#i only think about them and the last episode

[lesbianalicent]

you can think whatever you want about lottie's death but you can't deny that it's not another example of how the show treats their woc. like, explain to me what has happened to taissa's character and why her entire story has been whittled down to nothing but her white ex gf. explain to me where the hell simone and sammy have gone meanwhile callie gets upped to a series regular. this has been a problem that i have been talking about since last season was literally airing. taissa's literal wife and son reduced to a single phone call in the first episode and the career that was her entire driving force in s1 to a throwaway line.

it doesn't make sense and it's also fucking boring. taivan is literally my favorite pairing and they're afraid to do anything interesting with them. tai has no plot outside of van and van has no plot outside of tai. it took one episode for them to get back together. that's so BORING. and yes marking people for murder is boring when we could have gotten taissa clinging to her carefully constructed perfect life by her fingernails. you could argue part of that is because i'm sure sammy's actor has grown up considerably, but simone? and this show looooves recasting their minor characters, they really couldn't have just recast him? be so serious.

but jeff needs to donate shit to goodwill and randy needs to doordash on his scooter, right? we need to throw away characters who have been there since season one to make room for more white characters, right?

"it's only episode four, give them time!" i have been giving them time since season two.

[thealexchen]

Why Dontnod's games feel original and inspired (and why Deck Nine's games don't)

So, I've talked at length about how Double Exposure feels much more like a corporate product than a playable piece of art entertainment [My initial thoughts on the DE trailer] [My thoughts on the early access paywall] [My thoughts on the weird marketing].

But now with the release of Lost Records, I feel like I have no choice but to confront the question: were any of Deck Nine's games truly original or inspired in any way? And honestly, I have to say no.

Objectively, I could say it's because Deck Nine literally has not produced any original IP's since their rebrand from Idol Minds in 2017. Their only narrative adventure games are all part of the LiS franchise. But even their most original game, True Colors, pretty obviously follows the first game's narrative formula (young woman with a superpower investigates a sudden disappearance/death in a small town with a dark secret, has two opposite sex love interests, learns about a twist villain, is nearly murdered, and goes through a psychological nightmare in the last episode) to a tee. But oh look, there's also a LARP!

But I believe there's more to it than that, because when I look at Dontnod's games, they are always inspired by other works. Life is Strange 1 plays very clear homage to Twin Peaks with the Pacific Northwest setting and Rachel Amber resembling Laura Palmer. Max Caulfield is named after the protagonist of The Catcher in the Rye, another novel about the fleeting innocence of childhood and superficiality of society. Life is Strange borrows tropes from Donnie Darko, Groundhog Day, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, Stand By Me, and even Blue is The Warmest Color for its themes and plot points. Just take a look at its "Shout-out" page on TV Tropes. And the result is... something completely original, with riveting plot twists, memorable characters, and an ending that will make you cry.

This shouldn't make sense, right? You'd think this big soup of references would turn into an indistinguishable mess of cliches, but Life is Strange managed to be a synthesis of everything the writers loved and were inspired by, to become something completely new. Why? Because nobody had tried to take Twin Peaks, Donnie Darko, and The Catcher in the Rye and turn it into a video game before! And make it gay!

The point being, Dontnod consistently makes original material because they take creative risks. This is definitely not done lightly, since they still need to be a company that generates profit, but they still prioritize making art over selling out. Their stories feel inspired because they are inspired; when writers love what they're writing about, the result is a passion project that has loving, clever nods to all the works that are woven into it.

So perhaps a way to reword that first question is to then ask, "Have Deck Nine's games ever been inspired by anything?" And unfortunately, the answer is still no. Instead, they just copy what they hope will sell well. And a bland imitation for the sake of generating profit is never going to produce anything that feels original.

This takes me back to Lost Records, which is also clearly inspired by the same works: Twin Peaks, It: Chapter One, The Craft, The Blair Witch Project, The Goonies, Stand By Me. But again, no other game studio besides Dontnod has ever looked at these works and thought, "But what if it starred teenage lesbians instead?" Or, more specifically: "How do we capture the spirit of what made these media great and incorporate that into a new story for a new audience?" And those characters have so much thought and care poured into them too: while I've been disappointed that Double Exposure Max looks airbrushed to hell and back, I love that the Bloom & Rage girls have asymmetrical faces, acne, freckles, body hair, skin discoloration, and diverse body types. Double Exposure is marketed as nostalgia bait for fans, where Max is reduced to a prettied-up, polished-up, representation of nostalgia, not even her own character anymore, in a game that otherwise has no connection to the original. Her quips are reduced to "Hey! Remember our good ol', dad-joke cracking, dorky Max Caulfield??" and her grief is shoved aside for "Hey, look at that appealing new love interest! Because we knoooow y'all love your sapphic romance, right?"

By contrast, Lost Records has only been out for 10 days, but I already feel like the girls are some of the most memorable characters I've come across in gaming for the niche they fill. Swann seems like your typical Max-like dork, except she's also a movie buff and giddy about bugs, horror, and the paranormal; and has clearly been affected by her mother's fatphobic beliefs. Autumn is a level-headed leader who always stuck to her desire to help others, and her Blackness naturally informs her desire to feel valued and not cause trouble in a small, very white, conservative town. Nora intrigues me so much for going from a fun-loving rebel punk teen to a more gender-conforming, capitalist-leaning, influencer businesswoman. And Kat feels like an evolution of Chloe's cynicism, where her scrappy charm belies an almost unsettling obsession with the occult and a deep, tragic chasm of rage at having to confront her mortality far too young. They make sense. They feel carefully written, genuine, and like real people.

But most of all, Dontnod's games have never felt like products. In fact, most of their characters have historically gone against the grain of what traditionally "marketable" characters are. The first LiS took all these aforementioned stories about straight white men and chose to remix and retell it through the eyes of a young, queer, time-traveling girl instead. Tell Me Why is the first AAA game with a trans protagonist, and Tyler is voiced by a trans actor in all the language dubs. Lost Records decided that it would tell its story through four queer teenage girls, with women writers onboard, and fucking own it. As long as Dontnod keeps making games that stick to their creative integrity, I'll keep respecting their vision in whatever they decide to create next. Also, maybe I should finally watch Twin Peaks.

Thank you for reading!

[jesterkoops]

It’s really funny to me to see people suddenly going all SHOCKED PIKACHU after this episode with the realisation that the show will have to address how Helena being complicit in Gemma’s.. whatever it is is going on down there has repercussion for Mark and Helly's (and Helena's) relationship. And saying this suddenly changes how they see Mark and Helly’s relationship and HELLY BAD! NO MORE HELLY FOR MARK! NO!

Really?? It took THIS episode for you to realise this was literally going to be THE major point of conflict for them?? I remember finishing the rewatch before this season began and saying this very thing to my friends. Why else would they even make MarkHelly a thing and reveal she was Helena in the very next episode, if that’s not precisely where this was going to go? This episode hasn’t really changed how I see Mark and Helly/Helena’s relationship at all, because for me it was a given all along this was bound to come up. It was literally THE thing that shot my interest in their dynamic through the roof, when before I was like "meh, another workplace romance between leads". There was literally nothing in this latest episode that changed how I see any of these dynamics. The specifics of whether Gemma was braindead, or alive, or cryogenically frozen, or what have you has no impact on the fact that Helena is to some degree complicit in all this (to what degree, and just how much she actually knows, is still TBD; she's still such a mystery - I have another post about this in the works).

And what baffles me is that some seem to think that the people who came up with THIS show couldn’t possibly find a way to develop this that hasn’t yet occurred to us. "Well, I can't see any other way this ends if not with Mark getting Gemma back, and Helena evil/sacrificing herself for Mark and Gemma/dead" (or something along those lines). Like, sure, that's the most logical conclusion and THAT is what intrigues me: what am I missing that these writers have up their sleeves? It baffles me that it took ONE episode for some to be willing to strip away the entire complexity of the show and the innies/outies dichotomy and the moral and empathy dilemma it is supposed to force upon us through Mark acting as a 'conduit' for the audience.

Pitting up the two relationships against each other as one being superior to the other trivialises innies and their feelings the same way Lumon does. You can't on one hand feel empathy for Gemma's multiple innies and consider their feelings as valid and the impact they have on Gemma and in the same breath dismiss innie Mark's and Helly's feelings as childish and unimportant.

Being able to dismiss innie Mark's feelings as unimportant or inferior to outie Mark's feelings is an easy solution to the struggle reintegration is supposed to present. Take away that struggle, and you remove what's narratively interesting about reintegration.

Along these lines, the last few days I realised that Gemma HAD to be alive for this to be interesting because her being actually dead gives Mark (and consequently the audience) an easy way out. If the whole point of reintegration involves Mark dealing with the fact that he merged a part of him that loves Gemma with a part of him that never did and loves someone else instead... well, if Gemma is actually gone, that doesn't pose much of a challenge for Mark, does it? If Gemma were gone, his predicament would be the same as any other widower who falls in love again. But if she's alive, he has to actually wrestle with the two parts of himself that pull him in two different directions and want two different lives.

And we circle back to point 2: the only way point 3 is narratively interesting is if innie Mark's feelings are just as strong and important and valid as outie Mark's feelings.

And, to a lesser extent, for his feelings to be as strong and important and valid, Helena CANNOT just be a straight up villain because then we would circle back to point 3; it would be the equivalent of Gemma being dead. It would strip the dilemma from Mark because it would be easy for him to dismiss his feelings for her/Helly.

I admit, this is a very very tricky situation to navigate for the writers to avoid falling into cliches and to wrap it up in a way that's original and satisfying. But it's ridiculous to be definitive about an endgame at this stage when there is still so much story to go through. You are literally jumping the gun and reaching conclusions while missing a ton of information and development still.

