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the-lemonaut · 11 months ago

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Look who dug up their 2021 Witcher doodles! These are specifically about book 4 in the series bc it's my favorite

#i still find them hilarious #if you think that's a lot you just don't know how many less funny ones i kept to myself #the witcher #witcher books #my art

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krysmcscience · 3 months ago

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Don't mind me, just slacking on a big Billford comic by making other far more ridiculous Billford comics and also some AU art (please excuse my slapdash human!Bill thank you please, also before anyone asks the art style is messy and all over the place because idgaf LOL)

This started out as an excuse to design a Bill Cipher-inspired "wedding" dress, but then spiraled wildly out of control. Various rambles and a bunch more human!Bill arts under the cut, including another silly little comic at the end! (Feel free to skip the rambles, I won't be offended. I know I'm bad at shutting up. XD)

I may or may not write some comedy stuff for this AU, which I'm calling 'For Better Or Worse (But Mostly Worse)'. While Ford DOES remember getting sloshed enough for one thing to lead to making out with another after karaoke, neither he nor Bill remember this wedding, At All. The Love God did nothing to dissuade them from going hog wild on their marriage spending, either, so it got...uh. Exorbitantly Expensive. As in, the grand total could probably buy the entire fucking MOON sort of expensive. (It's fine, don't worry, Bill's good enough at crime to be able to afford it.) Also, because the logic of this AU is mostly dictated by Rule of Funny, the Love God's powers are close to unlimited when it comes to matters of romance, but ONLY when it comes to matters of romance. (Like weddings!)

Want an empty human vessel to smash the soul of a triangle into for date nights or when it's convenient, or perhaps even when it's NOT convenient? Easy peasy! Want the marriage to be recognized in every corner of the multiverse from now until the end of time, thus making any potential future divorce nigh-on impossible? Can do! Want to buy an entire beach for the ceremony and honeymoon and in general, and totally not at all because it would be Super Hilarious to prevent any specific movies from being made on that very same beach in the future? Fine, whatever, it's not his finances he's ruining!

Does the Love God also provide special rings that just so happen to turn incorporeal as long as the "happy couple" doesn't remember that they barged into his dreams to bully him into presiding over their marriage? ...No comment!

He spends the next thirty years trying and failing to get in touch with either of them for payment. This is why you should always demand half the money up front, my guy!

Also it's absolutely a traditional Jewish wedding, because I like the idea of Bill demanding all the keepsakes from the marriage that he paid for, and being completely confused when one of the things he's handed is a fancy container full of broken glass. He gets it later, but in the moment, he thinks the Love God is just fucking with him some more.

Ramble over! Here's the full dress that caused the comic to happen, along with what Ford wound up wearing at the wedding (and begrudgingly agreeing to put on again later for Reasons), aaaaand also a close-up of Bill's ring:

I may have forgotten to draw Bill's hair floofier when drawing the back of the dress, lmao

Since double ring ceremonies have been leaking over into Jewish wedding customs for a while now, Ford also has a ring, but his is the much more traditional plain gold band. There's definitely a message engraved on the inside - embarrassing, cringe, or incriminating somehow - but I haven't decided what it is yet, so use your imagination for now. XD Bill, on the other hand, saw the phrase 'traditional plain gold band' and said "No Thank You" before proceeding to embellish his ring to his liking. And because he's a secret sap who adores Ford's extra fingers, the triangle points add up to twelve, as do the engraved stars. Yes, they're stars, not dots, I just got lazy. There's also six lashes on the eye gem, and probably an eye engraving on the inside with another six lashes. (Bill's got it BAD, okay? We all know this.)

Here are the initial scribbles of Bill's custom vessel in more casual attire, please ignore the wonky anatomy and the fact that I flat out refuse to ever draw him with a proper top hat:

He does actually need a cane in this vessel; since Bill tends to possess men and especially Ford more often than not, he's used to having a higher center of gravity when in a human body, so his ability to balance is pretty garbage. (He may or may not topple over with concerning regularity.) As for his empty eye socket, his bangs don't do much to hide it since he's so high-energy (dude is constantly on the move), and he also refuses to wear a patch over it, because 1.) why bother, and 2.) it's more fun to freak people out.

