#sorry this is about that bad friend i have to break up w that ive posted abt on and off the past couple weeks/months maybe

[britneyshakespeare]

He won't leave my fucking friends alone.

[mediumgayitalian]

fic rec friday 14

hi!! welcome to fic rec friday. every week, i pick five fics i have bookmarked and rec them with a little review. check them out!

at last (i see the light) by @theroyalsavage

Of a tower, a missing prince with the sun in his hair and the ability to heal with a touch, and a terrible-dangerous-very-bad bandit who’s never been all that good at being very bad, dangerous, or terrible. An AU based off of Disney’s Tangled.

IVE BEEN W A I T I N G FOR A SOLANGELO TANGLED AU OMG. and this ATE. was so fucking good. obviously bc its theroyalsavage but still omg. sorry for harrassing u btw. but i LOVE this. nico as flynn pov and just fucking reluctantly smitten from the beginning.....oh i know that's right

2. a letter to the moon (it is not brighter than you) by @theroyalsavage

When his kingdom is plagued by a series of unsolvable murders, Prince Will Solace must confront several things: tragedy, helplessness, and the dizzy-sweet inevitability of falling in love.

is this, like the author's note indicates, reminiscent of bbc merlin? yes. and so i LOVE. rivals to friends to lovers my BELOVED. royalty aus my BELOVED. and honestly yall should be supporting my royalsavage agenda purely by her titles like LOOK at these. my heart hurts like

3. In the darkest grays by @izlaria

[The sun bursts, clouds break.] Nico di Angelo loves in color. This is something that Will Solace has always known.

hi. i am obsessed w this fic. a nico character atudy that is disguised as will character study that IS a will character study........something something they are braided strings of fate something something....also! sally jackson my love!! she is everything to me and of COURSE she would show up here!! i am also obsessed w longtime pining will like is it even a solangelo fic if will has not been in the trenches since he was ten years old

4. eudaimonia by @forochel

Nico watched Percy wave his arms excitedly at Annabeth and breathed through the habitual twisting of his stomach. For a moment, he thought of walking over to them - ever the masochist, he thought wryly to himself - but then Annabeth threw her head back in a laugh, and Nico dismissed the thought. There would be another time and another place. ** Diverges SLIGHTLY from canon in that Nico does not confess to Percy right off the bat - he gets the chance to heal, find himself and a place to stand in camp, and form friendships. Also, attempts to fix the whole Solangelo shoehorning thing.

AUTHOR IF YOU ARE STILL ACTIVE. FOROCHEL IF YOU SEE THIS. I AM BEGGING. KNEES ON THE GROUND HANDS CLASPED ROSARY CHOKING LIKE A NOOSE. PLEASE. PLEASE UPDATE THIS SERIES IM BEGGING. I KNOW IT IS UNGRATEFUL BUT 20K IS NOT ENOUGH. THIS IS N I C O S VOICE. LIKE ACTUALLY. dude it KILLS me this is HIM 😭😭😭 i cannot get over how wonderful this is and how FRESH....like this came out right after boo! it was fresh in ur mind!! and you went CRAZY like this is SO SO GOOD!! this fic is CONSTANTLY rotating in my mind and i am constantly thinking about the path it carved.....hve never gotten over it ever

5. Baby Satyrs and Charming Boyfriends by @biancadiangeno / @fiestiest

Nico di Angelo had absolutely no idea how babysitting works, and Will Solace was having way too much fun teasing him to actually help out.

this fic is so silly and fun. i love it!! and the ending made me giggle will needed that humbling

thank you for joining me this friday!! happy reading!!

[808airsoftbros]

Yujin's Wake Up Call

Author: This is a simple short story nothing too special and something that came to my mind that I want to write. If you want to see more of my stories check out my Masterlist.

Author's POV

It was another busy day at Starship, the IVE girls recently returned from their world tour and they were indeed exhausted after travelling the world for the past several months.

Yujin especially was tired along with the girls but she was disheartened when she heard that they would be visiting a patient with cancer as part of the wish foundation.

"Can you girls go for me? I'm too tired," Yujin asked and Gaeul rolled her eyes.

"Are you serious, Yujin? I get that you're tired from travelling the world but our manager says will be getting a whole month break afterward and we can do whatever we want from there," Gaeul pointed out and Yujin groaned.

"Yeah, and also our fans mean alot to us, and what about you?" Rei asked and Yujin scoffed.

"What are you on about? I'm only being nice because I have to and I hate that I have to be fake!" Yujin complained and Gaeul shook her head in disappointment.

Sadly, Yujin can be lazy at times, she'd be often caught slacking in dance practices when off camera, and you can bet every dollar that she tried every excuse you could think of to get out of her work.

This would annoy her members especially Gaeul and they'd always be fighting and arguing with one another.

"Yujin, do not start this shit again... We've been over this how many God damn times already?! When are you ever going to change?!" Gaeul angrily asked and Yujin rolled her eyes.

"When management doesn't constantly make us work to death," She answered spitefully.

"Well, if you do not behave, Ms. An Yujin, you will be one sorry woman, do you hear me?" Gaeul coldly warned but Yujin shrugged it off.

Because of how she always tends to act, the crew and management, and even her own members don't like nor respect her, but she doesn't seem to care.

Yujin also tends to have bad habits of drinking and smoking too much and Gaeul always catches her vaping when she's not supposed to.

Wonyoung and Yujin's friendship began deteriorating as she was fed up with her antics and was disheartened to see her friend changing for the worse.

One quiet night, Yujin snuck out of the dorm without waking up the girls and sat on a bench to smoke and drink.

It was quite foggy and there were hardly any noises to be heard besides the slight sounds of the breeze which was perfect for her.

"Perfect. No one to bother me," Yujin muttered as she takes a sip of soju.

"Excuse me," She heard a feminine voice asked and she turned to see a unfamiliar woman.

Yujin jumped in surprise as she didn't notice the woman approaching her.

"W-what do you want?" She nervously asked.

"Oh, sorry for startling you, it's quite a foggy night is it?" She kindly asked.

"I guess you can say that..." Yujin muttered to her and took a puff from her pod.

"Shouldn't idols be limiting how much they drink and smoke?" The woman asked as she sat down next to her.

"Why is it your business?" She snarled and the woman frowned.

Seeing Yujin's attitude, the woman just stared at her intently and then gave her a cold demeanor.

"I'll tell you why you're here... It's because you're lazy, useless, and a pathetic excuse of an idol," The woman coldly said and Yujin was taken aback.

"Who the fuck are you to judge me?! I can't help but get overwhelmed sometimes! Maybe if you were an idol then you'd understand!" Yujin retorts and the woman shook her head.