[stradakiev]

Ok I’ll talk about it

I love this idea and agree with it soooooooo much and it’s my favorite Martha take ever

From Martha’s first story Smith and Jones she is figuring things out as if the doctor would without first seeing the doctor do it. She talks about how the windows aren’t exactly air tight and that there must be something keeping the air in. She figures out the genetic transfer, gets the Jadoon to catch the plasmavore, and brings the doctor back so he can fix the scanner. If you want to dig deeper with this episode the doctor is not introduced as his character he is John smith and Martha is studying to be a doctor. Foreshadowing she will play his role at the end of the season.

We don’t see much of this in the second episode because it her out of here element for real this time and she’s taking it in but still a very active character in the story.

Gridlock we get to see Martha separated from the doctor and kidnapped onto the highway. Martha is the one descending to the lower lanes and learning the stories of the sounds at the bottoms and putting the pieces together. It’s her quick thinking to turn the engines off to save them until the city was open by the doctor and they could drive up.

Daleks take manhattan and evolution of the daleks is when we see Martha start to boss the doctor around. Unlike other companions we’ve seem Martha spends a lot of her initial time traveling with the doctor actually away from him. When the doctor wants to just go off and see why the daleks changed their minds she asks if he’s just going to leave Hooverville to die. She is the one thinking of how to keep people alive like a doctor like the doctor. I like to think that the doctor hiding from the daleks behind Martha is symbolic of the doctor hiding from his grief and in many ways responsibilities and becoming more reckless while Martha holds things together.

The Lazarus experiment- the only part of this episode I want to focus on is the ending. The doctor suggests “one more trip” and she tells him she’s not going to keep doing it like that and that it’s either a full time passenger or good bye and the doctor agrees to it. Her being the one to have the power to chose to travel with him and be a full time companion makes her fulfill the role of the doctor as she decides who will be traveling in the tardis and he agrees like a companion typically does to an invitation.

42 her and the doctor are again apart for most of the episode and once the doctor has saved Martha he is possessed for the rest of the time while Martha cools his temperature and ejects the fuel from the sun saving both the day and the doctors life. So again companion doctor reversal once the doctor has saved her from imminent death.

Human nature and the family of blood- do I need to go into it? The doctor literally turns into a human and leaves everything up to Martha so she is the doctor for the episode and is the only one using the tardis (we’ve never seen her touch the console this much).

Blink- my man isn’t processing his grief with rose and now is separated from his ship. I can only imagine how much he was struggling. Martha was keeping them afloat with her job in the shop.

Utopia and the sound of drums!!! You can see Martha this whole episode just process more and more how poorly she’s been treated by the doctor by the way he interacts with jack and the stories of rose. She moves the story around narratively with the watch which. From here to where he family is kidnapped in the next episode (and we get the iconic scene of her yelling at the doctor) she is transforming herself through her actions until when she finally uses the vortex manipulator (the first type of time travel she has used by herself) she becomes the doctor.

Last of the time lords Martha is fully acting in the doctor role walking the whole worlds by herself without a weapon spreading a message of home. Her message is the doctor but in that moment she is the doctor. She embodies everything he is while he is removed from having control in the story.

I think the sound of drums/last of the time lords is Martha’s version of dark water/death in heaven. Martha is a lot more emotionally healthy than Clara and also has a live she has dreams for on earth so she chooses to leave. Martha has to cope with the consequences of becoming the doctor so she becomes a unit soldier I think to cope with how she has changed fundamentally but it also nicely brings those two lives together for our successful Queen. Whereas Clara becomes the doctor and no longer has anything or any dreams connecting her to earth to she toxically spirals out until she dies and then becomes not human so we love our toxic queen too

So basically I like to call season 3 the season the doctor was numbing his grief with reckless decisions, straight up not existing, and he’s classic running from it with adventures bc they have a savior complex. He got away with falling apart this much for a whole season bc Martha is a queen and held shit together.

Clara becomes the Doctor but can we talk about how Martha is also the Doctor. Besides being an actual doctor, she also becomes a soldier and tries to justify it to herself. She went through hell and saved the earth and bore that weight alone, and was never thanked for it. In the Doctors Daughter she is forced to watch as her Hath "companion" sacrifices themself for her and dies horribly, and she has to leave them behind. Is this thing on

[onehundredthousandflies]

(De)Compression

Spencer x gn!autistic!Reader (use of y/n)

Words: 2,080

Summary: Spencer comes home from work find gn!autistic!Reader going through an overstimulation meltdown from a difficult day at your own job. With an abundance of patience and love, he helps you calm down.... by laying on top of you.

CW: unspecified timeline, no series spoilers, Reader is not described other than having hair, Vague mentions of sex, nonsexual intimacy, Reader has an autistic meltdown and temporarily goes nonverbal, Spencer redirects Reader's potentially self-harming stim, Spencer uses body contact preasure therapy on Reader

Not all autistic people are going to relate to this. Not all autistic people have nonverbal episodes, have meltdowns in this manner, or stim this way. I do, though. This is the most self-indulgent fic to have ever self indulged. Reader is me, and I want Spencer to squish the anxiety out of me with his body.

Click the Read More or read on A03.

The red Persian rug in Spencer's apartment had probably been through a lot. With the way you paced erratically up and down your boyfriend's living room, however, you were certainly putting its durability to the test. His downstairs neighbors were probably concerned if, of course, they could hear your distressed hums and the sound of your hands repeatedly slapping against your thighs as you stomped across the floor. The fact that you were probably leaving bruises on yourself was the farthest thing from your mind.

You looked at the clock on the wall. 5:15.

Please come home, Spencer was all you could manage to think at the moment.  When you'd first gotten off of work, your only wish was to be alone in silence, away from the stresses of the overwhelming sights and sounds of your job.  But now, every moment you were left with your own thoughts was a moment that made your nerves hum and tingle even more loudly than the moment before.

You looked at the clock again, feeling as though it must have been at least half an hour since you last checked the time.

5:20

You groaned loudly and started scratching the back of your neck, but stopped when you remembered the pained look on Spencer's face last time he’d seen the angry red marks left from the last time you engaged in that particular stimming behavior. You opted instead to flap your hands beside your head, occasionally running your hand across your face as you continued to pace back and forth.

You knew he would be home soon. After a string of particularly grueling cases, Spencer's unit had been promised by the section chief that they would have the rest of the regular business week to stay at the BAU and catch up on reports. But your mind had a tendency to catastrophize against your will, especially on days like today where the very existence of the universe overwhelmed your every sense.

What if he'd been called away to some city across the country? What if it was another bad case like the last one, where it had taken them an entire week to hunt down a religious fanatic serial arsonist? What if he got hurt or held hostage or abducted again? What if...

You froze when you heard familiar footsteps coming up the stairs and stopping just outside the door.  You heard keys jingling and Spencer muttering something to himself.  You couldn't make out the words, but something about his tone seemed off in a way you couldn't discern.

Was he tired?  Was he frustrated?  Would he be upset when he walked throughout the door to find you having a meltdown in his living room when all he probably wanted to do after coming home from a long day was relax?

The thought of Spencer, your sweet, brave, caring, strong, gentle, handsome Spencer being even the slightest bit unhappy with you made your stomach feel like it was falling through the void.  Your hand waiving intensified, and your distressed hums grew louder.

As soon as you saw him, though, his face softened from whatever scowl he'd had before coming inside.  Still, you trembled slightly until he smiled softly.

"Hey, Y/N," he greeted while taking off his jacket and satchel bag to hang them on the coatrack by the door.  "Are you okay?"

You rapidly shook your head, and your hand waiving switched to slapping the front of your shoulders in a way you were only vaguely aware was painful.

"No," Spencer's voice was gentle but firm, "Y/N, stop."  He slowly moved your hands away from your body, allowing you to continue to waive them while still holding them.  "You can wave your hands all you need to, but I cannot let you hit yourself."

Eventually, your movements slowed enough that he felt safe releasing your hands, but as soon as he did, your fingers itched from the inside for something tactile.  You needed to touch something, preferably Spencer.

Typically during periods of overstimulation like this, physical touch was off limits; it felt like bugs crawling across your skin, the effects of which could linger for hours and make you shudder whenever you thought about it.  But with Spencer, it was different.  Not only did his touch make you feel safe and grounded, but he knew how to touch you in ways that didn't trigger every emergency alert signal in your nervous system.

You stepped towards him, hands still moving in the air between you, and started softly patting his chest with open palms.

He laughed, but not at you.  It was a warm, welcoming laugh that soothed both your heart and your nerves like sinking into a warm bath.

"What do you need right now, Sweetheart?"

You knew exactly what you needed, but looking for the words and making your voice say them was like playing scrabble and being one letter short of the word you wanted to spell.  So instead of answering verbally, you silently butted your head against Spencer's shoulder, wrapped your arms around his waist, and squeezed.

Spencer squeezed back, not too tightly at first, just testing your tolerance level.  To encourage him, you squeezed tighter, and he responded in kind. 

"Is this what you need?" He asked.  "Or do you need full preasure?"

Still unable to manage a verbal response, you released your hold around him.  You took him by the hand and practically dragged him towards the bedroom.

"Okay," he said, any you could hear the smile in his voice.

Once in the bedroom, you gracelessly flopped onto the bed and laid on your back.  You watched Spencer take off his tie and kick off his shoes, all the while smiling sweetly down at you.

"Comfortable?" he asked.

You nodded in response.  Eager for the weight of his body on yours, you held out your arms and made grabbed at the empty air.

Spencer understood the message and climbed into bed.  He kept his weight off of you at first, hovering over you with his knees between your parted legs and his hands beside your shoulders. 

You giggled at the thought of how intimate this position was, despite the fact that this particular form of intimacy had nothing to do with sex.  Sure, you both enjoyed that aspect of your relationship, but the ritual happening now was far more intimate than that.

