#zenless zone zero angst

[tinum]

Memento Vivere - Harumasa x Reader (Angst)

Summary: Harumasa's death and everything that comes after it. Warnings: CHARACTER DEATH, possible errors, maybe ooc Word Count: 1.6k Notes: the plot hole is actually filled with hidden lore about the reader guys! It's totally intentional, trust me! Thanks to the anon who requested!! ill work on it ASAP <3 okay, i think i did pretty good on this one but i really struggled with the ending tho. Let me know what you think.

The beginning. To every start, there must be an end. No matter how gently you stretch a rubber band, it is bound to break. What can not be cured must be endured, and what is endured succumbs with you.

Harumasa lays in your arms, his own body giving in to the weakness he had been born with. Tiny crystals have begun their spread across his cheek. Slowly sleeping below the skin, splitting muscle and replacing it with a mineral you hope you'd never seen him wear.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." You repeat like a mantra. It was you who had gotten him into this mess. If you had not insisted on him accompanying you, He would have been back at the office, slacking off as he deserved. "It's all my fault. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Hey now, you didn't know this would happen." His voice was gravelly as if the corruption had already made its way to his throat, permeating his voice box.

Behind you, your bangboo's buzzing circuits shoot out sparks as it twitches helplessly on the concrete. It repeats the same dialogue over and over. The echoing fills you with insurmountable rage, and each discordant repeat of your failure fills you with a burning desire to smash it into pieces.

You stumble over your words, scanning your surroundings. "We have to get out of here. Maybe there's a chance-"

Harumasa cuts you off, gently squeezing your hand. "I think we missed that boat a long time ago." A brutal cough overtakes his words, leaving nothing but grits of dust.

"Stop it." You spoke gravely. "Stop talking like that!" You didn't mean to raise your voice. Comforting him is what you should be doing, not yelling as if he is in the wrong.

Harumasa couldn't help but chuckle. He had always admired your tenacity, even if you were lying to yourself.

"Hey.. remember what I asked from you?" His eyes reach yours, the brilliant gold now a cold yellow. You nod sullenly; tears cloud your vision.

"That's good." Harumasa looked down at his legs; crystals had already formed around their length. "It seems like I have nothing to worry about, then."

You held him for a few moments, your breaths fluctuating as you struggled to hold on to your sobs. You aren't sure what you're waiting for. The end was inevitable; once corruption took root, it would only spread.

"C'mon.. you promised. You wouldn't go back on a promise, would you?" He rested his head on your shoulder, unable to hold the weight alone. He reaches for your thigh, pulling out the dagger from its sheath.

The bough finally breaks, and sorrowful tears shove themselves past your waterline. "I can't.."

"Please." He begs. You were being selfish; you knew you were. Stretching a few moments with him while he was suffering an insoluble torment.

He places the dagger in your palm, folding your fingers over it. Guiding the dagger to his chest, he whispers, "please."

The crack of rocks becomes more apparent as it travels up from his legs at an alarming speed. No longer could you delay your parting. It was a matter of seconds now.

Oh, how you wish you had more time—more time to spend doing the things he loves and more time with him.

The cool steel punctures through his breast. Penetrating faster than corruption could leech. In your arms, he ceases his breathing. The hand, cradling his killer, falls to his side, never to rise again.

-----

The world was cruel to those who can't acclimate. A goodbye will only fall deaf to those who refuse to listen. It will always loom even if they ignore what happened, waiting for the day they let their guard down.

When you return to work a few weeks later, you expect to see him sitting at his desk, his head resting gently on the piles of paperwork he has yet to do. You know it's impossible, but you can't shake the routine you have grown to love.

Once you are seated at your new desk, one far from his, a voice gently calls out your name.

"I think it's best if we talk-"

"Don't." You don't bother turning around; you don't want to see them.

"Please, just give it a chance. It would be beneficial to us all if we had a moment to talk about him."

"I said don't. I don't want to talk about this, okay?" She noticed how you tiptoed around the subject, too afraid to speak his name.

"I won't force you," she pauses, unsure if she should speak. But I think he would want you to attend his funeral." She gently places a card on your desk—a funeral.

You wouldn't. You had too much work to do.

-----

It comes in waves. A sheet of weight that crushes you, you can fight against the tide till it recedes, but it always comes back. Violently.

He should have never gone with you. It was his fault. It's his fault for coming. It's his fault for being sick. That's what you keep telling yourself over and over till you are choking on your guilt.

When you are not blaming him, he comes in your dreams. He haunts your safe haven, removing the white and painting it red. His figure is tainted with corruption, and his eyes are a different shade than you remember. He laughs, and he jeers, mocking your own failure to protect.

You were weak. Weak in battle and weak against him. Everything he says rings true, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise.

-----

Wishing for a different outcome. If you were given the chance to reverse time, what would you do differently?

Sometimes, you ponder if you could have done something to prevent this from happening. If you had told him no that morning, would he be laughing with you today? How about if you took a different route in the hallow? Would he have safely made it out? You have repeatedly run through all the possibilities in your mind, looking for a new path to alter.

If you had one wish, it would be to see into the future. You would make sure you would never make the same mistake. You'd protect him this time.

You smile fondly at your fantasy.

-----

The world is bleak, but it's worse without them. The battle against the tide has been lost. You let the water submerge you.

You haven't been to work in almost a month. Getting out of bed was already daunting, but seeing his desk was more so. Even the thought would cause tears to well up in your eyes. You didn't want to cry anymore, but you didn't know how to stop.

Once you had reluctantly drifted to sleep, he spoke. It was soft and tender, a strong contrast to his previous visits. His eyes were that familiar shade of sunset you had remembered. His flesh had broken through the corruption, no longer tainted with pain. It was truly him.

"Don't be so hard on yourself. You're stronger than this."

"Harumasa!" you call out, reaching for him, hoping to feel his warmth, but your hand passes through.

"Hah, that doesn't work, I already tried."

"Is it really you?" you whisper, your illusionary hand caressing as close to his face as you can. Your eyes snap to his features, his eyes, his nose, and his hair, painting a memory. "I miss you so much."

