#i need to feel desirable and attractive | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

zoeythegoodgirl · 2 months ago

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Wish I got anons telling me how bad they wanna fuck me and how

#this is an invitation #i need to feel desirable and attractive

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k1tty5 · 4 months ago

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hello :D please tell me more about your mezalian (is that how you spell it??) smalletho I will forever be indebted to you

(they are gorgeous I love them sm)

hey hi !! it would be my pleasure … (and I’ve been spelling it mezalean ??? but i have no idea LOL. there might be a canon spelling but i havent watched joels esmp1 since… probably since it ended. i will have to check sometime)

apologizing in advance because i will probably get very ramble-y!!

ummm. Oh god. How to start. Lets see. WELL. In this silly little au (i guess it has become a bit more than just me doodling designs LOL) in my head they have like this sort of zelink dynamic? obviously without all the zelda lore & stuff, just that kind of … okay forgive me I haven’t brushed up on my zelink lore for a good many years but. Like the princess and her personal knight that doesn’t really talk much sort of thing.

this made more sense in my head. But yeah. They have the vibes of zelink ? At least if i remember zelink right, I have a really bad memory :’) not exactly the same, i do think etho talks to joel (whereas if iirc link never really talks) - especially after getting to know him a bit - but just. they have the Vibes. You know?

I reckon Joel’s definitely very into sculpting in this au, maybe dabbles a little in painting - I imagine mezalea to be very heavy on art and expression in general. think you’d especially see lots of pottery and textiles all around the place. He probably also has an interest in some form of like. um. whats the word. Some sort of … fighting. lmao. Specifically thinking of fencing, i had this idea in my head that he’s watched Etho practice outside the palace at some point and is just absolutely fascinated and enamored. by both the practice and etho himself haha.

and for etho… talented swordsman? he is Not washed. i dont really have many ideas for his character in this au To be completely honest, mostly just of his personality. Although, I alsooo think he’s probably not actually from mezalea? I like to draw him with those pointy elf ears, and i think mezaleans are just humans. I cant remember if thats canon or not but um. mezaleans have human ears, so i’d imagine etho’s probably from like.. rivendelle? Is that. What it’s called. The elf guys? Are they elves??? Goodness I cant remember. Grimlands would make sense too since i THINK they’re kind of like. technical engineer guys? but i dont know what species they are um so ,,, yeah,,,,

i think joel’s probably a bit put off by etho at first, mostly just because he’s not super enthused about the idea of a personal guard, but also because the guys a bit odd, you know? but he’s also probably suuuper intrigued by him. he wants to figure this new guy out, and when they start talking a bit more, i think. They are both incredibly charmed by the other. head over heels? possibly.

most of my ideas of this au are just little scenes that are cute and silly but dont follow any main plot. I would love to write some one-shots of some of the ideas i have in the future, but as of right now im experiencing a bout of creative burnout and am busy with the holidays - spending time with family, so… not right now lol!

hopefully this is what you wanted,,,, i tend to get very ramble-y when talking about literally anything, so i do apologize for that haha, i am Not good at explaining things in simple ways, as i’ve said many a time before.

