#i still dont understand that bc my brother was allowed them

[soggypotatoes]

aarrgghh i want to be someone who can relax and enjoy playin a video game so bad but every time i play one, after ive stopped playing i get the worst hangover

i think i just cant convince certain parts of me that it's not a waste of time lol.. i stop playing and suddenly im hit with 'oh god i just wasted so many hours not doing anything productive im gonna die'

not good bc ive been enjoying darkest dungeon again the past few days so the mood swings and anxiety have been very intense.. i like it but i think i need to not let myself game for now lol

[britneyshakespeare]

He won't leave my fucking friends alone.

[crushedsweets]

Can you talk more about Eyeless Jack? I really love him😔❤️

holds him in my hands... yes i can.. yes. i . can..

ive already gone on about his sacrifice and whatnot.. ok . ok. what to talk about. im gonna repeat hella stuff prob.

jack nyras .. mid-late 20s... human sacrificed to a demonic deity. . cute guy overall.

as i mentioned, similar to the proxies, he has a rando cabin in the woods. slenderman actually sees him as a good utility, so while he's not a proxy, he's kept around and allowed freely in the forest without any uhh... chaperone, i guess.

his cabin is even smaller, 1 bedroom 1 bathroom, small kitchenette, small living room, etc. there's a bit of an underground bunker, sort of like a tornado bunker. he keeps 2 freezers down there. u can imagine whats in them.

the main sort of ummm... like, driving issue and character 'arc' for jack is his guilt and battles w his own humanity. he was technically possessed by a demon/deity for a year straight, and while the demon is now 'resting', he still committed the atrocities he did, and he still relies on humans. for a while after he regains consciousness, he's really skinny bc its really hard on him emotionally to eat. eventually he just gets sort of numb to it (with the help of the other creeps.. not intentional help moreso 'dont be a pussy do what u gotta do man') . jeff is especially the one telling him to 'man up and do it' so he lives. toby and ben are more understanding of why its so hard for jack.

again jacks the eldest of many siblings. i'm thinking perhaps it goes.. jack>daughter>daughter>son>son>daughter. 3 sisters, 2 brothers. he was driving and working by time he was 16, his parents had too much pride to let him help with bills but he was getting groceries and cooking a lot of food for the house.

family meals were kind of a thing in the nyras household. jack was a good cook, lots of traditional meals, etc. he's been cooking dinner for his siblings since he was like 11. his dad always thought it was odd that jack took that on, esp since he had a sister a few years younger than him, but he legit just liked it.

there was a good bit of parental pressure to be a doctor, but if that weren't the case, he'd love to go into culinary. you know. before he had to cook human meat.

he can digest raw meat, and he has a theory that he goes longer between meals if he eats raw meat, BUT he often still cooks it and tries to make it just. more normal for him.

also he can and does still eat normal food, but it lost a ton of its taste for him. he relies still on human meat, but he can go like a 1-2 weeks between meals before he starts getting violent and dealing with severe pain. sort of like tokyo ghoul style ?

mmm.. he still has a missing persons case file open. his mother still tries to get the police to keep looking, and his brothers have even tried doing crazy shit like going into creepy parts of the city alone to figure shit out, but his sisters and dad eventually gave up and assumed he was dead. his mom still believes he's alive fully. none of them know what really happened to him

he works as human remains disposal for some rando guys that ben helped him find off the dark web. thats how he pays for the cabin, but the cabin is under brian's name since...... well. um. lol. jacks missing and presumed dead and he sure as hell isnt human enough to have a house.

cute guy !!!

[my-castles-crumbling]

hello cas! how are you?

i just wanted to ask something, i dont know, maybe have a little validation? im not sure

i have and regularly use a tumblr blog, and im an active ao3 author who will often project onto characters, both because its easier to write what i know and also because it makes for good storytelling. theres one thing though that i never talk about, not on my blog and not in my writing, but i feel like i should be?

i dont remember the silly medical word for it, but theres some condition on my dad's side of the family where weve got a higher chance of going blind, and usually earlier in life than most. my aunt has it, my grandfather had it, my older brother has it, and i have it. i didnt know my grandfather bc he died before i was born, but i know it only started affecting my aunt a little into her 50s, though it was much earlier for me and my brother (hes 27 and has about 50% of his vision, and im 20 and have about 70%, and for both of us what we have is also very blurred)

again, its not really something i talk about. ive been learning braille for when the inevitable comes (so far ive learned the alphabet and common conjunctions i can expect, so now im moving onto becoming more comfortable and confident feeling it all out) and honestly im pretty okay about it. its not that ive given up, im just... neutral? i have my peace with it. im working with what ive got or whatever, i dunno

but i feel like i should be... doing something with it? like, sharing my experience or using my writing to create representation. im always reading about people projecting their disabilities onto characters (especially remus, in place of his lycanthropy in muggle aus) like deafness, or epilepsy, or chronic pain, or migraines, but i rarely read about blind characters/sight impaired characters, and i just wonder like... should i be writing that? should i be doing something?

i dont know if this even makes sense haha. i just feel some sort of obligation to talk about it, but especially because i already project onto my characters with my mental health issues etc it almost feels like id also be writing about myself *too* much? it feels like theres no winning

im also sort of nervous that if i *did* bring it up on my blog now, that people might think im just making it up or something because ive never mentioned it before. i also dont know everything about it, and if people asked me something i didnt have an answer to, im afraid of that too. as though just because im losing my vision i should know every single thing there is to know about blindness. its silly and i know that, but it still makes me nervous to talk about it after all this time

Hi! <3

I understand why you feel this way, but please know that you don't owe anyone anything just because you have a disability. You're not obligated to be an activist or educator, in any way, shape, or form. There are plenty of aspects of my life I choose not to talk about and boundaries I draw when it comes to talking about my life on tumblr, and that's okay! Nobody who is part of a group that needs representation has to be the person to create that representation. For example, while I work to create trans representation in my writing, I choose not to address a lot of my childhood trauma. Sure, I could write about having a parent who is an addict, but I choose not to, and that's a choice I'm allowed to make, just as you are!

However, if you DO choose to talk about it and someone accuses you of faking? 1. Ew. Block them. 2. Send them to me. That's horrible and they need to be yelled at.

Naming you validation anon

[hella1975]

would LOVE to know full details to the culture difference bestie when you've got the time because I'm kinda just a sucker for that. also. were we too nice for you tell me more about that

here we gooooo here's a rundown of the top things that were really jarring to me as a brit in america!

kinda dumb that i feel the need to say this but ive been burned before: americans, if you're going to send me shit about this list, please first reread what you've typed and ask yourself 'am i addressing this person as an actual real life adult that not only has experienced both countries she speaks about but also has perfectly functioning social skills that allow her to navigate what is and isn't a culture difference, or am i talking to her like a condescending little prick?' this includes messages like 'americans aren't actually ___, we're just ___ which clearly went over your head as a silly foreigner :)' do u understand how condescending messages like that are as the person who was there? this list is me saying what was strange to me AS A BRIT IN AMERICA. it is a comparison, not an objective statement of something ive decided is a fact about your culture. im not writing this so people can try and like. educate me on all the things i missed because america was just soooo complex. okay? stunning

you guys were SO nice like i think the best way i can contextualise this for an american is that the first time i felt actually comfortable (not that i was uncomfortable otherwise but i mean in a social sense) was when we were in new york city. no one looked at me no one wanted to talk to me people were shouting and being rude to each other it was just like home <3 the way americans are friendly is just so intense and it took me a good while to stop being so bowled over by it. like if you met someone one time they'd try and hug you and i found that very very strange

americans generally talk about their feelings a lot more and i dont even mean just from the people i interacted with bc that very well might have been because i just got on well with them so we were talking honestly, but even on commercials and things you guys talk about mental illnesses and such like it's a grocery shop whereas in england there's still very much a stiff upper lip culture about that kind of thing

you guys do speak louder. like objectively even 'quiet' americans were louder than most brits and would be glared at in public if we were in england just bc of the volume they were speaking at. you also inflect more. again i think this is another thing that boils down to americans being very bright and intense while the english are renowned for not wanting anyone to look at them ever. like a bug under a rock

