#i might make a post abt my thoughts on the matter at some point

[huellitaa]

⋅˚₊‧ ୨ feeling uncomfy in ur own skin

ok so this is something ive been struggling with for years. like i wake up some days and just feel Eugh way more than id like to. SO i decided i'd make a little guide on this! for me and for you 🩷✨

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 reasons why we could be feeling uncomfortable with ourselves and who we are

♡ having a shitty mental diet and consuming media and things that make you feel bad abt urself

♡ being in an environment where we're constantly being judged or put down, even over the most basic things

♡ hanging around negative people or negative places

♡ not giving urself enough credit for ur own achievements and accomplishments

♡ changing urself constantly for others and not having a clear sense of self to hold on to

♡ not having boundaries on how you and others treat you

♡ staying stagnant in the same place in your life and not changing (🎀🗒️also read: get comfy being uncomfy ♡)

♡ not paying enough attention to yourself and avoiding your genuine thoughts, feelings and emotions

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 1. be gentle with yourself!

pleasepleaseplease its ok to have bad days its ok to not feel great every day. treat yourself as you would someone you love. if you just aren't feeling good today, then you aren't feeling good! honour that and respect that and deal with that accordingly. even if you are uncomfortable with yourself right now or you don't like yourself right now, please try and treat yourself with care regardless, because no matter what stage you are in in your life right now you are and always will be the most important person in ur life, so TREAT URSELF LIKE IT🫶💖

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 2. inspiration, not comparison!

i know its often told not to go looking at people who are ahead of you in these times but hear me out. i think looking at and observing people you admire who are further ahead of you is very motivating to build yourself up and *become more like them* in your own way. you look up to them because of ___? what can you do to become your own version of that? thinking like this gets me more inspired to just get out of bed because i want to be more like them.

two words for this one - NO. COMPARISON. gaining inspiration from others to better yourself and comparing yourself to others are two completely different things. 🫶 (shameless self promo, but i have a post on this here! 🩷✨)

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 3. analysis: detective work chapter!

journal and think and think to urself why u might feel like this or what caused this. when did it start? has anything happened lately that may have caused this? how does it feel, in depth? what can you do to combat this? how can you make it through the day & make it so you do even better tomorrow?

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 4. channeling the mindset!

back to my point on our idols, thinking like them & thinking what they'd do in this situation helps me a lot. personally one of my idols is ada lovelace so whenever im really tired and unmotivated or insecure on my abilities or appearance or anything else i think to myself "what would she do?" and 9 times out of 10 im up at my desk in my cutest outfit hard at work. this is def one of my favourite points and something i use on the daily for like literally everything and 100% recommend 🩷✨

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 5. what would i do?

similarly, ask urself what the best version of yourself or the version of urself youre working towards would do in this situation. be your own inspiration. be ur own muse. would they stay in bed and rot all day? if the answer is no then ur up. out. immediately. ask urself what they would do. if ur feeling drained, would they take a day off to do some self care and recharge? if ur feeling sad, would they be gentle with themselves and let themselves feel sad for a little while & try to work to the root of the problem?

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 6. understanding yourself!

make a list of the things that make you the happiest and most comfortable & productive and the things that make you the unhappiest and the opposite of those things. i mentioned this in my recharge day post, but figuring out these will help you find out which negative behaviours or habits are lowering ur vibrations and making u feel like this, and help u to engage more in the things that make you happy with yourself and everything around you 💗✨

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 7. pay attention!

pay close attention to ur internal landscape and your self talk throughout the day. note down every little thing you notice, even if you think it won't be helpful; for example, do you find yourself indulging in negative talk abt urself, negative talk abt others, constantly being pessimistic and expecting the worst, indulging in judgement and criticism of urself and everyone around you, getting distracted easily, and so on.

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 8. what would i do, part 2

like i mentioned earlier, you should be your own inspiration. you should be your own muse. as much as it's nice to have idols, when ur trying to change something about urself and adjust and improve ur own behaviours, you should be mainly focusing on what you want to achieve by changing said behaviours. do you know who you're working towards being? do you know how you want to feel? do you know what you are changing these things you feel into? think about whether or not the person you are now lines up with the person you want to be in all aspects of ur life. if you feel like you aren't even trying to meet these standards then of course ur gonna feel bad about urself. of course don't be too hard on urself, but keep this in mind. 💓✨

finally, remember that these things are temporary and it wont be like this forever. ur beautiful and perfect no matter what and in these times u gotta show up for yourself even more and never give up! i believe in u 🫶🩷

all my love 💗💬✨🎀

[bleue-flora]

tbh to me c!sapnap is on the same level of betraying c!dream as c!sam. It may seem far-fetched considering what c!sam did and considering we don't have much real lore content with c!sapnap or c!dreamnap, but when you look at what we DO have, it's kind of a picture

like, he's not just some stupid or short-sighted character, as it might seem at first glance - we have a ton of evidence that he understands perfectly well that prison makes c!dream physically and mentally ill, but he agrees with it. In the dialogue with c!michael he literally says "dream fucked up, prison fucked him up in another sense, but it doesn't matter, cause dream has to get better and become *my* dream again, let him stay in prison and improve, even if it breaks him idc", like wtf is this? funny, but at the same time, c!sapnap doesn't visit dream more than once, how will he know that c!dream is making progress? In c!sapnap's head, prison is supposed to be a rehabilitation for c!dream, only no one checks his progress in stopping being a "fucked up", he either sits there completely alone or people go there to hurt him and c!sapnap understands and acknowledged it, but he doesn't give a shit. I'm sorry, but this gives off sam's "I thought I broke his will to do something like that". He obviously doesn't care about c!dream and just wants his good old *convenient* friend, and he doesn't care about the consequences.

But he's not just passively harming c!dream, he's doing it actively. If the threat could still be interpreted as an emotional outburst, something he could say and regret, then his other actions clearly say the opposite. Like, the dude literally stalked and harassed c!dream for months after he found out where he lived??

The revival book was more important to him than torture. Even in the beginning, he didn't care about c!dream's reputation, when c!wilbur and c!tommy dragged it into the dirt for no reason, and he repeatedly went against c!dream or supported things that directly harmed c!dream. For me, one of the most telling scenes is c!sapnap and c!george's meeting with mexican dream's ghost, where c!sapnap, without any reason, pins the explosion of El Rapids on c!dream, and then, when he finds out that actually c!quackity was the one who did it, c!sapnap immediately says that they urgently need to go and find out why he did it, to check if he's okay and all that. This is literally the attitude you'd expect from c!tommy, to attribute every bad event to c!dream, but no, this is his so-called best friend! And of course, he only wants to know the reasons for an action when someone else does a bad action, but not c!dream - well, of course, cause it's clear that c!dream reasons are "being evil" or smth.

So, I've been in my c!sapnap hate arc for over two years now and you all should join me lmao

I didn't think I'd write SO much, but emotions took over after reading the new chapter of your fic and some of your posts, sorry abt that :"^

[context a & b]

Honestly, in my opinion his betrayal is almost worse than Sam’s, which is saying something since he literally enabled and facilitated daily torture. But like Sam wasn’t Dream’s self proclaimed brother, and at least Sam’s delusion kinda makes sense. Sapnap is just like - the chicken tastes rubbery and overcooked, so I put it in the oven and then it tasted burnt, so I put it back in the oven to help the taste and at some point I’ll take it out of the oven and then it’ll taste good again. No idea how long that’ll take, and no don’t be ridiculous I’m not gonna check on it. I swear though if anyone touches my chicken before it tastes good again like so much as removes it from the oven or seasons it I’m gonna throw it in the trash… vs Sam who’s like - the chicken tastes rubbery but I spent money on it so I’m gonna put it in the oven and turn it to charcoal so at least then it won’t be a complete waste…

ya know? Like at least Sam was corrupted by power, financial benefit, manipulated a bit, and had the blood of a “child” on his hands. Sapnap doesn’t even have that, he has a life long best friend who he heard made a speech about not caring about anything and then later a speech about wanting to control everyone, a fish in a item frame and a letter saying “thanks for visiting”…

Well I don’t know about the “even if it breaks him” I don’t think he is thinking that directing about Dream’s suffering if that makes sense, but Sapnap is delusional no doubt. I also don’t know if he even cares that much about the book in general, he just doesn’t seem to given a damn about the torture. He seems to really just be about the fear of what Dream might do and how he needs to be stopped before that.