#sphynx asks!#sphynx rambles #i guess i’ll tag this as #smalletho #and #trafficshipping #for filtering #when explaining my thoughts on smalletho (or any ship for that matter) i always feel the need to clarify that um #being someone on the aroace + probably aplatonic spectrum #i always put a bit of that into my headcanon of characters #like in my brain they are never sexually attracted to each other or anyone else #and the relationships aren’t ever easily describable. they just exist as they are without a label.#maybe they kiss maybe they like each other but i never put them in any sort of established romantic relationship in my head #it Is my desire for connection and intimacy without the “rules” and lines between platonic and romantic attraction making itself known #because i don’t really. feel. either? I want to love someone but i am not sure what love entails. and i’d reckon that probably shows LOL #dude i could go on and on about how being aroace feels for me and how i project that onto characters. its honestly. fascinating to me lmao?#i find the topic of love and attraction and friendship and connection and intimacy just incredibly interesting as a whole though LOL #sometimes i feel like some alien (not in a bad way!! ..most of the time) looking in on human life like… how very curious this is! wow!#Honestly i could probably talk about anything for hours. i just really like thinking about things and sharing my thoughts #unfortunately im also terrified of sharing those thoughts and being perceived in general ! social anxiety at its finest here!#i spent the whole day working on this answer lmao. which really shows just how much i struggle putting things into words #and then POSTING those words? i have to reread what ive written a billion times to make sure i don’t sound stupid or insane #and even then i still worry. so at this point its just become.. post and dont look at tumblr for the next while to let the anxiety subside #anyway um.! Yeah.#im going to sleep now. Thumbs up.

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dxxtruction · 15 days ago

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Louis does see Armand for all his flaws, and yet still chooses him, and loves him, but when he sees them for what they really were, and really entailed, he no longer can. Oh, gradations of evil. Louis had in ways bought into it.

#contriversial?#Like you can't deny Louis knew Armand to be a liar manipulator a disciplinarian betrayer and a threat among other things #He knows him and Claudia are at odds with each other #You might ask why then would he not turn the other way and run? And well cause Louis is tired of looking and feeling weak and Armand #where he isn't flawed offered him all this power as flimsy and dangerously able to be undermined as it may be #and he offers a place for him to have a connection he fears he would otherwise never have again in his everlasting existence #Suppose then Armand is the lesser of two evils #I feel too that since Louis views himself as deeply flawed and deeply capable of the same things that they are both #beings of evil as they are vampires and so on #to go about judging it so strongly that you deny any sort of connection you could have in another would really be to deny himself of #all he wants and needs and desires which gets at a point of him of his inner felt weaknesses of denying himself and being subjugated #away from being able to obtain such things without opposition or other forces #Armand is flawed in that he is a force but Louis sees to the potential of him being genuine in his devotions to him as #capable of quelling this entirely. To have Armand be 'his' is to finally control what has long been out of his control.#It's... more complicated than this surely but surface level Louis does choose armand and loves him but #it's always layered with an amount of false pretense and illusions of deeper trust #If you're whole vampire community is assholes who would either want to die or kill you you might as well choose the one who won't do either #at least by all impressions #and who you find very attractive physically and intellectually and who finds you attractive too and who happens to be good in bed #and into the same sex things you're into and curious about #Who you contentiously just get and who gets you back even if you would never really see eye to eye because you know a specific kind of pain #still knowing you relate to them somehow even if you can't see to their perspective #I am rambling now but this ship gets me ....#Feel similarly about why Louis would apologize to lestat - he feels put down to not own up to his part in all of it and he feels more in #control over his situation and his sense of self to simply admit this than to pretend like he was an absent player #He doesn't agree now with how he acted back then and in a way this is his way of admitting to he can move past that he is that person still #which he isn't in any sense still that person #Do I ... fully agreeeeee??? no. Do I get it? yeeah.#It's an autonomy thing really like I'm also not going to say he can't if it genuinely doesn't harm him to I guess.#Not like he's fully forgiving and forgetting here either he's just owning some shared responsibility esp. on part of Claudia

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doveboycreature · 5 months ago

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I don’t even like people. Unless I do.

#vent #I’m trying to figure out if I’m even literally ever attracted to people in any way at all #Or if I just crave closeness and affection and pain and all that stuff #And feel the need to respond to other people’s attraction to me #I will never pursue someone who I don’t think is already into me #Every person I’ve dated I had to make myself like them in some way #I’m too scared to date or anything again bc I don’t think i actually am attracted to anyone really #I have to consciously think about it #Even people I do think I find attractive I can’t act on that attraction #I don’t feel any pull to act #And if I do want something from them I feel evil for it #I’m like physically incapable of recognizing my desires and acting on them #Both bc I’m too ashamed to have desires and also I’m not even sure if I do or not #Well anyway all of this to say I’m an ethereal angel being who isn’t touched by mortality #Or something like that

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zoeythegoodgirl · 3 months ago

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What if I was actually desired and didn't have to ask for the kind of attention I need?

