#i’m a human being who thrives off of validation and compliments

[the-travelling-witch]

i can tell you guys aren’t as fond of the entertainment industry which is a shame bc idol! childe, model! kaeya and club owner! diluc are very tasty :(

[lvlyhao]

『wayv’s ideal type』

headcanons, WayV

A/N: i love yangyang. send tweet.

today’s theme is... um... none. no braincells for an aesthetic

ALL OF MY WORKS ARE GENDER NEUTRAL AAAA

𝓖𝓮𝓷𝓻𝓮𝓼: fluff (♡)...?

𝓦𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼: i think like 2 swear words and as usual, my tough love for the neos. don’t be offended.

word count: 1.6K

pairing: wayv members x reader (includes kun, ten, winwin, lucas, hendery, xiaojun, yangyang)

disclaimer: the characters in the story below do not reflect real people or present real facts. this is purely fictional, and you may not copy, change, translate or repost my work in any way. all rights reserved © cherry-hyejin 2021.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

Kun

Kun, similarly to Taeil, would most likely fall for someone very mature and responsible. My dude is already the father of 7 children (I'm counting Chenle); the last thing he needs is one more. 

Very closely related to that is what I think would be another of his priorities: whoever they are and however they are, they've got to get along with the rest of WayV—but it's even better if NCT as a whole likes them. As much as he'd love his s/o, I can't say that if it ever came down to choosing them or his members, he'd pick his partner. The guys are his family and a BIG part of his work, which takes over most of his life, so there's really no escaping it. Befriend the boys or bye-bye.

Once the boys approve of his crush, I think his interest would grow if they've got many pastimes or hobbies. I mean, c'mon, Kun can fly a plane on the same day as he sings his lungs out on Inkigayo and then goes home to cook some fancy-ass dinner. He doesn't need them to be on his level, though. Small, silly passions are the ones the loves the most. He'd listen to them talk about ANYTHING for like 3 hours straight, even if it's why their favourite type of constrictors are pythons. No, that is totally not about me. Shut up.

Ten

Y'all remember that one WayV live where a fan asks for dating advice? Yes, I'm taking a lot from it. If you've seen it, it's not hard to come to the conclusion that Ten likes honest and straightforward people. He values himself way too much to lose his time with someone who's playing games, making him chase them and things of the sort. It's simple, really. If you like him, great, he'll give you the stars if you ask, but if not, great too, he'll live.

I can see that either he'd get with a person as extra as him or someone on Jaehyun's level of unbothered. Not many options here. You either become his partner in crime and bring hell on Earth with him, or you accept it well. Just don't be judgy or ask him to tone it down. That's the way he is, so why should he, you know?

Speaking of that, AUTHENTICITY, FOLKS. Being authentic is a big deal here. Ten is very true to himself and is always encouraging us to be, as well. Anyone he even considers dating will be nothing short of unique and unapologetically so. Being confident is just so attractive for him, I can't even—and yes, even if they're a bit strange. His partner might be a weirdo, but they're HIS weirdo, and he'll fight anyone that disagrees.

Winwin

I think while other members might fall for someone as bright as the Sun, he'd love a person as calming as the Moon. You know that aesthetic? The gentleness, introspectiveness, wisdom, the tranquillity... yeah, fam. That's it for my boy Winwin.

Allow me to elaborate: all of those traits would make him very comfortable with the thought of being in a relationship. I can see Sicheng as having some trust issues, aside from not being very touchy or loud when it comes to affection. Having that peaceful aura would really help him grow closer to his partner because he knows they'll be patient with him and respect his boundaries.

He wouldn't mind if they're more on the talkative side, but he needs a person that can appreciate silence too. Something I see a lot for him is having loud thoughts that are hard to get rid of. Dating him would mean having nights when he's tired out of his mind and just doesn't have the strength to talk. His partner will have to understand that and stay by his side until his inner world is a bit less chaotic, just holding his hand and letting him take his time. I think allowing him to have his space and peace in the relationship is how he feels loved the most. 

Lucas

Yukhei would not mind one bit having a more childish, carefree partner. He's a big baby, c'mon, being around another baby would probably make him the happiest. I also think he meant it when he said he doesn't care about age (that one V-Live from years ago). Younger than him, older than him, my boy doesn't give a fuck. He really just wants someone to be silly with and smile a lot.