And you do have a point, in the beginning even as his “brother” he on many occasions went against him, down to the very first disc war where they killed him multiple times. I mean if Sapnap weren’t American, he’d have probably been right alongside clingy duo in L’manberg and stuff… oh I had no idea about the El Rapids thing but am also not surprised…

What do you even mean, I am literally an engineer of this Sapnap hate train 🚂 choo choo! I be shoveling coal to keep this engine running ya know. like literally the more lore I watch the more he actually just kills me.

but anyways, I mean you read the chapter (and presumably the one before) so you know my thoughts on Sapnap lol. ;D

[mochamoth]

samarina magical girl headcanons?

I have a few headcanons so far and the whole plot is kinda done! Uhh sorry this is a bit of a rant in advance! Feel free to just skip to the headcanons, the order doesn't matter too much (also mild spoilers for the canon gamee!!)

Backstory:

So this takes place sometime in the early 2000s, not modern but also not the canon 1940s time era. The backstories are pretty much the same except the Ninth Circle has an even sharper eye on Samarie. At some point Marina catches Samarie stalking her and gives her a talking to. But, after several apologies and begging from Samarie, Marina decided to get to know her a lil better. They slowly become friends overtime until some plot stuff happens and they die. I don't have a solid idea yet but I was thinking what if the Ninth Circle was more of a lab than a "school". Still a cult but y'know the vibes are a bit different. They catch the two running away and threaten to shoot Marina if she doesn't turn Samarie back in. Marina refuses, they shoot, Samarie takes the shot for her but unfortunately they just shoot Marina anyways afterwards.

Somewhat luckily Samarie was close enough with the Gods to make some sorta deal with Rher specifically (for arguments sake let's pretend in this au Rher is still semi close with humans). Marina and her would be allowed to live and be resurrected, in exchange for.. Well idk yet. I was thinking something to do with Moonscorching. Maybe every night they turn, or every few days, full moon, you know something like that.

So they're brought back to life, but both have MUCH stronger magic. Not only that but Samarie doesn't feel as sick as she used to be. The two later on realize they're stereotypical ✨️magical girls✨️ and fight against "villains" ig. The villains would be actual enemies from the games. Uhh I might add other characters to this au later on, but for now it's just my own little corny ship indulgent au so yeah!

(Sorry for any grammar errors I am tired lol)

Actual Headcanons:

Samarie uses a Star themed staff while Marina uses a Moon themed staff. I just thought it fit their souls aesthetic wise!

Samarie has extremely powerful magic, but is a terrible fighter. She's clumsy, messy, and a nervous wreck. Marina is a bit weaker magic-wise, but is wayy better in combat. She's more confident, focused, and skilled.

I think it'd be funny as shit to make Black Kalev their little sidekick.

They're constantly saving eachother. Usually it's Marina saving Samarie, but if Marina is in danger Samarie fucking kicks ass. She's still a crazy girl after all.

They have more stereotypical sparkly magic cuz.. Well magical girl. But they can still use other canon spells. It's just less convenient.

Their staffs will transform when they do. When they're not in their combat fits the staffs both turn into crystals. Both wear them around their necks like necklaces.

They can't use the gifted magic without the staffs. Basically they're witches in a way.

They do flirt on the battlefield cuz that's romantic imo. It's more Marina flirting and Samarie being a gay mess but that still counts!

In this au they're not dating (yet). Samarie obviously has a massive crush (or obsession) with Marina, and again after becoming friends Marina develops a crush back on her.

This has nothing, and I mean NOTHING to do with the au, Samarie has autism. I didn't know where else I'd share that hc so taking my chance rn.

Samarie still isn't used to the outfit change. Especially Marina's outfit (she is a lesbian disaster).

They rest and cuddle together after long battles. It'd be cute okay?

I might add more later (in which case I will post), and yes this is out of character. Sorry abt that. Uhh also I've never seen a magical girl anime. Like ever! I want to. I really wanna watch a few, just haven't gotten around to it.

[demonir]

Welcome to Adrian’s good omens thoughts while he’s half asleep again, on todays episode I want to talk about how important the gender expression in the show is to me

Don’t mind the typos I’m lying down without my glasses

I really appreciate how subtle they are about characters genders and stuff, characters with commonly male names being played by actresses and they still use stuff like “sir” or “lord” even if they also get referred to as they/them. They don’t make an intense effort to make them look incredibly androgynous either which like- idk it’s nice.

Knowing neither angels or demons have a defined gender also feels so so so nice because it comes paired with the fact they still choose to present in specific ways and use specific pronouns because newsflash bozo someone can be nonbinary or agender and still present masc as fuck or fem as fuck and use either he/him or she/her and if they wake up 2 weeks from now and change that they are still valid.

Which takes me to my second favorite point, Crowley’s change in gender presentation. I know we all know or at the very least agree he’s genderfluid but like I want to highlight the way he does it because it means so much to me. He has obviously chosen to be masc presenting through most of history (that we’ve seen, there could still be periods of time we haven’t seen where she’s been fem) and idk abt you but I was a tumblr teen years ago learning a very skewed version of gender identity and expression where if you wanted to be genderfluid you had to look very attractive as both genders and also PASS as both genders convincingly (as well as being perfectly androgynous when being neither, this also applied to nonbinary people), as well as change it like every 2 days or so and have no preference? That’s the way people would make it seem to me, that’s the way people would portray their genderfluid characters in fandom spaces and that’s the way my teenage mind came to absorb it.

Now, it’s 2024 and I’m sure all of us with common sense know this is bogus but still seeing Crowley just sorta… brightened my everything? Knowing nanny Crowley wasn’t just for the joke, knowing that during certain scenes she was indeed being fem… but the most important part to me is that no matter what he was still HIM, they could have gone the easy route and have an actress play fem Crowley and be like “oh well she’s a demon she can shapeshift whenever ooooo” like so many people do with their ocs (I was one at one point) but it is still obviously him, it is still David Tennant playing Crowley and nobody else and when she’s fem she’s still got the same features the same everything and that’s somehow just… so freeing to see? It’s realistic, it’s grounding. You can be fem and still have overly masculine features, you can be fem and still have facial hair, you can be masc and still wear makeup, you can be masc and not hide your chest.

Now I wish this was all just… more obvious to everyone, I know some of this stuff because I saw posts, I saw people talking about it… but not everyone is gonna go through a 3 hour post scavenger hunt for extra lore like I do and these things are simply not addressed in the show. There IS a certain freeing feeling to the gender stuff not being addressed, it simply happens, it passes by and you might not even notice, but also comes with the double edged sword of people simply thinking SOME of the characters have funny genders but the others don’t.

