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totaldramafan-lauri · 5 years ago

Text

The Far Side

It’s. Finally. Done.

Dear god.....OK, so....this was supposed to be like Dancing With A Stranger - short side thing as a break from the other one I was working on.....but it just.....got WAY outta control. XD

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t, like.....a LOT longer than Focused On Her or anything. The reason it took soooooo much longer to write is that a lot of crap kept happening IRL that stressed me out to the point where I couldn’t write, or could only work on it in very short doses some days. I skipped a lot of days, unlike with FOH which I was working on daily. They’re actually about the same length, I’d say...but FOH had more stuff in it, definitely.

I think the reason this got outta hand was that, unlike Dancing With A Stranger, where I only went up to the first chorus, I actually went through the whole song here, thinking “It’ll be fine, I’ll just make the segments moderately short!”

......Sometimes I forget just how flipping detail-oriented I am. >__>

The song this fic is based on is “The Far Side” by Aviators, BTW. I heard it one day after being reminded of a certain AU from Discord....an AU based on a concept that I really really like. The song reminded me of it, and......I-I couldn’t resist. >/////>

Despite the fact that I was stressed a lot of the time while writing, I really did try to make this the best that I could. I don’t think this is my best work, but I did enjoy making the dialogue, as usual.....I-I really hope it’s good enough! >///////<

I will warn you, however, that this doesn’t have as much of a story as my other fics. It mainly consists of two characters talking. If that isn’t your thing, you might not wanna read.

WARNING: Implied yandere and very light N/S/F/W!

--- Where'd you get the notion you're only human? You know there's a dark place that will make you something more... ---

How'd you get into this situation?

Oh yeah, you were pressured into it. "It'll be fun", they said. "No one's been in here for decades, maybe we'll find something," they said.

Why couldn't you show some backbone? If you did, maybe you wouldn't be here right now. All you could feel were two things: regret, and fear. You were alone, wrapped in darkness, with no noise to distract you from your thoughts...and the only light being from the candle you were holding.

You couldn't believe you had gotten separated from them. How could you let that happen? You were so stupid...Your group had been small, just you and four other people, each with a candle. You had heard the rumors of the place you were in being haunted...of people hearing voices whenever they'd dare to enter. The last person who tried to search there went in alone, and never came out. No one had gone in there since....not until your thrill-seeking friend and their friends caught word of it. Not that any of them actually believed in...ghosts...but a spooky location that drove its last residents to possible insanity? They should've backed out. And they should've known better than to bring you with them.

But here you were, terrified out of your mind in this dark, unfamiliar place. You didn't know how you had gotten separated...one moment, you were trailing behind them as they wandered down one of the old hallways, and you thought you had followed them into a room, but...maybe it was a different room? You could've sworn you had seen them go into this one, but your eyes didn't deceive you. There was only one light in here: yours.

You frantically called out your friend's name, getting no answer. You called out the names of the others, desperate for some response, but there was still only silence. You felt a lump start to form in your throat, tears coming to your eyes. You were starting to panic.

And then, suddenly, you felt something softly touch your shoulder...and you thought you heard laughter.

--- I could sell a one-way to absolution To the wholly abstract where we'll never drift back ashore ---

You gasped and flinched, your free hand immediately going to the place you had felt the touch, but finding nothing. Oh no...you were getting delirious, weren't you? Or was this some sort of cruel joke?

You yelled out your friend's name again. "Th-this isn't funny!" you shouted, your voice shaking, "S-stop it!"

It was then that you heard the laughter again...a soft giggle, echoing through the room. You began shaking more. "C-come out..." you said, your voice getting weaker, "...P-please..."

"Poor lost little doll...Don't worry, you're not alone~"

You felt your heart skip a beat when you heard an unfamiliar voice. Was there someone else in the room? There had to be...but where were they? You frantically moved the hand that was holding the candle all around you, looking everywhere you could see. "Wh-who's there!?" you shouted, "Wh-where-!?"

"Awww, sorry, but you're not gonna see anything...not with that candle you're holdin'~"

You stepped back in panic when you heard the voice again, and double-checked around the room. You saw no one. No one...there was no one here. This couldn't be real...you had to be hearing things. You were going crazy, and had to get out of there as soon as possible.

You shook your head, trying to regain the little composure you had left before. "No...no..." you muttered under your breath.

That's when you heard the door close behind you, softly, as if it had been pushed by a gust of wind. You jolted and turned towards it, seeing that it was indeed shut. You let out a startled yelp and practically started hyperventilating. How did that happen? There was no one else around who could've done that! In panic, you shouted your friend's name again, hoping that they were outside the door...but the only answer you got was more giggling.

"What's wrong, doll? Why do ya look so scared~? I just want’cha to stay a while...~"

It wasn't real. There was no way this was happening. There was no way...they were right...

"Ghosts don't like light!" one of the people in your group had said, "We should all bring a candle."

You hadn't believed them. There was no way that the place was really, honestly haunted, right? It was just a rumor. Just a way to get a rise out of people. But still, the idea of possible danger had caused your friend to shake with excitement, so you went along with them. It wouldn't be so bad, you thought. It was just an old, abandoned house...nothing else...

Nothing else...

You darted for the door, reaching for the knob with your free hand, and opened it, looking back into the hallway. You cried out for your group.

"It's better that you're not with them anymore..."

"S-stop!" you shouted in panic, hitting your head against the door.

"No one can bother you anymore~" the voice practically purred, right in your ear. You felt a light touch on your shoulder again, "Everything will be OK~..."

"STOP!" you shrieked, hitting your head again before bolting down the hallway as fast as you could. You didn't remember which way you had come, and your limited vision didn't help that at all. But you just wanted to get as far away from that room as possible. You could try and backtrack once you could think straight again.

You turned a corner, trying your best not to drop your candle out of your shaking hand. Why did this place have to be so dang big? Why did people build such big houses? If it was smaller, maybe someone could've heard you scream...and someone could come help you, and comfort you, tell you it's just in your head...

You ran past a few doors, not bothering to stop to check them. Then you reached a flight of stairs. It hit you that maybe your group had gone up there, and that's why they didn't hear you. So, you trudged up the stairs, panting heavily from running.

As much as you hated it, it wasn't long until you had to stop to catch your breath. You leaned against a wall for balance. You were far enough away from that room now, right? You tried to straighten out your thoughts, but it was hard when you were still recovering from such a rush of adrenaline...You had to calm down.

"Why are you still tryin' to look for them? They're not gonna help you!"

There was the voice again, echoing through the hallway you were now in. Your eyes widened and you instinctively tried to start running again, but you had no energy left, so it was more like a fast walk. You really needed to get in better shape.

"Or is it me? Are you tryin' to get away from me, hmmm?"

"G-go...away..." you protested weakly, speaking more to yourself.

"But I just wanna talk, that's all~"

"S-stop..." you panted. You stopped walking and started pulling at your hair, whining pitifully. "I-it's not real...y-you're not real...s-stop!"

Whenever you acted like this...like a scared child...you would occasionally get pity from others, but usually, you'd get told to grow up and act tougher. But that never worked. Every time you tried to toughen up, you'd always fail miserably...Maybe that's why you had agreed to come here - to prove you weren't afraid. But now, you once again failed, and reverted back to your natural state. Timid, and a nervous wreck. A victim to the voices in your head.

You just wanted it to stop...

Silence filled the hallway for a moment, as you stood there stiffly with your eyes squeezed shut...and then, you felt something trail up your back. It was a gentle touch, soft as the wind. You flinched as it reached your shoulder, slowly trailing over it.

"How real did that feel, doll~?"

This...was not in your head.

--- I've been living on the far side I've been leaving footprints in your mind ---

"I did tell you ya weren't alone! You should'a believed me~"

The voice echoed, every word coming out smooth as butter. It was a feminine voice, sickeningly sweet yet playful, laced with a slight accent.

Your body had become frozen in fear, like a deer in headlights. It was as if your mind had stopped working. You couldn't deny it. You couldn't come up with any explanation. That touch was real...you couldn't have made that up.

"I really am here...ya can't see me, not right now...but I promise, I am~..."

You opened your mouth, and all that came out was a tiny squeak. You couldn't bring yourself to do anything else. You didn't wanna open your eyes and see no one there. You didn't wanna believe this was happening. There was a creeping sense of dread building in your gut as you gathered the facts as best you could. You were in the presence of someone you couldn't see. And whoever this was...had the ability to touch you.

You felt like you were truly in danger.

You almost wished that it was all in your head at that point. Your fear allowed you to move again, shaking your head and taking a few steps back.

