#i really went to see them yesterday it was so surreal

[perilegs]

my sweet little baby man is no longer with us

[keerysfreckles]

decode — OP81 (au)

pairing: oscar piastri x fem!reader

summary: when two summer camp counselors fall in love in the span of two months

warnings: none! just a long one 😅 i got carried away oopsies, not proofread!!!

a/n: missing my summer camp hours 😞😞 this is how i cope

masterlist !

⋆ ˚ ｡ ⋆ ୨୧ ˚

y/n can't remember a summer when she wasn't at the summer camp in her home state. every summer since she was five years old, she was found at camp. when she was fourteen she signed up to be a junior counselor in training, then at sixteen became a counselor in training, and now at nineteen is an official camp counselor from one of the younger girl cabins.

y/n was ecstatic. she couldn't believe her eyes when she got the email that secured her summer job. except it wasn't going to feel like a job. she knew this wasn't going to feel like some chore like others would describe their job to be.

the whole bus ride up to the summer camp, y/n talked with her friends that went to camp with her in the previous years. her two closest friends were sat around her on the bus, sofia and nat. sofia met y/n during her second year of camp, and haven't stopped talking since. y/n and nat knew each other during camp during their last years as campers, but didn't start talking until their counselor in training years.

arriving at the camp felt so surreal for y/n. she was excited to see her second home, and her other friends that arrived yesterday by plane. she wondered if there were any unfamiliar faces this year, besides the new campers.

y/n, nat and sofia grabbed all their belongings and walked to their assigned cabins quickly. nat was going to be with the youngest of the girls, ages five and six. y/n was with the seven and eight year olds. sofia was on the other side of the girls' cabins, working with the twelve and thirteen year olds.

all of the counselors had "meetings" to attend before all the campers arrived tomorrow. no one really considered them as meetings however, knowing they were going to play ridiculous games in the large grassy field until sundown. the camp director thought it was a fun way to "get to know the other counselors".

as nat and sofia were getting a drink of water after a very intense game of dodgeball finished, a new counselor caught y/n's eye. there were three new counselors at camp, but this one was the only one that y/n really wanted to learn about. she looked at him from across the field. he seemed to be taller than her, with slightly pale skin and light brown hair.

"oh great, y/n's got another camp crush," nat appears by her, with sofia coming up on the other side.

"it's not a crush. i don't even know the guy!" y/n defends.

sofia and nat share a skeptical look, before sofia continues. "every year since you were seven you've found a guy to fawn over, and just because we're counselors now, we all know that's not stopping you."

nat chuckles at sofia's words, and y/n just rolls her eyes. she knew sofia was right, but she'd never admit that out loud.

after three more interesting games in the field, all of the counselors walked back up through the forest and towards the dining hall. there weren't any sort of seating arrangements, letting the counselors and other staff members sit wherever they'd like.

most of the counselors knew each other from being campers together, so they were all sat relatively close to one another.

luckily for y/n, the boy she was looking at earlier in the field was sat diagonally from her. she heard from sofia that she talked with him on the way back up from the field. he introduced himself to y/n and nat, and y/n instantly recognized his australian accent.

a handful of international counselors were found at camp every year, and y/n thought it always made it more interesting.

oscar, y/n, nat and sofia continued talking all throughout dinner. one of y/n's old friends from camp, lando, slid beside her halfway through dinner, and him and oscar got along pretty quickly.

at the end of the day, one of the many traditons at camp was for all the counselors to jump into the cold pool. don't ask y/n where this tradition exactly came from. she's been told so many times, yet she never remembers. however it came about, y/n was grateful. she's dreamt of doing this since she was a camper.

all of the counselors were lined up beside the pool, with the camp photographer, lauren, on the opposite side. the counselors were all still dressed, wearing their matching camp polos, and even kept their shoes on.

on the count of three they all jumped in, making the pool erupt in waves as twenty counselors splashed around. some got on each other's backs and were dunking one another, while other couldn't contain their laughter.

as y/n was wiping hair out of her eyes, oscar looked at her with a smirk adorning his lips.

she knew what he was about to do.

"no! oscar don't!" she tries to protest, but her laugh overpowers her words as oscar wraps his arms around the girl and pushes her under the water.

oscar watches y/n's smile widen once they're under water, and her hands are on his arms for a moment, only to push herself to the surface.

nat and sofia watched the interaction, as y/n now started splashing the aussie. "twenty bucks they're together by the end of the summer," nat wages.

"forty."

"thirty."

"thirty-five, final offer," sofia turns to nat.

"deal."

—

the morning the campers were arriving came quickly. so quickly y/n felt like she hasn't slept the night before. she was in the middle of making all the name tags for her campers bunk beds, so no one fights over who gets which one. she was cutting colored paper into simple flowers when sofia knocked on her cabin door.

"what's up sof?" y/n doesn't look up from her task.

"how'd you know it was me? it could've been nat," sofia sat on the twin bed, facing y/n.

"you walk heavy," y/n states, making sofia roll her eyes.

"whatever, unimportant," sofia quickly dismisses, "camp news is that a certain someone was talking about you after we jumped in the pool last night."

y/n groans, setting her paper and scissors down in her lap. "we've only been here twenty-four hours and there's already a rumor?"

"oh shush, you know you love it because lover boy was talking about you," sofia shoves y/n's leg playfully.

"first of all, don't call him lover boy. i only know his name. it's not like i'm deeply in love with him."

"you will be," sofia interrupts.

"second of all," y/n enunciates, "shouldn't you be getting ready for your campers to arrive?"

sofia laughs, "they're twleve year old, edgy, hormonal girls, they're not gonna want cute flowers and lady bugs saying who's sleeping where."

"you're no fun."

twenty-two minues pass and now all the counselors, the camp directior and co-director are all outside waiting for the buses to arrive. y/n was thrilled to meet her first set of campers.

the summer was broken up into three sessions, each session lasting two weeks. campers could choose to stay all three, but most only stayed for one.

y/n prayed her face wasn't flushed as she realized she was standing next to oscar. turns out, he was looking over campers the same age y/n was. the two made comfortable small talk until the buses finally pulled up into the dirt area.

once ever camper was off the bus and given their name tag, everyone made their way to the benches for announcements to start.

y/n's cabin was sat right in front of oscar's, with nat's right beside her. sofia's cabin was on the other handful of benches, considering they were the older campers.

announcements took an hour, as usual, and before everyone knew it, it was time for lunch.

the first lunch of the summer was always so special to y/n, even when she was a camper. this was when she met sofia, and years later she met nat in the mess hall as well.

lunch passed quickly, and y/n was back in her cabin, helping her campers fill out the forms to pick their camp schedules. she learned all of their names, and even learned about their favorite things. y/n's smile never left her face for the rest of the day.

—

three days into the first session and y/n was buzzing. she was in charge of the arts and crafts class campers could pick as one of their activites. she saw a few of her own campers in the morning, and surprisngly a few older boys during the afternoon.

she was in the middle of cleaning from the tye-dye the kids made today. she already hung up their shirts to dry, now she was cleaning off the tables where extra dye had gotten.

"do you need any help?" oscar stepped over the pile of rocks outside the arts and crafts shed, scaring y/n in the process.

"jesus osc, don't scare me like that," y/n laughs as her heartbeat comes back down.

oscar wasn't sure where the nickname came from, but he wanted it to stay.

"shouldn't you be watching over your swimming pool?" y/n asks, knowing oscar's sctivity this session was free swim. she didn't know what he was going to do the other two sessions, she meant to ask him later.

"nah, lando's got the last five minutes covered. all the campers got out anyway, complaining it was too cold." y/n knew lando from her last year as a camper. he was her first kiss, and call it cheesy but it was during the camp dance. neither of them speak ahout it to this day, and they planned to keep it that way.

oscar sat atop one of the cleaner parts of the table, chuckling as he notices y/n very colorful hands.

"why didn't you wear gloves?"

y/n shrugs, "gloves are too much of a hassle. plus after two showers i bet it'll come off."

"i could always dunk you in the pool again."

"no, no never again," y/n can't help but laugh.

y/n throws the dirty rags into a bucket, she makes a mental note to take it to the small camp laundromat later in the evening.

oscar hops down from the table, "do you want to walk with me to dinner?"

"you mean night time announcements?" y/n lets out a giggle at oscar's now pink cheeks.

"yeah uh– that's what i meant."

"how much were you really paying attention during the announcements really meant for the campers?"

"you know i could easily push you right now right?" oscar detours the conversation.

"oh i know you wouldn't."

oscar's about to reply, but y/n's name gets called by a few of her campers walking up beside the duo. she bids oscar goodbye, as she walks with the three younger campers.

dinner goes smoothly as it has been for the past couple of days. oscar smiles to himself when he realizes he's sat next to y/n tonight, with one of her best friends sat across from him.

the counselers were given a different table seating every day. the campers places stayed the same, and they were sat by others their ages. each table had twelve campers, with two counselers at the head and foot of the table.

the first fifteen minutes of every meal is silent, another camp tradition where no one truly knew where it came from. but after those fifteen minutes were up, the mess hall was buzzing yet again.

the campers were starting to take plates and dishes towards the side of the mess hall where the kitchen staff was. oscar stood up from his table, grabbed the extra dessert no one wanted and walked towards y/n.

she was talking with one of the girls at the table, while oscar silently placed the ice cream down. y/n looked to her right and smiled seeing who it was.

the interaction didn't go unnoticed by sofia or nat. sofia was walking back to her table when she saw oscar getting up, and she was quick to point it out to nat.

"you looked like you could use another dessert," oscar sat down on the empty bench besides y/n.

"well i'm sadly already full, but i'm sure maisie here wouldn't mind," y/n boops the blonde girl next to her on the nose before sliding the bowl towards her. "just don't tell the other campers," y/n whispers, earning a giggle from the camper.

"are you excited for the camp dance next week?" y/n asks oscar. each session had their own dance and carnival.

oscar nods, "oh definitely, but i'm more excited about the carnival."

"do you know who booth you guys are in charge of?"

"no clue, but probably something easy since i'm dealing with seven year olds," oscar laughs.

the two continue talking for a moment, until the camp director instructs for all the campers and counselors go to the main building for a movie night.

—

y/n couldn't believe her own eyes. she was watching kids leaving with their parents, while others got on buses to go back home. she was sad when she had to say goodbye to her campers that morning. nat gave her a hug, but it was still hard for her.

nevertheless, she was just as excited to meet the new campers arriving next week. during the counselor's week off, they get a different trip in between each session. the first was a trip to a waterpark near the camp, and everyone was buzzing when they got out of the camp vans.

the day was filled with most counselors riding the water slides, while other tanned or gossiped. there was thirty minutes left of their day pass, y/n and oscar planned on going into the lazy river before they had to go back to the camp.

over the past two weeks the pair has gotten extremely close. they hung out whenever they could. they'd sit by each other at any given moment. a few of the older campers noticed the chemistry that was starting to build between the two.

y/n's right hand and oscar's left one kept grazing while in the lazy river. neither of them were going to do anything about that.

"you've been quiet today," oscar speaks up, looking over to the girl.

"just grateful," her response was simple, but oscar knew how she felt. it was hard for him to say goodbye to his campers earlier in the week, but just like the girl, he was excited about the new campers coming this sunday.

after a few moments of silence, y/n starts to laugh.

"oh god, i broke her," oscar jokes.

y/n keeps laughing, "no, no. i just can't believe you knew practically every move to the line dances from the camp dance."

oscar's face slightly flushed, "you're just jealous of my dancing skills."

"sure osc, that's what it is."

—

exactly two weeks later and the second session camp carnival was in full swing. it was always held on the tennis courts, and each cabin was in charge of a booth. some were definitely better than others, consider five year olds had little to no patience.

at the start of the carnival y/n and her whole cabin were sat around the face painting table, fast forward an hour and a half, now y/n was sat alone, watching all the festivies around her.

"you know you can enjoy the carnival too right?" oscar comes out of nowhere, making y/n jump slightly.

"can you stop scaring me like that?" she laughs, and scoots her chair over so he can sit in the empty one.

he hands her the cotton candy from his other hand, receiving a thank you from y/n.

"but really, why are you here by yourself when you should be out there," he pauses to point to all the campers and a few counselors dancing to an ariana grande song.

"what if someone wants their face painted and no one's here to help?" y/n picks at the light pink cotton candy.

"you and i both know every camper who wanted their face painted came here right away."

"yeah okay," y/n agrees, "but not everyone's gotten their face painted."

"who hasn't? there's maybe three campers without something on their cheek."

"you," y/n smirks. she hands her cotton candy to oscar before grabbing the tray of face paints.

oscar groans, "is this payback for dunking you in the pool?"

"yes, that's exactly it," she giggles.

oscar watched as y/n stood from her chair. she was contemplating what to do, but eventually ordered oscar to close his eyes. 'screw it' y/n internally spoke, as she dabbed the non-toxic red face paint onto her lips with a clean brush. she set down the mirror, happy with the amount and bent down to kiss oscar's cheek.

it took him by surprise, and he could feel his cheeks redden at the feeling of her fingers on his chin and lips on his cheek.

y/n begins wiping her mouth, ridding the left over red paint. oscar smiles, "well now it's only fair i give you something in return."

y/n shakes her head, still having a smile adorning her features, "i'm the one working the face paint table, not you osc."

oscar's about to argue, but lando, nat and sofia all come running to the table as the campers are starting to leave the tennis courts.