Sorry I’m distracted rn bc I can hear a fucking bohemian rhapsody cover coming from my moms tv the timing of this is fucking wild, anyways I’m gonna try to get my thoughts back on track

So yeah, to some people like for example my aforementioned mother, the nanny Crowley thing was merely a joke and nothing else, not a brief moment of gender expression but just a perhaps even nasty joke played at the expense of other people. To her every other Crowley before and after that has been strictly cis male and mlm despite the fact I did in fact explain to her that he’s not, same applies to Aziraphale and perhaps even harder because we only ever see him presenting masculine through the entirety of it and trying to explain otherwise to the woman that thinks she can use she/he on me because I’m bisexual will not work (and she refuses to use he/him on me anyways mind you, or my chosen name. Says it’s too complicated, but I know for a fact that if one of the characters had changed their name mid show she would switch to the new name instantly…..yknow… just casual transphobia for me only)

I would like just…a passing comment or a scene that lets everyone know the nuance yknow? Finally something that cannot be disputed by everyone, and you might say “well but Crowley says he’s neither when he gets called a good lad” and to that I say yes but people still dispute the meaning behind it, my mom certainly would. And again you might want to shake the nanny scene in front of me and again I’ll remind you of people thinking it was just a joke, a disguise, a singular haha funny. You might want to gesture towards other scenes or moments or passing phrases but the thing is they will or have already been debated on because people will try to deny it no matter fucking what and it’s FRUSTRATING, so perhaps it’s just me being petty or wanting to give them a good ol fuck you but I’d like it if either Crowley or Aziraphale or both just looked at the camera head on and went “we are not men, also Crowley is genderfluid” no ifs no butts no second meaning just straight to your face, a giant “shut the fuck up” to annoying people.

Now I’m not gonna die if this doesn’t happen, I’m fine with that… it just sorta feels depressing seeing someone in the wild genuinely saying shit like “why are you using she/her for Crowley? He’s a man” my brother in Christ I am about to hit you with the mallet of knowledge and you won’t be able to look at that demon the same way ever again.

The gender expression in good omens matters so much to me as someone who struggles with her own and Crowley and Beelzebub matter so much to me as a little afab genderfluid/nonbinary (I’m not sure yet) motherfucker, I need to go bite some fuckinf ccomcrete right now man, accidental typo but I’m keeping it.

[therealvinelle]

PAUSE? i have never considered the idea that TOM created the room of requirement. i actually never thought abt who mightve made it... but considering he hid the diadem "among years of students' discarded items" it was likely made before his time? damn there goes that idea. actually perhaps ravenclaw made it considering the diadem presumably also has some sort of legilimency powers (gives you "wisdom") and its located on the upper levels too

Anon is referring to this post, where I contemplated the Room of Requirements and put out that Tom might be the creator. And while it's not a theory I'm particularly invested in, I was... surprisingly able to come up with good arguments, at least good enough that Tom gets put on the list of possible creators for that room.

Just for the record, the "among years of students' discarded items" argument proves nothing about the age of the chamber. Harry enters the room where things are hidden, it simply means that Tom once entered the Room of Requirements with the thought "I need a good hiding place".

So, to retrace my thinking:

Somebody, somewhere, created the Room of Requirements

We have two scenarios for when the room was created, and it was either constructed along with the castle or it was made later on.

If it's the former then Tom Riddle obviously didn't create it, however, I will assume it's the latter. This room isn't used as a learning resource, it isn't widely known, and it is... a very strange thing to implement.

A bit about the Room of Requirements

Most of Hogwarts' esoteric features read like they were implemented by someone working to improve the school. The moving staircases seem impractical at first glance but I can imagine some genius thought, "this way the students will save energy as they can wait for the staircase to move them to where they wanted to go! Get fucked, Escher stairs!", the portraits are surely excellent guards for the student common rooms, just as the Ravenclaw tower being guarded by riddles will surely be delightful!

Were the people making these features particularly practical about it, no, but the point I'm making is that the Room of Requirements doesn't seem to have a purpose beyond being the place students can stash their porn.

It is, however, a room that detects students who are concentrating on a need, interprets this need and then to the best of its ability becomes a physical space filled with objects that are best suited to accommodate this need.

It reads to me like something someone created as an academic exercise.

We also know, from the Marauders being able to create a map that tracks every person present at Hogwarts, that Hogwarts is not... locked from students, for lack of a better term. However James, Sirius, Remus and Peter gained access to this kind of information (and I imagine they have the map connected to some kind of ward that does the surveillance for them, whether they erected the ward themselves or made a use of an existing one doesn't matter as either option allows students... an alarming amount of leeway) the fact remains they shouldn't have been able to.

Which goes a long way in indicating that rumors of Hogwarts impregnable wards might have been exaggerated.

Where Tom comes in

We know Tom was in the top tier of students to have attended Hogwarts, if the room's creator was a student then he's automatically on the shortlist.

And since the room is in Hogwarts, it would have to be either a student or faculty creating it. A student is in my eyes the most likely option, as a faculty member wanting to a bit of magical experimentation would have better arenas to do this than the hallway at their workplace.

A student growing up in a Muggle household, however, would not. If that student is also a prefect, later Head Boy, then all the more occasion to do this as it means he'd be able to be out past curfew with no questions asked.

As for why I suspect Tom specifically: the Room of Requirements is, at its core, a legillimency room. It reads your mind, and uses the direction of your thoughts to give itself form. It's a very neat enchantment, and something very few people would be capable of.

We know Tom Riddle was a talented legillimens even before he started Hogwarts, we know he was compelling people. We also know that by the time he was sixteen, he could implant false memories of committing a triple homicide in a stranger's mind. In other words, he'd been developing his talents. We also know Tom had a talent for wandless magic, and that he'd been self-taught for the first few years.

Now, seeing the Sorting Hat read minds and make verdicts but not be able to do anything further than that, and learning to make objects transform, vanish, or appear with the power of his mind in other classes, who's to say Tom Riddle wasn't inspired to create an object that would read the wizard's mind and then do the magic itself?

Last of all, we know he used the room.

What we know is that somebody certainly did this, and I think it is likely that this somebody was a student at Hogwarts, somebody extremely gifted and innovative and with a talent for Legillimency, and who didn't have occasion to create this room elsewhere.

I can't prove it was Tom, but he's on the shortlist.

[angelsdean]

hi!! i've spent the better part of my morning browsing through some of your tags, and i just wanted to tell you how much i enjoy you posting about young dean / queer dean and how it makes me so genuinely happy to read your thoughts on the matter (that i generally completely agree with btw). dean being well aware of his sexuality from the start is one of the most important aspects of the show for me at the moment.

i don't want to write a whole poem in your inbox but i am having so many Thoughts! my personal interpretation is that dean had already pretty much come to terms with his sexuality pre stanford era, and was actively and deliberately seeking dudes in his late teens (esp when he was away from sam and john and maybe had a chance to feel more free and unrestrained). i completely understand why people look at him and think '🫵 repressed' (i did too) but to me its so much more interesting and compelling and it adds so much more to his character to imagine him growing into his queer identity so comfortably (i love to think that, despite eveything, there was a part of himself that he didn't completely hate or reject, does this make sense?). also as you said, being repressed is def not the only reason why a person might have to suppress/not be loud about their sexuality. we don't talk about this nearly enough!! i NEED to read headcanons and fics and metas and see art about young queer dean!

hi Mila! oh wow thank you so much 💖 young queer Dean is so important to me too!

I love Stanford Era so much because it's really this time where I see Dean being at his most free, but also most lonely. And I think he's trying to make connections, and trying new things, and really getting to be. And I also love the idea of teen Dean carving out these pockets for himself too, when John is away, or when Dean gets sent away :( :( :(

I think Dean started figuring out pretty early on that he was "different." I wrote this little fic a while back exploring some aspects of Dean's gender + sexuality throughout the years, I haven't revisited it in a while and I feel like some of my thoughts may have changed but it's still a really special fic to me.

