#i still need to work on my fan apprentice

[chuuruu]

stuff I never posted here i think

[mooishbeam]

『♡』 Obey Me

♡ featuring: kaeya x f!reader

♡ summary: you learn your lesson for disrespecting the calvary captain wc: 4.1k+ (i am so sorry)

♡ cw/tw: wax play, humiliation, degradation, sex toys, dacryphilia, rough sex, hard dom, overstim, orgasm torture, edging, bondage, squirting, pet play if you squint, kaeya is kind of an asshole, pet names (dove, pretty girl, sweetie)

notes: idk how the word count did that I'm too silly. feral kaeya does something to me tbh. n e way I promise a shorter one next time hehe. art by ttalby_ on ig <3 comments and reblogs are appreciated!

Kaeya isn’t used to feeling like this.  

The interesting days of tasks and adventitious missions superseded his need for activities outside of the Knights of Favonius. He often stumbled—more so, needlessly interjected—into petty situations. He lived for theatrics, an audience to indulge emotion and intimacy in its most vulnerable state. A man who solves the problems of the public before his own knew neither authentic nor genuine connection. Kaeya was well aware of how easily he made hearts swoon, with a silver tongue and attractive timbre, a mask imperceptible. When you arrived as an apprentice for the 6th Company, he assumed you’d be just as easy, just as captivated. You were anything but. You barely acknowledged his existence for the first year, and he’d be wrong to say your lack of dalliance didn’t chip away at his self-esteem. 

Something egotistical in him wanted your attention. Romantic prospects were dispensable to him, but you had to know who he was. After all, who doesn’t love the Calvary Captain?  

Just for fun he told himself, as you became the first person to turn him flushed and sow seeds of doubt surrounding love in his heart. Kaeya finally managed to achieve your regard and all you asked for was his name. The audacity of you, to ask the captain who he is? He nearly busted out laughing. He gently held your hand and kneeled to kiss it, maintaining eye contact throughout. 

“Kaeya, my dear.” 

You were surprised to find him waiting for you outside the headquarters one day, handsome navy strands haloed in confidence, a delicate flower and perfumed letter in hand. Kaeya watched you read it in silence, his poem dedicated to you, requesting a date. You couldn’t help but smile at his charm, despite his sweaty palms as he awaited your answer. An accumulation of the little things; the bouquet of roses he bought you weekly, so you’d always have a fresh one, making sure you were always hydrated, his ability to make you laugh in trying times. You were both full of adoration, though he wouldn’t admit how invested he was. The only person who glimpsed the truth was Diluc. Kaeya rambled in his drunken stupor at the tavern, and Diluc sighed at the overdramatic sonnet. “My heart beats for her like no other. Will this be my fate? My Greek tragedy?” he mumbled through hiccups. 

As your relationship blossomed, work withered. An emerging problem reared its ugly head. Your assignments consumed your daily life and dwindled the moments spent with Kaeya. In the beginning stages of dating he understood, exuding nothing but patience and encouraging words. He didn’t expect you to drop work for him, and he was willing to accommodate the hectic schedule. Romantic gestures were limited to light caresses or kisses, clandestine sessions in abandoned alleyways. Frequent dates reduced to a couple a week, then a month, then none. The worst instances were when you assured Kaeya you’d arrive, only to call him a couple hours later with a tired apology, still stuck at your office. You promised him you’d make time for yourself and practice self-care, but it was evident you weren’t listening to his advice. You were no stranger to quickies, kindly offering them to Kaeya if he ever needed “destressing”. But the captain was never a fan of rushed affairs. He wanted desperately to share extended time with you, and you had none to give. It became easier to lie than to admit how overworked you were. 

Kaeya didn’t come to headquarters today, but you recall the conversation from the previous night. 

“Mm, I’m missing my little dove. Think you can come see me?” he said, tilting your chin up to meet his loving gaze. 

“Of course. I don’t have a lot of work tomorrow so I should be done early.” 

“Great. I’ll make dinner for us. Be at my place by 8, okay?” You agreed to the timeframe. 

Now that you’re comprehending the incomplete documents strewn across your desk, you regret your conviction. You shouldered the weight of everyone in your division. It’s getting close to the date, and you’ve barely scratched the surface. You fumble for concentration, anchoring down to finish the rest of the list. You make haste and shove the papers at Hertha. I still have time to get there you thought. Glancing up at the clock as you dart out the building, your eyes widen at what it reads. 10:15 pm. 

Fuck. You’re running now, skirt bouncing and bag rustling, navigating busy streets with an uneasy mind. Once again you promised, and once again you broke it. How could you be so careless? You catch your breath when your hand contacts the door. You relax before giving a few light knocks. The door swings open.  

Kaeya’s hair is free from its usual constraints, draping down his back and shoulders, wispy bangs hugging his sharp features. He’s clearly pissed reclining against the doorframe. He stares at you with his arms folded in front of the parted button down that peaks into the muscular, scarred chest underneath. 

“Kaeya, I-” 

“Get inside.” He turns and walks to the kitchen. You follow him inside and take note of the cold portion of a beautiful plate—presumably your meal—sitting on the table. He swishes the nearly finished red wine before taking a sip. You search aimlessly for an acceptable excuse while he leans against the table with his hand, glass in the other, eyes trained to the floor. Each second of silence simmering makes your stomach knot tighter, and he lets you stand uncomfortably.  

“I’m sorry, I... There were a few roads closed in the area. I had to take a different route.” you fib. He gazes at you, panning up and down before forcing a sarcastic smile. 

“How unfortunate. Are these the same roads that made you three hours late?" His jaw tightens. 

“It was pretty busy today-”  

“I’m feeling generous tonight, so I'll give you one more chance to be honest.”  

You sighed. “I’m so sorry. There’s been a lot of work lately. It’s not fair to you to deal with my problems.” He scoffs deeply, downing the rest of the glass and sets it on the table. 

“If this isn’t working for you, I understand.” 

“Oh? Are you suggesting a separation? Not even the gall to try and make it up to me?” he sneers. 

“You’re handsome and people like you. It’s not hard to find other options.” 

“If it’s not hard, why is the one thing I truly desire so difficult to hold? A petal drifting unpredictable wind, too quick to grasp.” He starts stalking towards you, relaxed but seemingly irritated. The contrast between his words and actions unnerves you. 

“How many times must I tell you to take care of yourself, to not let them walk over you, to come to me if you need help?” He gets to you and snakes his calloused hand behind your neck, a firm grip. Yearning lips are inches from yours, his hair tickles your eyelashes. 

“Why can’t you just listen to me, (Y/N)? Hmm?” He’s lenient, but you feel a shiver up your back and heat pooling in your stomach, nonetheless. 

“I’ll try harder. I promise.” you say, barely above a whisper. The pad of his thumb swirls your cheek. 

“I won’t entertain promises. Show me your dedication.” 

“What do I do to prove it?” A sadistic grin grows across his face, and lips graze your ear, sultry voice coiling around the shell. Your breath stalls. 

“Tonight, I’ll eat you up slowly-” Kaeya peppers soft kisses between the words against your jaw. “-savoring every. Little. Bite.” He trails down to your neck. You're melting in his hold, grabbing his robust arms for anything to stabilize you. "And when I’m picking you apart, and there’s tears in your eyes and you’re begging and you can’t take it anymore-” He drinks up your anticipation, an amused chuckle from the shudder prickling your skin.  

“-you’ll sit there and obey me until I'm done. Like a good pet.” 

You’re stripped of everything besides your underwear in front of the restlessly eager man. Standing in the center of this candlelit room, you feel miles away from him as he sits fully clothed on the edge of the bed. He’s lax, legs spread with a nonchalant posture; they invite you to kneel between them. Sex with Kaeya was never like this. Though infrequent, your back-alley blowjobs were done with kindness and haste. It was one thing for Kaeya to ogle your mouthwatering figure, another in the humiliating state he constrains you to. Your hands are bound by leather handcuffs that clip to a chunky black collar on both sides, limiting the movement of your wrists to just centimeters away from your face. You could move if you tried to, but the collar locked and tightened around your neck the harder you struggled. In the middle was attached a dangling leash, empty of its owner.  

The vibrating lace panties he put you in buzz agonizingly low against your clit, sending gentle bursts to the butt plug filling deep, foreign space in your body. You’re glutted, chafing your thighs together to numb the sweet ache dotting your core. 

“C’mere dove.” Kaeya orders, his finger curls in a guiding motion. You take one step assuming his entreat, and he retorts with a tut. 

“Aht aht, dogs don’t walk. Get on your knees and crawl to me.” Embarrassment overcomes you as you drop to your knees from the filthy demand. It’s degrading, having to crawl without the use of your arms. You scuffle with balance, and he takes pleasure in playing with the controller. Your rocking rear and wobbly legs find rhythm on the floor through the violent highs and lows of vibration. It was harder due to the position you stumbled in; the bullet teases you in the right spots. You finally reach him, resting your head on his knee, exhausted for what’s to come. He merely pats your head and uses the other to stifle the smug smirk. 