FREE REFILLS!! i have not shut up about this but if you order a coffee somewhere then you have in fact ordered UNLIMITED COFFEE. the first time a waitress leaned over me to fill my coffee up i flinched away from her bc i was like what in god's name are you doing

if you try and make a hot drink in america then you are taking your life in your hands. you have to filter the water, find whatever apparatus this specific house uses to boil water, remind yourself that americans have a vendetta against milk so you have to use creamer which is 'exactly like milk' but 'you wouldnt drink it like milk' so what the fuck is going on there, and then by the time everything's done you want to go out back to curl up and die like an old dog. dont get me started on tea

one thing i thought was cute is that you guys say 'come get in the AC' the same way we would say 'come get out of the rain' like that's such a cute little human thing i think

AC itself is such a godsend but me not being used to it was kind of baffling to americans. boom's brother asked me what my ideal AC temp was at home and i just. looked at him bc i didnt even know where to start with that

it took me WEEKS to stop trying to get in the driver's side of the car

american ignorance is a very real very frustrating thing. 'whats that thing they do in europe-' idk bc ive never been to all of europe. 'when i went to europe-' where in europe. it is a continent. i got asked if we have fireworks in europe. bonfire night is older than the founding of america. there's just a genuine belief amongst americans that they're not even AWARE of (because it would be smart, nice americans that i genuinely liked saying these things) that america is the most elite country in the world and is the only place to have certain things

speaking of the european thing with americans, the fact that 'travelling to europe' is typically a bragging right over there and is seen as quite an upper class thing is very interesting. a lot of the times people would be bragging TO ME and it would go over my head bc id be like 'well anyone can go to spain'. i feel like shagaluf would give americans an aneurysm

the sheer size of america never truly registered with me until i was there like i cannot wrap my head around it. the uk can fit in lake michigan 4 times. you guys have cargo ships on lakes. the roads just go straight for miles and miles and miles. you have every environment and weather possible. literally obsessed

capitalism is actually way more intense in america. like yeah it makes sense america is thee capitalist country but i guess i thought because i was coming from a western capitalist country myself that it wouldnt change much. but like. billboards on roads. adverts while you pump gas. there is someone selling u something everywhere u look

tipping was so hard 😭 i knowwww it's necessary i understand the econ behind it all but i was so stressed all the time because of it 😭

YOUR STARBUCKS IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN OURS

i knew i was going to have to change the way i spoke in america bc of obvious things (my accent isnt The British Accent that americans recognise, i use a lot of slang etc) but it surprised me just how much i had to change. like by the end of it i wasnt using any slang and i was enunciating every letter because i was just so tired of saying something just for boom to have to literally translate bc like? it was no fault of theirs or mine or even the person i was talking to but it just made me feel Weird and Odd and most surprising of all was that it made me feel stupid? and i guess that's bc i get a lot of shit for my accent over here too so im oversensitive to it but ive never properly felt more like a foreigner in a different country than i did trying to talk to americans

sarcasm. im just. like the running joke is that americans dont get sarcasm and id have actually preferred that i think bc what instead happened is you guys have AMERICAN sarcasm and it just. made no fucking sense to me at all. i literally did not get american humour even slightly it was probably my biggest thing when i was over there like i literally felt like entire conversations were going over my head. british humour is very dry so not only did i not get american humour but sometimes MY humour would be misinterpreted as well and the entire thing was just very strange lol

RIGHT ON RED????? RED MEANS STOP???? WHAT ARE YOU DOING????

[pumpkinsy0]

I feel like Dallas respects Angela only because she very specifically does NOT respect him and doesn't bother to try and hide her disdain. I'd love to hear your thoughts on their dynamic

OK I HAVE LIKE 2 WAY OF SEEING ANGELA AND DALLYS RELATIONSHIP

1) theyre both close, but not bc they know each other on a personal level, its bc dallys close to tim and so he kinda knows way more than the average tulsa resident would rlly know about angela, he knows about angela through tims drunken rants about his life on the rare chances that him and tim arent fighting and acc get along, and the same goes reverse, angela knows about dally through tim and sylvias rants, but they never rlly talk to each other, its always just a few words to each other and its always slightly awkward, but u cant tell bc they r both able to keep up appearances, its not like they rlly have anything in common so what is there to talk about????but if dally did hear angela needed help he’d help to some degree (like if tim asked him to look after angela and curly, wanted him to pick angela up from somewhere he’d do it, begrudgingly, but he’d do it) theyre close on the most BASIC level of the word

2) they do NOT care for each other at all, they see the other as like a pest, angela hates dally bc of the way he treats sylvia (thats her bff right there🤞🏽🤞🏽) and bc he literally beats up her brother. dally hates angela bc shes a shepard and sylvias bff, he just does not like sylvias friends bc theyre always judging him. tbh i dont even know if hate is the right words, he doesnt have any STRONG feelings towards angela, but its def not allat positive, that isnt to say hes gonna treat her like SHIT tho shes still tims sister, he just tries not to get in the same room as her, like ever

angela and dally just alternate between these two, sometimes theyre fine w each other, other times they cant stand each other

BUT I DO LOVE THAT IDEA OF URS, i think thats also part of their dynamic, its just kinda hidden under other layers

while we’re here im speaking on my thoughts on curly and dallys relationship: but like dally doesnt rlly care for curly that much, guaranteed “closer” that angela and dally bc they actually have things they can relate on, but curly hates the guy bc he feels like he steals tims attention like all the time, and if ur curly who just wants his brother/father figures approval, dally is ur BIGGEST obstacle. on top of that, he doesnt even understand how DALLYS allowed near pony but HE isnt, thats also a reason. dally doesnt rlly care for how curly feels, curly makes a comment about him and he rolls his eyes and is like “whatever” bc he doesnt rlly see curly as being worth fighting w and that makes curly even MORE annoyed bc he wants to be taken seriously by EVERYONE. think of them as like siblings who genuinely whole heartedly cannot stand each other and theres not a lot of affection goin on between em.

this turned into an entire essay im sorry </3

[sasukimimochi]

i wanna ramble about my view on JC but i'm so bad at words

so like, i see posts where people talk about these things JC does or WWX holds back from, i don't wanna go searching but also want to leave these details out cuz i don't want to accidentally call people out cuz that is not my intention (not that i have the audience to do something like that) so i'm just gonna go from my memory and kinda summarize what i think abt him...

gonna add a read more line bc this gets long!

Uh, btw please no hostility i'm not trying to start arguments, these are just my thoughts i really wanted to get out there. i'm definitely no therapist or psychologist so take this with a grain of salt, this is the view of just an average reader who retains a lot of info [tho still manages to miss details at times]. Anyway if you have info you think i should have addressed, reply and i'll make additions if i agree/want to expand on the info presented to me!

So, WWX and JC have a weird thing going on, it's not exactly brothers but they definitely wanted that, the reason why i say they aren't solidly brothers is because i'm pretty sure Madam Yu has influenced JC from the start of his arrival which is why he doesn't call wwx a-xian or Wei Ying or A-Ying- Why he doesn't allow himself to let loose properly around anyone even in private, why he constantly scolds wwx, etc. i believe firmly he's been quite influenced by his parents due to him being the next sect heir and the pressure that comes from it, as well as what he feels like madam yu is correct on- wwx is uncle jiang's favorite.