Lately, I've also been working on another little fic set during the summer Dean is 14. He and Sam are staying at Bobby's and while the fic is centered around something else, there are small moments where we see Dean's budding awareness of his sexuality. (There's a cute boy at a produce stand and a hot lifeguard at the community pool and lots of magazine clippings of Harrison Ford and Patrick Swayze---he just wants to be like them, ok!) And it's like he's aware but he also can't really look at those feelings directly yet. (Also the art you made recently of young Dean "figuring it out" is so near and dear to my heart!!)

Then I have two Stanford Era time-travel WIPs (hiiii Cas!) And oh boy. This guy is SO GONE on Cas from the jump! And that's what I love so much about Stanford Era Dean (or well, my Stanford Era Dean), is that he's just in such a free point in his life, and so open to new experiences. He's not freaking out abt his immediate attraction and infatuation with Cas. In fact, where Older Dean (our Dean) is more...restrained, perhaps, in his feelings (not that he doesn't express them! i am team dean + his big feelings) but just that my personal interpretation re: the dean + his feelings for Cas timeline has him thinking / convincing himself that Cas doesn't feel the same way for him in the later seasons. So this Older Dean has kind of just, accepted that fact. And is trying not to wear his heart on his sleeve so much (and not really succeeding at all). But Stanford Era Dean? Oh no no no. He is a little shit stirrer and a smitten kitten and is both immediately clocking the situationship-and-mututal-feelings happening between Dean and Cas (it's so obvious to everyone on the outside looking in) AND he's actively flirting with Cas and just lighting up under any and all attention from him (because he's also so so lonely. and touch-starved. and craving affection).

Anyways, all this to say, I am always here to talk abt young queer Dean / Stanford Era Dean !!! I'd love to hear more of your headcanons too💞

[souji-upseta]

yo my name is nyx, it's my birthday today (2/3). my birthdays have sucked SHIT the past few years for reasons that are depressing—

—cringe is also dead, i killed her myself, and i'm still grieving her loss. its been very hard for me—

—since i am the protagonist of Me and can do st abt this, this year i turn 31, and i will at some point turn 31.4, with all of this in mind, what do i want for my birthday? i'll tell you:

to talk about homestuck.

i'll do that, anyways, but you'd be doing me a gift by giving me a prompt to follow, and to feel slightly more validated in my inability to shut up about my hyperfixation.

so i'm asking YOU to talk about homestuck with me.

talk to me abt homestuck? ask me my headcanons. my thoughts. my relationship to the work. tell me yours. expect nothing that's profound, and plenty that's stupid.

i'm even turning anon on, for the first time in 6 fucking years. where making this happen.

this never expires btw. today is my birthday, but, for story purposes, let's say that it's still my birthday after it isn't, bc i will still want and, if i am honest, NEED you to talk to me about homestuck for years onward. i'm very metatextual like that.

i get the feeling it's going to be a long day.

>Nyx: Be the other guy.

You are now the other guy! What will you do?

>Web Tumblr User: Inbox Tumblr user souji-upseta?

>Mobile App Tumblr User: Do that, but hyperlink is unavailable?

=(n×∞)>

FOURTH WALL BREAK!

you are now nyx again, and i am now me, and i need to exposit some lore.

as in, some starting points to get u going, since "homestuck" is a very broad subject:

•i'm a massive massive slut for the epilogues and post canon content/hsbc. pesterquest is too good for this gay earth.

•dirk is my fav, ALL of the dirks, all of them, and it isn't even close. my fav relationship is the canon platonic/familial one between dirk and dave. i fucking love the striders. dave is my 1.5th fav.

•im more invested in dave's relationship to corndogs (and corn dogs) than you even know.

•mspa reader is my second fav after the striders, bc they are a good thembo friendsimp and also bc they are me and they are You. i might be biased. i love You. i love me. i love us. we're fucking gr8.

•im pretty canon-compliant, so my fav ship is dirkjake as exes (for now), and my fav ship as not-exes is panquadrant (canon) davekat.

i'm also really fascinated by rosemary and would welcome more opportunities to learn abt and talk about them but if homestuck makes a statement about anything it's to let the women and the sapphic characters tell their story (thats a joke, talk to me abt them too)

•june eg(g)bert real.

•i'm fascinated by classpects and the applications of paradox space's classpecting and extended zodiac system when applied to real life, since our only experience of those fictional systems is in linear dimensions of spacetime, and our only experience of astrology is as a species that in-universe cannot experience the sign caste system the same way the fictional aliens that created our species in their own image do. skaia knows, but we sure as fuck don't.

•i'm a former prince of heart (2012-2020) and a current knight of space, and my aspect is light. that is a thing that actually makes perfect sense for the reasons i just said.

don't ask me about vriska serket or (vriska) serket. not bc i'm not willing to discuss dark or problematic characters (hello, lanque bombyx) but bc:

for one, she can speak for her damn self, and has, tyvm.

for two, talking at length about a problematic character in any positive capacity marks you as an enemy of the state if that character is a woman, and being an enemy of the state is way too much fucking pressure for me for reasons i already explained as soon as i told you i'm a knignt of space. i wouldnt make a very good enemy of the state. it'd be an unhealthy blackrom relationship to the detriment of us all.

for three, i can just give you all my opinions/headcanons on vriska that matter:

•JOHN HUGGING VRISKA IN HSBC YESSSSSSSSSS

•she's greasy and gross and unkept af but not unclean or unsanitary, like, she bathes, she smells fine, she changes her clothes, but she's got the troll crust punk aesthetic absolutely on LOCK. she doesn't comb her hair.

•it would have been funny if she did even more bad things

•aradia did nothing wrong. vriska did but the meme is funny even if someone needs to take that meme out back and shoot it for the good of humanity.

•she should beat up ultimate dirk, and my reasoning for that is bc that would, also, be really fucking funny if she did

•john has both punched her in the face and hugged her, and now that john has punched aranea in the face, all that's left is for june—i assume she will have come out of her egg(bert) by then—to hug aranea and complete the circle of stupidity.

•she is trans yeah but she doesn't wanna get into it, she doesn't have to, and neither do i.

•vrisrezi most important relationship in homestuck.

there. you already got me to talk about vriska at length, and you didn't have to try. moot issue.

[transmascpetewentz]

Was talking abt this with my family and decided this needed to be a post on the webbed site:

A fundamental way that antisemitism operates that makes it so difficult to remove from leftist spaces is by taking the broad scope of problems in the world and finding a couple that can be vaguely tied or related to Judaism in some way, then taking "this is tangentially related to Jews" to mean "Jews are 100% responsible for this." It's particularly this sentiment that I see echoed in most of the antisemitic posts that I see on the dash.

It's one of the reasons, imo, why the west is so focused on Israel as opposed to the situation in the Congo, Sudan, or Ukraine. All four of these situations suck and are very clearly, to any person observing, bad. However, only one of these awful situations where war crimes are being committed is one that I hear about every day, that I am told if I so much as block some tags relating to it that I am a bad person. And that's the one where people can blame The Jews for it.

Despite Russia currently committing what I would call a genocide against Ukrainians, many westerners who preach anti-colonialism are completely silent or worse. I thought that silence meant you are directly complicit? Odd, huh? Does this principle of being against historical imperial powers committing genocide against colonized people not apply when the colonized nation has more than three times the relative Jewish population compared to the colonizer?

Yep. And many of the most prominent antisemitic antizionists are completely pro-Russia because Russia claims to be against quote-unquote "western degeneracy," which is literal Nazi shit. As a Russian who regularly speaks out against slavophobia/russophobia/anti-Russian people sentiment on the left and the right, I am horrified by westerners' complete disregard for human life and basic moral principles to defend my country's genocide.

And this idea of blaming all tangentially-related problems on Jews isn't just showcased in how much people focus on Israel, but also in who gentiles tend to call "zionists" and the attributes that they prescribe onto anyone who is labeled a zionist. Zionism is a political movement with historical basis in Judaism, but the actual definition of zionism is irrelevant to the critique I am about to make. My issue is with how some gentiles define, or don't define, zionism.

