#mihael when he keehls you.........

[applestorms]

ok, well. if last time i talked about parallels between near & light, i guess it’s only fair that this time i talk about parallels between mello & misa. yap central on this blog lately.

the main thing that stands out the most about mello & misa, and the reason why i will forever Defend them and their place in the story, is that in my mind they both function in a similar way on a narrative level: namely, both of them are incredibly active wild-card characters that keep the action going and the story moving forward when the other main characters like light, L, & near start getting too passive.

notably, while i often see this trait praised in mello, usually in the context of a comparative criticism of near for his overly-abundant passivity, i have also seen it used as a criticism of misa's character, that she breaks up the status quo of DN too significantly and thereby makes the story feel less realistic. this last point in particular is an odd argument to make imo, as if anything misa's presence only increases the realism of DN by adding some extra luck/random chance into the story in a way that is ultimately still character-motivated and thus easier for the audience to go along with-- something DN in general is very good at, often introducing elements through pure chance but keeping them grounded in characters enough that you almost don't even notice.

take light meeting naomi misora, for example: the only reason he runs across her at all is because he offers to run an errand for his mom on a bored laundry day, literally stumbling across her right at the exact moment she is divulging important insights she is literally the only person capable of making about kira. yet this moment does not stand out as particularly aggravating or out of place in the story, as ultimately the only reason why light is able to get out of that situation is his own quick thinking and ability to calm himself while under immense pressure, squeezing his way out of a potentially run-ending situation he didn't even know existed moments prior.

(not a fan of that big joel video, if you couldn't tell. lmao.)

point is, mello & misa both fulfill about the same narrative function in the story by being so aggressive in their actions, catching the others off guard even if their plans aren't as well thought out or careful as they could otherwise be. they're both incredibly passionate, dedicated characters as well, tough enough to take the hit when it inevitably comes, and in my opinion neither of them are nearly as stupid as the other MCs like to make them out to be. to some degree, i think both of them are aware of the fact that they can't win at the Mind Game Cold War Bullshit the others are inclined to get involved in, so they instead choose to carve out their own place in the story through sheer perseverance alone.

which, speaking of passion: one of the most interesting parallels i think you can make between mello & misa is the ways in which they idolize their respective heroes, misa's obviously being light while mello's is L. allow me to elaborate.

as this post points out, DN has some very interesting use of its religious imagery & theming, and in particular its use of christian/catholic gothic imagery in its story and especially its art. however, as op notes, a lot of this is quite superficial, ascribing to an aesthetic of "kitschy Catholicism," that was characteristic of a lot of early 2000s japanese goth style. yet, while i admit that a more serious consideration of religious elements in the art & story could add some interesting flavor to the story, i also think that, regardless of intention, the superficiality of DN's religious elements works really well in the context of this particular story. as i stated in my tags on that post: light is a superficial god. he is a fake, a scam, some idiot human that stumbled across the powers of a real shinigami and got his head up his ass about it. and a lot of the arcs of other characters in DN is about their reaction to light's claims-- whether they choose to follow him (e.g. misa, mikami), follow somebody else (e.g. mello), or follow nobody at all (e.g. near, also kinda soichiro?), and the implications that has for their lives and personalities.

this is all to say that while you can, on a surface level, connect misa & mello pretty easily as the two aggressive, fashionable blondes of the series, i also think that these somewhat superficial traits betray a greater connection between the two of them. if we understand the christian/catholic elements of misa & mello's fashion as a demonstration of their connection to not just a higher power but a lie, a superficial deity simply reflecting the sunlight of powers greater than himself, then i think we have great insight into another key element of both their characters.

do not forget: in the world of DN, heaven & hell do not exist. at least in the context of death itself, the realm & lore of the shinigami reign supreme, a point which the DN musical makes even more overt: "Isn't it a laugh? / Isn't it a shame? / Thinking there is someone in heaven to blame?" and "Going through the motions / as if there will be a reward / Oh, while we stay eternally bored!" (BEST SONGGG.) everyone is destined for the same fate of MU, the same void of nothingness awaits all. no reward, no punishment, no greater deity looking down upon us than the bored, slothful shinigami, lazing about in their realm and picking people off only when necessary (for the most part).

misa & mello are thus dedicating themselves to false idols, and we can see the negative effects this has on them in almost every facet of their character-- particularly for mello, who is perhaps more self-aware and has more of a mixed emotional outlook on his idol, but maybe even to a more extreme degree for misa. i keep going back to this idea of equating boredom with depression in DN, but where light/L/near are all "bored" in a very quiet, passive, stewing-in-bed late at night kinda way, misa & mello are characteristically a lot more aggressive and intense about it-- while neither of them are super overtly suicidal, necessarily, their actions still betray a distinct lack of care for their own safety or lives, expressing the same thematic sentiment as the others. even if they still don't straight up say it, through their actions they're a lot louder about not liking themselves, and seem to take the problems they see in the world more personally, shouldering the blame as a failure within themselves instead of projecting it outward like the others: e.g. light taking his unhappiness at the emptiness of his life at the start of the story & placing the blame on the world for "going to shit" & humanity's moral failings, versus misa being willing to literally & figuratively give up her life for KIRA the second he demands it, whether that be in the form of shinigami eyes or killing her own friends w/o second thought-- all because he was the only thing to bring justice to her own parents' deaths, an almost undoubtedly traumatizing/horrible experience for her considering how much value she places on KIRA/light afterwards.

to clarify, this is not to say that all of these characters are actually and literally depressed and/or suicidal, though you could certainly make that argument for some/all of them-- this is just one way that i think you could interpret their roles in the plot, and their thematic attachment to the story. even if DN isn't all that interested in considering the True Moral Answer to ethics/the justice system/human society/etc, it definitely takes at least some interest in the emotional viewpoints of characters in relation to those concepts, so i think this is a fair enough approach to take. or to say this another way, it's less about justifying the claim that "the world is shit," and more about trying to understand the emotional motivation & experience of feeling like the world is shit, if that makes sense.

