#i mean ofc i said yes but still
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Okay, I think I can finally share this now.
In my version of "Moriah" Chuck orders Jack to kill Castiel with the promise of bringing things back to how they were before all the mess they're in now, Mary included. Jack starts panicking and crying and is clearly being played but he's in no state to rationalize things so he starts blurting out all kinds of stuff and eventually resolves to actually do it. Sam and Dean are forced to watch by Chuck and are totally incapacitated just like us, hypothetical viewers, are made to watch Jack's tragedy as it unfolds.
But Castiel is okay with that and actually plans to do the deed himself in order to avoid at least this one pain in Jack's life so he comes close to Jack and holds his face in one hand while the other is ready for the blade. He needs to tell him one last thing before the end. They're both crying but somehow Cas find the courage to recite a different type of blessing over the children, one that of course doesn't involve God and it goes something like this:
Jack, don't cry. It's okay, it's okay.
I need to tell you something, Jack and I need you to listen carefully, okay? Okay, good.
Being elected as your father has been the greatest joy and honor of my life. Hey, it's okay, shhh, it's okay, listen to me.
It was a joy so great that I got scared, Jack. I'm sorry Jack but I got so scared. I didn't know it then but it was this gnawing fear of losing it all, of losing you, that made me make... many mistakes. It was this fear that prevented me from understanding who you really are, from seeing the truth. So here it is.
Jack, you were, are and always will be such a luminous, beautiful and important presence in this world. Ah, as a matter of fact, in any world. Because you're... you. And you are... amazing.
No, no, no listen to me now, please, shhh, it's okay: You have to know that whatever happens in your life, I will be there for you. No matter what, I will be by your side. If things will go wrong, I'll be there to give you my energy. If things will go right, I'll also be there to give you even more energy.
You must never forget that you're loved, Jack. Oh, look at you: my son...my son... I love you. So much.
Cas, in an instant, is ready with his angel blade but it's in this moment that the Shadow erupts into the world to take Castiel away: no reasoning, no strategic plan, nothing. The moment of happiness is the moment of unconditional love.
Chuck's frantic because this "unconditional love" thing wasn't in his script and yells that it was not supposed to happen this way, that he gave them the possibility to access everything they ever wanted, the price was just one self-loathing, doomed-anyway angel but it still wasn't enough for them, was it?
It's also the moment where Sam, briefly freed from Chuck's powers, gets his lucidity back and decides to pull the trigger on Chuck (and himself). In the background, Jack's screaming and crying so much that the mere force of his screams is enough to resurrect the whole cemetery but Cas is not coming back to him.
Chuck is wounded by Sam (who's also hurting in return) and is forced to flee. Dean is also wounded beyond repair and is like turned to stone and almost can't breathe because he's living, again, one of the worst moments of his life as we go back to a distorted, more messed-up version of s12 finale and to the beginning of Jack's tragic story.
Jack is spiralling and he's out of control and out of himself as he starts opening woundsrifts after rifts through dimensions and worlds looking for Chuck, looking for the Empty, looking for whatever comes first at this point because he's moved by the dangerous, unpredictable and explosive bomb that is revenge spurred by love. Until Billie finds him.
#this version of the blessing over children is NOT mine. It's a loose translation + I've added some parts#but I think it's just soooooooo incredible and I wish all parents said these words to their children and mean them#tbh this is a tiny but reeeeally important part in one of my stories but. like. in my story it's not so connected to doom#so it's more hopeful but. like. as far as s14 and drama and conflict and storytelling for profit go#it think this would build more climax in Jack's story than...whatever we saw on screen. this is. ofc. just my opinion#anyway#i've finally shared this here.#like in my mind in s14 jack and cas develop a more solid relationship and in “Byzantium” Cas sacrifices himself for Jack yes but also#to keep his promise to Kelly. This is. ofc. back when Cas still has to understand the real meaning of unconditional love#so it's very importat to me. personally. that the deal with the empty finishes as it started: with Jack#no shade to the destiel of it all but#it's just very important to me to change the script on unconditional love and start where it all beings: parents and children#jack kline#castiel#jack the puer#chuck shurley#supernatural#spn#sam winchester#dean winchester#myths we live by#spn s14#moriah
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so no one was going to tell me if i got literally one episode further tenax drops that he’s the one who saved scorpus from his mom’s pimp AND that he’s intimately familiar with scorpus’ dick when he was younger. guys. guys.