Madam Yu still chides Yanli for doing domestic acts for WWX but not on the same level as JC, who is constantly under pressure by her to be the perfect heir to the sect. She wants him to be better than WWX, which of course affects all of the family but Yanli gets left out of the fire a bit, which i think is what gives her such a strength to do these supportive acts for the brothers [and why she's also both the brother's favorite. She's basically the mom they wish for. Supportive, understanding, and helps mediate them]. Though this is a burden she has to bear, it's not that big of a burden to her because she loves the two so much.

Jiang Fengmian... i might be spelling his name wrong, so i'll call him Uncle Jiang cuz it will be faster for me to type with no mistakes haha. Anyway, I have complicated feelings about him.

At first i thought he was great and did no wrong, but that was on my first pass and when i had just watched the donghua only. My opinion of him since i read the novel isn't bad, but it's not super good. He's in a complicated position! There's only so much he can do about his wife, they argue super often and while its not usually crazy loud, it's pretty intense. [also, i'm not sure if separation is really a thing that happened back then, i think that's really a modern thing.] I feel like we're likely seeing Uncle Jiang's will to fight dimmed down by the wear of time.

Consider: you have a family member who won't ever listen to what you say, regardless how sound your argument is- you can be completely in the right and have all the facts, but no matter how long you press on, the result never changes. Do you put in the same amount of effort for the rest of your life? No! You understand that no matter how much you argue that their answer will remain the same. I personally have a family member like this, and while i defend myself regularly, it does not go anywhere. That is the nature of some people, no matter what they may not treat your view with the respect it deserves.

anyway back to the main line here, i dont think wwx is wrong about what he said regarding JF to JC. "he's just hard on you cuz you're going to be sect leader" or whatever it was along those lines- WWX does not seem like the type to lie to make someone feel better and i think this is why JC appreciates that conversation so much (besides the heartfelt twin prides which is obviously something that stuck to him for a long time). And i agree, JF is definitely trying to prepare Jiang Cheng for his position as sect leader one day.

do i think Uncle Jiang is completely guilt free of favoritism? No absolutely not, he canonically holds wwx more as a child, which i think is hard to argue against- but i do think the context of that is missed in part by most. WWX may have been a bright kid with sun shining out his ass but he was also a scared kid that just got rescued off the streets after his parents never came home. A kid that was fighting for food from dogs and likely starving and scared because he was on the street for like 5 years [if i remember it was from age 4 to 9 in the novel]. Of course he got held a bit more- i can't imagine he would be completely unphased immediately upon arrival, at least with his Uncle Jiang who was totally willing to provide him comfort- which wwx probably desperately missed from his now dead parents. We know canonically that the memory of those parents, however small, is unreplaceable and dear to wwx- but having JF treat him dearly is truly a balm to what has happened to him.

I'm not gonna say JC didn't go through things that made him cry and want to be held, in fact if WWX came into the house and suddenly got a lot of attention, it's going to feel pretty shitty for JC! Of course this combined with abruptly losing his privacy and puppies was what initially had him pushing the other away, but as you could see, after WY breaks his leg after running off and they make up, they get really close and despite this looming responsibility and family troubles, the two are very bonded. imo making them look like 6 year olds in the donghua is an injustice to their relationship, because 9 year olds tend tend to have more emotional intelligence (?) at that age. I'm not sure how to phrase that, but basically making them look younger and act like giggling children took away from the scene a bit for me lol. Jc is old enough to realize he doesn't dislike wwx! This isn't a child quickly getting over his anger, he's young here yes, but he's decided in this moment that he cares about this new member of the family, despite being called the son of a servant. [which yes madam yu is once again influencing his view of this segregation but i think he is much better at ignoring this particular in his youth]

I am rambling more than i thought i would lmao- i have a lot of feelings about their relationship and i think it's skipped over so much

um, i'm not sure which direction i was going in before i went onto the parents. Let's skip forward.

lotus pier fell and not only did JC see wwx get humiliated and whipped and nearly disfigured, his mother who he was about to lose blamed wwx for so much. When you lose a family member you have an attachment to, whether it bad or good, this influences your thoughts about them and with no way to resolve said thoughts. i find this hard to explain, so i'm just going to hope you understand what i'm referring to here. Especially in ancient china though, i believe it's a big thing to hold such a high regard for your parents, but especially if they have passed? i can't say this is fact but i believe that is the case i just am sticking to my memory here. So these things in combination with Trauma, i believe starts this heavy, negative emotion in JC that is hard to unstick.

JC and WWX may get into a one-sided scuffle but soon after they cry together like children. They just experienced hundreds of lives lost- people they grew up with and trained with and cared for as well as the people who provided and cared for them- their family was unstable, but still was a family and support system- now they had only two people and one of them was far away, the one that was typically their pillar. I feel like a lot of people hold JC to an impossible standard in his situation- having a bad day and taking it out on someone is one thing, going through a traumatic massacre i think allows someone to get a bit unreasonable [though of course nearly choking him was quite far, remember, he's extremely unstable emotionally at this point].

"WWX didn't do that though!" of course not. WWX is a different person with a different personality, is older (though i don't know by how much), and is extremely resilient, but he does process his trauma just differently. As you see over and over in the novel, wwx goes through many things others wouldn't dream of, but he starts acting differently even before the golden core removal, not only after. He's going through the same things, but i'm pretty sure no one reacts to trauma the same way to the T. JC's just happens to be misplaced anger, which is probably way too simple a way to put it, but anyway...wwx also gets angry. very angry. The two both have the correct target of anger in the end, despite Jc's breakdown. He still harbors his mother's words, but at this point they're still in the background of his mind.

Now again we go forward- JC willingly sacrifices himself for WWX. Look, if he doesn't like wwx at all i think this is extremely contradictory. even if he was s*icidal, he could have chose other ways to get to that end if that was the case. and a gentle reminder that JC perks back up and is ready to fight once he believes WWX knows how to fix his core! i don't think he was truly wanting to die or anything like that until he thought he had lost everything except wwx and jyl. He believes in wwx's strength despite his constant fear of inferiority, so if he was gone, what would it matter if wwx was there to continue to protect yanli?

Essentially he was like 'well what are we going to do if i can't lead the sect? We would be in a homeless situation and there is a war.' aka there's not a lot of hope all around, i don't think he was only upset about the core, but it was definitely the main force because if he didn't have a core, how would he survive what was happening anyway? he's like 'if i'm gonna die let it be on my terms' yk? He also doesn't feel like he's strong enough before he lost his core to protect anyone. Without it? fat chance.

whew... this is a lot already, so maybe i'll post this and do a part two later addressing YLLZ arc, then the "present" one. i just have a lot of feelings about their relationship and i'm sad to see so much negativity around him...JC is quite flawed, but a lot of the characters are flawed! that doesn't make them bad characters, it makes them interesting and human.

[bibewilderedandbuck]

Maddie's "buck is 28 and i still have my hands full." not one person is like "where..........are ur parents" they just know those fuckers dont care

incoming rant about how much buck's parents and my parents are a like......

i maintain that theory that they're perfectly fine people outside of their kids. that is sitting in my head all day long. Bc that's what my parents were like. They are members of the community, my mom was the truancy officer at my high school and she would give jobs to kids down on their luck, to fix our computers or the car or mow the lawn. kids who had to work bc their families couldn't afford for them to spend the day at school (she would go to their court hearings and testify on their behalf). or babysit kids who were in the charge of their elder ""delinquent"" siblings. she would help pay for school lunches for those who couldn't afford it and if i had a friend who didn't have a lunch she had a mini fridge with extra food. My dad wasn't around bc he worked too hard, but he would always be up for taking all of our friends to ice cream on the weekends and he would make it a point to take us individually to an outing for our bdays so he could have time with us.

but she wasn't like that with Us. and thats the point. she shoved all her catholic guilt and family trauma on to us. the amount of times i can tell you that we've had to call the cops or almost take her to the er bc she pulled some stunt bc we were "ignoring her". she cried for a YEAR when i decided i wanted to leave for college. and my sister and brother have similar stories. we were all her therapist at one point in time. talking ur mother off the ledge when you don't even realize how depressed you are is one helluva way to grow up.

i was that kid who kept getting injured and it was definitely bc i was clumsy (i spent a lot of time before the age of 15 in hospitals for all sorts of reasons). as a kid you notice real fast that you get the Right Attention when you're hurt or sick

it took me a long time to unlearn how to say fuck you to the mandatory apology she would want for hurting her feelings aka "not filling her love tank properly" and even longer to even slightly understand what a personal boundary could be since we weren't allowed to have those.