"Tsk. Overwhelmed? Only because you just have to visit a special patient? Is that your only excuse? As someone who has a chronic heart condition, you disgust me," The woman angrily replied and Yujin was now lost for words trying to come up with the words.

"I-" She was about to say but was cut off.

"Shut it! Did you know I was once an idol like you? I couldn't practice or sing on some days but I still give it my all! Unlike you, who has a management who at least cares for you and would get you the help you need... My management never cared for me, if they don't see me as efficient... Poof, they will simply get rid of me like I'm sort of a piece of garbage meant to be disposed of," The woman explained her story and Yujin gulped in fear.

"Every day I have to work through excruciating pain! The only person who ever cared for me was the custodian who works here, and I have to keep working no matter what just to survive, and here I see a spoiled rotten you always coming up with excuses just to get out of work! You leave me speechless... Do you have any idea how lucky you are?" The woman coldly asked with a tear shedding from her eye and Yujin tried to shrug off the feeling of guilt but no matter how hard she tried... It lingered inside of her but she refused to show it.

"There are many other idols left forgotten in the winds of time and talents wasted, they would give anything to be in your position yet you couldn't care less... It's pitiful," She finished and Yujin was boiling deep inside.

"And who the hell are you?!" Yujin asked her and the woman grinned.

"Consider me your wake up call, An Yujin, I hope one day you realize the error of your ways... Goodnight," The woman bid goodbye and got up from the bench.

Yujin watched as the mysterious woman walked into the fog and vanished out of sight.

After that, Yujin was left angry and confused, she wondered who the woman was as she had never met or heard of her. She quickly concludes her drinking and smoking session and goes back inside the building.

When she got into the corridor she finds the janitor Jake sweep mopping the floor.

"Hey, Jake!" Yujin called out and he paused.

"Yes?" Jake replied and Yujin sighs.

"Do you happen to know a woman who was an idol here? She claims to have a heart condition but... I don't know she's making it up or not to trick me into making me feel bad," She asked and Jake frowned before looking down.

Jake goes into his pocket pulling out a picture of the very same woman that Yujin encountered earlier and her eyes widened in surprise.

"Is this the woman you're referring to?" Jake asked as he showed the photo.

"Y-yes, that's her alright, who is she?" She curiously asked and he deeply sighed.

"Her name is Jennifer Jung, she was once a trainee here, she was also the sister of Jessica and Krystal Jung, but she had a severe and chronic heart condition... I tried my best to help her when management wasn't looking but it wasn't enough, she perished five months into her training," He explained the story and sighed once more.

Yujin froze in terror and shivers were sent down her spine as she could hardly believe that she was talking to the spirit of Jennifer this whole time.

She didn't know what to make of it but Jake didn't see her as a crazy person and he already figured she saw Jennifer. Yujin returns to her dorm and Jake continues his janitorial duties.

After that night, Yujin was a changed woman much to everyone's surprise, she eventually quit smoking and stopped drinking as much, although she mostly kept to herself, she stopped complaining and followed their schedules.

Yujin and the girls visited the hospital patient without issues or trouble much to management's delight and they were happy they were able to deliver someone's last dying wish.

Sometimes Yujin felt the urge to return to her old habits but refused and kept going no matter what. Yujin would never forget that encounter that night.

She never saw Jennifer again but on some foggy nights, she felt her presence was near but never again would she take anything for granted.

[loser-jpg]

hi im back in the fuckin building again UR LAST PIECE JUST MADE ME TOO INSANE IM SORRY let me know if youre getting overwhelmed w requests i will give you a break sobs :(( (i say when ive only sent two,,, is that ridiculous. idk. JUST CHECKING)

but i was thinking about idia (SURPRISE. I KNOW.) with someone (a crush? friend? s/o? YOU PICK IDK) who has a hard time grasping technology? like,,, if theres something that tells you to scan your card they somehow CANNOT figure out how and where to scan their card for the LIFE OF THEM. or if a website is trying to prompt them to click on certain things they cant find them at ALL and just end up laughing at their own incompetence. this totally isnt me btw.

it can be headcanons or a drabble/oneshot like last time? whichever is easier for you <3 !!!

IF YOU DO WRITE THIS THANK YOU ILY BUT IF YOU DONT I STILL LOVE U AND THANK YOU RAHHHHH <3 i hope leona gets his ass over to u and gives you a hug and kiss.

Idias reaction to someone who has a hard time with tech would differ greatly depending on who you are to him. If your just some pleb he's making fun of you for not understanding something so basic to him. "Ha, I knew you were a noob but this is just hilarious." I can see that shit eating grin of his now.

If you're a friend he's still giving you a hard time, but he's also helping you out to try and teach you and get you to understand. Still is kinda rude about it though, he finds it so easy he can't understand how people mess it up. "How do you not know how to do this? *sigh* What you do is..." He then either explains it perfectly, or explains it as though you somehow know tech language while being bad at using tech. You're going to have to ask him to dumb it down for you.

If he has a crush on you but the two of you aren't dating, he's pushing away the urge to jokingly poke fun at you as much as possible, while also jumping at the chance to help you. He'd be all nervous at first though (he got that crush only social anxiety). "Ah, you're having trouble? Here, let me help." He shows you how to do whatever you were struggling with rather than just telling you that time. Secretly hopes you still have trouble so he can help again.

If the two of you were dating he's definitely all together lost hope at getting you to understand tech at that point. He's just doing anything tech related for you without trying to help you learn LMAO. Fully believe he'd get comfortable with someone he's in a relationship with and would lose a lot of nervousness and be able to act more like himself around them. He's poking fun at your incompetence but only so long as you understand it's a joke. "You still can't do this stuff? Ha, you're hopeless, aren't you."