His hand hovers over yours; there is no sensation of touch, but something else overwhelms you—a warmth so beautifully him.

"I miss you too." He eyed gaze upon you as if you hung the sun itself, and you couldn't help but do the same.

When you can't handle his stare any longer, you pull him into a hug to the best of your abilities. For a moment, you feel like he's real again.

But as the way of all things, it must come to an end. Just as quick as the warmth came, it began to disappear. His figure slowly blended in with the backdrop of your dreamland.

"No-!" You stumble towards him, but he is already gone.

"Don't rush. I'll see you when you get here, kay?"

You woke up with a gasp. The room was grey, except for a single ray of light shining through the crack of your curtain.

Perhaps you would get out of bed today.

-----

It is never truly gone, just bearable. A wound so deep can heal, but a scar will always remain.

The dream where he spoke so tenderly was his last visit. He never returned, no matter how often you tried to recreate that day. The wounds have healed, but they left their mark. The world may have gone on without him, but yours had stopped the day he passed. You weren't sure if it would ever spin again, but you'd be damned if you didn't try.

Returning to work after your final meeting was daunting, but his words cleared the clouds in your mind, allowing you to see clearly for the first time. If you had just pulled the curtain, you'd realize the light had been shining there all along.

The members of section 6 were your light. They carried the burden of loss just like you did. They cried and screamed for a second chance, just as you. Allowing them in was allowing yourself to heal. You deserved that much.

So, you will allow yourself to heal. Day by day, you will carry on your work, fighting for everything he believed in, just like he would for you.

[wwaheoh]

"The Dangers of Hollow Work", Cunning Hares x gnReader (Platonic), SFW, Angst no Comfort

c/w: contains mentions of blood, death, injury, and body mutation.

a/n: in chapter 2, sorry if it's ooc. fun game, even if it is a bit mindless. i like the animation a lot, can't wait for further updates and for more fics for it!!

To be trapped in a Hollow without a proxy was a death sentence. Depending on one’s aptitude, it would be a quick transformation after half an hour or so, or would be a slow, painful change. Your body would mutate, cells being created at an accelerated rate as the environment forced your body to change into something inhuman. New appendages, body parts being ripped apart as it struggled to keep up. Your psyche only knowing pain, for hours, before finally setting into a new shape, your DNA having been broken and reshaped.

Only pain and destruction filled your mind, mindless, memories of what you once were and those you knew washed away like a sandcastle on the beach.

-

The Cunning Hares were no stranger to traversing the Hollows, oftentimes enlisting the help of the legendary Phaethon. This time their leader, Nicole, had accepted a lower paying commission. One that seemed simple, quick in and out, so they skimped on the premium and gone with a cheaper proxy. Something perfect for you, still easing into working with them. A mistake that would cost them dearly.

It started off normally, following a Bangboo through the formerly human-inhabited city. It was more rudimentary than the premium one Phaethon used, without the syncing and high-tech they had, it couldn’t do the same as theirs could. As they delved deeper, the proxy reported a nearby disturbance, their tech couldn’t identify that it was a monster magnitudes higher than what they were being paid to fight.

They learned the hard way, with only a moment of notice before the monster sprang out, a head split open, revealing a mass of unstable energy. Green splitting their charcoal body. It was monstrous, forearms the size of entire car. It crashed through a wall, as if on a mission to kill them, and only them.

-

“Nicole! The proxy’s trying to tell us something!” Billy the Kid, an sentient AI, spoke out, kneeling as the Bangboo held out text, encrypted in case anyone apart from them got hold of this information. Nicole, the leader of the Cunning Hares, made her way over, a sense of unease as they continued along their mission. “It says…” She read the small text that was displayed on the Bangboo’s eyes.

“Something’s coming!” Anby spoke, rushing with blinding speed from her spot guarding the group to parrying a monster that smashed through the wall. It was a monster too strong for them to handle right now- or at least until they were being paid to.

“Fall back! We’ll do this commision later!” Nicole shouted, swinging her suitcase forward as she shot out a ball of energy, erupting as it began to pull the monster and anything nearby to its epicenter. “It won’t hold it for long, let’s go!”

You, Nicole, Billy, and Anby ran out, picking up the Bangboo and having it direct the group on the go. There were monsters on the way out, having to slow down every once in a while to combat them before making a break for it. “We better get a bonus for this!” Nicole shouted as the telltale screech of the monster echoed through the city.

Finally after seemingly forever, the Cunning Hares had reached the exit, a swirly mess of blue and purple, with a white bubbly outline was their way out of this mess.

“Trial by fire eh!” Billy joked, slowing down to your pace, his long legs easily making him the fastest out of the group. He helped keep you calm, someone who could make the best out of unfortunate circumstances.

“C’mon guys! Only a bit further left.” Nicole directed, someone emotionally sturdy, who had been the first of the group to meet you. Originally you’d been friends outside of this whole Hollows business, until the two of you learned that you’d shared this “hobby” together. She’d invited you to join the Cunning Hares, happy for one friend to meet her other friends.

The portal out got closer as they moved, yet the stomping of the monsters got arrived first. It landed from the air, with Billy saving you from being squashed by the several ton monster. He tossed you to Nicole, having her help right yourself as he unloaded bullets onto the monster. It didn’t do much but helped distract the monster for Anby to rush in.

“Say hello to my little friend.” She spoke in her monotone voice, seemingly to herself, as she unsheathed her blade and rocketed forward, slashing at the monster, sparks flying as electricity flowed through her blade.

Quickly they moved, hurrying to the exit as the monster was riddled with electricity coursing through their body, locking their joints and nerves, immobilizing them.

It seemed to be smooth sailing from there, with the adrenaline that had been coursing through your veins seemingly evaporating in seconds. A mistake, as you were not out of the woodworks just yet. A stray piece of debris on the ground made you trip, with a small yelp as you slipped onto the ground.

The monster recovered from their stun, now more ferocious than ever, they charged. Nicole and the others hadn’t seen you fall, caught up in keeping the monster busy and keeping the Bangboo safe. Once they had reached the portal and turned back to the monster, they’d seen you on the ground.

