#i might just cry again
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#my apartment building caught fire at like 2am and it was Bad bad#i got myself and my cats out okay but the only reason i didnt panic was cuz i didnt realize it was real and not a false alarm#anyway my unit is fine no damage in it or anything which is good#but after getting out of the building i was in the perfect spot to listen to the first responders try and fail to resuscitate someone#they just ended up leaving their body laying on the pavement covered in a tarp and i saw it and it was fucking awful#i just feel so fucking awful and im still gonna go to work cuz if i just stay inside all day im gonna get even more jittery and anxious and#i might just cry again#i cried a little when i say them drag that person out of the building and try to help them#but i didnt really Sob until i was back in my unit#is this potentially doxxable information yeah probably but i need to keep telling people so i can come to terms with all of it
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pick your battles
#my art#my stuff#art#comic#original art#pride 2024#pride month#trans allegory..... or not even allegory. just trans .... ^_^#i technically cannot come out yet but i don't think the people who i need to not see this stalk my tumblr#i know they stalk everything else like my twitter and my instagram but this might be safe#so fuck it we yap. this is a comic about picking your battles#this is a comic about how for almost a year now everyone at home in singapore has been crying about my sore throat#my terrible fucked up voice. my you know. etc#i came out as not cis and using they/them pronouns in 2015 when i was 14#but no one ever used my pronouns. none of my classmates or friends even up until i left for college in 2020#from 2020 onwards every year i wrote an angry vulnreable essay about how much it hurts that they dont remember#and people would dm me apologizing on their hands and knees and commending my bravery#and then forget about it all over again. id ont mean 'they misgender me and then catch it and apologize and correct themselves'#i mean they dont even get that far#and so you might ask yourself: why have you kept them around all this time?#and i would have to explain that by pure bad luck i grew up in the most conservative close minded community#that all of my ex classmates that stayed in singapore are cishet and upper middle class and chinese singaporean#that i Am the trans person. that they were able to ignore me for a decade partially because there was no one else#so this is a comic about how there is dignity and grace in staying in the closet sometimes#about how not everyone deserves to see you at your happiest. about how some people can go fuck themselves#you know your truth and THATS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS!!! YEAH!!! i love you
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Prompt 297
“I feel like we should be concerned about Tim.”
“Honestly we should always be concerned about him, but what made you realize it this time?”
“Have you seen his search history- wait no you haven’t you haven’t been in the cave all day, look at this-”
“...'Is it legal to adopt the ghost of a kid? Can someone call CPS on a family’s ghost? How to take care of ghosts 101? How do you get a ghost of a child to not be scared? What to do if you find ghost children in your home? What the fuck…?”
“Exactly, I think he needs an intervention.”
Or in other words, after getting thrown into another dimension thanks to the GIW destroying most of Amity, a trio of ghost children decide to crash in this seemingly abandoned apartment building. No one seems to live here anyway… Tim Drake on the other hand, gets a notification that there’s someone in his main safehouse that he might’ve slightly forgotten about thanks to having his house-boat now, and sees a trio of starved looking ghost kids
#DCxDP#DPxDC#Prompts#De aged Danny#De aged Jazz#De aged Dan#Not seen is Ellie also there but in Core form because she’s too unstable to form a body again yet#Tim’s family is concerned for his sanity#Tim calling his co-dependent hero friends like Kon & Bart: How do you get a child- wait no not like that#Bernard is laughing at him on the phone & asking for pics#The ghost kids have no clue they’ve been adopted yet#They’re hella traumatized & just relieved to have found shelter#Might cry in the very comfortable blankets#Tim: Okay how the fuck do I help these literal dead kids without scaring them away#Tim: Someone call Greta I need her help-
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This one goes out to all the Finchpaw fans out there
