#i really have been falling ill tho help

[xvnfixations]

if people ever recognize me i would like to be recognized as that one xvn person who spams xvn but then disappears regularly bc theyre always on the verge of death BUT THEN get a strength booster when there's xvn crumbs and then fall ill again and the cycle repeats /JOKE

[bogkeep]

first week back at school and ahhhhhh everything is a little overwhelming currently

- my living space is full of boxes i have simply not had the energy to unpack at all.... hopefully this weekend (but i have also been invited to a Social Event so WE SHALL SEE)

- this school year is going to have So Much Important Stuff happening inbetween the many weeks of practice placement

- such as The Academic Text

- AND i need to finish the big project i was supposed to have finished ages ago

- our teacher this year speaks swedish with a very thick french accent and i speak norwegian with a dialect, we really struggle to understand one another but maybe hopefully that will change over time.... please...........

- i'm stressed about Stupid Bureaucracy Stuff

- and im so so sleepytired :(((

- and it's too humid and warm for comfort :(((((

AT LEAST I HAVE CUTE SOCKS

purchased in a distraught jetlag haze and subsidized by my travel insurance. they're my favourites now

[phagodyke]

okay is it actually my new meds making me feel shit or is it me choosing to listen to sufjan stevens before 7am on a work day. 😶‍🌫️

[bludraws094]

im still cleaning my room and im realizing just how many dresses i own

which wouldnt be surprising if it werent for the fact that i usually present vaguely masculine/androgynous

[fizzstix]

ive been rlly anxious and sick this week but it is all okay because new porter robinson album releasing this summer will fix any and all of my problems and change me as a person for the better forever

[noxitsnox]

I can’t fall asleep without you

hyun-ju x gn!reader

summary: after disappearing for days, your girlfriend comes back home.

tags: angst, hurt/comfort, transphobia and police incompetence , like one curse word

a/n: studying is for weaks, real alpha men (me) write hyun-ju x readers instead. seriously tho, i fear this might be full of grammatical errors but i'm too tired to proof read and correct them ㅠㅠ

also she didn't win the game, it's as if she and everyone else managed to escape after ep. 7 ‼️‼️

today it was your four year anniversary.

or at least it should have been. it would have been if hyun-ju didn't just disappear into nothingness. you couldn't help but be angry. you saved up for months to afford taking her to a really nice restaurant in the centre, called to make a reservation at the beginning of the year. you would've never guessed that you'd spent this day without her.

when you woke up that morning, the morning she disappeared, you were surprised by hyun-ju not being on bed by yourside. usually she'd wake up with you and you two would have breakfast together before leaving for work. even if it was weird you didn't think anything of it. probably she just left earlier for work, she always tried to do some extra shifts when it was possible. you sent her a 'good morning' text and went on with your day.

when you checked your phone during lunch break hyun-ju had not replied your text yet. hell, she didn't even see it. anger, frustration, worry started to make their way all the way up to your mind. but you forced yourself to calm down and think logically. was it strange that she didn't answer? of course it was, but maybe she just didn't have lunch yet, or her phone was dead or she forgot it in the car. it was strange, sure, but not illegal. it didn't matter, because at the end of the day she'd come back home to you.

or so you thought.

that night she never came home. she didn't answer your texts, she didn't pick up your calls... with all the things you heard on the news, all that violence and hate that was slowly growing in the street you were afraid she was attacked. what if she was hurt? what if she needed you to be by her side?

so you called all the hospital of the cities asking for her. none of their patients had her name or fitted her description.

every possible scenario came into your mind. anxiety, panic, fear didn't allow you to think rationally. you wanted to just storm out of the house and go to the police station. but it was still too early to involve the police. you forced yourself to sleep, you would have reported her missing the next day after work.

for some reason, you really believed that the police would help you. why wouldn't they care about a missing person? you almost forgot hyun-ju and you weren't élite citizen, the ones the police cares about, the ones who deserved to be saved.

you went there stressed and afraid, with a trembling voice you told them that hyun-ju didn't come home in two days, that she's not answering the phone and that she never talked about wanting to just leave. holding your heart in your hands you told them your worries only to be met with laughter and judgement.

the policeman told you with a grin that it was useless to do anything, that she's probably just ran away with some rich old man, after all that's what these people do. he told you you were wrong for trusting one of them, to stop waisting time chasing after her and to start looking for a normal partner.

when you returned home you were furious.

hyun-ju, she wasn't that kind of person. they spoke ill of her without knowing anything. she didn't just leave. she couldn't have done it. if something was wrong in the relationship she would've just talked to you. why wouldn't she?

for the first time since all of this happened, you cried. you sat on the couch on the small living room and observed your surroundings. all of her things were still there, exactly where she left them. her black heels were still by the door from your night out nights ago, on the coffee table was the book she was reading with a bookmark towards the centre, her cardigan gently laying on the back of a chair at the dining table...

you spent the next days in misery. you called in sick at work and stared at the ceiling all day. holding the phone in his hand all the time, anxiously waiting for her name to pop up on the screen. Every time you got a message your hopes would rise, only to vanish completely when you saw your mother's name.

eventually a friend came to check on you. they asked how you were doing, you told them what happened, they said hyun-ju was a bitch, you got angry and screamed at them to leave the house.

after they left, you did felt bad about yelling. after all they were just trying to help you. and they did. you needed to take control back. laying on bed won't make hyun-ju come back.

you quickly sent them a message to apologize before hopping in the shower. you started tidying up the house, cleaning the kitchen and putting away the clothes in that black hole you call a closet. even cooked too much rice for dinner, after four years you weren't used to one person portions anymore.

looking in the mirror you said you were doing this for yourself, but in the back of your mind you knew who you were actually doing this for.

you didn't even notice how tired you were until you sat on the couch to clean up the coffee table. with the rag still in your hand you fell asleep.

you dreamed of summer, warm sun hitting your skin and wet hair. the orange color of the sun's rays reflected on the sea and on your faces. hyun-ju's hair were up in a ponytail, her white t-shirt stuck to her skin and a wide smile was printed on her face.

you remembered this day. it was your first summer together and you managed to rent a small apartment near the beach for a couple of days. you spent those days in your own world made of chattering and laughter.

a sudden noise disturbed the image that had been created, it was external to the dream.

you tried to ignore it but it only got louder and louder until you opened your eyes. with the typical confusion that comes when you've just woken up, it took you a while to realize that someone was knocking at the door.

you looked at the clock on the wall. it was barely 5 in the morning. you cursed under your breath as you walked toward the door. who the hell would knock on someone's door so early in the morning?

looking through the peephole a shiver ran down your spine.

was this still a dream or was it really her?

you opened the door energetically. hyun-ju was actually standing there in front of you. hair in a messy ponytail, she was wearing a green tracksuit stained with blood and dirt and white shoes. she looked shaken, as if she could have started crying at any moment.

you freezed in front of the door, unable to move or say anything. you didn't know what you were supposed to do, how to feel. part of you wanted to be mad, but how could you be mad at her when she looked like that?

you noticed that she was shaking, her arms wrapped around her body trying to gather as much heat as possible. she kept her gaze down, as if she were ashamed to be there, right in front of you.