It was a shock, with Nicole nearly rushing forward to help you before being stopped by Anby. “The monster is too strong for us. It should’ve been incapacitated for 72.3% longer. We need to come back again.” “But we have to save them!” “We will all die if we do. We can come back, with Phaethon to aid us.” Nicole couldn’t bring herself to agree to what Anby was saying, it would basically be agreeing to abandon one of their own, even if for seemingly a short while. But she stopped protesting, letting herself be dragged out. Once she got to the outside world, she made a break for the video store, in search for the legendary Proxy’s help.

-

You lasted for half an hour against the monster. Running and dodging, clashing for a minute before making a break for it when you could. You knew the Cunning Hares would be back, but this was an enemy unlike anything they’d come up against previously, the only monster akin to them would’ve been the Dead End Butcher.

The monster had caught up, pulverizing your ribs with a single hit and leaving you concussed, falling down several floors. Your vision was blurry, the world felt like it was spinning. Pain, unbearable. Unable to move without the chance of nicking an artery or damaging an internal organ. Nothing to say of your spine having been shattered as you hit the ground.

You lay there for half an hour, your screams and cries rang out for thirteen minutes before, your voice failing on you. Before a groaning and inhuman screams replaced what was left.

-

The Cunning Hares had been able to take down the mysterious monster; what would usually call for celebration had to be postponed as they followed Phaethon deeper into the Hollow, searching for the last signal of human life. It had been seventeen minutes since the last ping. Phaethon warned them that what they would find would either be a corpse but the Cunning Hares refused to believe that, not wanting to part with you so early into your career, not when you had become integrated into the group.

Finally reaching the last known location, they found a puddle of blood, drying up, with no body. A monster nearby, with scraps of clothing still hanging on, yours.

They couldn't even leave with a body to bury.

[idlescara]

my friend recently died so i’m subjecting everyone to harumasa angst lol will probably subject everyone to more angst later

gender neutral reader, established relationship, hurt/no comfort, harumasa backstory spoilers (may be inaccurate bc i’m going off how i interpret it), harumasa dies, angst

“why didn’t you tell me, haru? why…” you muttered under your breath as you clutched onto the jacket that was always tied around his waist. it was the only thing that miyabi and soukaku found when they were sent into the hollow to search for him.

the investigation concluded in that he was declared KIA, or rather he turned into a ethereal and was now roaming the hollow.

he hadn’t told you that he had ether aptitude regression syndrome, or how he had been tested on when he was a child.

miyabi could only watch you as you kneeled on the ground where you had met them as they emerged from the hollow holding harumasa’s jacket, nearly tearing the fabric of it from how tightly you were holding it in your hands.

you silently sobbed into it, body shaking as you did.

she, and the rest of the team, eventually left the area, giving you privacy as you grieved.

[muminshoom]

Lore accurate H.S.O. Section 6

[miammey]

Everyone's just talking about how hot Lighter is, and yeah he's attractive, but he has such a painful story and barely anyone is mentioning it??? I haven't even finished all his hangout stuff yet, but already I can tell that he's still extremely troubled by what happened in his past.

During the film we watch with him he wasn't scared of the blood and gore, mainly since there wasn't as much as expected (and he wore his glasses so he wouldn't faint), but he was scared about what one of the characters did that caused a disaster, something he relates to in a sense, saying that even if he looked calm his hands were shaking. I wanted to tell him that he can stay and calm down all he wants, give him a more relaxing movie to watch free of charge, because to me he felt so uncomfortable after watching the movie because he didn't expect it to hit so close

And don't get me started on this man's physical injuries. He's covered in MASSIVE scars, realistically, if we were to map out how they got there, he would've nearly had his arm cut off or just be cut in half. He mentioned that another reason he wears sunglasses is because of an old injury, even tho it's basically already healed he just no longer feels comfortable going out without them. He mentioned his neck and legs weren't what they once were, and judging by his backstory that's mainly because he's always fighting. He's the type to strain himself to whatever extent necessary do get the task done

He also is just genuinely so attached to his gang and so scared of losing them, but even then he stays strong because others need him to. He also saw Caesar almost die, his leader and a good friend, and yet he stayed strong for Lucy. He goes off by himself to deal with things because he doesn't want to get others in the gang involved, and he's just so genuinely earnest. He's caring and awkward and bad at hiding it, but he's still that Champion, a position he takes pride in because it means he's succeeding at protecting his loved ones, something he failed to do in the past

Speaking of the past, back to him being self-sacrificing, he went into debt and basically signed his life away to pay it off after his group all died all to make sure their families were taken care of. He knew that businessmen were greedy and there's a good chance it would take decades for him to pay them off, if he ever would, but he still did it. He described himself as a zombie back then, and only until after he got comfortable with the gang did he break out of that state

I know people gawk over attractive characters, I can't say I don't as well at times, but every time he's on screen and anything even remotely seems to upset him I just wanna make him comfortable. He's relaxed, but not comfortable, and I don't think he's been comfortable for a very long time. He says everything's in the past, but I'm pretty sure he's still trying to convince himself of that, because what happened in his past had such a big impact on his future that it's still in the back of his mind day in and day out

[wyzzze]

Kind of obsessed with the way Lighter in most of his trust events keeps saying that he wants to kill himself

And when you tell him that you'll jump in after him if he jumps, he says this;

Implying that at the heart of it all, he just really wants someone to care enough about him to jump in with him. To go through the motions of grief with him and to pull him back up.

In Lighter's side story, the Sons of Calydon said that he's an elusive figure to even them in spite of being with them for years. For a long time he considered it a job that he was working to pay back Big Daddy for taking him out of his nightmare and giving him a second chance.

And now knowing what we know about him, we know that he keeps them far away from him and calls his place there a "job" a "debt", because if he gets closer to them and they died...he wouldn't be able to take it anymore.

He already can't take the losses he's had, and he's really only been hanging on all of this time for purposes that he's given himself, like a weary horse following a carrot. Giving his life to the ring as an apology and then giving his life to Big Daddy as repayment.

Debt and guilt have kept him alive for years. He considered himself dead when he sold himself to the ring, and he didn't ever expect to be given the opportunity to live again. To share meals with others or dare to get closer.