"Happy?"  He kept his questions short and pointed: easier for you to process and respond to.

You nodded "yes."

"What do you do if you want me off?"

You reached up and gave his unruly chestnut hair a gentle tug.

Satisfied that the safe signal had been established, he slowly and carefully lowered himself down until the full weight of his body pressed you down into the soft mattress below you.  He firmly pinned your arms to the side with his and turned his head away from you, knowing that his breath on your neck could be uncomfortable.

You closed your eyes and breathed in the familiar comforting scent of the man pressed into to, mentally breaking down each note.  Sandalwood essential oil from his homemade laundry detergent, rosemary and lavender from his organic deodorant, the chemically artificial citrus from the airfreshener at the BAU, printer paper, oversweetened coffee, and something underneath it all that was uniquely and naturally Spencer.  Then, as you breathed out, your breath carried with it all the tension and pent-up nervous energy of the day. 

The steady rhythm of Spencer's heartbeat calmed your own, and your breathing synced up with his.  You inhaled as he exhaled and vice versa, all the while the warmth and weight of his body grounded your mind into a calm and steady hum as opposed to the cacophony of tangled thoughts it had been before Spencer got home.

Comfortable as you were, eventually your chest began to ache and your arms began to feel stiff.  You wriggled one arm out from under Spencer and tugged at his hair.

Silently and without hesitation, he eased himself off of you and settled onto his side facing you.

"Everything okay?"

You nodded and decided to at least try to speak.  "M'okay," You managed to mumble.  "That was nice."

"Good," he said and sat up on the edge of the bed.  "When was the last time you drank water?"

You opened your mouth to answer, but quickly closed it again because you honestly couldn't remember.  On your lunch break, maybe?  You didn't know, but now that Spencer had mentioned it, you did feel quite thirsty.

Spencer teasingly rolled his eyes.  "I'll go get you some.  Do you want ice?"

You shook your head and watched him leave the bedroom, leaving the door slightly ajar behind him.

With Spencer out of the room, you instantly felt restless again.  Needing something to occupy you, you got up and picked up Spencer's disguarded tie, royal purple with lavender pinstripes, from the top of the dresser where he'd left it.  You hung it up on the proper tie hanger in the closet, making sure it went with the other purple ones.  You let your fingers linger on the fabric, enjoying the cool, smooth sensation of the silk against your skin. 

You got so fixated on the fabric texture that you almost didn't notice Spencer returning with a glass of water.

You smiled as he handed it to you, and you drank nearly half of it before stopping.

"You know," Spencer said, taking the cup and setting it down on the end table on your side of the bed, "dehydration can lead to irritability, fatigue, emotional disregulation, and impaired cognitive functions such as concentration and working memory. Sensory overstimulation already causes these problems in people with autism, which means when you don't drink enough water, you're only compounding the issue."

You sighed and rubbed the back of your neck, wincing slightly as you agitated the scratch you'd made there earlier.  "I know.  I'm sorry."

"I'm not upset," he assured you, and kissed your forehead.  "I know it's not always something you can control.  For now, why don't you lay back down?  I'll join you in a minute and we can rest for a while before we start on dinner, okay?"

Once again, you only nodded.  Words were still difficult, and he seemed to understand. 

He undressed down to his dark blue boxer-briefs while you got comfortable in bed.

"So what was the trigger today?" He asked as he pulled a tshirt and pair of plaid pajama pants from the dresser drawers.

You groaned into the pillow at the memory.  "One of my coworkers touched my arm which already had me on edge.  Then there was a fire alarm test and I guess I must have missed the warning announcement, because I wasn't expecting it.  My boss had me finishing a time-sensitive project, so I couldn't take a break to decompress. I had to mask for two whole hours even before the crowded, loud, smelly buss home made it worse."

Spencer listened intently to you account of your day while he dressed.  He was now wearing one of your favorites among his science joke tshirts.  It had a cartoonish picture of a beaker of water with arms and legs lifting dumbells with the text, "Why did the acidic water get a gym membership?  It wanted to be a buffer solution."

"I'm sorry that happened, Sweetheart," he said, climbing into bed next to you.  He didn't reach out for you at first.  Instead, he waited for you to initiate.  You rolled over and curled into him, and only then did he let his arm drape loosely over your waist.

"So what happened at the BAU today?" You asked.  "You were grumbling about something when you got home."

Spencer let out an exasperated sigh.  "Another team broke protocol during a takedown, which resulted in a hostage being injured.  Now everyone's takedown reports dating back for a month are being scrutinized, and several reports from my team had to be re-submitted."

"That sucks."

"Yeah, but I'm not worried about that right now.  I just want to lay here with you and relax."

You nuzzled into his chest and again took comfort in the feeling of his heartbeat.  "Me too."

The two of you laid there in comfortable silence until you decided to order in instead of cooking.  And if you took an accidental nap while waiting for dinner to arrive, Spencer never said so.

[thursdayinspace]

Since yesterday was the anniversary of the Sushi episode (Rm9sbG93ZXJz — yes, I just looked it up), here's a little ficlet, set after they came out of that warehouse. I was in need of some fluff, and also I love that episode. tagging @today-in-fic and @poangpals

Somehow, the night seems less quiet all of a sudden as they step back out into the street. It’s almost as if the world has been holding its breath, seeing how this was going to play out. Reality on hold. The nightly noises are back now, wind rustling the leaves, even their steps sounding less hollow. She feels almost dizzy, a little like waking up from a really strange dream. The world feels shaky, not quite solid under her feet.

Mulder sighs deeply next to her and stops walking. She stops too, turning sideways to face him.

“Was that all real?” he asks.

“I think so.”

“Of all the strange things we’ve seen…” He laughs softly.

“That was definitely among the strangest, yes.” She laughs with him, shaking her head. “Remember those times I used to call your theories science fiction?”

“The ones you didn’t call outright crazy.”

“Yeah.”

His smile is soft. “Yeah. I remember.” He pauses for a second before he continues. “So. What happens next?”

She has no idea. But there’s always the safe option. “I should probably go home. I’m pretty tired.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

He smiles at her and she feels her heart beating faster in her chest. The truth is, she wasn’t entirely sure at the beginning of this evening whose house she was going to end up in. Neither one of them had said the word, but that had been a date tonight. She’s sure of it. And if it hadn’t ended so abruptly, if one of them had said something… Her face falls as realization hits her. “Oh.”

“What?” he asks.

“I can’t go home. My house blew up.”

“You—Oh. Right.”

“I should…” She hesitates. “I should probably check on the state of it. To see if there’s anything there left to salvage.”

“Do yo want me to come with you?”

She doesn’t want to go at all. It seems oddly tempting to just forget about it, to pretend it didn’t happen. Honestly, if it burned down then it burned down. She didn’t really have anything of great value in there. Nothing she would really, truly miss, most of her personal items left behind in boxes at Mulder’s house because she didn’t want the reminder of their happier times. Truth be told, she never liked her new place. “You parked your car in front of my house.”

“Yeah.”

“Can you call us a cab? One with a real human driver.”

“Don’t you want to get your phone back first?”

She sighs. “You’re right.”

Everything is where they dumped it earlier and they gather their possessions—she leaves only the vibrator behind.

He calls them a cab. They’re quiet on the way to her house, both of them exhausted. When she gets out in front of what used to be her home, he follows her. There’s a last, lone fire truck there, and she chooses to stand and wait and process as Mulder goes to talk to whoever is in charge. She says nothing until he gets back to her.

“Well,” she says.

“Shit,” he says.

That describes it pretty well.

There isn’t a whole lot left.

She sighs and wraps her arms around herself. “I think I need a place to sleep.”

“You have a place to sleep,” he says simply.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

She doesn’t have an answer to that question.

**

He drives them back to his house. She feels like she should say something, but even if she wasn’t very attached to her place, being pretty much homeless all of a sudden is not a great feeling.

“I’m sorry, Scully,” Mulder says quietly.

“It’s just… strange, not having a home.”

“You have a home.”

It seems he has made it his mission to state simple facts tonight. She has no idea what to say, but they’re pulling up in front of his house at that moment, and so she gets out of the car and waits for him at the foot of the porch steps. He takes his time joining her there. She knows he’s waiting for her reaction but she’s tired and none of her defenses are in place, and if she speaks now she’ll tell him how she feels, and then he’ll know.

So she watches as he locks the car and makes his slow way over to her. She follows him up the steps, into the house, stands and waits as he closes the door behind them. When he turns to look at her, she forgets to be exhausted, she forgets everything that happened.

His eyes on her are all that matters in the world. The softness in his gaze, the way he stands facing her, solid and unmoving, ready for her to step into his arms and be safe there.

She has never loved anyone this way. Nobody else has even come close.

And she’s done, she’s just done. The world is a mess. But she has something to hold onto. He’s here, he’s right here, and she can’t breathe for a second. She doesn’t believe in fate, but she’s so tired she’s just going to accept it as a sign from the universe that her house blew up after she failed to kiss him after their date. A huge fucking neon sign from the universe, an arrow pointing right at him, flashing letters saying “kiss him, you fucking coward.”

So she does.

She realizes she still hasn’t said anything to him. “You have a home,” he told her, and she’s been looking at him in silence ever since. She hopes he understands that this is her answer.

With a few steps she closes the distance between them and pulls him down into a kiss. He kisses her back immediately, wrapping his arms tightly around her, and yeah, he’s right, she has a home.

She has him.

“Stay,” he whispers against her lips.

She smiles into the next kiss. “I don’t think I have any other choice right now.”

“No.” He pulls back, his eyes amused and hopeful at the same time. “I meant for longer than just tonight.”

“Oh.” She waits for her mind to start screaming at her that this is a bad idea. For the panic to set in. It doesn’t happen. “Yeah.”