"hey are you guys–"

lando cuts nat off with a chuckle, "nice face paint osc." that earns him a punch in the arm by sofia.

nat rolls her eyes before continuing, "you two ready for the counselor campout tonight?"

y/n's been talking about the campout since the start of summer, to anybody that'll listen.

the group of five went their seperate ways towards their cabins to pack a small bag for the night, and made sure to say goodnight to their campers, before a counselor in training came in the cabin for the night.

the counselors split up between two pick up trucks, with people riding inside and in the back. y/n and oscar's legs kept hitting each others after almost every bump, not that either of them minded.

the girls slept in one tent while the boys slept in the other. camp rules that both groups hated. it was starting to get dark when they arrived, so the boys started cooking pre-made hamburgers on a makeshift little grill over the fire, while the girls set up the tents.

during dinner everyone split up into their own groups. oscar, y/n, lando, nat and sofia put their chairs close to each other as they enjoyed the warmth of the fire and the sound of the crickets around them.

"is that a new hoodie y/n?" nat asks, curiosity filling her voice.

sofia joins in, "yeah, i don't think i've seen that."

y/n involuntarily blushes, "it's oscar's. he's letting me borrow it cause i got cold."

lando gives oscar a small high five while nat and sofia share a look. a look that the two have been sharing at least once a day.

—

four days later and y/n is upset once again. the second session campers are filtering out of the camp, and it feels five times worst than the first time y/n dealt with it. oscar walks up to the sad girl and places his hand lightly on her back.

"will pancakes and a hug cheer you up?" he smiles while handing her a plate with three pancakes covered in syrup.

y/n laughs and turns to face oscar, "both would definitely cheer me up."

y/n wraps her arms around the boy, and her body is flooded with warmth at the contact. she rests her head against his shoulder, her nose brushing ever so slightly against his neck. goosebumps rise on oscar's arms.

oscar leads the pair over to an empty bench so y/n can enjoy her pancakes to get her mind off the campers leaving.

"jeez osc, did you put enough syrup on these?" she laughs.

oscar throws his hands up in defence, "i didn't know how much you like."

a moment of silence passes between the duo, before y/n breaks it.

"are you gonna want your hoodie back? because it's extremly comfortable and it might make it's way into my suitcase by the end of the summer."

oscar smiles, "keep it. maybe it'll give me a reason to visit you after summer."

y/n reciprocates a smile, but a sad feeling makes it's way through her body again. she doesn't know what her and oscar are going to do after summer. neither of them have brought it up. the thought of having to leave oscar and never see him again terrified the girl.

—

the camp was well into session three, and y/n was more than excited for today. it was her twentieth birthday, the session three camp dance was tonight, and it was her favorite theme every summer.

y/n was helping her campers get ready, thanking herself for getting ready beforehand. she thought they all looked adorable in their different 70s inspired outfits. they ranged from bell bottom leggings, flashy colorful skirts, and fringed vests.

y/n and her cabin was walking towards the tennis courts, as well as the other cabins. just as they turned the corner, oscar was standing off to the side of the gate. y/n saw, and smiled as he beckoned her over.

she told her campers to go with nat's cabin, before running towards oscar, being careful not to fall in her chunky platform boots.

oscar takes in her appearance with a smile on his face. from her white platform boots, to her pink colorful dress with the flared longsleeves, and finishing with her white headband.

"you look adorable," he spoke, his words coming out faster than his brain could think.

y/n couldn't help but blush, "thank you osc. you don't look too bad yourself."

now y/n looks over oscar's outfit. she giggles as it's such a similar outfit to what pierce brosnan wore on the cover of the mamma mia poster. fitting perfectly to tonight's 70s disco theme.

"did you find my birthday present for you?"

y/n nods, remembering the small wrapped box placed at the bottom step of her cabin.

"i haven't opened it yet, just like the card said."

"good, and don't forget to meet me back here after all your campers are asleep yeah?"

y/n nods again, "what could you be planning piastri?"

oscar shrugs playfully, "guess you'll have to wait and see."

before the australian leaves, he kisses y/n's forehead. it happened so quickly y/n could barely comprehend it before he was already gone.

after almost two hours of dancing, picking at snacks and talking, y/n was finally feeling her feet starting to hurt. maybe the platform boots were a bit much, but she still thought they were adorable. she groaned as she sat down for the first time that night.

"hey, you alright?"

she picks up her head, seeing oscar standing in front of her with two cups of water. he hands one to her before sitting in the empty chair beside her.

"i don't think my feet have ever hurt this badly before," she laughs while unzipping her boots. she could care less about how dirty the ground was right now, she needed her feet to breathe.

"so glad i didn't wear the platform boots i packed," oscar joked, and his smile grew once y/n started laughing. he never got tired of hearing her laugh.

"have you had a good birthday so far?"

y/n lets out a content sigh while leaning her head on oscar's shoulder. "i have osc, it's been really fun. and i can't wait to see what you have planned for later."

—

just as oscar instructed on his birthday note to y/n that was attached to her birthday present, she's currently waiting in the tennis courts. her counselor in training was looking after her cabin, but all y/n could think about is what on earth oscar could be planning.

her fingers fidget with the blue bow on top of the box, and she's thankful she changed out of her boots and into her converse. she threw on oscar's hoodie she still hasn't given back, because it always gets chillier at night.

her thoughts were interrupted however, when the lights to the tennis court turned off. all she heard around her was whispered voices and shuffling feet.

"guys?" she laughs, more than confused on what they could be doing.

the lights suddenly turn back on, and y/n can't help but laugh at the four in front of her.

"happy birthday y/n!" her friends yell.

sofia's holding a small pile of presents, one from each of them (minus oscar's gift in her hand).

nat and lando are busy holding up a small banner, wishing y/n a happy birthday.

finally oscar was holding a pink box, which y/n could only guess was a birthday cake.

"guys!" y/n gushes, her heart feeling extra full at the moment.

everyone sets down whatever was in their hands to hug the birthday girl. oscar's hug was a bit longer than the others, and y/n definitely noticed.

"you guys didn't have to do anything for my birthday. it being on the day of my favorite camp activity was plenty."

nat shushes her, "nope, we all agreed we were doing something for your birthday as soon as the session started."

lando pipes up besides nat with a green and black wrapped gift in his hands, "enough with the sappy shit, open my gift first y/n."

y/n sits down before opening the gifts. nat and sofia sit to her left, while lando stands in front and oscar stands behind her to her right.

she opened everyone's gift, thanking each of them afterwards, and finally got to oscar's gift. the one she's been waiting for all day. she tears the blue ribbon off and takes the lid off.

however, y/n's confused once she sees two plane tickets. one to new york from maine, and one back to maine from new york.

"osc what is this?"

oscar squats down and holds himself up by placing his hand on y/n's thigh.

his voice was soft as he explained, "my mom helped me with this one. i called her before this session started, and i got her to buy the tickets for me. she was able to get then shipped before your birthday. so now you can come out to new york for two weeks with me."

y/n keeps looking at the plane tickets in her hands. her eyes were filling with tears while oscar spoke. no one's ever done anything like this before.

lando, nat and sofia left quietly, giving the pair a minute alone.

"love?" oscar lets the nickname slip before he has time to catch himself.

"no one's ever done something like this for me before," y/n's quiet, not wanting her voice to give out.

"hey," oscar wipes a tear that was falling on her cheek, "you deserve this. we get to spend two great weeks together, and you'll even get to see my cool apartment."

y/n laughs at his attempt to cheer her up, and is glad it's working.

y/n pulls oscar into one of the tightest hugs imaginable. he stumbles slightly, but holds onto the girl just as tight.

"thank you osc," she whispers into his neck, before placing a light kiss to the exposed skin.

y/n starts pulling away from the hug, but oscar just holds onto her tighter. he silently moves his left hand to cup her jaw, with his thumb catching another loose tear.

from outside of the tennis court, the eavesdropping trio all gasp as the two finally kiss. after weeks of endless flirting and longing glaces, they're finally kissing.

y/n holds onto oscar even tighter now. partially for stability, and partially to make sure he's really there. that this was really happening.

the two barely pull apart, their lips only having centimeters between them.

just as the two go to kiss again, sofia pops out from the darkness and into the light of the tennis court. "six feet of space!"

nat's quick to cover her mouth after she mentions leaving room for god, and nat and lando are quick to apologize, letting oscar and y/n be alone again.

—

"there you are!"

oscar's pulled from his thoughts as y/n makes her way over towards him.

he's sat on the bench outside the unoccupied cabin near the volleyball court. he went there a lot this summer, always giving him the space to think.

"i've been looking everywhere for you," y/n smiles while sitting beside him.

oscar can't help but smile when she does. he's told her a thousand times how contagious her smile is.

"are you excited?"

y/n didn't need oscar to elaborate, she knew exactly what he meant. today was the last day of summer camp. all of the campers left yesterday, and today was the day y/n and oscar were flying to new york together.

"i don't even think excited is in the ballpark to describe how i'm feeling," y/n laughs, leaning into oscar.

after a moment of silence, y/n's curiosity gets the best of her. "osc?" he hums in response, "what are we?"

oscar smiles to himself, "well i was hoping i'd get to call you my girlfriend."

y/n's smile grows immensely. "only if i get to call you my boyfriend," she giggles.

oscar kisses her softly on the lips, before interlocking his fingers with hers.

"oh!" y/n pipes up, "yesterday one of my girls made us matching bracelets."

y/n takes two bracelets out of her (oscar's) hoodie pocket. they were both pink, with different shades of pink beads threaded through the string. one said "O ♡ (your initial)" and vice verse with the other bracelet. oscar chuckles as he takes the one starting with his own initial.

"i love it," he looks down at it once more, "i'm never taking this off by the way."

before y/n reciprocate, the camp director comes around, telling them this is their last call to leave the camp and say goodbye to who ever you need to.

nat and sofia both left by bus earlier in the day, leaving oscar to deal with an unhappy y/n for an hour until he gave her another one of his hoodies.

"are you ready to go?" y/n stands while holding her hands out.

oscar gladly takes her hands in his, "yep. just one more kiss in the place where i fell in love with you."

[katsutora]

— HOMESICK

ft. isagi yoichi ; itoshi rin ; nagi seishiro ; bachira meguru ; chigiri hyōma ; itoshi sae

summary: them picking you up after a trip

note: i’d like to be everyone’s weekly teeth rotting fluff provider but then i remembered i dont have it in me to serve content every week LMFAO i lack prompts besties

⚘ ISAGI YOICHI

ㅤㅤhas a relatively normal reaction as he sees you approaching him, but is actually trying his best not to freak out. he smiles at you softly as if he didn’t almost explode from all the excitement. once you’re in the car, he doesn’t let go of your hand the entire trip home. can’t stop staring at you too (a huge simp, good for you) because it’s been a while since he last saw you in person and it’s still kind of surreal to him. hmm, what was that? hands on the wheels, eyes on the road? yoichi, seriously, pay attention oh my god. you better promise you’ve tried everything and that this really is the last resort. “kaiser is in the middle of the street.” oh? oh. oh shit. “i'll run him over.” i mean... you gotta do what you gotta do to snap him out of it, right? (no)

⚘ ITOSHI RIN

ㅤㅤhe’s definitely in a sour mood. seething. most likely scared every single person who passed by him. the fact that he’s rapidly gaining fame doesn’t help at all (prayer circle for that one poor kid who only wanted to ask him for his autograph). he’s leaning against the wall, looking super annoyed. the root of the problem? not the fact that he has to be there of course, more like why the hell haven't you arrived at the gate yet (calm down rin it’s only been like ten minutes lmao). misses you as hell but won’t tell? that rhymes. immediately wraps you in his coat as an excuse to hug you tightly. “t’s not that cold, rin.” refuses to let you go. he’s clinging onto you for dear life as if he’s finally found you after a lifetime. “i know. just a little longer.” his grip only tightens when he notices people looking at you two. gee, they’re just trying to get to the exit gate, stop blocking it smh.

⚘ NAGI SEISHIRO

ㅤㅤit’s almost comical how he suddenly turned into a lighthouse as soon as he spotted you. people are putting on their sunglasses indoors, someone help. mandatory bear hug (but there’s a 50% chance that you’ll both fall to the ground because he can be clumsy like that). “that was so cringe.” “you love it, though.” “i love you.” ugh sappy. if somehow you survived that acrobatic act, he’ll bend his 190cm ass after putting you down so you can kiss the top of his head! if you don’t, well, he's not gonna stand up any time soon because it’s “comfy” and definitely not because getting up is a hassle. gets super chatty all the way home. “did you know shidou decked rin again today?” “barou planted his face on the ground yesterday, king who?” “i told choki to watch the food in the oven btw.” says it in the most casual manner; you can’t tell if he’s joking or not. “mhm. wait WHAT?”