And if you're someone he doesn't like he's bringing your idiocy up at any chance :D

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

Quitting Weed Day 9 Status Report 📝

to start off , i'll say, i do indeed feel like Ass ! this post might get a tad emo. regretting my life choices to smoke for as long as i have 😕 But then again, maybe that's harsh, cus i was just doing the best i could with the circumstances i been dealt in the past.

i couldnt just quit cold turkey cus every time i try that its way too intense and i alwaus end up going back. So the past 9 days i've been hitting my (extremely weak) weed cart a couple times a night, only after 9pm, just to help me sleep. Before that i was smoking probly like. 5-8 bowls a day, followed by hitting the weed pen RELENTLESSLY all night until i passed out. So its still been a huge change lol. From tonight onwards tho i'm done w the weed pen and ready to try 0 thc 🙏

kind friend @palmceader sent me a CBD tincture made for sleep (thanku again 🥹) which im sure has a TINY percentage of thc, but nothing even close to how much im used to.

i cant even imagine how fried my dopamine receptors are, cus honestly, i feel Fucked. spaced out is an understatement. i cant focus on anything and its kinda driving me insane. it feels impossible to read or draw or do any of my hobbies.. my body feels heavy and depressed. No motivation. its kinda the opposite of what i was expecting. i can barely keep my eyes open during the day..

on a brighter note i havent been struggling too much with sleep or appetite. i think sleepy time tea + the tincture + magnesium is rly helping. my dreams recall is already improving so much, and the times i have nightmares arent as bad as its been previous times i tried to quit. i havent rly struggled with cravings at all either, which used to be a huge obstacle for me ! im just so over it now. i was starting to get chest pains and coughing a lot, which was taking any joy out of the act of smoking for me.

morbid to say but I often think of my father and how his rampant addictions directly lead him to such a painful and horrific early death. its a rare perspective of imagery so disturbing , i know i can't go on in such a manner. Like, what a fucking fool i would be! For others i can understand it but for me, no. it has haunted me for a long time to know i'm letting myself go down that path, even with all my insistent self-justification that his death is what brought me to this in the first place. deep down ive been knowing i need to break the cycle like i have the choice and the power, im still alive im still here ..

Sorry if thats depressing to bring up! i do feel depressed tho. i cant use weed to hide from my pain anymore.. i have to rewire my whole ass method of coping with stress at age 30. i know i can do it but its gonnnna be a long winded process full of ups n downs. Running away is no longer an option and thats a lot to face! a lot of old wounds i never rly dealt with, cus i kept my head in the 💨clouds💨 for so long.

i promise not to give up this time tho no matter how hard it gets 🙏 i want to set a good example too like indunno a lot of younger ppl follow me now i dont wanna feed into narratives that may influence them in bad directions. i have a responsible heart. i rly dont think weed is cool i havent since i was like 16. i was just dependent on it so i tried to romanticisze its role in my life. its silly.

im kinda laughing now cus im like god, i initially felt like the reason im quitting is so i can be more active in my dream world, but the more i think about it the more i notice MANY many more reasons to quit that go way deeper.

All in all the reason im talking about it is to maybe inspire other ppl who have been on the verge of quitting but too afraid to rly take the plunge-- Ur not alone, ur not weak for being addicted, if u need to reach out to me u are more than welcome.

Ppl rly downplay weed addiction cus the withdrawals arent life threatening like other substances, but that doesnt mean its a walk in the park. Most ppl i know who are stoners have never been able to quit for similar reasons as me. It takes a major psychological hold over u. if u ever need to vent about it or need advice, im here!

if u read all of this, pls dont worry abt me xD Even if it feels miserable rn i have faith things will improve, the heaviness and brainfog will lift, the emotions will be purged, i am excited for my future. One day at a time....Dont giving up 🙏

Signed, PMD9

[therosevest]

ok and now i need to talk this out on here cause like in all reality idc that much but this is just a little. awk. i might do this under the cut just so i can talk in a bunch of little paragraphs if thats chill ok ty

sooooo right ive mentioned that sam has been talking abt having beef specifically w his roommates but also that friend group at large bc they went on spring break trips w/o him. The roommate took a duo trip with fellow dyke and everyone else did like a big thing together erm

right thats just the context idrc except for the amount of times sams vaguely alluded to it and idk any other details. um but he has called his roommates like the 'poison pills' of the whole ordeal since they literally live together (but they havent been that close. prob since their freshman year when sam was out for a semester. which isnt inherently er bad but hes acting like hes been victimized for the last few years)

and like last night after this long sesh of working on our assignment sam and i r walking to the bus stop and he says something about finding out just like shitty awful drama and how it sucks having to live with 'two of those people' lmao sorry im not laughing im just like. whatever

this said i have plans to see. should i name sams roommate. ok i cant do that rn but we have plans to hang on monday and i would be seeing sam like immediately after for class. and esp if we're hanging out on campus like we might have a repeat of last time where sam spots us out and im not sure if he'd approach and hang this time. but hes obviously aware that me and them like chat

so it's like not so subtle that hes trying to get me to either ask abt the roommate or flat out not trust/see them anymore and i just havent engaged which might come across as "fake" but like. well ill be honest man theyre all a year younger than me and that doesnt mean much but it does feel very immature to handle things this way idk the whole story but im not gonna get roped into the like Omg i cant talk to this person bc of beef idk about...

and maybe i should feel worse abt not being #loyal to someone who is or at least at one point was considered a friend esp when it comes to someone that yeah ig he does know better than i but i dont... sorry ive been talking abt this bitch like cady and regina george except im not psychosexually obsessed im just like. hes been more insufferable than i remember lately yk.

i feel the Tiniest bit bad and like oh have i taken advantage of u bc yk we've hung and smoked and had dinner together often at ur place and def wormed my way into talking to the roommate via u etc but then i remember the way sam talks abt like anything and i dont feel all that bad

and theres this whole thing abt the eclipse i dont have plans to go see it it might happen last second but now after sams asked me abt it and messaged me like yeah idk we (him and his bestie) could maybe take a bus but we'd need a place to stay (asking to stay w my family bc i mentioned it like once on my close friends) and then theyre like going to a diff city anyway like oh my gooooood it's gonna be seen as shady and i dont really CARE i just need assurance that this is stupid as hell and its ok if im a little bit of an asshole about it. i dont think being mad abt the eclipse would hold up but w/e

has not been at the top of my worries and still isnt but now that this is all coming up in the next week im like frank g*llagher voice (sorry) oh Jesus Christ. you know

[moonjxsung]

STAR IM DEVASTATED so i have a priv twt acc right w some irls and this stay from stayville req-ed me a long time ago and i was soooo happy that i was mutuals w someone from stayville and i THOUGHT everything between us was cool? but today they unfollowed me and removed me as a follower and im devastated i dunno why they did that :((( i don't think they had a problem w me saying nsfw stuff cuz they previously tweeted things like "cancelling someone over saying smth nsfw abt an adult is stupid" and also ive seen them interact w nsfw minsung posts so i dunno if me tweeting smth like "i wanna suck flxs cock sooooo bad" couldve made them wanna break the mutual??? i dmed them too and i was like "heyy is there a reason you don't wanna be moots w me anymore </3" and not even minutes later they turned off their message perms and im devastated. its STUPID bcs they'd barely interact w me Sure but it felt nice to have a stay be my friend on my priv twt that's usually just for my irls and i </3 it's ironic that they did that too bcs just earlier today (before they broke the mutual) i noticed that my followers went down (i have a very low amt already. like. 25. not even joking) and i tweeted "yall dont wanan be friends w me anymore </3" bcs like. my followers are QUITE LITERALLY only my irls + a skz writer so i was (i think rightfully??) alarmed that the number went down!!!! man im just Sad about it and SIIIGH i know i shouldnt care so much bcs at the end of the day they're just a person online but the least they could've done was dm me back and explain why and GHFSDDSJHFKJADDSDSAAAAA you get me!?!! also im sorry i dropped this on you randomly feel free to ignore LMAAOOAOAO can i be 💫 anon? thank yew <3