#thinking about an INSANE divorce fic. as a follow-up to the 30k canon-compliant backstory i have not written#(really it could be an au of that because like. am i sentimental and would i want them to get emotionally divorced NO but i will get into#the variants of this later i have to tell you about them ACTUALLY divorced first before i get into the hot divorcee energy of it all)#where they fucked around when they were younger and then broke up because. yeah tenax can dream but scorpus needs certainty he is what he#is he wants attention and dignity and when blue offers for him he goes and we don’t need to know what the massive fight was but we DO need#to know that they stopped fucking and maybe they stopped talking too but now they’re Colleagues. putting the ‘because i can’ moment#into a WHOLE different light bc it’s very much a ‘you no longer have a say in who I get to fuck because it’s not YOU. because we’re not’#and thus we get an exes-to-lovers arc I still know you the best and yes I SEE the scorpus xenon andria potential & once again I am saying:#put that in a box we can’t talk about that right now I see it but that’s not what we’re here for. anyway I was TRYING to say the ‘I know u#best of anyone’ of it all and if you think I have stopped thinking about tenax goading scorpus & talking about his dick for a single second#I have not. I REALLY have not because that is top tier blatant manipulation to be like ohhhh poor baby you’re so old and rotting I can just#get a new chariot driver I don’t even really want you anyway 😇 and scorpus KNOWS It’s bait however. he’s gotta get his attention back.#anyway they are ugly divorced and it’s very slow burn but I know exactly how you taste & what buttons to press & how to grip your shoulders#in an argument until they fuck nasty on all of their riches or however this thing ends. not well for anyone but I WILL be getting them back#together. the other fun little big divorced energy thoughts i had were very much ‘divorced and arguing but it’s foreplay to threaten to#leave each other’ so they can have hot aggressive mean sex because they get off on arguing with each other. everybody in the stables starts#to see them arguing about chariot design & the brothers are scared they’re gonna kill each other & then suddenly scorpus is tongue-fucking#Tenax’s throat with a fist still in his hair and tenax has a hand pinning him back against the post by the throat and that’s all they see#before everybody clears the FUCK out. this is a regular occurrence at all times in all arguments it’s so fun I love the dynamic#OHHHH AND IT’S AN OUTSIDER POV FIC i said the brothers really i meant elia but also now that i say that. could be a fun five + 1 of#everyone watching them threaten to kill each other and then y’know. la petit mort. ALSO i know i see the calla/tenax too we can’t talk abt#that put it in the box with the chariot drivers we can have one (1) thing at a time. the calla note is because i want a calla pov of them#where she’s just like ‘freaks. right in front of my salad?’ and does not give a fuck at all. top tier. anyway. andria/elia/calla/domitian#(Domitian seeing them petition him would be so fun because he wants to puppet master everything he’d want to know SO BAD.) the 5th one idk#because I don’t have any idea about the third brother yet but maybe Tenax catching scorpus in a brothel again? and the +1 is their POV ofc.#(anyway for myself: the vibes i want here are geno/anna cat and mouse follow/unfollow divorce and win her back rumors)#scorpus/tenax#those about to die#scorpus#tenax
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Welcome to the sloppy drinking olympics!