⚘ BACHIRA MEGURU

ㅤㅤa pinball. will not hesitate to break through a crowd, bumping into everyone and everything. should be classified as a hazard to society. no jk. but he did almost tackle a kid when he was running towards you. has his arms wide open and ready to tackle you too embrace you. “you’re back! welcome home!” “i’m home!” “welcome home!” “i’m home!” don’t you have anything else to say besides that lmfao (it really went on for a solid five minutes). falls asleep on your lap in the car since he already spent all his energy on that whole “embodying a golden retriever” thing back there. looks so peaceful and angelic like that. also sleep-talks. “y’re hmm”. you didn’t expect him to remain this quiet but it’s the best nap he’s had in a while so uhh “karaoke night?” karaoke night he said. good luck to your poor neighbors tonight.

⚘ CHIGIRI HYŌMA

ㅤㅤladies and gentlemen, him. a runway model. is he picking someone up or is he going somewhere? with looks like that, no one will ever know. forget the elegant saunter; the moment he saw you, he full on sprinted. the type that brings you flowers and your favorite snacks. seems like someone who knows what he’s doing right? but when you pat his head in response to his warm welcome, he short-circuited because you just stole his line. “i’ve missed you.” immediately softens and melts in your embrace. you think it’s all calm and that until his sister arrives out of nowhere, calling out both of your names and the next thing you know, she’s taking pictures of you as if this is your graduation day. “lookie over here, you two!” you’ve never seen someone speedrunning five stages of grief in record time.

⚘ ITOSHI SAE

ㅤㅤmans turning the airport into a red carpet premiere smh; cameras flashing everywhere, people eager to ask him questions, etc. he’s learning that looking down on his phone isn’t a good enough disguise, and that his bored face isn’t scary enough to fend off his fans. oh finally, he thought as he spotted you amidst the crowd. “over here, sae!” “oh my, it’s itoshi sae!” but he has his gaze fixated on you and only you. don’t worry, of course he’ll notice if you grow uncomfortable with all the attention and will immediately wrap his arm around your figure. !! breaking news: itoshi sae quits the world of football and is now becoming a personal bodyguard. navigates through the crowd while mumbling “fall under my spell.” boy what they’re not shidou (narrator: they did, in fact, fell under his spell). “give me your number!” uhh? “move in with me!” wow it’s not your sae, huh? it’s everyone’s sae.

© 2022 katsutora ; do not repost and/or translate and/or claim my works

[swiftsdelucaa]

What about a Carina DeLuca x female!reader where they get married? Maybe Y/n could be a trauma/general surgeon and you can add a flashback when they meet at work and operate on someone and their eyes meet during the surgery and they're both instantly attracted to each other. Then fast forward to the day before the wedding and the same situation, they're operating and also talk about their wedding.

The wedding happens and they celebrate the night in their hotel room

❛ 𝑭𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑨𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 ❜

𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: Carina DeLuca x f!reader ♡

𝘼/𝙣: Heyy hope you like! Kinda happy I posted this not after so long ahah

It was all in 24 hours and you could already feel all your body shake in happiness and excitement. If you think that tomorrow you would have got married it still felt so surreal. And with an amazing woman, Carina DeLuca.

Right now you were still at the hospital, a trauma had just arrived, so you had put all your feelings aside and do what you could do best, saving lives. The paramedics had already come in starting to list the case, you helped them to take the patient in a room. It had been a serious car accident and the woman was also pregnant, so you called OB/GYN. When you pronounced that phrase and saw Carina walking in, it all instantly seemed so familiar, like the first day you've met each other.

You still remember it like it was yesterday, a woman had been run over, and was halfway through her pregnancy. The way she behaved with patients immediately struck you, she was so sweet that she managed to reassure you too. At that time she was new at the hospital, and you felt the need to get to know her right away, that smile and those eyes on you the first time she saw you got inside you completely. And during the surgery, step after step, your gazes couldn't help but meet everytime. You didn't believe in this kind of things, like love at first sight, but with her it's been different because you had immediately felt something building inside you, the same was for her.

And here you are today, again in the same situation, your hands and bodies concentrated on the surgery, but your minds and hearts were already thinking about tomorrow.

"I wonder how you can stay so focused, I mean, I really admire you for this" Carina said giggling softly.

"Focused? Oh God I feel like I'm going to explode every minute, I'm too excited" you said smiling under the mask.

"I know right, I just can't wait to be your wife" you could hear the joy in her voice.

"Me too darling" you said. "You know what, I also can't stop thinking if everything is ready, I just want it all to be perfect" you sighed.

"I get that, it's something that never stops to pressure you, the anxiety and all that stress damn" she laughed softly. "But Andrea and all my frieds helped me a lot, he made me sure that all was perfect and I hope so"

"Yeah, Meredith, Amelia, Jo, Arizona and Alex helped me a lot too, I think without them I wouldn't made it" you said as you continued the procedure carefully. "Why is marrying someone you love so stressful?" You asked chuckling.

"Well, it must be the best day of our lives, I think it's normal some stress. And it'll be worth of it, bambina" she looked at you, even she was wearing the mask you could see her smile.

"Yes, you're right" you reciprocated the look.

After she completed the cesarean section, you still had a lot to do, Carina moved the baby where the nurses placed her in an incubator, ready to take her to peds.

"So, see you tomorrow" you said before she could leave.

"See you tomorrow and good luck with the surgery" she smiled at you before leaving with the nurses.

The surgery luckily went well, the woman was stable, the same for the baby. Your shift was over, so you went home to celebrate the night before tomorrow with your friends, which had taken pretty long, but it didn't matter since you couldn't sleep. Your mind was too awake.

The day after you woke up early and had a shower, before waking up the girls who stayed with you all the night. Meredith and Amelia prepared the dress for you, after you came out of the bathroom they helped you to put it on. The sight of yourself in that wedding dress have already had a big effect on you that facing this whole wonderful day was even too much.

"You're so beautiful" they said to you. "Hey, this is not a dream" Meredith added. You laughed softly.

"Yeah I'm just trying to realize everything"

"Damn, I'm already going to cry" Arizona said, looking at you.

"Oh, do not please, or I will too" you chuckled. When everything was ready, they helped you to get in the car.

The wedding wouldn't be in Seattle, but in a location not far away. You and Carina didn't want something very big, something intimate and simple was enough. It would have been an outdoor ceremony with all your loved ones. The journey seemed endless, but finally the car stopped at the destination. Your bridesmaids preceded you, then your moment arrived. You could feel everyone's eyes on you when you were walking, but your eyes were only focused on your future wife, right in front of you. She was sobeautiful, as always, at the sight of you her eyes were literally shining.

When the priest started the ceremony, you and Carina were just standing in front of each other, holding your hands and can't helping but smiling to each other. Your heartbeat increased every second, every single word about your story made you both almost cry in happiness and gratitude. During the exchange of the wedding rings it was a miracle that you didn't drop it. And then, it was that moment, that question finally arrived.

“Y/n L/n, do you take Carina DeLuca as your wife? Do you promise to love and cherish her, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, for as long as both of you shall live?” you grinned at her.

"Yes, I do!" holding the tears was now more difficult.

"Carina DeLuca, do you take Y/n L/n as your wife? Do you promise to love and cherish him, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better and for worse, for so long as you both shall live?” she gave you the same grin.

"God, yes, I do!" She exclaimed.

"I officially declare you wife and wife, you may now kiss" you both didn't wait one more second to approach and giving you the first kiss as a married couple. As you kissed, everyone started clapping.

The party and celebrations could begin, even if you and her could only think about your life together and what it would be like with each other every day of your lives. Everything was amazing, also all your favorite people made this day very special, but for you and Carina felt like in a romance novel every second of it.

After the night has come and all the guests congratulated one last time before leaving, you and your wife reached your hotel room, that had been prepared. You sat on the soft bed looking around.

"I still can't realize this" you sighed, still thinking about this wonderful day.

"And maybe I can, because my awesome wife is right in front of my eyes" she smiled leaning in to kiss you. You placed your hands on her cheeks, deepening the kiss.

"What a honour to be married to such a beautiful italian woman like you" you whispered in the kiss.

"And what a honour to have you all for me this night and all the nights that still have to come" she whispered, with a hand moving a lock of your hair and the other one played teasingly with the sleeve of your dress.

She made you lay down on the bed positioning herself on top of you.

"Ti amo, bambina" (I love you, bambina) she said pressing a soft kiss on your neck and then looking at you.

"Ti amo anch'io" (I love you too) you replied smiling, that was all the italian you learnt since you told her so many times. Her lips returned focusing on your neck, tasting your soft skin, you rested your head back against the pillow as your hands explored her body. Now it was just the two of you, forever and always.

[nobrashfestivity]

I always appreciate the space you give to marginalised artists on your blog, in particular marking certain dates like yesterday's World AIDS Day with select individuals. It's a small thing, but it means very much.

That's a very kind thing to say, thank you.

There's really so much great art in the world, from everywhere, I wish i had more time to delve into and understand it.

Personal story:

When I was young teenager, I used to hang around a lot of artists and teachers. When you're a certain age, just being around people who live their life in a particular way is fascinating. These people did acting and sculpture and dance and they put on plays and painted murals and, most importantly, welcomed anyone who was interested to learn or participate in their whole world. These are people who would play you Miles Davis, introduce you to their favorite southern Indian restaurant, or take you to a Fellini movie. I almost could not conceive of the freedom these people displayed. The joyfulness of making art seemed like a whole world that had been hidden from the more mainstream part of society I grew up in.

Because I wanted to be an artist, I got so much encouragement from a whole community of older artists. It would be hard to calculate how important that was to someone trying to figure out if they could do these things as an adult. One teacher of mine at school was a mentor and a friend who gave me a book by Heidegger when I was 15. It was a small personal gesture of confidence that I could get something out of it. And that confidence made me feel responsibility, I think. Like, if someone you admire thinks you can do something maybe you should investigate it.

Another friend lent me her apt when she was travelling for 6 months. I was 16 and I never had my own place. This was a lively part of the city, you could look out your window all night and see the goings on, yelling, laughing, music, conversations. If you were bold you could by weed on the street but half the time it was oregano. One night I saw a cop car on fire sitting in the middle of the street. It remains maybe the most surreal image of my life.

A few years later, I watched many of these people waste away from AIDS. No medical person knew what to do. The government ignored it. Everyone joked about it. When you went to funerals, the parents of same sex couples often would deny the existence of these partners and shut them completely out of the grieving process. The stigma was so bad and society was so fearful. You would ask about someone you had no seen in a while and it would turn out they were gone. People were decimated and no one would even hug them when they were dying.

We lost a whole generation of artists. And the fear and hatred of anyone who was different continues now, just in different clothing. So, I never forget about AIDS because there are so many people I wish I could go visit now and talk to about life or art, but they have been erased along with many of their friends.

I know social causes can be annoying. Celebrities take them up and there's always some crisis jarring you to take action. But i think it's good to remember those people you loved long ago. It keeps them from becoming ghosts.

[hunieday]

Yuki - Daily Life Rabbit chat part 1 - Momo? or Yuki?

PART 1 - PART 2 - PART 3 - PART 4 - PART 5

Please note that I am not a professional translator and I'm only doing this to share the side materials to those who cannot access them, if you notice any mistakes please let me know nicely. Enjoy!

Yuki: Maneko-chan, thanks for your hard work.

Yuki: Are you still in the dressing room?

Takanashi Tsumugi: Thank you for your hard work! Thank you for inviting us as guests for “NEXT Re:vale” today! 

Takanashi Tsumugi: I had another meeting a while ago so I had to move.

Takanashi Tsumugi: Is there something I can help you with?

Yuki: I found a rabbit-patterned pen case in the studio.

Yuki: Isn't it yours Maneko-chan?

Takanashi Tsumugi: I'm sorry! It is mine!!

Takanashi Tsumugi: I took it out of my bag and forgot to pack it...

Yuki: I knew it. I remembered seeing it during the meeting.

Yuki: I think the image of a rabbit doing muscle training is quite surreal.

Takanashi Tsumugi: You don’t see that often do you! I like the combination of cute and buff, so I’ve been using it lately 

Yuki: I heard that real rabbits are quite macho and buff too.

Yuki: Kinda like Maneko-chan.

Takanashi Tsumugi: Huuh!?

Takanashi Tsumugi: I do work out, but I haven’t reached that level of macho yet…!

Yuki: So macho is considered a high level to you.

Takanashi Tsumugi: Yes. I think I've gained some muscles compared to how I used to, but not visibly so…

Takanashi Tsumugi: I apologize for not reaching that level even though you said it looked like me…

Yuki: What I was saying is, it looks cute and muscular just like you

Yuki: But a buff maneko-chan would be interesting as well 

Takanashi Tsumugi: Ahhhhhhhh

Takanashi Tsumugi: So that’s what you meant…! I apologize for completely misunderstanding you…!

Yuki: ^^

Yuki: You’re serious even when it comes to machoism, you really are strong and cute

Takanashi Tsumugi: Uu... ><

Takanashi Tsumugi: I'll come pick up the pen case later!

Yuki: If it's not urgent, I'll bring it next week.

Yuki: You’ll be there on the first day of the drama shoot with Yamato-kun, won’t you

Takanashi Tsumugi: Oh no…! I don't want to trouble you like that…!

Yuki: Don't worry about it. I'll leave it with Okarin to make sure I don't forget.