(Adding 💫 to the anon list!!! Also fun fact that’s my favorite emoji of all time. Slay)

I feel like I’m the LAST person who should be giving advice abt this bc one of my mutuals and a very good friend of mine who I’d been talking to every day randomly blocked me on everything this week after me literally being there to console this person for every little thing and playing into this pretend homoerotic friendship we had even though she was clearly looking for another boyfriend and would get mad if I even called another girl pretty (???) I wish nothing but the absolute best for her but like…. The double standard is WILD. to not provide closure to a months-long friendship is just genuinely a very mean spirited thing to do imo.

(If she’s reading this, best of luck with everything and I hope you know I cared for you a lot more than you think I did. I distanced myself because you were clearly looking for someone to fill a void in your life that I could simply not fulfill, and I didn’t want to lead you on, nor be kept around like I wasn’t allowed to talk to other girls either. Regardless, I hope you know I used to sleep with my phone on full volume in case you called, and I deleted a page worth of poetry in my notes app for you I meant to deliver on your birthday. I also deleted your number so I have zero way of contacting you, but I will always be here if you need me. Take care and I love you always, I hope you still see me when you look up at the moon)

It’s not the first time I’ve lost an internet friend to the magical world of blocking, but fortunately the attitude I’ve developed towards it is that none of this is real!!! These are people on the internet miles away you’ve never met irl and they have no real impact in your life whether they remain following you or not. I’ve lost internet friends nearly a decade ago that I don’t even remember anymore. Better ones will come along!!! Especially stays! This fandom has so many beautiful remarkable people who are actually worth following and they wouldn’t cut you off like that. Sending so many positive vibes your way and I KNOW that the universe will send you some better mutuals. In the meanwhile I will be your internet bestie and I would never unfollow you for nsfw content or without some form of an explanation. And I also want to suck Felix’s dick. 🩷🫶

(I love you, don’t be so hard on yourself!!!! You’re wonderful, angel 🩷 anyone would be lucky to be moots with you)

[its-koili]

hey guys. sorry for being gone for so long. heres an update

(tw for: mention of violence / gore, general distress, mental health issues)

(tw below)

.

basically i had a huge mental health crisis. i was having 24/7 constant rolling panic attacks from may of 2023 to january of this year. my last big meltdown was in early february. been processing a lot of CSA trauma and some recent trauma that ive gone through. i think i talked about my panic attacks before leaving social media but idk i dont remember. isolated myself from absolutely everybody.

the main thing that made me leave was that while i was keeping up to date on the g3n0c1d3 (censoring bc idk how tumblr is about it), and when i was looking in the replies / related of the awareness videos, i came across 4 accounts dedicated to using gore for clicks / shock. not videos of the g3n0c1d3 (thank god bc of how they were using the vids) but of unfortunate every day situations and cam footage. like, the kind of stuff you could see on liveleak back in 2010. just out in the open on twitter. they all had usernames like "(insert number here) ways to die)". they were all content farms for click/ad revenue. it was too much it was a huge trigger and i had a full on meltdown. the bluecheck ppl on twitter were using the replies of the videos people uploaded for raising awareness to upload mindless g0re for money. the fact that peoople have 0 compassion for human life sent me into a spiral that i couldnt get out of. (i reported 3 out of the 4 accounts i was able to and 3 got taken down but 1 is still up and it odesnt seem to be uploading the hardcore g0r3 anymore. so thats good. but that was one of the reasons i left social media. ive been keeping up to date w the news but thats it. i left my socials entirely and ive only been on my phone to look up recipes or to use my computer for media research groceries and gaming and shows

that was the main thing that pushed me to leave. i just couldnt take it anymore. during the start of my crisis last year, i was planning on taking a small break, but all of that pushed me over the edge and i dropped everything. after that, my issues got worse and i dont remember most of it. thankfully. but i couldnt bring myself to talk to anybody. i isolated myself and just. laid in bed. but im doing better so i guess thats good

on another topic ive beeen nervous to post this on main but during all of this (ive talked abt tihs a little bit on my priv before i left) i found out that im a system a long while back. my dad (one of my abusers) had/has DID and it terrified me to think that i could be anything like him. i also knew cereal abuser who pretended to be a system to get away with stuff/abusing their friends (and then years later admitted that they werent a system and siad that systems are fake.) LOTS of tears. lots of crying over this. was in denial for a few weeks. cried some more. then eventually came to terms with it.

i dont want to post abt my system online too much bc i dont want to act like this is some fun trendy thing bc its not. it makes day to day living very hard (some lighter/funnier issues that make it hard are: arguing with an alter bc YOU dont know where THEY put YOUR MEDS, not being able to cook because one alter can and the other cant, your art style not being consistent because their styles are different). i dont want to really make it a massive part of my identity online bc its not a big deal! theres just Multiple Little Guys in my brain. so. im a system! im the same but....this explains why i dont remember talking to certain people SUIDHUFHX. i always felt bad. makes conversing with online friends hard especially if icons/usernames are changed. ill make a separate post about this someday thatll go into detail a bit more.

i went years thinking it was just "kinning" but it wasnt lol. it turns out that your personality completely shifting, tastes in food / music / art / media changing, the way you walk / talk dress changing, and having complete memory blackouts when you """"kin shift"""" isn't normal. /lh (dw ive had a lot of time to come to terms with this)

but basically right now ive been spending time getting to,,know myself?? iive been using simplyplural for myself for several months and im uncovering a lot of my memories / trauma ect bc alters can write down what they need to in the chat. so i can go back later and read it. its been v helpful!

i will not be coming back just yet. i have no interest in using social media rn or drawing or writing unfortunately. ive been working on my original stuff here and there but i havent been drawaing fandom stuff bc im not hyperfixating on a fandom.

also. some things have come up. im not going to say anything until the party in question is stable/safe/comfortable before i even suggest anything for context (i dont plan on talking abt anything at all unless they start talking publicly). right now i am helping someone through abuse. their wellbeing is my #1 concern. i'll think about other things after im sure theyre okay.