#Dashing Youth#Hou Minghao#He Yu#episode 4#I cannot unsee the bts clip of HMH dumping a load of water on himself bc he drank too sloppily#DY is bromancier than TBOY? I mean the way SCF looked at BDJ when he said that he is his friend now#TBOY dragged me in way faster though still gotta get into DY#like by the end of ep 4 the tboy crew had already snarked and tomfooled themselves into my heart#well DY lacks a certain guy named grey bangs so ofc#excuse my bad quality screenshots#also if I hadn't checked the cast list I wouldn't have recognized Shen Li's silly fiance as Ye Dingzhi - the styling is so different
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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nah but like
they're "seiros lapdogs" because they're fighting back against the people who attacked them completely unprovoked??? also because it so happens that thales is at garreg mach so they have to go there to reclaim the area to defeat him???
i just hate this because it's just perpetuating things about faerghus and its people that just aren't true. it frames it like they jumped into the war willingly for the church and that they're only here for the church. like nah buddy, it's not faerghus' fault you're out here fighting to protect thales and ludwig.
it also is batshit to me how he and leopold are fighting to stop faerghus from advancing but like... they know what's happening to the empire and that edelgard isn't even calling the shots anymore, yet they still stupidly fight for the very person who is literally razing their country and burning their villages. they know the empire is in shambles and that the kingdom isn't targeting them and is specifically aiming for gm to get it back from who? thales; who, mind, at this point is in his real form and not posing as arundel anymore. everything is laid out plainly, but they still act like faerghus is the bad guy.
but yeah, okay. faerghus BaD for defending themselves, fighting back, finding out who is behind all the puppeteering and heading to take him out. sure, that makes them seiros lapdogs. like what are you, an agarthan mouthpiece??? may as well be like yeah you go retreat and leave you agarthan lapdog. if they don't realize it's Someone Else in charge of course, then ludwig lapdog works fine too.
and it sucks because other than this shit, i like waldemar just fine as a character. it's just like, it feels like they forced someone to have to stick in that final faerghus BaD insult before the grand finale so they just randomly picked someone to remind us that faerghus is Always Wrong as long as they continue to fight back and prevent being attacked in the future.
waldemar here is just basically ag caspar. fighting and risking his life for thales, who is destroying the empire and basically holding the emperor hostage. if the writing here had any decent plot points, they would've all stopped and have been like hey wait, shouldn't we be fighting to get our emperor back? why are we stopping these guys from killing the people who are destroying this country?
and like, they literally went from siding with ludwig during the insurrection to siding with edelgard in this timeline to... jumping immediately back to ludwig as soon as he was at the top of the food chain (thales notwithstanding). as soon as the person in charge changes, they jump ship immediately; then of course get mad that the people they attacked are coming after them... and fighting them as they defend the very people who are letting adrestia become a literal, physical ruin.
it really just tells me that these people don't care about adrestia itself, but status, power and wealth. they don't care about the country itself as long as they're doing well. that's like, the only thing i can get from still fighting with/for ludwig/thales. the fact that they just fight for ludwig again as soon as edelgard is out of commission is also pretty gross to me. they have no loyalty at all.
and it's like, i want to like waldermar and leopold, but they come across as just selfish, entitled and only there for their own asses to be covered. and i get that - that is a realistic take on politicians, but the fact that the game regularly loops back around to faerghus BaD despite that and despite portraying these people as opportunistically selfish is like... what are they even trying to write??