I have said this before, but when some leftist gentiles are asked to name a few qualities that all zionists share, they might give a list that's something like this: they are pro-Israel, they support Israel's genocide of Palestinians, they are completely anti-Palestine, and they do not have nuanced takes on I/P. Of course, this is a batshit insane and very ahistorical take on zionism, but I would have less of an issue if these gentiles would stick to that definition and only call people zionists if they shared all of those qualities.

Instead, these same gentiles who claim that all zionists share these opinions will claim that any Jew, convert-in-progress, or ally that doesn't hate Jews is a zionist. This circles back to my first point about how antisemitism takes anything where Jews are involved and turns it into "Jews are The masterminds behind this." And that's exactly what this is. The label of zionist being applied to a non-zionist turns their views from nuanced and neutral to racist and genocidal in the eyes of antisemites.

The idea that all Jews one doesn't like must be behind some child-murdering conspiracy is an antisemitic one, no matter how real the child murder happening in Palestine is. Random Jews, even Israeli Jews, are not responsible for the actions of their government (which is being backed mostly by gentiles overseas, btw). Stop fucking taking any instance of a bad thing being tied to Jews or Judaism and blowing it up into calling Jews the masterminds behind it. There is no global conspiracy, no matter how much you wish there was for your daily dose of emotional support antisemitism.

Reading Comprehension Questions:

What do you think that OP means when they say "The Jews" with both the "t" and "j" capitalized? Is he using that language seriously, or is he trying to get another message across?

Is this a post about Israel and Palestine, or is this a post specifically addressing antisemitism within the pro-Palestine movement on the left? Additionally, does OP give any meaningful indication of his views on I/P within the post?

Why does OP talk for two paragraphs about the situation in Russia and Ukraine? How is OP more qualified than the average Tumblr user to have an opinion on Russia?

Why is OP, despite not being Jewish, making a post about this subject? How might OP be more qualified than the average gentile to make a post about antisemitism?

Does OP blame Palestinians for antisemitism on the left in this post? Does OP single out any specific ethnic or racial group as opposed to just gentiles?

Have I sat with and mentally answered to myself the above questions before I clicked on OP's page to send him an anon telling him to kill himself?

[arthuluart]

Hiii - wanted to say first thing first I love your art style, it's so dynamic and fun and those color palettes? Stunning ^^

And second thing second, just some food for thought if you ever want to get angsty about Jerry and Dean, coffee by Chappell Roan sounds like it was written about their break up specifically and I can't stop thinking abt it dndnden

*Cue me losing my mind*

Hiii- they say flattery gets you everywhere and turns out with me, it gets you animatics- jkjk but I do appreciate the kind comments ^^

I’ll put up the animatic separately and take the opportunity to leave the preamble here to keep the video post neat bc until someone tells me to shut up and just post art- I’m gonna ramble… So here’s the commentary you didn’t ask for along with my favourite panels:

First off- You turned me into a big time Chappell Roan listener which is great bc I need music recs to fix my listening habits before Spotify wrapped drops. My roundup last year was shameful… Red Wine Supernova is my new dish washing song.

Even tho it’s not the song’s vibe I kept the content as silly as I could for my own sanity. I don’t love getting too deep into the serious/sad side of M+L for a few reasons but I do find it all very interesting. Point being this song was too good to pass up doing something a bit bigger for.

Ngl tho- this did have me pulling out hair at multiple points. I never colour animatics, rarely even tone them- but you mentioned colour palettes and I was determined to deliver so pardon the messy colouring but (that was the tradeoff) I did not have it in me to stay in the lines. I’m choosing to be kind to myself and opt to call it an artistic choice and not midway burnout. And nothing was gonna get me to open after effects/premiere not even the janky ass golf ball OML this only makes sense if u watch the video.

There are parts of this I’m SO happy with and others I hate. I think it’s really obvious which sections I started losing steam on but overall I lowkey like the end product. Nothing I make will ever be good/perfect- this was one hell of a practice in accepting that lmao- but I can still be ok with the work problems and all yknow? I very nearly shelved this completely bc I got so worked up about the maybe 5 panels I dislike out of 106 total. Counting them was eye opening to ask myself: you’re gonna let that small a ratio stop you from sharing this after putting in days and days of effort? The insecurity goes deep and TBH getting asks has been a nice way of working through it since I post the art I make for answers no matter what only bc I KNOW someone out there wants to see it. It might not sound it but it’s actually quite positive.

Also, although I feel I’ve done my fair share of reading, I’m no expert. So if anything is really off point- sorry my bad (I won’t fix it tho bc I cannot physically stand to look at this another second lol)

I tried to stick to real things found in articles/books/photos/interviews etc bc outside of obviously fictional AUs I’m not super into making stuff up about them (and who needs to I mean the legit stuff is already insane enough) Sure I framed the events in specific ways to suit the song and some aspects are fictionalized (mainly bc the referenced written accounts lacked detail to draw 100% faithfully from anyhow) but otherwise I got my sources cited.

ANYWAYS… sorry for hijacking this answer I need to learn to chill out. Irl I’m a pretty reserved talker so you can tell I’m in a comfy place when I let loose and blather on endlessly lmao brevity is not a skill I possess.

You were probably expecting illustrations or smth but I hope what I came up with is still somewhat alright AND please don’t let my complaining fool you, I genuinely loved making this.

One FINAL Relevant Note: the line “nowhere else is safe every place leads back to your place” is gut wrenching. You’re so right about this song perfectly describing the break up. They always came back to each other and there’s something so devastating about that kind of haunting human connection.

OkAY I’m done promise- I thought I’d implode if I didn’t get all that out

[encrucijada]

infodump abt pathetic man adam

funniest ask i've ever gotten. no context. anonymous. a simple request.

a list of things i think i haven't talked about regarding adam, some that i have, from both the pjoverse and dreamersverse:

adam is actually pretty decent around kids. he was second in command of the apollo cabin for 5ish years before his brother lee fletcher died in the battle of the labyrinth and he was made counsellor for the battle of manhattan. adam is like that cool older brother in a 90s tv show who lets you drink beer when you shouldn't have.

in both verses he works at a bar. both as a bartender and as entertainment, depends on the day of the week. he does gigs elsewhere when he can. forewent university, didn't think he had the brain for it because of his frankly debilitating adhd. adam barely graduated high school.

weapon of choice in the pjoverse is the recurve bow because son of apollo. is capable of fighting melee (with a sword) if the situation demands it, but just barely. in the dreamersverse it's actually the opposite, he doesn't shoot with a bow at all and prefers to have something he can brute force hit things with.

speaking of debilitating adhd. adam is always fidgeting even if just a little, rarely does his leg stop bouncing and he has a clicker toy he carries in his pocket. plays around with rubix cubes not to solve them but just to spin them around. hums songs as a stim (<- he shares this one with piedad). cannot function without caffeine.

has the talent but not the creativity. can sing just about anything but not write any of his own music.

in the pjoverse he avoids singing in uncontrolled environments, because even having control over his powers he never knows if he could cause some weird side effects. only feels truly unrestrained in battle or at camp.

adam is the way he is because i was trying super hard not to make your typical "golden boy" son of apollo. also because i found the loveless cover of middle of the night. my hand accidentally slipped and now... he's this.

my best friend irl called him "cold, cutting, and prideful".

i dunno about pjoverse adam but dreamersverse adam's got a couple of tattoos. including but not limited to: a sun on his forearm, wings from his shoulder blades to the backs of his arms, a hawk eating a rabbit, three stars on his ribs, and my notes says i'm giving him a sleeve tattoo.