"Skittish little kitten, arent'cha? C'mon, don't be like that~"

There was another soft touch, felt all around you...like a pair of arms wrapping around you from behind. You gasped, your body stiffening once again. You wanted to run away, but you knew you couldn't. Whatever this force was would keep following you. And this feeling of being held in place...you knew you could easily break free, but for some reason, you couldn't. Was it fear? Did you not want to agitate...whatever or whoever this was?

The voice spoke again, right in your ear. "Shhhh...just relax...Everything will be OK, as long as you're with me..."

A shiver raced up your spine at the sound. A tone of voice that would normally be considered...soothing...Was this being trying to calm you down, or was it a trick? If there was anything you wanted more than anything, it was to be assured you were OK...but you felt like you shouldn't let your guard down...Still, maybe it wouldn't hurt to try talking to it...

You gulped before attempting to speak again. "Y-you...A-are you a...a...?"

"A ghost? Is that what you're tryin' to say?" There was a giggle. "Well, what else can I be~?"

So it was true...Everything you heard was true. There really were ghosts in this place...and you were in the arms of one. What could you even do next? You gulped again, feeling how dry your mouth was from all the yelling. If you ran, you'd just be followed. If you left, you'd feel guilty that you'd be leaving your friend and the others inside. But maybe they'd already left without you? Where were they? You knew you had to find them...but how?

"But I don't wanna scare you...I never did," the voice echoed into your ear again, "Maybe a rattle ya a little, but not too much...All I wanted was to talk to you...And hold ya, mmmm, just like this..." You felt something rest on your shoulder. "From when I first saw you, I knew that's what I wanted...I'd never seen someone look so lonely in a group before...I could tell, those other guys didn't care about ya at all. They would've easily left ya in the dust if they wanted...And someone like you, so small, so cute, deserves much better...So I just had to take you away~"

You took in every word you heard with disbelief...It wasn't the kind of thing you expected to hear from a ghost. It - she - thought you were...lonely? And wanted to help you?

You weren't lonely, though, were you? You had friends. No matter how different they are, they still talked to you. They wouldn't have brought you here if they didn't like you, right?

"Y-you're wrong...about them..." you said, voice shaking, "Th-they're my friends, and they wouldn't...l-leave me. Y-you don't know them..."

"I know their TYPE, though," she replied, "Always excited about the next big thrill...Not ever wantin' to stop and take a breather...Puttin' their dreams above anyone who cares about 'em. The second you start fallin' behind, they don't look back to see if you're still there...They'd happily leave ya behind, waitin' for them to come back for you..."

"Th-they wouldn't-!"

"Shhh...I saw. They never looked back to check on you...They didn't even care about how spooked ya looked...It was so sad! Trust me, doll...ya might not think you can do better, but you can..."

There was a trace of irritation in her voice as she talked about your group. You were about to disagree again, but then you thought about it...You didn't wanna come here, but they had made you. And you couldn't say no to your friend. It had always been like that...you were always going along with whatever you were told, because you were scared of saying no. But what did they do in return?

You were constantly stressed out, and they didn't try to understand you. They never slowed down for you. But...you never minded. You didn't wanna feel like a burden.

She was wrong...you really couldn't do better...And you didn't want to! They liked you! It was fine! You were fine!

"Are your feet tired, after our game~?" she asked you, interrupting your thoughts, "You're in luck~" You felt her let go of you. You shivered, realizing how odd it felt. "Two doors down on the left, doll...That's my room~...Go there if you wanna take a break, OK?"

She was right...your feet were aching. You really wanted to sit down. You were not used to running that much, and your body was crying out in exhaustion. It was really starting to dawn on you that maybe this ghost really didn't want to hurt you...maybe she was telling the truth. But it could also be a trap...

"I...should really keep looking..." you protested weakly.

You felt something brush against your back, softly, trying to push you forward.

"Awwww, but it doesn't have to be too long...C'mon~"

"B-but..." your voice trailed off, and you hesitated. You thought of a possibility - If you stayed in one room, maybe they would eventually find you. If they really were still here, and didn't leave without you...they must've noticed you were missing by now. And if they did find you...then you would be proving her wrong. She'd get proof that they cared...and so would you.

You finally took a step forward, holding your candle in front of you to illuminate the hallway the best you could. Then you walked to the room she had recommended.

"Very good!" she said excitedly, as she was surely following you, "No more running...I don't want ya to waste your breath, kitten, when I could take it away myself~"

It was strange. You couldn't help but still feel on edge. You were lost, couldn't escape, and were resorting to following a ghost's orders while in her domain. This could easily go bad for you. And you knew that.

Yet, you felt heat rush to your cheeks...

--- Tell me all your secrets I could be your key to the afterlife ---

You opened the door and looked around the room she had called hers. It was a large bedroom, one that no doubt would've looked very nice without the signs of age everywhere. There were old stuffed animals scattered all over the floor and on the bed, and the walls were a pastel pink. It wasn't the kind of taste you imagined she'd have, but you didn't dwell on that too long. You were just happy that it looked safe.

While you were looking around, the door closed behind you, letting you know that she had followed. "I know it's a bit...childish," she said, "The girl who lived here before me was quite...innocent...and loving..." her voice got lower as she said those words, before quickly switching back to her normal tone. "But I don't mind too much~"

You looked around more, a bit scared to touch anything. She was right, there was a bit of a childish feel to the room, which made you feel uneasy. "Can I...sit down...?" you asked nervously.

"O'course ya can. That's why you're here, isn't it~?" she answered with a giggle. "Oh golly, it's been so long since I've brought someone in here..."

You slowly walked over to the bed and pressed your hand to it, testing its softness, and then you finally sat down, stretching your legs in front of you. It felt so good to be off your feet, after what felt like hours. You reached over and sat your candle down on the nightstand close by, keeping it close to you still, and breathed a sigh of relief. This was no doubt the most content you'd been up to this point in the old house. You still hoped you could leave soon, as you were still uneasy being in the presence of a ghost in an unfamiliar place...but you decided that this was better than wandering around.

Your thoughts once again wandered to your group, wondering where they could be, or if they'd already went by here before you got there...how unlucky that would be...

Your thoughts were interrupted by a cold touch trailing up your arm, causing you to inhale sharply. Her touches were so light, yet they always made you react like that, and you didn't like it. You didn't wanna keep being the "skittish kitten" she saw you as...but you knew you couldn't help it. That was just how you were.

"P-please stop...doing that..." you said shakily, looking down at your hands, folded on your lap.

Her chuckle echoed through the room, sounding very close, and you let out a small peep when you felt something on your cheek. Your hands went to cover your face. What was she even doing? Didn't she say she didn't wanna scare you? Was she...trying to do something else? No, there was no way...

"N-no!" you squeaked as you gave yourself a few slaps on the cheek. "Stop!"

More laughter filled the room, louder this time. She was clearly enjoying making you react. "Y’know I can't hurt ya, right?" she said, "Not that I'd ever want to~..."

Her touch moved to the top of your head, slowly stroking it, as if praising a pet. You squeezed your eyes shut at that sensation, freezing up for a moment. "A-ah..." you attempted to keep speaking, "But still...y-you can't..." your voice trailed off. Her gentle petting didn't cease, and for a moment, you felt your walls start to come down. You didn't wanna admit it, but despite how light it was, it felt...good. However, you were able to quickly snap yourself out of it and place a hand on your head, hoping it would make her stop.

Luckily for you, she seemed to let go from that. "Don't worry your pretty lil' head, doll~" she said, her voice a croon, "You're safe here~..."

You tried your best to hide the shiver that raced through you. "I'm not sure...if I should believe you..." you mumbled.

She claimed that she wouldn't, and couldn't, hurt you. But you were still wary. You couldn't see her. Yet she could see and feel you. You couldn't help but think that was unfair.

"I understand that it's not easy to trust me...but I'll treat ya well anyway, babe! I'll be better to ya then they ever could..."

She was referring to your group again, wasn't she? She really didn't like them. You were again tempted to leave the room, and her, to look for them again...but you wanted to prove her wrong. And so you'd stay here. With her...

You hoped you wouldn't regret this.

You chose not to reply to her that time, and when you didn't, she spoke again. "What's wrong? Worried about them? You're so sweet, carin' for people who aren't thinkin' about you...But I assure ya, they're just fine! I didn't touch 'em at all! I just wanted you, doll~"

Her touch returned, this time trailing up one of your arms, causing you to shrink back. "And now...I have you..."

Her voice had gotten deeper, and somehow, smoother as well. Your heart started beating faster, in what you assumed was fear. You tried to tell yourself not to be scared...that, again, she couldn't hurt you. But it didn't work...your heart raced, and you felt heat rise in your face. You gulped, and scooted closer to your candle.

"Calm down~" she crooned, her voice back to its normal tone, like that hadn't even happened, "You're gonna be here a while, doll...Ya wanna be jumpy like this the whole time, hmmm~? Or do ya wanna relax?"