“Good puppy. Look at me.” Suddenly, he wraps the leash around his hand and pulls in taut. It snaps your eyes to his lustful expression, a thick aura that encapsulates you, suffocates you in his command. Kaeya zips his pants down to spring his throbbing cock free, a dark brown gradient to the mushroom tip.  

“Suck. If you let anything spill, I’ll punish you” he cooes. You lick the pre come away, fixating on the sensitive tip. His breathy sighs show appreciation. You lick in circular motions around it before lolling your tongue and taking all of him between your lips. His girth makes space in your mouth impossible until the head presses the back of your throat. “Ugh, fuck” he groans. Kaeya stands and pulls the leash towards him, enough to nuzzle your nose against his pubes. You gag and slobber over his balls from the constant pressure in your throat, and he keeps you there, watching the tears ball in your eyes, unfazed by your retching pleas. He keeps a firm grip on the back of your head.  

“Can you take it?” It’s almost mocking, as if he can’t see the mascara that smears your cheeks and your sweaty, breathless figure. You nod anyway, eager to please. He hums approval before pulling out completely and hammering his length down your throat. His heavy balls smack your chin at a savage pace, and strings of spit connect your puffy lips to his shaft. It’s barbaric and your throat is raw from the impact, but he chases his high. You’re absolutely powerless, your hands can’t even push his thighs back. However, subconsciously it felt nice, to be out of control, at the mercy of someone else using you for their impulse. The whir in your soaking panties feels richer now, tangling in your lower back and clouding your senses. All you smell and feel is him, it was like you never worked a day in your life. Like you were made for this, and this alone. Obscene noises come from your squelching mouth and Kaeya’s broken moans. Fuck and yes are all he can handle through constant whimpers, and you feel him trembling toward his release. He tilts your head to get a better view of you, spit and tears mixed with strands of hair stuck to your skin. You were a mess. But his eyes are solely on you, drenched in adoration and pure love for your trust in him.  

“I want this pretty face on me when I come” he whines and speeds up his thrusts before spurting hot, creamy ropes down your throat, painting your mouth white. He twitches wildly on your tongue till rest, and his guttural moans echo in your ears as you hollow your cheeks to suck him clean. A satisfying pop emerges when you free his tip, and he recollects himself. He somehow looks completely untouched, besides the sheen of sweat; the poise of a prince. 

Once Kaeya comes to his senses, he eyes the evidence of wetness that soaks through your panties, along with drops of pre come you failed to notice. Truthfully, you tried hard to avoid spilling anything, but the sensations in both your back and front were dizzying. He drawls a dramatic sigh, and loosely fiddles with the leash. 

“Didn’t I say not to spill anything?” His words are methodical, weaving enough vitriol to make your blood still at the upcoming punishment. “I’m sorr-” 

“You made a mess. Clean it.” He drops the leash and waits. What you assumed to be a towel clean-up was quickly refuted as you felt the tension of his boot press on your upper back. With just enough weight, he forces your body down towards the fluids, arms crossed. You lick it up without complaint. “Good puppy” he praises. 

Kaeya picks you up as if you’re featherlight and sets you on the edge of the bed on your stomach. You can’t see what he’s doing, and the silence frightens you. Immediately, the judder of the bullet increases significantly—not enough to make you come, but just enough to torment. You attempt to sway from undying heat between your legs, yet the static overtakes. Unbeknownst to you, the butt plug begins to vibrate, as well. You whine and arch your back involuntarily. You finally hear a deep chuckle from Kaeya. His fingers graze your sopping underwear. 

“So naughty, you got like this just from sucking me off?” He pushes the bullet harshly against you. You mewl from the feeling. “Please Kaeya, it’s too much.” 

“Shh, I know, I know. We still have a long way to go.” he soothes. He spreads your ass to reveal more area, and he’s hushed to an alluring whisper in your ear. “(Y/N). I’m going to spank you. And each time I do, you’ll count. One, thank you. Two, thank you. Up to sixteen. Understand?” 

“Yes” you rasped. 

“Good girl.” 

Kaeya massages your backside and prepares a slap. His palm crashes sharply on one with a resounding crack. Blazing surge sprawls across the whole cheek, but you manage to stay afloat. “One, thank you.” He promptly delivers another, a staggering strike to match the other cheek. “Two, thank you” you hissed. He kneads the smoldering dough in his hands and smiles at the juices stuck to your inner thighs. 

“Such a pervert. You’re not enjoying this, are you?” he teases. The lines of pleasure and pain blurred for you long before. The crackling fire of his hand swatting your ass makes you cry out. He’s brutal, and the grip you have on his sheets colors your knuckles white. You endure delicious thwacks with a tender bottom all the way through thirteen. Your malleable mind forgets to count past that, forgets your place. Kaeya feigns hurt. “Am I that forgettable? Should we start over?” A shudder trails down your back. 

“M’no, Kaeya ple-ase. ‘M sorry.” you stammer. He swipes your tears with his thumb and licks it. “I’m touched by your tears” he groans. He moves back to your searing bottom, digging crescent shaped indents into the welted flesh with his nails. 

“Do you know why I had you count to sixteen?” 

“N-no...” 

A low hmph. “That’s the number of dates you missed.” You go pale for a second. “It won’t happen again, Kaeya. Please!” you beg. The need for release ruins your rational thoughts, and he can taste your desperation. “Please what, dove?” He plays ignorance. “Tell me exactly what you want.” He caresses your face lovingly, despite his cruelty. 

“Wanna come, I need it so bad, Kaeya.” His name rolling off your tongue in lewd fervor makes his length constrict in his pants. You’re putty in his presence, and he delights in molding you to his wishes. 

"Are you worthy of it?" he taunts. Fresh tears brim your eyes, and he can’t fight back the snicker in his throat. He walks away from you, and you’re left alone until you feel the mattress give way under his knee. What little sight you had in front of you is robbed by the silky black blindfold pulling stiff on your eyes. “Too tight?” 

“A little.” He loosens it a bit and kisses your temple. Suddenly, a sphere makes contact with your lips, and you open. The ball gag secures around the back of your head, and you’re already salivating from the stretch of your jaw. 

“You know what, I’ll let you come.” he lulled. You can’t hear the malicious tinge in his words, and he swiftly turns both vibrators up to a harrowing speed at the same time. A strangled moan gets caught in your throat and you quiver and lurch over. He spanks your sore behind in response. 

“Keep your back arched. I want a perfect view” he husks. You use the stamina you have left to stay in that position. Your hips are unconsciously rutting against the bullet, and the ecstasy lapping at your swollen clit sends trails of fire up your stomach. Kaeya watches the saturated outline of your convulsing vulva, the honeyed, muffled moans unending and palms his erection.  

“I’m sorry, this must be so hard for you” he soothes. “Almost as hard as it was for me to hear you lie so blatantly.” Kaeya wasn’t a man that held grudges, but he took amusement in your reactions. All he can think about is breaking you, with each touch and kiss; so that you travel through heaven and hell, drowning in desire until he carries you out. Your eyes roll to the back of your head, and you come hard, hole fluttering around nothing with electricity squirming in your bones. However, the pressure doesn’t stop, it seems to vibrate faster as you buck and cry. “Oops, wrong setting.” He turns it up higher, the bastard. It rips through your orgasm, already approaching another and you can’t take the sting. “Tell me if it’s too much” he sneers. Your hands jolt and snap back to the collar.  

“I’ll turn it off later, I’m kind of busy right now. You know, work and stuff.” What? He wouldn’t leave you like this, right? Undecipherable noises bounce around the gag, but none persuade him. Footsteps get quieter, then the door shuts.  

You can’t look or beg for Kaeya, and tears begin to stain the blindfold. Buzzing roars in your ears, your limbs are too weak to hold up and you can barely breathe. Your thighs shake from sick passion, and you come undone again over the persistent toys. The twenty minutes he was gone felt like hours. Your muffled sobs are uncontrollable, come cascading down your legs and spit dribbles from your lips. You aren’t sure how many times you came before he got back.  

The Archons must have shown mercy; the vibrations stopped. You hear that suave voice resounding in your brain. 

“I think you’ve earned a break.” he says, freeing the panties from you. The plug steadily glides out of your pulsing ring, and he removes the blindfold. Kaeya is the first thing you see, and for a moment he shines like royalty. The gag comes off and you’re babbling Kaeya’s name over and over like a chant, a devoted disciple. He cradles your face and hushes you. 

“It’s okay, I’m here.” He flips you on your back. You’re in a daze gazing at him but his attention is lowered to your spread legs, slabbering at the slippery aftermath of his abandonment. 