Knowing this, it also re-contextsualizes the devastation on his face when he'd thought that he'd lost Caesar in Tour de Inferno and also his relationship with Lucy considering she wears her hair similar to Dane's little sister.

So...he can't quite exactly envision a world with him in it yet. Belle and Wise are meeting him at a time in his life where he's wondering to himself if he actually has the right to live again and if he deserves that privilege. He's wondering if he's strong enough to let people in and to love again, even if it means that he may lose them.

He's unable to trust himself and afraid of being a leader--content with being a background character in their lives. Someone who's easy to let go...in case he were to dissappear. In case he dies. He plays the role of a silent protector even though he needs someone to lean on the most.

So this part of him is interesting, and the implications of him showing his real self little by little is deeply compelling to me. So many of his trust events are dedicated to him saying that he wants to die. But in so many of them, he's also saying, "Please don't let me die" and "If I die, will you care? If me dying makes you so sad then...I guess I can't die." finding more and more reasons to keep on living.

He's finding himself wanting again. Wanting someone who will ride with him, someone that listens to him. Someone that cares that he's still here and will miss him when he's gone.

He's finding more and more reasons. Things to look forward to.

[royalfriday]

Hello, 🌸

I hope my message finds you well 

I'm Momen Al Madhoun / Digital Artist / From Gaza 🇵🇸

I need your help to amplify my voice by sharing my artwork

"The work is about my beloved wife's suffering during a year of genocide" 🕊️

Please reblog my post and donate if you can 🙏🏻

Post link

Thank you for your time 🌹🌹

....

[bitterbutblue]

the person you're calling has turned into an ethereal...

let my last thought be you ☆ zzz x fem!reader

characters : Ellen Joe (platonic), Anby Demara, Grace Howard, Zhu Yuan

~ LMAOO U TURN INTO AN ETHEREAL AND ITS THEIR FAULT LMAOOOO.. also i wrote this for my fav artist yurieater69.. hi yurieater69.. <33

warning for zhu yuan's- INACCURATE POLICE TALK. PLEASEEEE IM A UNI STUDENT IDK ABOUT COPS ~

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

let me see tomorrow ☆ platonic!ellen joe x reader

This was supposed to be one of their easiest missions yet. There wasn't even supposed to be any weapons drawn, for fuck's sake. Lycaon sent in you and her for a reason- an in and out hollows mission. You were her closest... coworker? Could she call you a friend? She would like to call you a friend. You were around her age, but you always managed to somehow balance this odd job and your school work flawlessly- something she deeply envied. You never seemed tired, always at the top of your game. For the longest time she despised you, until you two were sent on this mission.

Just the two of you.

And she realised there was much more to you than just perfection. Of course, perfection is only an idealistic dream but to her you were perfection. Your moments of weakness she found herself overlooking because she had already idealised you in her head. It was really only two hours, yet she found herself regretting not talking to you earlier.

But now, Ellen can only watch in horror, unable to move, staring in horror as you collapse to the ground. She finally manages to move, pushing herself off the ground, dashing towards you.

"Hey, hey, stay with me."

Cool, calm, collected. That's how a maid from Victoria' Housekeeping should be acting but as each second ticks by she can feel herself losing her calm. You lunge at her, fear swallowing your every move and thought as you grab onto her collar.

"Ellen, Ellen I don't wanna turn- Ellen please-"

You both knew it was too late but you were panicking, tears falling before you even know it because you can just feel yourself falling down that abyss. All she can do is watch. She doesn't know what to do, she doesn't know you well. Should she hold you? Should she grab your hand and run? She can feel her own panic surfacing, eyes darting all over the place. Her head feels light, breathing shallow as she tries to calm herself because this isn't about her. This isn't about her.

"Ellen, call Lycaon, Rina, please, Ellen-"

Your begging is all she can hears and she's never heard you sound like this. So afraid, frantic, desperate. Your usual put together self now thrown away as you scramble to keep yourself together.

"Ellen, I'm scared. Ellen, please-"

Her instincts take over, rushing over to you. She holds you in an awkward embrace, collapsing to her knees as she pulls you in close.

"It's okay."

The words sound awkward coming out of her, and she can hear how choked her own voice is. She's scared, she has no right to be but she's scared. She doesn't want to lose you.

"I want my mom, I'm scared. I don't wanna turn, Ellen-"

The last thing you hear is her heartbeat and the last thing she hears is your cries before you go limp. And it's only a matter of time until you start moving again so she grabs her weapon as fast as she can. She doesn't even realise she's crying until she moves to stab her shears through your now-ethereal body. She doesn't even realise she's sobbing and her chest hurts until she hears Lycaon's voice calling out to her. The puzzle pieces click in his head when he sees your weapon lying on the ground and the usually stoic and emotionless Ellen Joe on her knees, tears flowing silently as she lets out choked cries of apologies.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

love me one last time ☆ anby demara x reader

When she fell in love with you, Anby swore to herself she would always put your safety over her own because to her, you were more than the world itself. Working with her in the Cunning Hares is and always will be a danger, and she knows she can't let her emotions get the best of it all. But you always saw it differently. You always wore the softest smile around Anby, one that had her usual stoicism fading into an embarrassed and shy smile. You were her exception, and that was the problem.

Yet this time it was all her fault. She led you guys the wrong way, deeper and deeper into the hollows while thinking you were on your way out. You told her it's okay, you told her that you trusted her no matter what and she just wanted to believe that but the sinking feeling in her gut had her growing more and more worried over time.

You play off how you feel something going wrong, because you wanted to trust her so badly but something was definitely not right. And your theories came true when you feel yourself growing dizzy and weak. Anby catches on, growing more and more panicked when you suddenly stumble and fall to the ground.

"Don't worry- I'll call for someone, I'll-"

"Anby?"

Your voice is so quiet, so hoarse. Her heart drops when she looks into your eyes because she sees it too now and she feels like throwing up. This can't be happening.

Was this... her fault?

"Just stay close."

You were hunched over, her kneeling next to you and she hated feeling so helpless. She hated knowing that right now it was happening all over again, she's losing someone and it's her fault.