He carries her up to bed for no other reason than that he wants to, and she wants him to. She falls asleep in his arms and wakes up there as well.

It feels like being home. Maybe that’s okay.

[picturejasper20]

Speculation on Danny Phantom: Fair Game

With the premise and cover art of Fair Game getting released recently, i would like to do some general analysis of things i noticed and maybe how this could be tied to the graphic novel's plot.

First of all the premise is in part about how Danny is seen as an enemy in Amity Park because in this timeline ghosts were blamed for the asteroid event happening.

This already gives a lot of vibes to the episode ¨Public Enemies¨, when Walker tricks the whole city into thinking that Danny is their enemy. It is also the episode that Wulf was introduced and became an ally for Danny.

This is another important aspect because Fair Game has Wolf being one of the protagonists of the book by asking Danny for help with looking for a ¨wolf cub¨ of his (who is very likely Danielle).

Speaking of Danielle, her part of the cover shares a lot similarities with the title card of episode ¨The Million Dollar Ghost¨

In ¨The Million Dollar Ghost¨ has Danny being hunted by tons of ghosthunters that were payed by Vlad as a distraction while he steals the Fenton Portal.

In the Fair Game premise it describes Danielle being chased down by Danny's classmates to hunt her, much like it the Million Dollar Ghost episode happens to Danny.

Maybe we could see some parallels or references in Fair Game to The Million Dollar Ghost episode if the book cover is makes reference to that.

Another thing one can notice from the book cover is that story mostly seems like it going to take place in a nearby forest.

This reminds me a lot of ¨Claw of the Wild¨ episode, that takes place in a camp in a forest too. In addition to this, it happens to be an episode in which Wulf is a protagonist.

Other episode that takes place in the wilderness is ¨Maternal Instincs¨ with Danny and Maddie as protagonists. However, i think ¨Claw of the Wild¨ episode makes more sense in here since Wulf is a central character in Fair Game.

On last point, Fair Game starts both Valerie and Danielle as protagonists in the story, with i assume would be Valerie as part of plot A and Danielle as plot B.

One's mind quickly jumps to the Season 3 episode ¨D-Stabilized¨, which has Valerie meeting Danielle and in the end her helping with saving Dani from Vlad.

Both Danielle and Valerie get some good development in this episode and it is last time they both have an important role since the episode that follows it is the series finale.

Despite being recognized as one of the best episodes in the series, one issue that the fans have with D-Stabilized is that the plot that sets up at the end with Valerie learning about Vlad being Plasmius never got a proper conclusion within the show. Not only that, Valerie didn't get a satisfying conclusion for her character arc neither nor getting a proper scene when she learns that Danny is Phantom.

So what i could see happening is that the events of D-Stabilized are going to play a crucial role in the plot of Fair Game. We are very likely going to get some form of conclusion for Valerie's character arc that the series didn't give her.

What i'm curious about is that if Vlad could play some secondary plot in this novel since his character is both tied to Valerie and Danielle's. If there is one thing i would like to see is Vlad having a conversation with them and apologizing for the way he treated them if he is still trying to make amends.

Both Valerie and Danielle need to have some form of closure with Vlad, specially Valerie because the series set up for that plotline that was never given continuation.

These would be the parallels i found with the new things that have been revealed of Fair Game and some of the ideas of what i think the story of the novel could go. If more gets revealed later on i could make another post like this one.

[spizgany-lipejs]

I think the romance between Hans and Henry gripped me so much not only because it's genuinely beautifully written and woven into the story. Because it is, in the end the romance between them feels like the most natural conclusion to the journey they were on since Hans first took offense to a bold peasant, and I can't remember the last time watching two people fall in love felt so genuine and real.

But what really sealed my fate when it comes to these two is that it feels like I waited for this romance to happen since I can remember. It might sound silly but this is the conclusion I was waiting for since I first saw an episode of Merlin when I was 11. The series ended at a less than satisfying note, and it was not a time when anyone would genuinely hope for any romantic conclusion to Arthur and Merlin's story. But Hans and Henry's relationship in KCD1 followed their trajectory to such an extent that I was prepared for another wholesome platonic male friendship moment even if honestly the signs were there. István and Erik's relationship was explicitly stated in the game and I never felt that it was a joke, something made up to humiliate the enemy or blame failure on sodomy. (Hello the Długosz entry of unknown origin blaming the lost battle at Varna on the King spending too much time fucking men). I cannot overstate my disbelief and delight at learning that finally this romance would get an official, canon conclusion. And for it to be so well handled, incorporated so nicely, feeling so raw and true and genuine. It's silly but these two are so important to me I'm never letting those two queer czechs go.

Often in games with multiple romance options that have any care put into them there's one or two that feel just a bit more canon. Be it more content, more (obvious, straightforward) connection to the main story, it doesn't make them canon and other options less important but it's there. I never expected Hans Capon to be this option for Kingdom Come damn Deliverance. And I'm delighted. Because warhorse didn't leave any substance for any argument that this romance is shoehorned in or less valid or out of the blue. Any argument against them is fueled by pure homophobia and bigotry. It would be anyway but they've got no tools to obfuscate. And if they cry about historical accuracy they can first bring me supporting material in Czech.

[anpanman95]

Okay so I couldn’t wait for this I’m sorry. I need to talk about it because we might not get any answers any time soon — so I’ll create them.

Bear with me for a little while

Who is behind this?

My first suspect is Boss, for obvious reasons, but let’s think about it a little more.

Aside from the fact Yinwar are not that predictable, Boss has literally no motive to go after Jack/Joke at all, even if he hates them. He shouldn’t have any reason to want to hurt them cause his main desire is power. Money and power. How will he get power and money by kidnapping/keeping Joke hostage?

So here is my other guess. I’m sorry if this ruffles some feathers, but literally anyone could be behind this, knowing what Yinwar are capable of.

Apologies in advance, I’m gonna be brutal.

I suspect Nang and Rose

I know, I know, just hear me out

1. No auspicious date? Tragedy? I stand with Joke when he said “this is simply ridiculous”

Do you remember the last time Yinwar introduced a crazy, ridiculous idea (The Ring and its “power”), that ended up being false? (It was all a game from the Four Horsemen).

“you are also enemies” ?

My friend, they have literally never been enemies. Joke has never seen Jack as his enemy, not once. And Jack had never stopped caring for Joke, either. He had just been driven by anger and pain.

I understand they care a lot about this kind of thing in their culture, but the reasons P’Nang gave were simply not good enough. Telling them their union might become in tragedy? Why? Because they are enemies? They are NOT. They are literally NOT.

(my poor baby Jack fully believing it and Joke being outraged is the most accurate thing)

“You can’t be together” ?!? You’re telling me they’ve been engaged for a YEAR, and you choose this moment to tell them not to do it? Why are you dragging this out? Are you staling, perhaps??

I SAY SUS.

2. Rose not being helpful AT ALL.

I know she doesn’t really have any power, but what the fuck has she done to help them in this episode?

Girl did not lift one single finger except to try and hug Jack (yes that bitchy face did not escape me, Khun Rose)

My girl, I love you, but you could have done SO much more to help them. She didn’t do SHIT. Not ONE single useful thing.

Besides, everyone is talking about their loved ones being invited to this place, and then she casually says:

“It belongs to someone POWERFUL. Scarier and richer than Alice” — why would you say all that? Are you perhaps trying to pull them into a trap?

HUH? This brings me to the next one, actually.

3.How did everyone end up at the casino?

Let’s start with Nang’s scene learning how to drive. This scene irks me. She plants the “death” idea in Hoi, scaring him, unchaining the rest of the events.

Now, the rest of them:

Arun’s connection is his dad

Jack (and ultimately Joke)’s connection is grandma.

Hoi’s (and coincidentally Tattoo’s) connection is Nang.

Hoi is now scared

And loops Joke in to it.

More importantly, Nang gives the invitation to Hoi. Why did she give it to him?

Perhaps so he can show it to the rest? Tattoo, who eventually not only connects the dots for everyone to realize it’s a dangerous place, but also makes duplicates for all of them; to Joke, who realizes this might be the place where the stolen files went to, after Tattoo tells them it’s the same address Save sent them.

Also, did Nang go to this place, though? She was invited. Did Hoi tell her not to go? (I assume Jack stopped his grandmother from going. Arun might have done something similar, but then again, I’m not entirely discrediting boss as guilty)

Or did she actually go and we did not see her? You know, driving herself, as she now knows how to?

And WHY does she need to learn how to drive in the first place? And why didn’t we see where that ended? It felt so random, somehow. Does she need it cause she’ll be driving someone somewhere? Huh? Maybe to a house in the middle of nowhere? huh?

Last but not least,

4. Nang’s reaction to Joke ‘dying’

“If he didn’t die then it would have been you, Hoi” Excuse me, again, but why did anyone have to die? This is what I’m not getting.

How did Jack and Joke’s wedding result in someone dying? Is it because you don’t want this wedding to happen? Why could that be? Hmm?

It makes me wonder.

She also officiated the saddest, most depressing wedding of the century, and girl did not shed a single tear for a tragic dead of a friend. Not one single tear. That’s a biased opinion though.

….

Okay, now, why would they do this?

Well, Rose has a very obvious motive, everybody knows she might still have feelings for Jack.

Nang? Well, Nang will always be there for Rose. She cares for her, and let’s be real. They had a whole year to plan this out. Nang is always there for Rose, that much is clear. Even if that means breaking two people apart in the most horrible way.

Maybe they intended Joke to die and worked with carbon. Maybe they didn’t work with carbon and simply took advantage of the events to their benefit. Maybe they intended to abduct Joke all along.

Remember, it could be as simple as the person behind it being Boss, but Arun lives with him and how would he have not noticed his absence? Arun would have told his friends if his father disappeared or left somewhere.