i dont really have any resolutions as to how things are going but i do feel better and im not having as many panic attacks. i dont really know where im going with this now sorry. just trying to brush over the basic topics before i go. idk if anybody remembers me bc ive been gone for so long so idk if im just talking into the wind but if i am thats fine honestly this is helping me reorganize my thoughts (i type these vents out a lot on docs so i probably wont remember posting this hiudhvu)

other than that. i dont draw or write anymore. i think in the past 6 months ive drawn like....5 things. its. weird. im completely disconnected from fandoms now. coming up to a full year of not having a hyperfixation at all.

my bday was on the 6th. im 27 now im very old (everybody forgot it asides from my husband (and the people he reminded) n my abuser). ive been trying to cook and bake more and ive been playing video games again. planning on getting back into drawing soon and working on my original stuff. when i come back im planning on redesigning my profiles and updating my social media bios and stuff bc theyre so old. also ill make a section on my carrd for my system. there you go theres some positivity to the update nxfjdfjh. sorry if i dont seem very enthused im very tired so typing has been a chore hfuidshuifv.

sorry that this was a lot or if it seems disjointed i was trying to put down as much into this as possible without making it too long

bye!!! see u all soon!

[melaniepilled]

so. SO. my ex (the obsessive one) texted yesterday. so i installed insta again. hm. we've been talking. and like.

i do love him?? but i dont know if i like him anymore. i mean, do we even have that spark anymore? like what was the 'spark' in the first place lmao mutual insanity? all we did when we were together was break up and threaten each other and get in trouble and ruin each other's friendships and talk about wanting to die. like, it was honestly scary. sometimes i would break up w him or something and hed say he was going to khs and that fucked me up, like really badly. but it was also satisfying in some sick fucking way i WANTED him to feel bad but i didn't want him to actually die and he scared me. he did it so many times i felt physically unsafe which is unreasonable right because?? not real??

50% of the time we talked we were reassuring each other that yes i love u no ure not ugly and disgusting and evil I'll be really sad if u die. it messed me up??????? and he was still the only person to ever understand me ykwim????? i never opened up to anyone like that before or after him.

in the end i broke up with him for once and for all and he blocked me some time after that cause he couldn't stay friends w me if he wanted to move on. and yeah like I've been trying to get in touch with him for a year now i hate myself for it i hate myself for being so horrible to him. i did a lot of unacceptable shit when i was w him i was NOT a good partner. and i always ended up making him feel bad for being upset w me. why did i do that like was i really that desperate for love??? was it REALLY love or just some sick need to be needed?

anyways i dated someone else after him and... yeah. didn't work out cause i still kept missing him. so im incapable of being a good faithful partner to ANYONE

i think he wants to get back together and like. im not sure what to do. i really fucking need him, like, genuinely. but hes obv not in his right mind and im obv not in my right mind AND ive only ever used him but hes the closest ive ever felt to love i dont know I DONT KNOW im sorry for everything but i know if i had to do it all again i would do everything the same way

[tumbleweeddesktop]

WEH IM SO HAPPY YOU LIKE THE REDESIGN IGNDJFBSJBFJDJF fun fact it started when i made him in a picrew way back and i got the idea to just go ham with his design XDD i dont know why it just happened

AND SINCE YOU DONT MIND MY PROJECTING I CAN SHARE SOME OTHER HEADCANONS I HAVE ABOIT HIM !! >:D

He's autistic as hell and possibly has adhd too, like you cant tell me this bastard is neurotypical

Hypermobility <3<3<3 he constantly puts himself in the weirdest positions and claims its comfortable. The downside is joint pain ����

He actually doesn't take care of himself very well. Its better now that he's with Nanami but he used to be an absolute mess mentally and physically

Talks A LOT to whoever will listen, but he tends to stutter when hes excited or stressed. ALSO VOCAL STIMS. Hes pretty much never quiet even when not talking, constantly making random noises and humming to himself esp when hes bored

LOVES doing little crafts, those beaded bracelets he wears? He makes those himself, and actually had tons of them, but they often fall off or break in battle (these things never hold on that long i know from experience) so he constantly makes new ones. Also he def makes them for his friends too. Nanami has one he always wears but its usually hidden in his sleeve so Gojo doesnt mock him about it

ALSO LIKE YOU SAID WITH SEWING!! Ive actually been meaning to get into it myself and thats literally perfect for him... he def has an evergrowing army of little plushies he made himself <3

And adding to what you said about him making bread for Nanami, he overall likes baking and cooking. I saw other ppl saying Nanami is good at cooking too, so i feel like while he stays with more savory things, Haruta def specializes in sweets.

Sensory issues galore! Hes very sensitive to certain sounds and despises loud noises, so he often carries around headphones to shut himself off if needed

Okay this one is super self-indulgent but. Despite his luck and overconfidence he is Very prone to stress, which leads into stress eating, which leads into him being a bit on the chubby side..

LASTLY BC DAMNIT THIS IS GETTING TOO LONG. He is huge on PDA. Constantly holding Nanami's hand and hugging him and stealing kisses here and there. Nanami found this annoying at first, but now he just accepts it -w- oh and overall Haru is super clingy in private too like its impossible for Nanami to pull him off sometimes hes like a tick <//3

Okay thats it im going now bye sorry theres so much TwT

YES YES YES TO ALL OF THIS LMAOOOO

Wait can I respond with how Nanami interacts with your hc with Haruta??? Cs I have some ideas, well some doesn't relate to Nanami but SHSUSUSHSHHS

During a bad sensor day Nanami leaves him alone cs sometimes the presence of other people nerved him and can make it worse (im projecting but shuhshhhhhhhh)

Haruta definitely does some yoga after noticing his joint pains getting worse, and he's really into it because it slows his mind down and once he got good at the more complex positions he starts doing it randomly to relax himself

Their condo has like boxes of craft supply, like beads, fabrics and patches, embroidery supplies, and the end products as well just displayed on every surface possible. Some students that visit ended up wanting some of them and Haruta just gives them away.

