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[nevaroonie]

I'll Regret It Tomorrow

TW - Very DETAILED make-out session, CHEATING, Suggestive remember how my page is 17+ AN - Soo... WC - 1120 Part 1

The tension could be cut with a knife.

 Milo’s mate dropped him off a couple of hours ago. They wanted him to hang out with Ash. Milo was against the idea but they were persistent. He didn’t know why; that was a lie.. He knew why. They saw the way they looked at each other at that party. Maybe this was them giving up. 

Telling him to be with the one he truly loved. To be with the one who had his heart. While they only held a faction. He didn’t know what hurt more. The fact that they were right in that assumption. Or the fact they’ve given up. Was he really using them as a placeholder? A temporary fix?

Yes. 

Now he sat here on the couch. One that belongs to the man who had and still has his heart. The same man who awkwardly let him inside. Who agreed to let him stay.` Who looked like he had his heart crushed. And yet he still stepped away to make snacks, while setting up a movie night for the both of them. 

This wasn’t fair, not fair to any of the parties involved. 

Milos's thoughts were interrupted by Asher walking back into the living room. 

‘’ sorry.. I didn’t have much on stand-by.. ‘’  it was true. Asher wasn’t expecting any guests and he’d eaten most of his snacks the night of the house party. 

‘’ you’re fine.. ‘’  

‘’ so.. Did.. you have a movie in mind? ‘’ Asher wanted to cut the tension. But it’s hard to cut year-old tension. 

‘’n...no.. not really.. ‘’  and Milo wanted to be anywhere but here. He can’t do this. 

‘’ I heard.. Brokeback Mountain is good.. ‘’ 

‘’ lets.. Go with that.. ‘’ Milo just wanted this conversation to be over. 

Asher walked over to turn on the Xbox and went to join Milo on the couch. It was going to be a long night. And he knew that.. As the Xbox powered on. He couldn’t help but glance at Milo. His soulmate sitting this close to him. Was the idea of being alone with him that enjoyable? 

Yes. 

They hadn’t been this close since.. That night. He didn’t want to think about that. Not tonight. This could finally be his chance to.. Make things right. To apologize.. When the green screen went black.. And eventually to the profile segment. 

Milo was flashed with his Xbox account. He remembered making it when Ash first got it. He’d thought he would have gotten rid of it. This made him wonder if he deleted his switch account off his switch. If the Xbox account was still here probably not. 

Asher logged in, going to the video section. And finding Netflix, hoping Milo would fall asleep during the movie. So he could just go hide in his room for the rest of the night. But he knew Milo and that wasn’t going to happen easily. But he could only hope. 

‘’ so.. ‘’ Milo attempted a conversation. Though he wouldn’t know what to do with a response. 

Ash didn’t respond. He didn’t know what to say. He just pretended not to hear him.. Maybe if he just focused on finding this movie he’d be fine. 

Milo took that as a sign to shut up. I mean he technically did show up on his doorstep. Without warning.. Adding on the fact they haven’t had a proper conversation in years. They hadn’t been this close in months. Even at pack meetings, Asher kept his distance. 

Milo couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t ignore the burning in his chest. He couldn’t push those feelings down.. He couldn’t do it. Not while he was sitting next to him. Movie be damned. He wanted him.. No he needed him. The marking on his chest only proved the universe wanted them together too. 

‘’ Ash.. ‘’ Milo palmed the controller out of his hands. 

‘’ what.. Milo .. ‘’ the sudden contact caused him to freeze. The marking that littered his shoulder started to burn. He couldn’t do this.. 

‘’  t…thats my name.. ‘’ 

‘’  I.. need you to be honest with me.. ‘’ Milo was laying all his cards on the table. If he was going to risk this.. It wasn’t going to be for nothing.     

‘’ honest about what.. ‘’ 

‘’ Me. ‘’ 

Asher looked at his friend. What did he mean be honest? 

‘’ Tell.. me what… you wanted to say all those years ago..’’ Milo held his hands in his ‘’ tell me.. What.. you failed to tell me then.. ‘’ his eye watered as he remembered that day. He needed to hear Ash say he loved him. He loved his partner but Asher would always have his heart. 