#DCB Three Hopes Run#ah yes. the hours i wait for to post this stuff.#it's like whenever i finally find an adrestian character i like they have them spew some bs like this#or in ferdie's case i loved him and hopes made him another edelgard simp instead of like#the one person around her who contested her views and BLATANTLY OUTRIGHT told her "you're wrong''#but ofc yes edelgardwash him bc that's too extreme in a fodlan game#and in this case with waldemar it's not EVEN edelgard. it's just ''faerghus evil for trying to retake gm''#''we attacked gm and won so it's OURS now the ppl who lived there first don't matter anymore''#''what do you mean it's being held by a threat to all of us? no such thing only you are a threat''#literally like they either killed off the adrestians offscreen or made them stupid as fuck just to have you#fight named characters. like if leopold KNOWS all of this then why is he STILL fighting and acting like it's for adrestia#when his actions in that moment were actively HARMING adrestia?#but yet somehow it like I said loops back to faerghus bad... but yet the writing in general#does portray faerghus as doing the right thing... and then has other characters insist they're bad#and so much so like they're purposely shoving it in your face TO believe it#it's like saying someone helped save a village from destruction and protected all the children in a safe shelter#but a bunch of characters say those ppl are evil and it keeps pressing and pushing that statement OVER and over#like rly what are you trying to write with this? i love ag but the last few chapters are just like#wow how dare you try to kill ludwig the one true future of adrestia who is being puppeteered by thales. like. okay.
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Peter and Jay doodles feat. T.K. and Lucy (headcanons for what I think they'd look like as humans.. gonna change their designs though)
#Jay during his adjustment period of moving in with Peter would be super mean (unintentionally) but loving towards Rat ofc#by mean i mean he's more likely to insult Peter or isolate himself in his room and such#not cause he hates him no no no he's just mad he was knocked out and was locked up in the house#when they talked about it Jay just spoke about how he didn't feel like Peter trusted him all that much#cause he would've said yes to moving in and he wouldn't run off if he were allowed outside#the end of night 4 (?) where he'd end up tied in the basement happens around a week after being moved in#he'd be terrified until Peter spoke. he'd probably try to crawl towards him. to be comforted or something.#he'd hardly care for the knife. say he loves Peter. he'd be horrified to see Peter's cuts though#after it all he'd scold at Peter as he cleaned up his wounds. he'd call him stupid a bunch. he'd cry too probably#and after handling Peter with care he'd just wet his own wound and dab it with toilet paper. he wouldn't care if it were still bleeding#they'd sleep together after that like just lay in Jay's room cuddling#Jay waking up earlier than Peter to make waffles for him#stay tuned for when I make more doodles and give little fun facts about them and their relationship#until next time ig idk#my art#void#Jay#Jacob#Your boyfriend#your boyfriend peter#Yb game#your boyfriend game#Yb peter#peter dunbar
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Ugh this is a bit soppy but between Elden Ring and Dragon Age, it's nice to get Welsh accent rep bc I feel like it's just an accent you rarely get to hear (even in UK media tbh)
#like yea its normally softened and anglified but its still welsh#half my fam is welsh so im biased but i swear its such a melodic accent#yes even the north welsh ones xx#i know ive said “accent” but ofc i mean “accent(s)”#accents are one of my Things idk#being half welsh and a former theatre kid does that ig lol#gaming#accents#??#elden ring#dragon age#daft wee posts#soppy wee posts#wales#welsh#tbd#probably#she talks!