“Beautiful. A living work of art” he whispered. His mask dissolves before you. He reaches for one of the red candles glowing vividly on his nightstand and returns with the wax-leaking stick. You share a soft kiss, warm and pure while he tilts the candle over your chest. He’s careful with the course and allows it to dance across your breasts, down your sternum and above your pelvis. Each crimson plop and fleck are its own singing thrill, but your awareness is diverted to his wanton kisses, the nips on your bottom lip. Heat reignites your core. Once he blows out the candle, he smudges French kisses down your neck, tracing the pattern of the wax to subdue the burn. “You’re flawless” he breaths against your nipple. He sucks one while pinching the other, the occasional bite on your slightly bruising skin makes you wince. He slides off the bed and starts stripping with an insatiable thirst that longed to be inside you, shirt and pants thrown about. In one swoop, he grabs your thighs and pulls you to the edge.  

“If I uncuff you, will you behave?” You nod frantically with the clinking metal, and he detaches the restraints. He brings your legs over his shoulder, and you feel the cockhead prodding your slit. Kaeya sinks his tip into you, and you’re suddenly overcome with frenetic throbbing that ripples through your hypersensitive clit. “W-wait, Kaeya-” You don’t have nearly enough strength to protest when you grab his wrists settled on your waist—he’s determined to fuck it out of you. “Mm, just a little more” He’s craving, his veins rub your walls all the way to the base. With his balls flush, he pulls out and drives into you. The first pump sends a flaming shock through your body, an abyssal fall you succumb to. You can’t register the erotic screams or pleasant shock of Kaeya as a stream of liquid coats your bodies and drenches the sheets. Your hysterical sobs and innocent sorry’s are music to his ears, better than any melody in Teyvat. He rubs circles on your lower belly and starts again at an unrelenting pace. “I-I can’t Kaeya, ‘m coming so hard.” you wail, writhing from the deep strokes coaxing your g-spot. Your stomach quakes and you grip him like a vice, he can’t stop the feral urge. “Fuck- aww, sweetie. I know, I know. Can you do another one, for me?” He tries to keep his composure, but his voice is bordering unhinged, dying to see you squirt again. Kaeya's chest pins yours and he pummels your cunt with your shaky legs locked around him. Your nails latch onto his back and you weep into his shoulder. The emotion is too intense; your heart thrums viciously in your ears.  

“You’re my pretty little fuck toy, hmm?” he stutters through thrusts. “Just lay here and take my cock. Quit your job. Be mine entirely.” Loud plap’s accompany his silent plea, and you feel another orgasm boiling. His palm pressing on your womb makes you incoherent and he chuckles. “Aw sweetie, it feels too good?” he mocks. You touch foreheads. You’re both teeming, waiting for each other. “Give it to me. Come on my cock like a good slut” he demands. Wave after relentless wave splinters you, and the gushing sprinkler covers him exactly like he wanted. Kaeya moans at the sight. “Shit, ‘m coming.” He pursues his sputtering hips, shooting thick globs that greedily crowd your sex.  

Kaeya breathes heavily as he comes down from his peak twitching inside. You still tremble sporadically in his arms. He rubs your back, placing calming kisses all over your face. “You alright, pretty girl?” You’re edging on unconsciousness. He stays with you until you gather responsiveness.  

When you wake, the collar is off, and you identify concern in his eyes. “You weren't this scared when you were killing me” you murmur quietly. Kaeya flashes a genuine smile. “If you died from good sex, that’d be quite the compliment on my part.” He props you into his lap facing him, and you're reposed on his chest. He pats your hair, staring off into nothing and everything. 

“I’d much rather have you in pieces. Because I’m the only one that can put you back together.” It was a passing thought, one that shouldn’t be said out loud. It churns in your gut, and you aren’t sure why. 

“You worked so hard today. Let’s take a bath, okay?” 

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

A 2024 Film List

At first, I thought I could do a regular top 10 film list for 2024, but after a reconsideration, I realized it's not really possible.

First, I stopped logging every movie that I've watched. I used a mubi account, I don't have letterboxd and it felt like a chore. I regret it slightly, but nothing can be done about it now.

What I will do is to stick to films released in 2024 and to which I had access to this year. That means that I won't include The Brutalist, Queer or Babygirl, etc., as I haven't watched them yet.

It is also a list that includes well-known titles. This year has been one in which my desire to explore unknown areas of cinema dwindled significantly. But this is not the post in which I ponder about what the reasons might be.

This is the list of significant films watched in 2024 that made a notable impression, in no particular order.

Conclave (dir. Edward Berger)

I doesn't fill in the gap left by The Young Pope, nor it captures the absolute camp and absurdity of the Vatican world, but it comes close nevertheless. It has the intrigue to capture anyone's attention and the good acting from veteran actors that can deliver a memorable performance.

All of Us Strangers (dir. Andrew Haigh)

I remember how much I had to wait to be able to watch this, but it finally paid off. Andrew Scott should have won a lot more awards for it and he is such a sensible actor who can portray a man dealing with depression and loss and how it shapes one person forever.

Maria (dir. Pablo Larrain)

This film is for fans of Larrain's trilogy of films made about 20th century notable women. It's for those who want to see a more than decent comeback of Angelina Jolie. It's for those who like Maria Callas and could pair it with another documentary about her that came out in recent years. It's for those who would like to see a fictional incursion into 70s Paris without anything looking like a theme park.

La Chimera (dir. Alice Rohrwacher)

This was perhaps the only one which made me think of european art cinema in the most obvious way. From the story, to how it was directed, but most importantly, to the cinematography. It is a meditation on art and our relation to it, but also a nod to mid-century Italian directors.

Anora (dir. Sean Baker)

I did have some higher expectations from Anora, simply considering its Palme d'Or win. It might leave my mind the moment award season will be over, but in the context of an American cinema that produces less and less good mainstream films, Anora stands out. Adding a comedic tone helped in moving away from the usual stereotypes associated with a certain nationality and something fresh, considering that American film and tv still focuses on only a villain/spy archetype.

The Apprentice (dir. Ali Abbasi)

To this day I condemn Variety and anyone who refused to have a one on one talk with Sebastian Stan because it would have touched on the topic of The Apprentice. Not just because it is ultimately a work of fiction which should not impose any problem, but particularly because of its subject matter. Evil and in this case, an examination of its origins and what made that man who he is, is something that should not be ignored. Instead, it needs to be addressed head on. It needs to be understood and The Apprentice did it. Perhaps it tried too much in the span of 2 hours, but I admire the attempt. And Jeremy Strong once again proved its calibre.

The Substance (dir. Coralie Fargeat)

Was it too on the nose? Yes. Is this a theme explored in so many movies with a feminist twist? Yes.

But it was fun, it was well made, it brought a dose of body horror for us fans who are lacking in any new Cronenberg film. And it was also fascinating for me to see Demi Moore back with such a role.

Longlegs (dir. Oz Perkins)

It includes a serial killer with a supernatural twist, of course this film would be on my list. I don't particularly seek out horror fiction, but it's a nice surprise whenever something really good comes out. And Nicolas Cage had a unforgettable part, as one of the scariest antagonists that I've seen in years.

Trap (dir. M. Night Shymalan)

This might seem like a really odd choice, considering all the other films on the list. But I do want to point out that even in the case of a film with faults in its script, unrealistic scenarios or characters, it can still be a fun viewing experience. It is ridiculous, like many of Shyamalan's movies, but I do think the backlash against Trap has also been over the top. I loved seeing Josh Hartnett behave like the worst serial killer, making the dumbest mistakes, but also getting away with it every single time!

Red Rooms (dir. Pascal Plante)

This was the only horror film that actually had a deep, visceral impact on me and which made me feel uncomfortable long after it ended. A psychological horror that doesn't show much of the actual atrocities that had happened, but its impact comes from the examination of fangirls obsessed with serial killers, but also of those who lack any sort of empathy and whose fascination with such criminals borders a very problematic line.

Special Mentions

There are three films in the special mentions category. Their inclusion has nothing to do with my opinion regarding their value or if I enjoyed them or not. It has to do with the fact that they stood out due to their directors commitment to do something different through cinematic language. Not just for the sake of it, but because it served their stories and their vision about cinema as an art.

1. Megalopolis (dir. Francis Ford Coppola)

2. Emilia Perez (dir. Jacques Audiard)

3. Do Not Expect Too Much From The End of The World (dir. Radu Jude)

[jayinserenity]

So, @wyrm-clangen's recent moons have been living rent free in my head, and as the #1 Seedgorse fan I needed to write something about him in all of the recent sadness. So Wyrm, here's that thing I asked for notes for.

Seedgorse woke slowly, he'd finally managed to doze off for a bit once he'd gotten Stemkit to stop fussing and sleep. He was grateful, once again, for their clan's tunnels and the ability to keep everyone warm throughout the harshness of leaf bare. Rainmask and his patrol had come back from the last patrol reporting storm clouds moving in fast. Riftstar had set the healthy warriors to work preparing for a possible blizzard, those who weren't already working on the quarantine tunnel. 