that being said...speaking more on the whole "not liking themselves," thing: even if she doesn't say it aloud often, if ever, i think that misa is deeply aware of the fact that she was not supposed to live this long, that her existence at all is a pure stroke of luck that let her live on past her destined date. she dedicates herself to light so fully, not even necessarily expecting reciprocation (though she at least reserves herself the possibility of such), because being a disciple to her god at least gives her life some kind of purpose. similarly, i think mello is also aware of just how out of reach the one thing he wants is, how his desperation in and of itself is ironically the one thing keeping him from surpassing near and truly being #1. it's important to note that pre-time skip misa & post-skip mello are almost exactly the same age, around 20 years old at the time of their main arcs. they're immature, and in the case of mello especially, are lashing out at the world in whatever way they can because they know they don't quite fit into it in the way that they want to or should. regardless of the intent behind it, mello & misa both still make the conscious decision to kill with the DN-- perhaps in a way that still keeps their humanity, at least following near's logic, but it's a decision to end a human life either way.

anyways, going back to my previous point, this "worshiping of false idols," idea has some interesting implications-- for misa & mello yes, but also for L and the ways in which he contrasts again light, as under this logic mello's treatment kind of inherently gives L a similar status as a sort of false god/idol. which-- actually makes a lot of sense? or at the very least, viewing wammy's house as a kind of mystery cult a la the eleusinian mysteries is a neat approach to take. L & light's mutual alienation from humanity fits them both filling a false god status, anyway. also there's another thread of analysis you could follow here where near is instead fit into the role of the person mello is fixated on which AAAAAAAAA has interesting implications but jesus fucking christ, this post is long. some thoughts for another time, i suppose.

[rawrlight]

(template on pinterest)

[beetlevvings]

mello matt headcanons for me to forget

[paradisepoisoned]

“Bang! Bang! That awful sound…”

This was just supposed to be a quick doodle, but as you can see… I got a little carried away.

P.S: Curse you @brothercrush for saying it better than I ever could. You saw the vision.

“BOYKING WHO WILL NEVER BE HIS DADDY.” 🖤

[threshasaurus-writes]

In Charge, Chapter 29: Honesty

Fandom: Death Note (no Death Note AU)

Characters: Near, Matt, Mello, L, Teru Mikami, a whole bunch of cameos from canon characters as supporting cast

Ships: Shippy Gen with a friendship triangle (whee!)

Rating: M for violence and Mikami (you'll see) Summary:

Summary:

Matt, Mello and Near work under their mentor, world-famous genius detective L, training to become detectives someday themselves. Matt is generally okay with being in third place when compared to Mello and Near, but things are about to change. When Near suddenly collapses while he and Matt are home alone, the redhead finds himself in charge for the first time ever.

Matt rushes Near to the hospital. Just as a friendship begins to form between the two boys, Mello arrives and complicates the dynamic. Things go from bad to worse, as Near's obsessive nurse Mikami abducts him from the hospital, and Matt, Mello and L must work together to recover him.

(Continuing to add to my Death Note fanfic I first published in 2008. it's only a few chapters from finished after this, so I'm gonna finish it once and for all. We have to get Near some closure for all that I've put him through...

Chapter 1 has detailed content warning info, so be sure to read the author's note!)

Read it here on AO3!

Read it here on FFN!

[god-of-this-new-blog]

Death note characters draw themselves — inspired by @ponury-grajek and the extra bit in the manga about Misa drawing!

[morphinejunkie]

hii how are you? i hope you’re doing well :) i really love your fanfic crush, i’m writing a mello fanfic myself, but i’m having such a hard time capturing his essence, sometimes i get carried away writing him but then i realize it’s not really accurate, i either make him too angry, too much this, too much that, idk, do you have any tips for me? (only if you want, i just really love how you portray him, i think it’s really accurate so i thought what’s better than to ask you?) <3 ✨🌸

thank you very much!

mello was a character i struggled to write at first too. he’s a delicate tightrope walk between intelligence, aggression, coolness and (in my opinion) brevity. personally i find that the hardest thing is striking a balance that encompasses all four.

so i’ll break it down, this is what worked best for me.

1. use canon

the way i wrote mello, i referenced the original manga (and voice/diction in the dub anime) a lot. i would first listen to his lines and try to internalize his voice. and then i would study his body language in his panels and try to shift that body language and attitude into whatever scenario i’m writing.

mello is a pretty layered character, which i think a lot of people struggle with. he plays up the characteristics that people often associate with him (i.e. in the call with the president, he acts taunting and brash) when on his own turf he’s actually very calculating and careful (i.e. any scene in the mafia - he’s often staring into space, sprawled into a relaxed but aggressive position, and thinking).

i think a big thing to remember too is that mello made many decisions in canon that need to be backed up to create a holistic view of who he is. reverse-engineering mello’s character from his actions was a huge part of how i developed my mello as well - “why did mello do this? what motivations were urging him to do the thing he did? why are his emotions this way while he’s doing it?”

general rule of thumb is: if your mello would not do the things that canon mello did, the way that canon mello did, he’s probably ooc.

2. take him as a whole - not parts of him

i focused a lot of my energy on trying to capture mello as a whole. a lot of it is meeting mello where he is, not where you want him to be. assuming he is fully formed, an actual person, and you are getting to know him, not creating him from scratch. when i was no longer concerned about making mello do things that i wanted him to do, and instead interacting WITH mello as a fully formed character, i found it natural to hear his voice. near the end of crush i felt like i was just documenting them with a camera while matt & mello did what they did. they moved almost completely on their own and i was just there to capture it.

for me, especially in the beginning, i would often “practice” by throwing both matt & mello into a scenario with no expectation or plot, and seeing how they play off each other, without trying to move them from point a to point b. i found that let me understand their characters better — better than say a character study or a self-reflection would. in fact the bar scene was that exercise for me, and ended up setting the tone for the rest of the fic.