Takanashi Tsumugi: I’m sorry for the hassle. I'll send a Rabbichat to Okazaki-san later as well.

Takanashi Tsumugi:

Yuki: By the way, I'll give you a sample of our sunscreen that day as well.

Takanashi Tsumugi: Could it possibly be that collaboration product with Re:vale that went on sale yesterday…?!

Yuki: As expected of you, maneko-chan. You keep track of everything

Takanashi Tsumugi: Of course! Even before the product was released, the catchphrase "Re:vale protects everyone's skin from UV rays" was trending online and many people wanted to be protected by you two! 

Takanashi Tsumugi: Male influencers say that Yuki-san's product is gentle on the skin and is recommended for daily use and driving, while Momo-san's product has a higher SPF and is recommended for long outdoor activities. Those videos went viral!

Yuki: Huh, happy to hear that.

Yuki: The target audience was mostly female originally, but they wanted to expand their range to male consumers, so they reached out to us for collaboration.

Takanashi Tsumugi: So that’s how it is...! I saw them on release day and bought both of them.

Yuki: Thank you

Yuki: Which one do you prefer, maneko-chan? Me or Momo?

Takanashi Tsumugi: I usually use Yuki-san’s, but when I have to go out I use Momo-san’s!

Yuki: Maneko-chan, aren’t you quite the big deal for switching between both Re:vale members

Takanashi Tsumugi: 

Takanashi Tsumugi: I-I-I'm sorry! I was so surprised that I accidentally sent a strange sticker!

I didn't mean to imply that I switch between you two...!

Yuki: Just kidding ^^

Yuki: Sorry for teasing you.

Takanashi Tsumugi: I almost dropped my phone...

Yuki: Everyone always has interesting reactions when I ask this

Yuki: Let’s ask Yamato-kun next time during the shoot

[spinnenpfote6]

OMGGG Guuuys I had a great birthday yesterday!

I went to MagicCon with my 2 besties❤ & I'm SO happy to have gotten that nice photo with Elijah Wood! I actually got an autograph ticket last minute because I thought "Huh, why not? I have the money!" (which was good because the photo session was VERY quick).

We were in this huge room which almost looked like one for an orchestra and Elijah's place was down the stairs in the corner lol. When we arrived the employees told us that he's having a break rn and will be back in 5 minutes. Oddly enough there were only about 3 or 4 other people so it was pretty empty at his table. Then I heard voices, turned around and there was Elijah sauntering down the line of chairs behind us, chatting with Dominic Monaghan. I was like "Oh, there he is!" and it was so surreal! Also felt hilarious because I was BOTH "Wow, he's actually just a guy!" AND super star-struck.

And guys I can tell you that: I'm still SO mad at myself that talking to Wood made my stupid lizard brain flush my english-speaking-skills down the drain (the Terrible Terror from HTTYD comes to mind, staring into the void while licking its own eyeballs). Safe to say I was giggling the whole time and just started with something along the lines of "WOAH Holy shit, hi Elijah! Haha! Here!", handed him my drawing and told him that it's actually my birthday. He of course wished me a happy birthday, looked at my drawing for a while and went "Wow, that is SO pretty! Very pretty!" while signing it. As I was about to walk away I sent him into a laughing fit because I stared at him like a maniac saying "YOUR EYES ARE SO PRETTY!". So yeah. I REALLY hope to meet him on another convention to tell him why I love Frodo so much and maybe get a hug without my brain shutting off.

After that I did see him again at the photosessions (which had a long line this time but I didn't mind because I was chatting with my friends). I literally arrived jumping towards him, responding to his happy "Hi!" with a "Hi, it's me again!" lol. I wanted to put my arm around him but seeing the like 3(!) fat signs they put up informing us of the rules - consisting of "Please don't touch the actors" and "Don't do poses" (???) - made me re-think it because I'm a scaredy cat (despite living in Germany - the land of strict unnecessary rules) so I decided to hold my One Ring up. Obviously nobody cared about the no-touching-policy (when I left Elijah was just jumping onto someone's back lol) and if you look closely you can see that I actually DID put my arm around him but not as much as I would've liked haha.

Originally I wanted him to sign one of the photos of one of my favorite LOTR scenes (Frodo falling down in slow-mo at the "Prancing Pony" Inn, trying to catch the ring) but I failed to realize that you had to get the autograph photos at the entrance and having him sign my drawing turned out to feel much more sweet and personal - and I got a Happy Birthday from him anyway! And Frodo himself SAW and APPROVED of my first Frodo drawing!! (I kinda hope that it helped me to stay in his memory for a while - that or the fact that I was dressed entirely in bright red and probably looked like a walking strawberry to everyone.)

Fun Fact: I'm actually a bit taller than Elijah but because of my pose & his thick shoes we appear to be the same height. He doesn't seem too short in person though. Also, his eyes are very blue & nice, but not that unnaturally almost neon blue. I think the lighting & color correction of his movies make it look like that sometimes.

Despite me turning red and answering them - very audibly - with a "Nooo!" my parents REALLY wanna frame that photo now lol

OKAY it felt super good venting here a bit because I'm SO INCREDIBLY MAD AT MYSELF for not telling him how much I love Frodo and why and for for not asking for a hug on my birthday AND for having missed his panel because I was too distracted and stupid to find the right room but I'm still happy to have been able to show him my drawing, gotten the photo and to have met him overall. He seemed open and happy and when he comes to a convention in Germany or the Netherlands again I'll try to meet him again!

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

some more thoughts on the x-files: perihelion novel by claudia gray, which i zoomed through ravenously! tl;dr -- if you are searching for msr healing after the terrible s11 finale, you should read this and bask in its profoundly healing glow. you're welcome!

spoilers--

so, i had nooooo idea this existed until reddit told me the day before yesterday, and then my hoopla app actually had it, so i could get it INSTANTLY! it was like a dream come true!! the stars aligned for me! i honestly might read it again now.

i really love how this takes all the awfulness of the truly awful s11 finale and says, "okay, let's dive in and grapple with what this emotional reality would really be like. let's frickin' process." scully's pregnant in her 50s! their son is dead and apparently wasn't their son at all, instead the product of medical rape! you can so tell that this is written with the wisdom and insight of a woman writer's perspective, in a way that most of this show struggled profoundly with even in the 2010s (and it was so extra glaring and painful in the 2010s). it really dives into the repeated loss of bodily autonomy that scully experienced throughout the show, and how she grapples with that as she moves into this surreal experience of being pregnant again. it's just such an achingly astute portrayal of scully and how she tries to bury things and be sensible and keep moving forward and how at a certain point that's not tenable anymore. it felt like getting to be with her again in the best way. she also gets a female friend (ilu, dr. karen jones)!!!! which i adore!!!

i can see the hokey side of the whole 'scully now has powers that control electricity!' plot twist, but i have to say, as someone who feels sooooo ragey over everything scully went through, there's something so cathartic on a metaphorical level of scully's repressed feelings literally exploding the world around her. yeah! ⚡

you can tell this is written by someone who's a deep fan of the show and is intimately familiar with it (fanfic writing skills, what what! i distantly remember this author's fic from the days of yore!!) and especially with everything mulder and scully have gone through emotionally, which is so rewarding to read. i think the canon of the show itself kinda forgot some stuff, or didn't find it worth diving into, so it's so great to get that more fandom-oriented perspective that's really aware of the significance of the events of canon and how they would pile up on each other and create such a lasting impact. also, thank u for making mulder and scully kiss some more. long game! <3

both mulder's and scully's voices are absolutely perfect, both in conversation and narration, and their chemistry shines off the page. it really feels like being with them again. i don't have quite as much to say about mulder, since this is first & foremost scully's time to shine to me, but i think it captures his humor and disillusionment and general perspective so well, and the way he grapples with his sense of purpose. and there are just some really delightful mulder zingers in here, which are essential to my well-being.

domestic mulder and scully who are sort of a couple again but sort of keeping their distance is just such a delicious state to get to hang out in, and seeing them start to work through their trauma and get closer is so sublime!!! i just felt so fond of them, and i love how this captures both their fun, affectionate banter and their more serious, painful issues. this story really digs into their full relationship history in such a deep and thoughtful way. it's all there! they finally have sex in a motel shower! nature is healing!!! i can't believe i can buy this at a bookstore and hold it in my hands!!

i also love how this keeps in the style of the show with the extremely earnest philosophical voiceover-style monologuing from mulder and scully. it's truly just an essential part of the show's style and i love that it's here too.

(and scully writing diary entries and then tearing them up into tiny pieces and putting them in the incinerator!!! girl!!!! <3)

even if i'm obviously here for the shippy stuff first & foremost, i enjoyed the plot stuff. i like how this has a misogynistic serial killer plot, and it winds up that the guy doing it is just sort of small and horrible and easily defeated -- that felt so validating after having recently watched just, like, so many episodes about gross men killing women. the new mytharc is also fun enough that i would absolutely enjoy a multi-book series of mulder and scully dealing with it!

absolutely love the suggestions that mulder IS william's dad and that william is not dead. (and skinner's not dead either!) take that, s11 finale!!!!!! your evils are not insurmountable!

i wasn't familiar with the word "perihelion" so when it's revealed what its relevance is, i was sooooo in my feelings. now that's what i call emotional payoff!

oh my gosh they've got a baby girl on the way. 🥹🥹🥹 and now i really want to meet herrrrrrrrr. pls let this become the series it's so clearly setting up. 🙏

p.s. absolutely loved that we got a "SCULLAAAAY!" or two. it had to happen. <3

this book rules!

[suikamelon6]

So yesterday, @moderndaylestat and I attended the Newsreader S2 premiere event and got to meet Sam Reid in the flesh.

It was surreal because first I didn't know until the day before that Sam wasn't in Prague. I thought the premiere would be attended by Newsreader Melbournian' actors. We got confirmed tickets after midday so before that it was unsure that we would even get in.

Afterthoughts about Sam and the event:

I've not been in big indoor gathering for a long time (health related). So I had a mask on, CO2 monitor in my bag etc… and was glad I went. It felt safe and as for Sam related content, it couldn't have gone any better honestly. I've never met a celeb before. And never was motivated to go meet one. Nervous, shy… Would most of you know what I'm talking about?

The Newsreader Q&A was very interesting! Emma Freeman & Sam are like best buddies. Sam really appreciates how she was like an encyclopedia of what everyday of the shoot gonna look like. All the info kept in her head. I feel so excited for Emma's IWTV S2's! We are so lucky!

I got Emma to sign my manky old copy of IWTV book. She was so nice and surprised that I wanted her signature. So I said you are gonna give us two full episodes of IWTV S2! Of course I want your signature. She said she's so excited about that. And will go to Prague soon with Sam and crew members. (I don't know together or not). Sam and Emma seem to be such good mates, giggling on stage a lot!

Then it was our turn to talk to Sam. He asked if we liked the ep 1 of S2 of The Newsreader. Of course! Then he signed my old book, which he flipped around appreciating that it's a 20 yo yellowing copy!

I gave him 3 printed arts one of them of Lestat and Amel (like below but in the art print version it didn't have the speech bubble). He asked, "Is this book Armand?" I said "No, it's Amel actually." And he was like "OH! Amel!" Like happily surprised, didn't expect that.

I love him for being the biggest VC nerd who needs no explanation who Amel is!!! And I know he knows which books these scenes are from as well. We got so lucky to have Sam as Lestat. He really loves VC.

I said my wish is to see all these scenes with him in them. He said "That'll be a few years yet." So I said, "Yes, good luck with S2 and keep going!" I don't know what I was saying honestly.

#SamReid smiles a lot. When he knows it's your turn, waits and looks at you to come over with these deep blue eyes, talks to you like he's not in a hurry, looks he's elated that a single fan likes his work. His voice makes you relaxed.

And #SamReid is so polite and doesn't come too close or initiate hand shake or hug unless you do. A gentleman. Says thanks and nice meeting you like he means it. Takes photo without fuss. A dream of celeb. I don't know what others are like but he's so sweet.

Looking back, I wished I ask him why he looked so sad in that giant poster! I hope when the IWTVTWT moots here get to meet Sam and the boys, you have the intelligence and sense to write down your questions first!

After Sam left, @moderndaylestat and I had fun talking about writing fics and how it sucks 6 hours of our lives or the whole weekend without noticing… how beautiful it is in your head, but to get it on paper is something else.

Also we talked about Helen, Dale and ____'s possible threesome? Obviously good behaviour didn't last. We talked about top/bottom and totally makes sense for Helen/Dale/___ poly relationship!

Sorry about the incoherent thought vomit, hope some of this make sense.

[tomatoluvr69]

Post-Helene diary 10/16/2024. (As a general warning, lots of talk about death, including children)

Life (in the city at least) is slowly inching back to normal. I’m still out of work. Schools will be closed at least a month, all told. And it’s getting cold. An outlying town a stone’s throw north of the city, where I have a couple friends, got snow last night; one of them slept on our couch. Still no running water, signal is still fucked, and the power goes on and off. But having power is such a luxury, so you can boil the water you bring home and microwave and refrigerate food. Still struggling with morale, but getting more and more able to get out of bed & take care of myself, and forcing myself to be around people when I can, which really helps. Hoping to host a movie night maybe this weekend, we’re all super fried and it’d be nice to gather in a super low-stakes way.