I'm only a few years younger than buck and my parents are boomers, and we share a lot of traits (adhd and the Need to be wanted and the immediate anxiety catastrophizing). Not to mention we're both queer (thank you abc). WHICH also makes for a fascinating resemblance. i'm only getting therapy, adhd testing, ssri's recently bc i'd been fighting my way to finding myself for so long. When your parents are off but no one else sees it, you are under this cloud of i need to take care of THEM so i never did any discovering for myself! Until college.

Fuck. their portrayal gets to me so much bc they are so much like my parents. they care about what other's think but not what their actions do to the children living in their house. I UNDERSTAND their grief and i UNDERSTAND their loss. But those are explanations not excuses.

my parents never wanted kids, i was an accident. And you can tell they never really thought that they would have to set aside their life, their trauma to deal with a whole new being. And that's what the buckleys did.

i have no conclusion to this lmao, i just know that i am gonna write some buckley parents stuff and imma use it to work through some things

[lazaruspiss]

For the ask game, I'm gonna go with a non-obvious one here: Barbara Gordon/Dinah Lance.

And also an obvious one, Jaydick, cause I wanna read you rave about it :)))

Oh boy. DinahBabs first

Why don’t you ship it?

I do not like babs. Everything I've seen her in (besides gotham knights, funny enough) has me feeling either really abrasive towards her or like she's filling the role of "the girl" character. That said if anyone has recs for good stuff with her in it I'll give it a shot! I don't want to hate her or anything but I've really only seen her at her worst. I also just don't know enough about dinah, i like her in the cartoons she's been in but thats not always the best reference for what a character is like overall. (Again. I do take comic recs if any of u have a ship or a blorbo that u wanna share ur love for <3)

What would have made you like it?

Have you seen what they do with babs nowadays. Get her away from tom taylor im begging you. And again: i gotta read more dinah stuff bc she seems cool! But i am. How do u say. Lazy

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

Shoutout to the lesbians, i dont know them but id be happy for them if they got together. Also dinahs hot.

OK. JAYDICK. AAAH. Thank u zero

What made you ship it?

BROTHERS IN BLOOD. EVERYONE TALKS ABOUT THE VORE AND THE TENTACLES BUT NO ONE TALKS ABOUT THE RITUALS. I should reblog some of my BiB reactions bc i stand by them! Its good!

What are your favorite things about the ship?

Ohhh god. I am so unwell about them. Everything? They r so cliche ship archetypes and i am not immune to it. The childhood crush potential, the red/blue, the maladjusted social butterfly/slightly more put-together introvert, you can even do enemies to lovers if that's what you wanna do. I also think they have the potential to understand each other more than anyone else in their lives, its hard to picture them having a completely happy ending with anyone other than each other. (Is this what having an otp is like?) I still like other ships involving them but theyre so Soulmates to me <3

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Dick isn't the one helping Jason, it's the other way around. Jason is so much more attuned to his emotions whereas Dick is an absolute mess of repression and baggage, and Jason gets it! He understands how fucked up and traumatized Dick is! The reason why it would be hard for them to confront challenges would rest heavily on the mix of Dick's lifetime of self-sacrifice and repression and Jason's unapologetic attitude about his trauma. Jason can confront these things in a way that Dick has just never allowed himself to do, Jason's whole /thing/ is confronting his fucked up past. I have given many a speech on how Jason could teach Dick how to heal, but I think it might be more common to see that Dick has to make Jason "good" rather than reflecting on the healing that they both need on a more personal level.

[heleizition]

holding cain gently in my hands. do ya got a jive on what happenes plotwise? like a timeline and shit. does cain die. does cain kill able. who takes eden by the hand and shoves love down his throat? whats up with able caring for nell in a sibling capacity and whys that not happening with cain. whats their p a s t why are they so fucked.

ok so . plot wise . it's messy and not very good ngl but the rundown is as follow. its long and BAD im . but its my thing and i have strong feelings about.

Nell and vik meet as angel & demon and cooperate on a thing . which they're not allowed to bc angel and demons have been at wars for Ever and no one really remembers why.

when he comes back to th demon realm nell is subjected to torture as a punishment from the demon council or something . abel doesnt like that and he's been trying to find a way to fuck up the demon realm for a while anyway so he takes nell and runs away with him in "purgatory" which is the vast land between angel and demon reals. his team follows (titania and jasper) (the four of them are basically demon . soldiers.)

cain stains behind and acts as abel's ears in the demon realm as he's high ranked.

anyway in the meantime cody's angel team finds abel's team in the purgatory bc they were just Out There doing Stuff. at this point abel and cody, both high ranking, have know each other for a long time and have been forming a sort of understanding that they're both pretty tired of this endless war.

anyway somehow all of them decide to team up. dont ask me why. im not a good writer.

we learn that things have been shitty bc god decided to communicate for the first time in for Ever to the angel & demon leader that They sent someone down there with part of Their power to shake things up. because god is a Bored CHILD

the whole story revolves around trying to find out who's god's soldier.

several things happen including discovering that vik is under noah's (angel chief) orders (but like its bc he had zero memories of his past life and died a child and was easily manipulated and had no idea what was going on for a while and oh man . he's at the center of this now), vik getting thrown into angel jail, getting jailbreaked by those who are mad but not THAT mad at him, eden gets snatched and his head explodes, he survives

theres like a whole thing about past lives and memories btw. its kinda boring lmao but its a thing.

jasper learns that actually he was created in this realm and never had a past life to begin with and he's an experimentation from a rogue demon council guy that abel & cain killed, thats when abel took jasper under his wing . he had no idea lol poor guy!!!!!!!!!

um things accelerate . its time for the final showdown ! we still dont know who's god's guy. if i were actually drawing/writing this id give every character their focus time to throw readers. like heheheh who is it >:) ?

ok final showdown everyone fights someone that is meaningful to them bc of the story yeehaw . cain is here.

cain what are you doing here (atop of the battlefield) and not on the battlefield

cain . cain why are you fighting nell

flashback time ! abel & cain only ever had each other in their past life and this one and cain is basically a "i'll do it all for you" guy bc he has no chill except the demon council manipulated him into thinking that abel is pushing him aside because he's weak or not good enough and that nell is the actual family he needs yada yada

cain why are you leaving nell with his guts open on the field

oh man . nell is dying . vik is holding his almost lifeless body . oh no

cain is behind abel and oh man isn't it weird that i'm thinking abt the first murder in pseudo history rn . wild

so cain stabs abel in the back who had absolutely no idea of the turmoil his brother was in . cody is here . cody and abel love each other in a ay that goes beyond memory beyong tragedies beyond universes. cody can't go on without abel thats how it's written (?).

cody is god's soldier. she didn't know. she couldn't have. she unleashes the power. this world is dead.

god is looking at this. looking at them. realises they're fond of that part of them they sent in this endless war. that she made a family out of the people she met and . that it'd be nice if she could have that for real, right ? after all, god can feel her feelings. and it's warm and love and ugly and fury and god had forgotten about all that.

epilogue. cody wakes up. it's april. a sunday. the sun is out. she has to get up because she's meeting up with friends. we follow her and her routine. we see the friends. we know the friends.

the end

OK for the other questions : cain was manipulated, a pawn in this universe, he has serious abandonment issues that ARE worked on post story once they are "revived" lol. he's a bit of a cold guy but he's doing his best. he does actually like nell in this "universe", but it takes a while.

eden was surrounded by lovely people by chance and by force. thats their difference lol

it's not that abel does not care about cain, he does, but it's always hard when someone comes around and can replace you. ofc thats not what abel is doing, he cares about nell a lot and he can't help it, but it makes cain just,,, rage on . idk how to explain it. you know when you're not doing great and your friend who you cling a bit to has other friends ? and you think oh . oh they don't..... care about me as much as i care about them (which is wrong btw) ? yeah thats a feeling i had a lot when i was younger and that i still have sometimes but that i know how to beat down now hehe but . some people are more vulnerable to it, especially when the support they need isn't there at the right moment. i feel for cain. he's jst, not doing great emotionally.