Having said that, I really can't see anything pushing him away from getting to know someone. Lucas is very lighthearted and loves people, so I think he'd have his fun getting to know anyone—and tbh, he would be hooked if they're a bit mysterious too. His interest would probably get the best of him, and he wouldn't stop whining about it to the other boys until he learns something about them. Very random, yes, but I can 100% see him complaining to WayV during dinner, LMAO.

One thing he wouldn't enjoy too much? A partner that can't take compliments or doesn't like being spoiled. Yukhei's affection is LOUD, and he really thrives off praise, cute pet names and giving gifts. He'd most likely be heartbroken if he finds out they don't like any of it, almost like they're shutting down his love itself.

Xiaojun

Ah, my dear Dejun. The middle child of WayV. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, just look up "Xiaojun's middle child problems" on YouTube and go from there.  If you don't feel like it, lemme break it down to you: he's an angel, but the boys mostly accuse him of everything and anything and will throw him under the bus for fun. It's very entertaining. At this point, my boy doesn't have a fight or flight response; more like fight or fight (shhhh, I'll get into the headcanon now).

I think since he's used to being so defensive around his members, he'd appreciate a person that makes him feel both understood and safe. They'd share similar tastes (mint-choco ice cream, cough cough) and interests, but they'd most likely have a fiercer presence than him. Kind of intimidating, tbh. Very nice. I can definitely see that his partner wouldn't let WayV's chaos get to them and would, undoubtedly, be as much of a savage as the boys are.

He'd probably like it if they (playfully) fight his members and defend him from whatever-the-fuck they're blaming him for atm, so, yes, a bit protective. I think Dejun would simply find it cute and admirable, you know, their braveness. Would 10/10 brag about it when they're alone.

Hendery

Kunhang is the ultimate crackhead, but a sweet one at that. Being a Libra (yes, I'm going there), I think he can actually be very sentimental around the people he trusts the most and needs to feel like he belongs. That leads me to point 1: his partner would also be a crackhead. That's REALLY not up for debate. Kunhang wouldn't even think about dating someone that's not as much of a weirdo as he is. 

Point 2: he probably wouldn't like to be with a person that's too vain or superficial, whether that goes towards others or themselves. He's said before he hopes the fans can see him as more than a pretty face, and I can imagine that goes for his s/o too. He'd simply not feel connected to someone who's always dolled up or dressed to impress. Would definitely prefer a more casual style and personality.

I guess point 3 is kinda random, but it makes sense to me, so here we go. Kunhang would really like someone who's just in love with human nature. For him, it's the tiniest things: the way they laugh, how they drink their tea, which side of the bed they'd prefer... it all adds up to a person, and I think he'd feel over the Moon to be with someone who sees the same things as him. Comment on a small habit of his he thinks no one else would notice, and I swear he's yours.

Yangyang

He is a spoiled brat, and I say that with all the love in the world. We've all heard WayV say how he basically tries to exploit them (mainly Hyung-line) at every opportunity he gets, which makes me think Yangyang might be a bit lazy, yes, but also that he'd do great with someone whose love language is acts of service.

Now, I'm not saying he'd tyrannize them or anything of the sort, but things would work very well if that is how his partner expresses their love. They wouldn't mind fetching him a drink, cooking something—or ordering out, if they can't... you know, stuff like that. It would make him feel very validated and cared for. I see that, for him, that's the ultimate type of devotion.

The last thing I can imagine he'd consider is whether they can take his teasing and antics or not. Yangyang's affection is really not shown through super heartfelt, sugar-coated moments; quite the opposite, actually. If he feels happy around someone, his way of showing it is that playful banter, insults and teasing, you know? He really wouldn't know what to do if the person takes everything he says to heart, like—Yangyang.exe has stopped working. So, yeah. A thick skin and elastic heart are a great combo for my boy.

Bonus: he'd lowkey cry if they get super hyped with his work as an artist. PLEASE praise his dancing, rapping, visuals and all. I don't think many people do, and even if he denies it, the compliments make him all fuzzy inside. #appreciateyangyang2021, he's underrated af.

---

final notes: head empty, no thoughts, just 90′s love yangyang

[spnirwin]

Bisbee

Request: By blue-lion1: Can I request a story where Dean is friends with a shy and sensitive woman? She's seen ghosts since childhood and fears them. She's paranoid and some tell her she's just mentally ill. But she knows she saw and heard things and those people are wrong. Something she likes about Dean is his bravery. She keeps feeling like something is coming, and she doesn't want to be alone in the dark and has trouble sleeping. He sleeps in the same room to comfort her, she's grateful. Eventually, a ghost appears and he saves her.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader Word Count: 1,802 Warnings: Teasing, mentions of bullying A/N: As always, requests are open!