You tried to find your words again, but it was difficult. Your mouth had gotten dry, your thoughts, fuzzy...and you didn't fully know why. Fear had never affected you like that before. It was almost as if...you couldn't finish that thought. "It's..." you stuttered, "...k-kinda hard to relax right now...Sorry..." Did you just apologize to her? What was wrong with you? This wasn't the kind of situation to be polite in! You mentally slapped yourself for that.

Another chuckle, this one softer and less sinister. "It's OK...just take it little by little. You'll see that you're in good hands...you'll see that you can trust me...because I'm not leavin' your side~"

It was official - you were stuck with her as long as you were here. Maybe it was because you didn't wanna be all alone, but, for the first time...that thought didn't scare you. Maybe...it wouldn't be so bad.

--- Feel the rhythm in my cold heart I could make your soul a work of art ---

"Let's start with something simple! Tell me your name~"

You fell silent, unsure if you should answer that request. You didn't know what kinds of things she was capable of. Could she leave the house? Could she look for you? You weren't sure, and you didn't know if it was safe to ask.

"C'mon, I wanna get to know ya better...I'll let you know me better too! Does that sound good? You scratch my back...and I scratch yours~?" the point was emphasized with a slow touch trailing up your back.

You thought about it a bit more, as you looked down at your hands. She'd made it clear what she wanted - not to hurt you, not to scare you...but to talk to you, nothing more. In fact, with the things she said, it almost felt as if she wanted to make you happy. Of course, it was hard to tell how honest she was, especially with the playful way she talked to you. You had a hard time reading ordinary people, so reading someone who's face you couldn't see...it felt impossible. But she wasn't leaving. You had to accept that.

And you couldn't deny that the opportunity to learn more about her in return certainly sparked your curiosity...

Just as you were contemplating it, she asked the very thing you were trying to ask yourself.

"Cant’cha give me a chance?"

You took a deep breath, hoping this wouldn't come back to bite you. You mumbled your name under your breath.

She repeated it. "Is that it?" You nodded shyly. "What a cute name...It fits you~" You felt your face flush at that. "Thanks so much for sharing it with me~"

"I-it's fine..." you stuttered, "A-and...no one has ever said that to me before..."

"What? That your name is cute? Or that YOU'RE cute~?" she asked with a chuckle.

Nerves built inside of you, causing your stuttering to get worse, to the point where you were fighting to not stumble over your words. "I-I...um...No way...Y-you're lying, like, it's a j-joke right? I-I'm not..."

"You're just provin' my point there, doll~"

You looked at the wall, doing the best you could to avert your eyes from her, even though you couldn't see her. You wanted to hide your burning face. No one had ever called you cute before...Even though you couldn't fully tell if she was serious, you didn't know how to react...A ghost complimented you, and you were flustered. It was embarrassing.

--- Just a touch of heaven Walking with the dead makes you feel alive ---

You felt something softly cover both your hands on your lap, making you flinch and look over again. Not that you really had any reason to...you saw nothing there. But, you could imagine her there, looking you in the eyes, as she placed her hands over yours...

...Why didn't that thought scare you?

She said your name again...Your name, coming from her smooth voice, echoing throughout the room...Your thoughts escaped you, and you sat there silently, not pulling away. For the first time in what felt like forever, you felt yourself start to relax.

"Doll...Have you ever had a best friend?"

You willed yourself to speak again, as if snapping yourself out of a trance. "O-oh, uh...a best friend?"

"Yeah! Y'know, someone you can open up to...Someone you can tell aaaall your secrets to...Someone you can trust with everything~..."

You paused, trying to think into your past. Was there ever someone you felt you could tell anything to? Or have you always been scared to do that? "...No," you answered truthfully, "I've had friends before...b-but never a best friend..."

She hummed. "Mmmm, that's sad...But I know the world out there is full of fake friends who'd never treat ya well..." she said softly, as you could very slightly feel your hand being stroked, "I'd never treat ya like that. I'd never make ya feel like ya don't matter...I can show ya what it's like to have a best friend~"

Her words were soft, and in a way...caring. Maybe you were simply losing the ability to fight back, but...it felt like she was being honest. Having someone to be there for you, to comfort you...a special someone like that...was that what you wanted? With your current friends, you were always scared to open up, worried that they wouldn't like you anymore. To have someone who you know wouldn't do that, no matter what...you couldn't deny how nice that sounded. But...was this really the right place for that?

You didn't know what to say...she had left you stunned. It felt like you were...melting. Maybe...you should trust her...even for a little while...

"Oh! I almost forgot!" she said, "Call me Spinel~"

And just like that, you knew her name. You repeated it back to her. "Spinel...?" your voice was weak, unsure, "L-like...the birthstone?"

"Exactly that, toots~"

What a unique name...Spinel. You didn't say it out loud, but...it fit her.

--- We could take a ride on the road to paradise You'll abandon your bones for a desolate home away ---

"It's your turn to ask a question now. Fire away~"

You were taken aback when she said that, having had no idea you were taking turns. "Oh, um..." You paused, trying to think. What should you ask first? She'd given you the opportunity to learn more about her, and you wanted to take it...Maybe knowing more would make you more comfortable. But you had no idea where to start. Should you start with her past? Should you ask her...what she looks like? If she even has an appearance at all...? Was it OK to ask questions like that? Would she even tell you the truth?

While you thought it over, she said nothing, but you could still feel her ‘hands’ on top of yours, so you knew she was still there. She was being patient with you...She really did want you to talk to her. It was hard to believe...

Finally picking a question, you spoke up again. "How long...have you been here?"

"How long? Hmmmm..." now it was her turn to stop and think, "...Sorry, doll, I lost track of exactly how long! It's been longer than you've been alive, though, I know that much!" she said, in a casual way.

"R-really? That long?" you asked incredulously. You supposed it made sense, with how old the mansion was. Was she as old as the place? Or even older? Had she always lived here, since she was...alive? Was she even alive before? More questions popped up in your mind, your curiosity rising.

"Y'know what? Go ahead and ask another one. Maybe I'll give ya a real answer this time~"

"N-no, it's fine! I'm fine with the answer I got!" you said quickly.

"But ya look so curious! Y'wanna follow it up?"

You were embarrassed that you were so easy for her to read. Again, you avoided the big questions about her appearance and her death. You wanted to try to be polite to her, and treat her as a person and not a ghost. After all, she had asked you to give her a chance, and you decided to do just that. "Do you, um...live alone...?" you asked nervously.

"Yes, I do," she answered, "But there are more of us. I do go out and mingle with other spirits like me sometimes...We like watchin’ humans, when we can find 'em...Lurin' away groups and splittin' them up is our favorite thing!" she giggled, "But most of the time, I stay here."

So there were more...That thought made you uneasy. Knowing there were other ghosts, possibly ones not as social as Spinel was, out there somewhere...and they like luring humans...You should've known you couldn't be the only one who's caught her attention. You weren't special enough.

Just as fear started to build up in your body again, you felt her stroking your hand again, as if she sensed it. "But don't worry. We don't mess 'em up...That's not what we like doin'~...We just like playin', and talkin', like this~"

So...all ghosts, or at least the ones like her...they were all affectionate, like her? You found that hard to believe, but you had no way of proving it false. And she had no reason to lie to you at the moment.

"But so far...none of 'em have been the special someone I want..." she added, softly, "No one wanted to stop and chat for long...and I never got to make 'em truly happy...But you, doll, you're different..."

Her words had made you think. Was that really all she wanted...? Was that true? Everything she said to you to calm you down, ease your fears...Part of you had wanted to believe it, and now, all of you wanted to believe it. All this time, Spinel was alone, and wanted a...a...

"S-special...someone...?" you asked.

"That's right..." she said, in a voice just above a whisper.

Her touch left your hands at last, but you weren't free for long. You felt her softly stroke your cheek, causing goosebumps all over your skin. You inhaled sharply at the sensation.

"Maybe I'll get to..." her voice trailed off.

Your body was frozen, and the tone of her voice caused a feeling in your chest that, for once, wasn't fear at all. When she didn't finish the sentence, you longed to know the rest. What was she going to say to you? You felt like you needed to know. "G-get...to...wh-what...?" you asked, your voice coming out breathier then you had wanted it to.

After you asked that, she immediately released your cheek, leaving you to bend forward, letting out a breath you didn't realize you were holding. "Whoops, I almost got ahead of myself! It's my turn to ask now!"

"B-but...what...were you gonna say?" you asked her. "Wh-what...?"

She chuckled. "Eager, arent'cha? Well, good to know you aren't scared anymore~" she teased, "Don't worry...you can ask me later! I'm not goin' anywhere, remember~?"