Shifting in his nest slowly, he blinked his eyes open and tried his best to avoid waking the ball of kits curled against him. As he blinked the sleep from his eyes he felt a fond smile blooming on his face as he looked down at his litter. Little Owlkit, his quietest, was snuggled up with Larchkit, her sister's muzzle pressed tight into Owlkit's neck fur while Stemkit had wrapped herself around Larchkit, tucked between his tail and her sister's back. 

Wait

Seedgorse bolted upright, suddenly fully awake, not concerned with how Stemkit woke with an upset mewl and the whole litter was suddenly in an uproar, waking Marcy, Turtlefreckle and several of their kits. But none of that mattered because Where was Timberkit?

“Seedgorse? Honey you look terrified what’s wrong?” Marcy’s voice was still creaky with sleep as she tried to fully come to wakefulness. Turtlefreckle turned from his own litter at her words, and Seedgorse met his gaze and saw a spark of his own fear in them.

“Timberkit isn’t here.” 

“Neither is Pricklekit.” He stood then, brushing his tail over his daughters comfortingly as he moved from their nest. Behind him he heard the older kits fussing.

“Oh stars where are Heron or Burdock!” Marcy bolted out of her nest, her and Nightkits’ voices joining the cacophony but Seedgorse was out of the tunnel then. The commotion had alerted Swiftstream on guard duty.

“Problem?”

“Some of the kits are missing- my daughter is missing-” The younger warrior’s hackles raised and the tom was moving in an instant, bolting into the warriors den to wake the rest of the clan. Within heartbeats Riftstar was in the main den organizing search patrols. Wheatpaw and the other healthy apprentices were already scouring every nook and gap they could find in the tunnels, searching for any hiding spot. Daisypaw, mask in place, was standing at the edge of the quarantine tunnel talking to a harrowed looking Fiercechasm, relaying to the rest of the ill cats to check their tunnel thoroughly. Turtlefreckle and Marcy had the kits gathered, asking them if they’d seen where their sisters had gone, or knew anything. Any possible answer for what could be happening. He couldn’t believe it, he’d only fallen asleep once the whole litter had been sleeping. Timberkit had been sound asleep-

“Seedgorse.” He startled from his… he wasn’t sure what to call it, a daze? Shock? Whatever it was, Riftstar’s voice was gentle, and his eyes held worry as he looked at Seedgorse. “The search patrols are getting ready to go out. Fogtail, Marcy, Fidgetpaw, Icypaw and Rookrise are watching the kits, Fidgetpaw will keep them busy and you know the others would rather die than lose another. Do you want to stay and watch them or-”

“I need to find her.” Riftstar didn’t look surprised, merely nodded solemnly and lead the way to the exit tunnel. Stepping out into the storm that had descended, Seedgorse saw his littermates, Frostprance and Sprucepaw waiting for them and several rapidly disappearing trails of pawprints. Riftstar didn’t need to give the order for the patrol to fan out. They paired up and the pairs stayed withing sight or sound of one another as they started to search. 

Heartbeats turned to minutes, turned to hours as Seedgorse and Riftstar searched. Silent but for an occasional call for any of the missing kits. He could faintly hear Bea and Water doing the same. But with every passing moment the dread wrapping around his heart tightened further and further. The weather was getting worse, the light sprinkle of snow merging with a driving freezing rain as a proper blizzard threatened to envelope the patrol, Star the territory, entirely. 

But the dark had descended on them, Riftstar called a halt, gathering the patrol in a copse of pines near the edge of the Twolegplace. Seedgorse’s entire body was on alert being so close to the creatures again, and he fought every hair on his pelt not to think about his poor little Timberkit being in one of those metal nests. Having those hairless paws on his baby.

“We need to return to camp.” Riftstar’s voice was raw when the patrol finally all gathered, and Seedgorse whipped around on the older tom in fury.

“What?!”

“Seedgorse-” He faintly heard Beaverfleck mew behind him but he was already looming over Riftstar. The elderly leader didn’t rise from where he sat, merely watched as Seedgorse stalked closer.

“Are you suggesting we just, what, go home? Snuggle back up in our warm nests while our kits are out here freezing to death?!” He snarled, feeling the start of tears prickling at the edge of his eyes and trying to harness the rage to avoid the desperate fear trying to overwhelm him. But then Riftstar looked up and met his eyes, and that rage was replaced by surprise at the sheer hopelessness in his leader’s eyes. Since he was a kit Riftstar had always had hope. Even when he spoke of his lost mate, he hadn’t seemed this helpless. 

“Seed, please.” Frostprance’s voice was soft when she broke the silence, he faintly noticed Riftstar turning away, hiding the tears in his own eyes, as he turned back to the rest of the patrol. Beaverfleck’s tears were visible, ready to fall, looking like she couldn’t figure out if she should go to him or not. Waterstep, while not crying like their sister, was visibly devastated, and that same helplessness he saw in Riftstar was reflected in his brother. Frostprance, their sister in all but blood, was sitting, her tail wrapped close around a shivering Sprucepaw, and while she looked calmer than any of them, it wasn’t hard to see past it to the heartbreak. Sprucepaw looked terrified, shivering from the cold as well as the fear as he tucked closer to the warrior. 

“Seed, we won’t find her like this. I’m so sorry.” Frostprance’s words were gentle, but it was the final stone removed from the pile. All of the emotions he’d been trying to mask with rage tumbled through Seedgorse and the tears started to fall. He felt himself start to sob as his siblings, his leader, and Sprucepaw clustered around him. They’d return to camp later, and Seedgorse would have to explain to his remaining daughters that he didn’t know where their sister was, didn’t know if they’d ever see her again. But for this moment, all he could do was lean into his brother, tuck his face into Beaverfleck’s fluffy neck fur, damp with her own tears, and let Frostprance and Riftstar gently groom him as he let the utter and complete devastation wash through him. 

[ir-abelas-vhenan]

Did Someone Say Running Back to Fiction to Cope??

It's probably safe to call this Me Losing My Mind over Veilguard 5/??

One of the things upsetting me the absolute most is no mention from the Inquisitor about Varric's death. Perhaps the most integral storytelling mechanism and all around champion of reluctant heroes has been taken away from us, and one of the people he was closest to doesn't feel even a little compelled to discuss him with his apprentice?

I'm still a little dumbfounded, clearly.

Even if we as fans didn't deserve better, Varric deserved better. I've always believed that the better the character, the better a death they deserve when it's their time to go.

So anyways. In my smooth pea brain, I can't reconcile a world in which Lavellan shows up with her unconditional love blazing without first confronting and resolving the fact that her love has led to the death of one of her closest friends. So it's back to the drawing (writing?) board to soothe my disappointed soul.

I saw a version of Varric's letter to a Solas-mancing Lavellan that was datamined and ran with it.

One: All the Words Unwritten

Charter,

Yes, the trail went cold, but we haven’t entirely lost it. Solas left us a little farewell note. So I’m not giving up just yet. Maybe it’s gullible of me, but I know the Inquisitor feels the same: Solas isn’t too far gone to save. And she’d never forgive me if I didn’t try. But I don’t think I’m wrong here. Solas didn’t have to warn me and Harding off the chase when he could’ve killed us like the others who came after him. I don’t think he wants to do this. So, I’m taking the chance. Tell the Inquisitor…tell her I’ll bring him back.

—Varric

Her first tear spatters onto the parchment. The final sentence becomes an ink-stained massacre, and she throws it far away before she can lose any more of the handwriting she’ll never again see waiting for her above the seal representing his best friend’s house. Her palms bite into the unsanded wood, welcoming the bite of pain as she shoves back from the recovered tree stump she’s been using as a desk.

“Inquisitor.”

Morrigan’s voice doesn’t register, hardly rises over the sound of blood rushing through her ears like an open wound. Gods, wrong comparison . But there it is, playing out against the darkness of her eyelids every time she blinks to try and stem the flow of more tears. The wound in Varric’s chest, gushing with no one to hold pressure over it, to ensure the rise and fall of his sternum until help could arrive, no one to watch his back because the woman who did it best is no longer able to. This too, is her fault, and there has hardly been a conversation in the years that followed where she hasn’t looked into Varric’s quieter, sadder eyes and wanted to beg him for a forgiveness she knows he’d have frowned at her for needing. 

It had been her job to keep him safe now, her promise to Hawke that the choice to become another martyred hero in Ferelden’s bloody history wasn’t in vain. And here was the proof at last that she was every inch the fantasy-addled fool bards wrote about when inspiration ran dry. Here was the proof that her hope was a mantle, weighing down everyone around her until there was nothing left but blurred ink and bloodstained pages in the famed Inquisitor Lavellan’s wake. 