"hyun-ju...", you finally talked. your voice was a whisper audible only to the two of you. you moved to let her pass through the door. "it's cold. come inside." she didn't say anything. the more you looked at her the more she looked like a ghost of herself.

neither of you sat down. you were standing in front of each other in silence. minutes that seemed like hours passed before she spoke. she told you she was gonna shower, change into clean clothes before leaving you alone in the living room.

when she got out of the bathroom she looked more like herself. she sat at the kitchen table and you put a cup of the tea you made while waiting in front of her before taking a seat next to her.

"y/n-" "where have you been?" you interrupted her, sounding harsher that intended. she shook her head, "it's not important right now... you wouldn't believe me anyway." "it's not important, hyun-ju? you're telling me it's not important, seriously-" this time she was the one who interrupted you, rising her voice to match yours. "y/n c'mon i just came back i don't feel like fighting."

you got up from the table, walked a few step away to calm down. part of you recognized that this wasn't the best way to have this conversation, but you couldn't hold back any longer, all the emotions that had accumulated in your heart these days took over.

"i can't believe you. you were gone! for days you disappeared from earth, you wouldn't even answer your phone and when came back your clothes were covered in blood!"

she sighed but didn't say anything so you continued.

"do you know how worried i was? i called very hospital, i even went to the police but you were nowhere to be found. i thought you were dead, hyun-ju... dead!" without realizing it you started crying.

there was silence before she spoke. "y/n i'm sorry, i'm really really sorry", she got up and walked closer to you, wrapping her arms around you. "i didn't think i'd be gone for this long. but i'm here now, i won't go anywhere." from her voice you could say she was crying too. "i'll tell you what happened, but tonight please let me just forget about it."

you broke the hug to look up in her eyes. "do you promise you'll tell me everything?" "i do, i promise."

[ribread03]

tummy problems

Content Warnings: mentions of throwing up, Talk of being/going to the hospital and or emergency room. Probably fluff to.

AN: This holds a place in my life due to the fact that I have a chronic illness that deals with my stomach #chronicilless so yeah. I think this is really cute and I hope this all make sense to other people.

lowkey got lazy at the end [the whole thing bc I'm in a block rn] but yeah, I just wanted to get something out, I have some good ideas in my head but request are always appreciated.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Baby" I say whining slightly. I am currently curled up into a ball on mine and Matt's bed. Trying to fight off this god awful pain in my abdomen.

"What's up with my love?" Matt ask, concerned that you haven't taken any pain meds yet. You have refused to take any knowing that they wouldn't do anything for your pain. "What can I get for you?"

"Can you get me the heating pad and just come and cuddle?" You ask looking at him.

"Of course baby" Matt answers you, giving you a quick peck on the lips before leaving to go and grab what you asked for.

"Thank you" You speak softly. You know that you're not really "sick". You've been dealing with the same pain since the 4th grade and now you're almost 20 years old. You know that it will go away after a week or so, so you just push through the pain trying to make the best of it.

Matt comes back into the room and kneels down next to you to plug the heating pad in. "Here you go" He says with a soft smile. He walks over to his side of the bed and lays down next to you.

"I love you so much" You tell him. You've been friends with the triplets since your freshmen year of high school. They are the only people that have really stuck by your side through all of your medical experiences. Being truly grateful for them.

"I love you to y/n" He kisses you cheek. "Wanna watch a movie? It might help you distract your mind"

"Yeah" You grab the remote next to you and turn the TV on. Moving closer to Matt to snuggle into his warm body. Slowly you are finally falling asleep when all of the sudden you have this horrid pain wash over you causing you to move uncomfortably which Matt notices.

"y/n? babe, come on talk to me..." He pauses for a moment. "What can I do to help you?" He asks concern laced in his voice. "Pain med, food, water, a bath?"

Coming to your defeat you finally decide to take some pain meds "get me the ones my doctor gave me please, they will help the most." You speak so softly afraid if you talk too loudly you'll experience more pain.

"Of course my love." Matt says as he gets off of the bed and heads out into the hall to grab your meds.

Matt comes back into the room with the pain meds, but you are up and out of bed rushing towards the bathroom. As soon as you step foot into the bathroom everything that you ate in the last 12 hours comes out of you. You feel Matt behind you gently rubbing your back.

"sweetheart this is normal, do you want to go to the emergency room?" Matt ask. He knows that you hate it there knowing there isn't much they can do for you, but will go if you need more then what you have at home.

Whipping your mouth and standing up you nod your head yes. Walking back into the room you grab your phone, water, and a phone charger as well as a hoodie. "I didn't think it would be this bad." You say defeated.

"I know sweetie. It's okay tho I'm here." Matt says grabbing the sweatshirt from you and heading to the car.

Once in the car and on the way to the emergency room you start to relax a bit, knowing what's going to happen once there.

~~

(I'm skipping the whole time they are in the emergency room bc I think it would be boring)

~~

"Ready to go" Matt says yawning. We've been in the emergency room for 6 hours now.

"Mmh" I say as I cling onto him. "I'm ready to sleep to."

"Same here." We are walking back out to the car now hand in hand.

On the ride home we stop and grab a snack at the gas station. Once we are home I head straight for the bed room flopping onto the bed and opening my arms for Matt to come and lay with me. Matt climbs into bed and wraps his arms around me peppering my face with kisses.

"Thank you babe." You tell him, really great full he took you to the emergency room and got you some better pain medicine.

"Anytime, you know that all I want for you is to feel better." He speaks, still holding you and lightly kissing you.

"Still, thank you for everything and for sticking it out with me." You say, now kissing his face. Ending up falling asleep in that same position.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

an: hoped you guys liked this even if I feel like its a little poopy and short but oh well. BYE LOVE YOU!