And it doesn’t feel right. To me it wouldn’t make much sense that boss is the one behind this. I don’t think Yinwar will go down that route as it’d be too obvious. And so far, whenever they were obvious about something in the plot, they put it RIGHT on your face.

And another thing:

Joke’s reaction.

Joke looked both shocked and sad.

It leads me to believe it’s someone he knows and hadn’t expected to be there.

Look, I may be obviously wrong and they might be innocent, but I’m going out of my mind with grief at the moment and I need to analyze this shit to the bottom as a way to cope.

So, I know I might be missing a few things as I only watched properly once, so do let me know what you think. There is A LOT MORE to it, but my brain is all scrambled cause I only got these revelations an hour ago.

Do you guys think it makes a least a little bit of sense? Can you guys think of anyone else that might make sense other than Boss?

We can never be 100% sure, truthfully.

But if there’s one thing I do know, it’s that it’d be fucking awesome.

[redgoldsparks]

February Reading and Reviews by Maia Kobabe

I post my reviews throughout the month on Storygraph and Goodreads, and do roundups here and on patreon. Reviews below the cut. You might notice the layout image looks different! I have switched to using the Storygraph wrap up :)

The Baker and The Bard by Fern Haught

A sweet, slight fantasy story focused on friendship. A baker and her friend, an aspiring bard, go on a little adventure into the forest looking for a specific type of mushroom. On the way they encounter some misunderstood magical creatures, a nonbinary fey, and only the smallest amounts of danger and conflict. The gentleness of the story makes it appropriate for, and I believe aimed at, a fairly young audience, definitely middle grade or early reader rather than YA. 

I Shall Never Fall in Love by Hari Conner 

This is a witty, well-written queer romance set in the mid-1800s, England. The story borrows heavily from Emma while still feeling like its own fresh tale, especially because of the inclusion of characters of color, queer characters, and a gender-nonconforming love interest. I was rooting for Eleanor and George all the way; both rooting for them to get together and also rooting for them to find the space to know themselves and express that authentically around the people they love! The art in this book is stunning, with beautiful colors, and so much thoughtful historical research went into the design of the houses, costumes, and world of these characters. Highly recommend, especially if you're a Jane Austen fan. 

Conversations with People Who Hate Me written and read by Dylan Marron 

I picked this book up after loving Dylan Marron's podcast The Redemption of Jar Jar Binks, a 6 episode miniseries that I find myself thinking about all the time. Unfortunately, I do think having listened to that already dented my experience of this book, because I already knew a chunk of the story from the podcast which made listening to the book feel a bit repetitive. However! I still finished and overall enjoyed Conversations with People Who Hate Me, which is about Marron's podcast of the same name, in which he called up folks who had left hateful comments on his youtube videos or facebook and just had a conversation with them. What prompted them to leave a hateful comment? What kind of values impacted how they saw the world? Might they change their mind if they had more evidence? Did they ever expect Dylan Marron to actually see their comment? (The answer to this last was almost always "no.") This is an interesting political moment to think about this project of deliberate, compassionate connection, and Marron is thoughtful about the privilege that allowed him the emotional bandwidth to pursue it.

You and Me, On Repeat by Mary Shyne

Time loop fans, rejoice! Mary Shyne has crafted a clever, gorgeous treasure box of a story. Part coming-of-age, part romance, part sci-fi, all heart. I was drawn in from the very first page, hooked with the stylish art and the intriguing premise. I fell so hard for Chris and Alicia and all of the stupidly teenage and deeply human choices that lead them into a pocket dimension of space-time. Who hasn't wanted a redo option on one of the most important days of their life? What would you do if trapped in a time loop of your high school graduation day? I left the book rooting for these two! I had the pleasure of reading this book early :) It's available for preorder now, or grab it from a bookstore in May 2025! 

You Are a Sacred Place: Visual Poems for Living in Climate Crisis by Madeleine Jubilee Saito

Saito reached a hand into some of my very own darkest climate crisis-induced depressive thoughts and drew me gently back into the light. We are all part of this natural world, and we are meant to be here, and it is good that we are here. Those things can be hard to remember sometimes, but these delicate comics underline their truth. I also got to read this early - It comes out March 25, 2025, so you can reorder it now or find it in bookstores soon.

Hey Mary! by Andrew Wheeler and Rye Hickman

Saints and stories come to vivid life in this compassionate story of a young man learning to balance his sexuality and his faith. For any readers out there trying to find space in their Catholicism for their queerness, I hope this book can light the way. Another one I got to read ahead of it's release! It's out on April 15, so you can preorder or book for it in bookstores and libraries soon.

Akane-Banashi vol 1 by Yuki Suenaga, illustrated by Takamasa Moue translated by Stephan Paul

As a child, Akane watched her father fail out of a program dedicated to training rakugo, traditional Japanese storytellers. Now in high school, she is pursuing the same career under the same teacher. This book has a lot of familiar series-set up elements- a rival older student, a series of fellow trainees, a reluctant mentor- but unfortunate didn't deeply capture me. I'm unsure if I'll continue on with this series.

She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat vol 4 by Sakaomi Yuzaki translated by Caleb Cook

THIS SERIES IS SO FREAKING CUTE! I love how it's diving into some of complicated and logistical realities of being queer in Japan. I also love how supportive the friend group is. Yuri fans you need to pick this up! 

Beautyland by Marie-Helene Bertino 

Adina is born in 1977 to a human mother on Earth; but she is not totally of this world. Some part of her is also an alien, attuned to a planet with a collective consciousness, far away in the stars. Through a lonely childhood in Philadelphia, Adina faxes notes and observations on human life to her far away family. She grows up as the child of a single, working class mother, with few friends, but a fierce commitment to live as her own singular self. I really enjoyed the light-handed prose, the short slice-of-life chapters, and the insightful look at what it feels like to grow up an outsider. Adina reminded me of myself; she reminded me of many of my other oddball, queer, trans, or asexual friends who have always felt out of step with the lives of those around us. It reminded me, yet again, that there is perhaps nothing more human than feeling like an alien among one's peers. 

The Lesson by Cadwell Turnbull read by Janina Edwards and Ron Butler 

Set on St. Thomas in the Virgin Islands, this debut sci-fi novel wrestles with some big and weighty concepts. We are introduced to two families, neighbors, with their own interwoven concerns: a married couple struggling with relationship, a woman questioning her sexuality, a teen questioning her faith, a man yearning for more ambitious career and travel options in middle age. Then an alien ship arrives above the island and the book jumps forward 5 years in time to show how a powerful controlling presence has impacted the lives of everyone on the island. The Ynaa offered advanced medicines and technology to humans in exchange for staying for a time to do an unspecified type of research. But the co-existence is not peaceful: the Ynaa lash out with extreme violence over minor provocations. This tense situation cannot last. There was much to enjoy in this novel, and the audiobook was very well read by two narrators. I did think the final act suffered from some pacing issues, and a second time jump near the end worked much less well for me than the big time jump near the beginning. It was interesting to read this after having read Turnbull's second novel No Gods, No Masters which contains similar themes but with a much more complex story structure and much larger cast. 

The Guy She Was Interested In Wasn’t A Guy At All vol 2 by Sumiko Arai

I'm obsessed with these little rock-n-roll lesbians. This series gives me some similar vibes as Nana except sweeter, sillier, and hopefully heading in a much less tragic direction! The art is to die for, I spent so long just looking at every page in awe. Makes me want to draw more comics!

Marbles: Mania, Depression, Michelangelo and Me by Ellen Forney

This comic has been on my TBR for a decade and I'm so glad I finally picked it up! Forney's cartooning is so clear, articulate and accessible; it really opened up a window for me into the experience of being bipolar. I loved the many creative visual metaphors, the inclusion of sketchbook pages, and the self-compassionate tone. I can see what this book set such an early high standard in the genre of comics memoirs! 

Lone Women by Victor Lavalle read by Joniece Abbott-Pratt

In the opening scene, Adelaide Henry is spreading gasoline through the rooms of her childhood home in a farming valley in California in 1915, and over the bodies of her murdered parents. She leaves California with a rucksack and a steamer trunk, bound for Montana, where a woman alone can claim a plot of land. If she lives on it for at least three years and establishes a farm, she'll become the owner of the parcel. But can she really survive the harsh coming winter, the white supremacy of the nearby town, and the deadly family curse she's carrying? I really enjoyed the audiobook of this novel, but found myself pondering whether or not I felt like it fit into the horror genre, which is the primary genre tag on goodreads. Can a horror book have a happy ending? Is it horror is I don't feel like the narrative voice is trying to horrify me, rather show how marginalized woman can survive, even against extreme odds, by banding together? If I was shelving it I'd more likely to put this in historical fiction. 

The Deep by Rivers Solomon, read by Daveed Diggs 

Yetu is the historian for her underwater society, a group of deep sea merfolk who live in the depths of the Atlantic. She carries all of the memories, beautiful and painful, of their ancestors- pregnant women tossed overboard from ships during the years of slave trading. It is a great honor and a terrible burden to carry these memories, and Yetu thinks it might kill her to carry them alone. When an opportunity comes to leave the memories and her people behind, Yetu takes it. But who is she without her past and her people? I listened to this 4 hour novella on audio and enjoyed it a lot of a mythical alternate history. 