#clangen#clan generator#warriors oc#warrior cats#sporeclan#i dont know why she had so many prompts this moon. but good for her#SHES FINALLY OUT OF THE HEALERS DEN!!!! WOOOOOOOO LETS GOOOOOO#and minklake with the ten thousand kittens trying to get their attention. crying my eyes out. i love them#by the way before anyone asks. the connection to starclan is still fully severed for the average cat#crowstar can just get the rare occasional contact because she specifically has the strong connection to starclan trait#sc moons#sc:piperdapple#sc:finchpaw#sc:fennelacorn#sc:dawnpelt#sc:minklake#sc:greenkit#sc:strawkit#sc:lizardkit#sc:rosemarykit#sc:crowstar#sc:puddle#sc:cliffthicket#i hope the image quality is okay because i had to export it from my tablet#if its bad i might replace it later when i get to my pc again
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The walk home from UA
#i've been thinking about micnight a lot. somebody call an ambulance or a therapist or something#this might even drive me to read School Briefs again just for content of them interacting for once#this is why Vigilantes is better we get more interactions with the teacher trio#I realise I draw a ton of this concept but I do not care anymore#nobody can stop me drawing silly micnight stuff. Piggyback ride. Partners in crime. They are just one of the ever.#you know.#bnha#eraserhead bnha#shouta aizawa#eri chan#nemuri kayama#hizashi yamada#present mic#midmic#do NOT look at Aizawa's arms and do NOT try and understand the physics of Mic's legs#it's half 2 in the morning I was not about to spend any more time making it look actually good#drawing people from the side my arch nemesis#if someone made a VRChat avatar of Midnight in her little skirt suit outfit from Save the World With Love I would cry#it's so hard to find normal Midnight avatars
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#WE'RE TRYING IT AGAIN#no typos this time and notifications off from the jump#original tags:#I might actually cry. what do you mean I canonically get to be a mortalitasi and it's not something I just have to RP in my head#but also A CROW??? being a crow feels like an unattainable childhood dream that apparently is now very real#watch my boring ass be a grey warden again though 😭in war - victory. in peace - vigilance. in death - sacrifice. 🫡 and alla that#BUT THEN... downtrodden and cynical yet ever hopeful whirlwind shadow dragon romance with neve....#da4#poll#da:v#dav#dragon age: the veilguard#how tf do you tag spoilers for this game#da4 spoilers#there you go#dragon age
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hello old friend
#okay im off to go cry in the shower#i might colour this later if i can ever look at it again without exploding#theres other 1911 javier stuff on the way i just draw so slowly ;-;#rdr#rdr1#red dead redemption#javier escuella#john marston#my stuff
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So I've already seen this one pointed out, but in the new CG, Boothill's older human form doesn't really match what people thought it should. Of course it could just be neglect on Hoyo's part like I've seen speculated, but personally? With the other lore we got from this patch, combined with some of the stuff we already had, I'd love to think there is a possibility that is way, WAY more fun.
(fun for me and all the other whump enjoyers, anyway, RIP Boothill fjkasjkdj)
In Boothill's lc, we see him in the middle of his surgery where he threw away his flesh and bone body for steel and cybernetics. We know it was The Big Surgery and not just like some sort of tune up or modification because of the description attached to the lc:
Which is where a lot of the dissonance comes in, because in this lc, Boothill's hair is much, much longer than in the cg.
And as someone who also has super long hair, I can tell you that it would take like. Multiple years to grow it out to this length.
There's also the fact that these cybernetic arms don't even match, the lc is the one that looks like our Boothill does now. And there's no reason for Boothill's shirt to be ripped up and in tatters like that; it even states he takes off his clothes before the lc surgery. If it were a matter of Hoyo needing to censor nudity, there were plenty of other methods they could have used that would make more sense, like a hospital gown, a blanket, surgical partition, etc
When will I get to see Boothill with all his scars, Hoyo, when, quit cockblocking me!!! OTL
But there was also another piece of new lore this patch that hit me like a fuckin' brick- the fact that Boothill was tortured by the IPC.
He just drops this out of nowhere! Just says it and then moves right along!! BABY, PLEASE. I WANNA KNOW MORE SO GODDAMN BAD.