[tinum]

Memento Vivere - Harumasa x Reader (Angst)

Summary: Harumasa's death and everything that comes after it. Warnings: CHARACTER DEATH, possible errors, maybe ooc Word Count: 1.6k Notes: the plot hole is actually filled with hidden lore about the reader guys! It's totally intentional, trust me! Thanks to the anon who requested!! ill work on it ASAP <3 okay, i think i did pretty good on this one but i really struggled with the ending tho. Let me know what you think.

The beginning. To every start, there must be an end. No matter how gently you stretch a rubber band, it is bound to break. What can not be cured must be endured, and what is endured succumbs with you.

Harumasa lays in your arms, his own body giving in to the weakness he had been born with. Tiny crystals have begun their spread across his cheek. Slowly sleeping below the skin, splitting muscle and replacing it with a mineral you hope you'd never seen him wear.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." You repeat like a mantra. It was you who had gotten him into this mess. If you had not insisted on him accompanying you, He would have been back at the office, slacking off as he deserved. "It's all my fault. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Hey now, you didn't know this would happen." His voice was gravelly as if the corruption had already made its way to his throat, permeating his voice box.

Behind you, your bangboo's buzzing circuits shoot out sparks as it twitches helplessly on the concrete. It repeats the same dialogue over and over. The echoing fills you with insurmountable rage, and each discordant repeat of your failure fills you with a burning desire to smash it into pieces.

You stumble over your words, scanning your surroundings. "We have to get out of here. Maybe there's a chance-"

Harumasa cuts you off, gently squeezing your hand. "I think we missed that boat a long time ago." A brutal cough overtakes his words, leaving nothing but grits of dust.

"Stop it." You spoke gravely. "Stop talking like that!" You didn't mean to raise your voice. Comforting him is what you should be doing, not yelling as if he is in the wrong.

Harumasa couldn't help but chuckle. He had always admired your tenacity, even if you were lying to yourself.

"Hey.. remember what I asked from you?" His eyes reach yours, the brilliant gold now a cold yellow. You nod sullenly; tears cloud your vision.

"That's good." Harumasa looked down at his legs; crystals had already formed around their length. "It seems like I have nothing to worry about, then."

You held him for a few moments, your breaths fluctuating as you struggled to hold on to your sobs. You aren't sure what you're waiting for. The end was inevitable; once corruption took root, it would only spread.

"C'mon.. you promised. You wouldn't go back on a promise, would you?" He rested his head on your shoulder, unable to hold the weight alone. He reaches for your thigh, pulling out the dagger from its sheath.

The bough finally breaks, and sorrowful tears shove themselves past your waterline. "I can't.."

"Please." He begs. You were being selfish; you knew you were. Stretching a few moments with him while he was suffering an insoluble torment.

He places the dagger in your palm, folding your fingers over it. Guiding the dagger to his chest, he whispers, "please."

The crack of rocks becomes more apparent as it travels up from his legs at an alarming speed. No longer could you delay your parting. It was a matter of seconds now.

Oh, how you wish you had more time—more time to spend doing the things he loves and more time with him.

The cool steel punctures through his breast. Penetrating faster than corruption could leech. In your arms, he ceases his breathing. The hand, cradling his killer, falls to his side, never to rise again.

-----

The world was cruel to those who can't acclimate. A goodbye will only fall deaf to those who refuse to listen. It will always loom even if they ignore what happened, waiting for the day they let their guard down.

When you return to work a few weeks later, you expect to see him sitting at his desk, his head resting gently on the piles of paperwork he has yet to do. You know it's impossible, but you can't shake the routine you have grown to love.

Once you are seated at your new desk, one far from his, a voice gently calls out your name.

"I think it's best if we talk-"

"Don't." You don't bother turning around; you don't want to see them.

"Please, just give it a chance. It would be beneficial to us all if we had a moment to talk about him."

"I said don't. I don't want to talk about this, okay?" She noticed how you tiptoed around the subject, too afraid to speak his name.

"I won't force you," she pauses, unsure if she should speak. But I think he would want you to attend his funeral." She gently places a card on your desk—a funeral.

You wouldn't. You had too much work to do.

-----

It comes in waves. A sheet of weight that crushes you, you can fight against the tide till it recedes, but it always comes back. Violently.

He should have never gone with you. It was his fault. It's his fault for coming. It's his fault for being sick. That's what you keep telling yourself over and over till you are choking on your guilt.

When you are not blaming him, he comes in your dreams. He haunts your safe haven, removing the white and painting it red. His figure is tainted with corruption, and his eyes are a different shade than you remember. He laughs, and he jeers, mocking your own failure to protect.

You were weak. Weak in battle and weak against him. Everything he says rings true, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise.

-----

Wishing for a different outcome. If you were given the chance to reverse time, what would you do differently?

Sometimes, you ponder if you could have done something to prevent this from happening. If you had told him no that morning, would he be laughing with you today? How about if you took a different route in the hallow? Would he have safely made it out? You have repeatedly run through all the possibilities in your mind, looking for a new path to alter.

If you had one wish, it would be to see into the future. You would make sure you would never make the same mistake. You'd protect him this time.

You smile fondly at your fantasy.

-----

The world is bleak, but it's worse without them. The battle against the tide has been lost. You let the water submerge you.

You haven't been to work in almost a month. Getting out of bed was already daunting, but seeing his desk was more so. Even the thought would cause tears to well up in your eyes. You didn't want to cry anymore, but you didn't know how to stop.

Once you had reluctantly drifted to sleep, he spoke. It was soft and tender, a strong contrast to his previous visits. His eyes were that familiar shade of sunset you had remembered. His flesh had broken through the corruption, no longer tainted with pain. It was truly him.

"Don't be so hard on yourself. You're stronger than this."

"Harumasa!" you call out, reaching for him, hoping to feel his warmth, but your hand passes through.

"Hah, that doesn't work, I already tried."

"Is it really you?" you whisper, your illusionary hand caressing as close to his face as you can. Your eyes snap to his features, his eyes, his nose, and his hair, painting a memory. "I miss you so much."

His hand hovers over yours; there is no sensation of touch, but something else overwhelms you—a warmth so beautifully him.

"I miss you too." He eyed gaze upon you as if you hung the sun itself, and you couldn't help but do the same.

When you can't handle his stare any longer, you pull him into a hug to the best of your abilities. For a moment, you feel like he's real again.

But as the way of all things, it must come to an end. Just as quick as the warmth came, it began to disappear. His figure slowly blended in with the backdrop of your dreamland.

"No-!" You stumble towards him, but he is already gone.

"Don't rush. I'll see you when you get here, kay?"

You woke up with a gasp. The room was grey, except for a single ray of light shining through the crack of your curtain.