The Hundred Years War on Palestine by Rashid Khalidi

"His Majesty's government view with favour the establishment in Palestine of a national home for the Jewish people, and will use their best endeavours to facilitate the achievement of this object, it being clearly understood that nothing shall be done which may prejudice the civil and religious rights of existing non-Jewish communities in Palestine..." -Lord Arthur Balfour, 1917, statement made on behalf of the British cabinet (page 24)

"For in Palestine we do not propose even to go through the form of consulting the wishes of the present inhabitants of the country... The Four Great Powers are committed to Zionism." -Lord Arthur Balfour, 1919, confidential memo to the British cabinet (page 37)

"'If you wish to colonize a land in which people are already living," [Ze'ev] Jabotinsky wrote in 1925, "you must find a garrison for the land, or find a benefactor who will provide a garrison on your behalf... Zionism is a colonizing venture, and therefore, it stands or falls on the question of armed forces.'" (page 51)

"In a cover letter to [President Woodrow] Wilson, the commissioners presciently warned that 'if the American government decided to support the establishment of a Jewish state in Palestine, they are committing the American people to the use of force in that area, since only by force can a Jewish state in Palestine be established or maintained.' The commission thereby accurately predicted the course of the subsequent century." (page 51-52)

This is an extremely well written, clear, concise book. The author draws extensively from primary source documents going back to 1895. His grandparents, his parents, and his immediate family lived through many of the events he outlines; he personally knew Yassar 'Arafat, long time leader of the PLO; he was an advisor to the negotiations between Israel and the PLO which began in Madrid in 1991 and ran (unsuccessfully) into 1993; he lived in Beirut through weeks of Israel bombardment in 1982; he and his father worked for the United Nations in the 1960s and sat through Security Council meetings on the Arab-Israeli conflict, including a meeting in which an intentional US political delay allowed Israel to make a preemptive attack on Syria. These personal anecdotes enliven what is overall a very grim history of broken treaties, broken promises, and conflict. I pulled the quotes because I want to be able to return to them later, to remind myself how clear it has been since the beginning that Britain and the US considered the Palestinian people necessary and acceptable sacrifices. 

[servinny]

sxf chapter 112.2 spoilers

im starting to get some serious komi can’t communicate deja vu here (from the whole 12 episodes i watched) glad anya is back to herself here considering her shyness in the last chapter, seems she enjoys being ‘starlight anya’ ^^

also love that all the kids at eden just now assume after the damian + bus incidents that anya is an absolutely feral child (they are correct)

case and point #1

and more lore! seems as though septevia is somewhat less developed than westalis/ostania (castle walls, i assume an autocratic monarch from the way he speaks). i hope we see more of septevia outside of these chapter (possibly a mention from loid? id love to see how other countries think about the westalis/ostania conflict)

case and point #2

love the end to this chapter; both becky’s shock at anya as well as damian’s; what a good cliffhanger in terms of seeing how this will affect plan b and the two’s relationship

if only i could have written this yesterday for the writeathon i was apart of 😭 i especially loved the facial expressions endo did here (couldn’t show them all but anya’s feral face should be enough lol), see you all in 2 weeks 👋

[cheekybirb]

toh in general is such a poorly written show that had so much potential but doesn't really live up to it. like tbh i think the idea of the owl house is better then the show was. in hollow mind there could've been the chance to explore belos' character more or his past with caleb and instead it's just? surface level stuff??? and i understand disney cancelled toh and they only had a certain amount of episodes left but they seriously could've done better with the time they had left to write it. i realised while trying to write smth about belos before that he doesn't actually have much of a personality???????? like he's just a very empty character that's only really there to serve the role of a villain and nothing more. which okay fine whatever but also most of the other characters also have the same problem where i can't really tell what their personalities are supposed to be. and maybe that's just me being autistic but i seriously think it's just badly written? idk sorry for rambling here im insane but do u understand

That is super true. While I do understand how heavily Disney likes to censor the show overall, it is kinda made to be a slap in the face to Disney and because of that being the focus it made a lot of very important characters very dry when they could have easily done more research and made it show how the queer community is treated rather that "Oh its a queer show! How you like that Disney??"

Like Belos as a character could have been a much scarier and bigger threat if he wasn't a joke. I understand why they kinda wrote him without a personality because many Christians fall into line with the same personality and interests. But that wasn't even explored and therefore was unforfilling.

I really wish they went with a narrative that could really hit home with a lot of people. Like if they made Belos more realistic as a heavy conservative Christian in power. Or even Odalina as an abusive parent and have her drive a wedge between Luz and Amity rather than have her easily beaten and in the background.

The Owl House lacks a story. Like Belos was a villain since s1 without even showing up until later. Like Luz saw the coven system and was like, "This is wrong" with knowing nothing about it or why it's there.

Heck, even Eda could have had better writeing like if she was written that she became against the coven system for a much deeper reason rather then she was just a rule breaker. Instead, maybe have her sister cursing her be the reason. The covens drew a huge wedge between her sister, and that's why she didn't like it rather than "I was just gonna give it to you and I just don't like covens"

Raine could have had a showing in s1 to explore their character more especially their tension with Eda and them wanting to be a coven head.

Luz and Camilla's Hispanic heritage could have had a better representation other than they speak Spanish occasionally.

Gus having a greater impact on Hunter much slower. And overall him having more screen time.

Hunter slowly healing and taking new friendships and relationships slower as he heals from his huge amounts of trauma. (Yes I know the show was canceled, but Hunter immediately had a crush on Willow when they met)

Willow and Amity taking slower to repair their friendship.

Willows design showing more of her half Asian heritage. And show her power getting stronger over time.

Lumity was my biggest upset because they were rushed so quickly. With no flaws or bumps either. I wish their enemies to lovers held more character development for Amity as well as Odalina getting more in the way, maybe isolating her more. Amity also not knowing how to love either because she was treated like a business object.

I also think that Caleb in FtF should have a better effort to haunt the narrative. Like instead of just stare try one last time to convince Belos to stop but Belos doesn't listen.

I also wished Eda and Lilith had more tension with Belos and that they knew about Caleb.

But yeah those are just my thoughts. I still love the show I just wish it could have done better (as someone who is going into film and writing as a career)

[shanblackrx]

Ok, first of all, I have just rewatched the special episode and although I already knew how it'd end, the moment the credits went up I literally buried my face in my hands and SOBBED. It's not that hard to make me cry with media, but I usually just tear up and nothing more. The last time I remember sobbing like this was with the end of Chimera Ants arc of Hunter x Hunter manga, which is a completely different type of story and media whatsoever, back in 2012. And I didn't know the end. Spectacular manga btw go read it

That said, I'm freshly out of it so here's a few of my considerations, personal opinions and also my theory. I'm not diving into the analysis of the episode itself for now, as I like to make these for more specific things I find in the work so they deserve a separate post for each, though I will be analyzing the post-credits scene because we don't have answers so we need to speculate.

Looooong text with almost no pictures ahead, just my yapping:

I expected the special episode to be really just Jack and Joke's cute little established relationship, which we did get to see (they're so disgustingly sappy, oh my god. I love them) for a good chunk of the episode. But we all also expected the wedding which, technically, did happen, just not how we wanted.

I think a lot of us just wanted only the happy part of it, maybe just a small conflict that would resolve within the story, which is what special episodes usually offer, especially because the original series wraps up perfectly and doesn't really give that much room for a continuation. And I think that because a lot of people expected this, they were utterly disappointed with it, even mad (that and also killing off one of the leads, like. Yeah I get it lol).

And I understand. Jack & Joker is perfectly balanced, with a nice and perfect ending. If I could choose, I wouldn't want a continuation either - you know, the chances of ruining a perfectly good show increases if you extend it for more than it should, and J&J is already perfect the way it is.

But I was offered the special episode, and now I have to work with it.

The first time I watched it I thought it was a bit rushed and confusing, albeit very intense (in a positive way). In my much calmer (as one can be), much less stressed out and anxious mood of my rewatch, I could feel it better. And I think it's way more seamless than I thought at first. Curiously, I also had the same feeling with the og series; it got so, so much better once I've rewatched it, and it kept getting better with all the small details I caught in every new watch.

It still has all the essence of J&J. The absurd comedy, the action, the romance, the heavy angst, the visuals, the lack of canon tattooaran even if it's heavily hinted. So all in all it was still a complete J&J experience.

I really do like the fact Save is not a perfect boss - he's basically just a math kid. He's not prepared to take care of a whole neighborhood like he did with bank accounts. Variables - people - were not in the system of his little bank computer. Taking care of a whole community is no easy task, especially since he is no mafia, he doesn't have the kind of experience and intimidation to keep bad apples in check. And even so, he still worked his hardest; and even so, it's still not enough.

So having criminals that were under Alice's thumb but now scattered like cockroaches searching for another ditch make having control over these fires they set even harder. I think it's a nice and coherent touch, and stuff happening because of it makes sense.

Also, although the uwu language JackJoke used throughout the moments they were out and about making everyone unwilling witnesses of their disgusting love was extremely funny and cute, it was really nice to see their heartfelt conversation when they were alone in Jack's room. It felt much more like they were baring their hearts for the other to hold, a genuine moment of intimacy, especially since they were making their wedding invites individually and by hand. It bore such a huge significance to their relationship I really can't begin to tell you how much I loved this scene. (they're also wearing shirts of complementary colors 😭💚)

I wasn't really expecting Carbon to make a comeback. But his explanation on why makes sense, and once again it hints that money and power walk together. It also gives him a more definite end (dying, finally. bitch) to take him out the picture for good since he could just eventually walk out the prison and go after them once again.

The casino mission was SUCH a delightful surprise to me! It's such a heavy wave to the pilot episode and it was really thrilling. Joke playing and cheating on poker was one of the sexiest things he could've ever done in his life lmao also even when he's cheating he manages to be gay af with his little ace and jack cards.

Admittedly, I was a bit underwhelmed with the fighting scenes. A lot of them were subpar compared to the ones in the og show, it not only lacked intensity but it was also awkward to see people in the background waiting to join the fight instead of throwing themselves into it, much like Jack's rampaging into Boss' office, which is one of my absolute favorite scenes in the og show, that's what I was expecting of them. However it was super nice to see the other piggies fighting with what they had, showing they were better prepared. Aran here takes the cake for me.