"Don't talk like you're dying." She hisses out angrily, scrambling to help you up onto your feet but you refuse to budge.

"Anby please."

You sound tired, drained. If she listens carefully she can hear the hint of fear you are so desperately trying to hide from her.

"Just stay close."

You knew what was happening- you weren't stupid.

"It's not your fault."

Anby didn't register the tears falling until she feels your hand reach up to wipe away the stray tears that are falling from her eyes.

"I'm sorry."

She's never heard herself sound so vulnerable and afraid. The sound of her own voice has her shocked.

"It was bound to happen."

She hated how casual you sounded about it all, how you tried to swallow back the tremor in your voice.

"No it fucking wasn't." She's lost control now. She snaps at you despite the fact that she knows she shouldn't be doing that but she can't help it because she's so scared. "I could've gotten us out, I shouldn't have been..."

She trails off when she sees the look in your eyes. Even now it's still soft and loving and she wants to hold you forever. Instead she pulls you in for a hug. Tight, but gentle. Your hearts are beating against one another, like a perfectly tuned macine.

"It's okay. I'm still me."

She's breaking down now. She can feel how hard you're fighting to stay in this body for just a second longer.

"I love you, Anby."

She can feel herself shaking and trembling, swallowing back her sobs as she whispers out the last words you'll hear- right before piercing her blade through your still-human chest. You slump over, head in her shoulder, a ghost of a smile on your face as she sobs into your still body.

"I love you."

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

let us love for another day more ☆ grace howard x reader

Perhaps it was time to put it all to rest. Maybe she had taken it too far this time. You had warned her not to get to carried away at night with her experiments and she keeps brushing you off, promising to be home soon... soon... soon.

You grew sick of waiting for her, so one night you decide to venture off to Belobog Industries on your own. She's been spending too much time with her robots (or her children, as she likes to call them) and staying out this late in New Eridu is always unsafe. So you drive to her, but on your way there you find yourself lost. The surroundings grow unfamiliar, and you feel a cold chill down your spine when you realise your situation.

You've fallen into a hollow.

Grace realises far too late that you're not picking up her calls, and that her messages aren't going through. She panics as soon as she realises, calling Koleda in a frantic rush. They woke Phaethon up at 1 in the morning (frankly, both of them we're still awake so was it really waking them up?). She follows the Bangboo into the hollow, Koleda tailing her.

"Seriously, sis, why didn't you just let her know you would be home soon?"

"Not the time, Koleda."

Koleda pauses when she hears her name slip out of Grace's lips. No pet name, no 'sis' or 'sweet pea'. 'Koleda'. Grace is scared. Her usual, lighthearted self now replaced with a pale, worried and shaky demeanour that has Koleda growing anxious too.

"She's okay, seriously."

"GRACE-!"

The Phaethon's panicked voice causes her to jump, she turns around, quickly identifying the source of the sound. Her heart drops at the sight.

The Bangboo is crouched next to this figure, who is slumped over next to their car. Grace could recognise that figure from fucking anywhere because that's you. That's her fucking wife. A pang of guilt hits her so hard she almost stumbles. She rushes towards you, picking up your limp body in her arms.

"Darling, baby, can you hear me? Are you okay?"

Your eyes fluttered open, breathing shallow as you looked up. A ghost of a smile forms on your face.

"Grace.. I made dinner for us.. at home.."

Your voice was weak, shaky and she can feel her throat closing up as she blinks back tears.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry baby-"

"Can you take me home?"

Koleda just stands to the side awkwardly, watching as Grace pulls your limp body close to her.

"Yes, let's go home, darling."

Grace knows the situation. Koleda knows the situation. Fuck, even Phaethon knows the situation. You're not making it home.

"I feel weird."

"I know, baby."

Grace pulls you onto her lap, your head resting against her chest as you struggle to breath properly. Ethereal matter is no joke, and Grace knows it too but right now she can't care that they're in a hollow with limited time. All she can think about is you.

"It's gonna be okay, just look at me?"

She can't even have it in her to remain calm, her words come out through her tears as she holds you closer. You can feel her regret through her actions, and you can feel her tears dripping down her face and onto the top of your head as she hugs you close.

"Grace... I wanna go home."

She breaks down now, sobbing messily as her cries echo through the night. She tells you false promises, tells you that you guys are going home. She tells you she will prepare a warm bath for you, and you guys can go to bed together, and sleep in the next day. She tells you it will be alright, and that she will make you breakfast tomorrow. You let out a content sigh, before closing your eyes.

Koleda takes this opportunity, watching you right as you turned to an Ethereal, and strikes it down. Grace can only watch as the rest of you fades from her arms into the air, hugging herself- as if clutching the remains of you to her heart.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

my mistakes haunt my nights ☆ zhu yuan x reader

The day she became the captain of N.E.P.S. was essentially the day she devoted her life to protecting you and people like you. Each night she would come home with a grateful smile that she could come home to you. You spend the rest of the evening cooking dinner together, laughing, talking about whatever case she had going on that day and whatever stupid thing your boss had told you to do during work.

Zhu Yuan put you first. She always had put you first.

So the one time she doesn't, it comes back to get her.

The unpredictability of New Eridu meant that anyone could fall into a hollow any day. Zhu Yuan knew that, so did you. And you trusted that if it were to ever happen, she would find you. And she promised she would. And like predicted, You and other civilians had fallen into a hollow one day. And Zhu Yuan intends to fulfil her promise.

It was just a rescuse mission, save those who have fallen in hollows. The civilians they were after had already been saved, yet they kept mentioning 'someone who ran off'. Zhu Yuan clicks her tongue in annoyance.

"Another one who ran off?"

"Captain?"

She quickly picks up the walkie talkie. They had managed to get the first group out, leaving her and Qingyi trying to find the others.

"Yes?"

"W-we found the others, but..."

"What?"

"We're north of where you are now, you need to come, fast. It's- it's your wife, we think she's-"

She runs. She runs before he even finishes his sentence. She hears the fear in his voice and that fear is what they can't have on field because that fear is what breaks them. Qingyi follows her, right at her tail as they finally find the group of PUBSEC officers that stand with their guns pointed up.