Perhaps you would get out of bed today.

-----

It is never truly gone, just bearable. A wound so deep can heal, but a scar will always remain.

The dream where he spoke so tenderly was his last visit. He never returned, no matter how often you tried to recreate that day. The wounds have healed, but they left their mark. The world may have gone on without him, but yours had stopped the day he passed. You weren't sure if it would ever spin again, but you'd be damned if you didn't try.

Returning to work after your final meeting was daunting, but his words cleared the clouds in your mind, allowing you to see clearly for the first time. If you had just pulled the curtain, you'd realize the light had been shining there all along.

The members of section 6 were your light. They carried the burden of loss just like you did. They cried and screamed for a second chance, just as you. Allowing them in was allowing yourself to heal. You deserved that much.

So, you will allow yourself to heal. Day by day, you will carry on your work, fighting for everything he believed in, just like he would for you.

[ynnxbun]

arcane life series au:

ok so i got a super good au idea; combining my 2 fandoms that have been rotating in my brain to fuel myself </3

arcane au with all the lifers coming from either topside or the undercity, shimmer and hextech are still present in the storyline tho (note this will be it’s own universe so not all plot points will be included in this au nor will lifers be placeholders for the arcane characters tho there will some parallels!)

NOW ON TO CHARACTERS: ( this will NOT represent their personality in the story, more of their role in the au)

Vi: Grian (main character duh)

Jinx: Joel (get it cuz their names both start with J?? haha.. ok ill shut up)

Caitlyn: Mumbo (he gives me goody goody vibes so…)

Ekko: Etho/echo (found it funny lol)

Jimmy: ???

Lizzie: ??? (their both important)

viktor: Martyn

Jayce: Ren (treebark fans are in for a wild ride..)

Mel: Gem

Ambessa: Cleo

Slico/Sky: Scott (u’ll see why soon)

sevika: Pearl

Scar: BDubs (you would think Scar would be scar tho hehee)

Tango: ???

Scar: ???

Singed: Bigb (his important)

impulse: ???

Skizz: ???

Ok now we can go onto factions!! ill be breaking them into people from undercity and topside and then into their respective grps(lifers who do not fall into any category will be put in others

UNDERCITY/THE CITY OF ZAUN:

Etho/Echo, Bdubs, Tango, Scar.. (Firelights, Etho is the leader with bdubs as his lieutenant)

Impulse and Skizz (Impskizz bandits)

Joel/Jinx (wanted criminal in piltover, beloved in the undercity)

Scott and pearl (run the city of zaun)

Grian (was in jail for 7 years, got bailed out by mumbo, joel/jinx and jimmy are his siblings)

BigB (genius madman, runs the shimmer production, on good terms with pearl)

Jimmy (….?)

Lizzie/shadow lady (……….)

TOPSIDE/PILTOVER:

Ren and Martyn (the inventors of hextech/treebark, they were engaged for a short period of time..)

Mumbo (also an inventor, created many machines and also helped a bit with the management of piltover, great with guns)

Gem (a council member, recently became a mage and has been trying to master it, was one of the few people to have faith in hextech)

OTHERS:

Cleo (a warrior, led many wars in their prime years, they are gem’s guardian)

This au has been all ive been thinking about and i just really want to share my thoughts on it and hear yours! I will make some Fanart of this au that’s certain tho it will take some time as im revising for a test coming up lol. Let me know your thoughts! and questions on this au are very welcomed so please send them in my askbox <33

[squash1]

something i’ve been thinking about a lot lately is the way that language in the dreamer trilogy & the raven cycle is a barrier to forming connection/community.

in the raven cycle we see a distinct lack of specific terms used between ronan and kavinsky. the word “dreamer” is not even used directly — instead the two of them talk conceptually about the dreaming process, about their respective “special places” (ronan’s being cabeswater), and how the dreaming “juice” runs out (but again, the terms “ley line” or “energy” are not used). there is a clear recognition of “sameness” or shared experiences between the boys, with kavinsky specifically saying he “knows what ronan is” (tho whether he’s referring to dreaming or ronan’s sexuality is up for debate i suppose).

this is really the first time ronan is connecting with a dreamer outside of his family. and his family, of course, has their own terms and language for dreaming. there is a barrier in the discussions ronan and kavinsky are having because of a lack of shared language. so much of what they experience as dreamers is isolated in the individual, so they are forced to talk around concepts because they don’t have universal terminology to fall back on.

i’ve talked extensively about how dreaming is a representation of chronic illness in the dreamer trilogy so i won’t go too far down that rabbit hole. But. something that is talked about within the disability/chronic illness community (and beyond) is the way that individuals can struggle to connect with people that have the same condition/similar experiences as them because of a lack of shared terminology to discuss abstract or hyper-specific concepts/feelings.

we see this in the raven cycle with kavinsky and ronan, and then we start to see it even more in the dreamer trilogy as ronan continues to find belonging and community with other dreamers. ronan and hennessy’s friendship requires them to bridge the language gap. though they both live as dreamers, because of their different experiences throughout their lives, they use different terminology to make meaning of their situation.

in knowing to one another, ronan and hennessy are exposing each other to new, shareable language. ronan shares his term for “nightwash,” and hennessy shares her term for “the lace.” both of them adapt to using this new language for a shared conceptual experience and in doing so are able to connect more fully with one another. in the raven king, i believe it is quite possible that ronan and adam had encountered the lace — a dark entity that whispered their worst fears to them — but did not have the term yet to describe it. obviously, terminology does not outweigh experience, but it is an important element of forming community through shared experience.

there’s also the way that the moderators use the term “zed” instead of “dreamer” — at first it is unclear what zeds even are because as the reader we have only ever had the language provided by ronan. in this experience of coming to realize that “zeds” are equivalent to “dreamers,” we as the reader experience the same sort of dissonance that dreamers themselves experience when trying to connect with one another without universal/shared language.

for ronan specifically, in both trc and tdt, there’s always an element of translation. in the dreaming world, his dreams speak in either latin or a dream language that doesn’t exist in the waking world. in his dreams ronan understands the dream language, but outside of them he can’t. ronan working so hard to learn latin is intentional — by understanding it in and outside of his dreams, he can bridge a language gap for himself; can understand his waking world AND his dreaming world at once. he studies it like his life depends on it because. it. does. the puzzle box is also helpful to ronan because it makes something that is unreal in the waking world, real — it is confirmation of the validity of that language. whether you’re thinking of dreaming as a metaphor for chronic illness, mental illness, or some other identity, the point is about the feeling of otherness, of inability. ronan only feels strange & lost & like he doesn’t know what the hell he is outside of his dreams where no one else understands his language. where he is confronted by being unable to speak to what he lives in his head.

in conclusion:

ronan lynch i love you.