Your face flushed, and you looked down at your hands again. Why did you have to get so caught up in the things she said? Did it even really matter, if you weren't gonna come back after this? Your group was probably looking for you right now, and here you were, wondering what she was going to say to you...as if it was important...

But you couldn't help it. She was getting to you.

--- Have you seen the watcher's castle born of ice? It's a comforting hold for the wandering souls to stay ---

"You were forced to come here, right?"

You nodded. "Mhm..."

"So, did you know anything about this place before ya got here...or, perhaps, had you heard things?"

"I thought we were asking one question each...and that's two..." you said, in the most deadpan voice you could muster. You tried your hardest to seem like you didn't care, embarrassed about what just happened.

She giggled in response. "Oh, you! Y’know that first one doesn't count, since I already knew the answer~!"

Of course she already knew you were forced here. She had told you the reason she took notice of you is that she'd seen how scared you looked. Even when you tried to hide how much you didn't wanna come, someone still noticed...Thinking of that again, you realized that Spinel read your emotions better than your friend did. How did that work?

And she made it seem like...she cared about you so much already...It was an odd feeling.

"I-I know," you replied after a pause, "I was just messing around, that's all..."

"Tryin' to show me some sass, huh, kitten? Better watch out, 'cause I'm callin' the shots here..." she said teasingly, "...and ya can't hurt me with those claws of yours~"

You weren't sure if it was just your imagination, but the way she said that sounded almost flirtatious, in a way. You turned your head away from your candle in an attempt to hide your flushed face in the darkness...a futile attempt, for sure, given she lived in darkness. You attempted to keep calm while your heartbeat picked up speed.

"You OK there~?"

You subconsciously started jiggling one of your legs in your nervousness. "I-I'm fine...!"

"You gonna answer me, theeeeen~?" You flinched as you felt something trail up your chest very slightly, and you moved back a bit.

"I-I didn't know too much!" you stuttered, your voice cracking a little, "A-all I knew was that it was old, a-and no one has lived here for decades, a-and..." you paused, "...that people went insane in here...s-said they heard voices! B-but I was told not to believe that part...L-like it was a rumor..."

She chuckled. "You thought you wouldn't find anything? And how did that work out for ya~? How does it feel, knowin' that the rumors are true, huh~? And now that ya know not to be scared..." you felt her again, running through your hair, as her voice got quieter and whispier...more sultry, "Talkin' to me right now...does it thrill ya, doll~?"

Your voice got caught in your throat as you sat there wide-eyed, like your brain had stopped working. The feeling in your chest intensified at her words...it was a fluttery kind of feeling, one that you hadn't felt in a very long time. You didn't know how to react to it. You didn't know how to respond to her. Yet your thoughts raced, trying to catch up.

Does it...thrill you? Does she think that you like talking to her? Why would you enjoy sitting in the dark, in an old abandoned bedroom, talking to someone you can't see? You already had enough conversations with voices in your head, and this was no different then that...except it was way creepier!

...But...it wasn't. You could feel her there. And she was listening to you, in her own way...Giving you all her attention, saying things to you that no one else had ever said before...

...But no...there was no way that you were enjoying this. You were just waiting for your group to find you, that's all...right?

"N-no..." you attempted to speak. "I-I just- ah-" you were cut off when you felt something brush your lips.

"You're not weaselin' your way outta this. If ya really didn't like bein' here, with me...ya would'a left already, is that right~?"

You shook your head. "N-no! I-! I'm just w-waiting for my friends!"

You were too flustered to speak confidently, even though that was something you had an excuse for. You had agreed to come with her so you could prove her wrong about your friends! Prove to her that they really did care about you, and wouldn't leave without you! While it's true that you could leave the room at any time, it would be better for them to find you...

But...how long has it been?

Your heart sank as your thoughts went back to them. "I just...thought they'd be here by now..."

"Awww, don't look like that...I'll gladly let ya stay here with me for as long as ya like~..."

And just like that, the fluttering was back. Though a part of you still resisted her, it was getting harder to pretend. And hearing her say that to you...it brought you a joy that you didn't think you could feel. Maybe she did thrill you after all.

"I-I guess I will, then..." you said, still trying to keep a straight face.

--- I've been living on the far side I've been leaving footprints in your mind Tell me all your secrets I could be your key to the afterlife Feel the rhythm in my cold heart I could make your soul a work of art Just a touch of heaven Walking with the dead makes you feel alive ---

"It's your turn to ask again~" she said in a sing-songy way, snapping you out of the daze you had started to fall into.

"O-oh, right..."

You paused, trying to think of a good question for her. Something she'd feel comfortable answering. But all you could think of at first was the thing you were most curious about.

'What do you look like?' You wanted to ask her that so bad. You wanted to attach a face to the voice talking to you all this time. But...you chickened out yet again. Your mind went through every single negative outcome it could to dissuade you from asking her that, and it worked. You didn't wanna accidentally offend her if she didn't actually have a form, or if it counted as bringing up stuff from a possible past. And you couldn't help but think that...maybe this was a case where you didn't want to know the answer.

But still, she was so mysterious...and you felt increasingly curious about her, against your better judgement. So, you searched your mind for another question. Not wanting to keep her waiting, you asked the first one that came to your mind.

"So, uh..." you talked slowly, trying to avoid stuttering more, "You said that there are more...like you..."

"Yes, I did~"

"Well...where can one find them...? Like...is there a certain place you meet...?"

"Not really! Sometimes here, sometimes other places...as long as it's not crowded, where we can find small groups at a time, really! But, doll, y'know you could always come right back here if ya wanna see me again~" As she said this, you felt her on one of your shoulders and one of your cheeks.

"Wh-wha...?" your face flushed brightly, and just like that, the stuttering returned, "N-no, that's not it-! I-I was just curious!"

She chuckled, and you could hear it close to your ear. You let out a flustered squeak at the sound, trying to scoot away more and hitting the nightstand, causing your candle to wobble. You were immediately embarrassed at such a reaction. After trying your best to not seem scared of her, you just had to do that. All she was doing was teasing you! It wasn't that big a deal!

"Hey, hey! Careful there~" she said, clearly amused, as you felt her let go of you, "Did I startle ya? I'm sorry..."

"N-no, it's fine! It's fine!" you said quickly, waving your hands in front of you, "I-I'm..." you looked down in embarrassment, "...always like this..."

'I'm always like this'. You felt like you said that a lot. Whenever people apologized for making you freak out in any way, you'd say that to make them not feel bad. You never wanted anyone to feel bad for how you were...And that was the case even then. She wasn't just a ghost, she was someone who was being nice to you. And...you didn't wanna blow it.

Even if...there was a chance you'd never see her again...

"You really are such a cute little thing, doll..."

You were not expecting such a comment. You were about to disagree, when you once again felt your head being stroked lightly. "I really am sorry, y'know..." she said softly, "But I really just can't help myself...when ya look like this~..."

Her touches were always so light, it felt like they were barely grazing you. Yet, they never failed to make you go crazy. You couldn't explain why...Maybe because it was a sensation you weren't used to. You were always so distant, and averse to being touched...so, now that it was happening, it felt so foreign to you, so new...At first, you weren't sure if you liked it, but now...it was almost...comforting...

You fell into silence, sitting still as she pet you, your body relaxing bit by bit. "Do ya like that~?" she asked, voice still soft. "Awww...you really are like a kitten..."

Normally, words like that would be considered condescending...but this time, you didn't mind it. The thing you tried to disprove now didn't bother you at all. What was she doing to you?

"Stay like this for me~..." she crooned.

--- Oceans away from home Deep in the danger zone, I'll carry you ---

And so, you stayed like that, sitting with her in the dark old bedroom. And the longer you talked to her, the more you forgot why you were there. It felt like time had stood still. You lost track of exactly how long it had been, because you no longer cared. You just wanted to stay with her...

You continued asking each other questions for a bit, but even that little game was forgotten when she asked you what kind of things you like to do. You told her about your hobbies, describing your favorite things with enthusiasm. It was normally embarrassing how caught up in things you got, but with her, it wasn't. She sounded genuinely interested, and whenever you'd pause to let her speak, she'd tell you to continue. Even when she'd never heard of video games before, a testament to her age, and you had to try and explain what they were to the best of your ability, it never seemed like you lost her interest. On the contrary, she sounded very impressed that such things existed.

All the while, her feather-light touches continued grazing you...On your head, your face, your arms, your back...all over. Every single one assuring you that you weren't acting like a little kid talking to an imaginary friend...this was real. She was real.

The first time you cracked a smile at her, she immediately took note of it. "What a cute smile you have~" she cooed, in a way that made your heart flutter.