[wc-confessions]

Alright I have a feeling this might get some people mad but I think it might need to be said, I think some people in this fandom are getting a little too...I guess "restrictive" (for lack of a better word) on what others ship. I'm all for pointing out a ship is weird or gross but I think people are getting a little silly about it

(Disclaimer: NO, IM NOT A PROSHIPPER, I ACTUALLY THINK THAT STUFF IS PRETTY NASTY)

In any other fandom, doing shit like shipping cousins (of any kind) would be weird, but this is Warrior Cats and literally nobody can keep track of who is who's cousin or aunt or distantly related half-nephew or whatever. It especially gets me when the characters are only related through some family tree bs and most people wouldn't even know they're related in the first place

As for ages, most people apply the logic that if the characters met while one was an adult and the other wasn't, then it's weird. Which I can mostly agree with, but the issue is that it makes a whole lot of ships supposedly weird

(Although I think one thing we can all agree on is that mentor x apprentice ships are odd. Get out of here OneWhite and TinySparrow)

Y'know what here's some examples of ships that would supposedly be weird to ship in the fandom's eyes if we apply all of this:

TawnyFeather (second cousins)

BrackenSorrel (Brackenfur has his warrior name by the time Sorreltail is born)

MothPool (substantially interacted while Leafpool was still young)

IvyFern (like, third cousins?? And Ivypool was a warrior before Fernsong was even born)

BreezeHeather (Second cousins?? Retcons made Ashfoot and Onestar siblings)

BlossomThorn (like a 6 year age gap where they were in the same clan)

WhistleFrost (Whistlepaw got the Whitewing treatment and is around Splashtail's age)

Does anyone see a problem??

My point is that Warriors has such a strange way of doing things and pairing cats together that almost every ship is gonna have something strange going on. I think there are lines to be drawn (for example everyone knows that Cloudtail and Squirrel are cousins so shipping them would be weird), but if not even a character knows who they're related to and ends up marrying their first cousin then how are the fans supposed to care

This also applies to ships that would literally never work out in canon but could have an interesting dynamic, like DarkTiger (yes guys, I know that they're first cousins and Darkstripe was his apprentice-but keep in mind that those are both re-connect as hell and never even mentioned in book. I'm pretty sure most people think of it as a one-sided thing anyways) or HawkMud or fucking OneFire or whatever

I have a lot to say but that's the gist of it. These things have nuance, especially in a series like this where everybody is related and nobody even knows it or characters age kinda weird

.

[bonefall]

Can you tell us more about your plans to add more cat behavior in the BB rewrite??

First of all, patrolling is getting an overhaul!

There are now four patrols a day; Dawn, Noon, Dusk, and Night. This is based on the big change that BB Cats are crepuscular, meaning they are most active at dawn and twilight.

Dawn and Dusk patrols are the desired ones, unlike canon where Dawn Patrol is a chore. That's when everyone is awake! Noon is DREADED, because that's naptime. And Night? That's the most dangerous one, reserved for strong warriors.

Elders now also need to go on daily patrols, assigned as an apprentice task. I'm going to be tasteful about it, but there's something important about marking; that is urine.

The old cats NEED to go on patrols for their mental and physical help, especially toms. This leads into...

There are now some gender roles and expectations to go along with my transgender and queer cats. Contrast to canon where it just kinda ignores gender outside of snide "Ugh! Other gender!" remarks while still accidentally including a glass ceiling, lmao.

IN-UNIVERSE, there are 3 cultural genders. Molly (Yaow), Tom (Ssuf), and Gib (Meewa). There are queer cats with different relationships to these than what is socially expected.

Molly (Yaow) Behaviors:

Aggression and protectiveness. The "Motte" of a tom cat's "Bailey." This is based on how female cats tend to be more cautious and less likely to wander.

Building. Fixing dens, fortifying defenses, and other camp-construction behaviors.

Assertiveness. They are socialized to be more vocal and voice their opinions more than male cats.

Tom (Ssuf) Behaviors:

Curiosity and wanderlust, plus border aggression. This is based on how male cats travel further distances and mark territory more than females.

Playfulness and neediness. It is expected that tom cats ironically need more social stimulation than mollies, related to how they aren't supposed to ask.

Passivity. They are socialized to not argue as much as their molly and gib counterparts, and be less involved in drama.

Gib (Meewa) Behaviors:

Wisdom. This is because of heavy association with Gray Wing the Wise.

Compassion and social aptitude. They are expected to do more emotional labor than the other two.

Patience and tolerance. They are seen as hardy and dedicated, with more focus on long-term projects like land management and crafts.

So I'm taking the freedom now to try and give this culture a unique sense of gender, while still trying to include the joyous and irreverent way us queer WC fans just like seeing ourselves in the cats.

And lastly! More social behaviors related to real cats.

Cats sleep for 15 hours a day. Clan cats are considered "busy bees" for ONLY averaging 13 hours.

So there's now social naps. This is IDEAL sneak-out time, but you are expected to doze off with your clanmates in the middle of the day unless you have an assignment (the detested noon patrol...)

Allogrooming. The prevention of knots and mats is a social responsibility, everyone stays clean. Sharing Tongues is back and more important than ever.

Sparring. A formalized way to express play fights, and sharpen fighting skills while you're at it.

Something about scratching, but I haven't worked it out yet! I want the cats to have some kind of ritual related to this.

[dead-freight]

was tagged by @futuristicdoormats789 to list 9 books i want to read in 2025! i don't know if i'll have all 9 for you... longtime fans will tell you that mech is a terrible reader. i started house of leaves a year and a half ago and still haven't finished it. but i'll put down a list of the books on my nightstand that i'm hoping to get around to soon lmao.

House of Leaves (in progress) - yeah i'm still working on this one. i love it but i fell off last year during the summer and i really need to pick it back up.

Assassin's Apprentice (in progress) - literally the exact same story with this one T_T

Madhouse at the End of the Earth - i was so excited about this one. i bought it and it's been sitting here next to my keyboard for about a week. this one got talked about at terror camp and all the terrors seem to love it so i plan to start it SOON but i'm fighting against myself about that. anyway

May We Be Spared to Meet on Earth

The North Water - somebody mentioned this in TESS months ago and it stuck in my memory as a title i wanted to have... i don't know anything about it i'll be real with you. but i have it now and it's on my list.

This Is How You Lose the Time War

Fahrenheit 451 - trying to read some of those more well-known classic literature books. saw it at the bookstore and felt compelled.

uhh i'm bad at tagging people so if you see this feel free to do it and tag me but @wolffwood @monstroe1izasue @wormsinperil @thepaleelf i'm curious if any of yall have a list... no pressure tho <3

[rileyclaw]

Hii! First off i just want to I'm such a big fan of your art and animatics! Your art is just so expressive and unique its addicting to look at 💞💞

I was wondering if you could go over how your process or tutorial in making an animatic? Whenever I try to start to make one, I get jumbled up and end up ditching it lol

I'm sorry if you get this question a lot 😭

So sorry it took me so long to answer this- I was in a Busy time (diseaseridden with covid and being punched by finals) when I got the ask and wanted to answer it with some stuff Im using for my next TOH animatic!!

I'll say one thing first: I get jumbled up and ditch so many animatics. For every one animatic I release, there are three to five more I have that have NEVER seen the light of day (yet). And that's okay!! It's fun just to make them for me, and I hope it is for you too!! Animatics are scary because if you're working on it alone, it can be really hard to be your own cheerleader to keep up the mojo to keep going. So that makes it really special when there is that project that makes it to the finish line- cuz you can look at it and go "holy crap I made this. holy crap i MADE that look how SICK that is dude!! all that work and look at the turnout!!"

The following stuffh is just my personal process and is by no means representative of a professional animation pipeline, but this works for me as a Lonely Artist! It all begins with the idea - whether it's a song, or just a story you wanna tell. In the case of the one I'm gonna demo here with , I wanted to animate Hunter's first day as Del's apprentice!

The first thing I did was write a script. Not fancy or AO3-quality, but enough that I understand the pacing and the visuals of each shot. I usually just put this in a doc or put it in a script format, if I feel fancy.

Then, I take that script and find music that I think would fit for it- and remix it (if needed) to fit the pacing/mood/etc! This is what this new animatic looked like before I began ANY artwork- this is a me thing because I'm super inspired by audio as opposed to visuals first. But you might be different- this is just how I like working personally!

Then begins the research! I find references for characters, background layouts, and create a style guide for the animatic that tells me how thick lines will be for characters, backgrounds, if there'll be tons of value or no. I make a turnaround for each character so I can refer to them because Im gonna be drawing them over and over a LOT and want to be consistent! Luckily TOH has no shortage of references, so I based my work off them.

THEN, I can begin drawing. I'm a little,,, (a lot) ADHD and may not always do this process, but if you're new to animatics or daunted by the task at hand, make beat boards of the entire project.

This is just a page of rough thumbnails that get your visual idea down - look how rough and quick these are!! I try not to spend over a minute on each beat board if I dont have to, unless it's a particularly complex shot.

When it gets to the stage where you're ready to begin the actual scenes, I personally tend to do backgrounds first because I like to set characters into backgrounds - and for every animatic, I have the Awkward Blue Sketch Stage which is basically my beat boards timed out as an animatic.