"Captain, she's-"

"PUT THEM DOWN."

She feels her heart dropping when she sees the sight in front of her. You were curled up into a ball, looking pale and sickly and so scared of all the officers that had their guns pointed at you. Your eyes widened when you noticed Zhu Yuan.

"Zhu Yuan- please, they won't let me leave..."

Zhu Yuan's heart stutters in her chest as she approaches you slowly, dropping onto her knees in front of you. She can feel the tears pricking at her eyes because she knows she's too late. She's encountered innocent civilians turning into Ethereals, she learned to predict when it was too late and when there was still time left to save them but this.

"I just wanted to see you at work." You croaked out weakly, holding onto her jacket.

Never has she ever let people see her cry, or have her fellow officers see her in a moment of weakness but she can't hold back this time. She takes in a shaky breath, feeling her tears fall from her eyes as she takes off her glove, before putting a hand to your cheek. You sigh at the skin to skin contact, leaning into her touch and that simple act has her letting out a pained sob.

"I'm sorry, baby-"

She wasn't fast enough. If she had come earlier, you wouldn't have ran to try to help the civilians. Curse you- curse you and your stupidly kind heart and your need to help everyone. Zhu Yuan just wants you to be selfish for once because if you're selfish then you would've still been here, smiling with the intention to go home.

"Are you going to kill me, Zhu Yuan?"

The fear in your voice is evident and Zhu Yuan shuts her eyes tight, taking in a deep breath as she pulls your head onto her lap. She moves a hand, gently stroking your hair. She feels the softness thread between her fingers, and you feel her tears drip onto your cheek.

"I just- wanted to see you."

You were shaking now, gripping onto her hand as if it's a life raft that could ground you, take you home.

"I don't want to die."

Zhu Yuan screws her eyes shut, biting down on her lip to prevent another sob from escaping but she can't stop her shoulders from quaking.

"Please..."

"I love you."

The words flow out of her, unstoppable. She knows this is the last time she can talk to you.

"I'm sorry I wasn't fast enough. I'm sorry, baby, I love you. I love you..."

"Zhu Yuan-"

Your words are hoarse and choked, your grip on Zhu Yuan's arm is so tight. She can feel your nails digging into her skin but she can't care about that in the moment.

"I don't want to die... please..."

"I love you-" she cries, moving to hold your hand tight "I love you, I'm sorry, I love you-"

And she can only watch in horror as you let out a sharp gasp, body freezing up as your eyes widened. And Qingyi steps in, firing a shot right through your head- right before you turned.

Officers could only stand and watch- another successful case, majority of the civilians rescued.

But at what cost?

She couldn't stop herself- she let out a scream, grabbing onto your body and holding it close as she sobbed out meaningless apologies that only fade into the night sky.

Zhu Yuan returned to an dark and empty home, cold and harsh. She takes off her jacket, now stained in your blood, and just stares at it. She stares, and stares, before her knees finally give out as she breaks into loud wails and sobs. She clutches the jacket close, it's the last of you she can hold onto. But also a painful reminder of why it's all she has left.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

[luminique]

HEAR ME OUT, one sided love?? Imagine s/o doesn’t like lighter back, being oblivious about lighters feeling and only see lighter as a friend meanwhile lighter is so MADLY in love with them and is aware of s/o not liking him back but he can’t help it because you’re the only one that makes him feel this way even if his feelings aren’t reciprocated… they’re so doomed think about the potential angst!! 🫤

lighter isn’t perfect. his body is littered in scars of his past, his actions are solutions to mistakes he had made before. to say that he deserved something as rewarding as love didn’t sound right to him, but oh, would it feel right if it was from you.

it was definitely not an immediate fall, rather it was slower like starting a fire. you bring the materials you require, some wood and a starter. it’s difficult to get a fire going, even he knows that with his lighter in hand. his hand gets warmer the longer the flame is out but it doesn’t compare to the accidental grazes of your hand against his gloved ones.

he had poked you once with the spikes on his gloves. the look on your face when you brought your hand up to rub it while you apologized for it. why were you apologizing? every soft “sorry” that came out of your mouth was like sprinkling water onto the fire. best to get fresh firewood so that it doesn’t go out.

ensuring that the fire is a consistent flame is also important to prevent accidents. accidents like playfully taking off his sunglasses and putting it on yourself while imitating him. somehow, that didn’t cause the fire to go out, in fact, it made it burn even brighter than before. the redness on his face when he watched you was comparable to the orange and red hues of a fire.

he stayed close to the fire, close to you. feeling the warmth of love on his skin, finding it calming but also terrifying. it doesn’t rain often in the outer ring but that doesn’t stop him from worrying that it would all of a sudden. so he lies awake at night, thinking about all of the possibilities, the what ifs and its outcomes.

he thought he had considered everything. from keeping the fire from going out, to ensuring it was a stable flame, to tending it slowly and carefully. what he didn’t consider was getting too close to the fire, burning through what he thought was tough skin.

he was too focused on trying to maintain a certain personality, not quite showing his interest in you. so when caesar was talking to you about her love stories while everyone was hanging around the bar, his heart rate increased. just like how consuming alcohol affects one’s mental and physical state, so does it affect a fire. maybe someone poured his drink into the flames as he watched it burn even brighter than before, making him eavesdrop on your conversation.

but a large flame meant a higher possibility of getting burnt, and soon he saw the burn marks on his skin. as you continued to talk with caesar, the longer he let the fire burn him. how you had said that real love wasn’t like the stories, how you seemed disinterested in romance, how you had believed that no one was interested in you. at that moment, he ended up getting more drinks from burnice, hoping it would soothe the roaring flames within him. he drank so much and fell asleep to the soft crackling of the fire, your voice acting as background noise.

he woke up to the coldness of the bar counter pressing on his cheek. the fire had been put out by you when you tapped on his shoulder. the memories of last night flooding into his mind like water. maybe it was all some nightmare and you did like him back, but the sudden coolness of your touch made him realize the reality of it all.

you didn’t like him, and not because he did anything wrong but because he didn’t do anything in your eyes. you were feeding the fire in his heart and he mistook that fire for your heart too. he sat up straight, took one look at you and shook his head. you still cared for him, came with water and woke him up gently. he never intended to get so severely injured because of his own growing feelings for you.

his own feelings, you didn’t even know he had any for you. the pile of ashes, you both stared at it and yet only he knew that fire existed. the flames had misled him, danced around his heart that craved for you, that only asked for you as its fuel. now all he can do was sit next to what was once a big fire, feeling the cold on his skin despite the layers. no warmth left, no light left, no love left.