Fuck. It. 

‘’ Milo.. I want to be your everything.. I want to be the person you wake up too. I need to be the person you hold when you’re down. I need that.. But i need that with you.. You Milo Greer. ‘’ 

Asher couldn’t believe the words that left his mouth. And he couldn’t believe Milo either.. He had a partner. Someone who loved him.. Someone he fell for. And yet here he sat. in front of him. Begging to hear some words that never left his mouth. Words he promised would never leave his mouth. 

And maybe in a moment of passion and desperation. Milo kissed him. And he kissed him back. Pulling him onto his lap; were they really about to do this? 

Yes.                  

For once in his life Asher stopped thinking and let his body take control. And god did it feel good. Milo's warm body against his, lips intertwined. God he didn’t want this to end. He didn’t know when he’d feel this warmth again. 

And he wasn’t going to waste it. Not again. Not ever.. 

Asher pulled away, causing Milo to open his eyes. He was confused.. 

‘’ I need you to tell me this..is what you want..I Need you to tell me.. You won’t regret this. ‘’ 

Asher was getting desperate. He needed him.. But he needed to know for sure. This is what he wanted too. 

‘’ I won’t.. Whatever happens after.. I’ll deal with it. Just, please.. ‘’ 

Once again lips met skin.. And god the noises that escaped his mouth were just as good as he imagined. He bet his partner couldn’t make him feel like this. Asher made his way down Milo’s neck while he made music under him. 

He needed more. 

‘’ clothes.. I.. need to feel.. More.. ‘’ Asher whined in his ear. And Milo gladly offered a solution. 

As he slid his shirt over his head. And Asher eyed his tattoo. The one they shared. The one that let him know. Milo Greer was his. And smiled. 

Though Milo lied. 

He’d Regret It Tomorrow. 

He knows he will. But god did it feel good. 

[n0ahsferatu]

pov you are a locked chest or perhaps someone bleeding to death

[sunnymainecoon]

I know damn well I misunderstood the assignment but we roll, I'll understand it some day

It's killer and dust btw. If you couldn't tell. Which you probably couldn't.. forgor to say but shhh 🤫 Killers having a convo with himself..

..I kinda wanna change my url but idk to what

[ricky-mortis]

Hatchetfield @femslashfortnight Day 1: Make It Sapphic AU

[crescentfool]

the great seal <3

[volivolition]

SHIVERS WON THE SKILLS BRACKET!!!!

YAY CONGRATS SHIVERS FOR WINNING @skills-bracket-2 <333

[mars-ipan]

so we all saw @dr2-hell's updated bunnymaeda design right. because i sure as hell did

[tehcherrya]

Young Frodo and his Uncle Bilbo

I am well aware that Bilbo didn't adopt Frodo and raised him since he was a baby per-say, but there's still a fair bit of uncharted territory of Bilbo simultaneously being the most responsible irresponsible guardian hobbit there is.

Like-- He will give Frodo a talking to for stealing vegetables but is he going to make him return them? No! Obviously he's making them an awesome vegetable stew for supper later.

[duskerot]

i disappear inside myself / my friends don't know it can't be helped

[Pure You - Nothing But Thieves]

[thiinka]

Hi I posted some of these elsewhere but you guys get my 3DS photos AND my regular phone photos yayyyyyy. Straight from BLIB (6:30 o clock show):

[pocketgalaxies]

I've got my eye on you. I'm still here.

[vanityangel]

You never changed! You never change.

[somegrumpynerd]

How absolutely wild must it have been for Nightmare to have like, minimum-to-no contact with mortals for hundreds of years and then the first two he has any regular close interactions with are Killer and Dust.

Like he must have a book in his castle somewhere of all the observations he kept like he was studying a new species

[m3tr0n0m333]

🎵A Pearl - Mitski

Sonic and Nine animatic

[old-skyguy]

Rewatching Gravity Falls for the who-knows-what thousandth time and I. I have. A thought.

The website that alluded to (not confirmed, as far as I know) of a season three. And this is a big deal.

Since it's pretty much a given that if this does end up happening, Bill WILL be a part of it and they'll need some way to stop him. So I figured, since Mabel destroyed the memory eraser and Bill would probably not have fallen for the same thing twice anyway, the obvious choice is the zodiac wheel again.