But anyway as Hydrachea pointed out to me, this means the torture definitely had to happen before the lc surgery, because being whipped with a belt soaked in saltwater (fucking OUCH) wouldn't work on someone with metal skin.
So, we know that the IPC did, at some point, capture Boothill. And this is reaching further back to previous patches, but we also know from the Luminary Wardance event in 2.5 that the IPC also dabbles in cybernetic arms, because of the one they foisted on Luka.
The model there is a new one they're debuting, but we see in a flashback sequence that the IPC has been part of the cybernetics game for at least 700-800 years, because they also manipulated Igor into getting one too, and this could have only happened before the Eternal Freeze on Jarilo-VI.
It's never stated just how old Boothill is, or how long ago the genocide on Aeragan-Epharshel took place.
But I doubt it was more than 700-800 years ago.
I really don't think Boothill is that old, or has been doing this for that long. So he definitely would have been captured at a point that the IPC was manufacturing cybernetic arms, and had a known history of amputating perfectly healthy patients to use them.
I wonder if all their test subjects were willing.
(This part is entirely unnecessary for the new cg showing Boothill being a forced lab rat as part of the IPC torturing him. But it is a fun, delightful, bloodily gruesome twist of the knife nonetheless.
Boothill was also betrayed by his own brothers-in-arms on Aeragan-Epharshel. For the IPC. Just saying.)
#honkai star rail#honkai star rail boothill#hsr boothill#hsr#boothill#hsr 2.6#honkai star rail 2.6#no idea if this is anything but god do I love to think about it#Boothill just casually dropping that he was TORTURED just about fucking killed me AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#screaming crying throwing up blowing up etc etc#KERBLEWIE#Ugh I love it so much#Hoyo did that for ME#And the thought that it might have been his own tribe that sold him out? ough. ough.#and so like. when he escaped the IPC somehow. do you think the cybernetic arm was still attached?#did he have to lug this thing around#did he hate looking at it#imagining him telling the doctor he doesn't even care just take it detach it get it off of him he never wants to see it again#AUGH
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#OH MY GOSHHHH#THEYRE ALL SMILING#WE SAW THEM AGAIN#OHHHHH WOWWWWWW#this is probably like. the first time we saw shinomori AND BRUCE smiling#no stress or anything just NORMAL SMILES HOLY CRAP#spoilers#bnha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#mha#ofa#one for all#kudo#bruce#en tayutai#yoichi shigaraki#nana shimura#banjo daigoro#hikage shinomori#all might#toshinori yagi#En. HAS A MOLE ON HIS CHEEK? WHY DID WE NEVER SEE THAT#BRUCE WAS ONLY EVER SEEN SMILING WHEN HE WAS CRYING AND ABOUT TO DIE SO LOOK AT THE DAMN CONTRAST HERE#YOICHI IS SO PRETTY HERE#BRUCE IS JUST A LITTLE GUY#AND SHINOMORI IS SO CUTE#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#my favorite picture oh my gosh (no way i just hit the tag limit)
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I don't think I ever published these so ig.....
There's a last one but err warning for gore and blood(mostly just ripping an arm off)
#I'm not okay#got so sad I started imagining angst scenarios with myself instead of some characters??#and also ended up writing a short thing of killer dying...#and drew a page of suffering with eyes filling up the empty space...#and cried for 2 nights straight which is a lot compared to how it took me 6 years to start crying again#anyways simply. I just want to cry again-#anyways idk how but I got some determination so there might actually be something of this one comic#even though I want to work on other things.. I'm just too tired(sad) for that#sans au#utmv#undertale au#kross ship#criller#kist#killer sans#dust sans#cross sans#horror sans#dust x killer#killer x dust#cross x killer#killer x cross#sanscest#UwU#cw blood#cw gore
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things that are Too Much: both times lancelot dies, the last face he sees is merlin's, and the last thing he does is smile.