[stregoniconiconii]

preface: i hate r*nance, and do like vickie and robin/vickie in theory. my one issue with the vickie = rosie comparison is that in lotr, people knew about the quest. like, bilbo and frodo both wrote about it. but in stranger things, everything has to be kept secret, which i imagine would be incredibly difficult in a long term relationship. im hoping that now that the “earthquake” has happened, the whole town (or at least the relevant minor characters) will be learning about the upside down. like, i don’t think that vickie needs to get involved in fighting the upside down, but i think she needs to know about it, just so she understands where robin’s trauma comes from?? (tho in canon only like. three characters are allowed to have any sort of lasting trauma, so maybe the duffer brothers will just pretend that robin doesn’t have trauma)

the quest = the war, which can be as big as a world war or a personal war. just because the war robin has been part of is a secret war doesn't erase what a vickie as Rosie could represent. Rosie represents the home and the hearth, she's the promise of a future after the destruction of war. she represents hope! Steve says that he still has hope that he and robin can find love somehow and for robin that's with vickie. I think that's why we see vickie again at the volunteer centre, she's a big part of the rebuilding process for a devastated town, she's a hopeful future for robin

nowww that's speaking pretty metaphorically and within the context of the story. it's somewhat limited to just s4 bc I dont know what s5 will bring, besides some thoughts and predictions. the duffers could make some writing choices that completely change what vickie's place in the story is. I do agree that the small circle that knows about the upside down will have to expand in s5 bc I genuinely can't see how else it can go so I think vickie will likely know about the upside down. but that doesn't mean she necessarily is part of the action, you know, as you said.

the thing with trauma is that. of course robin has trauma. and ur right that the duffers dont do a very good job at acknowledging that trauma. but you don't have to know everything about a person's trauma in order to support them. we have a right to privacy even in our closest relationships. we also ofc have the right to be upset or feel shut out when our partners don't tell us things. but it's not fair to be try to be everything for your partner, it's a lot of pressure and just bc you love someone it doesn't mean that you are equipped to deal with what they have gone through and are currently going through. a somewhat rough comparison would be an addict seeking comfort from their non-addict partner vs from their sponsor. the non-addict has a relationship with the addict's sobriety and their relapses but they themselves are not an addict and it colours the type of support that they can provide. there's a reason why peer support groups are so effective!

now im a big fan of codependent stobin it's not a secret. I like thinking about how that sort of relationship can affect the rest of their relationships. it usually means that the rest of their relationships suffer... I like robin/vickie and im very confident in them being endgame. but that's in the context of the story the duffers are writing. realistically, im not sure about robin/vickie lasting a long time. partially bc it's a high school relationship and there's so much life after high school and they might grow apart. such is life! it doesn't mean that they never loved each other, it's just part of the reality of getting into a relationship: it will eventually end somehow. sorry if it's pessimistic? I also think it's hopeful in a way just bc I think one relationship ending doesn't mean you can't find love again... the other side of it is that if robin and Steve are as codependent/unhealthy as I tend to head canon... then vickie might decide that being in a relationship with robin isn't worth the emotional turmoil of all that. which would be a fair thing to decide in this context

anyway this is where we're playing around with fanon bc we can write stories where robin and vickie have a long lasting romantic relationship, where they break up and maybe get back together. where Steve and robin are codependent or they're normal or they learn to be normal about each other. where all three of them figure out a way to balance robin's romantic relationship and her platonic one without minimising one or the other. im pretty open to many interpretations so im hoping once the fandom has actually embraced vickie we will get to explore it in many different ways

[ladysophiebeckett]

Omg thank you for replying to my ask about LFMB. I didn’t know Tiziano Ferro’s appearance was added to do damage control, it had nothing on Bésame but it wasn’t that bad either controversy aside ���. Also the whole Aurora/Jessica Rabbit plot is one of the worst things they could have come up with. Also, making Carolina fall for Omar out of nowhere (maybe it didn’t look so bad because the mexican actors looked well together and even got married in real life, but I just can’t picture doña Catalina and Mario as a couple). Alicia becomes even worse over time and even more of a caricature of herself, Tomas basically has not dignity or self respect until the very end when she easily steals millions from Conceptos (and she would have gotten away with it had she not gotten any issues with her passport) and even then he was ready to take the blame to protect her 🤦‍♀️

Moreover, having Fernando and Marcia become friends and basically take on a siblings dynamic. I mean, I understand their intentions were good and it was heartwarming to see them mend their relationship and get to that place were they could treat each other as brother and sister, but it’s just not realistic it happened so soon. They were in a toxic relationship for years, she was obsessed with him and treated him as some sort of trophy, he constantly cheated on her, put her family’s patrimony at risk, admitted he was in love with someone else, they hurt each other time after time. It’s a novela so these kind of too good to be true situations are fair game I guess. It’s just that the essence of the characters is just so different from YSBLF from the moment she goes to Acapulco up until the ending as you correctly stated it. Speaking of, what was that thing about Aldo being an angel of some sort? Lol and the fact that they dragged this love triangle until the very last minute where she was supposed to marry Aldo, but he suddenly backs off and allows her to be happy with Fernando. It made no sense. Still, Angelica and Jaime had great chemistry and you are so right when you say they were dorks in love, and Betty and Armando were much more sensual even if their love scenes were way more limited and they showed much less skin, but there’s something about Armando’s desperation to be with Betty during the gaslighting arc that neither of his counterparts has been able to replicate.

I don’t want to bore you anymore with more things. LFMB holds a special place in my heart because it reminds me of my childhood. Sometimes I put it on because it makes me laugh. It’s dumb humor but it works. It will never come close to the quality and acting of YSBLF though especially after they ran out of the source material and started adding nonsense, but it was genuinely decent up until some point like you said.

If you made it all the way to this part, I cannot thank you enough. Have a lovely rest of your day, I love your blog 💜

'te tomare una foto' is PERFECT for letty and fernando (the fanvids are good too) and it's also perfect for betty and armando but nobody's made a vid for that and it kills me. (but 'besame' is so sexy and its so them, so again, i cant complain).

i forgot they made omar\carolina a thing. (quick complaint--i hate how they aged up the cuartel and then aged catalina down that was annoying). if u squint it make sense bc in YSBLF mario is shown various times in the first half to be very attracted to catalina, while catalina is always shooting him down. no way she would ever reciprocate in YSBLF, but i guess its fine in LFMB is omar is on some kind of redemption arc. (i dont remember omar being as sinister in LFMB, correct me if im wrong).

the fernando\marcia thing is so?? im laughing. the reason why LFMB makes these kind of choices (everybody being friends in the end) is literally bc of rosy ocampo, who specializes in children's television. all her work before LFMB is kid's telenovelas. that's why aura maria and sofia's kids have huge scenes in LFMB (were as in YSBLF u barely ever see them and only hear of them). its why aldo isn't evil incarnate but instead 'an angel that was meant to bring letty and fernando together'.

they did not know how to end LFMB bc they got all tangled up. i think marcia even ends up as president, which doesnt bother me. but i felt like that was done to make up for the fact she lost fernando.

but there’s something about Armando’s desperation to be with Betty during the gaslighting arc that neither of his counterparts has been able to replicate.

ocampo would not let jaime do that bc its not suitable for children. (but also i dont think he can. he's not JEA. he's just not.) but oh my god yes. not one adaptation can do this. they dont get it. when u see the scene comparisons of the fight they have outside of el meson de san diego....there's something missing. and its called sexual tension. fernando is more sad while armando is juggling 25 different emotions and one of them is fear that he's losing betty and no knowing why.

im not ready to revisit LFMB yet, but there WERE good times (all the fun filler before she reads the letter). like it was so good until it got bad. but even at its worst, it wasn't betty in ny. so.