Her voice, which had once frightened you, now had a different effect on you altogether. Once you accepted her, you realized just how good it sounded...Playful, yet sweet and comforting at the same time...and able to switch to smooth and sultry at the drop of a hat. The things she said to you where things you had only dreamed of before, and her giggles and chuckles were like music to your ears. How could you ever have been scared of her?

She was like your dream come true...and yet, there was something missing. Something that increasingly bothered you.

As you talked, you tried your hardest to try and see where she was. Maybe she wasn't completely invisible to you...maybe there was some way you could see her. You tried squinting your eyes. You tried looking for extra shadows cast by the light of your candle. But nothing worked. You saw nothing.

The fact that you met someone like this, who made you so happy, but you couldn't see her...It felt so longing...

You tried to fill the gaps in your mind, by imagining a beautiful woman before you. She was tall, had gorgeous eyes, and wore a playful smirk on her face as she teased you. But, as much as you liked that image...that was only in your head. Was it right to project your desires onto her? Why did this bother you so much? You could still hear her, and feel her...that should be enough. She was a ghost. You shouldn't be expecting more...and yet...

"So~...what else do ya know about us?"

You were still sitting on the bed, having just finished a snack you had pulled out from your bag. You took a long gulp from your water bottle as you could feel her pressed against your back, and draped over your shoulders from behind, when she suddenly asked that.

"Huh? What else...?" you asked, taken aback, after you finished your drink.

"C'mon, toots, there's gotta be something else, and I can tell what~"

There was something you knew that you hadn't told her? What could that be? You thought you'd told her everything you'd heard, which wasn't much...but then it hit you, when you turned to look at your candle, still burning brightly.

"Light..." you mumbled.

"What about it?"

"I-I was told that...you don't like the light," you said, thinking back to what your friend's friend told you all, "That's why we all brought candles, instead of only a few of us..."

"Is that all~?" she asked you, sounding a bit excited.

"Yeah, it is..." you sighed, "When I said that I knew next to nothing, I meant it...S-sorry..."

"Don't be, doll..." she assured you, "I didn't expect ya to know everything..."

Was there something you didn't know, that you should know? Worry began flooding your mind as you thought it over. "Does the light...hurt you...at all?" you asked. You felt awful already...after all, she'd been around you for this long...Why didn't she tell you? You didn't wanna cause her any harm!

Once again, her chuckle rang in your ears. "No, it doesn't hurt at all!" You immediately breathed a sigh of relief, and a strand of your hair twirled in the air as she spoke, "You're so sweet, worryin' about a ghost like that...What did I ever do to deserve meetin' someone like you~?"

Your face flushed yet again, a sight that she was likely used to by that point. She was very skilled at making that happen. "I-I..." you began, but your voice trailed off. 'I should be the one asking that'. That's what you were about to say...but you stopped yourself. Were you worried about coming off as cheesy, or...did you not want to spill out too much of your feelings to her at once? That's what you always avoided doing...and now that you found yourself liking her, you were really cautious about your words. Opening up was not easy for you. "Th-that's good," you started over. "I wouldn't really call myself sweet, though..."

"Well, I would, and I'll say it over and over again until you believe me~"

You hang your head, looking down at your lap as you picked at your fingers nervously. "I-I'm not sure if I could believe you..." you said timidly, "Because...you don't know me well enough..."

"But I know enough!" you felt her touch trail down your cheek, slowly, "Enough to tell you're nothin' but sweet...Oh so sweet~..."

You didn't know how to respond to that. Yet again, she said something that no one else had ever told you before. The idea of someone like you - antisocial, cowardly - being seen as "sweet" in any way was a foreign concept to you. Normally, you would brush comments like those off, excusing them as being made by people who didn't know what you were really like...or, in some cases, you'd think it was creepy. But with Spinel, it was different. For some reason...hearing her praise you made you feel good, and...you wanted to believe her.

"You are right about one thing, though! It's true that I don't like that candle of yours~" she continued, as she twirled your hair, "And while I already just love bein' here with you...to really make me happy, you could blow it out..."

That comment caught you off guard. She wanted you to blow out your candle? Well, it did make sense, she was a ghost and all...But, if light didn't hurt her, then she didn't really have a reason to want it out, right? She should be fine like this...and you were fine like this.

Was there something she wasn't telling you?

"Can ya do that for me~?"

You tried to process her odd request. "Put out my candle...?"

"Yeah...Right now~"

You looked over at said candle, still sitting on the nightstand next to you. The only source of light in the room. Meanwhile, she continued petting you and playing with your hair, making it hard to think. You liked being able to see where you were...but if putting it out would make her happier...would it be worth it?

--- Skipping the pain of death I'd like to steal your breath and make you new ---

"Why...?" you asked.

"Well, I don't wanna ruin the surprise~" she said, before her voice suddenly shifted into a whisper, right into your ear. It was a sound that sent shivers through your body. "But I promise, you'll like it~..."

Surprise? Did she mean...it wasn't just for her comfort? Something would happen if you did so? But what...?

For a moment, it was tempting, and you almost reached for it...but something stopped you. Was it fear? Were you getting scared again...? You thought back to what the guy had said when he handed out candles to all of you. He had said to keep your candles with you at all times. Normally, you would've thought that was just so you could see, but from the way he said it, you knew that wasn't the only reason. You didn't really believe him, but now that you knew he was right, and the place really was haunted...was there something else he had known? You regretted not asking him any more.

And she wasn't telling you. You wanted so badly to trust her, but her not giving a straight answer made your mind go in a direction you didn't like...

"I-I don't wanna get lost in the dark, sorry..." you finally answered. Immediately, you felt a sinking feeling in your chest, hating refusing her request. You tried to shake it off, wanting to believe it was the right choice. After all, without your candle burning, you wouldn't be able to find your way out. You were so unfamiliar with this house, and it was so big...

The petting stopped. And unlike before, you didn't want it to.

"You won't do it?"

Her voice was still soft, but there was something...different about it. Something that made the mood instantly change. You tried to tell yourself it was just in your head. After all, you often felt like situations were often worse than they really were! You were fine...There was no reason to be tense.

"But why?" she asked, her touch still light on the top of your head. Your heart began beating through your ears. "It's so easy to do!"

"I just- I don't-" you stuttered, trying to put together a coherent sentence, "I don't like being in the dark, th-that's all-"

"You still don't trust me...do you?" she interrupted, her voice becoming firmer with each word. "After all I did...all I said..."

She'd never sounded like that when talking to you before. Was she...irritated? Your heartbeat accelerated, and not with joy. You didn't like this feeling. "I-I do trust you..." you said. That didn't come out sounding the way you wanted it to. You were too shaky and nervous.

"But you're not bein' honest with me. You're still scared of me...Ya want me to go away?" She completely stopped touching you.

"No!" you immediately yelped at that, beginning to panic.

"Then go on, I'm LISTENING..."

You had really, really messed up. She was mad at you. She was...mad at you...

"I-I'm telling the truth! I don't like the dark, and it has nothing to do with you, I promise! I promise!" you talked quickly, your eyes darting around the room in vain. You didn't know why you were looking. You knew you wouldn't see anyone. "I-is there anything else you want me to do for you? J-just tell me! I'll do it!"

There was no answer.

The sinking feeling worsened.

Silence filled the room, the only sound being from your thumping heart. "Sp...Spinel...?" you called out weakly. No answer.

No...this wasn't happening...There was no way she left you...She had said she wasn't going to...That as long as you were here...But now, not only could you not see her...but you couldn't hear her, and you couldn't feel her. It truly felt like she wasn't there with you anymore.

"Spinel...?" you repeated, louder and louder, panic rising. "Spinel!?"

When you had first encountered her, you wanted her to leave you alone. But now, after finally getting granted that wish...you were crying out her name like a scared child. After so long of talking to her, feeling her presence around you like a warm blanket, you felt so alone...so empty...

"Spinel? Y-you're still here, right!? I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

With every second of silence, you felt more and more alone.

"P-please...d-don't..." your voice started shaking more and more. "N-no..."

A lump had risen into your throat. It felt like you were going to cry. This wasn't what you wanted. Not at all. But...perhaps this was what you deserved, after denying such a simple request. If that was a test of trust in her, then you had failed. Now you were paying the price.

You messed up, like usual. She had been so good to you. It didn't matter if she was a ghost. She had been kind, accepting, patient, maybe even loving...and you drove her away. Why were you always like this? Why was everything about you so terrible?

You tried to fight back the tears welling up in your eyes as you leaned forward, putting your face in your hands. "Spinel..." you whimpered, almost barely audibly. You began trembling, feeling more vulnerable then ever before.

You deserved this. You deserved this. You deserved this-

Suddenly, you felt something stroking your head, and heard a sweet, gentle voice echo through the room.

"Don't cry, doll..."