Had a burial yesterday. The man was shrouded, and lowering him into his grave meant touching his body through thin fibers. He died on the third of October, a couple days after the storm, so not a drowning death, but I’m not sure what the cause was. The family was able to be present for this one, and the ceremony moved me, I’m so profoundly honored to have had the opportunity to do this through no merit of my own. It’s good work, to which I feel well-suited. But it’s strange to shovel dirt onto the decedent while his wife and children look on. They were all new to ecoburial, the man hadn’t chosen it the way many in the sanctuary have; it’s what’s called an at-need plot (and folks, WNC is at need right now, lol). You could tell that the informality and wooded surrounds of the setting unsettled them at first, but the way things are done there is far more ancient and meaningful than at a conventional lawn cemetery, with its mandatory cement vaults, embalming fluids, and non-biodegradable casket materials, and we encouraged people come up to lay soil, aerate the first layer with sticks to aid in microbial access, fill in more soil if they wished and lay pine straw over the finished mound for erosion control and seed germination. I believe strongly in ecoburial’s capacity for closure, that seeing the shrouded body be covered, and being involved in digging and closing the grave, or pallbearing/lowering the decedent, can be a powerful way to process death. People used to/still do die at home. People wash their loved ones’ bodies, braid their hair, burn incense over them, sew them into shrouds, lay them out unembalmed and unrefrigerated in their own homes; in 21st century America we are cold strangers to death— everything happens behind steel doors. (Even hearses are outmoded— odds are you’ve driven down the highway next to a Toyota Sienna or somesuch that’s been retrofitted to transport bodies to and from funeral homes, hospitals, mortuaries, crematories, and burial grounds, and you had no idea.) Ecoburial removes this gulf, and I believe it’s especially crucial in the aftermath of the wide-scale death and destruction our region has seen. But the cemetery is tiny, and can only take a sliver of the storm’s dead— only a couple plots remain unsold. The admin was looking at purchasing more land, but the woman at the helm of that drowned with her entire family in a flash flood.

A girl we know works/worked at a mortuary that was along the river— drove by there the other day on my way home, the obliteration is eerie, they were gutting it for demo. Driving near any river right now still has the surreal, gloatingly detached feeling of a soundless dream, especially along roads you took all the time before the flood. The building had been nondescript before, just a medium warehouse looking structure with vinyl siding. But the bodies stored inside went unrefrigerated and were exposed to floodwaters, an aspect of the disaster few people without contacts or experience in deathcare would consider. Imagine the times you’ve been grieving a family member— now imagine phones are off, the mortuary’s been obliterated, and you’re stranded in your building for a week with no information or answers.

Found out about the death of a little boy, first or second grade, who attended one of the schools whose students I work with. He wasn’t my student, just a classmate of some of mine, but I still find myself really broken up over it. He was around the same age as [best friend]’s coworker’s boys, 7 and 9, who drowned in [outlying county], and I know they’re not mine to grieve— but working with so many kids in that exact age range in our community i’m so acutely aware of the caliber of loss. It hits me in these overpowering waves. Nobody in Appalachia knew to fear a hurricane, you know? Life here has shifted tremendously.

After the burial, we ate some cold lunches and a random packet of imported Japanese grape candies, joking grimly and catching up on an out-of-the-way bench near an Iranian woman’s grave and a couple adelgid-ridden hemlocks, where we wouldn’t be heard by the lingering members of the funeral party. Then, donned chaps and ear pro/eye pro to buck a bunch of trees downed by the storm around the land. I like chainsawing, but I lost a ton of physical strength after my ribcage fracture this summer, and I definitely feel it when doing manual labor. The difference is palpable. But bucking is easy, it requires no brainpower, and my friends just told me which trees to cut, while they worried about tension and felling. But both burials and saw work is quite physical and my stamina is beyond shot— definitely felt it today. And I got fucking DOMS in my back!!!!???? lmao. Hung low most of the morning because my volunteer childcare thing got canceled— it stormed, of all fucking things.

It’s getting cold. It’ll dip below freezing tomorrow night, and my window’s still out; I may sleep on the couch in the living room, which sucks, but I’m gripped by severe fear for all the people in the region who have nowhere to go; when I drove with my friend through his neighborhood in Swannanoa we saw families whose prefab/mobile homes got swept down the river, gone forever and destroyed, camped out in tents along the riverbank. Tens of thousands are still lacking power and gas to heat their homes— we are in the south, but we are up in the highest mountains in the entire eastern US. People will be unable to clean themselves because washcloth baths will be untenable in the cold. People will freeze to death in their homes, tents, and cars. It just feels like wave after wave of horror keeps hitting the region. Even though life begins to be bearable for those of us in the city— groceries, internet! Showers at the YMCA!— you cannot enjoy it amid the destruction. It’s a really weird feeling to be one of the lucky ones. Just sheer dumb luck. There’s no wrapping your head around it, when old classmates lost family and watched as their homes were swept away, their farm animals drowned. Survivor’s guilt is fucking insane. It’s really insane.

Though I’m worried about what two months’ rent and utilities is gonna be like without any work, my morale is slowly ratcheting upwards. Three of my friends are leaving the city forever in the upcoming weeks, which is a tremendous blow. One of my favorite haunts, the indie cinema in the river arts district, was obliterated beyond repair— I nearly cried seeing those photos. I’ll be stuck watching Joker and Beetlejuice sequels at the fucking Cinemark forever now I guess. And the Blue Ridge Parkway, where I went to run and camp and drive and picnic, is closed indefinitely. But I believe that many of my other frequent haunts will come back, unless, like many of the businesses dependent on a tourist economy in the height of leaf season, they crumble financially. But the tiny little cinema is a huge loss. We fucking adored that place. And you could tell it was the product of its owners’ passion and love, and filled with character, quirk, and charm. Truly no idea how different life here will be over the next months and years. Definitely altered— but how much? I can’t imagine living in Marshall, or having a studio in the RAD, or working in Swannanoa. Again, I’m so lucky. But it’s gonna be a really hard couple of months and years here.

The long and short of it is that life is getting easier for some of us, myself included, and though the trauma is at times genuinely incapacitating— I feel as though I am crawling towards feeling better. Being able to shower and launder my clothing in my own home will be huge, but still weeks away by the sound of things. I’m really wary of the coming months but cautiously optimistic— I am starting to feel alive again, and enjoy things, and think about things that aren’t potable water access, and the drowned. But it will take time to recover. To give some context, to Americans at least— think of what would need to happen for your public schools to shutter for an entire month, county wide (I don’t know much at this point about the surrounding counties’ schools, some will start earlier, some are still fucked indefinitely). All that being said, though, it is beginning to get easier. And I have people to lean on, and the capacity to hold up others when they lean on me. My home is intact and I have shelves full of food, and a stovetop to cook it on. And I watched a movie a few days ago! We’re crawling out of it bitches.

Ok, I have to go haul flush water now, lmao, time to drive my reeking whip around to a bunch of ramshackle old baptist churches in the area to see which ones still have big unmanned water totes in their parking lots. How does it feel to help a member of the LGBT community!!!!!!

[not-that-n]

I read like all of Sleepless Domain yesterday and it was pretty good, its one of those stories that I know will really resonate with some people even though it didn't with me. Don't take that comment wrong, I think the comic is great and has some pretty amazing ideas, I love the world it presents and I love how the characters inside it act in relation to that.

I like all those things about magical girls being celebrities and how that's a purposeful way of making the concept feel more abstract and surreal to the average public so that girls don't hesitate to participate in such a life threatening job and how the general culture of the place sees magical girls and their organization, but I think the most compelling aspect of the comic was how different circumstances, mainly the presence of a support group, affect two people that went through the same tragedy.

If this sounds interesting to you, please go read it, it is a pretty good story that I know will resonate with some people incredibly deeply. That said, beware spoilers below

Tessa if my favorite part of the comic because of how that character reflects Undine's situation. While Undine still is hurting the loss of her three friends she takes action, while shy she still tries to better herself, to make new friends, to make new relations and get help, it is stated that she goes to therapy something that seems, well, logical considering what she goes through but outside of that she shows progress in trying to move on from this tragedy. She keeps hidden a lot because, well, of course she does, talking about such a traumatic event is incredibly hard specially if you think that opening up might put your friends in danger, but even though she is scared of this, she does open up, to Kokoro and then to her other, new friends. She is afraid but she works to Kokoro, she accepts her proposal to participate in the training club, she is afraid but she makes new friendships.

Its also important to mention Kokoro and just how much I like her as a character, originally I thought she was just too emotionally intelligent and that it made Undine's journey a bit more plain but that's kinda the point. Kokoro's character is about how a single person can change someone's life for the better through kind acts. She does struggle like everyone does, she is insecure and she went too through a great loss. She keeps somethings bottled up because she is afraid of making things about herself, of being annoying to the people she wants to help. But she still opens up to Undine, afraid of course but she does it. She makes the club a friend group and everyone ( except one character ) is better for it. Kokoro made the club a support network for everybody involved and that's incredibly cute and heartwarming, this one person made the world such a better place for most of her friends as a result of being so kind.

Then, as a parallel, you have Tessa's story. Instead of, like Undine, trying to get help and establish new relations and a support group, Tessa isolates herself, not letting herself move from that tragedy. She makes new friends, Rue (I won't talk about Rue much but she is amazing) and the whiteboy she likes (I forgot his name lmao) but never really opens to them, every time someone tries to get closer or make a friendship with her, she runs away and even with Rue, someone she actually used to hang out quite a lot and were friends if not really close, she still keeps at an arms length, never talking about her issues, never opening up. When Rue attempts to get closer, Tessa ends up hurting her, saying some (in universe) horrible things to say and breaking that friendship, she is constantly avoiding Undine, not answering and purposefully calling at a time she knows she won't be at home, and when they meet up again she is distant, not opening up, waiting until she goes away to showcase any feelings of discomfort as showcased by the comic panels only beginning to shatter when Tessa is alone.

And I find this such an interesting juxtaposition of characters because Undine tries to move on, she does feel horrible about it, saying that she feels like things are finally becoming normal when after such a tragedy things should never feel that way, she like Tessa feels like she shouldn't be moving from that moment of loss, that doing such isn't grieving correctly her friends. But unlike Tessa she doesn't let those feelings win mainly because when she doubts, Kokoro is in there to help her, to lift her up, to be the shoulder to cry on. While Tessa just goes to the cemetery every day, never opening up, lying to people about her situation and just further isolating herself.

When Rue, after all that happens, still tries to do the right thing, recognizing both that there's no excuse for Tessa treating her that way but that she is going through something incredibly hard, and asks her if she is ok, asks her, in a way, to open up about her feeling so she could help, Tessa again says no, she says that she is fine and only wanted to be alone in that moment, that she didn't mean what she said. Something that actually might not be completely bullshit, she probably never doubted Rue's magical girl ability and wanted to be alone, to isolate herself even more, and just said that so Rue couldn't get closer, and I find interesting that Tessa, in a way, said the truth to justify the pretty obvious lie that she is ok.

I just really love this, presenting two different, opposite outcomes of how people deal with tragedy makes both stories feel both more heartwarming and more tragic, when you read about Tessa you remember Undine's story and, knowing that Tessa could be going through that, it feels like adding salt to the wound because you know she can be in a better place, and while reading Undine's story you always have Tessa's on the back of your mind, feeling more heartwarming because you know how her friends helped her and what would happened if they didn't.

[bow-of-aros]

Day Seventeen: Raspberries

Summary: Steph keeps her promise to Peter to help him get Ruth and Richie back after yesterday.

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I didn't write the first one with the explicit intention to write a part two but it is HERE and it is LONGER THAN PART ONE!!!!! I'm in love with them they're all so silly. Chaotic found family my absolute beloved I hope y'all enjoy <33

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Steph swung the door open not even five seconds after Peter had done his signature knock knockknock, hair slightly disheveled as though she had been panic cleaning for the past fifteen minutes.

“Hey guys!” She holds the door open to wave Peter, Ruth, and Richie inside, “Come on in! Sorry about the mess, I put off tidying up until like twenty minutes ago like a dumbass.”

Called it.

Ruth and Richie went in first. Steph offers Richie a fistbump and a promise to practice their secret handshake later, then wraps Ruth up in a big hug that leaves her beaming.

Peter marvelled at how easily Steph had seemed to fit into their little group. She’d adapted to Richie’s anime obsession and Ruth’s need to constantly be in contact with someone with the sort of dedication that Peter brought to his study sessions.

It was something out of a dream to see how well they all got along.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by Steph wrapping an arm around his waist and kissing him on the cheek.

“Hey, babe.” A soft smile pulled at her lips as she looked up at him and he felt himself grinning in response.

“Hey, Steph.”

It was all still a little surreal. Peter was dating the mayor’s daughter. And she was awesome!

And they were in love with each other, as in she loved him back!

A squeeze to his side had him yelping and curling around her hand before looking up at Steph with questioning eyes.

“Where’d you go, Pete? You were off in la la land for a minute there.” She waggled her eyebrows at him, “Thinking about anything particularly exciting?”

He’s always thought that honesty is the best policy.