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🍓
#umm he couldnt even be bothered to react to my messages with emojis?!?!?#like he said that he isnt up for talking and i respect that#i asked him if it's still ok for me to message him and he said 'ofc'#so i did.... i had to push myself bc im feeling like he hates me and doesnt wanna hear from me#all of my disorders saying that haha#so i pushed myself to message him when i wanted to#but.... ok i didnt expect him to reply#but he read it and didnt even give me an emoji#im aware that i sound crazy#this is just how im FEELING#i feel stupid and ashamed for thinking he even wants to listen to me yap about nonsense#i hate myself for being so stupid and sending him pics and a video of the crow i saw#like shut up dumb bitch nobody cares!!!!!!!! shut up#no wonder he cant be in love with me#im pathetic and stupid#his ex that he actually loves is probably smart and witty and cool#and would never be such a fkn loser like i an#am*#god... genuinely hate myself#why dont i know how to shut up??#definitely wont be messaging him anymore now jesus christ im so embarrassing#im still hurt tho like couldnt he at least have reacted with an emoji#is that too much to ask for......#i mean listen in any relationship#where u have disorders.. communication and BOTH ppl making an effort is needed#the only way our 'friendship' is even working is bc im just allowing him to do whatever#and im just dealing with the emotional suffering lol#he doesnt even make an effort to reassure me or anything#so yes i cant force him or ask anything of him. but i FEEL hurt by how im not worthy of anything to him#while im over here allowing him to hurt me constantly sksksk
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u know what, maybe Jiang Cheng sacrificed himself for wwx, maybe he didn't deserve everything that happened to him, maybe it's unfair that he ends up alone with no family except a baby nephew and got a whole clan to rebuilt. bu you know what was his mistake? be a little bitch about it
#there I said it#and by being a little bitch I mean complaining and having a bad attitude and not being open minded or trying to see the big picture#and yes I know he did what he did to protect his clan bc if he didn't go the same way than the other clans he would've been ostracized etc#but. still. idk like#like ofc he's part right as much as wwx is part wrong but the way he jumped to conclusions..#also he let wen qing die without doing anything.#anyway I'm arguing alone#I'm just thinking and reacting to some posts have seen around#and to be frank that's why I love his character it's bc he's nuanced#and I both love and hate him#anyway ✌️#Jiang Cheng#the untamed#mdzs
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eeep!! i had so many positive interactions/compliments at work today!! ໒꒰ྀི ´͈ ᗨ `͈ ꒱ྀིა a rlly nice woman came thru to pick up her books at the window & she said "thank you for all you guys do!" ꒰♡˃̶̤́ ꒳ ˂̶̤̀ ꒱ made my heart all soft & warm & fuzzy!! <33 i got myself a lil dinner & now it's time to unwind (ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ.ﾟi hope everyone had a v special weds!!
#it was soooo busy (it has been a lot lately sobs) but despite bein down 1 person we managed to get everyth done!! wooo!!#only one person was mean to me on the phone 2day & it was a MAN (the audacity!!) but it was smth small so its whatevs!!#& the guy at tjmaxx was askin me ab my wallpaper on my phone on the tble (bllk related ofc) & he asked if it was ab soccer & if i liked it!#i was like 'omg yes its the bane of my existence as of rn i even commissioned art w one of the characters!!' & he said he'd check it out! :#lil stuff like this reminds me that there are def still some good people in this wild world <3 anywho i'm forever kissin your cheeks!! mwah#sigh i'm kickin myself for not poppin by mailboxes today bc i was whacko busy but I PINKY PROMISE I WILL TMRW AT SOME POINT!! ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১#ᕱ⑅ᕱ.* journals!
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forgot to mention but my therapist is literally encouraging me to get adhd testing :') she really did believe me and still does, and i'm not just losing it i (almost definitely) have A Disorder holy fuck
#i still cant afford it so im still not getting diagnosed unfortunately#but it means so fucking much that she took me seriously for that and AGREES#like thank fucking god im not the only one who sees smth wrong here this really ISNT me just being exceptionally lazy and stupid!!#and i was RIGHT i guessed the right condition thats not a huge deal here ofc but its fun to know#levi.txt#like. shes not a specialist but she does work w adhd clients and she said youre right you almost def have it you should get tested#and get accommodations for school or medication if you can(!!!!!!!!!!)#i just bjfdkjhkfhkdf. yes please god thank you#i never even considered accommodations holy shit that would make my life so much easier#id never thought abt it bc ive always gotten good grades anyways. my anxiety/rsd outweigh the executive dysfunction#but jesus it would help me so much to just have a bit of grace on deadlines or smth thatd be a dream