[maximaxstreasurebox]

I need someone to write about how Harumasa probably crashed out after learning his master saved him (again), like there's no way hes not feeling like sht after the rooftop scene-

Imagine- hes so conflicted and confused, takes a moment to process silently, coming to a logical conclusion that yeah his master was not the best guy, staying calm with the proxy around... but then few hours later back in his room, he just.. breaks, emotionally, he thought he was a goner but master gave him a chance again, even beyond death.... no matter what master was tasked to do originally, he still chose to later go against it and try to cure him. Even if Haru doesn't fear death, the fact that he's not going out as a monster that haunts his dreams... Man 🧍

[falling-star-cygnus]

Billy chronically rocks with ass-kickin women and i love that for him -> he really went from:

the Sons of Calydon [and i see you, Lighter, bbg, i do] to the Cunning Hares and in neither is he in a commanding role -> this man supports women's right's AND women's wrongs!!

if we ever get a reveal of the drifters he had travelled with before the Sons, i really hope they're all women too

BUT IF THEY'RE NOT- [if they're all MEN] -> i invite you to imagine with me:

Drifter, trying to tug Billy off to the side: Hey- hey, Kid. Billy, swatting him off but leaning down to sort of have a private convo: What? *the rest of the hares' not so covertly listen in* Drifter, whispering: We sold you to those Sons of Calydon people, why are you with the Cunning Hares!? Billy, also whispering: They recruited me! Drifter: What!? *bewildered silence* Drifter: ...Damn. Damn, Kid. All the broads want you Billy: Don't- call my coworkers.. broads. Please.

[m-inntii]

HARUMASA IS AFUCKING LIAR AND A HALF AND I HSTE HIM SM RIWNFKSG

RAGGHH I HATE THIS MAN SM HES SO SAD AND DEPRESSING SJFOJEKFND.

ONE OF HIS TRACES OR WHATEVER THE FHCK THEY CALL CONS IN ZZZ IS LITERALLY NAMED "WHITE LIES" HE LITERALLY LIES ABOUT THE SERVERITY OF HIS ILLNESS SONOTHERS WONT WORRY AJGJIWJD

AND YOU CANNOT TELL ME HE WASNT PRETENDINGNTO BE FINE IN THE AFTERMATH OF HIS STORYR QUEST. HE NEARLY FUCKING DIED (HELL THE WAY HE TALKED BEFORE GOING INTONTHE ECHO MADE IT SEEM LIKE HE KNEW HE WAS GOINGNTO DIE LKKE WTF), SAW HIS MASTER, THE SAME PERSON WHO HAD HELPED EXPERIMENT AND TEST ON HIM, TRYING TO PROTECT THE CASE WHICH HAD THE THING WHICH WOULD HELP HIM EVEN IN FUCKING ETHERAL FORM, AND HAD EVEN GAVE HIS OWN SPINAL FLUID SO THE KIDS WOJLDNT HAVE TO, AND HE COMES OUT SEEMJNGLY OKAY?? NAH I AINT BELIEVING THIS FACADE NO WAY BITCH

AND HIS TRAILERS. OH MY GOD. LIKE THIS MAN APPEARS ALL GOOF5 AND SHIT BUT THEN OFFSCREEN HE LITERALLY SUFFERING FROM FUCKING NIGHTMARES, BELIEVS HES NOT WORTH LOVING JUST BECAUSE HE HAS AN ILLNESS, USES A CHOCKER TO HIDE THE INJECTION SCARS, AND THEN DRILL PRETENDS TO BE OKAY AND PLAYS OFF HIS ISSUES TO AVOID WORRYIJJG PEOPLE

*exhales* anyway thanks for coming to my Ted talk if you couldn't tell I'm obsessed with this man

[wwaheoh]

Henlo. 👋 I love the Unrequited Love series you wrote for Lycaon, Anby, and Zhu! If you're accepting requests and have free time, could you write a part three where the reader is confronted by someone about it (though it's not necessarily the one the reader's avoiding)? Thank you again for the wonderful pieces you've wrote for the ZZZ fandom! 💜

“Heart Meet Mind”, Zenless Zone Zero x gnReader

Ellen Joe (Von Lycaon), Qingyi (Zhu Yuan)

a/n: originally supposed to be a oneshot angst, now getting a happy(?) ending- still deciding whether to go for a bittersweet or happy ending. consider part 2 and part 4 endings depending on which one you’d prefer 

Part 1.

Part 2.

You went out for another walk, thoughts of Lycaon were still buzzing around often, but time slowly began to erode at the amount of space it took. They say time heals all wounds after all. It seemed it was doing so at last, maybe you’ll move on finally, after stewing in your heartbreak at home.

It was a bit pathetic, being so hung up on another person. Lycaon, such a gentleman, such a nice guy, a guy who could bounce back from a relationship ending so quickly. Such a kiss-ass, maybe you two weren’t as close as you foolishly thought- seeing through rose-tinted glasses rather than how he actually was. How happy you saw him when he was with that other person at the Noodle Shop… How warm he looked against the lamp lighting, his clothes fitted and fur groomed. Did he look like that when the two of you hung out? Or was he eager to leave- using those emergencies at work to ditch you…

You stopped walking, now in a nearby park. The feeling of a constricted throat and stinging eyes that’s become more and more familiar since that day rising once more. 

Sitting yourself down onto an empty park bench, you looked blankly out to the lake of water the park surrounded, ducks swimming lazily, leaving small ripples in the water. The sounds of their honks and nearby cicadas filling the silence of the afternoon. It’s helped a lot whenever you needed to get out and get fresh air.