I used Storyboard Pro for this (Toonboom, not free ): icky), but the process can be replicated across most art platforms in whichever way you feel most comfy with! This is so I can time the drawings before I devote time cleaning them up-- which can make for some Pretty Funny looking little guys but theyre important!! trust!!

Once a big sequence of shots is cleaned up (I usually do 40-60 second chunks at a time), I export the .mov and send it to my editing program (which in this case is still Premiere Pro) - and then repeat this process again and again until.. it's done??

Here's like a TL;DR list of basically everything I said summed up:

• Make a loose script or bulletin of the idea! Do your research!

• Depending on what kind of animatic you're making, time it to music!

• Make a beat board of very loose gestures for your shots, and time them - then move on to refinement & cleanup!

• Combine all shots, refine music cues and timings, add any last needed VFX, and export!

There's no secret recipe or anything, it's just learning a pipeline that best suits you, whether it is for something professional or something you want to make for fun because you just love to make!!

[octuscle]

I'm 21 and working on building sites. It's a really hard job but school wasn't my favourite. I'd likte to work with my hands. Sometimes we're working besides or in direct view of these big advertising boards seeing the young models for calvin kline, tommy hilfiger and so on. Then I dream to be a model myself like them. Ok, it's not working with my hands but withy body. Is there a chronivac model agency helpping me change my job?

Well… I'll see what I can do… I mean, you don't look bad… But I'll see what I can do.

When you look at the big billboard across from the construction site the next morning, you can't help but reach into your pants and massage your cock. Fuck, the guy in the photo is already an extremely handsome guy. A bit smooth, a bit effeminate. But he certainly gets every chick. And every guy. Fuck, that makes you so horny. You need to jerk off urgently on the porta-potty. But now to work. And if you don't work, at least drive the apprentices. The job as foreman has its advantages. If need be, you can let others do your work.

During your lunch break, you can get a salad at the deli around the corner. And a large mineral water. And after lunch, you do a few pull-ups on a scaffold. The other guys here could really do more for themselves. Only hard work does not form a perfect body. And smoking and drinking beer don't help at all. Anyway, it's not your business. Everyone as he wants.

After work you go to the pool. It's just part of your daily routine. Relaxes the body. Challenges your body. Shapes your body. And since you don't usually get to it in the morning before work, you shave after your hour of freestyle swimming and apply body lotion to your body. You save the styling of your hair. Just a hair treatment. You will now eat a bowl and drink two liters of water. And then to bed. Eight hours of sleep is your minimum.

You start your next working day with a selfie. In the morning there is no dust on your skin. That's how your followers like you. A little bit the guy from the construction site, a little bit the dreamy boy. Before you even put your phone back in your pocket, you have two dozen likes. And a scolding from your foreman. Maybe the diva can lend a hand. They're real rednecks. Somehow you don't belong here.

During your lunch break, you go through your messages. Strike! An invitation to a casting. Your big dream comes true. This is your ticket to the red carpet to the world of the rich and beautiful. But first you have to raise a wall. You are still dreaming your dream.

The next morning you ask yourself whether you should have learned a real job. Get up at 4:00 a.m., an hour at the gym, and at 6:00 a.m. the first photo shoot. You have to laugh at yourself. What kind of real job should you be doing? You have everything you always wanted. Living in hotels and airports. Tons of followers and fans. You're booked solid for the next 14 months.

But sometimes it's really exhausting to be yelled at by a photographer in the morning sun, to finally look a little bit dreamier. But what won't you do for $1,000 an hour?

[thatawkwardmoth]

Ideally, if Scott and Emma had kids in the main comics, would you want Megan and Ruby to co-exist? Or do you consider them similar enough to be multiversal variants of the same person, a Cable/X-man or Hope Pym/Nadia Van Dyne situation. I tend to lean toward option 2, but it would be interesting to see them try to get along in option 1.

(But also writers need to remember Emma's actual original surrogate daughter, the Hellion Catseye. She's both a daughter and a cat, which is peak cuteness. She should get a chance to hang out with her posh cuckoo sisters and/or help her mom troll her current stepdad Tony.)

(P.P.S. Emma and the Cuckoos need to meet Tony's AI daughter Friday.)

I want them to coexist. Scott Summers is meant to be a girl dad, he's meant to have a large family. I love Megan, Ruby, Megan's siblings (the one named Alex goes straight to my heart, he and his brother might fight a lot but he loves Havok so much), all of them. Emma is meant to be a mom and not in the way where it's like "she's not fulfilled until she's a mom". Her biggest fear was turning out like her father (the way she acted with the Hellions and getting them killed, the small thought she had where she was like 'im just like him'). With Megan and Ruby both, their stories boast about an understanding mother, one who was caring. She was the White Queen to everyone else but she was the mom Hazel Frost never was. Attentive, caring, not just focused on image and perfection.

Like how she is with the Cuckoos. She's a little awkward because they're teenagers but multiple times she's seen worrying about them, caring about their feelings. When they didn't return home from the first Hellfire Gala when it was sunrise, when they approached her about becoming the new White Queen, when Esme told her about her and Nathan's relationship and she helped her through that.

And Catseye being overlooked is really annoying. Because they pulled this Emma and Kate like Emma has always had her eye on Kitty being her apprentice, even though they butt heads a lot in older comics. Catseye probably wouldn't have been made Red Queen but maybe someone on Emma's team of people at Hellfire HQ.

I honestly loved the things they did with Empath still working for Emma while with the newer Hellions team. She still cares about them obviously. They're all alive on Krakoa, there is a scene where Empath is being yelled at by them because he let Sinister use their team name.

I personally am not a big fan of the Tony Stark/Emma Frost thing. I enjoyed it when it was a fling but Emma is a strong fighter for mutant rights. AVX and the other superhero teams reactions (FF4) to Krakoa were very revealing, showing how the Avengers viewed mutants and mutantkind having another nation. Tony Stark can say he's sorry a lot but it doesn't change the fact that Emma canonically holds grudges, she's always waiting for a way to get you back. They're cute together but only if you ignore the countless times Avengers have slandered the mutants, even when having mutants on their team.

Meeting Friday would be adorable, I will admit.

Anyway, I'm rambling and frazzled from work so this might not make sense.

[idyllic-affections]

got a junior herbalist idea for you :3

Baizhu overheats EASILY, aka basically whenever he leaves the pharmacy in hot weather. The longer he spends out there the more he slowly loses energy (Changsheng joked it was like an 'energy broth'. Put him in the sun and it all evaporates. Baizhu sighed heavily.)

the junior herbalist has a similar weak constitution, so same thing. Baizhu & herbalist have to pay the same price for overheating: becoming absolutely exhausted/sleepy.

in the rare cases the whole gang has to go out for something, especially in hot weather, Baizhu and the herbalist immediately crash once getting back to the pharmacy and get herded into the back room with some fans. peek in 5 minutes later and they're both completely out, sleeping the afternoon away. (if both are okay w/ it and not sticky, sometimes they'll cuddle a little.)

heat exhaustion.

summary. the heat drains is very draining for the majority of those who work at bubu pharmacy.

trigger & content warnings. depictions of heat exhaustion and references to heat stroke.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff, comfort. baizhu & reader. 0.9k words. they/them pronouns for reader.

author's thoughts. REAL OMG I GET LIKE THIS, EXTREME HEAT LITERALLY SAPS ALL MY ENERGY WITHIN THE HOUR. I FEEL LIKE A FUCKING CORPSE IN THE HEAT. i relate so bad..... i know EXACTLY what this is like so i RAN to do this request when you sent it HSJSHSKGJG im working on your dain req btw <33

i like to think that summer is every bubu pharmacy employee's least favorite season. gui dislikes it because he knows everyone else finds the heat tough to deal with, whereas baizhu and [name] hate it because it means they'll both be more likely to be out of commission, given how inclined they are to overheating.

qiqi also overheats, so she dislikes the summer for that same reason. she hates the feeling of being hot. she hates overheating. since she's a zombie, it's just... very uncomfortable and, in some cases, even painful for her. it stresses her out.

it stresses everyone out, really.

the pharmacy's atmosphere tends to be a little more frantic and tense during the summer as everyone tries to stay on top of their respective bodily conditions.

due to the collective struggle with heat, it isn't uncommon for trips out of the pharmacy during the day to be reduced to a minimum. qiqi can't handle gathering herbs when the temperature gets a bit too high, even with her cryo vision, so it's typically left to gui to do tasks like that while the sun is up. he doesn't mind it much at all.

he's not quite as sensitive to the heat as everyone else, so it's hardly an issue for him.

sometimes, however, going out during the day can't be helped. even when the weather is poor, leaving most of the pharmacists in equally poor condition, people still get sick and injured. that's the unfortunate truth.

sometimes emergency trips need to be made. high-priority house calls, herb gathering... some situations cannot be avoided, and given that [name] virtually always comes along with baizhu on house calls to gain experience and knowledge...

yeah.

it's not exactly uncommon for one or both of them to come back nearly ridden with heat stroke. heat exhaustion is a common result of such outings, which could become heat stroke if both aren't careful.

baizhu would certainly, 100% give them the option to opt out of house calls during the summer—they may be his apprentice, yes, but he would never force them into situations that would put their health or safety at serious risk, and there's plenty of other things they could do back at the pharmacy that wouldn't put them at such a high risk—but they wouldn't want him to have to go out in the heat alone, so they'd go with him regardless.

he downright refuses take them on house calls too far outside of liyue harbor in extremely hot weather, though.