#i hate that i need it so much #i just wanna feel attractive #i wanna feel sexy #i wanna feel wanted and desired and hot #wanna be your crush and your sex object #at this point i dont even care if its pretend #i just want someone to say it #im sorry im sure im being annoying

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if-loki-was-a-fox · 1 month ago

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Can't sleep at 4am so instead I've ended up having revelations about how I conceptualize my aromanticism

#/pos NOT /vent #I've had this reoccuring issue where every time I make a new friend I feel. idk love or affection or attraction or wrv for them #and I panic because I misread it as romantic #because romance is the only lens I've seen newly begining relationships and the desire to presue relationships through (mostly in fiction)#so then I have to try and make friends with the loomjng cloud of #“what if they have romantic feelings for me” “what if I have romantic feelings for them” “what if we have to date” over my head #and it makes me so uncomfortable in a way I can't explain #because I can't explain why romance is different from friendship ao why should it matter????#it's illogical and I can't make my emotions do what I want so it stresses me out #and I was starting to think I was just the fictional trope of a character who refuses to engage in romance #because they don't want to deal with the silly illogical emotions of intimacy #ruining their perfect house of cards in their mind of how their emoitons ought to behave #but no. the illogical thing that's stressing me out is that I can't explain why #if I want love and intimacy adding the label of romance suddenly ruins it for me #if I can't explain the difference between romance and friendship then iflt shouldn't matter right?#but no. I don't need to be able to conceptualize of romance to know I don't want it #I do not want to experience love that is a separate and distinct from friendship #I do not want to have “special” love for “special” partner(s) when I can just have a family of people whom I love the same way #I mean obviously not exactly the same way because my relationship with every individual is different #but as in no exclusive behaviors like dates and kissing and no expectations to go on dates or move in with one person over another #obviously my relationship with my twin sibling is always going to be founded on a very different bedrock #than my relationship to a classmate or coworker I happen to vibe with #but both are love all the same

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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 3 months ago

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In the town I'm hopefully moving to I was worried there wouldn't be a coffee shop (I have a crippling caffeine addiction) but there IS and it's INSIDE THE BOOKSHOP!!!!!!! This is going to be wonderful

#its technically a village tbh but i feel silly saying 'the village im moving to'#but its def not a city so i go with town #but anyway. the tiny village im moving to doesnt have much #but its such a cute little place #ill be living in the farmlands about 15 minutes outside of the actual town #but in the actual town theres the aforementioned bookshop+cafe whoch im so excited to visit #as well as a community garden. forest preserve. library. an organization that hosts drag brunches which was very surprising to me #considering its literally a village #but there are harris/walz signs around and rainbow flags in the bookshop windows and drag brunches so it seems great #and theres a culvers. and a Qdoba 50 minutes away. and within comfortable driving distance of several more major cities #what else do you need tbh #im breathing much easier knowing that ill be getting out #my mom showed me the 'depression spiral' once which are the three things that make the deoression keep going #and i only remember one which is environment #my environment has been making the depression spiral like a fucking whirlpool #but im about to get out. to a better environment. and i started therapy again. and im back on my mood stabilizers #things are looking up #i hesitate to say that bcuz i fear the universe will hear and strike me down #but maybe the ball is rolling uphill (starstruck odyssey my beloved)#im going to romanticize the fuck out of village life and you can count on that #wake up in the farmhouse. put on a cute sweater. go to the bookshop+cafe. then the library #make eye contact with a cute girl across the library or bookstore cafe. notice shes reading one of my fav books. she smiles #i walk ivef and introduce myself. we hit it off. spend all day talking. exchange numbers #cue a montage of cute dates. at ny fav tourist attraction. at her fav nature preserve #buying a christmas tree at the hallmark style christmas tree farm #we kiss under a gentle snow #anywho #i didnt anticipate writing that i was just possessed by the desire for a hallmark romance in the village #i tried to google the depression spiral but i cant find the graphic. its not relevant anymore it just bothers me that i cant remember #but im about to break the spiral! im gonna break it and im gonna be okay!!