After that it was downhill. Joke not letting other people decide his destiny is one of the most Joke things in the entire show. With all that was happening it was rather predictable, but then again J&J does its thing and takes the predictability for a twist. "กูรักมึงที่รัก" ???? Using tirak in this situation when every other situation it was used was extremely, sickeningly sweet? Devastating. These words in that tone will be branded on my brain forever.

The whole thing with Jack going through the stages of grief and the ghost wedding destroyed me, even more so in my rewatch. Once again I'm here EATING UP Yin's crying scenes (one of my most favorite scenes in any BL ever is Vee crying under the rain at the bridge). I know everyone talks about War's acting when it comes to crying and obviously he always nails it, but I still think Yin should have more recognition in these kind of scenes too, because he always manage to make it so heartbreaking, and it wasn't different here.

The swings scene with him hallucinating Joke to be able to accept his presumed death was one of the most beautiful, most heartbreaking 'endings' I've seen in a Thai BL.

HOWEVER. I absolutely refused to believe they'd actually end in that note. It could be as devastatingly beautiful as it gets but I genuinely thought if they ended it like that it'd be SUCH a huge stab in the back of fans. Jack and Joke barely managed to live a happy life to then be yanked from it. It really didn't feel fair, that they gave us such a perfect little ending in the og show to then just say 'how about no?'. I was honestly in shock and denial. I was really thinking like 'I really, genuinely don't think they'd do this. I will only believe it ends like this when the episode reaches the end and stops playing by itself.'

And I'm glad I thought like that because they really didn't let me down. Some Marvel level of post-credits scene this is. The relief to see Joke isn't actually dead. The enormous cliffhanger.

I still am of the opinion that J&J didn't need a continuation, but now that it's out there, I just hope it's as good as the og show. And that maybe we don't have to wait for another 2 years, although I will gladly do so if that means they will deliver another sublime experience.

But I also hope it ends with that and they manage to move on to other, new things, because they've already proven they can do anything they want and it will be good. I really, really want them to take over the Thai BL world as a power couple with their independent productions, because they showed everyone they can.

Now, to the post-credits scene. Here goes my theory:

Reading all theories and also frying my brain to come up with what will they do with that cliffhanger, I thought of something that might make sense. This, however, would only work (well) in a full 10-12 eps season rather than another special episode or movie.

First of all, I think it's a new character (and that's why I think this will only work with a full season, because introducing a new character just for a short episode will give no substance to it). It's no one we know and I tell you why I think that: Joke had someone specific in mind. I don't think he's talking about Carbon here. Especially because everyone in the conversation knows Carbon very personally, he could just say his name.

So having this in mind, he might've been referring to this new character. So the fact this person is the one... 'housing' Joke, and who tended to his wounds, and also for his shock, this person might be either an old cellmate or someone else that's been incarcerated and Joke knows about or personally. Maybe a rival thief. So he's talking about this person here.

Also, VERY important missing information in the subs: Joke says "someone like me" in the sense of 'has the same abilities/did/does the same things'. This is crucial information that is in several other subs but not in the English one. Because the English subs on this ep are dogshit, lbr.

So I think one option that could happen:

This person wants Joke to either work for or with them. After all, you can't just wipe an alias like "legendary thief" in a year. Whatever it is that they want him for, it might be convenient for them that Joke's deemed dead, or they actually needed Joke to "die" for it to work. They might be in cahoots with someone we already know, or they might be acting alone.

This can be a double-edged sword because the person can be good, neutral or evil and we might not know until the very last minute.

Now one thing that caught my attention: The black shirt in the background.

Absolutely nothing when it's about clothes is Just There in J&J. There's always a lot of subtle storytelling in their clothes, especially when it comes to black and white. And specifically a black shirt hanging in so openly there and no other piece of clothing while Joke is wearing white? This is deliberate.

Do you remember Jack's red ticket? When the joker turns black to white, etc? This might be the opposite of that. This might mean starting from square one, undoing everything up to that point, or it might also mean Joke's darkening arc. Joke's wearing white, so washing this away to taint it black. It might also mean someone who's opposite of him if the shirt is referring to this new character, but I'm not too sold on this idea since black is mainly Jack's motif, especially in relation to Joke. Also, maybe this is the 'enemies' Nang was talking about.

And maybe because Joke has no choice but to do what he's told, whether if it's under threat or because maybe Jack would be in danger if he doesn't because that's their thing, or both, probably both, he can't show up to Jack or any of the piggies, and that is the main conflict of the season.

This can tie with the whole 'moving on' thing about Jack that everyone is terrified of. I don't think that even if it might seem so to add to the tension, Jack will ever actually move on; not FROM Joke at least. He can move on from the pain, make peace with the idea he's not coming back, but not from what he feels for Joke. If Joke appeared in front of him be it tomorrow or in 10 years, he'd probably just resume their lives together (after coming back from the shock of seeing him alive which can take some time). He himself said Joke is the one he loves the most. And some people change you so viscerally and completely that they'll always mean the same to you, forever, which is definitely the case for both.

Maybe if we're going through this route because J&J's classic angst and pain, Joke's gonna watch him from afar going on with his life, then that lack of self-worth he has that I'm pretty sure doesn't just vanish in such a short time even if he's found love and some healing, might keep him from approaching Jack even if he wants to and can do so; he wouldn't want to ruin whatever Jack has built without him so far.

If that's the case, if this really happened, I'd want Jack to find out and tackle Joke on the ground when he's being watched just like their first encounter after the 5 years. It'd be one of the most poetic cinema cycle closing one could pull off with this possible new season. But that's just my wishful thinking.

It can also be something completely different and I'm all for it as long as it retains J&J vibe, quality and unpredictable turns.

And also many more YinWar kissies, there's never enough of those.

[gars-weaponeer]

Today in: Clones Characters that deserved better!

Issue #2

-CID-

No it's not a joke- HEAR ME OUT!

First of all- I'm not gonna sit here and say that Cid was a good character and she doesn't deserve all the hate.

She is a horrible person and she totally sucks-

What I mean is that I feel like she was cut short and her story was not finished. This is not unusual with the Bad batch enemies and antagonists that are not cameos. Hemlock also suffering from this "half written" desease. The only one I think had a full arc and a satisfactory-ish end was Rampant but that's another story.

Cid in particularly resonates with me cause the old lizard has a very interesting design. She is a trandoshan and she is the first of her kind that we ever see being both female ( i think) and elder. Most of the other Trandoshans we have seen in the movies, videogames and series are mostly adult males. She is also an ally at first, which is also weird for a Trandoshan, being usually the go-to when writers need a "enemy alien". And sure, this could be read as she already being an antagonist from the beginning- But I never liked star war's trend of having a certain species being "the evil species." So having a trandoshan ally was something that I was excited about!

I wanna see more Trandoshan allies and more Wookie villains.

Sure, when we first meet her she is not the best person, making it clear to us that she cares more about money than making friends with the batch. Their relationship is strictly business like- However the more we see her during season one the more we see her connect with the batch. Specially with Omega.

Sure- She connects with Omega cause she notices Omega can be useful to her. But it's thanks to Cid that Hunter and the rest start to treat Omega as a member of the team, rather than a charge they need to take care of. She has also given her a few tips on how to use the bow that have helped Omega in the long run.

It almost seemed like Cid's arc was to eventually warm up to the Batch, they seemed to work well together and even ally well when time required it... so by the end of season one I was convinced this would be her path.

Then, season two episode 4: Faster, came along and I noticed something weird...

While some of us were drooling over Tech's masterful abilities in the racing track(me included)- I began to notice on the re-runs that there was a certain character development in Cid.

She seemed to really want to change, to become a better person from who she used to be. (btw, we never learn more about her past- which is not a bad thing, but it also adds to her missing pieces.) She wants to prove to Millegi that she is not the ruthless, spineless, money-driven tradoshan she once was and we see that determination in her face, for a moment.

This was the first and only time that we have been shown Cid to be vulnerable. Really vulnerable. And I find it strange for a character that we were supposed to "hate" in the end, to have a whole episode where we see her vulnerable side. Which kind of tip me off that Cid had more story to her that was inevitable cut down by the studio deciding to cut the series short.

At the same time, on the same episode, we have Millegi's warning about Cid. Something that is meant to be forshadowing. So by the end of Faster, we got this information:

-Cid is not a good person and she never was, so the bad batch is right for not fully trusting her. -But Cid wants to change, or at least wants to convince herself that she has/can changed. -However, she might have trouble in the future failing to not fall into old habits.

However... this was pretty much the last episode where Cid was relevant at all.

We don't see her again until 5 episodes later, in Crossing/Retrieval. Where the Batch call's Cid for Help and she just leaves them on read.

How.... did we pass from Cid having character development to she just straight abandoning the Batch with little explanation other than "This is more trouble than it's worth"?

And THEN- when we see her again is already at the end of the season, on episode 16- Plan 99. Where Cid has a conversation with Wrecker and she reveals to them that she *had* to sell them out.

But instead of sounding condescending or proud of selling them off. Being all like: "I told you what would happen if you crossed me!" or something like that. You know... showing us that she really didn't care to sell the bad batch to Hemlock, we see her reluctant and even regretful.

Like she really, really, didn't had a choice. Like she really, really, didn't wanted to do so.

But she did- Because in the end, she is still that old Cid.

She decided that looking after herself, going down her old habits, was better than risking her skin for them.

And YEAH WHAT A BITCH- But it still feels... weird.

Like I'm not being told the whole context.

After this episode we never see Cid again, she is mentioned and somewhat implied that she was tortured or killed by CX-2 but she kind of just fizzles out... And it feels wrong, seeing how she was an important member of the cast during season 1.

I'M NOT GONNA LIE-

I was *convinced* that Phee was going to be the evil one.

Phee suffers from the "Disney girl boss" fever and she is too perfect for her own good, which is another rant for another ocasión. - So I was sure that she would double cross the Bad batch. She couldn't be that perfect... right?