[fairyhaos]

. ˚ maybe... a little bit sick?

requested by anon: "Hii can i Pls request taking care of Junhui when he’s sick (like maybe he has the stomach flu or smthn) and calls you to come over and be there with him"

pairing: junhui x gn!reader

genre: fluff, established relationship, sick fic, junhui is an adorable baby

word count: 1607

warnings: pet names (baby, love), junhui exaggerates his cold by saying he's "dying", mentions of burning up (not literally tho)

notes: this is really cute actually. i think i love writing for silly soft jun a lot <3

Junhui is not a person that falls ill. 

It's just not something he does. He's proud to admit that he's probably fallen ill a maximum of ten times in his entire life, and his immune system is so good that it could probably enter a competition against other immune systems and come out on top. The immune system olympics, if you will. 

But the main point is, Junhui doesn't get sick. He doesn't get hay fever, doesn't catch colds all that easily, could probably go out in the winter without a coat and still be fine the next day (albeit with a mild loss of feeling in his nose). 

Right now, though, as Junhui rubs his nose and tries to stop his eyes from constantly watering, he thinks that perhaps, perhaps, he could be coming down with something. 

It's a horrible thought. Unthinkable, in fact. Besides, it's the middle of summer! Who falls ill in July? 

"Y/N?" Junhui croaks, and then blinks, startled by the sound of his own voice. "Y/N?"

He has to stop, then, because his throat feels like sandpaper. Plus, one of his nostrils is running, and the other feels so blocked up that it's like it was replaced with an impenetrable brick or something. 

He's not sick, though. Junhui doesn't get sick. 

The sun is filtering brightly through the curtains, and he guesses that it's late morning by now. He hasn't been able to get out of bed since he woke up some hours ago, his head throbbing and protesting with every move he makes. He hasn't even been able to check his phone. 

Junhui coughs, then, a wet, uncomfortable cough that makes his body shudder and his brain rattle around uncomfortably in his skull. He sniffs, a little pathetically, and squeezes his eyes shut. Everything hurts. 

But he's definitely not sick. 

"Y/N…" he mutters, his hair feeling sticky on his forehead, his tongue cumbersome and rubbery in his mouth. Vaguely, he remembers that you're going out with friends this morning, and won't be back for a while. The very thought makes him whine internally, upset. 

Okay. 

Maybe he is a little sick. 

Centuries pass as he lies there in bed, admitting defeat, admitting that he really is sick for once and that being sick is horrible and all he wants is for you to come help him. Why are you taking so long to have brunch with your friends, damnit? 

He's drifting off into a hazy sleep once again, his entire body feeling like it's on fire when the front door finally, finally clicks open and he hears your voice. 

"Junhui?" you call, taking off your shoes. "Junhui, baby, are you up yet?"

It's around one in the afternoon when you've finally managed to come back home after meeting up with your friends, and normally your boyfriend would be bounding towards you and engulfing you in a hug, eager to hear how your outing had been. But the apartment is, oddly, silent, and there's no sign of a hyperactive Junhui anywhere. 

"Junhui?" you call again. 

And that's when you hear his voice, coming from his closed bedroom door. 

"Y/N… in here…"

He sounds weak, like he's on the verge of dying, and you gasp when you open the door and look at him. 

"Oh, darling!" You walk over to his bedside to place a hand on his forehead, sighing when he whimpers softly at the cool sensation on his burning skin. "Look at you, you have such a horrible fever. Wait here, I'll go get a cold towel," you say, and then hurriedly leave the room again. 

Junhui coughs pathetically again. "I can't really go anywhere… but okay."

You come back in a few seconds later, equipped with a cold compress, medicine and a glass of water. The kettle whistles in the distance. 

"How did this happen?" you scold lightly, sitting on the edge of the bed, placing a hand worriedly over his forehead again. "How did you manage to get yourself so ill?"

Junhui opens his mouth to speak, but you shake your head. 

"Wait, don't answer that. You probably have a really bad headache right? Talking will make it worse." 

He closes his mouth again. 

"Poor Junhui," you murmur, wiping down his face and his sweat with a damp cloth. "It must really hurt, right?"

Junhui nods sadly, eyes half closed, as you put the cold towel over his forehead. "Hurts so much. I feel like I'm dying."

You laugh softly. "I can imagine. Can you sit up for me, baby? You need to take some medicine."

"No." He turns his head away when you offer him the pills and the glass of water, accidentally dislodging the towel from his head. "Don't wanna."

"Junhui, come on, it'll help," you wheedle softly, trying to encourage him. "You don't want it to hurt, do you? This'll help make it better, I promise."

"I can't," he whines, looking at you, and now there are tears pooling in his eyes. He coughs, then, so hard that the tears well up faster and end up spilling over slightly. Then he groans, head thumping, while you lean over to gently wipe his tears. "Everything hurts. I don't like it."

"Junhui, please?"

"No."

"Junhui, baby, it'll make everything feel a lot better."

"No."

"Junhui…"

Junhui, when he falls ill, becomes a little like a toddler. He doesn't get sick often, so when he does he always suffers terribly. He ends up throwing mini tantrums, pouting and resisting taking the medicine that will make him better purely because he doesn't want to. 

You may not have had to deal with a sick Junhui often, but really, it's about the same as dealing with a small child, so it's not that difficult. 

Several more minutes of wheedling later, you manage to get Junhui to sit up and drink the water along with his medicine. He ends up spilling half the glass all over himself and whines, looking at you with glassy eyes as if wanting you to tell him what to do. 

"Don't worry, it's just water," you tell him, stroking back his hair and adjusting the towel on his forehead to make sure it's in place. "Wanna have something nice to drink?"

In the kitchen, the kettle is beeping, signalling that it's finished boiling water. Junhui rapidly shakes his head, though, before wincing at the movement. 

"No. Don't wanna drink anything."

"Are you sure?" You tuck a damp curl of hair out of his face, noting that he's still sweating. He's really ill, the poor thing. "Have you eaten today?"

"Don't wanna eat anything."

"You've lost your appetite?" you ask worriedly. "What if I ask Minghao to come over and help make you some wonton soup? Would you like that?"

Junhui squeezes his eyes, once, and then coughs again. "No."

"I'll call him anyway," you say, getting up. "And I already boiled the water, so I'll make you some tea for your throat as well, okay? I bet you have a sore throat too."