3. figure out all the different ways you can read mello, and figure out which works best for you

the one thing is, even if you study mello and take him as who he is, there’s not a lot to work from off the original series. a lot of him is further developed in fandom, and so there are various camps of interpretations of mello that are all equally valid & sound. i found that mapping out exactly how mello can be interpreted and figuring out where my mello lay on that scale helped me a lot in determining what i found was personally ic/ooc.

funnily enough this matrix was really helpful even though it was just a stupid joke post from back in the day. i really liked the way “mihael keehl” talked, i found it so cool and grounding. “priss” still exists though the details or manner of speaking has changed over the years, in fact twinky/glamourous mello remains one of the most common interpretations of his character which i personally rejected (i don’t think it reflects his body language in canon at all). “batshit” mello is time and place for me, but ultimately, not how i like to write him (as it only explains some of his actions in canon but not all).

of course writing mello in the end is wholly depends on your personal preference - you could do all of this and still end up with a different vision of mello as i did. as long as he is fully fleshed out to you, the details don’t matter.

[keijislove]

𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐬/𝐨 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐲

𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃: YES | NO

𝑾𝑨𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮(𝒔): 𝘴𝘶𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘴𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘴...

YAGAMI LIGHT

GIF by jesimahcah

I feel like pre-Kira Light would actually be a super sweet and caring boyfriend

If his s/o is shy they can be assured he’s going to leave absolutely no chance to tease them about it

He finds it absolutely adorable how shy they are, and would probably tease them about it even before they got together

If someone, however, made fun of his s/o’s shyness (other than him ofc) man would be ready to throw hands

But of course, he doesn’t, instead choosing to let his mouth curl into a painfully scary smile as he asks them to repeat their jab at his s/o’s shyness, which seems enough for them to stutter out an apology and run away

Though pre-Kira Light would always respect his s/o’s boundaries and never force them into anything, their shyness would awaken a slightly sadistic side to Kira-Light

He enjoyed immensely watching his s/o squirm and struggle to find words even in simple everyday occasions

Often in the bedroom, he’d play dumb and get his s/o to tell him exactly what it was they wanted, their stuttering and blushing being a huge turn on for him

“Tell me where you want me, darling,” he’d coo calmly, “Use that pretty little mouth of yours.”

L LAWLIET

GIF by manganimae

L has had his fair share of quietness and keeping to himself, so he understands if his s/o might be a little shy around people

He finds it quite cute, actually

Most people thought his s/o was arrogant and stuck up when they refused to speak in public, but L knew better than that.

He knew they just struggled a little and were shy when it came to social interactions

L is known to be extremely curious and experimental in nature, which is why it’s a guilty pleasure of his to rile his s/o up in public

When the investigation of the Kira case was underway, every single time his s/o had a report to announce verbally, L would discreetly place his hands on their waist/ thigh and watch in amusement as they stuttered and stumbled over words

He quite enjoyed watching their face grow red from the contact

Although he can be a little shit at times, L would definitely never force his s/o into anything he knew they were uncomfortable with

That doesn’t mean he won’t tease them about it, though (just a little ;))

MIHAEL KEEHL

GIF by mido-kun

Will probably be a bigger tease than both Light and L put together if that’s possible

Mello thinks his s/o is the most adorable human being ever and it takes everything in him not to ‘aww’ out loud whenever they blush upon being complimented/ spoken to

This may sound odd, but Mello tries keeping them as uninvolved and out of his work as possible

The mafia is a dark place, and the world even more so and he doesn’t want to lose someone as precious as his s/o to this cruel world

Squishes their cheeks whenever they blush. I said it.

“Babe, are you okay? You look like a tomato,” he’d tease, feeling rather proud of himself for being able to make his s/o blush with his words as they’d quietly mumble for him to shut up

God forbid if anyone ever dared to make fun of their shyness in front of him

Mello can be quite terrifying when it’s required, and would most probably kill scare that person into never daring to look at his s/o ever again

MAIL JEEVAS

GIF by universalgojo

Kinky little shit, his s/o’s shyness probably turns him on rather than make him laugh

Would most definitely make them sit on his lap while he played video games, his hand never leaving their thigh, moving up and down it in a teasing manner, it being extremely entertaining to watch them squirm in place

Would be extremely annoying about it and play dumb, wanting to watch his s/o struggle for words as they increasingly grew more flustered

“Is there a problem, baby?” he’d innocently ask, his hand still on his s/o’s thigh, their face extremely red and hot, “Tell me what’s wrong.”

Would probably be extremely possessive of his shy s/o

Nobody can make fun of their shyness but him

Nobody can make them blush but him

His s/o better be prepared not to be able to walk for a week if they’d grown flustered at a compliment someone other than him gave them

Matt also loves to leave a T O N of hickies on his s/o’s neck/thighs/etc, watching in amusement as they freaked out and tried covering them up, disappearing behind their clothes so only their red forehead was visible

Would definitely smirk proudly at the little limp in his s/o’s walk and their horror when someone pointed it out

NATE RIVER

GIF by databackup

His s/o’s shyness was one of the many reasons Near ever got interested in them in the first place

He would genuinely wonder how someone could get so easily flustered and could shy away from human interaction so frequently

To him, his s/o would be a big mystery – one he was determined to solve

After getting together with his s/o, Near would probably be quick to figure out the cause of their shyness and would patiently listen whenever they ranted to him about it being quite a problem that sometimes hindered their daily activities

Near would actually be quite flattered that he was the one his s/o had chosen to let go of their shyness in front of

Would quite literally freak out anyone who made fun of his s/o’s shyness by simply staring at them with bulging eyes until they left

MATSUDA TOUTA

GIF by

Matsu can be quite shy and awkward in public himself, so when he found another person sharing these feelings, he was delighted

He’s such a kind soul, honestly

Would never make fun of his s/o’s shyness, just a little playful teasing here and there which he was sure his s/o wouldn’t mind

Like Near, he would be proud that he was the one his s/o had chosen out of a large array of options and would not hesitate to show them off in front of his comrades

Would constantly shower his s/o with affection knowing they themselves were too shy to initiate it

Aizawa would probably have to yell at him to stop distracting the others during a meeting when he was busy peppering kisses along his s/o’s jaw

“But they need love too!”

[lydiablack-m]

It’s Mihael... Mihael Keehl... |Mello x Reader|

Pairing: Mello x Reader

Warnings: Angst, heavy angst, hurt/comfort/hurt, reader is from Wammy's house, the story takes place the night before Mello's attempt to kidnap Kiyomi

Word count: 1.5k

A/N: yep, I did it again, posting for Death Note, while having a dozen fandoms to write for.