To better align with Ford's attraction towards the strange, the vessel was designed with super minor shapeshifting ability - Bill can look like a perfectly normal human, but he can also make the teeth and fingers sharper whenever he likes (which is mostly just when he's angry or being more of a menace than usual), as well as slit down the pupils or outright ditch the irises altogether. He can also have whatever he wants in the downstairs department, just because I'm an indecisive bitch on that front, lmao. Maybe he can have boobs if he wants them, too, but I ain't drawin' tits on no triangle, nuh-uh, no sir. His powers are otherwise limited down to what humans can do, because for some reason, the Love God doesn't trust Bill to not snap into Immediate Apocalypse Mode if he's given a physical form that's actually all his and no one else's.

Due to the body being all his and no one else's, it's also not really a standard possession so much as it is just...Bill being temporarily human. He's a lot more aware of and in tune with his human body's senses than he ever was with his "puppets", which makes things like pain a lot more intense. (He is mostly fine with this, because he's a fukken masochist.)

A bit more fashion stuff, including beach and party attire~

The beach outfit was mostly me trying and failing to nail down his body shape, which is still not bottom-heavy enough. I then decided to slap a bikini on it, before making it supremely unsexy with a pair of fugly shorts, because Bill's fashion choices are not allowed to be conventionally attractive. Meanwhile, the party outfit was mostly me looking at the casual attire I designed, asking 'how would Bill make this Worse', and then drawing the result. The mismatched thigh-highs are killing me inside! :D

No, his vessel can't actually summon fire, I just drew it for funzies before I decided on said vessel's limitations. Yes, the gold brick tattoos are absolutely a reference to the fic 'Knowing Me, Knowing You' - I simply could not resist.

I also HAD to draw Bill in one of his canonical(?) shirts, just made tank-top'd:

He is absolutely about to over-correct and fall backwards after this. USE YOUR CANE, GOOFBALL!!! (I meant to draw Bill closer to this degree of bottom-heavy in the other images, but. Alas. I am bad at anatomy, LOL)

And, last but not least before More Comic Time, I attempted to draw him closer to Gravity Falls style:

Jury's out on whether or not I succeeded, but - hey. I tried. Now have some Handyman Bill AU, but with my goofy human design, instead:

Hey, it's a 'mystery snack', and the guy wanted A BITE to eat - the joke was right there, guys!!! (Based on this post, because it just screamed BILL CIPHER to me.)

whoops i forgor bills ring and cracks ahaha too late now

I WILL SHUT UP AND STOP RAMBLING NOW K THX BYYYYYE

#fanart #gravity falls #billford #bill cipher #stanford pines #stanley pines #the love god #human bill cipher #human bill design #fashion design #comics #poor stan gets to find out his twin boinked a triangle when the love god shows up at the mystery shack demanding payment LMAO #cue internal panic for stan as dipper and mabel lose their collective shit over the fact that they now have a surprise new grunkle bill #the love god helps himself get paid by teaching the kids how to trap bill in his human vessel for the foreseeable future #bill is bewildered and pissed but also very much 'holy shit i have a FAMILY again??? neat but terrifying??????? what the F*CK do i do now'#he then proceeds to attempt to lovebomb his new family into being okay with the impending apocalypse #all while the three of them attempt to lovebomb HIM into giving up his plans for said impending apocalypse #then two days later ford shows up and is just like. what the ACTUAL F*CK IS HAPPENING???#cue stan immediately screaming 'I HAD TO PRETEND TO BE THAT THING'S HUSBAND FOR TWO DAYS STRAIGHT SO F*CK YOU AND YOUR BAD TASTE FOR THAT!'#stan spends those two days straight dropping very sour hints that he's being punished for someone else's terrible mistakes #bill finds this absolutely hilarious and thus plays along - but not without dropping his own hints that ford is the FAR superior twin #dipper and mabel have ZERO idea of what is actually going on because the love god did NOTHING to clarify the situation #dipper is convinced that stan and bill are speaking in some kind of bizarre code that only adults can understand #mabel is convinced that the code is flirting - which means stan and bill are going to live happily ever after and have tons of kids + pets #NEITHER of them are prepared for ford showing up. not that they were in canon. but still. now it's even MORE crazy #'what do you mean we get TWO NEW GRUNKLES???' 'two grunkles in two days - gotta be some kinda record'#ford then has to decide if he wants to remain justifiably furious at bill or join the other pines in lovebombing him into submission #he then gets to learn that lovebombing bill works surprisingly well because that triangle is just The Biggest Attention Wh*re #the entire AU would just be ridiculous antics with a splash of billford #these tags are an abomination lmao