“Yo.” A feminine, monotone voice spoke behind you- a yelp escaping you as you nearly fell out of your seat, not having heard the newcomer. Looking back and to the approaching girl, you noticed that she was familiar- Ellen Joe, one of the featured members of Victoria Housekeeping. Crap.

“Realized huh? I’d imagine, considering how often you hung around Lycaon.” You flinched at the name, a look of guilt passing through Ellen’s face. “Look, if it helps, I’ve never seen the man so hung up on anything in his life.” 

“No… it doesn’t.” You replied nervously, inwardly cringing at how you were terrified to speak to a high school girl about your failed confession to her boss.

“Good.” She took a lollipop from her pocket, ripping the plastic off, and popping the treat into her mouth- stick sticking out of her mouth like a cigar. “Would’a been a red flag.” Speech a little different due to the treat in her mouth, yet still carried its meaning clearly.

Taking the lollipop out of her mouth, she pointed it towards you, red sphere of hard sugar facing you. “You go to the cafe- the one you met the boss at. He’ll be there. Tell him again.”

“But he’ll just say no again.” You mumbled, eyes downcast at the reminder of her confession.

“I wouldn’t bet on it."

“Huh?” You looked up quickly, nervousness painting your face.

“I said I wouldn’t bet on it. The fact that I know how much this’s been messing with him shows that he realized he made a mistake.”

“Now, go there tomorrow, he’ll be there.” Popping the treat back in, the shark-girl stood up and walked off, dropping the plastic wrapping into a nearby trash can on her way out.

Tomorrow, he’ll be there. Tomorrow, you’ll see him again. 

((i actually dunno much about her so take this with a grain of salt))

Shifting the car into the parking lot, you were excited to finally get out of duty. Not that you hated being a police officer- it was a dream of yours ever since you were a kid and basically a shoe-in due to your high Ether Aptitude, but because of your partner. Not your reassigned partner- they were great, the two of you had become fast friends and while the sting of heartache still lingered, it was beginning to fade. This morning however, they had called off sick, forcing a newcomer into your car and who had been shadowing you today.

Qingyi. Now you weren’t going to say you disliked her, especially for such a petty reason of being too late to ask your crush out. Though you also weren’t going to say you liked her. It was a surprise to see her tap on your window, even bigger to know that she would be joining you today. It was a tense couple of minutes- like what do you say to the one who stole your crush’s heart? It did slowly fade by the end, making conversation and helping out around the neighborhood- but it still never left.

She probably felt it, you thought, guilty for putting your coworker through the stifling awkwardness for a reason she didn’t know of.

She did feel it and she did very much have an idea of what was going on.

So just as you pulled into the police department’s private parking lot and settled into an open space, she locked the doors and turned to you.

“Are you infatuated with Zhu Yuan?”

“Huh!?” You had nearly been about to ask her why she locked the door when she hit you with that. “Why?”

“Because. Now answer.”

“N-no…” As much as you wanted to say yes, to tell the shorter person that you had plans to confess- it wasn’t your choice anymore, it never was. Since you were-

“- not too late.” Her voice cut through your inner monologue.

“Huh.” She stared at you with an exasperated look, “I mean, just cause she’s my partner doesn’t mean you’re too late.”

“What? That exactly means I was too late!” You blurt out before slapping your hand over your mouth. Mortified at what you just exposed.

“I’ve seen the way she looks at you. If you talked to her, it’d help. She’s been pretty down since you stopped hanging out with her.”

“What?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh…”

“Tomorrow, tell her. Her shift ends at the same time as yours.”

She clicked the locks back off, opening the door and sliding out, shutting it behind her as she left. You stared at where she sat, mulling over what she said. 

Tomorrow. That’s the time. 

[khys-treasure-box]

AN: Still brainrotting hard, so here's even more Harumasa. I swear, I am working on a non-Harumasa related post though! This one just came to me as I woke up and I needed to write it down before I inevitably forgot it.

CW: Just Harumasa angst. If you like him then this will just make you sad, I fear. The thought literally made me sad when it came to me, and I'm just choosing to inflict it upon all of you too. :(

So, hear me out here, Harumasa is okay with the life he has now. I mean, that's obvious, isn't it? However, I think that sometimes, when his mind wanders off, he thinks about what his life could be like if he wasn't sick; all the things he could be doing if he was just a normal guy.

He could certainly do his job with a lot less worry, although he guesses he wouldn't be able to get sick leave so easily anymore, but he wouldn't be taking such a big risk every time he goes into a Hollow or comes into contact with ether in any way. Hell, maybe if he was just a normal guy, he'd have a more normal job. It's kinda weird for him to imagine himself just having a mundane desk job or something, but maybe if he hadn't ever been sick, that's where he'd be.

Outside of work, maybe he'd go out a bit more? What kinds of fun hobbies could he have had? Maybe he could've still gotten into archery regardless, but at the same time, maybe he would've ended up liking some other sport more? Who knows, maybe in another life he would've been a pro... skater, maybe? Something else fun like that? Hell, who knows, maybe he would've somehow gotten into something really slow and methodical like crochet instead of some super intense hobby. There's really so many possibilities it's almost paralyzing.

I also think that, somewhere deep down, although he'd never acknowledge it, Harumasa's mind does linger a lot on what it'd be like to have a family. Of course, for him, something like that is impossible, and if not impossible then it'd certainly be dangerous, but it doesn't stop him. He just can't help but think about what it'd be like being someone's life partner, being a dad and watching his kid grow up, growing old with someone... but that's all nothing more than a childish fantasy for someone who may not be among the living anymore within the next few years.

In short, I do believe he probably, whether he wants or likes to, thinks about who he could be without his illness a lot and I do think it really messes with him sometimes. :(

In extra short, this man really needs and absolutely deserves the world; and a hug, a big hug.

[muminshoom]

I saw someone say that Asaba Harumasa’s supposed ethereal corruption condition being similar to David Martinez’s cyberpsycho from Cyberpunk: Edgerunners and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.

[blueblurseptember]

anyway, this photo scares me bc there's nothing hoyoverse hates more than two happy siblings