[muttfangs]

processing shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit and rantiiiiinnnnggg👍

rrrghhhhhhgh I'm trying to do better by myself and others by being an effective communicator and being less "rigid" and "stubborn" but fffffffffrrghh one of my close irl friends is just **SO** incredibly annoying it's astounding at times. I love him but he REALLLLLYYY pisses me off sometimes with how obtuse and insensitive he is. for context he is a white-passing trans man. incredibly neoliberal. twink. conventionally attractive. I mention the above descriptors bc he's super insensitive and shallow in regards to how ppl look at times. he will occasionally bring up how he's happy his transphobic brother is "fat" and how he "looks better than him now". speaking to me. a fat dude. and I understand you hate your brother (he's a huge piece of shit!) but theres a ZILION things you could pick him apart for... and you chose his appearance? while speaking to me, someone who looks like him? and every time I catch him saying gross superficial shit I say "hey, that isn't fair to rag on someone's appearance" he PUSHES BACK AT ME LIKE??? BRO. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW HURTFUL THIS IS TO HEAR FROM YOU. EVEN IF IT ISN'T ABOUT ME DIRECTLY. YOU ARE STILL SAYING FAT AND BALD PEOPLE ARE UGLY. I AM BOTH. he also just like... doesn't want to listen to anyone's opinion if they feel differently from him regarding gender / politics. I attempt to open dialogues with him about leftist theory... and thinking deeper... but he thinks he's right no matter what and just digs his heels in and metaphorically plugs his ears and goes LALALALA and it's??? quite frankly infuriating for example: i've told him multiple times at this point that I'm not comfortable in sapphic spaces. I am a dude. I look like a dude. I sound like a dude. I'm gnc but I use he / him. and I don't want to be invasive in spaces meant for lesbians. it feels super awkward and upsetting (AND REALLY WEIRD.....) when there's "parties" that are for """"AFAB people only"""" and he asks me to go w/ him????????? like uhh...... this is gender reductionist theory 101. what are they gonna do like. check ppl's junk at the door? make you bring a copy of your birth certificate? that's fucking weird, man. he invited me to another one when I was at our mutual friends place last week saying "this one is different! no cis men allowed!!" and it just makes me stop and think for a moment like... how do you quantify cisness....? I look unclockable. I look cis. would I not be allowed in even though I'm trans? would they not allow me in until I showed them I have a cunt? like what is the fucking thought process here, bro? clearly every time you try to invite me to these like fuckin terfy ass VAGINA HAVERZ ONLY parties I get really uncomfortable so ??? why do you keep asking??? why do you not listen to me when I tell you it's fuckin WEIRD to be exclusionary like that?? why not instead have a "no transphobes allowed" rule instead (WHICH MAKES WAY MORE SENSE???? THAN NO CIS MEN????)?? ... like I hate to beat on my fuckin drum about gender theory adn whatever... but barring "cis men" from these parties bars (pls excuse my language I dont have a better descriptor) AMAB eggs from exploring. it bars ppl from finding themselves. it bars cis men who maybe want to play around with their expressions or sexuality. and, needless to say it's WILDLY UNCOMFORTABLE to be reduced back down to my genitals. I'm more than just a walking cunt. I'm a complex human being. and I have ****zero**** fuckign interest being in these thinly veiled VAGINUZ ONLY TERF spaces. but he's all about that shit and doesnt care!!!! whatever!!!!!!!!!!

[just-some-random-blogger]

hiiii catmom! i didnt have time to answer during the day yesterday but now im gonna give you all of my freezy hugs!

'MY CAT WHEN HE GOT A MOUSE' the way his nose touched the mouse as if he kissed it TT sorry but it was so soft TT 'HE JUST SCARED IT TO DEATH AND PLAYED WITH IT' its kinds cute tbh TT but im so sorry for this mouse TT hes too spoiled, i dont think his predator ancestors would approve of it. im judging jinjin rn but we still love him

ooh im so sorry for your problem with onions. yeah youve mentioned it. 'she made me chop so many TINY FRICKIN ONIONS' maybe it was a trial? 'DAMN I STILL LOOK HOT' ahadh last time you said the same thing hshahd. just proving youre really hot. ig it was s break up with onion. youre too hot for it.

taho looks SO good!! its illegal. i want to try it! (tbh i want to try everything you told me about but this!) it kinda looks like cognac but also like caramel TT 'i think you will love it' i love it already TT ig im gonna search for the places that make taho here. tbh all of your food look so appealing? maybe its bc its really unusual for me and everything unusual and harmless make us interested. 'he always says im ‘the pretty grandchild’' i mean hes not wrong.

'you can be the lizard' yk it doesnt work like this??? TT am i not your muning anymore??

'its my sister’s birthday' ooh, congratulations! ik you wont give my congratulations to her but anyways. i also seen that you cant just congratulate smn bc it means you praise them for making efforts in doing smth? i dont understand TT like i jast want a person to know im happy for them and i wish them to be happy too? im not even sure if its really true?? but anyway im judging 😡😡 'we’re going to buy CAKE' congratulations!!! hope it was tasty. btw, my mom bakes cakes a lot (she even makes some orders!! im so proud) so we often have some cake at home.

'she actually started on the tonic then went up' ok it was veryvery interesting and educational!! but i didnt get this TT why is it?.. what is it?... is it bad?.. but before this everything was absolutely great! i feel like all my friends who got mental traumas in music school shouldve asked you. 'if this is still confusing let me just give you a kiss' ohh thanks lovie TT why they cant do it at schools? thanks for your explanation and the kiss!! i appreciate your efforts!! get my freezy kisses!! and yk what? i was in a kindergarten some time ago and draw some notes for them! so im a musician of a kind too!

'figure it out with the context' tbh its difficult to translate rus into eng sometimes. weve lots of figurative phrases and constructions. its not like other languages dont but im not talking abt them rn. i cringe sm when i hear or have to make a literal translation? it usually was in school bc we didnt have enough time to make up a beautiful literary translation.

'can i say that to elderly people and they wont slap me?' you can. i personally allow you to do so. yeah its not a formal word but its not bad. they use it sometimes themselves.

'also he likes russian culture cos ig its memey?' i dont know if i should be offended or be proud.... its like i can insult myself, my friend and my culture but im still protective. yeah it may be memey BUT your brother is stupid, tell him this. im sure he doesnt even pronounce blyat right. if anything, its ok, im not offended or smth. just kidding. 'he’s just drawn to stuff like that' ok its cute maybe. does he know atomic heart? do you know it?

'im sorry if you were offended by that' it ok, im not. its pretty hard to really offend me if you dont straight up tell me insults. its kinds cute that you think so. languages sound differently and its fine.

'i will listen to this song later' did you?...

'we should run away together' i think we should riot TT

'im glad my SUFFERING is funny' its not your suffering its your prick being defeated :)

'we can talk about the darkling' ben barnes is so super handsome i CANT. these LOSERS 40 yo british actors???? hate you you sexy men!!! 'we can also talk about daemon' his hair is so pretty!! im obsessed with idea of him only letting his s/o do his hair (including cutting it).