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ilynpilled · 6 months ago

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jaime turning women down constantly more bc he is very monogamous and in love with someone else right now for the first time and is also kinda scared of actually having sex with someone other than cersei is sm better to me than “i respect the kg vows of chastity so intensely rn actually because i changed into a good and serious person” or whatever lol

#i truly dgaf about that bffr jaime dude #like its a stupid vow that says nothing about u as a person lmfao #him in the bath with pia thinking of brienne like u r not fooling anybody honestly #like i truly do think its more copium and not being honest with himself tbfh #like he had a rationalization when pia came into his bed in asos too but then it was purely ‘i only love cers i would never’#and with cat it was so funny when he bluffing and was like uh i cant marry bc of my vows but i could still service u😉😉#he would have pissed himself if he was called on that bluff but only bc he would be cheating on cers and have sex with another woman #man that fucked his twins in a sept next to his sons dead body the moment he returned caring about chastity vows #his development isnt really about keeping every vow ever when most of it is fraudery anyway #like pls he is not keeping his vow to his king rn really 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#i think the vows and respecting them has a deeper meaning thats the whole point which ones do u keep and prioritize and why #like weve been thru this 80x being a real vowhead is not what makes u a good person 😭#deleting ur individuality and personal life to be an honorpillhead lol #the vow to cat has meaning the elite bodyguard vow to never fuck has zero meaning 😭#he was ready to break the no marriage vow w cers pls #im not saying this bc of a shipper endgame in mind i find volcel jaime hilarious its just i dont like it as proof of his development #like ill be real guys sex positive warrior gurm is not pushing the idea that keeping ur chastity vows is what honor is about #like i get that he wants to be better and he is figuring out what that really means but

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hypewinter · 1 year ago

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Right so what if Danny became a psychologist instead of Jazz?

His friends and family died protecting him. So when he runs away and starts a new life, he adopts traits from all of them (both as a way of grieving and a way to honor them). For Tucker and Sam, Danny splits his free time between being a white hat hacker and a vocal environmental activist. For his parents, he adopts more of their eccentric personality. When he's not in a professional setting, he is loud and in your face about the latest thing he's been working on (he's also just about the most loyal person you can meet).

And for Jazz, his precious big sister, Danny decides to excel in the career path she never got the chance to enter. He resolves to fulfill her goal of helping out those society has deemed irredeemable. The ones nobody else can or wants to help. The first one he starts with, is the Joker.

#dp x dc #dc x dp #dpxdc #dcxdp #winter's tales #twisting yourself into a hodge podge of your loved ones personalities and aspirations isn't healthy #in caee i needed to point that out #but danny was in a bad mental state for a while and needed to start a new life anyway so....#he's more well adjusted now but still #i'ma be honest i just kinda wanted danny channeling his inner jazz #as he systematically breaks down the joker's arguments and persona #without ever breaking eye contact #this is the result of that one scene running away from me #just like these tags #but oh well we press on #because i also want to explain #how effing hilarious it is to think about the batfam getting word about a new employee at arkham #which already has them in panic mode #and then they find out he's working with joker!?#double panic #then they talk with him and he sounds like he has a whole box of screws loose with the way he rambles on #alright everybody prepare for a new rogue to hit the streets soon!#until they get their hands on the first session danny had with joker #and he's clearly not the same guy they talked to weeks ago #his personality is just way too different #what the hell is going on?