he never participated in a proper quest but he was there for every single bead that's on annabeth's camp necklace. was already at camp when luke first arrived.

his fatal flaw is arrogance ("however bright you shine, i shine brighter")

has a substantial collection of scars as every demigod does but of note we've got: on his cheekbone, going down from his collarbone, the stab scar on his gut. these also translate to the dreamersverse.

the only thing he got from apollo appearance-wise are the eyes. adam tends to let his hair get long until he starts considering it obnoxious, then he asks the aphrodite cabin to cut it. if you're in cabin 7 and have had hairclips gone missing, he probably took them.

if you've read pt.1 of pointed north you know candy calls adam "mi príncipe". this means "my prince."

i might be giving him brown eyes in keep staring.

his last names are flipped depending on the verse! pjoverse he's adam rubio guerra, since rubio means "fair-haired" and i thought it sounded like a child of apollo lastname. in the dreamersverse he's adam guerra rubio, guerra means "war".

has always wanted a dog.

having a weighed blanket would cure him but he doesn't know this. what he does know is he sleeps best when piedad lays on top of him.

broke his nose and it never healed quite right.

never dare him to do something while he's drunk. he will do it, no matter how dangerous it might be. the safest thing he could be doing post-break up is making out with whoever gives him attention while inebriated.

[vveakfish]

thinking abt this post (not adding a screenshot bc op [@mrpsychokiller] turned off reblogs and i wanna respect that) but like, idk it just got my brain moving.

i did my undergrad thesis on how sex and community in queer spaces can often go hand in hand & how kink can act as a vehicle for finding community within a subculture can in some (but not all) cases be Very sex centric.

And it was such a fucking trip to work on this project within the confines of Art School™ & realize that nearly every one of my professors wrote off the deeper meaning of my work because the images i was making were a lil kinky.

It created this really strange dichotomy within the feedback i got that semester.

My peers (namely the ones who were also queer freaks themselves) fucking Got It. we had in depth conversations about what it was that i was trying to say, and it was so great to have them around me while i worked myself to the bone on these prints.

but when i got critiques from my thesis advisor –and all the other professors in my program – it was like all they could see was the fact that i was depicting men who also happened to be sexy.

I remember about half way through the semester, when we did our like midterm review or whatever, there was very little talk about my technique, or if the images were effectively conveyed, or any of the other things my peers who were tackling less ‘risqué’ subject matter got feedback on. It was all about how the work was horny & bc of that they weren’t sure if it was ‘impactful enough’ to be thesis material.

“Okay, so u think they’re hot. Now what?”

And the thing that i found So interesting about this whole thing is that these prints weren’t even the most erotic work i’d done that year.

the last project i’d worked on the semester prior to thesis was a series of four paintings of porn stills. Dick, Balls, AND Hole all lovingly rendered in oils.

So when it came time to figure out what i wanted to do for thesis, i considered going in that same direction. But in the end, i decided the point of the project wasn’t the Raunch factor. So, i chose to pare back the sex so that my message wouldn’t get lost in it.

And Yet, there i was, standing in front of a room full of str8 ppl who couldn’t look past the suggestiveness of a twunk bound in shabari, or a big chested bear in a leather jacket, or a drag queen dancing in sexy lace up heels for long enough to even consider that maybe the work Wasn’t just about that.

The thing i realized (only at the end of the semester in trying to work through my feelings on all of this as i wrote out my thesis paper) was that outside of my peers, none of the people who had a chance to view my work and engage with it before it was complete did so in good faith. They decided that my work was intellectually worth less because it could be read as horny.

And like, ignoring the fact that i wasn’t making these images for sexual gratification, it shouldnt have MATTERED if i were !!!

These professors spent four years talking about how our work should evoke feeling in people, and that we should keep that in mind while composing our images etc. etc. etc.

but as soon as they thought the reaction the work might have been evoking was Horny™ it wasn’t deep enough.

I don’t really have a conclusion to this post, other than to say i fucking agree with the sentiment of the one i linked at the top. Fetish, kink, or sex should not detract from a work of art. And the fact that it does is a disservice not just to the artists who enjoy working on that kind of subject matter, but also the audience.

If your first response when seeing a work of art and learning that it Might have some element of sex involved in it is to deem it wrong, or shallow, or gross, you’re robbing yourself of the opportunity to engage with the work in a meaningful way.

and this is not to say “everyone should look at fetish art, idc if it icks you, get over it!!”

all i ask is that you investigate why it evokes such a strong reaction in you. Is your discomfort actually about the image itself? or is there something else going on. Sit with it for a second.

and since i wrote all this out and talked about my thesis, i might as well link the essay here. I’m still really proud of this project, and i have the prints embedded within the essay, so check it out if you have the chance!

[askuemki]

ranting about WCUE

I have ALOT of (maybe) unnecessary grudges with so many things abt WCUE. I love reading rants, so I'll as might as well put out my own too. To the people (probably most of my followers) who don't know what the game is, basically it's a children's game on Roblox based off of the book series Warrior Cats, by Erin Hunter. I apologize in advance, there may be some lingo you may not understand.

So WCUE has been my comfort game for many, many years. Partly, it's my childhood and it's just a game I can just go and chill. Make silly cats without working my ass off on drawing. But when I want to actually go and try and join a clan? Have fun roleplaying a little? (I'll admit, it's a fun thing from time to time.) Every. Single. Fucking. clan. Never manages to keep itself up. It takes SO LONG to set things up. To get the right people. It'll take hours for a clan to get running. And for what? For people to sit in the clearing? For your complicated "fun" plots to fall flat? I don't get being picky. Sure, you want your major roles to have experience, to know their shit. But if you keep yearning for that one miss perfect medicine cat who knows all of the out of game herbs? Bullshit. Major roles are here to have fun too, not to just manage. It's so frustrating whenever I want to be a leader, or a medic and to have 1000's of kids yapping at my toes. You're expected to babysit. To do their wishes. You only matter as a major because you're needed. Something else with these "experienced roleplays" is the cliques. People form friend groups, that's natural. But if it's a game where people are SUPPOSED to chat and cooperate, what's the point if you don't include them too? Those prophecy plots? It's only fun if you're the main character. People who join later are confused, or you get shoved into the back. And when the rules are established? NOBODY upholds them after 10 minutes. I'm tired of seeing people sitting in the clearing, or moping around alone. I'll admit I'm quite guilty sitting by myself, but at some point you'll need to get thing going with one or more people. You'll eventually get demotivated from loneliness. Another thing, "exp" people. (Or cats, per say.) It frustrates me to see people using these unnecessarily lengthy words to describe something. Incandescent, tarsal bones, premolars, dentations, all of that bullshit-you don't need those words when people can't even understand you. Recently, I got some real good advice from a mentor. Good writing doesn't involve using these long words. If they aren't in your everyday vocabulary? Just don't. Don't use them. You come off as arrogant and show offish. (Unless that's how you intend to display yourself.) Good writing involves clarity, making things CLEAR for other people. Instead of using words only Shakespear would use, why not describe your surroundings in your descriptions? Other cats? Going in depth with thoughts? If you want to go the route where you're using complicated vocabulary, at least research the words you want to use. Again, I'm guilty for this phase.