His sewing venture is disastrous at first, but after a few lessons he got the basics down and starts making progress. The first good (in his standards) thing he made is a tie [Im actually projecting abt sewing cs im do sew but SHUSHSHSHSH]

Nanami "I'm-only-tolerating-your-touches" Kento when Haruta goes away on a prolonged mission :

MINE'S ALSO LONG LMAO BUT YEAH SOME OF MY THOUGHTS ABT ALL THIS LSJSHDJSJFHHSJAJ

[legy]

random game roundup

Wand Wars - $11

Included in Bundle for Ukraine

this is pretty neat. wand wars is a party game about being wizards shooting a magic orb at each other and the last one standing wins. this has to have far more staying power as a multiplayer game but, alas, i am by my lonesome. i didnt love the control scheme (does really feel like it wants to be a twin stick shooter and not something played on keyboard). also it really bugged me that the projectile wasnt pixellated when everything else was. wand wars kinda fits the niche of a good boutique board game IMO, fun to break out with nerd friends at some nerd gathering

Baldi's Basics Plus - $10

Included in Bundle for Ukraine

my commitment to the premise of this project being vastly outweighed by how much i dont actually want to play baldi's basics. i could have hit random again and nobody would be the wiser

so i guess my take is roughly that im in the exact nostalgia bait audience for baldi's basics (i played tons of these edutainment games in elementary school) but its specifically aping so much of its aesthetic and presentation from sonic's schoolhouse which i cant imagine had a widespread school computer lab adoption. if someone made a off-color video game inspired by Disney's Adventures in Typing with Timon & Pumbaa or smth that would probably actually get somewhere. for me. also i hate jumpscares and YOU DONT EVEN SOLVE MATH PROBLEMS IN THIS ONE???? WHATS THE POINT

this is not a good review for baldi's basics sorry. i like that the camera controls are vertically locked even tho the game makes a lot of other concessions for a modern audience. and there really is nothing else in its genre that looks like this

Valfaris - $24.99

i cannot for the life of me figure out why i own this game.

ok first things first the art direction in this fucks insanely. it feels like a ps1 game in a way many other ps1 throwbacks don't. i really enjoyed looking at valfaris.

however this controls like SHIT and not in a way that i think would be fixed by a controller. i spent a couple minutes rebinding my controls so it isnt arrow keys to move and q/w for main attacks (this randomly reset to default at some point so that was cool) and i was still fighting for my life to actually accomplish what the game wants me to. there's a segment only a few seconds into the first level where you need to climb on ropes over some evil dogs to cross a ledge but 1. the dogs can jump up and attack you and 2. you can only aim your gun straight down. and the dogs respawn infinitely so you cant jump into the dog pit, slaughter them all and continue on your way. i legitimately could not get past this section because the controls were so ass. really unfortunate.

also the game has "wishlist the sequel" as one of its three menu options which: lmao

Thou Shalt Be Brave - $1

Included in Bundle for Racial Justice and Equality

this is a micro-rpg that is imo unfortunately hamstrung by its gimmick (the really small resolution). theres some really bad readability issues happening in this game. there is a manual on the itch page which helps a lot in combat but its really hard to excuse the "you sease lok s" message you see constantly.

this is pretty light on gameplay also but its generally a pretty fun timewaster. you explore the woods and fight guys and the ultimate goal appears to be maxing all your stats. i just wish i wasnt examining every button like it was a cryptic glyph to decipher

Planets Under Attack - $11.99

you know its bad when ive had this game on steam for over 10 years and have no idea what it is

i'm not sure how to describe planets under attack. it's a very minimalistic strategy game about spending resources to take over planets in each map. it seemed pretty chill but i did kinda feel like i was wasting my time playing it. the presentation is really competent and overall i think this is the strongest of the five games i played today

[spatio-rift]

6,7,13,16 for the ask game U CAN ANSWER PRIVATELY I JUST WANNA KNKW

THANK YOU LAB i think i can answer these publicly

6 (which ship fans are the most annoying?): i mean considering ive had the first image saved on my phone for years and i made the second one based on it months ago i feel like i couldnt possibly answer anything else

i dont even dislike sns itself but the way the fans act about hinata in particular makes me so genuinely angry.LOL like theyre so pissed naruto didnt marry sasuke that they invent a whole new narrative where hinata was always fully in control of the hyuuga clan and saw & treated neji like a slave and would happily brand one of her children with the caged bird seal. nevermind the fact that she was practically disowned and her own father told her teacher that she could die for all he cared, that she worked with neji to change the hyuuga clan all throughout the timeskip despite him almost killing her shortly before, and that they have canonically succeeded in making the branch family equals to the main one and that they do not use the seal anymore. like can you shut up about hinata if you dont even know that the only way to break the seal is by dying so shes not simply refusing to undo it and that they dont brand people who dont have the byakugan because the whole point of it is to protect the secrets of the byakugan so its not like boruto or himawari would ever be at risk of getting the seal since boruto doesnt have the byakugan. which btw doesnt make sense w the established hyuuga lore and neither does himawari awakening it since theyre supposed to be born with it and its the sharingan that people have to awaken but whatever. this is unrelated to sns fans im just annoyed that kishimoto forgot. ALSOOOO sns fans making post after post about how hinata forced this marriage on naruto, and that he is sooo unhappy in it that he GOTTA cheat on her with sasuke. WHY DO YOU ALL WANT HIM TO BE A CHEATER SO BAD go outside and mind your own business!!!!! ohhhh it annoys me !!!!!! sorry.

honestly the second one is more that theres a specific clique of fdkd fans that ive passionately hated since 2018 but like... if theyre the only fdkd fans i see then i can say i hate fdkd fans. but unlike sns i also happen to fucking hate the ship. LOL

7 (what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?): i think this one is a little hard to answer because im too stubborn to ever really let fandom make me hate a character for real? but people have definitely made me care WAYYY less about sasuke. sorry this is about naruto again and definitely related to the people from the question above but also as a taka fan i just kind of hate that most people talking about taka are sasuke fans and they tend to do it in a way where like. they dont like team7 so taka are their replacement and they dont acknowledge at all everything shitty sasuke did to them or even the circumstances of their getting together. like theyre not a team because sasuke likes them as opposed to team 7 they were just the most useful to him for his revenge against itachi... like it all just feels a little like sasuke fans only think of taka as sasukes accessories and dont really care abt them as characters really which has def lowered sasukes likeability ratings for me. LOLLLL but honestly when i read naruto i dont dislike him at all i quite enjoy everything abt him but when i log into tumblr and see a post hoo mama 💢💢💢

also i similarly quite enjoy reading kusuo in the saipsi manga but the way people talk about him on here makes me roll my eyes so hard sometimes. i like to be a hater w my friend privately sometimes cuz its funny LOL but its whatever idrc about him anyway

13 (worst blorboification): oh my god i dont think i can answer this one because i literally dont think i know what blorboification specifically means. i vaguely get it but i dont think i can confidently say anything unless someone gives me a clear definition 😭😭 sorry