P.S. I don’t know, if anyone ever said this, but Mello OWNS the Leave My Body song by Fever Dreamer. The heavens said so, not me. Highly recommend to listen to it while reading as did I for about 5 hours in a row. 

"This work can be considered as the second part of the storyline. The other parts you may find here"

Another sleepless night, full of endless calculations, checking maps and plans again and again. Another night that he spends alone, sending her to sleep and listening to the beeping of computer signals from the next room, where Matt is working on hacking city networks.

 Another night... The air rings in the ears with increasing tension, the blood beats an uneven pulse in the temples, forcing to frown painfully and clench the fists, so that nails scratch the palms.

 He heard a slight rustle at the door and turned around. A young girl stood in the doorway, rubbing sleepy eyes with her sleeve.

 “Hey, are you okay?” His tired gaze, clouded from long work at the computer, began to clear up, and softness flashed across his face.

 “I can't sleep,” you muttered, leaning against the door frame. “I’ve been thinking...  Are you sure this is gonna work out?”

 His face became serious and detached again, he turned back to the monitor.

 “I'm sure,” he said shortly.

 “I'm sorry ...” you guiltily lowered your eyes to the floor. “It’s just... I'm just afraid of losing you, you know...” You looked up at him and your lips trembled. “I'm afraid of losing you and Matt, I'm afraid to stand on your graves and mourn your short lives, cursing myself for not being careful enough, not being attentive enough. I'm afraid to go back to an empty dark apartment where your voice will never sound again. I'm afraid to be left alone...”

 You gently put your hands on his shoulders, and buried your nose in the golden hair, inhaling the barely discernible scent of engine oil and heavy cologne. Memories flashed in your head of the day when, along with a bag of daily products, Mello brought an extremely expensive bottle from the store, which he stole from under the noses of the guards.

 Over the years of working for the mafia, he got used to a luxurious life, got used to the fact that he could indulge his little weaknesses, get everything that he could not have in the Wammy's house. Now he no longer had the funds of the mafia, but no one could take away his skills and ability to get anything he wanted.

 “Please... I beg you... Let me stay near you,” you whispered. “Please, let me help. If something happens to you, I will never forgive myself for inaction, when maybe I could have saved you. I beg... Please...”

 You heard Mello sigh heavily and covered your hand with his palm, slightly squeezing.

 “Y/n... You're everything I have, everything I've ever needed... I want you to be happy, I want Matt to be happy. I want both of you to live your long and happy lives. But mine... I lived long enough to make dozen mistakes and... I don't care anymore... If I'm going to die this time it will be just a part of the investigation, just a piece of puzzle for Near to solve. I already know, that I'm not the one to end this. I never was.”

 The way he said it, the sharp bitterness and doom in his words made your heart sink. You felt like something broke inside you. For the first time he accepted his defeat. For the first time, you felt scared.

 Your fingers gripped the fabric of his shirt as you clenched your teeth to keep from crying of helplessness.  

 “Please... Don't say it like you don't care about your death.” you wheezed. “I'll kill them all. I'll come to their fucking headquarters and kill everyone. I'll kill them for you. One of them is Kira, so I won't miss. I will kill everyone. I... don't want to live without you. If you die, I can't...”

 Your hands were trembling and you shut your eyes to do not let the tears flow. You couldn't say it, as if the mere thought of the possibility of a negative outcome was a betrayal, as if you were giving up on him.

 A quiet sob escaped from your throat, causing Mello to flinch and turn to you.

 “I don't want to lose you again…”

 You couldn't hold the tears anymore and covered your face with your palms. With every second it seemed to you as if reality was slipping away, as if everything was happening outside of your consciousness and you couldn't help it. Over the past few months, Mello has been distancing from you, completely devoting his strength, energy and rage to the investigation. You didn't interfere because you understand how important it was, but now... Everything had gone too far and you couldn’t fix it anymore.

 You felt hands fall on your trembling shoulders and Mello pressed you to him, nuzzling the curve of your neck. You shut your eyes and pressed closer, clinging to him like a life-saving straw, holding together the fragments of your world falling apart, breaking at the seams.

 “I love you,” he murmured into your neck. “I love you with all my fucking heart. If we were in another world... In another life... If we could be like this forever...”

 “But we can,” you pulled away, looking into his eyes. “Mello, we still can do that. Let's quit the investigation, let's move somewhere unknown, buy a tiny cottage in a quiet village and do some shitty normal stuff other people do. Run a business, buy a dog...

 Please Mello... I thought... I thought we could’ve become a family…” you timidly looked into his eyes. “You, me, Matt... What more could we want?..”

 His long searching gaze seemed to look through you, into the very soul, laying out each of its components, studying and exposing all hidden fears, worries, hopes. You got scared that you said too much, that you could damage the fragile connection between you, that you disappointed him.

 He quietly raised his hand and touched your cheek. His thin fingers weightlessly outlined the line of your cheekbones, descending to the lips. He touched the lower lip with his thumb and pulled softly.

 There was still doubt in his gaze, but you saw how his eyes were filling with calmness and the heaviness of tension was fading away.

 He gently lifted your chin and moved closer to your lips.

 “You know... in the end every time you appear to be right,” he chuckled bitterly, shortening the distance between you.

 You felt the metallic taste and the rough skin of the lips, bitten in moments of nervous tension. Your hand gently tucked a lock of hair behind his ear, softly stroking the place of the scar on his beautiful face. He deepened the kiss, pulling you closer by the waist and guiding your chin with two fingers.

 Lately, when the investigation occupied all his thoughts, there was nothing but a brief kiss, fleeting sparks of feelings, unconscious hugs, when you happen to sleep together. Now he was kissing you sincerely, demanding, tenderly, as if begging you for something that you couldn't understand yet. As if he was speaking in another language, afraid to say out loud what he had to say long ago.

 “I love you,” he whispered into your lips, pulling away.