“I was just thinking about how lucky I am to have you and how it feels like you were the missing piece of our group, and now everything feels a little more whole.”

Silence rang for a moment as a pleased flush crept up Steph’s face.

“GAAAYYYYYYY!”

Yeah, he really was pushing his luck with that one.

“Shut the fuck up, Ruth!” Richie’s voice sounded from the living room which was presumably where they both were, eavesdropping, “Let them be gay in peace!”

Peter and Steph rolled their eyes at each other at their friends’ antics, laughing as muffled bickering inevitably started making its way towards them.

“Let’s go join them before they actually kill each other.”

They started making their way to the living room before Steph grabbed his arm and said, “And, for the record, there are days when I cannot believe how lucky I am. Yeah, for meeting Richie and Ruth and the chaos that comes with them, but mostly for meeting��you, Pete.”

She laughs, running a hand through her hair, “Shit, I don’t even want to think about depressing my life would be if I hadn’t asked you to help me cheat on that biology test.”

And with that, plus a quick kiss to his jaw, she skipped away, leaving Peter slack-jawed and red-faced, trying desperately not to melt into a puddle on the spot.

“Come on Peter! We’re ordering pizza and then we’re gonna play Mario Party!”

Ruth’s voice spurred his brain back into semi-working order and he nearly tripped over his own feet in his scramble to the couch.

He made sure to throw himself on top of both Richie and Ruth, jabbing them with bony elbows and knees as he clambered in between Steph and Richie. Steph is in the middle of ordering the pizza, so Peter just leans back against Richie and reaches a hand across his lap to rest it on Ruth’s arm, smothering a laugh at her little bounce of excitement.

“And done!” Steph turns to them, “The pizza should be here in about thirty minutes, so we got some time to kill.”

“Should we set up Mario Party?” Ruth leaned out from beside Richie with hopeful eyes, careful not to dislodge Peter’s hand on her arm.

“Actually,” Peter could feel Richie tense beside him, knowing where this was going but refusing to move so that he wouldn’t upset Ruth, “I think I remember promising Peter something yesterday. So, Ruth?”

Ruth perked up, a nervous smile already spreading across her face, “Uh, yeah?”

Steph���s grin turned wicked, “I think that you should start running.”

They’d both taken off before she’d even finished her sentence, leaving Peter to wrestle Richie down on his stomach.

“Peter! Pete! You don’t have to do this, man!”

Richie’s plea was punctuated by a shriek from somewhere in the house followed by peals of frantic laughter.

Peter cracked his knuckles before reaching down to rub them into the back of Richie’s ribs.

“What? This?” He had to raise his voice to be heard above Richie’s squeals, “This is revenge, Richie! He who shows no mercy will receive none in return!”

And, yeah, maybe he was being a little dramatic, but after the shit that Richie had pulled yesterday, Peter was having a pretty hard time feeling bad about it.

“How’s it going in here Pete?” Steph walked back into the living room pulling a stumbling, giggling Ruth alongside her. “Having fun?”

“Oh yeah, totally!” He replied, giving rapid-fire squeezes to Richie’s sides to hear the hysteric little squeaks he let out. “How about you?”

Steph pulled Ruth down beside her on the loveseat next to the couch, casually clawing her nails into Ruth’s stomach and speaking over the resulting shriek.

“I’m having a good time. I figured you’d want to help out with some of the revenge since it’s your revenge. So, what do you say, Pete, where do I go from here?”

She gestured at Ruth who looked up pleadingly at Peter.

“Nohohoho! Don’t say anythihihihing! I’ll stop complaining about you winning at Super Smash Bros!”

Peter hummed thoughtfully, drumming his fingers on Richie’s back to give him a bit of a breather while still keeping him on edge. Steph seemed entertained by his dramatics, and when has that been anything but encouraging?

He made direct eye contact with Ruth but directed his next words to Steph, “If you trace her wrists and her forearms really lightly, she’ll start screaming.”

Ruth started babbling half-hearted pleas for mercy that everybody could tell she didn’t mean, and Peter added, “Brace yourself because it will be loud. You have been warned.”

Steph’s nails touched down and Peter was immediately proven right as Ruth’s shriek seemed to rattle the glass around them. Steph’s delighted laugh was nearly drowned out, but her, “Huh. This is definitely a new one. Never hurts to have a kill-switch though,” certainly wasn’t.

Richie’s sudden attempt to buck his way out of Peter’s hold nearly succeeded due to his being distracted by Steph’s apparently evil tendencies and Ruth’s whining cackles as she desperately tried to pull her arm away.

“Oh no you don’t!” He used Richie’s momentum to flip him over to his back, making sure to immediately shove Richie’s hands under his knees and press down on them to prevent any attempts at turning the tables.

“Hey, Steph!” Peter called over, “Richie and I have basically known each other our entire lives since my brother and his uncle work together, do you wanna see his kill-switch?”

At those words, Steph’s eyes lit up at the same moment that Richie’s went wide and he started kicking out, hitting nothing but the arm of the couch.

“Hell yeah I do—”

“No! Nonononono Pete, you can’t do this to me! We’re best friends you can’t kill me!”

Richie stared up at him with his best puppy dog eyes, something that he would normally give in to if he didn’t have a girlfriend to impress.

Peter just pouted back at him, “Aw but Richie, I can’t disappoint Steph!”

And without giving him the chance to respond, Peter pushed his shirt up to his ribs, leaned down, and planted a raspberry right on his stomach.

Steph and Ruth actually clapped their hands around their ears at the scream that he let out but Peter, who’s dealt with his fair share of Richie’s bloodcurdling screeches, just took in another deep breath and leaned back down.

The second scream wasn’t as deafening as the first, and Peter could tell that Richie was getting tired, so he figured that he’d let him off the hook.

“So. Are you sorry about yesterday?”

When Richie took too long to answer, Peter started leaning back down again, and he basically tripped over his own tongue trying to get the words out.

“YES! I’m sohohohohorry! Petey plehehehease I’m dyhihihing!”

“Annnnndddd will you do my functions homework for the next week?”

“Peter!” Steph chided, “Cheating is wrong.”

They all froze for a moment before cracking up and Peter rolled off of Richie and held out a hand to help him up.

Instead of using it to pull himself up, Richie pulled Peter down on top of him. Instead of a counter-attack like he’d been expecting, Richie just wrapped his arms around Peter and yawned very loudly.

Right in his face.

“Dude, gross! I don’t need your nasty-ass breath in my face.” But instead of doing anything about it, Peter just relaxed into his hold.

This beautiful moment was broken by a camera flash going off and Steph exclaiming, “Awwwww! My cute boyfriend with his cute boyfriend! Fucking precious.”

The sarcasm had a genuine edge to it, but they both still flipped her matching birds.

“GERONIMO!” Was the only warning they got before Ruth came crashing down on top of them and, despite getting the wind knocked out of them, they shuffled around to make room for her on the increasingly crowded couch.

Ding-dong!

“That’s probably the pizza,” The trio stared at Steph for a moment, “Which I will be getting. There better be room on that couch for me when I get back!”

They lay there in silence for a moment before Ruth sighed, “I love you guys.”

“We love you too, Ruth.”

“And I love Steph. She’s awesome.”

“Yeah,” Peter said, “She is pretty cool, huh?”

The overlapping groans from his friends only stoked the warmth in his chest as he squeezed them closer.

That’s when Steph skipped into view, pizza boxes in hand, “I have pizza!”

As they untangled themselves, Peter looked up at the girlfriend he was in love with, surrounded by the friends who made him feel whole, and knew that he wouldn’t trade this for the world.

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

ARCTIC MONKEYS 25/06/23

okay now that i've had some time to (slightly) emotionally and physically recover from yesterday, i need to flail about the highlights:

1) meeting one of my absolute favourite humans who i would never have got to know if it hadn't been for this little corner of tumblr - and then getting to share the excitement/nerves/elation/exhaustion rollercoaster of seeing am with them was just - there aren't even words for it. so special 💖

2) learning how to navigate rain ponchos

3) impulse buying too much merch (but also not regretting it. the glasgow tour poster is going to be the first thing going on my wall in my new flat)

4) the mirrorball starting to twirl just before they all came onstage and sending the colours of the afternoon sun everywhere

5) the sheer rush of the moment they all walked onstage together (also that was pretty much the only time i got to glimpse nick and matt at all 💔 from where i was standing i could mostly only see alex and jamie)

6) seeing alex a few metres away in real life after months of looking at his beautiful, dorky little expressions in photos/videos was surreal in the best possible way- there's just something so different about the way you get a sense of someone's energy when you're in the same space with them?? and as someone who's endlessly interested in people, i'm fascinated by how alex simultaneously gives off really reserved, self-contained vibes at the same time as being such a dynamic and captivating performer - like he’s so good at tapping into emotions without letting them be a door into how he’s actually feeling (if that makes any sense, my post-gig brain is not very articulate) i guess that all very much makes sense with all the stuff he's said about personas/performing, but it was still so interesting to get to really feel that sense of his presence in live time. he's definitely very much in control but in a very understated kind of way

7) a bunch of birds circling overhead on one side of the crowd, alex seeing them and dramatically declaring 'release the rest of the birds' 

8) me and the lovely human i went with turning to each other with expressions of sheer joy when the opening bars of crying lightning were played (and don't sit down. and four stars. and arabella. and - you get the picture. getting to share the sheer delight of your favourite songs being played is just the loveliest feeling 💗)

9) alex doing a quirky little 'ha ha' laugh in the middle of body paint 

10) mirrorball coinciding with the most beautiful pink dusk and half moon just above the stage, and getting to witness alex’s piano playing at the start of it

11) body paint. just. body paint. i think my soul left my body.

12) how much energy and enthusiasm alex seemed to have throughout the set - especially after the last week or so it was just the loveliest thing to see him messing about and having fun. and his voice sounded SO good. how anyone manages to sing like that (let alone sound like that less than a week after cancelling shows due to laryngitis) is an absolute mystery to me

13) alex's theatrical hand gestures for crying lightning (the one for gobstopper was a particular favourite)

14) hearing 505 when dusk has just fallen and you can see the smudged moon behind the deep indigo clouds is the only way anyone should ever hear 505 

15) alex and matt having a giggle about something mid set

16) obviously i was aware of how stupidly talented they all are - but there's something about seeing it unfold in front of you in real time that makes it really hit you. the sound wasn't great where i was for some of the time so i don't feel like i got the best audio sense of everything, but i was just so struck in particular by matt on the drums and also alex with his guitar playing. i feel like when i'm just listening to their records i'm so busy listening to alex's voice that i forget how incredible a guitar player he is and - wow. just. yeah. it honestly took my breath away.

17) getting the distinct impression that it provides alex with a sense of amusement to deliberately do that thing where he sings the lyrics at slightly different speeds to trip the crowd up

18) even though i ended up being in significant pain for the second half of the set and had to go find somewhere a little further back where i could lean against the railings (chronic pain conditions and standing for 6+ hours apparently isn't the best mix), nothing could dull how magical it was hearing all the tracks from the car that they played closer to the end. standing there in the dusk and feeling so much about everything is something i'll never forget. it truly brought home to me so poignantly everything about why am's music means so much to me and how much love i have for them 💜

19) being in the exact line of direction alex blew kisses to at the end

20) the hazy post-gig walking in the dark under lit up green trees with the lovely human i went with and our conversations about am and creativity and the courage of sharing music 💖

[stonedstargazer666]

I just did the hardest thing in my life.

Now I'm not sure how to go about talking about something like this.... i'm not all here mentally so just bear with me.... TW: Death, passing of a loved one, and organ donation. self harm mentioned.

I'm in Louisiana… Got here yesterday, everything feels like a blur… yet it feels like it's moving in slow motion…. It feels really good to see my stepmom, and stepsibs and my half brother Bear who came down to Louisiana JUST for me. Bear and our dad didn't really have a relationship, not the way I did with our dad. But Bear came down from Minnesota for me..... and I'm truly grateful for that.

My dad was legally pronounced brain dead on September 3rd 2024. Yesterday, September 4th, 2024. He had his Hero Walk from his ICU room to the ambulance bay…. i feel… I dont know… I've only ever have seen that on like med dramas before.. ya know? There's a place out here were they take him to handle as they put it "His gifts". Because he was an organ donor… I'm so proud of him for that Oh my gods I'm so proud of him for that…. but that walk… seeing all those doctors and nurses staff. some of who are my step moms co workers… it was the hardest thing i have ever done/ had been a part of in my life…. there is already a recipient of his liver. My dad is going to save someone else's life….. (we just got a call from the place that he went to, they were able to recover his liver, and two other things for transplants!!! THREE THINGS. MY dad is helping three different people!!!!)

Before we did the Hero Walk, Bear got to hang up a flag in honor of our dad. which was flown at half mast at the hospital. He's keeping the flag. Yesterday I had the honor of recording his heartbeat, and it's on my phone. I haven't listened to it since recording it.... I'm scared too, but I know that I wanna save up to get a Seattle Seahawks bear from Build a bear and put his heartbeat in that. I know it's going to kill me everytime I play it, but I think it'll also help???? the jury is still out.. lol

THe hero's walk was so surreal.... seeing that in real life.... I...I don't know how to process it... the doctors, nurses, and staff lined the hallways from the ICU to the ambulance bay.... it was so quiet, and I was sobbing the entire time walking behind my dad. He really is a hero... and my respect for him grew. I already had so so much respect for him. But wow.... The hero's walk was up til today, something I only saw on med dramas.... it felt so heavy, every single one of those people in those hallways had such a heavy look of respect and admiration for my dad. I feel like I'm shock kinda.... just a lot going on my head I cant keep things straight tbh...