16 (you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)): MAKING SAIPSI ANGST I DONT GET ITTTTTTT WHY ARE YOU READING A GAG MANGA TO GET SAD AND DEPRESSED I DONT GET ITTTTTTTTT

girlboss karin SHES A FAILGIRL evil imayoshi HES LITERALLY JUST A GOOFY LITTLE GUY AND GAY taka settling down in a village (especially konoha??) WHY??????? THEYRE WANTED CRIMINALS AND NONE OF THEM EVEN ARE FROM KONOHA THE 2ND VILLAGE WITH THE MOST REASONS TO WANT THEM DEAD poor little meow meow hanamiya ARE WE READING THE SAME MANGA sakura karin shipping ITS UNINTERESTING AND ENTIRELY BASED ON SASUKE EVEN WHEN YOU KICK HIM OUT OF THE LOVE TRIANGLE stripper aus ON SOME LEVEL I GET WHY (THE PORN I GUESS) BUT IM ALWAYS BAFFLED THAT THEYRE EVERYWHERE im out of breath

[tojisun]

Not me running on liquid courage again. 💀🥂

I mean we all know canon toji is an asshole ❤️, but domestic?!?! It just makes you wanna bash a keyboard 😗 like how can you not! It's so fucking frustrating! He IS beautiful indeed its frustrating!

🥺🥺🤧 ahh this response! I know I said thank you already but like 🥺 thank you. I'm happy you found a healthy outlet. It takes a lot to acknowledge when you're not feeling well AND to doing something positive about it, so virtual hug 🤧 bring it in 🫂!

I wish school systems would actually give a fuck and do a better job preparing students for uni (dont we all). Everyone has a different situation but uni will always be there. I mean they want your money loans, right?? Take all the time you need while you're in uni. This is just my experience, but I feel like this is really only one time where you'll have a chance to work on your adult life before it becomes an expectation.

I just miss being a student for leeway at work. 0h and bc I like learning.

Omg I feel you on a personal level. Taking a 18 hour semester and a +50hr job for WHAT!!! In the end, I changed my major when I had 3 more classes until I graduated, so i graduated in 6 years 🙃.

Truly, please be kind to yourself. We only have 1 fucking day in the week to not think about work. I'm channeling my spirit energy to you. I wish you the best! Please take care and stay safe.

(Sorry for any typos)

omg hey!!! howre u!! sorry it took a while for me to respond ahdjwjs

no no bc that’s exactly me!! canon toji was so much of an asshole that i had a hard time writing him being soft and domestic and kind (ie: my first established fic was toji leaving the reader for mamaguro bc ik that man would choose her in any universe </33) but then i was like fuck canon. i want toji who’s in love w the reader; toji who cares for the reader; toji who’s moved on and healed from mamaguro and loving the reader for them and not as mamaguro’s replacement!!!! (most of my fics tend to follow this au)

i remember when i was drafting one of my first fluff fics (not headcanon or drabble), one of my besties told me, “ur projecting.” like maam, do u think i dont know 😭 but yea i wrote my soft toji whose scarred lips are gentle when they kiss the reader because toji is so pretty, we need him being happy with reader!!!!

thank u so much for the hug!! ive been having severe bad weeks and i needed this <3333 hugs you tight too 😚

and absolutely!! my school did ok in preparing us for post-secondary; college did amazing in helping me transition from high school setting and into post-secondary setting; but fuck. uni is a whole different level. can’t catch a break fr like AHHSHSHH

but yes thank u so much for the advice!!! i can absolutely see what u mean. like rn, even if i have work and back-to-back lectures, i still have the opportunities to ask for time-offs to prepare for my midterms and finals and papers which has helped me greatly! the life experience is helping me lots while giving me some form of coddling and ik this wouldnt really last into (greater) adulthood so that kinda sucks :((

and omg u switching majors is nerve-wracking but amazing at the same time!! ik sm of my friends who just suck up with their majors even if theyre fr struggling so im glad that u were able to pursue something more your style. im sorry it took long for u to grad though but still!!! im so happy for uu!!!

and i will be kind to myself, i promiseee!! ive been doing better these past few days and hoping to have more kind days moving forward!

thank you again for this kind mssge! ur words and kindness truly means a lot to me. take care darling, and have a happy and safe drinking 🥹🫶🏼

[1eos]

hi kendra! this might be super random so you can ignore but im curious about buying a vibratr and i have no experience with any.. maybe you have recommendations??? GSJSG sorry again if its uncomfortable or stupid to ask. barely have friends and they're weird when talking about sex and stuff. also i remembered you used to talk abt an hitachi wand so i was like hey maybe ill ask. hope you're doing well. take care <3 (also sorry if my english is bad)

oh don’t worry i don’t mind! in another life i am running a vibrator review blog. so the one thing i always recc is this giant hitachi wand from aliexpress. i wouldn’t recommend getting all your vibrators from there bc shipping takes forever and quality can be hit or miss but i got this myself and other ppl have bought it per my recommendation and they had good experiences too

HITACHI WAND LINK

so beyond that i am gonna be linking from amazon unfortunately. it sucks but a lot of independent companies have given up their sites to just host on amazon 😞and i’ve had bad experiences with adam&eve so i don’t shop there 😔😔😔and where i live local sex shops are overpriced and understocked so im sorry to be a cog in the wheel here. i at least choose delayed shipping!!! anyways some faves of varying styles that i think a beginner could enjoy. nothing too complicated or big

finger vibrator. a classic a classic

butterfly wearable thing. very fun.

this weird looking vibrator. had issues w the charging port but they seemed to be upgraded and otherwise it was v nice

babies first vibrating dildo. she runs on batteries but somehow was of better quality than some of the fancy ones ive bought

oh and this rabbit one......she was my best friend for many moons

and some general tips in my experience:

the thruster vibrators are overpriced and don’t feel like anything. don’t be seduced by their claims.

get a good toy cleaner esp for anything you’re gonna insert to avoid utis. i use the cake brand foam cleaner that you can get a some chain stores but you can shop around and see what you like

ummmmmmmmm label your cords LOL

oh and waterproof toys will always be more expensive but its worth to pay that extra $10-$20 bc you’re gonna get more longevity! and they tend to be built better a lot of my old battery operated toys would just break out the blue if they get ANY water near them

hope this helps!