 Now you saw in front of you nothing but a boy from the Wammy's house, the one you remembered so well, the one that shared his dreams and achievements with you, the one that beat the walls and swore to win Near during the next test. The boy who came to your room and made a promise to find you, looking at you with a long wistful gaze, before leaving the Wammy's house forever.

 “Y/n, I... I cannot change it anymore. We have to do it tomorrow. And we will. It's more than me, it's more than us. I know what I gotta do and I will do it. I'm sorry... I'm sorry that I cannot promise you anything this time... I will try my best for you, but... You have to know, no matter what's gonna happen tomorrow, I love you and I always will. Don't blame yourself, alright? You couldn't change anything. You're the best thing ever happened to me and I'll never be able to thank you enough for that.”

 He once again pressed your hand tight and quickly headed back to the computer, as if he was afraid that at any moment, something in him could overpower, break his determination.

 “I hid the rest of the mafia's savings in the basement. They will be enough to change documents and buy real estate in Canada. They're yours now, and... Take care of Matt, okay?”

 You walked stiff-legged to the door, realizing this was the end. You failed. Your throat was dry, your tongue wouldn't obey you, there was a fog in your head, as if you could pass out at any minute.

 “And... One more thing.” he said quietly over his shoulder. “I know, maybe it's stupid but... I want you to know my name. In the end... I don't want you to remember me as Mello...

 It's Mihael...

 Mihael Keehl.”

[pillow-anime-talk]

gender swap.

request: how do you think a female wammy’s boys, lawliet and light would be?

# tags: headcanons; gender swap; slice of life; mostly fluff; maybe angst or drama; also comedy (a bit); sfw

includes: light yagami, l lawliet, beyond birthday, nate river, mail jeevas & mihael keehl {death note}

— LIGHT

↘ Oh, she is definitely one of the most beautiful women in the university and gets a scholarship every year for her academic achievements. She is not competitive and doesn’t try to be; she simply has an innate talent for quickly remembering informations and numbers and uses it to get the best grades, and thus awards or recognition among professors.

↘ She is not very interested in relationships; many boys chase after her, but she doesn’t care at all. Brown-haired girl much more prefers to focus on her career and private goals (both in the Kira case and her job in the investigative department).

↘ Nevertheless, if the situation requires it, she will use her charm and grace to achieve what she needs. This woman will stop at nothing when her own life is at stake.

— LAWLIET

↘ I imagine she’s wearing these cool, fluffy hoodies and huge pants tightly tightened around the waist. She is the definition of a woman who likes to play video games, drink energy drinks, watch anime and sit in her own room (alone).

↘ Just like the original L, she also likes sweets and juicy fruits. I imagine her favorites are mango or peaches. In my head I think that she is a vegetarian and cooks well to maintain a healthy, balanced diet based on the right products.

↘ She is an introvert and it’s hard to make friends with her, even though I personally find her a very attractive woman. However, she seems to be unapproachable and therefore has no success in friendship or love.

— BEYOND

↘ She is a loner who devotes herself to her own projects. She has at most one friend, but she lives alone in a small studio apartment with her beloved cat (she is definitely a cat-person).

↘ She studies criminology or forensic psychology and likes to listen to podcasts. She has very good grades, but very rarely appears in class (he comes to universities only when there are exams). The professors have no problem with her, but they know that she is a rather mysterious girl who struggles with personal problems. Nevertheless, she does very well, although she is an outcast.

↘ That girl enjoys night time and loves spending time with her cat while watching crime shows on Netflix. She definitely has trouble sleeping.

— NATE

↘ Another nerd. The best student in the year, the best student in the field and the best student in the entire university. In addition, she is artistically and musically talented (playing the violin and piano, #canon). Although she doesn’t have many friends, she is quite popular and her white hair catches the eye of most students. She is very liked by the professors, even if she looks at the window during classes and does not write anything in her notebook.

↘ I think she is fluent in French, German, English, Japanese and Swedish. She likes to learn new things – she remembers everything so easily. And also has a natural talent for this type of thing.

↘ She doesn’t have a driving license and is afraid to drive. She’s definitely using other people for a free ride.

— MAIL

↘ Not studying. I think she found work as a graphic designer, game tester or digital game designer. It’s something she likes and she’s really good at it. In the future, she would like to set up her own studio where she would create games.

↘ I have a vision in my head that she is sharing a room in an apartment with several people and she is that girl who likes to party and come home late. Plus, she smokes cigarettes and likes to sleep in late – a real example of a bad girl you don’t have to worry about if your boyfriend hangs out with her after school on a project.

↘ Nevertheless, she is a girl who sleeps with her favorite stuffed animal at night and I have no excuse for that, I just feel in my heart that she has a little brown teddy bear without one eye that she got from her favorite grandma and always sits on her bed waiting for her to come home.

— MIHAEL 

↘ She has many friends, but only one true bestie, with whom she is perfectly matched in characters. She swears, she smokes, she’s always late, she’s sophisticated, she’ll take your boyfriend away if you get in her way... She does not like nosy people and gossip about herself, which is why she always deals with such matters personally, preferably behind the walls of the building or between the garages.

↘ She is brutal and emotionless. She has definitely not yet met a person who could heal this little, wishing for happiness heart. Currently, she lives alone and spent nights in the arms of random men. She doesn’t mind.

↘ Somewhere in the back of my mind I have a vision that she has been to the police station more than once for theft or battery. But she has a rich dad, so she gets away with everything. 

[lightyaoigami]

domicile || near's birthday || day 2: memory

rating: G | category: gen | chapters: 1/1 | words: <500

“Roger.”

Mello strode purposefully into the administrator's office without knocking.

“Good evening to you too, Mr. Keehl,” replied Roger, bemused. He had been in the middle of removing a bag of chamomile tea from his large white mug with the Wammy crest emblazoned on its side.

Mello straightened his posture. He couldn't back down now—not when he had stormed out of his room and barged into Roger’s office well after quiet hours.

He inhaled, deep and slow, through his nose.

“I need,” he said calmly, “a room reassignment.”

Roger raised his eyebrows. Mello laced his hands together at his waist. He almost started to explain himself, but thought better of it before his lips could move.