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spookytransgirl · 5 months ago

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#I want to feel sexy and desired #my brain wont allow the compliments from others stick #I just think people are being nice to me #I dont feel sexy nor attractive #I need it beat into my head or something

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sysig · 1 year ago

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But would you tho (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Damned #Schuldig #ZEX #And again the Captain implied from offscreen lol #Two little things ♪ One that Actually happened and one speculation lol #I really like Schuldig :D He's the likeable asshole type and his quirk is very well written :)#I love how he gets on Zelnick's case about his wishy-washy-ness in regards to xenophilia generally and ZEX specifically hehe #Zelnick has no good answer for him! It's so cute hehe <3 #But then he turns right around and is wishy-washy himself!! I get the feeling his frustration stems a bit from relating hahaha #Or maybe Zelnick's uncertainty influenced him! It's not such an easy decision to make when you're staring down the barrel is it now :)#Openly attracted to Max's body and flattered by ZEX's personality and outright attraction to him in turn but the alien aspect is too much pf #Sure right okay lol - I have no skin in this game so I'll have to take his word for it haha #Secondarily speculating around ZEX's attraction and standards lol it sounds like an oxymoron but no he is actually a bit picky!#Yes he loves humans generally but he is actually tempered by what mind inhabits what body! It's so interesting to me!#I think it's especially funny how his various desires are in conflict with each other haha #Like it makes sense that he controls himself around Fwiffo - poor thing would have a heart attack - but he genuinely seems less attracted!#Which makes sense to me as well ♪ Spathi and VUX share several traits and were on the same side during the War so he's familiar with them #And he's specifically attracted to differences and novelty - it all lines up!#And then there's also his pride lol he tries to make more friends than enemies of course but he still gets petty and patronizing <3 #If he's actually upset with someone /he's/ the one who would need convincing! It's all very interesting :3c #And then there's the matter of his own body vs. Max's body - he's so upset at the metaphysical implications of cloning his consciousness #I've never thought of ZEX in the context of the ''Would you fuck your clone'' questionnaire but I guess I know his answer now haha #Though I still wonder what his reaction would be to Max :0 He's probably not close enough to be ZEX but he is /a/ ZEX - of a sort #All his introspection about the body he's in has my mental ears perked haha - pity and worry for the potential life he's replacing #Discomfort at possibly being Max in some capacity including continuing to be in his body but also of overtaking his life entirely #And of being backed into a corner - Max is pitiful as well as pitiable! Neither of them want to be Max Vyer really #He loves humans but how far does that extend when push comes to shove ♪ It's been interesting watching him fumble through it :)

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elisaenglish · 8 months ago

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“You didn’t have to attract desire. Either it was in the woman who aroused it or it didn’t exist. Either it was there at first glance or else it had never been.”

-Marguerite Duras, The Lover-

The hazard never courts its own demise, but you—tarry in the rictus of my throat...