BUT.

What if instead of it all being the same person in the same spot as they were in the finale, why not have their positions switched around a bit. The obvious examples being Wendy as pine tree since she and Dipper swapped hats and Soos since he took over as owner of the Mystery Shack and also Stan's iconic hat. I *may* try to plot out who would go where and share the rest of that stuff on here, but I think this idea would work really well when you contextualize it with the concept that even though time has passed and people have grown and changed and are no longer the same as they once were, they're still just as strong and still care for each other and their bond will never be broken.

Much like the people who loved this show.

[applestorms]

ok, well. if last time i talked about parallels between near & light, i guess it’s only fair that this time i talk about parallels between mello & misa. yap central on this blog lately.

the main thing that stands out the most about mello & misa, and the reason why i will forever Defend them and their place in the story, is that in my mind they both function in a similar way on a narrative level: namely, both of them are incredibly active wild-card characters that keep the action going and the story moving forward when the other main characters like light, L, & near start getting too passive.

notably, while i often see this trait praised in mello, usually in the context of a comparative criticism of near for his overly-abundant passivity, i have also seen it used as a criticism of misa's character, that she breaks up the status quo of DN too significantly and thereby makes the story feel less realistic. this last point in particular is an odd argument to make imo, as if anything misa's presence only increases the realism of DN by adding some extra luck/random chance into the story in a way that is ultimately still character-motivated and thus easier for the audience to go along with-- something DN in general is very good at, often introducing elements through pure chance but keeping them grounded in characters enough that you almost don't even notice.

take light meeting naomi misora, for example: the only reason he runs across her at all is because he offers to run an errand for his mom on a bored laundry day, literally stumbling across her right at the exact moment she is divulging important insights she is literally the only person capable of making about kira. yet this moment does not stand out as particularly aggravating or out of place in the story, as ultimately the only reason why light is able to get out of that situation is his own quick thinking and ability to calm himself while under immense pressure, squeezing his way out of a potentially run-ending situation he didn't even know existed moments prior.

(not a fan of that big joel video, if you couldn't tell. lmao.)

point is, mello & misa both fulfill about the same narrative function in the story by being so aggressive in their actions, catching the others off guard even if their plans aren't as well thought out or careful as they could otherwise be. they're both incredibly passionate, dedicated characters as well, tough enough to take the hit when it inevitably comes, and in my opinion neither of them are nearly as stupid as the other MCs like to make them out to be. to some degree, i think both of them are aware of the fact that they can't win at the Mind Game Cold War Bullshit the others are inclined to get involved in, so they instead choose to carve out their own place in the story through sheer perseverance alone.

which, speaking of passion: one of the most interesting parallels i think you can make between mello & misa is the ways in which they idolize their respective heroes, misa's obviously being light while mello's is L. allow me to elaborate.

as this post points out, DN has some very interesting use of its religious imagery & theming, and in particular its use of christian/catholic gothic imagery in its story and especially its art. however, as op notes, a lot of this is quite superficial, ascribing to an aesthetic of "kitschy Catholicism," that was characteristic of a lot of early 2000s japanese goth style. yet, while i admit that a more serious consideration of religious elements in the art & story could add some interesting flavor to the story, i also think that, regardless of intention, the superficiality of DN's religious elements works really well in the context of this particular story. as i stated in my tags on that post: light is a superficial god. he is a fake, a scam, some idiot human that stumbled across the powers of a real shinigami and got his head up his ass about it. and a lot of the arcs of other characters in DN is about their reaction to light's claims-- whether they choose to follow him (e.g. misa, mikami), follow somebody else (e.g. mello), or follow nobody at all (e.g. near, also kinda soichiro?), and the implications that has for their lives and personalities.

this is all to say that while you can, on a surface level, connect misa & mello pretty easily as the two aggressive, fashionable blondes of the series, i also think that these somewhat superficial traits betray a greater connection between the two of them. if we understand the christian/catholic elements of misa & mello's fashion as a demonstration of their connection to not just a higher power but a lie, a superficial deity simply reflecting the sunlight of powers greater than himself, then i think we have great insight into another key element of both their characters.