She would appear being all cool, and having Omega look up to her and the batch trusting her easily by how cool she is- only for her to turn on them cause she is a pirate.

All for the batch to realize they were better off with Cid.

A classic "not everything that shines is gold" kind of stuff. But obviously that is not what happened. Uu

So here is my take on what I think Cid's arc was supposed to be.

We have two paths: the Good end and the bad end.

-BAD END-

Cid would connect back with the batch. Apologizing for not offering help with some excuse like "The empire was on my back" or something like that. Trying to sell the story that she was looking out for them.

We would have more situations where the Batch start trusting Cid again, but Phee is the one that warns them not to keep playing her games. That maybe they should finally break ties with her.

Before they can do that, plan 99 doesn't happens and the Batch hurries to take refuge with Cid. This time they "trust" her enough to believe that they would be safe.

Only to then be revealed that Cid sold them out for a huge amount of money. Cid would be shown to be unapologetic, saying something like "It's nothing personal, it's just business."

Then we either never see her again, Or we would see her demise via greed on another episode. Maybe tied with the Durand for it to be more poetic.

Cid would be a character we would all hate for being a total bitch- but we would have more context and more flavor to her betrayal.

Full on villain mode.

-GOOD END-

Cid get's a redemption arc in this one.

Things would go normally. But it would be remarked that Cid silence was unusual.

After Cid's betrayal and Omega being taken away, we would later on see Cid finding Hunter and Wrecker again.

Hunter and Wrecker are upset with her- obviously, But Cid begs for them to give her a chance to explain herself.

She tells them that she went radio silent cause the Empire had arrived on Ord Mantel and that Hemlock made her a deal she could not refuse.

She did not wanted to sell the batch, but she had no choice. It was them or her.

This would Upset Hunter, which would probably say something like : "Omega trusted you."

This would hit Cid hard, since we were already shown that she and Omega had a little connection.

Cid would then admit that she was a coward and that she fell back into her old habits out of fear, but would decide to offer her help freely to Hunter and Wrecker as she owns Omega that much.

With Cid's help as an information matrix, we would see Hunter and Wrecker keep looking. Cid giving them tips and bits of information that could be useful for them to complete missions.

It would be thanks to Cid that they receive Omega's message and that they are finally reunited.

After that, Cid would continue to help them locate Tantiss. Cid stays on Ord Mantel, trying to act unconscious as to not bring the attention of the rest of the batch in Pabu.

However she is confronted by CX-2, (who is obviously Tech, I'll die on this HILL!), This time Cid would refuse to her her old habits get the better of her, and she would try to fight him off with her wits.

She would try to trap him on the old mines under, and when she thinks she has bested him, she would ultimately be killed.

Just as she is about to die, Cid takes out a detonator and destroys the cantina and all the information CX-2 could get from the Bad Batch. Honoring her word for once and completing her redemption arc.

This of course is just my opinion and speculation.

I could be reading way too much into this and Cid was never actually supposed to be that deep.

But either way, I just wanted to share these thoughts, as they keep me up at nights sometimes.

Overall, the end is still the same: The Bad Batch ended too early and lots of characters suffered for it.

They deserved better.

[teenagemutantninjatrauma]

tell us about how Not Ok Cody Jones is :3c

Oh brother where do I even start! Let’s see:

So, his parents mysteriously died when he was a baby. This might or might not have been directly caused by Dunn, we don’t know for sure.

He was then technically raised by Dunn but we all know his real parent is actually Serling. But Serling is there primarily to protect Cody and Dunn wanted to isolate Cody, both of which contributed to him having zero social skills and zero friends. And no idea what the world outside is like.

(Not to drag my other interests into this too much but he does pretty much live the Adrien Agreste lifestyle.)

And we have to add that Dunn is not like. All that outwardly abusive. For the majority of Cody’s life, Dunn does not hit Cody, or threaten him, he just… keeps him at home, where it’s safe and nothing can endanger him. He gives him gifts – Cody can’t go live his own adventures, so instead he collects relics of the adventures of his ancestors. He whispers poison in his ear. He brings him out for events like a pet trained to do tricks, as proof that he is still entitled to the inheritance that is supposed to be Cody’s one day.

This makes his betrayal worse. Because Cody, who is kind and loving, truly believes that Dunn has his best interests at heart, and then this illusion crumbles under his feet. HE is the one who discovers where Dunn illegally makes weapons. And then he experiences Dunn lying to his face about it, and the cops not trusting him, and even the TURTLES questioning what he saw (not because they don’t believe him, but because at the time it seems impossible. But still, it sucks!). Do you think that, for a second, when he was in the room masked by a hologram, he doubted himself? Maybe he really is just seeing things. Maybe the guys and Splinter are wrong about uncle Dunn. Surely…

But things keep not adding up. The vibes are permanently off now. Dunn keeps coincidentally being connected to dangers that Cody gets into, and eventually, Splinter nudges Cody to trust his gut. So Cody does.

And on his birthday, his uncle tries to kill him.

Dunn tries to kill him, in a way that is violent, and cruel, and though he doesn’t succeed, he does kill Serling instead. Serling, who has been nothing short of Cody’s dad, his guardian, and Dunn just straight up kills him, AND HE USES CODY’S MECH TO DO IT. WHILE CODY JONES IS INSIDE THE MECH. AND HE TELLS HIM, DON’T CLOSE YOUR EYES, CODY, YOU’LL MISS THE BEST PART. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—

Anyways. Cody Jones fixes Serling before the end of the episode. Because Serling is a robot. But that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. And it’s fucked! It’s fucked up!!! That just happens to him! His one hobby that he’s able to have is inventing things, and then his own invention is turned into a weapon, because that’s what Dunn DOES, he takes the O’Neil genius and uses it for HURTING PEOPLE. Do you think Dark Leo ever tells Cody about the electroshock chips installed in their brains? Do you think somehow, in someway, that was made by the O’Neil Tech, originally?

Do you think he feels responsible?

And then he’s left alone. Because the show was kind of on a last leg, so it’s not the narrative’s fault, but still! The turtles have to, rather abruptly, go home. And, accidentally, Serling is dragged in with them. So where does that leave Cody? Alone, with his homicidal criminal uncle on the loose.

And he’s only started to become independent like half a year ago. And he’s fifteen. And they tried to kill him on his birthday. And his dad and his family are gone.

[dreamerdrop]

Could you tell us more about the WIP called Zebras?

Zebras is an episode related little what if based on If Wishes Were Horses, wherein Julian falls asleep reading medical notes about Bajoran war orphans and finds himself dreaming about his own childhood, and thus wakes up to a small imaginary version of himself pre-augmentation.

I need to rewrite the bulk of it, but here’s a snippet from the ending without any further context.

Julian doesn't really want to be around people, but he does want to drink until he blacks out, so he finds himself sitting in a corner at Quarks, tossing back synthehol like his life depends on it, when Jadzia approaches him, looking uncomfortable.

“You know... What I meant was, does this mean you have a secret yearning to be a father,” Jadzia says softly, almost whispering so that nobody else will hear. “I was… trying to joke about you maybe having a pregnancy fetish or something, and… maybe that was why you liked the idea that I already had a worm in my belly…?” she sits across from him, her smile is very contrite.

Julian grimaces. Of course, that had been what she was trying to joke about... Leave it to Jadzia to phrase it in the most awkward way possible, and for Julian to interpret it as incorrectly as imaginable.

They really did make quite a pair.

“So… who was he?” she asks, and Julian had so very much been dreading when that question would finally come up. His throat feels dry.

“He was… a friend. I knew him a long time ago…” he finds himself staring into the middle distance, several memories playing through his mind.

“What happened?”

Julian breathes slowly, trying not to get lost in the flood of thoughts and emotions that he feels like he might as well be drowning in.

“He died. He was... He was sick. His parents, they… it was difficult for them. Looking after him, because he was… they… they wanted to help him, to fix him, to make him…” Julian chokes on the words, crying. His face heats with shame.

“He was stupid. He was stupid, and annoying, and nobody liked him, and his parents…” he doesn't mean the words at all. He’s not sure where they’re coming from, but he can’t seem to stop them. Jadzia is looking at him in almost horror.

“They took him away to fix him, but… he didn't come back. I think... I think his parents were happier without him,” he says quietly. Jadzia shakes her head, opening her mouth to protest.

“They were. They had another child. I heard… I heard them telling their new child how much better he was. How much smarter, and easier to handle he was. They… I… They didn’t miss him at all…”

Jadzia isn’t stupid. Julian knows she can tell there’s more to this than he’s willing to admit. Julian knows he’s giving away too much. He knows he’ll regret this one day. Right now, the image of watching Jules die all over again is fresh in his mind.

“Sometimes, I think… I might be the only one who misses him at all.”

Jadzia reaches a hand out and squeezes his shoulder. She lifts her own glass and clinks it against Julian’s.

“We can miss him together, at least for tonight,” she says.

The burn of synthehol doesn’t warm him as much as the genuine kindness in Jadzia’s eyes, nor does it sting as much as the still-present pity.

He supposes that one day, she’ll look at him normally again, but just for tonight… he’s grateful that someone else can feel sorry for Jules. He’s glad he won’t be the only one to miss him anymore.

END.

I’m not quite sure what to do with the rest of it in the lead up to that yet though, since I’ve been puzzling over the character voices for a while for this… I think I’ve got Julian being too much of a jerk and being sort of too… idk, softboy-ish? Rather than like… himself. And I think it makes zero sense for me not to have Sisko and Miles more involved as well, since y’know, they’re both parents and here is Julian with a tiny kid.

Anyway, it’s been a WIP since maybe November last year and I come back to it occasionally and hopefully one day I will finish it. Hopefully. Maybe. We’ll see!