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fellhellion · 2 years ago

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#feel free to reblog the meme if u like lmao #just leave the tags out #vent.txt #<- sorry just need to have a moment lmao #inflicted w the yearnings for romantic relationship yet again 😞 but so keenly aware of how much I’d have to unpack in myself to truly be a #part of it #like. I don’t trust people. I don’t confide in people. I tell them nothing about myself for years and years and I used to resent a little #that that was enough for them. that they didn’t NEED to know. that me loving and caring for them was enough. but it’s so silly because like #how can you resent people for not knowing what you won’t tell them. so thankfully THAT has passed #but it’s just like. there are so many issues. like I just CANNOT conceptualise myself as romantically attracted #attractive*#not even in a self deprecating sense it just feels like an immutable fact. I can’t imagine someone looking at me w romantic desire.#and it’s like. I honestly don’t know if I could let my walls down enough to actively love someone back like that #it’s so easy to love from afar. and hell haha maybe THATS because it’ll always be easier to love someone when they can’t know all of you to #love in return #but I just don’t know how I can do it. I don’t know how to view the risk as being worth it #and at the end of the day I’ll be okay if romantic love isn’t in the cards for me. you can live a happy life without #but ah fuck. sometimes the but I am so lonely.jpg hits

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caladbolg · 6 months ago

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i am going to complain here where no one will see it bcos i have like 5 followers

#i really want someone to express any kind of romantic interest in me or even just attraction at this point tbh #i need to feel like i exist and have some kind of worth to another person #and like yeah friends and my friends are everything to me but its been years since anyone has like #wanted to be close to me. or expressed a desire for me. which is cringe as fuck to say but ive always been so self conscious #and like reviled for my body. how i behave. everything #i just want to feel like im allowed to have the same experience as other ppl that someone out there truly truly wants me #that to them i am like beautiful and epic and awesome or watever #but also i dont want any of this to happen because i think i have some kind of unresolved issues with intimacy due to past mistreatment #and its extremely easy for me to become scared and standoffish if someone tries to come onto me too quickly #cool. awesome. its so dark in here

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heartshattering · 8 months ago

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Imagine being one of those girls who posts a selfie asking "How can I improve my make-up skills?" or "What haircut suits me?" and just getting flooded with comments like "Idk the answer but I'm just commenting to let you know you're gorgeous" or "Nooooo don't change anything, you're perfect, you have my desired appearance" etc.

#idk it's just weird to me?#the commenters are the ones being weird #not the original posters #like... even if someone looks 'perfect' to you... if they're asking for help online it's because they still want to change something?#even if they already look fine maybe they're just bored of their current hair/style/whatever?#you can have the desire to change your looks while still thinking of yourself as attractive sooo #idk what's up with the people who feel the need to be like 'no you're gorgeous' when OP never said anything about being ugly lol #and it's not really helpful anyway since you aren't even answering their question???#like I know part of it is me being salty lol #but at the same time it's just weird behavior to answer with 'NO YOU'RE PERFECT' to someone's request for advice... 🥴#idk I just have a lot of thoughts on it but my brain is blurry atm lol

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grntaire · 2 years ago

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hmmm

#might actually be a lesbian. lmao #i need a council of lesbians to guide me i am so confused by my feelings rn #the realization that my attraction to men might not be attraction but the desire for patriarchal approval. interesting #personal

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sunmisbf · 9 months ago

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maybe it’s a good thing that kunzennies r gatekeeping their videos bc this is only 4 seconds long n it’s making me feel like a rabid dog

#i want this man so bad u couldn’t begin to imagine the enormity of my desire #he’s literally just standing there touching a pole n it’s making my stomach turn like get this man away from me😭#didn’t laugh + didn’t ask + i need to see a full performance version for personal reasons #i CAN feel the attraction btw to answer his question……. 🚶#.txt

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sleeperagentclone · 6 months ago

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This man thinks that you don't need external validation to feel desirable

#This doesn't make any fucking sense to me #Like I get feeling lovable or attractive without someone else but I feel like desirable completely hinges on other people #I feel like I'm already hitting a brick wall in therapy and I only just started going again #Like I ~know~ that I shouldn't need external romantic validation to feel loved but I can't fucking love myself and apparently platonic love #Isn't enough for me so #And like I know it's not what he meant but being in love being a lofty or unrealistic goal is not helpful #Like I understand that it's not something I can control and it's not qualifiable #But I've had 28 years to love myself and that ain't working out

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