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etapereine · 5 months ago

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Tadej Pogačar & Jonas Vingegaard + Hands (2024 edition)

2024 Tour de France, Stage 1 | 2024 Tour de France, Stage 2 | 2024 Tour de France, Stage 7

2024 Tour de France, Stage 11 | 2024 Tour de France, Stage 11 | 2024 Tour de France, Stage 11

2024 Tour de France, Stage 12 | 2024 Tour de France, Stage 15 | 2024 Tour de France, Stage 15

2024 Tour de France, Stage 16 | 2024 Tour de France, Stage 17 | 2024 Tour de France, Stage 18

2024 Tour de France, Stage 19 | 2024 Tour de France, Stage 20 | 2024 Tour de France, Stage 20

2024 Tour de France, Stage 20 | 2024 Tour de France, Stage 20 | 2024 Tour de France, Stage 20

2024 Tour de France, Stage 21 | 2024 Tour de France, Stage 21 | 2024 Tour de France, Stage 21

2024 Tour de France, Podium Ceremony | 2024 Tour de France, Podium Ceremony | 2024 Tour de France, Podium Ceremony

#somehow. somehow. despite the fact that they only shared one race this year. this is still the longest of these posts by far?#almost twice as long as last year?#also find it hilarious that almost half is just from the podium ceremony #they truly tore those divorce papers up and threw them in the fire #tadej pogacar #jonas vingegaard #tadejonas #pogagaard #tadejonas hands #listen i know the season isn't over but it seems almost certain that jonas won't race again this year so i'm posting this now #if he decides to turn up somewhere else this year and we get more? we'll just cross that bridge when we come to it i guess.

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natelia-aldelliz · 2 years ago

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1 : Soap never had any idea that woman wanted him carnally, he's not the most observant on that front (he never noticed Ghost flirting with him and thought his love was one-sided for the longest time, but tbf Ghost was also very discreet about it)

2 : He sewed the hat, eyepatch and hook himself, because he's the best uncle and then got distracted as he was wrapping it up, so now he's watching a tutorial on youtube about how to build a voice box. Honestly how hard could it be, he builds explosive devices as a hobby (listen, Price doesn't have to know)

3 : He is out to his family, but doesn't want his mum to know he has a boyfriend because he knows she'll insist on meeting him and welcoming him to the family and making a big deal out of this, and he knows that Ghost isn't ready for that.

4 : Christmas is obviously a very hard time for Ghost, but he is very very in love with Soap and some days still can't believe that it's mutual, but then his Johnny does something like that and his head gets quieter while he's melting a bit.

5 : For the people that didn't see my other post : the bird is a Caique parrot, and they're supposedly very energetic, a bit loud, medium sized, unintelligible, very friendly to what they consider their family, adventurous and danger prone, with an explosive personality and a hate of boredom, so basically the adhd bird.

#cod mw2 #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghost is hard edges and sharp knives but simon is babygirl #i tried my best to make soap's sister look as much like soap as possible #as someone whose siblings look nothing like them i find it hilarious i have no idea why i swear i have the weirdest sense of humour #hc that simon's very first wait no second actually bc i feel like the first special interest for every child with autism is dinosaurs #but wait plot twist birds are dinosaurs so still hc that simon's first (or second if you want) special interest was birds #and he still loves them very much and both soap and his sister have adhd and his sister has a reoccurring hyperfixation on birds #and soap thinks ghost and his sister could get along very easily and is waiting very impatiently for the day ghost is ready and he can #introduce him to his family #but also ghost is very wary of families and especially since there's a young child because he's scared that he'll bring them death like he #feels he did to his own family #i initially wanted to colour it but then i wondered why my brain was working against me and very quickly decided that colouring all that #would be a nightmare and that i already hate colouring so why would i want to torture myself #anyway pls be nice with me i've given all i had to make this lmao

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sowearecleariamhere · 3 months ago

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Tori "My brother might be my best friend"/" Charlie is the only person I care about" Spring: *literally texts Nick when he will be back from vacation because she is worried about Charlie in Nick's absence*

Nick: "I don't know if Tori likes me"

#brother in christ you are one of the most important people to Charlie and have been so supportive & doing your best to help #of course she likes you #heartstopper #nick nelson #charlie spring #tori spring #I find this so hilarious #also she has seen firsthand how happy charlie is with nick #she has been watching her brother pine over this dude and has been cheering them on (that part nicn doesnt know but still)#it is so funny it me