#bbc merlin#merlin#lancelot#merlin x lancelot#mercelot#lancelot du lac#the darkest hour#4x02#4x09#parallels#text: merlin#my text#no i still haven't made it to 4x09 in my rewatch bc i don't know HOW i could possibly do that to myself again#especially when lancelot's death has been hitting me harder the last few weeks than it ever did in all the years since i first#watched the show#but i /have/ watched the ending funeral scene#and cried#a lot#i could cry just seeing gifs of that scene#heck at this point merely /thinking/ of it might be enough
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physically im here but mentally im in declan's kitchen looking into his vacant eyes as he drinks coffee just because matthew said the kitchen smells like coffee in the morning
#i knew matthew wasn't dead#but those chapters still made me cry#oh god#the way declan tried so hard to ignore it#but everytime his mind went into a spiral about how Matthew's dead hes dead hes never coming back hes dead#ykw i think j might re read it just to feel something again#trc#ronan lynch#the raven cycle#adam parrish#gansey#the dreamer trilogy#blue#henry cheng#maggie stiefvater#declan lynch#matthew lynch
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Can I ask about the « there is a lobster somewhere »? What happened??
Some teenage boys were seen removing a lobster from a tank. Then seen walking around with it. Then walking around without the lobster. Then leaving the property without the lobster
Possibilities included:
Put lobster back (not seen)
Put lobster in backpack (not seen)
Put lobster somewhere 'funny' (possible)
Sad lobster skittering around under a shelf somewhere
I was able to find the lobster in a different tank in the seafood department, and upon the owner's deliberation over whether the lobster was still safe for consumption or if it was now inedible and as such to be 'disposed of', offered to purchase it, if only to spare a living critter the potential indignity of being thrown into a trash compactor, alive OR dead, after all the trouble of being removed from the ocean in the first place.
I don't know what my plan was. I didn't have an aquarium and was not prepared for an immortal pet OR lobstercide, and like. Releasing it into the ocean didn't seem environmentally sound, either.
In the end, it was determined that it was likely still fit for human consumption and moved to a quarantine tank.
Not sure how I feel about that. I grew admittedly a bit too attached a bit too fast
#I actually started crying when they said they might have to toss it#You can't just put a CREATURE in the GARBAGE#AND IT DIDNT EVEN DO ANYTHING WRONG#I can handle death for consumption but for no reason???#Okay I'm crying again#Fuck
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MHA didn't create some miracle way of helping others. It was never promised to be this way. And when it came to villains...
Spoilers for manga all the way to chapter 423.
The only way to get anything in life in MHA was to be born "normal" like everyone else and that way of thinking never left Izuku with Toga getting the same treatment she did before from everyone from her family to her "normal" classmates. It was Ochako who helped Toga even if just a little by lifting the weight of all the feelings that Toga had.
She couldn't save Toga the way one could save a civilian by saving them from harm. If it worked that way Dabi would've saved Toga even before Ochako could apologize for failing to notice Toga. She was so lazer focused on saving everyone else, that she was just another villain to stop, not a human.
Even if by the end of it Ochako helped Toga to deal with her grief, acceptance as it was wasn't something possible when a quirk makes you want to drink someone's blood from jealousy.
We got a bittersweet ending with Toga, in which she probably died from blood loss just like her double did in MVA. If it wasn't for Twice she would've died back then.
Giving away her blood for Ochako wasn't a redemption or a way to save Toga in the end, more as it was her being true to herself until the very end.
Just like Twice chose to stay with the League even if Hawks offered him a way to survive that battle. He refused and died protecting his friends who accepted him instead of choosing to betray them and accept Hawks' offer.
After Twice's death... It was a matter of time that more 'active' LoV members would join him as well. As sad as it is, we now can return to Izuku.
Who, after his time OFA-AFO quirk space, now wanted to help a "crying boy" he saw in Tenko just as before with Katsuki in chapter 1. He didn't forgive Tomura and didn't excuse the way he chose to solve his problems.
It didn't mean that Tomura would survive in their battle, even if Izuku didn't see killing others as a way to solve problems. He didn't understand Tomura, but he still wanted to try, and try he did.