The voice that had once instilled fear in you, was now the thing you wanted to hear more than ever. And feeling her there once again, assuring you that you were still not alone, no matter how you felt, and what you saw, or rather, couldn't see...the tears still brimmed in your eyes, but out of pure, sheer relief.

"Yeah...that's right, I'm still here, babydoll...shhh, shhh, don't cry, I'm here~"

The previous frustration you had heard in her voice was now completely gone, as if it had never happened. However, you were still cautious with trying to put together the words you wanted to say to her. There was no way she wasn't still mad at you. Just because you started crying doesn't change anything, you told yourself. She could just be doing this to calm you down, that's all.

But, even though you were guilty for cracking open like this...you finally realized that you didn't want her to leave.

You slowly lifted your head out of your hands. "D-don't...scare me like that..." you weakly whined, sniffling.

"Awww, did ya think I left ya all alone? I'm so very sorry...I wouldn't do that to ya~! I told ya I wouldn't be leavin' your side, and I meant it~"

Her words made you feel warm inside, like you were melting. She didn't leave? And she wouldn't? Even when..."I-I'm the one who's sorry..." you said, your words shaky, "I messed up, and made you think I-I didn't...trust you...Y-you have the right to wanna leave, it's fine, I-"

"I'm your best friend~" she interrupted you, while continuing to stroke your head, another touch softly gliding up your arm, "And I'll be here for you, when no one else will~...I'll never abandon you, no matter what'cha say to me..."

"S-so...you're not mad at me...?" you asked, hopeful.

"I'm not...Just a lil' bit frustrated at first, but I get like that a lot. Don't feel bad, OK? It's not your fault...I did jump on ya a bit...but you forgive me, dont'cha?"

You quickly nodded while letting out a long breath in relief. You were a little embarrassed for jumping to conclusions, but she wasn't mad, and she was still here. You were always so scared of saying no to people you liked, in fear that they would take offense to it. But she didn't...and you were so happy.

You wiped your eyes with a hand, sniffling more...and then jolted in surprise when you suddenly felt her touch one of your bare thighs.

--- Live beyond this divide I promise you the other side ---

"Kitten~..."

Her voice once again took on the lower tone from before...the sweetness was still present, but it was now coupled with something else, something...darker. Once again, a shiver traveled up your spine at the sound.

"Are ya happy right now?" Her touch trailed up your thigh, stopping just before it would travel under your shorts. "Or~...do ya want more? Do ya feel like something's...missing~?"

Her smooth words carried a lot of weight, and you tried to think on them, though it was hard in your current state. Something missing? Your mind once again wandered to the thing you wanted most - to see her. But you knew that would never happen, so you decided not to mention it. You didn't want to bring up your hopeless desire. After experiencing that feeling of panic when you thought she had left, you realized that things like that didn't matter. All that mattered was that she was there.

Hearing her voice, feeling her ghostly hands on you...It really did make you happy. And that embarrassed you, but you couldn't deny it anymore.

"I'm...happy..." you muttered quietly.

"Are ya sure? You can tell me the truth, y'know..." she crooned, her echoing voice sounding almost ethereal to you, "I wanna do anything to make ya feel good, doll~..."

It felt like you were growing weaker as she spoke to you, so much that the fact she didn't believe you barely registered at first. You just wanted her to keep talking...to keep chasing away those worries and self-doubt that had taken over your mind and made you cry shortly before. You didn't wanna think of anything else...

"Anything~..."

Her touch trailed across your thigh, moving inwards...You inhaled sharply and jolted in shock once again, pressing your legs together tighter. "S-Spinel-" you stuttered, trying to piece together what just happened...Even if it wasn't much, no one had ever touched you in such a way before! Your cheeks flushed brighter than ever before. "Wh-what are y-you-!?"

"I wanna know everything about you~" she crooned, as she stroked your thigh ever so softly, "All your high points, all your low points...all the good and bad things about you...all your secrets, all your dreams...Nothin' is too much for me, doll...No more holdin' back, OK? I don't want ya to hide anything from me~..."

Your breath hitched, and goosebumps rose on your skin at her touch. You didn't have it in you to tell her to stop, so you simply sat there, taking in the new sensation while trying your hardest to focus on what she was saying. "Wh-what's there to...say...?" you said, attempting a laugh, "I'm not very...interesting...! I-I don't really have...much to hide...!"

You were lying through your teeth. You hid many things from people. It was a habit to not share what you were feeling, and to bottle up your emotions. But you really did think you weren't interesting.

"I'll be the judge of that~" she said with a chuckle, "And I've enjoyed my time with you so, so much...So please, lemme hear everything...Anything that's eatin' at ya, so I can make it better~"

It was becoming harder and harder to think straight as she continued stroking your thigh, but you still tried to. Was there anything that she could do to make you happier? Was she implying...what you thought she was? No, there was no way...Yet, you got more shivers at the thought. What was she doing to you? And how do you respond to such a loaded question?

"I..." you said, your voice almost a whimper, "...don't think...there's anything more...y-you can do..."

"Just try me~..." she whispered, as her touch advanced further up...under your loose shorts. You couldn't help the noise that escaped you.

There's nothing she could actually do to you, you thought. She's a ghost. You can't see her...you can't...see her...but...

"B-but..."

"I can give ya everything ya want...Just tell me, doll...Tell me~" Her stroking continued, her touch lingering on your sensitive skin. If it were anyone else doing this, you would've moved away and told them to stop. But it was her, and though you were flustered at her actions, a large part of you wanted her to keep going...Despite the fact that you knew she couldn't go further, you just wanted this...

This was all you wanted to think about.

"I-I..." you tried to speak, coming out as barely above a whisper, "I'm happy enough...just, um...b-being with you..." You closed your eyes in embarrassment, feeling your cheeks get even warmer. It took a lot of willpower for you to say that. You never thought you would admit that. It was the first time you made it clear that you enjoyed her company. With that, you officially stopped resisting her. Regret filled your mind, and you worried if that was the wrong thing to say. Would it have been better if you had kept denying it? Were you coming off as...desperate?

"That's all? You're sure that this is all ya want, huh?" she asked softly, "You're too cute..." You shivered again as you felt her lightly touch your cheek, "Dont'cha worry, toots...As long as you're here, I'll be with you..."

You sighed, taking in her soothing touch and words. The way she treated you still seemed so surreal...She made you feel a way you had never felt before. None of your other friends had ever affected you like she did. It was as if...you were in love.

"...So stop lyin' to me."

Her voice suddenly shifted once again, becoming firmer. Your heart skipped a beat, and the calm you were in faded away as quickly as it had started. "L-lying? I'm not-!" you began.

"LIAR!" she interrupted, raising her voice. You flinched, your voice getting caught in your throat. She yelled at you...You didn't understand what you did. She said she wasn't mad at you, right?

Your breaths became shaky in your panic, but her touch never left you. She trailed up and down your thigh, gently, softly..."Ya say ya don't want more, but you do..." she spoke softly once again, but without the soothing air from before. The atmosphere had become tense, to the point where it seemed like she could lash out again at any moment. "I don't like bein' taken for a fool, kitten. Even if ya can't say it, I can see it all over your pretty face..."

Your heartbeat was racing, her every word hitting you so hard you could almost feel the impact. She knew you were hiding something from her...but you had accepted that what you desired couldn't happen, so you didn't think you would admit it. And what else was there? Your mind scrambled to think of something to say...but she didn't give you the chance.

"That's right, I know~...I know what you're feelin'...You don't wanna just be best friends..."

When she said that, it felt like time had stood still. Your mouth opened, but you had no reply. Your brain was flatlining as she continued working her magic, giving a dark chuckle.

"Hit the bullseye, didn't I~?" she purred, once again sounding close to your ear. All that you could muster in response was a barely audible whimper.

Hearing her say that...It was something that hadn't crossed your mind, but was it true? Did you really desire to be...more to Spinel? Is that why you felt so strange around her? Why you opened up to her? Did you have feelings for her? Did she really see through you so easily, that she could identify something like that before you yourself did? Or was she simply telling you how to feel? That small part of you that was still wary, told you that there was no way she was right...

But the way your heart was pounding...The way the warmth in your body rose when she touched you...and how empty you felt when she let go...

While you were trying to piece yourself together, she went back to stroking your flushed cheek, the touch on your thigh still lingering as well. "A bit tongue-tied? Awww..." she continued, "It's OK, doll...I know it's hard...You're scared of spillin' your guts to anyone, after bein' pushed around so much...But it's OK, I'm happy...I'm sorry I yelled at ya...I'm so, so very happy that ya feel that way about me~!" you felt something lightly press against your forehead, "'Cause, guess what~? I feel the same~..."