He blinks, eyes a little glassy and confused. "Wait… how did you know?"

You chuckle softly, leaning over to pinch his cheek lightly. "Magic. Rest now, alright? You should try to sleep, let your body recover."

You back out of the room, watching his weak frame as he lies in his dim room, the curtains still drawn, eyes watery and half-open and a wet towel over his forehead. He looks so sad and forlorn, like a dejected kitten, and it would make you coo if a bigger part of you wasn't worried at just how ill he looked. 

You're just closing the door when he croaks out your name again, thin and warbly.

"Y/N?"

Pausing for a moment, you open the door again, poking your head in. "Yes, baby?"

He looks at you for a long moment, squinting out of puffy eyes, before giving you a small smile and lifting his arms. "Hug?"

Obviously, you really oughtn't. He's sick, after all, horribly so, and it would be much better for both of you if you stayed away. But his hair is all messed up and his cheeks are all flushed from his fever and he just looks so small swathed in all his blankets and really, how were you meant to refuse? 

He's warm, as he always is, and maybe he's a little warmer than usual but you let him hug you tightly, his head tucked under your chin, fingers gripping your shoulders while you bend over him and thread a hand through his hair. Junhui hums, pleased, when you lightly knead your fingers into his scalp, making little rumbly noises of contentment when your hand slips down his back, rubbing firm circles into his shirt. 

"Love you," he mumbles, his words a little drowsy but still soft and warm. 

You smile, kissing the top of his head. "I love you too."

There's silence for a moment as he continues to cling to you while you kneel awkwardly on the bed, one knee on the mattress while your other foot supports your weight from the floor. And then Junhui speaks up again. 

"Y/N?"

"Yes, Junhui?"

"Instead of wonton soup, could you make me hotpot? A really spicy one?"

That makes you smile a little, endeared, and kiss his head again. His forehead is unnaturally warm still, and you disentangle him from your arms to rest him down on his pillow again, feeling vaguely like a prince lowering his princess to sleep. 

You brush gentle fingers over his cheek, fond. "Of course. Anything to make my kitten feel better."

fics tags: @jeonginssa @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @bunnyiix @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @moonlitskiiies @mirxzii @zozojella @kawennote09 @thedensworld @a-wandering-stay @abibliolife @doublasting @wonranghaeee @icyminghao @sweet-like-caramel @your-yxnnie @evasaysstuff @odxrilove @kyeomyun @crackedpumpkin @jeonride

[cemetarywoman]

Could u write about ville valo or Johnny Knoxville with them having a crush on a goth reader or something like that please :)

Ill do both cuz I couldn’t decide who I wanted to do more😚

Crushing on goth!reader headcanons

Johnny Knoxville

Now I KNOW that man would absolutely love a goth baddie🤞

He thinks you are the coolest person ever and hes not afraid to tell you that

he thinks your makeup is soo cool and he would let you do his makeup if you wanted to

If you dye your hair he would volunteer to help you out, he would actually do a really good job (he said that hes been dying his hair since his twenties so he knows what hes doing)

Johnnys definitely not afraid to flirt with you, but you do make him nervous when you actually flirt back

After a few seconds of stuttering and nervous giggling he’ll just smirk and continue flirting

He lets you pick the music every time you ride in the car together, he wants to know all of your favorite songs and bands so that he can randomly bring them up to impress you

If ANYONE makes fun of your style he immediately starts spit roasting them because no way in hell will he let that shit slide

Ville Valo

Now you guys would make the hottest pair ever

You and Ville probably have very similar music taste and he absolutely loves that

He thinks that you are absolutely perfect and he loveeeees to tell you that even if you aren’t together

You always get VIP tickets to his shows

Ville likes to paint so I could totally see him secretly painting you

Nobody knows gothic romance like Ville so he knows exactly how to make you swoon (even tho it definitely wouldn’t take much to make you fall for him)

He can and will do your makeup for you if you let him, he likes to watch you when you get ready so he studied your makeup style

Your style never fails to impress him

He absolutely loves seeing you in pretty, elegant goth clothes like long dresses/skirts and big boots

[hearts4kaulitz]

2005 / YOUNGER BILL KAULITZ HCSbill

bill kaulitz x gn! reader

you and him definitely go to see movies together no doubt

like you’ll be sitting in ur room at night and youd get a call from him asking if you could sneak out so yall could watch the newest movies (— sometimes he brings tom)

if you try and brush his hair he will like fall cause theres so much gel in it.

its really funny but takes FOREVER to get out.

if hes frustrated enough he’ll ask you to help him wash it out. (— in a sink weirdo)

y’all probably have karaoke nights like you two are singing ur hearts out to some song

tom and the rest of the band doesn’t appreciate it, you two have DEFINITELY gotten a noise complaint more than once.

he would also paint your nails alot

if you have a problem with biting your nails he’d try and keep you distracted by doing anything.

“ YN! YN! look what i made! ” and he’d show you the most basic drawing ever. he really wouldn’t even try on it but its the thought that counts

if you dont know german he would teach you some.

bill could sit there for HOURS just teaching you words and sentences.

he would be so proud of you

sometimes he just walks by you and says something like “guten morgen” just to see if you remembered and if you did he would pretend he didnt care but its so obvious hes all giddy cause he taught u something

if tom has a girl over or is like talking to one on the phone you two would pretend to be the girl and tom right infront of his face so he’d get flustered

yall would laugh your ASSES off if he started to stutter.

you two have sleepovers anytime you can. if hes not at your house, your at his. theres no in between and no going back

if he did like you he would definitely ask you to sleep over more often and ask you to watch movies with him. anything really

if you were to fall asleep first he would move next to you just so he could play with your hair or just hold you close

in the mornings he pretends like he has NO idea why yall are like that even though it was literally his idea.

also he does ur makeup alot.

like you would be laying on the couch with ur head turned in his direction with his hands cupping ur face so he can get better angles and whatever.

you can tell he just likes to hold your face though.

younger bill seemed like sucha cutie patootie im crying omg

OMG I DISAPPEARED AGAIN.

im so sorry i’ll probably write a fanfic based on one of these hcs tho 😭😭

im so sorry ill try and be better at posting ive just been having HORRIBLE writers block

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for debating hiring outside help for my husband and I's house because we can't keep up alone?

For context: My (26 Fae ftm) husband (28M) live very happy and healthily together. While I'm unable to medically transition due to a bunch of reasons we'll get to, he has been nothing but a solid rock in my life and the one person that has always been on my side. Through dragging me out of an abusive household to helping me with my chronic illness, he's been an absolute angel despite dressing like the devil himself (he's goth). So I don't want any hate on him.