Everyone has been a mess, but I think my stepmom and I take the cake on being a mess. (She doesn't have Tumblr, and none of my other family do so i'm not worried about them seeing this heh...) I have been dissociating a lot... I think... been blasting Sleep Token a lot to deal with this.... I never thought that my dad would be gone so soon... It's weird sitting in his chair writing this, knowing that he would usually never let anyone else sit in it... I have moments of hearing his voice when it's completely silent.... it's a sound that I will never forget, and his deep belly laugh when you would get him rolling.... his smile... Gods... I don't know how to feel.... it's weird to be here without him.... I wouldn't be sober if it wasn't for my dad, yeah I made the choice to get sober, but he helped me. He let me scream, cry, vent.... I didn't go to rehab, I literally detoxed on a greyhound bus on my way to Ohio. but when I got to Ohio. My dad was a Video call away, and I called him a lot. He didn't care about my ramblings, or the fact that I can never stay on topic.... he did the same thing.

We are cremating him, and having a wake for him with a viewing... which is going to be really hard for me honestly. After seeing him in the ICU.... but I think it'll be nice. and by cremating him. I'll be able to always have a little piece of him with me always. I just need to find something for his ashes, something that means something to both of us. Just us. I don't know where to even start... I'm not gonna be able to do anything until next month anyway...... I honestly feel so lost right now.... I keep thinking who am I gonna call. and my first thought is my dad....

I can't call him, and it hurts so much. But I know he isn't in pain anymore. He's with his dad, and grandpa. He's with my grandma, and aunts who loved him. But.... I feel lost... my heart hurts so much... I know that I'll learn to cope, and with a lot of time. It will get easier, but it doesn't feel like it. It really doesn't...

there is a GoFundMe going... i can get it from my stepmom if anyone wants it.. it was set up by a family friend.. just dm me I guess. i'll answer DMS but that's really it.

Me and my dad in 2019 in Idaho

This picture of my dad, I'm not sure when it was taken, but he looks so cool.

My dad when he was about 17 or so and his Mopar, this is my absolutely favorite picture of him. Picture courtesy of my Uncle Floyd on Facebook hehe.

Then these are pictures of his flag, the first three I took from the parking lot of the hospital. the last one my brother Bear took. I'm gonna post more photos of my dad. My Uncle Floyd, his brother is sending me a lot, and my stepmom and I are going through his facebook page and shes telling me stories about some of them. While going through some of his stuff... I know its soon.... but honestly... I'm keeping a lot of it. IDK where I'm putting it. But so far its mainly clothes, and stuff me and TJ one of my partners can wear. Might give my other partner a shirt if they'd like....

My dad is a hero, and is going to be saving someone's life tonight with the gift of his liver. I am so proud to be his daughter, but at the same time I am so hurt that he's gone. A small piece of him is going to live on with somebody else, whoever that is. I know they will be grateful for this, and that makes me happy. so happy, my dad loved helping people. So he is very much a super hero in my eyes.

Fly high daddy. I love you so much. You are saving one more life tonight, and I am so proud of you. So very proud to be your daughter, thank you for being my dad and one of my best friends. Even if you said that we weren't. I feel in my heart of hearts we were, I will never stop thinking about you. Or what you would do, or say. what jokes you would make, or how you say them. I love you so so much. I know you will be watching over us from now on, and that you wouldn't want me crying. But dammit dad... you know how I am... I can't help it... It's going to take a while before I can think of talk about you with crying. and you know it. you were always my hero for many reasons....

Do you know how hard it is going to be for me? Not being able to call you? Not being able to excitedly chitter to you about small things like my crystals or tarot cards? or...or calling you crying because I don't feel good or I have cramps and you make me feel better by making me laugh?? I know you know... I get the concept. heh.. But...I guess something is coming from it. I'm getting to know my Uncle Floyd better... He misses you a lot dad, Floyd loves you so much. He's sending me all of these really neat pictures of you guys... and he was making me laugh. Explaining the difference between having a mullet, and having long hair with bangs... lol

Floyd has been checking in on me and everyone almost daily, I haven't talked to him this much ever... which, yeah I know I can't take all the blame. He even said so.... You know you two are so much alike its kinda scary. heh. He called me princess the other day while I was on greyhound. I don't think he was thinking about it to be honest. He's been calling me kiddo a lot, kinda like you did. I think its cute. hehehe. But I think sadly this was the push I needed to connect with him more... He also has a really nice voice, just like yours. And the push I needed to connect with Kim more too.

I know that because of my mom, my relationship with Kim has been kinda weird. But I'm realizing that... some information was revealed and more clarified to me about certain happenings with my mom and wellll.... let's just say there are A LOT of emotions right now with that... I don't even know where to begin on that.... woooboyyyy dad... there's a lot to unpack there... and I know we've kinda touched on this crap here and there and really talked about things from your point of view. But Kim told me stuffs that.... Well I'm gonna need to talk to my therapist about it first because I really don't know how to process it. Because it was during the time I was treating you so horribly.... and I'm sorry... I didn't fully know or understand what was going on. I know I know I don't have to apologize for anything I know. But knowing this new information..... I'm sorry..... I'm so sorry. Ok i'm gonna try not to say that anymore. TRY.

I'm taking a lot of your clothes to be honest, oh and Ace is like my best friend now. Look! HE HUGE DAD HOLY FUCK

As soon as I started talking to Floyd Ace came out and started loving on me. I love him so much dad, he's so soft and sweet oh my gosh. But he misses you. He's definitely your cat lol for sure your cat. Everytime attacks Kim I giggle I can't help it. it's so funny, Tucker and Flash miss you too. Tucker has been so happy to see me. I love those dogs so much. I'm so happy to see them, and cuddle with them!!!! it's been so nice to be writing this and being able to set this aside to love on one of them for a minute. It's also been nice to spend time with Bear, We hung out a little yesterday.

He needed to run to Walmart, I tagged along cause well I wanted to go for a car ride. and I wanted to spend time with him too. He did drive all the way down here for me.... and yeah I know. I'm just glad he's here, he's getting some kind of closure with all of this... I know I've always been kinda like the fixer.. always trying to fix things... like relationships. like with my mom and Kim.

I now understand what was really going on... and I...I can't fix that. I can't, I have my own shit I need to worry about dad... like how i'm gonna live without you.... how am I going to do that?? I know I have TJ and Fruits... Kim, Bear, Floyd... Yes I've been constantly talking to TJ. I've been keeping him updated every step of the way....

But not you.... goddammit dad..... I know I'm going to be ok eventually, but this fucking sucks right now... My mind is racing, one minute I'm laughing about something you joked about or said, the next i'm shaking and sobbing because you aren't here... I feel like i'm constantly panicking.... I would totally lose my mind if I wasn't here with Kim and them... honestly I think if I wasn't here with them, I think I would be hurting myself right now or wanting to be really badly.... and that's a scary thought to be honest. I don't know if I do right now... but so much has been going on that I haven't really thought bout it frankly. I'm keeping a lot of your shirts for myself and TJ. I'm gonna see if J wants any of them. If not, well I'm not worried about it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I promise to take good care of your shirts that your dad gave you. I have a lot of good memories of you two together, so to have some of these shirts that I vividly remember grandpa Taylor wearing when I was little, then seeing you wearing them... now me... its.... very special to me. And I'm very honored?? I'm not sure if that's the right term, but i'm gonna go with it...Of course I'm taking your Kiss Blankie, and one of your Seahawks shirts. my favorite one. the one you always wore, you know the one. hehe. I even have the shirt J and I made for you when we were teeny tiny. My handprint is so small oh my gosh dadddd... I promise to take good care of it.

Gods....there's so much more I wanna say. But I'm not really sure how too... I definitely feel like i'm still in shock...I thought I still had time... Dad... You HAVE to tell people when you don't feel good, I know you don't like people worrying about you but... THIS IS WHYY!! GOD dad.... I'm happy your not in pain anymore I'm so happy for that, cause god knows that you hated it so much... But this was too fucking sudden for everyone. Too fucking sudden old man.... Christ... leaving me...us like this... fucking hell dad.... I just... I need you. here with me. I'm always going to need you. I don't know what I'm going to do without you.... you were a really good man whether you believe it yourself or not.

You ARE a good man, you saved three different lives.... but mine is going to be changed forever and you know how much I hate change like this..... Honestly personally I don't think I'll ever really get over this, or this trauma... I really don't think I will. I hate this so much I do. plain and simple. I want you here with me dammit, it's not fucking fair! It's so not fucking fair!! I hate feeling like i'm being selfish when I know this is normal....I feel like I have to be strong for everyone else I don't wanna be. I spent most of my life hating you because of my mom!!! I HATE MYSELF FOR THAT AND ITS NOT MY FAULT. I missed out because of her, and because she lied to me about a lot of things..... and that's time I will never get back with you.... that kills me so badly..... like oh my gods it hurts bad.... so much..... I know there is still a lot of high running emotions. But you know how strongly I felt and loved.... gods... How am I going to this without you? I know I will..... but right now...I don't know how... I really don't know how..... I love you so much this hurts so badly.... I don't think I can properly pet into words how bad i'm hurting.... how badly i'm missing you right now. I know for a fact that if you were here right now, we would be talking about everything under the sun. Gods I need that right now..... I really do daddy... I just wanna talk to you, and laugh and hug you.

I would give almost anything for just one more day.... just to hear your voice, see your green eyes. hear your laugh.... feel your arms around me... I am so glad that we were able to work on our relationship. So fucking grateful. you mean so much to me daddy, you really do. I hope you know how much you mean to me.... I really really hope you do . I love you dad. I will talk soon.... maybe... might start a sideblog with letters for you... I'll have to think about that for a little bit. But I love you daddy. I will talk you later. toodles....

[b0nten]

BLOOMING FLOWERS SPRING CAN’T FEEL

[SYNOPSIS] ˚⁀➷｡ what more is there to hate when life takes away the one you loved the most?

[NOTES] ˚⁀➷｡ for my bae @insomniac-jay <3, took so long because i tried to do the best research i could, and because i never liked what i wrote until today. also! if you squint, it’s slight naoto x reader but it doesn’t really matter. i hope you like it!!!! not proofread

you still can’t grasp it, it sort of feels surreal.

just like this morning felt, when you put your kimono on, and did your hair. hina loved the way you looked in traditional clothing, she said it made you shine.

and albeit you two’s pictures flooding the tachibana home, you were still surprised when her mom rang your doorbell to gift you a box, feeling slightly heavier than the last silk garment they had given you while you and hina were still in high school.

“please wear it, y/n-chan, ” ryoko’s voice was just as gentle as you remembered it growing up, but it was sad, “they make you…shine.” and full of anguish.

you could only nod, swallowing back the thick saliva that was gathering in your throat, blinking back the tears with the same eyes ryoko knew how to read as if they were her own daughter’s. reaching out for your hand longer than usual, she only smiled.

you still didn’t quite grasp it, not even when you put on your pearl necklace, and locked your front door, heading down the apartment block’s stairs, like usual.

it was like your normal way to school, and later, uni, and even later, work, walking exactly 100 meters and riding for 7 minutes and a half, before switching lines at otomachi, and riding for another 5 minutes. this time only, you had to take the south exit instead of the north one, and stroll for thirteen minutes, passing by a park, a bakery, two liquors shops and some sky-rise towers.