You couldn't believe what you were hearing. She...couldn't have been telling the truth. There was no way someone like her could ever feel that way about you...But...the way she talked to you, the petnames she gave you...that wasn't completely a friend thing. You had tried to convince yourself that she was just really playful, but now, after she said that...No. This couldn't be true. This couldn't be happening. Not to you...

"I haven't felt this way in such a long, long time~...I can't get enough of ya, darlin'~...You're wonderful~..."

You whimpered, your entire body flushing in a way it never had before. You felt like you could start sweating at any time. Was this...anxiety? No, you knew what anxiety felt like, and this wasn't it. Hearing her praise you like that...it made you feel weak, lighter than air...

...But that nagging voice in the back of your mind wouldn't shut up.

"Mmmm, so, so sweet~" she whispered, her touch wandering under your shorts, towards your inner thigh...You inhaled sharply, causing her to chuckle slightly. "You like that~?" she cooed.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Your heart pounded through your ears.

This wasn't right. You had only just met her that night. And...she was a ghost. You could never...

"Did that make ya happy~? Did I make ya feel good~? Awwww, that's great! Don't be nervous, let it all out..."

Even after you'd opened up to her, confided in her...you'd been completely blind to your own feelings. But she wasn't. She had caught on...and told you she felt the same. Through your amount of disbelief...yes, you were happy. She made you immensely happy. As you sat there, speechless, you kept replaying that one thing she'd said in your head: "I feel the same."

You wanted so badly to believe her... You wanted so badly to tell her everything...how she made you feel... But still...there was something missing...and a part of you remained wary of her, telling you to stay on guard.

"Do ya want me to keep goin'? Touchin' ya like this~?" she crooned, "Do ya wanna be distracted from all the awful, awful things outside~? To stay here with me, and think of nothin' else~?"

You whimpered again as she continued speaking to you, her smooth voice offering you something that sounded like a pleasant dream. At this point, you had almost forgotten why you were even here. It didn't matter anymore...

"Does that sound good~? Lettin' me chase all those bad thoughts away~?"

You closed your eyes, your breath quickening. "Y...yes..."

"Good~..." she whispered, that one simple word sending more shivers through you. "You're so good, doll...Now, let me in~...Show me you're not scared anymore~"

This wasn't right. But...it felt so good. You tried your hardest to push the fear into the farthest corner of your mind. Spinel wouldn't mislead you. There was no reason to be afraid. You took a slow breath, and slowly, you parted your legs.

"That's it~" she purred, and you instantly felt her brush against your inner thighs where even the lightest touch sent pleasant tingles through your body. You put a hand over your mouth to stifle your whimper at the sensation. She hummed, which let you know she was enjoying herself. "Didn't I tell ya not to hold back from me? Let me know how I'm doin', OK?" she asked, in an almost innocent way. "Take ya hand off ya mouth," she added firmly. You noticed that her accent got stronger the more aggressive her voice was. Another detail about her that you found yourself liking.

You did as she asked, and were rewarded when she trailed up further. The more she touched you there, the more you wanted it. Your body begged for more, to feel her more than you were. Was it not possible? At least you were lucky to feel her at all. On your cheek, she kept stroking, and soon, you were completely melting under her touch...a whimpering, squirming mess.

Your breath hitched, and without meaning to, you began rolling your hips against the mattress beneath you. It was astounding, the hold she had on you. "Y'know, I've always wanted my very own...pet~" she said, the amount of breathiness in her voice making her sound very exhilarated, "Someone to call mine~..."

Those words made it worse. You whined, squirming more, desperately trying to feel her more physically. You couldn't. The touches were light as ever. It drove you crazy. It was the best feeling of your life, but at the same time, it didn't feel right. Something was building inside you, but it felt...longing. "S-Spinel..." you breathed out her name, "Please...help..." you whimpered.

"Hm~? But I'm doin' all I can, babe! Unless~..."

She trailed up even further...as far as she could to your crotch. You felt an unfamiliar tingle there. You let out a small peep at that, being far beyond the point of resisting. You were so glad no one else was there...

...But it still wasn't enough. It was so light, just to the point of getting a reaction, but not strong enough to bring you to where you wanted to go. She was such a tease...

"Keep makin' those noises...I like it~"

Soon, it became unbearable. You squeezed your eyes shut and whimpered a bit louder, your desperation reaching its pitch. Your body was so warm, you felt like you could start sweating. Her teasing was driving you mad, and the things she was saying weren't helping in the slightest.

"Sweet little doll, if only you could see what I can...You're so pretty with your face all pink like that..."

You had always had an image in your head of this kind of perfect moment. The kind of intimacy you had never thought you would ever receive...Melting under the command of someone beautiful, sweet praises muttered to you in a voice you couldn't resist...just like this. Your heart racing, just like this. Your breath taken away, just like this. You, in your desperation for more, clinging to them, not wanting to let go...

In the heat of the moment, you raised both your hands in front of you...but there was nothing there. You grasped at the air, whining pathetically.

You opened your eyes...but you saw nothing. You saw no one looking back at you.

And you finally broke down.

"Stop..." you whispered, your voice shaking. When she didn't respond, continuing to touch you, you repeated yourself a bit louder. "S-stop...!"

She listened to you and stopped, removing herself from you entirely. You found yourself immediately missing her touch. "What's wrong?" she asked softly, sounding concerned.

You took a shaky breath as you came down from the emotional high once again, and wrapped your arms around yourself in an attempt to keep the warmth from dying. "I..." you whimpered, "I-I can't..."

You couldn't bring yourself to finish the thought. It was just too painful for you...too much to bear...But it felt like you couldn't hold it in anymore.

No matter how much you loved talking to her...no matter how much you loved the feelings she gave you...there was a desire within you that couldn't be satisfied. Something inside that craved things you couldn't have. And you hated it. Why did things have to be this way?

She had told you that she felt the same...and yet, you could never truly be held in her arms. You could never look into her eyes. You could never see her smiling back at you. You could never bury your face in her chest, feeling safe and sound. And you could never feel the magical sensation of being taken by her.

Even her voice, which you loved listening to...the way it echoed made her sound far away...out of your reach...

You shuddered, feeling your eyes well up with tears of frustration. But then, you felt her once more, brushing against your shoulder. "Hey..." she whispered, "It's OK, I'm here for you~"

"B-but...I can't..." you attempted to speak, while choking back the lump rising in your throat. She stroked your upper arm in what would normally be a soothing fashion, but instead, it only reminded you of your anguish. Finally, it was too much. "I can't see you!" you cried out, a sob following after. "I-I wanna trust you, and...and I wanna believe everything you've told me...but...I can't see you and it kills me! I-I can barely even feel you...!" you sobbed louder, "I-I wanna see you! I wanna see you!" With every word that tumbled out of your mouth, it was harder to hold back the tears, and they spilled out. You covered your face, not wanting her to see you like that.

For a moment, the only sound in the room was your sobs. She was still touching your arm, so you knew she was still there, but she was completely silent. It was just as you feared - she didn't want to hear that.

You shouldn't have said anything. You should've kept it to yourself. You were an expert at keeping things to yourself, so why did you do that? Why were you so needy? Did she think you were ungrateful now? That wasn't true...you were so happy you met her...

Why did the most perfect person you ever met have to be a ghost...?

--- Abandon light inside of you You're ascending now And breaking through Nothing living's ever true ---

In the midst of your regret-filled thoughts, she spoke again.

"Doll...Hold out your hand~"

Her words were soft and smooth as always, which surprised you. Was she not bothered by what you'd said? Did she not mind at all, even as you cried? You felt a bit of relief wash over you. You had been so worried about her reaction...like she'd take offense to it. But you should've expected better from her...After all, no one else had treated you like this before. There was no one else like Spinel...

You uncovered your face and did as you were told, holding out one of your hands in front of you. You gasped softly when you suddenly felt something lightly pressing against your palm. You tried your hardest to identify how it felt...it was light, yet you thought you could almost feel a softness.

"Right there..." she said softly.

You could feel yourself melting inside. That was her...you were actually touching her...It was a small thing, yet it made you feel so happy to be able to do one of the things you yearned for. "Spi...nel..." you choked out her name, tears finally spilling down your cheeks. You wanted so badly to throw yourself into her arms...

"Your hand feels so good in mine, doll~" she cooed at you gently, "Dry those tears for me, OK? I'll stay like this for as long as ya need..."

You didn't move your hand at all, savoring the moment. Once again, you had to remind yourself that this was reality and not a dream. You brought your other hand to your face, wiping the tears away as best you could, sniffling. "Sorry..." you mumbled, feeling embarrassed. That was two times now that you've cried in front of her.

"It's OK...I understand...This is hard for me, too~" she said, as she gently caressed your cheek once again, "I'm the one who should be apologizin'...I wanna make ya feel as special as I see you...But, sadly, this is all I can do..."