Roger placed one hand overtop of his mug and looked at his desk. Mello couldn't read his face; Roger was always a bit more taciturn than Watari, and for this Mello preferred his counsel.

He lifted the mug to his lips and took a sip. “Mm. Chamomile is so calming before bed. Can I offer you a mug of your own, Mihael?”

“No, sir. But, please, my room—”

“Is there an issue with Nathaniel?” Roger asked, speaking deliberately.

“Yes,” Mello said too-quickly. “He's horrible. He pours out my cordial and he puts my toothbrush on the carpet so it gets all hairy. He throws out my socks and cuts holes in my underpants.”

Roger looked surprised. “Holes in your underpants,” he repeated.

“Well,” Mello said. He did this sometimes, lying for effect. It worked on most grown-ups. Most people, even. But it didn't always work on Roger, and it never worked on Near. “One pair. It might—maybe it was the washing machine. But the point is—”

“Mello?”

A small voice came from somewhere behind him, and the back of Mello’s neck burned. He turned slowly over his shoulder to see Near inching past the doorframe into Roger's office.

“Ooh, tea,” Near said. “Roger, may I have some?” His voice had a tone of smugness to it that only Mello could hear—it made Mello dig his nails into his palm to keep from screaming.

“Of course, son,” Roger said jovially. “I'm glad you're here. Now, Nathaniel—perhaps you could illuminate some things for me. Mihael's underwear, for instance.”

“It would be my pleasure.”

Near smiled. Mello turned on his heel and slammed the door behind him.

[fan-therapy]

How would the wammy boys (and Light) take to a reader who dresses grungy metalhead style and listens to nirvana SOAD koRn and Slipknot and is antisocial and clingy to them also GN reader and preferably headcannons (established relationships because duh) sorry if it's kinda long but I want to know if they'd like me

Wammy Boys with a Grungy Metalhead Reader

hi! so i made these all SFW, also im not super familiar with the metal scene but i tried my best! i hope you enjoy it! thanks for the request anon <3

L Lawliet 🍰

-he doesn't really get it at first.

-he thinks its a little strange, the music you listen to.

-also, the clothes?

-he just wonders why you wear so many dark colors!

-on the personality part, he surprisingly lovessss the clinginess

-he doesn't mind having you clutching onto him and sitting with him while he works! he likes it!

-he's also antisocial, so he likes that definitely <3

Near/Nate River 🧩

-he loves the style!

-he thinks the look is really cool, even if he doesn't think he himself would dress that way

the music, though, is another story

-i'll say now that it's NOT a deal-breaker for him

-but he doesn't like it.

-he thinks it's too loud and intense and overwhelming. he's the type of person to listen to classical so metal is too much for him tbh

-just like L, he's also antisocial, so he likes that aspect of your personality. the clingy side of things isn't an issue either. he doesn't mind it!

Matt/Mail Jeevas 🎮

-oh god he ADORES you.

he's not antisocial so he might try to pull you out of your little hole, but he's also okay with sitting back and playing some games with you

-hes even clingier than you lmao...

-like, he LOVES your attention. he needs it and he thrives on it.

-he loves everything about you.

-especially your style! he thinks you look so cool.

-when you two started dating, he was introduced to metal for the first time and now he's fully obsessed with it.

Mello/Mihael Keehl 🍫

-i think he also likes metal!

-he listens to the same bands, goes to the same concerts, all of that

-when he was younger, he might have even tried making some metal music himself.

-y'all dress kinda similar too, so you go together really well.

-you would totally go to concerts together but that's not relevant

-on the clingy side of things, he might not always be super affectionate but he won't ever get pissed at you for wanting his attention

-he doesn't mind your antisocalness, he's not too antisocial but he doesn't really mind that you are!

Light Yagami 📓

-good lord you two are polar opposites.

-like, he can't stand metal music and says it distracts him and makes his head hurt

-but if you really wanna listen to it, he won't stop you. he might just put some earplugs in though...

-he doesn't mind your clothes.

-like, he thinks it's cool, but he's not nearly as obsessed with it as matt.

-he will never ever stop you from clinging onto him. he doesn't mind it at all, so why should he stop you?

-he does try to get you out of your shell though!

[mellovolence]

ok so i was thinking about death note earlier & i realised something.

so, we know that the LABB murder cases happened in 2002, and that light picked up the notebook in 2003. given that L was murdered in late 2004, and that mello & near find out about this in december of the same year, there's an overlap period of around a year where mello is still at the House in the aftermath of B's murders.

obviously L would've had to have contacted mello somewhere between late 2002 to his death in 2004, when he would have told him the story of the LABB cases in full. whether this conversation was planned or not, i definitely feel like mello would've frantically written all of it down in the aftermath - but in more of a rambling, excited kind of way (you know, L just told him something nobody else knew) that wouldn't make a great deal of sense.

stick with me here.

given this, i feel like there's two likely scenarios as to exactly when he'd properly written it up:

during the timeskip & his own kira investigation, kind of as a memoir to L after he found out he died

or, maybe the mello of early january 2010, with full knowledge of the inevitability of his own impending death, sat down to record his last efforts, almost as if taking a final stand.

out of both of these, i feel like the 2nd option is more viable, for sure. the dealbreaker for me, though, is in the details of what mello says in the first chapter of the book:

"i once called myself Mello and was addressed by that name, but that was a long time ago"

"i am your narrator, your storyteller, the world's best dresser that died like a dog - Mihael Keehl"

both of these very much come across to me with a definite finality, like he knows something's going to happen to him. like he knows it'll be a long time before the notes themselves are seen and published, hence the 'but that was a long time ago'.

it's like he knew he'd have no choice but to lay down his life in the name of catching kira - and not only can we see that in his plans, but his writings, too. he knew he was going to die one way or another, and that it'd be miserable when he did; to a point where he wrote it down in black and white as if committing himself to it. i mean, come on, he even recorded his full name in the scripts, despite going to all the efforts of getting rid of his photograph from near & all traces of his real name & his past.

he knew it was over perhaps long before it really was, but he still saw it through to the very end anyway. and that makes me really sad.