He is ADHD and I'm Autistic. Yes, hello, we are that couple~♡ This does cause us some issues tho as he is unmedicated and I'm just struggling in general with sensory issues for certain chores. So far we keep each other some what afloat, having him do chores that my sensory issues can't handle and my doing ones he can't focus through.

However, as previously mentioned I'm chronically ill. I won't get into many details but it's basically I'm internally bleeding at random intervals. And before people think I'm talking about just my period, no it's so bad that I have once had to go to the ER for a blood transfusion due to this internal bleeding and had times when I was bleeding for over 4 months straight.

My husband and I because of this condition are pretty much struggling financially. I can work but it makes me extremely fatigued since I'm essentially working with constant Anemia. It gets bad enough some days that he can't wake me up without over an hour of effort, even after I've slept 10hrs. The fatigue is REALLY bad. He works just as much as I do, sometimes more because his work is so shortstaffed and he likes to pick up extra shifts to try and save up for the surgery that would hopefully fix everything.

This has culminated though in us both being extremely exhausted near 24/7 for the last year-ish but we have finally hit a break. I recently got a huge pay increase (nearly $200 a week increase) so we are hopeful for the first time in months. We're starting to pay down my extreme medical debt and being able to just go get dinner when he doesn't want to cook.

Here's where I may be kind of TA... Despite this hope, my condition recently did get worse. I've now gone another 3 months still bleeding and having to suffer my Anemia symptoms and medication. This has caused me to fall massively behind on what should be my chores, and while my husband doesn't begrudge me it, it has caused our home to start becoming very, very unhygienic. As someone who grew up with a clean freak mother, it kinda upsets me. He's focusing more and more on me and less on the house so even his chores are falling behind too.

None of that is his fault. He loves me so much he wants to help Me first but it has gotten to where we are both going "we really need to clean the house..." but neither of us have enough battery to do so. Me becuz of my condition and he becuz he's stuck caring for me.

We have enough that we might be able to afford to hire a cleaning service to help us out, but it would cost us some of the freedom and paying down medical bills. I think it'd only be a temporary thing, once I recover from my current episode, we can probably get better... but I don't know how long it will be.

On top of this I'm worried paying for this service will further put off my surgery as we struggle to save up for it again... We've already had to tap into that savings cuz my current episode lost me 2 days at work.

Is it unfair for me to ask to use our new extra money for essentially my not wanting to have to bother doing basic chores? I know I'm tired but I've lived with it so long I could and should probably just push through.

What are these acronyms?

[silly-little-soul]

SDV Highschool AU

A/N - in celebration of my graduation today!!

Very rushed and not formatted properly cause I’m at prom rn and writing this on my phone I’ll fix it later but like i wanted to post sth for the occassion

-

Summary: sdv highschool au, the ones under the +++ are x reader

Characters: Harvey, Shane, Elliot, Haley (cause theyre my favs to write for)