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escapizm · 5 months ago

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🐈‍⬛ 🐈‍⬛ 🐈‍⬛

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triglycercule · 15 days ago

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i love that the murder time trio all have dangerous little greetings. horror has his little hand drill thing. killer puts a knife up his sleeve and then does a little switcharoo. dust INSTINCTIVELY shoots whoever he sees with a bone. no greeting whatsoever. so just imagine how things go on a first meeting or whatever. immediately horror and killer have to dodge bones from dust and horror's like hey wtf man. mildly irritated but he just met these guys so he's willing to forgive. he's not gonna lose his cool in front of these two random ass guys even though one just tried to kill him. killer just has that dumbass smile on his face like always (but he was intrigued when dust did that. like who tries to kill someone on first sight?? he's curious now :3)

and then theyre all just standing together and staring for a moment and horror sticks out his hand. killer takes the bait but then he just points a knife to horror's stolen eye once he realizes that he got duped and his other hand is now currently being drilled into. dust didn't shake either of their hands because he could see the drill and tell that killer had something off about him in general. but he does give a tiny smile when he sees the state that the two r in rn with the drill and knife. it's an eensy bit funny in his eyes

least violent mtt interaction

#overall?? first good impression on all their parts #except horror because he doesn't like to get threatened or risk dying #but he gets over it (he never does)#i'm at that stage of mtt fan where i cant afford to ignore phantom paps anymore and leave him out from the hc #immediately once dust saw the other two paps commented on how ugly they were #dust must have the strength of fucking Hercules or something because like #phantom papyrus probably drops some of the most hilarious bangers that only he can hear and he just CANNOT laugh or else he'll look dumb #i wouldnt last a day in dusts shoes if phantom paps said shit like that. i'd die of holding back laughter #how many off hand comments does paps make he just has to let out his laughs in private #violence is sooooo funny to them they wish they could throw the other 2 into a volcano #triglycercule will you ever run out of mtt ideas??? i dunno......#as long as im alive i can find a way to make my life about the mtt #this post was written august 22 still a peak idea tho LMAO #the phantom papyrus making outrageous comments thingy is funny enough to be its own post HOLD ON LMAO #listen this didnt happen in my mtt fic LITERALLY about them meeting but it did in another universe TRUST TRUST TRUST #tricule rant #killer sans #dust sans #horror sans #murder time trio #utmv #sans au #i'm so eepy....... i need to stay awake................#still have 70 soon to be 71 drafts left in my loaded gun we WILL survive through the winter if i eat one draft every day

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nevermoorsource · 5 months ago

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Jungle recently shared an Instagram post with a sneak peek at the second Nevermoor graphic novel, releasing on August 29th.

#still no listing on the publisher website…… it’s like you hate me jungle 😒#also the only description I can find anywhere is just straight up describing and spoiling the plot ?!?! 😭 hilarious to me #nevermoor #nevermoor graphic novel #wish I knew French bc ppl in the comments think Silverborn is out but not being translated into French. but no!!#it’s not out until next year for anyone! and when it’s out I promise 1000% it’ll be translated into French….#I wish I could tell them the simultaneous bad and good news (that it’s delayed :( but it’ll def be translated!)

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hatchers-hoard · 5 months ago

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good lord. fanfic did not adequatley prepare me for just how buck wild the svsss extras are

#usually #most of the time #i find that fanfic is..... more extreme?????#not sure if thats the right word #when it comes to smut #or something like that #then i read the svsss extras and oooh boy #what is happening #they are truly freak4freak #i knew that already #but still #svsss #scum villain's self saving system #scumbag system #scum villain #bingqiu #i am talking about them specifically #moshang is just doing their own thing #..... i still crack up at the daddy scene though thats hilarious

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royalarchivist · 5 months ago

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Amouranth: ...What happened to the dumpy? Oh, I guess that was Carrera (Carre).

Amouranth: Ruben, why do you– why do you look like Shaggy mixed with Peter Pettigrew? What happened? [She keeps going back to the picture and staring at it with growing concern] This is a pass– this picture is a pass! Wtf...