[princessofxianle]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

well THANK YOU for asking, you are the first to!

tbh ive been meaning to do this on my main blog bc I take these wayyy too seriously lol but ANYWAY heres my top 10 faves (in no particular order) that I can think of (tbh theres prob more i forgot about, or i wanted to keep only 1 per fandom... except tgcf)

Huge Spoiler Warning: for ALL of tgcf, 2ha, aot, AND JJK MANGA!!!

1. Feng Xin (tgcf)

do i even need to explain this one? loyal to a fault, just a cute lil puppy, one hell of a sculpted archers back, and he's head over heels in love with Xie Lian (but tbh same) i have a lot of thoughts about him on a daily basis on this blog (and also theres the #fx backstory au tag)

2. Noé Archiviste (the Case Study of Vanitas)

MY BABY

the absolute bestest boy of EVER... with a LOAD of unprocessed trauma (yknow the typical stuff like seeing your childhood bff get decapitated in front of you) and a lot more to come once we find out how he kills his boyfriend best friend, Vanitas...

i ALSO think about him a lot but over on @noes-pillow

3. Sejanus Plinth (The Hunger Games: tbosas)

hated reading as a child... HATED it... picked up the og trilogy when i was 12 and i was a goner. The funny thing is i still hated reading for YEARS up until i picked up the prequel novel then in 2020, and now ive read all of tgcf, 2ha, and more fanfic than i could ever imagine... all because this stupid boy (i love him) chose to trust the WORST person as his friend, rip sejanus my baby

the movie is v good btw, if you havent seen it you should

4. Xie Lian (tgcf)

*Taizi Dianxia Fang Xin Guoshi General Hua Xie Lian*

how this man survived 800 years of being physically unable to die and never went insane is a mystery i will never be able to fully comprehend (aaand im in love with him... hmm i wonder why...)

5. Mihael "Mello" Keehl (Death Note)

the chocolate-addicted blonde boi that was my first anime crush... by proxy I must also add Mail "Matt" Jeevas because they are a package deal

these two are also the reason i started writing fanfic so they will ALWAYS hold a special place in my heart

6. Xue Meng - (2ha)

*sigh* he's just everyone's fav peacock (yes technically the image is XM 0.5 but he had a cool ass bird so im using this photo bc its COOL anyway...) mengmeng is another one of my trauma bois who has lost next to everything and yet is STILL kicking ass and taking names #thatsmyfuckingsectleader so proud of you my son

also this might get me into hot water here but imma go ahead and say it...

this is what i wanted Jiang Cheng to be... (i LOVE my angy grape but...) through thick and thin, despite EVERYTHING, and even mo ran fucking abandoning him he will still call mo ran his "ge"...

fgjhdfhfdg THEYRE BROTHERS, OKAY???

7. Howl Pendragon (Howl's Moving Castle)

ok this one i just simply do not need to explain... if you think i do, go watch this whole movie and then there ya go thats your answer...

GENDER

8. River Song (Doctor Who)

aside from being the character that unlocked my unhealthy obsession with :) Main Character Death :) at the ripe ol' age of 8 YEARS (although Will Turner from POTC also helped on that front... Orlando Bloom my beloved) River's story was a stroke of absolute GENIUS from start to finish and i simply love how Alex Kingston played her...

"You don't expect a sunset to admire you back."

I just love the doomed ones, okay...

9. Satoru Gojo (Jujutsu Kaisen)

look... theres *gojo girlies* uwu and then theres GOJO GIRLIES... i couldn't give 2 shits about how he's fan-serviced (tho im not complaining) but have you SEEN the amount of grief pumped into that man? he could explode in a fit of fucking insanity at literally any moment and take the whole goddamn world down with him bc what happened with suguru WASNT FAIR to him and satoru has more than enough power to go apeshit... but he DOESN'T... even after losing so many of his co-sorcerers... he still puts on a brave face to the end in order to protect the childhood of his students even tho his own youth was stolen from him during hidden inventory...

SEE? The DOOMED ones!

10. Levi Ackerman (Attack on Titan)

i read the manga during my last year of uni and when i tell you i SOBBED at the end... yes ofc for obvious reasons, but mostly bc my little Levi loses EVERYTHING. He is the SOLE survivor of the veteran scouts. He's missing multiple fingers, an eye, and the ability to walk. He was the strongest (yowaimo) but wasn't even granted the mercy to die at the end of his narrative! Broke my fucking heart.

BONUS: Morph (Treasure Planet)

he's a morph!!! nuff said <3

fin

[twinknote]

top 5 meronia headcanons.......

FINALLY POSTING THIS ty for bearing w me anon!!!

housewife mello and spoiled princess near

mello is the domestic daddy of the relationship. he does the cooking, cleaning, and general house stuff. he genuinely enjoys having his routines and he's also just unwilling to live in squalor after sharing a room with matt growing up <- guy whose idea of cleaning is shoving everything into a closet/under the bed. near isn't necessarily incapable of doing these things, but let's be real. the man is a princess. i imagine he does do some cleaning when mello asks him for help and that he also does other things like paying bills and budgeting.

russian mello and french-canadian near

ok listen. i know some of you think that russian mello is overdone. HEAR ME OUT THO. first, statistically speaking, the surname keehl is most popular in russia, aside from the u.s. (1) and mihael (михаил) is also an extremely common russian name. aside from all that, he just truly strikes me as Such a russian (<- guy who is russian and also has a degree in russian and spent 4 years studying the language and culture) like between his no nonsense, independent, standoffish nature and his long blonde hair and sharp features? soooo russian coded imo

and as for near, to be fair, canada has around the 12th densest population of the surname river (2) but it does have both english and french origins-- "rivers" seeming to be more french-coded, but immigration loves to fuck up ppl's names to be fair (3) i have less evidence for near being french-canadian but i think it's cute and since morgan put this concept in my brain it has lived there rent free

near having the power to dom mello

we all know that on the outside, mello's a dominant power-hungry bitch. HOWEVER. a lot of the time those kinds of people fantasize about releasing power and letting someone else take the reins. and we also all know how obsessed this man has always been with near (for better or for worse). i fully believe that with the right tone of voice, near could tell mello to sit and bark like a dog and he would. not to mention uhh other acts. know what i'm saying?