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i can tell you guys aren’t as fond of the entertainment industry which is a shame bc idol! childe, model! kaeya and club owner! diluc are very tasty :(
#┊glimpse into the crystal ball ೃ༄#engagement for the au has plummeted after i moved away from the piercing studio#which sucks ofc bc i still put in just as much effort#but i can’t tell people what to read#i can however tell people to not comment ‘part two?’ and nothing else under someone’s work#yes i know it implies that the person liked it but—#i’m not a content machine#i’m a human being who thrives off of validation and compliments#also i’ve said multiple times i’ll write second parts#the end heavily implies there will be a second part#it’s called a modern au *series*#so if you can avoid it don’t just drop a ‘part two?’ in my or somebody else’s comment section/ ask box#or at least show them some appreciation for the first part if you want to ask about it#‘this was good’ doesn’t really scratch that itch yk?#it’s free content your scrolling through but writers still put a lot of effort into that#just keep that in mind yeah? :)#this isn’t aimed at one person in particular but since it happened a lot especially with the series i just thought i had to say sth#i know people probably don’t mean any harm with that#everyone’s just used to consuming media at a rapid pace#so it’s just supposed to be a little reminder that there are actual people working in their own free time to provide content#even if we’re a blog without a face attached to others on here#cw rant
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whenever i'm with large groups of people i have at least one moment of Oh God. People Think I'm Either A Man Or A Woman. it's like getting shocked every time lmao party meme but it's they don't know i'm nonbinary
#he looked scared! like i might think badly of him or treat him differently!#i have many gay friends!#i did? kind of come out? to my coworker?#but i mean she already knew i'm gay lmao it's so obvious when you assume i'm a man that i'm not straight 😭😭#i did have to make a split second decision to say either bi or gay and i said gay 😭 i do use both interchangeably personally#bc i use gay as like an umbrella term for not straight#but i know people tend to think of only homosexual and heterosexual lol bisexual people don't exist <3#but really i didn't feel like doing a lesson on what bisexuality is if it was needed so 😭😭#my coworker was cool with it i was like i mean you probably know already but i'm gay lol and she said yeah i knew but it's your business#but um she was kinda outing our ex coworker? and i know she told me bc i'm obviously gay myself but.......#it's not cool to tell me when he only mentioned his bf to her and she said he looked scared that she might judge him.... like it's not cool#to tell period but especially since it was clearly said bc he trust *her* with the info#if they're openly out and the person already knows well ofc whatever you can talk about it but it wasn't like that so#but the thing IS....... that i only really realised she was outing him afterwards? my bad truly. i was uncomfortable in the moment#but for some reason it didn't click why til later#bc like at first i thought it was bc she said something like 😭😭 girl. how should he know you'd be cool with it. we live in This Society.#so i was uncomfy like uhhh. and i said well i mean you probably know already but i'm gay too and even if there's a p high chance that peopl#will be okay with it in this day & age (i didn't say but. bit different for trans ppl. i'm not out as trans) we can never know#so it makes sense to be scared to say it!#and she was like yes! but i am okay with it and he looked so scared! i truly know so many and i love them even more than others!#😭😭😭😭😭 she means well but seriously HOW SHOULD HE KNOW ALL THAT 😭😭😭😭 it doesn't work like that girl.....#i mean ? *i* never told her i'm gay 😭😭 and i've known her for 2 years and a half almost. this guy worked with us for like a few months#anyway i wish i was quicker to realise bc i would've told her out on it like...... really not your thing to tell other people 😵💫😵💫#still. i am glad i said it. even when it's obvious and wouldn't need telling#it's NOT easy to like. know that everyone knows. not for me at least. especially with the added layer of being trans (AND nonbinary)#bc i don't think ppl i haven't told know that. i think cis ppl are quite bad at like.. knowing transmasc ppl exist lol#so i go by he/him only in italian (no other options lol) and i'm. not really completely masc and don't “pass” super well but when#i present myself as nico and talk abt myself w masculine words ppl just either ignore that and go she! :) or think alright. (cis) gay man#and at work it's the latter after i've worked there for over 2 years. like i'm not out as trans so ppl draw those conclusions#i don't think it'd shock ppl if i said i'm trans but simply put cis ppl at least cis italian ppl dont know shit abt trans men and transmasc
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hmm.
reader need 2 “anonymously” send this 2 ellie wha the fuk~
CRYBABY! - (E.W) MASTERLIST, COMPLETED!