My partner was telling me about how she was auditioning for medic, and the person auditioning posted this question: "What herb tastes tangy and bitter?" (or something of the like.) It was yarrow. At least according to a quick search- it's supposed to taste like licorice. I'm convinced clan founders auditioning medics are making shit up. What herb is this? What herb is that? The more "experienced" players lean towards out of game herbs, and it gives an unfair advantage for players wanting that role. I don't have time in my day to study herbs like I'm studying for my exams. The "unexperienced" players (maybe this can also be for everyone) have problems too, I'm not going to just complain about the veteran members. HARASSMENT. There's those people who shoo spectators away like pests. It's a public server. It isn't YOUR clan, let them exist. It pisses me off when they're so abrupt and arrogant about it. If you ask? Maybe they'd be more willing to move away. It also sucks when there is a valid roleplay with specific lore, and (agreeable) rules to follow, and people insert themselves like they're the main character. No, SpeckledPelt you can't have the leader role just because you equipped the icon. No BloodBush (fuck you, specifically), you wanted to join the clan; don't boss the host around when they're trying to set things up for you. I miss the WCUE where we didn't have to be so choosey about the people we appoint for roles. I miss the WCUE where we can be silly and fun, without having to feel sophisticated. Sure maybe the name "MochaHeart" is a little wacky, but at least they're doing their best to roleplay. To have fun.

[nosolaceofastraightanswer]

okay so i jsut finished s1 (i know im so behind 😭😭😭😭) and started thinking about reggie and i have some thoughts ( im going to yap) so!!!!! return of:

TUAMRE24 ALGAMATION POST (real ones remember these from the summer of ‘23) FOR S1

i feel like a large fanon reputation for him is him being this completely evil asshole of a dad. and this is mostly unrefined bcs of the lack of canon material for the hargreeves’ childhood (i am yet to read young blood but i do have it, ill make a post). but i think a different reading would be more accurate to canon

in a way he kind of haunts the narrative of s1 up until plus contacting him, and even then he is so vague it’s hard to grasp a motive from him.

s2 and s3 kind of only bring more questions, which are more frustrating because in s3 so many things are revealed -and s2 has the alien reveal too- but this reginald is not the one that raised them.

so that original reginald, no matter how similar, continues to haunt the narrative (i hope im using this term correctly 🙏). he’s not the one they’re talking to, collaborating with, getting murdered by (luther ☹️) but he’s the influence behind not only their perceptions of the sparrow reggie but also everything they encounter considering he raised them and all

this bring us back to my thesis, i think a better reading of reggie (that a lot of people have touched on b4 me don’t get me wrong) is where he genuinely cares for the umbrellas in his own sort of way.

i mean, going back to s1 he obviously says that shit to klaus in the barbershop about potential, which probably points more to the marigolds thing than anything- but what i found interesting is when viktor was given the violin and there’s the whole flashback with abigail (?) and he seems to genuinely have some fondness for viktor learning the violin outside of just fulfilling his dead wife’s (?) wishes. (how did aliens get a violin? we’re they introduced to the earth by aliens in the first place? is reginald from the future? these are all questions i worry will not be answered in six episodes)

i think it’s interesting to take into account how aliens might have a different way of viewing love and affection. their culture and even biology might be so wildly different that humans and aliens are incompatible for connections. of course this is more speculation that anything else, but i feel like reginald’s alien status should be utilized more in the text because genuinely what the fuck is going on

this turned into a lot of different thoughts about reggie so i’m gonna make some smaller posts abt other s1 stuff

if anyone reading this hiiiii ☂️☂️☂️☂️☂️

[our-trans-punk-experience]

Mohawk anon here, actually it's a lie that I got all my info from Wikipedia, I did some digging before hand and found this article kinda useful https://www.popsugar.com/beauty/mohawk-hairstyle-history-48916724 look idk if u care abt this topic, it was completely stressing me out yesterday in a way I don't think is entirely normal (idk I think I'm starting to treat politics like religion in the way I berate myself as if I have sinned) I know anything more complicated than a yes or no answer on this topic will never be enough to suffice for me I feel like such a bad leftist and a hypocrite, like I'm happy to change myself when I learn my behaviour is wrong bit not for something that actually matters a lot to me, like I care about my hair SO much and I want to keep it SO much bit I don't want to live with guilt over something that may not be an issue or is at the least a very complex one. Have you ever dealt with anything like this and am I a bad person for feeling this way?

Ok hello, first I would like you to take some deep breaths.

[For context anon sent me two asks in a row, the first being an ask over whether mohawks were offensive to wear, in the same tone as above post]

I am not Native American, but I have been around the scene a while and seen a variety of takes on this. I'll open this ask obviously to corrections but from pretty much everything I've ever seen or experienced, no the hairstyle you refer to is not offensive to wear. It's not a closed practice, and tbh the way that punks style it is so different to any sort of traditional cut that the name "mohawk" is the only thing that still ties it to indigenous people.

Obviously exceptions apply if you were say, wearing it as a "costume" to mock native people, but having a 'hawk as a punk has not ever seemed to offend anyone for being any sort of cultural appropriation.

Second point, while I thank you for having the self awareness to realise that you've started to treat political correctness like a religion and that that's not great, I suggest you maybe go further with that and start doing the work to move forward from that?

I get how hard it can be, especially as someone who when growing up would often have their words taken wildly out of context and spun to make me look awful. You feel defensive, you feel like you could be swooped on at any moment for something you didn't even know was wrong. It is awesome you don't want to hurt people, but take some time to self develop so if you ever do accidentally do or say something out of line, you'll be able to fix it and move on without feeling like you're gonna get dammed to hell?

You're not a bad person for having anxious thoughts about fucking up socially. You're not a bad person for wanting to keep a hairstyle you love while worrying it might be appropriation. But try and not define whether you're a bad person on how PC an Internet dude says you are OK? You care, and that's amazing, so keep on growing, and don't ever feel like you're damned for not knowing all the answers.

[marbleboa]

I'd like to write a little something something sakuyama but I cannot for the life of me decide which relationship scenario is best for them. Keeping relationship secret from claw? Koyama not caring to talk abt it but Sakurai HATES him to bc he doesn't mix personal with professional life? Actually hooking up after Claw disbanded? Been an item for several years and nobody knew?? I think every idea got its potential but I can't decide. What's your personal hc for em?

Right? There's so many possibilities--but that's the fun part about hc stuff like this, you don't necessarily have to stick to one idea for everything you make! We don't get much about the Scars' histories with the organization and each other prior to Season 1, plus the unknown happenings between seasons. It's always very fun to see the different interpretations people have and how they compare/contrast.

In regards to my own thoughts, I actually had been typing up a draft on ideas for the way their relationship develops over the course of the series so. Perfect timing. Hope you find these helpful!

Claw Era: Rivalry+mutual attraction turns into what's meant to be a solely physical relationship to let off steam. Despite their best efforts, something akin to affection starts to develop deep down--expressed subtly, of course(like this). Koyama doesn't give a damn about secrecy but Sakurai makes him keep quiet, more so out of his own pride than any fear of repercussions. For Claw, the vibe I got is that HQ doesn't care about the Scars as long as they do their jobs(getting each other injured would affect) so even if the matter somehow reached them they don't really care. Some of the other Scars know something's up but, well, those two are a dangerous pair--as long as they aren't killing each other, best not get involved.

Post-Fall of 7th Division: Sakurai still insists on getting involved in Koyama’s business even though he really has no obligation to with the organization gone. To his own denial and both of their irritation, Sakurai's grown to care about what happens to him. It’s because of his influence that Koyama joins the other former Scars despite 1. not being there for Reigen’s speech and 2. Being a stubborn asshole. On Koyama's end, Sakurai’s become a pretty big weakness of his. He still doesn't trust the others, doesn't trust this weird Reigen guy they've called in who's apparently a big deal, but he trusts Sakurai. Also if he behaves he gets to make out with a hot guy, so. Win.

Post-WD Arc: Sakurai lets Koyama live with him under the convenient excuse of sharing rent and giving a fellow ex-Scar some help while he finds work--but he needs Koyama just as much as Koyama needs him. With Claw gone there's no way back, and having someone at his side while he faces rejoining society is a mortifying yet undeniable comfort. For Koyama, he has a lot of doubt about the whole 'becoming a commoner' thing and starts off feeling aimless, but Sakurai ends up give him direction. Granted, that often comes in the form of his own concerns about Koyama's capacity for change inciting this weird kind of...positive spite. He wants to prove Sakurai wrong, prove himself to him, it's like their former rivalry but more constructive. This leads into them working with each other again, and they learn to settle into a more domestic life.