'im down to hear' im down to read :) imagine him trying to be a better person? but in his twisted ways, not really doing smth relevant but idk.. spending more time with the court? spending more time in the red keep? attending council meetings not once but twice a year? its ooc? maybe. but imagine one exact moment when it strikes. when he realises that hes brother is in danger, his homeland is drown in crimes and vissy indeed can die. and if he die, realm has no real protector, its gonna be the living hell. so he becomes more timid and quite bc inside hes tearing himself apart, hes got such a big conflict, he finally understands the tragedy and tries to not fall apart bc he needs to be strong. hes the dragon after all? but in the end of the day he comes back to his chambers and want to cry (and maybe he does in the embrace of his wife. maybe even him being able to change is on her behalf and the result of her influencing him for a long time). YAY i got carried away AGAIN so surprising. hope it was interesting at least.

'how do you feel about hearing scary stuff' as long as there are no jumpscares im more than eager to listen to your stories!

'maybe i dont either' yk what? numbers dont even exist. mathematics is fiction. scientists are delusional. height is a lie.

'i’ll listen to these when i get home from school' did you?... if youre ever interested, ive found a translation of Наружу изнутри (Outside From The Inside) and the others are not so popular( and im too lazy to translate( but the lyrics arent the main factor of my love! the music! is! absolutely! fantastic! so i really want to know your reaction.

omg love TT get showers (you do NOT waste water) and drink more water!! always my freezy kisses!! have a nice day/evening/night!! take care! love u<з

us <3 HELLO. actually im the cat in the background HAHAHAH so sleepy HAHAHAHAHA i love sleeping

hiiii catmom! i didnt have time to answer during the day yesterday but now im gonna give you all of my freezy hugs!

<3 FREEZY HUGS thank you. it has been pretty cool the past few days. undoubtedly because of your hug hugs <3

'MY CAT WHEN HE GOT A MOUSE' the way his nose touched the mouse as if he kissed it TT sorry but it was so soft TT

my cat did that too. i assure you, its not a kiss but a smell. LOL

'HE JUST SCARED IT TO DEATH AND PLAYED WITH IT' its kinds cute tbh TT but im so sorry for this mouse TT hes too spoiled, i dont think his predator ancestors would approve of it. im judging jinjin rn but we still love him

T_T yeah jinjin fr put him through so much T_T like he would let the mouse crawl up the wall in an attempt to get away, but then he would pounce the poor thing and knock the mouse to the floor T_T i think we let him do this for ??? an hour??? T_T he doesn't know how to kill mouse T_T he's such a house cat. even his papa yushi is like that T_T BUT YUSHI IS WORSE. LITERALLY BRUTALIZES WHATEVER HE HUNTS. grabs them with his teeth then YEEEEETS them back and forth T_T NEVER KILLS THEM just keeps them in constant fear. a true menace. T_T yushi's mom, meowmeow, was the BEST KILLER or hunter, she was swift and merciful. the moment she got a mouse, she'd kill it it by choking it then eat it. T_T i mourn the fact meowmeow never got to teach her babies how to hunt cos our neighbors gave her away T_T and thus yushi never got to teach/show jinjin how to do that either T_T anyway jinjin and yushi = menace; mochi (yushi's brother) normally did that with lizards T_T he'd always end up breaking the poor lizard's tail before it eventually dies T_T ALSFHASFAL:SFHASF brutal. i miss mochi, i almost cried again thinking about him

ooh im so sorry for your problem with onions. yeah youve mentioned it. 'she made me chop so many TINY FRICKIN ONIONS' maybe it was a trial? 'DAMN I STILL LOOK HOT' ahadh last time you said the same thing hshahd. just proving youre really hot. ig it was s break up with onion. youre too hot for it.

IT WASNT A TRIAL T_T HELPPPP AHHAHHAH it was because the tiny onions came from my aunt's farm and they had been in the refrigerator for like so long so she was like do them all and i CRIED. HAHHAAH its funny i said the same thing. <3 love that for me. unfortunately, i see onion everyday T_T we can never break up T_T

taho looks SO good!! its illegal. i want to try it! (tbh i want to try everything you told me about but this!) it kinda looks like cognac but also like caramel TT 'i think you will love it' i love it already TT ig im gonna search for the places that make taho here. tbh all of your food look so appealing? maybe its bc its really unusual for me and everything unusual and harmless make us interested. 'he always says im ‘the pretty grandchild’' i mean hes not wrong.

it does look like cognac and caramel. !!! I HOPE YOU FIND A PLACE THAT SELLS FILIPINO FOOD!!!! maybe im biased but i think ALL those food is amazing LOL I MEAN I SHARED THEM of course i love them HAHH. i understand what you mean about unusual but is kind of amusing to think these foods are super normal to me hHIHIHIH cultural perspective is weird lol. also yes i am the pretty grandchild (even tho my grandma gaslighted me as a child into thinking i was ugly T_T HELP)

'you can be the lizard' yk it doesnt work like this??? TT am i not your muning anymore??

HAHAHHA YOU ARE MY MUNING MY LIZAR MUNING MINGMING LOVE LOVE HAHAHHA

'its my sister’s birthday' ooh, congratulations! ik you wont give my congratulations to her but anyways. i also seen that you cant just congratulate smn bc it means you praise them for making efforts in doing smth? i dont understand TT like i jast want a person to know im happy for them and i wish them to be happy too? im not even sure if its really true?? but anyway im judging 😡😡 'we’re going to buy CAKE' congratulations!!! hope it was tasty. btw, my mom bakes cakes a lot (she even makes some orders!! im so proud) so we often have some cake at home.

HEY!?! why wouldn't i give my congratulations to her 😡😭 ok maybe not right now she's in school. but i talk to her about you HAHAHHAH and she doesnt gaf T_T so /: yeah ig in english congratuations does mean that, praising someone for what they did. but i mean a birthday is a level up so CONGRATS! you made it this far <3 idk why youre judging again ? /: youre so judgy T_T

THE CAKE WAS SUPER TASTY but i did this thing again where i got more because i wanted more even though there was still some in my plate and then i suddenly became full halfway finishing my plate and then i was T_T forcing myself to finish cos i dont like wasting food. anyway i brought it up with me and ate it after a few minutes... then...i ... got some more T_T HAAHAHAH

OMG YOUR MOM MAKES CAKES i immediately though does she doe international shipping HAHAH but even if she did T_T im pretty sure that would be a bad idea cos her cake would be .... not cake anymore by the time it got here T_T HAHAHA

'she actually started on the tonic then went up' ok it was veryvery interesting and educational!! but i didnt get this TT why is it?.. what is it?... is it bad?.. but before this everything was absolutely great! i feel like all my friends who got mental traumas in music school shouldve asked you.

YOU HAVE FRIENDS WITH MUSIC TRAUMA HELPPPPPPP T_T also it's not bad! i just explained it to you because its VERY INTERESTING TO ME not because it's bad unexpected because before this there was no indication it was going to happen. im glad you think its great T_T i hope you understand somehow T_T i dont want to be telling you things and just confusing you T_T

'if this is still confusing let me just give you a kiss' ohh thanks lovie TT why they cant do it at schools? thanks for your explanation and the kiss!! i appreciate your efforts!! get my freezy kisses!! and yk what? i was in a kindergarten some time ago and draw some notes for them! so im a musician of a kind too!