(he also very rarely goes anywhere too far from the city during the summer, and the citizens of liyue are generally very understanding of the reason behind that. if he absolutely has to, however, he literally won't allow [name] to come along because of the serious risk it poses to their wellbeing.)

it's really just a learning process more than anything.

each pharmacist needs to learn where exactly their own limit is. it takes time and practice.

sometimes [name] overestimates their own ability. even so... they're certainly more skilled at working with their body rather than against it compared to how they were before their employment.

nonetheless, heat exhaustion is still a common and expected ailment at bubu pharmacy.

With tired, slightly uncoordinated fingers, they unclipped all of their unnecessary accessories, shedding anything they possibly could. They sat with their legs crossed on the bed often used for both the pharmacists' and patients' recovery needs. Anything that could make their body temperature higher, any unnecessary layers of their clothing, had to go. Given how exhausted they already were from the heat... they were at a considerable risk for heat stroke. There simply wasn't room for the extra cosmetic things when the weather was so unbearably hot.

The backroom of Bubu Pharmacy was thankfully rather cool with consideration for the dreadful heat outside. The air was pleasantly chilling against the festering heat beneath their feverish skin. They sighed, rubbing the inner corner of one of their eyes with their fingertips, as if to rub the tiredness away. It did nothing to help their state.

"It's way too hot this summer..."

"You didn't have to come along, [Name]," Baizhu mused, reassuring as he settled beside them, "I would have understood if you wanted to stay behind. It is rather hot this year."

"No, I know," they replied gently, interrupted halfway through by a yawn, "but I would have felt kind of bad if I didn't. I like helping people."

He softly tapped their shoulder, signalling them to lay down, which they did without any complaint, mindful to leave space for Qiqi in case she decided she wanted to curl up at their side (which she sometimes did if the pharmacy wasn't especially busy). "Remember not to do so at your own expense. You don't need to push yourself so hard. You have to be mindful of your condition, [Name]."

They went quiet, shooting him a critical look.

"I respect you so much Dr. Baizhu, but that is insanely hypocritcal of you to say. You are such a hypocrite. I just know that if Changsheng weren't off hiding somewhere, she'd back me up right now."

The doctor merely chuckled. "You may be right. Nonetheless, my point still stands."

"Yeah, I know, but it's not as if I passed out or anything. I used to faint in the heat all the time, but it happens less now... I've gotten better since working here."

He smiled fondly, gingerly taking off his glasses and setting them to the side. Baizhu shifted a little, getting into a position that was comfortable. "You have, indeed."

Quiet murmurs, discussions of medicinal practice and others of similar content, were eventually lost to the weight of heat exhaustion.

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

[kipxan]

ohh my god ok so i love clangen and the WONDERFUL Nimaereth created a mod that lets you customize and import your own cats into the game and i’m obsessed. i’ve had zero time to draw so i’ve been creating characters from my own personal warrior cats ““worldbuilding”” project (plus my beloved lightningclaw of course).

the folks working on this game are incredibly smart and do all this work for free, and i respect the hell out of them for bringing together such a lovely fan project! definitely show them support if you can!

credits: mod by Nimaereth (linked above), merle and abyssinian coat patterns by MagiBaxter, extra pelt colors by Eragona (no github link but can provide link to her thread in the discord server), just-some-cat for the original sprites, and ofc the clangen team itself!  if any one of you want me to take this down, just lmk! :)

more about these characters:

row 1: eclipsestar, murkmist, frostmoon

row 2: riverhaze, silvertongue, nightstep

row 3: wolfstorm, ashfrost, lightningclaw

except for lightningclaw, who is the SkyClan deputy, all of these guys belong to PineClan, which is one of the four clans formed far in the north after several lake clan cats were wrongfully chased from their home. their territory borders MountainClan and ValeClan, while CavernClan makes their home in the cave system underneath the three territories. they make their camp in a pine forest, but their hunting grounds also include a muskeg dubbed The Frozen Mire by the cats. most of their ancestors come from either ShadowClan or SkyClan.

their territory also includes the outer edges of the Fox Hollows, home to an intelligent fox pack that long pre-dates the Clans. PineClan maintains an uneasy truce with the foxes over the strip of their territories that overlaps, and as such all PineClan apprentices are taught to speak a little bit of fox. while it doesn’t always stop natural predator conflict, they live in peace most of the time.

PineClan prides themselves on their wisdom and history. they have strong oral traditions, and some stories claim to date all the way back to the old forest. elders are revered to a greater degree than in other clans, and their stories are a favorite among apprentices of other clans at gatherings. PineClan also has a role called the Lorekeeper. they hunt but do not fight or patrol borders, however their main role is to record Clan history. a large stone wall, sheltered from the elements in an abandoned burrow, is painted on to record births, deaths, and changes in position (think kinda like Paleolithic cave paintings). 

their build is lean and elegant, their fur kept sleek and well-groomed. dark coats are valued for nighttime hunting, while tabbies and tortoiseshells are great for hunting in trees. many of them, oddly enough, have large and pointy ears, which legend says they developed to listen for prey in the silent woodland. their scent is reminiscent of pine needles, with a muskier undertone from the wetland.

i won’t get into it too much here but it is important to note that all four clans have a special warrior called their Guardian. this warrior is stronger and wiser than the average clan cat, and their soul is continually reincarnated. though not technically a Guardian, the “original” soul comes from Moonchaser, who led the clan cats to their new northern home. there is a LOT of lore surrounding this bit but think like a mix between the avatar and the nerevarine.

anyway cats.

Eclipsestar (Eclipsestream): current leader of PineClan. she’s chill. has a very relaxed and open policy to outsiders (the northern Clans usually do to prevent inbreeding, but even by these standards she’s very welcoming). was very young to be appointed deputy by the previous leader, Wolfstar, so her inexperience and the need to grow up quickly does sometimes still show. however, she’s overall seen as a wise and peaceful leader.

Murkmist: eclipsestar’s deputy and longtime best friend. while she disagrees with some of eclipse's policies, they’re overall a good fit for each other. sly and crafty, she’s usually the first cat to send when dealing with the Fox Hollows. not above causing drama with the other clans, but she will do so in a manner that makes her seem completely uninvolved.

Frostmoon: the senior medicine cat, very old by the time most of these characters roll around. strict, cold, and deeply rooted in tradition. as an apprentice she was considered a prodigy, but like eclipse, she also lost her mentor at a young age, which led to her developing a deep desire to prove herself. this led to her severely mishandling a situation involving the Clan’s previous Guardian, and many cats (perhaps wrongfully, perhaps not) sadly ended up losing their trust in her.

Riverhaze: frostmoon’s former apprentice. nervous, a bit flighty, and eager to please. not a whole lot to say about him, but he’s a good healer and a nice dude. despite his mentor’s failings, he’s still close with her.

Silvertongue: the current Lorekeeper. not a kittypet since humans are gone in this world, i just thought the collar looked nice. though he probably does have outsider roots. clever, sassy, good-natured, and takes his job VERY seriously. also nightstep’s mate, which means he puts up with a lot of nonsense haha. 

Nightstep: the current Guardian and main character of this hypothetical story (and also the cat iteration of my beloved skyrim character, teravyn, though they’ve kind of evolved into separate characters). adventurous, impulsive, and gets into more trouble than what’s good for him. kind to the point where some might call him naive, but to his credit his heart is in the right place, and he’ll grow into the role. however, his impulsivity is again a problem, because he can be absolutely terrifying in battle. very close with wolfstorm and considers her a sister, and his mate is silvertongue whom he loves very much. his other best friend is a former loner called mireclaw, who’s not featured here.

Wolfstorm: young warrior, found by the Clan as a kit. assumed to be a loner kit, but her mother is actually the MountainClan deputy Magpieshadow, who secretly left her kit with PineClan after her mate died and she felt unprepared to raise a kit alone. due to her MountainClan genes, she’s HUGE (and fluffy) compared to the average PineClan cat. to wolf, the warrior code is...more of a suggestion than a rule set. she’s sneaky and not above stealing prey to feed her own clan, but by starclan is she good at staying hidden. some believe her blessed by the (currently unnamed) patron of stealth. very close with both nightstep and silvertongue, as well as another warrior called mireclaw (not featured here).