[asbestieos]

we used to be friends, way before, and like, wow, youve gone so far, proud of you

🥹🥹🥹 oh my goodness!! anon if youre who i think you are (i am somewhat confident in my silly hunch), im so happy to know youre still out there even if we dont talk anymore!!! admittedly i have the most terrible memory ever so i barely remember much of our time together (i wish i remembered more!! but as is, i cant even remember the last time i showered lmfao) but since its been such a long time, i hope its ok if i give you a Riley Life Update of the past.. two, three years? <- it feels like it has been longer than that 😭😭

2020!! i graduated!! i enrolled in school! i girlslayed hard! however due to World Events, i cant go to school in person and am relegated to online classes in my room </3 unfortunately im also in the deepest depths of my genshin phase and ran both my own And denver’s acc. sometimes i paid for her acc’s battlepass too it was bad DBDKBFJ

2021! girlslaying starting to fail from burnout and severe depression from being shut in! i passed my first semester exams with flying colors! i failed all but one of my second semester exams. also come january im both afflicted with covid and experiencing a bad bed bug infestation. #girlsuffering. i dropped out in the summer ^_^ this is when the terrible moodswings hit (i thought they were moodswings but as it turns out, i was incredibly emotionally unstable!! more on this later)

2022!! last year oh my gosh! denver and jasper/moth and i started talking about moving in together, which requires me to have money of course. so aprilish i get a job! i work at starbucks! i girlslay REALLY hard. i also start playing ensemble stars (the beginning of my curse……..). come july i had a massive breakdown and almost broke up with denver and our mutual friend group 👍 it was Bad bad.. but things worked out? <- this experience has led me to believe im probably a bpd haver becos of how wildly unstable i am. fun! crasy asf!

moving plans fall through as summer goes by, im still employed at my job, still havent gotten my license yet but it is ok i will get it soon, and come 2023, moving plans are back on!! hopefully will be seen-through ny the time summer comes…

tldr i have bpd, i dropped out and got a job, im gay a shit over idol bot gacha game, and by summer, ill hopefully be moved in with denver!! yeha those are the important updates! for me at least. randys in college now btw!!! in her sophomore year!! shes incredible truly! she lives on campus so i usually only see her once a month or so but shes literally awesome ^_^

very long update post and i made it all about me 💔 theres history between us that ive unfortunately forgotten and im sad that ive forgotten (then again i could always read back, but every time ive tried, ive only cringed at myself like OOGH is that me?? sickening) but im really glad to have gotten this anon!! if youre not the person i think you are thats okay and also i am sorry i assumed UEGEJVFDJF i needed this i think to try and reflect back on. the crazy ass time my newrly three years of adult life has been.. im 21 in july!!! crazy as hell!

i also hope the formatting is ok, i try to break up big paragraphs w/o starting a brand new one for the sake of readability <:] i think i mightbe learned that from you? i dont remember though guwbddjjd.. but i think about you on the occasion as i do with everyone ive ever met ever and im glad to know youre still kicking it like i am.. life is rough a hell 💔

theres not enough words i can say that can make up for not remembering us too well and also for saying and doing hurtful things to you if theres one thing ive not forgotten, its that i was not a very nice person way back when. but i hope now youre in a better place and you have friends who love you just as much as i did and still do!!

i have to go to work but uuwheuehehhehehrhfht thank you for reaching out anon i hope this post was nice to read and feel free to live in my inbox for forever, even if you wanna stay anonymous forever i dont mind! if youre not the person i was thinking of, rest well with the joy that youve given me a moment to reflect on myself euwhhwrh but if you ARE the person i was thinking of. im sorry i hurt you. and thank you!! i love you!! im glad you were a part of my life. i hope your day is good and your tomorrow is better!! live in my inbox if it pleases you!!

EDIT: FROGOR TO SAY IM PROUD OF YOU TOO 👍

[leejenowrld]

oh i see!!! thats great advice actually bc when i ask most of my friends who r around the same age group as me, they typically tell me the same things so its great to hear from someone slightly older!!

maybe i just need to wait to mature completely before i date again 😵‍💫 i started dating guys abt the same age as u started dating ur bf, and its crazy & admirable to me how u guys navigated the ups and downs of growing up tgt, bc for me i definitely noticed that change (in terms of growing up) is also a huge factor that affects how my relationships turn out! or maybe its the difference in environment, i live in asia and i’m def not implying anything but having to take a whole lot of national exams this year has really taken a toll on my current relationship and i feel myself losing feelings everyday and honestly i don’t even know why 🥹

i feel horrible for my bf bc i lowk almost don’t want to be in a rs anymore w him as i don’t rly feel the attraction to him but i still care deeply abt him so i’m super lost atm esp since we agreed to wait until ive finished my exams to sort everything out! if u have any advice too that would be great but absolutely no pressure!!!!

and i also want to ask how u split time between ur interest in nct and ur relationship, bc i recently got back into the dreamies after a 2 year break to cope with the stress of my exams and ive realised its kinda hard for me to juggle fangirling and a rs at the same time esp since i keep up with jeno jaemin and jisung 🙂‍↕️

sorry for the rambling!!!!!! i js find that u give great advice 💘

thank you! i try to give good, meaningful advice lol. i might get honest here but don’t take anything to heart <3 i just wanna help as much as i can lol. and why do i feel so old omg 😭 damn how young are you? i hope you’re not a minor… i still feel like a teenager so like

and yeah i feel like relationships you defo need to compromise and mature. two very important, vital things. and yes <3 growing up, so many ups and downs but we managed to get past them!! and true but i feel like when your foundation is so strong then it becomes stronger than the change, i defo feel like me and my bf have been through so much together so we can handle so much.

and oh :( yeah that is a super sad situation. honestly idk what advice i could give cus i’ve never really been in that position before. me and my bf did break up once but we still loved each other, we only broke up cus i was going through so much and everything was so much but we got together again because we never stopped loving each other, if anything our love grew. so like if you’re even doubting that you have feelings for him then i’d say it isn’t a good sign, as you should be sure and confident on it, you know? i feel kinda bad for him ngl cus you said he’s sweet right? 😭 i forgot but yeah don’t break his heart 💔 just be honest and communicate and do whats best for you and him. falling out of love is hard but tbh as i said, always go with your heart! don’t force things as it will end up hurting the two of you more. but maybe you’re just stressed about exams and stuff so i’d wait until they finish then have a really good think about what you want to do and communicate well!!

also i’m ngl i don’t really get that 😭 i feel like i don’t need to split anything because my interest in nct doesn’t take up much at all? and if it comes down to anything, i will always prioritise and five more attention to my boyfriend over anything lol. like yeah, i love jeno, i’m a casual fan of them, but i’m definitely not as deep into them as i used to be. at the end of the day they’re idols, people i don’t know, i can’t trust them or act like i know them (eg proved by the whole taeil situation) so like yeah i don’t force myself to watch all the content and keep up with everything, that’s unnecessary and boring, i only watch and listen to what’s worth my time. i feel like stanning/being into a group defo isn’t a full time job and should only be treated like a hobby 😭 like idk you can fangirl but there can be limits and levels, like you have a life and education and your social life etc, your love for nct (imo) should just be something that’s more casual yk