This was hard for her, too? Was she just as frustrated as you were, and just didn't show it? Well, she must be used to living like that...but still, from the way she said that, it didn't sound like it fazed her at all. Was she just taking pity on you? Still...you wanted to believe her words. Every single one...She really did make you feel special.

"But..." she said, "There is a way that can change...A way that I can be with you even more~"

Your eyes widened in surprise when she said that. "Even...more...?" What does she mean? Was there a way around your problem after all? You were immediately curious. It was one of your flaws - jumping to conclusions, getting your hopes up over ambiguous comments. "Wh-what's that...?" you asked.

Her answer was simple, but the way she said it gave it a lot of weight...and importance.

"Blow out the candle..."

You felt a sinking feeling in your gut. Once again, it came to that - your candle, still burning on the nightstand next to you. Your source of light. Your crutch. She'd requested this before, and you had refused. That had made her upset, and you hated it. Would you dare do that again?

You fell silent as she held your cheek, lightly stroking it. "You heard me..." she crooned, "Just blow out that candle, and I promise to take care of you~"

Your face flushed at those words. It was such a simple request...but what would actually happen afterward? What was she hiding from you? Why did thinking of that make you so nervous? You had told her you weren't scared anymore...but did you lie to both her and yourself?

"B-but..." you stuttered, not moving a muscle, "I...I can't..."

"You can~..." she responded, "We can have so much fun in the dark...You and me, together, alone~..."

"But...we're already together..." you protested weakly, "...just...like this...I-I'll get used to it..."

"Ya don't have to, though! Y'see..." her voice dipped lower again, sounding close to your ear, "I can give ya what ya want most~"

Goosebumps rose all over your skin, and a small peep escaped your lips. It wasn't just her voice, but what she said. What you want...most? Could it be...Was it true?

"W-will I...b-be able to...see you...?" you asked.

For a moment, there was complete silence. The only thing you could hear was the pounding in your chest. Just the thought of being able to see her...After you had convinced yourself it was impossible...You couldn't help it. Your body was acting out in excitement, and you couldn't calm down. "Spinel...?" your voice was a high-pitched squeak. You tried not to seem desperate, but her lack of an answer was making your thoughts race.

Her dark chuckle filled the air, making you shiver. "Why dont'cha find out~?" she finally responded, "C'mon, don't keep me waitin', doll~..."

Once again, she didn't give you a straight answer, and it drove you mad. She was such a tease, through and through...You should've known that by now. She always knows what to do to coax you further and further, until you're a mess once more. But this...this time was different.

This time, her teasing was making you...wary.

"Blow out the candle~" she repeated, "Do it for me~"

You wanted to obey her, and put out the candle. But...would you like what would happen? If it did cause you to see her, even in the darkness...Would you truly like what you see?

It felt like she knew you inside and out...but you two had only just met today. There was so much about her you didn't know. You didn't know what kind of things she was truly capable of...the things she could do in the dark.

What if she was...tricking you?

That one thought made you feel sick. No, no, there was no way. She had treated you better than even your friends have. She even showed concern for you. That had to be genuine.

But...what if she was too good to be true? What if she was actually...

A monster?

You clutched your chest with one of your hands, trying to keep your nerves in check. You had to stop thinking those awful thoughts. Being walked over all your life had made you a nervous wreck. Of course something like this would seem "too good to be true".

Spinel wouldn't hurt you. Spinel wouldn't lie to you. Spinel made you feel things you thought you had forgotten how to feel.

"Are you OK?" she asked, "Are you...scared?"

"N-no! No, I'm not scared!" you answered quickly, "I-I dunno what's wrong with me, but...I'm not scared...I-I don't wanna be scared!" You looked down at your lap, jiggling your leg anxiously. You hoped she wasn't hurt at all.

"Oh~? Then...are ya maybe...a bit nervous~?"

"I-I..." you began, but your voice trailed off. You didn't know how to respond to that. Of course you were nervous. You had no idea what would happen, good or bad. Even the thought of being able to cling to her solid form as she works an indescribable magic to you...was that something you deserved? Would you be good enough for her...?

Maybe you weren't just scared. Maybe you were also worried about...that...

"Don't worry about a thing...Just listen to me~" she purred, "Calm down, and let me adore you...Blow out the candle~..." her voice became a whisper, "Blow it out~..."

There was no way something big wouldn't happen. She was so adamant, repeating it over and over...and each time, it became harder to resist. The world around you blurred as she spoke to you. There was still a looming danger in the air, but you felt assured that she'd protect you from it.

You wanted to listen to her...you felt compelled to obey her every word...but your nerves were climbing, thinking about what could happen. You craved intimacy, but you were also afraid of it. If this really would allow you to see her, what would you do? Clam up? Become even more of a mess? You'd never done anything like this before...you didn't wanna disappoint her...

While you thought about that, your heart raced in your chest, and your breath quickened. No doubt, she noticed this. Her touch trailed down your cheek to your chin, gently tilting it upwards. You could imagine her looking into your eyes. "C'mon, darlin', don't chicken out on me now...I know you're excited...I know how much ya need me~..."

You whimpered in response, words escaping you. She chuckled, and you felt her grab your arm, as if holding you in place. You closed your eyes, shivering.

"This isn't just for me...This'll be for you~" she continued, "This'll be for your happiness...That's all I'm after, doll...I saw how ya reacted when ya thought I'd left you...It hurt me so, so much to see that! I never want ya to feel like that ever again...I never want ya to be...abandoned ever again. Those friends of yours, they led ya to me...and now ya don't need 'em anymore. You deserve so much better~..." Her sweet words swirled in your head, making it hard to think.

Your...friends...Oh yeah, that was originally why you came here. It was to wait for your friends. How could you have forgotten? How long has it even been since that had last crossed your mind? It felt like so long since you'd last seen them...You remember being so worried that they'd forgotten about you, and then you went and forgot about them. Why did you...you...

That small blip of guilt you felt left as soon as it had come when she continued speaking.

"I wanna give ya someone who will listen to you...Someone who will never leave ya behind...Someone who will love you, so you never have to be lonely again...That's what ya want, right~? So please...give me the chance to save you...I may be a ghost, but if ya blow out that candle...I can make ya feel alive, doll~"

Alive...That one word carried so much importance. And made you think thoughts that you'd be ashamed to share. Your body heated up, and you tried to stay calm. She was right. You never wanted to be lonely again. You had been fine being an outcast, but being here made you realize just how starved for affection you were. And now that you had gotten a taste of it, you never wanted to go back. You're not sure you'd be able to.

But it wasn't just that. You didn't wanna seek out just anyone to belong to. You wanted...her. Spinel. The first one who'd ever treated you like this. Even if it was a trick, you didn't care. You never wanted to let this go. As long as you were with her, you'd be happy. You'd happily play the fool for her as many times as you could.

When she finished speaking, she let go of you. You let out some deep breaths, your heart just about ready to burst out of your chest. You didn't have much time to clear your head, as you soon felt her touch your back, in what felt like a really soft nudge forward...toward the nightstand, and your candle.

"So do it..." she said darkly, almost menacingly.

Without a word, you opened your eyes and reached for your candle with your shaking hand. Once you came close, your nerves came back briefly, and you hesitated.

You didn't know what she was capable of. You didn't know what would happen. The warning you had been given all that time ago repeated in your head. Ghosts don't like the light. It repels them, and makes them harmless. Darkness is where they thrive, and putting out your candle would be surrendering to them.

You pushed those thoughts out of your mind. You wouldn't let someone else tell you how to view her. You knew her now, and you trusted her...

...And so, you'd surrender.

You breathed heavily as you finally picked up your candle, bringing it to your face. "That's it, doll, that's it~" she cooed at you encouragingly, "You're almost there~"

You could feel the warmth of the flame on your face as you brought it closer. It felt nice. It was as if it was silently pleading you to reconsider what you were about to do to it. You basked in the warmth for a few seconds, as you gathered all the courage you had...

And you finally blew it out with a single breath.

The room filled with darkness. You squeezed your eyes shut, shivering and whimpering softly, bracing yourself for whatever could happen. Your courage melted away as fear and regret filled your mind...but that didn't last long.

You gasped when something cupped your cheek. It was...a hand. Cold, yet soft and gentle. And unlike anything you'd ever felt before. Before you could react, a familiar voice spoke to you, sounding closer and more real than ever.

"It's gonna be OK, doll~..."

It was like a tremor running through your body. The warmth in your face rose, the feelings almost overwhelming. Your heart fluttered in your chest in anticipation. In that moment, nothing else mattered to you. There was nothing else to think about...no one else to worry about. You were right where you wanted to be.

You slowly opened your eyes...and your candle, now useless, was dropped to the floor.

#fics by lauri #yandere tw-////

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