“welcome.”

it was different, because you entered the funeral home, where the assistant, ready to guide you to the high-school colleagues category, was interrupted by naoto. he simply took your hand and walked you over to the rest of the family. you were used to seeing naoto on saturdays, not fridays or the both of them. you had seen him yesterday, at the wake, when it was friday, so it almost went like any other day. or that’s at least how your mind put it.

and when you were sitting down, eyes glued to the monk’s back as he chanted out the prayers, naoto’s hand still found a way to get to yours, firm touch against glass skin, afraid he’d break it any minute now.

and now you sit between your younger brother and his mother that took you in when you were at flourish in your heydays, deafly listening to a monk chanting a sutra for hinata. you glance over at her and can’t help but think how beautiful she looks in the matching kimono, and how much hina resembles her. resembles, not resembled, she’ll now forever keep her beauty.

you heard japanese people experience three religions in their lifetime: birth as shintoism, marriage as christianity and death as buddhism, but you didn’t even go through one. hell, hina herself only went through two.

and whereas ryoko always told naoto to stop hurting the table because even the piece of wood had its own life itself and the boy silently complied, you were stuck figuring out what it is that you believed in. you believed in kindness. the kind of kindness hina showed you, that was the firm conclusion you accepted, so now you could only pray that the afterlife was going to show her the same gentleness and love she gave the world, her journey smooth in crossing over the sanzu river and mind clear in choosing the paths she takes, making it easy for her soul to find serenity.

you wake up once you’re signaled to join the incense rite. with slightly shaking fingers you pinch up the dry fragrance, touching it against your forehead. amidst blurred vision and hours of unslept time, you see masato wipe a ghost of a tear with the back of his crisp black suit. you set the incense in the flame bowl, and walk away, next to the parents, pupils blown and face puzzled, as if you don’t know what the world you live in is. you see familiar faces; old classmates and family friends of the tachibanas’ that you got to meet long time ago, cousins, teachers, and ex-coworkers. you think you notice some of them staring at you, what is she doing here? — what is she doing there? — next to your best friend’s family.

naoto definitely sees them, he definitely notices their judging looks, but today he can’t do justice. he won’t, because he likes to think he’s partly come to terms with his sister’s death, but no matter what, police academy never prepares you to lose your sister when you least expect it.

he throws a quick glance over his shoulder, reassuring himself you’re still there although you don’t look or feel like you’re there at all, bones wrapped in flesh, wrapped in soft black silk. you start to think maybe there is something wrong with you.

grief is a weird emotion with no textbook manifestation. there is no right or wrong way to feel following a loss. but why don’t you feel anything? why do you know that it’s happening, but you’re not fully in yet? why can’t you scream or cry or whimper or fake a smile. why has your whole face been frozen this whole time?

people come and people go and like an old charlie chaplin movie on repeat, the same action you have done repeats itself a million of times fast forwarded until your mind goes blank. you feel black-and-white.

naoto taps your shoulder. “do you want to see the body?” he eases you into it. he was always such a gentle soul.

you try to say something but choke on the words. he sees, eyes widening as his muscles tense. you only nod, and he walks with you to the casket.

maybe if you see it, your mind will take on it. you’re given a flower, the white chrysanthemum you dreaded to even think about, and the same happens to naoto.

the people in front of you all put their flowers in the casket, small step by even smaller step allowing you to approach her face. it’s just the same, except it isn’t glowing, or happy or doing anything. she’s not singing, she’s not moving. she’s dead. you know it. but why can’t you acknowledge it?

you reach into the deep inside pocket of the kimono, a neatly kept, small picture grazing the white coffin. you don’t ponder, and lay it next to your friend.

naoto freezes when he sees it. he took it, the day is burned into his memory so deeply that if he were to ever lose his reminiscence, this is the only recollection he’d have. it’s you and his sister. you’re dressed in kimonos — that was your first time wearing it — and you were excited. just fresh into spring, you both chose to wear pink: hina’s dress had delicate camellias on it, scattered playfully all around the fabric, while yours had orange blossoms intricately all across. it also was your first time wearing getas; your feet hurt so bad he had to call his dad to carry you home by the end of the festival. he didn’t mind it though, because you had fun that evening.

he reaches for the picture and looks at the back.

“doesn’t this kimono make her shine, naoto?”

“yes, it definitely does.”

scribbled on the thin paper are some almost unrecognizable kana and kanji, but naoto knows what they say by heart. he slips the square into his sleeve and puts his flower in his sister’s casket instead.

not long after everyone is done saying their goodbyes, the tachibanas and you head to the crematorium. ryoko holds your hand as she picks up the bones and sets them in the urn, and you try your best to soothe a mourning mother’s aching heart.

once everything is done, you pass the envelope to the receptionist. it’s a little over a million, and you see it on the woman’s face that she knows it too, by the width of the wrapping. you didn’t notice how much money it was until you recounted it, half an hour before leaving your apartment, so you just left it all there. no 10.000 bills, no crisp bills, at least that.

she hands you the little bag with salt, tea and snacks and you bow before leaving the crematorium.

“y/n, wait!” a voice you know very well shouts after you, tall silhouette speeding from the building into the same darkness you’re headed into.

“mom said to walk you home.” naoto looks down at you gently, as if he’s your big brother and not the other way around.

“you know you’re not actually my older sister, right?” he interrupts your exact thoughts, “we’re the same age, you were fortunate enough to be in the same grade as hinata, that’s all.” he taunts, taking you back to your salad days.

you smile approvingly and he doesn’t hesitate to take the gift bag from your hand, and walk right beside you.

the air is grim and you still feel a little bit unreal. you feel limitless, but like a void, rather than the young shoujo manga protagonist you always dreamt of being, and you can feel it in naoto’s breath too, how he tries to not let the anger drown him out. you know it’s unbearable for him too.

halfway through the walk, he breaks the silence.

“i’m glad you finally learned how to walk in getas.” he admits, and you look up. a genuine laugh stifles from your throat and his face lights up.

“naoto,” you say, “these are zoris. i wasn’t going to attend a funeral in geta sandals.” explaining, you watch his face drop in embarrassment.

“yes, i totally saw that…!”he stutters but continues to joke, hinting at the past, talking of hina as if she’s still there, next to you. in passing moments of silence, you feel overwhelmed, guilty.

faith’s a game of cat and mouse, and you play it just like you want. you laugh with naoto and you realize it’s nice to feel this sense of .. belonging. in between numbness and denial, he made your day a little better. he took some of the burden off, he ripped some of the weeds growing between your lungs, letting you breathe normally again, granting you a peaceful moment in what felt like a lifetime since your best friend died.

you step foot into the apartment building, giddy and smiley, but it all vanishes once you look around. it’s dull, it’s ugly. and you feel like you’re right next to hinata. that’s how she made you feel every time you came back from a night out in the city, arm slung around her shoulder laughing at everything she said, almost knocking over the both of you.

you look around as you climb every step and somehow, the laughs and the joy all seem to disappear in the place you spent some of the most time with her.

when you reach your front door, it feels almost surreal again, because instead of hina behind you, it’s the boy you grew up with. he looks nothing like her — he takes after his father — but he feels so familiar that when he stops you from entering your home your breath hitches a little.

“don’t forget to throw the salt.” he reminds with a slight lecture in his voice, like his sister once said “don’t forget to change your shoes.”

so, when your wrist brushes past your shoulder-blade, your zoris break under the memories you shared along the way and the ones etched into the walls of the hall.

you tug at your necklace as you finally let yourself cry.

you finally know it’s real, even more so, because you feel not one, but two familiar presences engulfing you in warmth.

one strokes your hair with the palm that keeps you pressed into his shoulder, while the other hand looks at an old photograph, and the second hugs you both, wanting to lecture you with the love and gentleness of an older sister that didn’t get to say her part.

[fyodoro]

HII im request this, because i love ur writing sm<333

but what if akito x f!reader

but the readers a idol and shes kinda popular, so shes has a lot of boys hitting on her in school and akito gets jealous.

-> “𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞?”

He knew this would be a common occurrence when he started dating you… but do these guys seriously not see him holding your hand while they flirt?

With Akito Shinonome | Genre - fluff

Cw) cursing, mean jealous people boooo, jealous akito is not one of them

Akito knew what he was getting himself into. He had to after all. You- a popular idol known all around the country, who can be recognized from a mile away, with him, an average guy. You both went over it several times before it was made official, though you refused to let him refer to himself as “an average guy.”

You and Akito attempted to keep it on the low, but the paparazzi sees everything apparently. No amount of disguises and wigs could keep you hidden from at least one skeptical eye, even at an underground live house. But today the simple wig and glasses seemed to do the trick.

It took every ounce of self control in you to avoid cheering, not wanting your voice to get recognized. But when your boyfriend hit a perfect high note- you couldn’t help the loud cheer of enthusiasm and excitement you let out. A few heads turned, but they didn’t pay any mind until…

“Hey- you sound a lot like (Full Name), and now that I look at you-“ a random crowd member said. You couldn’t bear to keep listening, hoping if you ignored him he’d leave it be.

While he might have left it be in that moment, he was certainly determined to find out whether it was really you or not, even after the event ended. Going as far as to follow you backstage…

You immediately jumped on Akito once you saw him, praising him and how well he did on stage tonight. Of course praising his fellow group members, but mainly Akito. Giggles erupted from An as everyone watched the ginger go beet red. Assuming no one was around to see this, he tugged your wig off along with the net.

Your real locks fell into place like dominoes. ‘That’s better’ he thinks, preferring your natural self over any disguise you have.

The other members of Vivid Bad Squad already knew who you were, and found it less odd due to An’s connection with Haruka Kiritani. It felt a little surreal at first, but they’ve become accustomed to your presence over a short period of time. So of course you and Akito were okay with being open about your relationship around them.

As long as no other witnesses are around… which unfortunately wasn’t the case this time. The man’s camera snapped a bit, taking off before any of you could notice.

The next day was absolute hell.

All eyes were on you in the halls of Kamiyama High School. But not the same stares you usually got, no no no. These stares were full of… disgust. Did you do something that didn’t fit their image of you? Everything was normal yesterday, what happened since then?

Whispers grew louder the closer you got to a certain green eyed male. Louder… louder… louder… and louder.

“Was the idol status seriously not enough for them? They just have to have a boyfriend as well?”

“He’s gonna drag their reputation through the mud, just watch..”

“I bet I’m a better match for them.”

“They’re getting too spoiled…”

You kept your head low until you reached the one you were looking for, the only person you wanted to look for.

“We need to talk.” He said, keeping his head low just like you while still trying to look at you.

You followed him to an empty classroom, silently praying in your head this isn’t going to end up with a heart split in half. Dread filled your stomach the longer he took to talk.

He finally broke the silence. “People- no, someone saw us, last night. Took a picture and everything.”

Your eyes went wide with shock. You could have sworn no one was around, no one else but Akito and his teammates. Someone was there that whole time? Or just long enough to get a picture as evidence you and the street singer had a thing?

“And everyone saw it?” You asked.

Akito nodded his head, avoiding eye contact. He felt ashamed of himself. Everything he’s heard today revolved around your reputation- how he’s going to ruin it. Others going as far as to say you’re too good to even be in his presence. He can’t help but wonder now if these things are true.

You however, seem to notice his distress. You gently rubbed his cheek in a reassuring way. If there’s one good thing that’s come out of all this, it’s that you don’t need to be as wary about PDA anymore.

“Whatever happens next, we have each other, yeah?” You say, not needing any response from Akito to know he agrees.

You two give a look of reassurance to each other before walking out the classroom door, hand in hand. The whispers got louder, but neither of you cared. After all, in days time this will all be forgotten about. Hopefully.

For some reason, Akito felt more dread while he held your hand. Your touch was the most comforting thing in the world to him- but he couldn’t help but feel as if someone was plotting something. It was unnerving.

He’s grown used to the whispers, the stares, and even the direct remarks over the past few days. But today felt different. People were eyeing him more than they were eyeing you, and the whispers included his name more than usual.

“Is something wrong, ‘Kito?” You asked, concern written all over your face.

“Not really, just a bit annoyed. Wish these guys would just… shut up. You know?” Of course you knew. You probably knew more than him anyways, dealing with rumors for so many years.

You chuckled softly, distracting you enough for you to not notice a new presence approaching.

The guy looked like he was up to no good. His hands in his pockets and a smug look on his face set alarms off in Akito’s mind immediately. What could he possibly want with you, or him?

You seemed to finally notice him, turning your head and raising a brow. “Can I help you?” You asked with your typical idol facade.

“Actually, you can. You see there’s a party going on at my place tonight, and it’d be great if you came. I already told some people you’d be there with me, so I kinda need you to.”

‘Hell no’ Akito thought. It was wrong enough he told people you’d be there when you lost certainly weren’t, but the nerve to ask just you to this party in front of him? Your boyfriend? He knew what this guy was up to, and he didn’t like it.

“I don’t think I should be at any parties, especially with-“ Akito cut you off.

“They can’t go man, fuck off.” His tone was harsher than normal, emphasizing his point even more.

“Who do you think your telling to fuck off, Shinonome? Surely you don’t think they’re better off spending the evening with you?” The guy’s posture straightened even more, his stance seemingly gettin defensive.

“Actually I do think that. I don’t think they should go to any party of yours, especially without me. So if you’ll excuse us…” Akito tugged your hand, pulling you away from the commotion. It didn’t take a genius to know he was frustrated.

He didn’t care if it was the middle of the school day, you and him were going home. You two could use a break after the week you’ve had.

Quietly opening the front door to avoid alerting Ena, he made his way inside the house alongside you. Throwing off your shoes and hanging his bag, you made your way to the living room.

“I… I heard things about that guy… it took me a bit to realize it was him, but I knew it was as soon as he went on about that party.” Akito sighed and took a breath before continuing. “He messes with other guys by getting close to their partners… I know Someone in my class who’s girl cheated on him with that dude.”

You understood now, he wasn‘r frustrated cause the guy was trying to use you for a party, he was frustrated cause he was trying to take you from him. You took Akito’s hand for the nth time that day, rubbing small circles on the back with your thumb.

“I didn’t have any intentions on going with him, especially without you. I also have no intentions in ever leaving you, for anyone. You got that?” Akito nodded and let his head fall on your shoulder. He wasn’t sure what he was so jealous for, but he felt better now that his mind is clear.

“We had a long week, why don’t we take a nap here?”

“That sounds nice.” Akito replied. Already pulling you down with him on the couch before shutting his eyes. He didn’t seem to care you and guys were still in school uniform, and honestly that seemed to be the last of his concerns.

He couldn’t care less if he was sleeping in his school uniform. As long as you were next to him, it was okay.