The rest of this post was nothing more than a contextual prologue to understand that it's not the first time a hero failed to save a villain and in Twice's case we know that he died and his death was the reason Toga started thinking about her own possible death and Dabi finally revealed himself as Toya.
The goal of saving a "crying boy" never was an end-goal for Izuku in the Final arc, since helping Tomura deal with his feelings just left him hollow with a goal that clashed with Izuku's. As being a hero for villains meant destroying the world for them to help them live freely.
But that was before AFO resurfaced.
Sadly after that Tomura who was talking about making his own choices for a while now stopped doing that. Even if he still had a goal of helping villains and only villains, Tomura was almost gone. And his goals were now unreachable.
Izuku helped Nana who in turn kept Tomura from fading away entirely. In MHA there were countless situations where Izuku's help affected people by helping a different person to keep hope, All-Might being the first one and Nana being the last one at the moment.
Hollow after Izuku helped him to get rid of his hatred Tomura could do the only thing he did - accept the situation as it was.
Accepting AFO as his Sensei, accepting Stain's ideals and Overhaul's deal was the way he solved his problems. Just like Izuku had a problem of understanding something outside of his norm, Tomura was accepting too many things, which lead to his downfall after accepting AFO's quirk.
Just like Twice could've given up everything that he had for his friends so did Tomura.
With Izuku helping as much as he could let Tomura to finally rest as he wasn't really living ever since waking up in the hospital. With his body now affected by AFO's wishes instead of his own until the end.
In a way Izuku didn't succeed in his wish for Tomura to stop ever since PLF war arc. As he "kept fighting to destroy" no matter how hard Izuku tried to stop him.
The only thing he succeeded in was changing Tomura's mind about himself, instead of viewing himself as a monster he accepted that he was a human just like Izuku said. A "crying boy" who couldn't really destroy Izuku's hands in the end.
For a group of Villains who weren't supposed to get profiles of their own at the start of the series, League is slowly fading as the most memorable group that there was in MHA, getting backstories, their own Villain themed arc all the while being as human as anyone else.
As sad as their story is they were not "unlucky", they didn't need a happy false ending where they would need to change to be normal - they chose to live this way and they lived it to it's fullest.
#bnha#bnha manga spoilers#bnha analysis#league of villains#shigaraki tomura#tenko shimura#toga himiko#mha twice#midoriya izuku#ochako uraraka#todoroki touya#dabi#spinner#shuichi iguchi#not art#While writing this I've been rewriting it time and time again#But by the end of it I just started crying because god... I didn't want them to end like this#Also I finally found the tracks that connect to the scene of Twice's death#Which may or may not have been a reason I started crying#Anyway the reason I wrote this was as simple as that - I read Twitter got sad and needed some way to cope#Because I'm getting sick from all 'oh they'll survive' yes HEROES might survive all of this VILLAINS would not#Magne died Twice died wnd Kurogiri literally became a cloud in the sky#I do hope that Spinner would be at least alive because leaving Mr. Compress alone with no sushi too is just too cruel#While writing this I suddenly found myself so frustrated with Izuku that my last tries to write this ended in a trashcan instead#it's so fucked up#To be a LoV stan and see how Class 1-A is getting the best ending they can with so much hope while LoV is... Dead :(#this is a mess
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at the end of the day it's a relationship that inspired me to create again, to making edits and icons and even writing
it's the relationship that helped me get through some really hard times in my life
its the relationship I met really amazing people through who I now have the joy of calling my friends
#tbd#im crying yes I know but ive been so depressed#my life has been shit the last two months and this was my escape#like I know eventually this wont hurt as much and its just this week#and that ive made friendships that outlast a fandom#but Im still going to be sad#not to mention its like????#people have been harassed and sent death threats and was accused of faking cancer and we went through it together#idk this is rambling im just very very sad#ill find something new again I know but its just a lot right now#anyways I might take a break if you want to share discords if we are friends message me#911 spoilers
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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