard beyond his capacity. You saw a man who can achieve anything he desires, while also being someone who is simple in his heart.
"Thank you."
You kept your eyes on the pages, but your mind was on him. "For what, Dietfried?"
"For being here. For loving me. For caring about me. For supporting me at my lowest. I know that I don't say it enough as I should, but I am grateful for you. I find myself falling in love with you in more with every passing day. I love you."
You looked down at him smiling. "I love you too. And I promise I won't threaten your lap-napping time."
Dietfried chuckles, before closing his eyes in peace.
(Do not repost without permission. Sharing is allowed with credits.)
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hyukascampfire · 4 months ago
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first 🌰 ask of the year, how exciting is that 👏😏 hi ashlynn! hope you’re feeling better! it made me so happy to talk about folk of the air with you. i have more fae stories in my 2025 tbr, like balzac’s the last fey (a very short read) and the second book in the emily wilde series (i think the third one is releasing very soon.) concerning my fave reads from the holiday event… you guessed 2 out 3 titles correctly OMG how do you know me this well !?
let’s go about this in descending order.
🥉 krampusnacht ┃ is this a safe space to say i got off to this one? and i know, i know i said i can rarely get into pwp… which is why i’m pleasantly surprised by how captivated i was by this. i saw the light. and the way beomgyu’s delayed appearance creates both tension and anticipation? i was being teased on several levels LMAO.
🥈 it will come back ┃ maybe it’s because the crowd has been awaiting tsfawc taehyun smut with bated breath but i know i’m not the only one who was reminded of him while reading iwcb. let’s begin with the fact that you named it after another hozier song title!? and the jealousy, obviously? (never fear that you might be overindulging in the jealousy trope for i voraciously eat it up every single time.) but i digress. i think what makes a yandere character so caricatural is when the mc knows something’s off with them yet decide not to do anything about it. like, wdym he just baked your cat into a pie for cockblocking him once and you don’t gaf ??? the fact that, in iwcb, mc only realises she’s fucked when it’s too late adds such a layer of realism that amplifies the prevailing dreariness. also “is this what you want? to be fucked like an animal? you’re better than that. but, if it’s what you like, i’ll fuck you like it.” i died, i’m typing this from the afterlife.
🥇 at swan lake ┃ the story began with melancholy but i was so excited to read this one that i couldn’t stop giggling (◞‸◟) i have to say, you’re so great at focusing on one particular personality trait of each member and expanding on it to make up the character you believe best fits the story. it’s like… they’re familiar/recognisable yet we see them in a new light. (“in the air, the rich nuttiness of fire-toasted chestnuts dance…” they could really get me to show up to the engagement party with that fr.) “i’d take you no matter how you are; in a thousand different lives, i’d have you each time.” yeah, i CRIED. you dropped so many banger lines in this one. the lore was so insane in at swan lake, i was invested as hell. the gasp i let out when beomgyu revealed that the whole swan saints thingy is a lie and they can touch ??? why was i bamboozled OFC they can touch otherwise how would they fuck ??? the concept is way too brilliant, i’d totally read it as a novel or novella.
special mentions ┃ the frost remembers (angst is bait, i am fish.) ⟋ milk with your cookies? (i know the people are enjoying gift wrapping more but sleep on beds, not peak!!)
i read everything you wrote and, as i thought, you could never write anything half-assed. glad to know tsfawc is back AAAAA i’d love a spoiler like last time (><) miss my gang (brooding fae man, changeling, the off-putting kelpie guy they sort of adopted and prince charming fae who’s been all in their business, thinking he’s on the team.) take care! stay hydrated and get adequate amounts of rest! love u 🌰🤎
first chestnut ask of the year!! life is good >.<!! talking w u about my silly faerie obsession has been fun and i’ll have to read some more so that it never ends. :3
IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS YOU DONT EVEN KNOW. i’m just awesome and smart like that 😖 JKJK I JUST HAD A FEELING
KRAMPUSNACHT THREW ME OFF A LIL. i think out of the smuttier ones, tho, it makes sense. also YES it absolutely is IM FLATTERED. i need this pair in ways that i should not disclose. beomgyu’s a little wicked and a little eerie but that’s how i like him. LMAO
IT WILL COME BACKKK that’s one of my favorite hozier songs it’s so eerie and sexy at the same time. i knew it had to be the title 😭 iwcb and tsfawc taehyun are definitely in the same vein. especially with that cool calculation. but of course, they have a very different set of morals and i think that’s where they differ most. hehe. i do sometimes fear that i’m going overboard with jealousy, but… i am who i am. i am a hoe for jealousy, but i am FREE and i am HAPPY. i agree w yandere’s sometimes become unbelievable when they’re not handled correctly. sometimes they’re just batshit crazy in broad daylight, and i’m like?? i am not feeling unnerved and slightly out of place, i’m just SCARED. with yanderes, you definitely have to keep reader in a suspension of belief along with the MC. the best part abt a yandere, in my opinion, is that chills feeling you get when you know something is slightly off, but you can’t pin it/say that there’s smth wrong with them, because they’ve gotten good at hiding who they really are. this one was so fun to write for me,, it was my first dabble into dark territory and WHEW did i love it
at swan lake… my baby <<<333 ALSO IVE BEEN TOLD THIS A FEW TIMES, that the members are vaguely familiar when i write them. i fully own that—i think that sometimes it’s really fun to have a character in a fic that is super far from a member’s true self, but i really like being able to relate them back to the members because it just feels so immersive. maybe that’s why i do it, lol. AND I KNEW YOU’D LOVE THAT i was absolutely thinking abt you when i wrote that. so toasty so cozy so yum. i am so attached to this fic, as the certified #1 soulmates & reincarnation truther. something about a love that will prevail and find its way, even through the stark end of death and the pressure of the world on its back… cries. i just loved beomgyu being her opposite, and everything that goes against what she has been taught, but she just couldn’t keep herself away. it was fate. CRIES HARDER.
the frost remembers, my precious :,)) also I LOVE MILK W UR COOKIES AND i am so w u. santa soobin was smth i was not expecting to have to reflect upon myself with, but it happened and i am better for it.
ILY BUNCHES and i miss my gang too :(( they are a strange bunch, maybe even a motley crew, but they have a special place in my heart. i love them and OFCCC i’ll give you guys spoilers. i’m too impatient not too 😭 i get excited for you guys to see. U TAKE CARE OF URSELF and as always i’ll be waiting for the next time you come to talk! :3
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