do not forget: in the world of DN, heaven & hell do not exist. at least in the context of death itself, the realm & lore of the shinigami reign supreme, a point which the DN musical makes even more overt: "Isn't it a laugh? / Isn't it a shame? / Thinking there is someone in heaven to blame?" and "Going through the motions / as if there will be a reward / Oh, while we stay eternally bored!" (BEST SONGGG.) everyone is destined for the same fate of MU, the same void of nothingness awaits all. no reward, no punishment, no greater deity looking down upon us than the bored, slothful shinigami, lazing about in their realm and picking people off only when necessary (for the most part).

misa & mello are thus dedicating themselves to false idols, and we can see the negative effects this has on them in almost every facet of their character-- particularly for mello, who is perhaps more self-aware and has more of a mixed emotional outlook on his idol, but maybe even to a more extreme degree for misa. i keep going back to this idea of equating boredom with depression in DN, but where light/L/near are all "bored" in a very quiet, passive, stewing-in-bed late at night kinda way, misa & mello are characteristically a lot more aggressive and intense about it-- while neither of them are super overtly suicidal, necessarily, their actions still betray a distinct lack of care for their own safety or lives, expressing the same thematic sentiment as the others. even if they still don't straight up say it, through their actions they're a lot louder about not liking themselves, and seem to take the problems they see in the world more personally, shouldering the blame as a failure within themselves instead of projecting it outward like the others: e.g. light taking his unhappiness at the emptiness of his life at the start of the story & placing the blame on the world for "going to shit" & humanity's moral failings, versus misa being willing to literally & figuratively give up her life for KIRA the second he demands it, whether that be in the form of shinigami eyes or killing her own friends w/o second thought-- all because he was the only thing to bring justice to her own parents' deaths, an almost undoubtedly traumatizing/horrible experience for her considering how much value she places on KIRA/light afterwards.

to clarify, this is not to say that all of these characters are actually and literally depressed and/or suicidal, though you could certainly make that argument for some/all of them-- this is just one way that i think you could interpret their roles in the plot, and their thematic attachment to the story. even if DN isn't all that interested in considering the True Moral Answer to ethics/the justice system/human society/etc, it definitely takes at least some interest in the emotional viewpoints of characters in relation to those concepts, so i think this is a fair enough approach to take. or to say this another way, it's less about justifying the claim that "the world is shit," and more about trying to understand the emotional motivation & experience of feeling like the world is shit, if that makes sense.

that being said...speaking more on the whole "not liking themselves," thing: even if she doesn't say it aloud often, if ever, i think that misa is deeply aware of the fact that she was not supposed to live this long, that her existence at all is a pure stroke of luck that let her live on past her destined date. she dedicates herself to light so fully, not even necessarily expecting reciprocation (though she at least reserves herself the possibility of such), because being a disciple to her god at least gives her life some kind of purpose. similarly, i think mello is also aware of just how out of reach the one thing he wants is, how his desperation in and of itself is ironically the one thing keeping him from surpassing near and truly being #1. it's important to note that pre-time skip misa & post-skip mello are almost exactly the same age, around 20 years old at the time of their main arcs. they're immature, and in the case of mello especially, are lashing out at the world in whatever way they can because they know they don't quite fit into it in the way that they want to or should. regardless of the intent behind it, mello & misa both still make the conscious decision to kill with the DN-- perhaps in a way that still keeps their humanity, at least following near's logic, but it's a decision to end a human life either way.

anyways, going back to my previous point, this "worshiping of false idols," idea has some interesting implications-- for misa & mello yes, but also for L and the ways in which he contrasts again light, as under this logic mello's treatment kind of inherently gives L a similar status as a sort of false god/idol. which-- actually makes a lot of sense? or at the very least, viewing wammy's house as a kind of mystery cult a la the eleusinian mysteries is a neat approach to take. L & light's mutual alienation from humanity fits them both filling a false god status, anyway. also there's another thread of analysis you could follow here where near is instead fit into the role of the person mello is fixated on which AAAAAAAAA has interesting implications but jesus fucking christ, this post is long. some thoughts for another time, i suppose.