YOU DREW NOTES IN KINDERGARTEN !!!!!!!!!!! WHHHATT I ONLY STARTED DRAWING NOTES IN LIKE HIGHSCHOOL T_T. i dont want to be kissed by my teachers... only a select few. i take all your freezy kisses and put them in my pocket for when i go to school later

'figure it out with the context' tbh its difficult to translate rus into eng sometimes. weve lots of figurative phrases and constructions. its not like other languages dont but im not talking abt them rn. i cringe sm when i hear or have to make a literal translation? it usually was in school bc we didnt have enough time to make up a beautiful literary translation.

omg same! we did that for highschool, like translating eng to fil and fil to eng and its like T_T so much gets lost in translation T_T. i actually saw this video of this man helping a cat down from a really high post and he was like давайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавайдавай and i was like ??? so i was like ok i think i know what that means but then the english translation wasnt the one in my head so iwas just very confused but then i thought its probably a lose translation and i am better than this english translator because i know nuisances happen in translations HAHAHAHAHAHAH but idk what the translation was in the subs anymore HAHAHAHAH

'can i say that to elderly people and they wont slap me?' you can. i personally allow you to do so. yeah its not a formal word but its not bad. they use it sometimes themselves.

ok HAHAHA then ig that means its really not a bad word AHAAH

'also he likes russian culture cos ig its memey?' i dont know if i should be offended or be proud.... its like i can insult myself, my friend and my culture but im still protective. yeah it may be memey BUT your brother is stupid, tell him this. im sure he doesnt even pronounce blyat right. if anything, its ok, im not offended or smth. just kidding. 'he’s just drawn to stuff like that' ok its cute maybe. does he know atomic heart? do you know it?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHH i dont think its an insult T_T but i mean if people made memes about my president/culture id feel really cringe about it BUT ALSO ITS FUCKING TRUE OUR PRESIDENT is CRINGE. i think memes are a great way to kind of ... critique society. we are all cringe. and we should all be better. also i;ll tell my brother about this later HAHAHAH

nvm i talked to him already

he knows atomic heart, and he says he thinks the plot of the game is interesting because its imaging a world where the soviets were competent enough to advance technologically in such a short period of time. also he says he wants to start a violent conversation with you HHAHAHH what do you feel about ukraine and the kidnapping of ukraninan children by the russian military and the wagner group, also on a less serious side how do you feel about TES3 morowind.

i just typed that how he told it to me. HGAHAHHAHAAH

he says the real reason why he's interested in russian culture is the disparity between the serfs and stuff ??? he's ranting rn incant type it all. he says its the novels. he wants me to remove some parts im not going to AHHAHAHAHAHA. he says you should have been burned my napoleon HAHAHAHAH. he wants to tell you so many stuff T_T (i think he wants to steal you from me i wont let him ur mine)

he says people normally go 'i will die for justice i will die for freedom' but russian says 'i will die' he finds that interesting.

he's saying a bunch of stuff about russian people. some guy ??? i didnt' catch it. 'everything in russia became rapidly modern after being free from the mongols all the way to modern russia, your problem is the oligarchy and the leaders of your country T_T dumb shits' HAHAHAHAHA

russians are hardworking but yall are brainwashed from tzars to princesses to putin. yall should apparently follow france and VIVA REVOLUTION lol. idk he's mentioning more people, Hadrian? idk some rando... from rome? and aurelian? ok. too much info. idk.

'russia is third rome? why dont you do the same things that made rome good'

he knows roadside picnic?

ukraine is older than russia but its older

just typing the things he's saying

final word: the white army should have won against the red army. HAHAHHAHAH

He wants me to ask you: what do you think based on what he's said, is he unhinged™?

'im sorry if you were offended by that' it ok, im not. its pretty hard to really offend me if you dont straight up tell me insults. its kinds cute that you think so. languages sound differently and its fine.

ok let me offend you then. i hate you :P SSKKSKS IM KIDDING I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

'i will listen to this song later' did you?...

i have not T_T i forgot about it aslfhasfkahfas i'll LISTEN WHEN I GET COME FROM SCHOOL I PROMISE

'we should run away together' i think we should riot TT

T_T no. we should have a house in the woods and take care of strays

'im glad my SUFFERING is funny' its not your suffering its your prick being defeated :)

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHH ok then hahahah i still want to finish the kylo fic i have been writing for days so T_T

'we can talk about the darkling' ben barnes is so super handsome i CANT. these LOSERS 40 yo british actors???? hate you you sexy men!!! 'we can also talk about daemon' his hair is so pretty!! im obsessed with idea of him only letting his s/o do his hair (including cutting it).

SO TRUE all these middle aged men that i love so much T_T ben barnes so pretty. AND THE HEADCANON WITH DAEMON L:ASHFLHASFLHASLFHASFH I WANT TO WRITE IT BUT MORE THAN ANYTHING I WANT TO LIVE IT T_T

'im down to hear' im down to read :) imagine him trying to be a better person? but in his twisted ways, not really doing smth relevant but idk.. spending more time with the court? spending more time in the red keep? attending council meetings not once but twice a year? its ooc? maybe. but imagine one exact moment when it strikes. when he realises that hes brother is in danger, his homeland is drown in crimes and vissy indeed can die. and if he die, realm has no real protector, its gonna be the living hell. so he becomes more timid and quite bc inside hes tearing himself apart, hes got such a big conflict, he finally understands the tragedy and tries to not fall apart bc he needs to be strong. hes the dragon after all? but in the end of the day he comes back to his chambers and want to cry (and maybe he does in the embrace of his wife. maybe even him being able to change is on her behalf and the result of her influencing him for a long time). YAY i got carried away AGAIN so surprising. hope it was interesting at least.

it is interesting. i like this idea <3 daemon is at his core a baby bro. idk if its out of character, i think daemon can be whatever you him to be. My brother said daemon is the worst ever in game of thrones and ???? I asked him if he even read it and he said he only knows outside stuff (hes dumb idc i love Daemon) but he agrees that Daemon is great cos of hiss actor. And i agree i love matty meow meow

'how do you feel about hearing scary stuff' as long as there are no jumpscares im more than eager to listen to your stories!

i'll tell you next letter i have to go home. i said i would go to school but i got lazy im just going to our old house to do laundry lol

'maybe i dont either' yk what? numbers dont even exist. mathematics is fiction. scientists are delusional. height is a lie.

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH my brother read aloud this and i was like ??? what is he quoting this time and it was just you AHAHAHAHAHHAAH

'i’ll listen to these when i get home from school' did you?... if youre ever interested, ive found a translation of Наружу изнутри (Outside From The Inside) and the others are not so popular( and im too lazy to translate( but the lyrics arent the main factor of my love! the music! is! absolutely! fantastic! so i really want to know your reaction.

i'll listen to these later i promise

omg love TT get showers (you do NOT waste water) and drink more water!! always my freezy kisses!! have a nice day/evening/night!! take care! love u<з

OK HAHAHHAHAHAHH i will shower later. my brother said i should bathe/drink my own sweat DISGUSTING RAT.

i love you byeeee <3

i ate crinkles also i hope you like crinkles.

xxx

[cirillafionaelenriannon]

i dont even feel like im that much of a defensive person because i always do my best with friends to not get defensive when confronted with a problem. its just with them because its like everytime they come in my room i know im about to get scolded for something. my sister says stuff like ‘mum wont talk to you about it so i will’ like shes my father. comes in and talks down to me, says dont you dare roll your eyes at me. i dont understand how she doesnt get this? i remember years ago when shed come crying to me about how our mother is abusive and horrible and i LITERALLY held her while she cried about it and now shes doing this to me? she says THATS my fault too because i was RUDE as if she wasnt the one who went back to kissing her feet like. she gets all the praise, all the together-time, the outings, everything because she acts like my mothers loyal guard dog. they talk badly about me behind my back all the time. im just unruly, im rebellious, im a bad daughter, im a bad sister, im a bad person. i should feel guilty for all the things ive done. like what the time i left a mess in the bathroom. the time i didnt wash a dish. god strike me fucking down for forgetting the laundry on the line! for rolling my eyes at my sister! for all these unforgiveable acts of abuse! i really am evil for all this! 

[thecherrygod]

my grandma thought she was going to sound like the nicest and most hardworking grandma bc she tried to make mashed potatoes for herself and one of my brothers and instead she ended up looking worse bc my other brother heard her and is complaining she didnt cook for him when hes clearly the “superior brother”