mello never hated near. he hated himself.

it was never about mello being better than near or truly disliking him. it was always about mello's lack of self-esteem, security, and faith in himself. he felt like he needed to prove something, he felt like his inferiority to near was like a flashing neon light to everyone in the world and for that reason, he was like This dude Sucks and i'm so much better than him. and then he grows up a little and actually has accomplishments of his own that he feels proud of and creates security for himself so his nervous system is able to calm down and actually recognize that near had always been one of his closest friends and one of the people he related to and looked up to the most.

matt is an integral part of their dynamic.

listen. don't hate me bc i'm right. whether it's in a romantic or platonic capacity, matt has something that near and mello do not-- the combined power of realistic non-deranged observation and communication skills. he is the one they go to (esp mello bc yk they're besties) when they get into a fight and can't even figure out wtf they're fighting about. mello comes over in a shit mood and matt pours him a drink, listens to him vent, and gives him a much needed dose of reality and sound advice. and if we're talking about nearlymellodramattic, he is the glue of the relationship. mello is hotheaded and near is socially inept most of the time. matt is the goofy jester moderator of the relationship, keeping the gears oiled and helping everyone to communicate their feelings.

[thedetectivesystem]

Return to The Dark

M/M

Beyond Birthday/Near | Nate River Implied Mello | Mihael Keehl/Near | Nate River

Summary: "L is a cut above the masses." Beyond finds himself entranced in a young boy who resembles all that he's ever mourned and needed.

Notes: Trans male Near !! and he’s in a dress. link to the fic on the ao3 platform is on the bottom please support us on there as well and leave a kudos ! ♡

"L is a cut above the masses."

Beyond ran his fingers up Nate's thighs, which had delicate, pale skin. The older man had given the boy a straightforward white knee-length dress for his birthday, which he wore tonight. Although Nate was perplexed by the unusual man's gesture, he appreciated it anyway. Nate knew so little about the man before him that Beyond made certain that Nate only understood that he had once been one of L's successors.

"You still don’t believe me, do you?" Beyond inquired in a low whisper.

"Such a thing could never exist," Nate said softly, his voice breathless and clearly aroused.

They were both lying on Nate's mentor's bed, and the smells of tea, coffee, and sugar enveloped the space. An unpleasant medley of smells, according to Beyond. The man had been monitoring the orphanage with microphone bugs and had learned about Nate's arrival in the area. Until he learned about the chat between Roger, Nate, Mihael, and L, there wasn't much to do for news on L. After Nate, Mihael would assist L on a case to showcase his abilities. However, he was far more interested in the number one successor.

"Then explain how I know your name," Beyond teased.

The simple answer would be his legal documents, but given Nate's gender identity, this would not be the case. Beyond noticed that his legal name did not match his genuine name, and he had been in contact with the boy without raising suspicion for some time. He crept into his room and watched him sleep, or they would converse if he was awake. Nate had a lot of questions, many of which Beyond only gave vague answers to. He couldn't help but perceive the younger one as a lost love. He was so much like him, so much like A.

"It’s not like I asked, Angel." Beyond’s hand paused at the waistband of Nate’s panties. "What logical solution is there, Nate?"

Nate looked up at the man who was hovering over him. His heart rate increased, and his body tightened with each touch since he was not used to this type of contact. When Beyond's fingertips slipped an inch beneath the waistband of his panties, his virgin body reacted instinctively, opening his legs subconsciously and gently. The boy's face flushed with embarrassment at the actions of his body. Beyond chuckled and leaned in closer, anticipating the response. Nate could feel the older man smell his neck and then nip it impatiently, prompting him to make a sound that sounded like a gasp and a whine together.

"You must’ve heard it when I told Roger," Nate answered.

"And how long ago was that, hm?"

Nate nibbled on the inside of his cheek. He'd told Roger his name and identity not long after he'd arrived at Wammy's house, continuously telling the man that he was a boy and that the name he was stating wasn't the one he was saying. He was much younger back then, and he wondered if Beyond would spend so long listening for an unattainable goal. Beyond's relationship with him felt much more entrenched in the type of trauma that L had caused. A trauma bond would not be the correct word to describe how he and Beyond came together; however, it is unusual for a 28-year-old guy to project his grief onto a newly 18-year-old boy with whom he was waiting to have sex.

"L is an illusion," Beyond started. "It's all an illusion; your life is dependent on him, on a man you've always despised but have accepted." His fingers slipped from Nate's panties, and his large hands hoisted Nate up before his fingers yanked on the dress's zipper. "If it all became too much for you, you could have died, and who knows who would have killed in your name after that?" Beyond mused. "Arms up, little one."

Nate reluctantly raised his arms. As he listened to and replayed Beyond's words in his brain, his mind flashed to an image of a memory of Mello. He was aware that his bond with Mello was much deeper than two rivals battling for L's spot; he never felt competitive, only lost in all of the loose threads of his connections with the people he cared about.

Beyond's voice interrupted Nate's thoughts, "Will you take me?" He breathed, "Out into the light?" He dropped Nate's dress on the floor, exposing the boy's body, although his most intimate part was still covered by his white panties.

Beyond's words made Nate raise his head slightly, but he didn't have much time to think about them as the man pushed him back down on his back against the bed. When he understood how susceptible he was to Beyond, heat surged to his cheeks, and his arms crossed against his chest as he felt flustered. This vulnerability was unlike anything he'd ever felt before. Beyond hunched over and grabbed Nate's wrists, exposing his chest, before pinning them against the pillows. His face was inches from Nate's, and their bodies were pressing together.

"May I ask you a question this time?" Nate queried.

"Ask away, Angel."

"How did you get in here?"

"Explaining my ways may be for another time, darling." His broad hands released their hold on Nate's wrists, gliding down his thin arms before they traveled to his small breasts. Nate gasped at the sensations as Beyond softly grasped his left breast and gave him a firm neck kiss.

“Now.” Beyond reached down to touch Nate's panties waistband while looking the younger boy in the eyes, their foreheads pressed together.

"What are you waiting for?"