Warnings: drug mention

~~~~~~~~~~~

HARVEY

- Big nerd

- He’s planning to study medicine so of course he puts accordingly much effort

- Awkward as fuck icl

- Everyone lowkey loves him cause he’s always really helpful

- Aka almost the entire class just copies his homework

- Lives off coffee in every life and scenario

- (One of the) best in class and beloved by the teachers but not annoying about it

- If y’all wanna act like there wasn’t any homework in front of the teacher cause no one did it (except him ofc bcs NERD) he’ll totally play along

- Which is probably why the whole reason it worked

- Some ppl def have a crush on him

- But he’s just so awkward and oblivious… I love him

- Also not rlly into the kind of dating that’s most common among teens? Does that make sense??

+++

- So for you, let’s say you’ve been his friend since forever, best friends perhaps

- He’s had a crush on you so long but has like no idea how to go about it

- And you think he’s not interested cause he has friendzoned you so hard multiple times before

- It was a panic reaction don’t blame him

- I can picture you coming together at sone school dance and it’s like really cliche

- I’ll make these longer later I’m sorry

-

SHANE

- stoner

- Like sorry but

- Maybe it’s my Connor Murphy obsession or maybe I’m right

- I’m basing this v much on mentally ill Shane ik that backstory only semi much works with a highschool setting but we dont rlly know abt pre mental illness shane so

- Generally not bad at school he just has intense down phases where he completely falls behind (relatable)

- Works at some fast food chain and hates it but yk money is money

- No one ever shows up for parent teacher talks bcs he doesnt want the school to know about his family and his family about school yk

- Quiet most of the time

- Mean when talked to

+++

- But also like he doesn’t rlly mean it with some people you just gotta po ker if he does for you and talk to him

- Good news: you’re very much an exception

- Phew

- I’m thinking forced project or something

- No actually I’m thinking one of you is the others dealer

- Probs starting as a kinda fwb thing that becomes serious

- There’s sm potential here icl

- I’m gonna rewrite all of this next week and get more into it

-

ELLIOT

- The weirdest kid in the grade but beloved by all

- Writes a lot, probably started a club that’s related to that somehow

- Wins a lot of those lil writing competitions schools do

- A romantic, hands out flowers or something to people on Valentine’s

- Like super mysterious and no one can tell if he does it on purpose or if it just kinda is like that

- Def has some ppl crushing on him

- Has been ppls secret admirer before

- Except it’s not rlly secret bcs who else would do allat

+++

- So when he falls for you it’s like that too

- You get mysterious letters and flowers from an admirer

- Except it’s not mysterious bcs Elliot everyone knows no one else does that!!!

- You pretend not to realize a while tho cause it’s sweet

- And then after a but you just give him a secret admirer letter back

- Even if it’s not quite as poetic as his

- He appreciates it sm cause it’s so rare people match his energy

- You’re couple goals but also lowkey make ppl sick with all your sap

-

HALEY

- Pretty popular

- She’s very confident and can be a bit brash so you might get the idea she’s a typical mean girl but she’s actually pretty sweet

- Especially with the girls

- You might get a comment about your messy makeup but best believe she’s fixing it up for you

- Girl in trouble? She’s right there without hesitation

- Has told so many of the guys off before for harassing girls or not taking a hint

- She’s a guardian angle ngl

- A whole bunch of people having a crush on her and it’s getting kinda rough

- If the person is respectful she’s really nice in rejecting them (or at least tries), she was mean about it like once and felt so bad after

- She knows she comes off as pretty harsh and it’s not always intentional yk

+++

- You probably meet through extra activities i forgot the name

- She gets a crush p quickly but like y’all wait till you rlly know you work as a duo before you dare ask her out

- Like you wanna have sth behind your question and what you say yk

- Okay i gotta stop writing but !!!!!! will fix this up and write more next week

- Also send requests or fandom talk please and thank you

[brattyfork]

i win

summary: you win the game

warnings: smut duh, mommy kink, nothin crazy tho :)

i started to settle down, focusing more on the movie than the boy inside me. i think he noticed because he kept touching me, kissing all on my neck and shoulder. he went to run his hands up under my shirt so i grabbed his hands, intertwining our fingers and placing them at our sides. matt groaned, obviously annoyed that he couldn’t touch me. he went to kiss my neck again, this time whispering in my ear, “i want you” i twisted my body around to give him a kiss, him chasing my lips as i pulled away.

“are you giving up?”

“mmm no but i really want to”

“give up then baby, give yourself to me, i promise ill be nice” i smiled. he knew i was telling the truth, i wasn’t going to make him do anything he didn’t want to do.

“what are you gonna make me do?” he asked, i could see the ting of red hit his cheeks as he thought about all the possibilities.

“just wanna be in control my love, want you to be a good boy for me”

matt whimpered at this and i could feel his dick twitch inside me at the idea of me having all the power. matt didn’t wanna be a sub most of the time, but when he did he fully got into the role.

“okay, i give up mommy” he breathed out, bummed that he lost.

“such a good boy letting mommy win” i rose off of him, both of us missing the feeling of him being inside me. i stood up and leaned over to give him a kiss. it was slow and passionate, him letting me guide him through it. “wanna go to your room baby?” he bit his lip and nodded, anticipation growing in his stomach. i reached my hand out for him to grab, leading him to his room.

“strip and get on your knees at the end of the bed” i ordered, shutting and locking the door. he quickly obliged letting his jeans and boxers fall to the ground before lifting his shirt over his head. he slowly kneeled in front of the bed, nervous having never been in this position before. i slipped off my skirt before walking over to the bed, sitting in front of him with my knees together. he stared up at me with the most desperate look i’ve ever seen on his face and it drove me wild.

“you’re gonna be a good boy and make mommy feel good okay?” he nodded. i opened my legs, leaving his eye level with my glistening pussy. i swear i saw some drool leave his lips. i scooted further toward the edge of the bed. he looked like he was about to say something but wasn’t sure if he was allowed. “what is it baby?” i asked lifting his chin up with my fingers.

“can i taste you mommy please? wanna make you feel good”

“you’re such a good boy matty” i leaned down kissing him hard before pulling away and leaning back a bit. he looked at my pussy and then back at me looking for permission. i nodded. he dove into me like it was his last meal, licking a firm strip up my folds before shoving his tongue inside me. he made his way up to my clit, wrapping his lips around my bud and sucking on it.

“fuck matty that feels so good baby”

he moaned at the praise, the vibrations went straight to my core. i wrapped my legs around the back of his neck, pulling him farther into me. the pressure of his face pressed against me sent me over the edge. he continued gently licking me through my orgasm, his head still locked in my legs. after i came down from my high, i released him from my grasp. he took a deep breath, finally able to breathe properly.

“you came so fast mommy”

“you were making me feel so good baby, couldn’t help myself” i pulled him into a needy kiss, my tongue dominating his mouth as he moaned into mine.

“lay on the bed for me baby” i reached my hand out to help him up, knowing his knees would be achy from being on the floor.

he laid down on the bed, getting comfortable when i noticed how red his poor cock was. he was leaking precum and i swear i could see it throbbing. i leaned over him, letting a long string of saliva fall onto his cock. i ran my hand up and down him a few times making him moan so loud he almost screamed. i crawled on top of him, “i’m gonna ride you baby, i know you’re sensitive but you’re not gonna cum until mommy says you can, okay?”

“o-okay mommy”

i straddled him and lifted myself up a bit, lining him up with my entrance. i sat down quick, knowing we were both desperate for him to be inside of me. matt whined, slapping his hands over his mouth, embarrassed from how loud he had been.

“no baby, let mommy hear your pretty noises” this was all the convincing he needed. as i lifted up and sank back down, he let out the whiniest, most desperate “fuck” i’ve ever heard in my life. i could’ve cum on the spot. i continued bouncing on him while he let out the sluttiest noises.

“mommy-y-you feel so good, ‘m so close”

“i know baby you’re doing so good for me, i’m so proud of you, just hold on a little bit longer”

i rode him harder, trying to catch up to him so i could let him cum.

“ca-a-n i touch you?”

“yes sweet boy”

he licked his thumb before placing it on my clit, rubbing in small circles. i let out a grotesque moan, looking down at him, i could see his eyes completely blown out, no evidence there was ever any blue. he looked absolutely gorgeous.

“pleaseeeeemommyineedtocum” he slurred out quickly.

“i know pretty boy, go ahead, let go for mommy”

with that i felt him release up into me, his hips sputtering as he shot into me as i watched his eyes roll to the back of his head. the second i felt his load hit my walls, i came, the pressure too great. matt cried out as we rode out our highs together. i stayed on top of him, with him still inside me, as we came down. eventually i mustered up enough strength to lift myself off him, pulling one last pathetic cry from his lips.

“i’ll be right back baby” matt was still catching his breath, i knew he wasn’t going anywhere but i didn’t want him to think i was leaving him. i quickly peed and got a warm washcloth to clean him off. i made my way back to our room sitting on the bed next to him. i wiped him down, careful to not overstimulate him too much.

“do you wanna take a bath baby or do you just want to sleep?

“sleep” he muttered

“okay, do you want your boxers” he nodded, his eyes closed. i handed him his boxers before walking to his closet to grab a t-shirt. after slipping the shirt on i went back to the bed, seeing matt still holding his boxers.

“help” was all he could get out. i grabbed his boxers before making my way to his side of the bed. i slipped each of his feet into the pants, sliding them up his legs as much as i could.

“you have to lift up a little” he groaned, lifting his hips. i quickly slid the boxers up his waist and watched him drop his hips back on the bed. i made my way into bed, “do you want to lay on me?” he didn’t answer he simply lifted his head, placing it on my chest before wrapping his arm around my waist while i pulled the blanket over us. i kissed his forehead, wrapping my arm around him.

“i love you matty”

“love you” is all he managed to get out. i giggled to myself, both of us falling asleep wrapped up in each other.

a/n: hi yall, hope you enjoyed this, it was pretty fun to write. i’m gonna get the next part out in the next couple of days :)