Ashfrost: a background warrior. also not much to say about her, but i like her a lot. you will never ever find her in the midst of any drama--she is too laidback and too chill with everyone for that nonsense. however, gossip? she is MORE than happy to listen to it, just don’t make her get involved.

Lightningclaw: my baby. my boy. go here.

[georg-prime]

Some good anime recs

With magic and/or queer characters, that are fun, thoughtful, emotionally satisfying, beautiful.

Natsume's Book of Friends

One of the best manga/anime out there. Has some serious angst but also light comedy, issues about the fleeting life of fragile human beings from long-lived/immortal beings' POV, found families, sweet friendship, and a bit of unexpected horror. If you love Ghibli stuff especially Spirited Away, this should be for you. No queer characters in this, not really (except one minor female character), but the vibes of some characters can be debatedly genderqueer friendly for some (especially the youkai) and mlm lining for others, and the fandom delivers as usual. The 7th season is currently airing, and it's never disappointing, please come gush to/with me about how good it is!

Bodacious Space Pirates

Fun hard sci-fi. Mostly young women being cool, smart, funny, and a bit sapphic. Corsair girls in their awesome spaceship, doing light crimes, racing, and saving the galaxy. Super underrated, was slept on when it aired back then and that's just a damn shame.

Flying Witch

The nice daily life of a good apprentice witch, her witches friend and her magical and non-magical relatives, and the many strange and fun creatures she meets. Way too short, manga is still running and could easily be adapted to at least two other seasons (I recommend reading it too), worldbuilding is super creative and it's fascinating how the supernatural is usually just part of nature and the characters dealing with in simple tranquil ways. Side note: I wish some of these witches were as gay they seem.

Witchcraft Works

Underrated too, fun, weirdly feminist imo, creative with great animation, too short and deserve at least a second season to finish to story as the manga is complete. Childhood friends to lovers, boy's one of the sweetest male characters I know and his love for penguins deserves more appreciation, tall witch girl is badass as hell and also somehow a himbo. Catchy funny ending song is iconic.

Yuri!! On Ice

Do I really need to say something, pretty sure it should be popular enough, but maybe teens out here weren't old enough to have been on the internet/Tumblr etc when it was released? It's been some years after all. It's a good sport anime, with one hell of a hilarious twist around episode 7, which completely changed my opinion on the two main characters and their relationship, and makes this such a re-watchable season. Still waiting for a following, though and it's getting worrisome (hopeless?) since the prequel move got cancelled this year... But worth it anyway.

Tales of Zestiria

Famous game franchise with many unrelated games and their animated adaptation, I have a particular love for this instalment for how surprisingly queer friendly the ending was (wlw 🤝mlm solidarity). Good animation and lovable characters, cool fights, it makes you want to play the game(s), and that wouldn't be a bad thing as it is a good gateway to JRPGs in general imho. Quite active fandom still to this day and for shippers that's really nice.

Frieren

There's a lot of things to be said about this amazing manga/anime, it's funny, touching, melancholy, romantic, has some awesome animation and cool fights and is satisfying to dungeon RPG fans... It's really one of the best anime ever and I really recommend getting on the bandwagon now to follow it while release because imo it's one of those stories that benefits the best in weekly release (anime and manga) to let the feelings simmer and the fandom talks flourish (like without spoiling much, currently in the manga, a certain character is back and seriously tense situations are happening and some painful dilemma should be coming, better to live it than hear about everything later I'd say, especially because of how culte the anime already is). Much like Natsume's Book of Friends the way it touch on the pain but worth of knowing and caring for someone even if your lifespans are wildly different, is at the heart of the story and the characters's development and it's so well written. You know the end of the journey will leave you with lasting effects.

[sacricidal]

HI havent actually used this account that much even though my arcana hyperfix is still through the roof ...... im drawing more arcana fanart promise but heres my fan (not at all) apprentice ❤️ Hes the actual worst MORE BELOW IF UR INTERESTED IN ADHD RAMBLING

basically hes a hitman larping as a musketeer who has a crazy connection with death (the arcana) (and just Death in general). since i dont want him as the apprentice im kinda changing the story Sorry.......

while he already had a deal with the death arcana (he was their actual patron unlike valdemar just taking their power), he was not involved with any of the characters at all until that fateful night of lucio's assassination where the ritual was (supposed to be) successful but this random guy comes in and ruins it all and causes everything bad to happen. lucios still stuck in that weird goatman limbo becaus he was fatally injured right when the ritual's effects were taking place so he still stays liek that.... eventually gets his money and sneaks back into lucio's wing a few weeks after because he'd grown to like the man in his final moments. he happened to learn this other ritual in some magicbook he stole. it unfortunately Works. Bounded for life ❤️ lots of things go down but i dont feel like writing entirely how id want the m6's routes to go (especially lucio's and julian's because their dynamics get insanely complicated QUICK) but its Much more crazy than ingame i promise you so bad. i needed to let thjs out into the world my mind has too many ideas that i never share this is my chance........

[chocoblep]

#15: Warming Up to the Idea

Prompt: Freee day! (Achieve)

Illian leaned over the temperature control panel that he’d nearly finished embedding into the wall, screwdriver in hand. He was fairly certain he would have to adjust the crystals below the floor once he finished this step and turned it on, as he’d used a modified version of the one he had in his own workspace. Now that he’d had sufficient time to test it, he’d slowly started installing these temperature controls in other places around Highvale Manor. This particular unit was for the kitchen–specifically, the larder. If he could get it to keep a consistently cold temperature, then they could store more in the space while using significantly less ice crystals.  Thankfully, they’d just cleaned it out and moved the contents they were keeping to a temporary cooler, so if this didn’t work, at least things wouldn’t spoil. Still, he was fairly sure it would.

He finished the panel’s install, and then went to double-check the wires he’d attached to the regulator below. The only differences in this setup was the lack of switch from warm to cold and the presence of two ice crystals instead of an ice and fire crystal from which to draw aspected aether. Once he was certain all of the connections were in place, he moved back outside the larder and began to press buttons on the panel. Setting it to freezing temperatures, he confirmed his choice, and then tipped his head to listen.

When he heard the tell-tale whir of the fans, he smiled and rounded back into the larder to feel in front of the three ducts along the top of the wall with his bare fingers. Satisfied with the cold air pushing into the room, he covered the floor panel and then walked out and closed the door.

“What’s for lunch, Khalan?” he asked, and the cook–an older dark-skinned Miqo’te woman with silvery streaks in her pulled-back dark hair–turned her tea-green eyes toward him. A smile lit her face.

“Oh, done already, are ya? That was quick!” She was already pulling out a plate and setting it on the counter. “Popoto crisps are almost done, and I could build ya a sandwich ahead of the rest of ‘em.”

“I’d appreciate that,” Illian said, swinging his leg over one of the stools that usually went unused at the kitchen counter. Most people ate in the dining room, and Rath seemed to vacillate between eating with his staff and taking his meals privately. It really depended on whether or not he was absorbed in a task.

As Khalan built his sandwich, the pair chattered about different things that he could improve around the kitchen. The device he’d made to mix ingredients for baked goods had saved her aging arms many aches, but her knuckles were starting to get knobby and stiff.

“Should we be looking into getting you an apprentice, or an assistant, to take over when you finally decide to retire?” he asked, not bothering to hide his concern.

“Oh, you know me and my kitchen,” she replied.

And he did. He’d once tried to help her prepare a meal, and gotten the biggest lecture of his life  for it. M’rath was banned from using it, and he’d floated the idea of an assistant or apprentice several times with no luck. He gave her a nod as she loaded up some of the finished crisps onto a plate and then finished his sandwich, sliding the food over to him.

“At least have Lord Highvale look at your hands,” he implored, before crunching into his first crisp and biting back a groan of happiness.

“That, I’ll do,” she replied, turning back toward the stove to pull out the last tray of crisps and set them out to cool. “At my age, I wouldn’t terribly mind an extra set of hands–ah, but they've got to be capable! Not somebody like you coming in to help!”

“Firstly, rude,” he said around a bite from his sandwich. “Secondly, you’re right; I’m not an experienced cook, unless you count campfire meals.”

“Which I don’t. If you’re going to insist on hiring me an assistant, then I need to test them.” She eyed Illian with a stern expression, placing both hands on her soft hips.

“I’ll talk to him about it, and we will bring any prospective candidates to you. I promise.” It was an assurance that he could keep, and as he watched her nod and go to grab the tongs, moving slower than she used to, he thought that perhaps he should initiate that process sooner rather than later.

When he was done eating, he checked on the larder’s temperature, delighted to find that it had chilled to the temperature he’d set. Supplying Khalan with instructions to monitor the panel every half bell and report any fluctuations to him, he set off back through the manor to attend his other duties. Nothing else was going to give him the satisfaction of convincing Khalan to entertain the idea of someone else sharing her kitchen, but they had to be done nonetheless.