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ edit
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ seattle revival
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ you’ve had a seriously bad day, and now you’re stuck with the shittiest person you’ve ever met while you wait for your friends to get home. (fluff) pt1
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ once again, you’re left alone with the crude (turned kind?) ellie fucking williams. (smut) pt2
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ she’s the same ellie she’s always been. (angst) pt3
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ the paparazzi are everywhere, all snapping shots of you as you rush into the band’s car. (angst) pt4
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ who the fuck is abby? (angst) pt5
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ you’ve had enough at this point. (angst) (fluff) (hurt) pt6
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ forget how to feel. (angst) (smut) (hurt) pt7
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ you weren’t you anymore. (angst) (fluff) (ending) pt8
#ain’t shi funny#that druski audio ‘im not laughing’#dina n’ jesse r TERRIBLE frens ion care#know full n’ well girl is a d!ckhead n’ still kicking it wit her like shi is sweet#like u mean 2 tell me u managed 2 stop hanging with around the both of them cuz of the constant bickering fighting#buh not enough 2 fkn stand on business n’ rightfully check her 4 making YOUR FREN life a living nightmare??#so fkn lame#whatevr tf ellie got goin on doesn’t absolve her from being an asshole!!#modern!ellie williams#ellie williams fic#ye i did think wha abby said was harsh���like choice of words#cuz reader need a reality check#should’ve said whatevr is keeping them there OBVIOUSLY ain’t worth it#u made urself 2 stay around these ppl#4 wha??#2 prove 2 those fkn LEWSORS that you’re not a ‘crybaby’??!#n usually i b so happy when reader#y/n bops a bch in their face buh this..a restraining order @ this point tf#NASTY work 2 witness such bundles of kindness turn into dumps of garbage#writing was good tho ofc cuz that’s exactly I kept reading😙#like uh uh i couldn’t b reader fren n’ watch them literally turn into ellie n’ not make ellie’s life hell#gumb○ll machine
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#I know life is hard and we shouldn't take it personally and we should never expect people to coddle us and blah blah#but really I would like to just survive one day without someone being mean to me#I don't even need a day of people being nice#truly I would just take one completely mundane day where I didn't get cursed out or yelled at or spoken down to#and yes I'm well aware this is partially my fault because one person in particular I surround myself with is trash#but it's not just him#my sister cursed me out and accused me of insulting her because I said I didn't agree with her on something#I didn't even say she was wrong I legit told her her feelings were valid and that it was just hard for me to see it from the same#perspective#and when she got upset i took it all back and said I was wrong and apologized and still she berated me over messenger until I cried because#I didn't know what else to say#and even though I'm sick#I got up and cooked dinner for my family and I cleaned up the whole mess and put it all away but I didn't do the dishes because I was#struggling and had to lay back down#and my mom came out and did not say thanks for dinner or thanks for cleaning up or anything of the sort#she came out rolled her eyes scoffed gestured to the dishes in the sink and said you have a mess here#and then proceeded to complain about how I didn't do the dishes#and that's stupid to let that bother me but I swear it's an every day thing and like I was so proud of myself for getting up and cooking an#cleaning up my mess because I was struggling to get out of bed at all#and still all she can bring up is the negative and no matter what i do it's always like that never a positive note#and for the record my mom lives with me for free taking over my son's bedroom it's not like i left dishes in her house it's my dishes in my#house#and ofc my son's father found a way to yell at me but i don't even count that anymore#and i'm just emotionally drained#and it feels like lately it's just an every day thing and i'm so fucking tired#I can't remember the last time someone said anything kind to me at all and that's not an exaggeration#no one ever says i love you or i'm proud of you or thanks for doing that or this helps alot or you got this or you're good at this#and I just wish someone could see something good in me for once
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