As a sort-of aside, I really like the idea of their relationship being built upon things unsaid—it’s not a conventional romance by any means. They bicker like an old married couple, are attached at the hip, clearly are the most important thing in the world to each other, but then look at you like you’ve got two heads if you ask if they’re dating.

God I don’t even know when they’d get around to bringing out the L word. Sakurai has so many hangups about his capacity to love/be loved from his upbringing—hearing something so overt might make him panic and try to withdraw if it isn’t done carefully. And Koyama, for all his growth at this point, still isn’t really in touch with his emotions enough that he’d be able to have those sort of deeper conversations easily. But it doesn’t mean the emotions aren’t there, you know? And in the end they’re happy with how they are, with taking anything the other is willing to give.

[bulbabutt]

yooooooo all i do lately is vent vent vent uhhh

itsssss really annoying to feel traumatized over shit that doesnt actually matter at all but you cant feel like a person who functions cuz of it

like. mkay, few years ago i did a stupid thing which was uh. pre coming out but post taking testosterone tell this girl ('girl' she was older than me, im an adult but sos she) i that i was trans. then that i had a crush on her. like a fucking idiot, i was like 'girl pretty girl nice maybe i can finally have something'

and the thing was like. we had this lax fucking job that didnt matter, we were both basically running this shitty lil store nobody came in for the christmas season. and like i had admitted id never done anything, but i should have noticed it was gonna be weird quicker, cuz while she was understanding of like 'ok yeah youre a dude i get that' it was. hmm. it wasnt really like she felt like that, and she didnt notice so much that shit she would say hurt my feelings. like this was so unserious honestly, but uh the thing abt taking t in your mid 20s is youre like... right im... im going through a literal puberty and being stupid as a teenager. im bad with expressing my feelings normally cuz of that.

anyway. it was a fling really. it was stupid and shouldnt have happened, and it probably hurt me more than i thought, but she got like... jealous of one of the employees who id known from a prev job... who to me was like. literally a child (cuz like, id known her since she was) and that made me feel so weird, cuz i was like ?? why the hell would i be thinking about her like that i havent done ANYTHING that would make you think that. and hello i only said i liked you ? but then i guess the age gap was the same in her eyes and so that might have been why she thought that. but like pfft if youre ~25 dating a ~30 yr old its whatever thats normal. going the other way gets weirder ESP if uh. HELLO i was this kids boss?? that was so weird that she felt like that. i guess cuz i was just better at getting along w people younger than me, as someone who isnt a TRUE millennial, someone whos pop culture references lean gen z or whatever. idk i just know kids like my vibe for some reason. there was NEVER anything else going on i was just... being chill? but that was enough to cause jealousy.

but like yeah theres only so many 3 weeks in 'i dont think this is a good idea i think im bad for you' texts you can get before you just go 'yeah you know what i dont wanna do this anymore actually thats fine no hard feelings'

but i tend to be a person who just cant socialize with people for long periods of time, i ghost people a lot, i dont have a history of having friends i dont know how to maintain relationships, but also i really didnt want to at this point. i felt really gross about it and embarrassed for putting myself out there and admitting a secret about myself.

anyway next year rolls around and i see her at the next job season and she tells me she and another coworker found my tiktok page (cuz shit forcibly adding your contacts IS THE DEVIL) and uh. she had to explain to said coworker that i was trans. which. felt like shit. obviously. i was still not out.

anyway THAT person was a piece of shit who talked down to me and acted like i was terrible at my job and brought aLL the personal shit up as if i had ever trusted HER with any of it. like using my new chosen name in texts and shit to call me out for nothing. i had to give her a fucking 'excuse me, you dont get to call me that i never fucking told you that and its WEIRD that you think you get to call me that just cuz you invaded my privacy.'

she literally told both my bosses about all my private shit with this girl. like all that stupid bullshit about how we had dated and it didnt go well, she spread my private shit. and like... it all... ugh. like i got told by said bosses 'hey. none of what she said is important at all dont even worry about it.' and i really appreciated that. but that year was so bad for me, i felt like i was being watched like everything i did was being misconstrued. everything blew up so fast if there was something sma,, and it was 100% that person making it worse.

next year i just came out finally just was like. yeah alright. got a beard now, had my tits removed, might as well. and everyone was chill. personal beef spreading bitch didnt come back (the bosses were glad of that) shit was chill. was on friendly terms with "ex" being normal, never had any beef that year. was very much a 'the beef we had the previous year was this bitch egging her on'. i was partially running store. everything was fine i thought.

next year. as it turns out? was not asked to help run store that year. was very confused, there was a slot to fill that no one else could and i wasnt asked to do it. instead they had this absolute bigot who made everyone and i mean EVERYONE who worked there so uncomfortable, abusive language bigoted talk, wouldnt let people leave if they were sick ass piece of shit.. yeah he got the job. and everyone complained, but hes friends with the boss so whatever.

anyway reached my wits end. quit mid season. was fine, i was moving anyway, it was whatever.

you know why i wasnt asked to have that job? cuz the ex. for some reason without thinking, said 'yeah ill come back but i dont want him to be in charge after last year'. and she... never told me there was any problem. and that hurt me so bad. like talking to other people who were there, it all seemed like... okay, i was good at my job and would just.. act like a boss and not a friend sometimes. like be the guy going 'hey can you like. go do __ i need to count the till i dont have time to hear your funny joke rn'. and she took it personally. like its fine if youre sensitive to stuff, but i was under so much stress a lot and i dont always handle it well.

and that beef she had that she didnt tell me about turned into me losing a job, losing my sanity, feeling utterly betrayed and forcing everyone else who worked there to deal with the biggest pos as a boss with no repercussions. i heard from people post quitting i was being talked shit about by my prev bosses TO the employees. for the crime of... complaining about a bigot. who was misgendering me, being racist to other employees, making the teens feel unsafe to be around. like this was a SCREAMING old man kind of shit.

and all because the ex, initially, made a comment about not wanting me to be in charge. and i just... i really dont even know what i did. it was so underhanded. and when i asked her about it, she just said 'no i didnt say i WOULDNT work under you i just said i HOPED you wouldnt be in charge, and weeks later i asked why you werent in charge' but like??? no. you literally said something that cost me a job. you did. theres no taking that back, you didnt tell me any beef you had with me, you clearly equated job stress with personal stress. you cost me a job! YOU did that you set off a chain of events! and like i cant even begin to explain how much i helped her with shit at jobs. like i kind of took all the responsibility but we were both being paid the same. i would get called every day by her being confused by things while i was at home and help walk her through shit. it was fine, i was stressed but i was fine i never held it against her!

and she like. blew up that entire shit. that whole job i loved got blown up cuz i thought i trusted a person. like was it entirely her fault? obviously not. but that kind of shit.. it just hurt. the idea that i trusted her with my own shit years ago, then time and time again that blew up in my face until i just cant look back at any of it happily anymore makes me so upset. 8 years of a job i loved w a friend, and it all got ruined cuz i said 'hey by the way, im trans' and that spiralled into something stupid.

and i havent had a job since for SOOOOOOME REASON..... i sit at home doing fuck all cuz i cant stand the idea of being around anybody again. i dont trust anybody. i dont feel safe talking to people, being in public, having a job... its so stupid and i hate everything.

also the whole. got clocked and almost punched had my 6 ft brother not been standing near me at the time thing. so now i am uh. just completely agoraphobic.

anyway. sorry i am just in a bad place lately.