—

Dean Winchester calling...The words flashed across the screen of your phone in a blazing glory as you scrambled to answer.

You had known him since high school. The day he crashed into Bisbee High would be one you remembered for the rest of your life. You were crammed in the corner of an alcove off of the senior hallway, sketchbook and pencil open in your lap. The whispers were following him down the hall, but he couldn’t have seemed to care less. In his brown leather jacket, dirty jeans, and logger boots, it was obvious why he was being discussed. As a small city shoved in the mountains of southeast Arizona, Bisbee wasn’t exactly a thriving tourist destination. Newcomers were few and far between, especially ones with teenagers.

He walked behind the principal, Mr. Giltner, without making eye contact with anyone. You watched him, fascinated, focusing on the whispers of your classmates as he passed. From them you learned his name was Dean Winchester and that he, his younger brother, and their father were here due to his father’s interest in the old copper mines. As you were processing that information he turned his head, locking his green eyes onto yours. With the small smile he gave you, your life was never the same again.

As it turns out, his father was interested in more than the copper mines. Specifically, he was interested in what was left in them. You turned out to be a great aid to the Winchester family, thanks to the one thing that made no one else want to associate with you. 

It started when you were young, maybe four years old. You had seen the little boy standing in the corner of your bedroom one night, trying to speak to you. Petrified, you about woke the entire neighborhood. Your parents, of course, saw nothing and told you to go back to sleep. They thought it was a classic case of the monster under the bed and attributed it to a nightmare. But for you, that night was the beginning of the never-ending cycle that became the rest of your youth. Every few months, a new one would appear in front of you, trying desperately to tell you something. You lived in a constant state of paranoia and fear, but you eventually learned to stop screaming. Years of therapy and ridicule taught you that silence was your biggest ally. By the time you were ten you had learned that no one was ever going to believe you, and the only way to survive was to stop talking about it. Despite not speaking a word about it in seven years, your classmates still teasingly referred to you as “schizo ghost girl,” and refused to treat you like a normal human being. In their eyes you were a certified freak, the girl that cried ghost. 

To Dean though, you were the key. He pulled you through a whirlwind of validation and usefulness, with you eventually helping him and his father, John, get rid of the wailing woman in the mines. On the day he exited Bisbee, Arizona, he left you with his phone number and a promise to always call back. 

This is a promise he was currently fulfilling, though you were so frantic you could barely answer. When you did manage to slide your finger across the screen of your phone and put it up to your ear, no words came out.

“Y/n?” Dean’s concerned voice crackled through the speaker. As soon as it reached your ears your breath whooshed out of you in a rush, the tears quick to follow.

“Dean, it's awful. He’s huge, burns all over his face, bloodshot eyes. He has this giant knife and all he does is scream at me…”

“Whoa, hang on, slow down,” Dean cut you off, trying to understand your ramblings. “Is this another ghost? How many times has he appeared?”

You took a deep breath before replying, “yes. I just saw him for the second time, but it was only an hour between sightings. I called you right after the first appearance. Dean, please. He’s horrific.” You knew you were pleading, but you desperately needed his help. This was the first one to shake you in a while, and it shook you deeply.

“Okay, hang tight,” Dean’s voice sighed through the phone. He shouted something away from the speaker, presumably to Sam. “You’re still in Tucson right?” he asked, and you heard rustling in the background.

“Y-yes,” you stammered. “I’m sorry Dean, I thought I was able to handle these on my own now but I just…” you trailed off, overwhelmed with a feeling of inadequacy.

Almost as if he could sense your feelings through the phone, Dean’s voice softened as he said, “hey, it’s okay. We’ll be there in about six hours. Just hang in there, okay? We’ll figure this out.”

—

Those six hours passed agonizingly slowly. You were sitting on your bed in your apartment, knees touching your chest, when the knock on the door came. It startled you so much you let out a little yelp. You heard a muffled call of your name come through the odor, and you rushed across the apartment to open it.

What you saw on the other side brought you the biggest sense of relief you had felt in months. Dean and his brother Sam were standing in front of you, the latter of which was holding a duffle bag that you knew was stocked full of shotguns with salt-stuffed shells.

Dean immediately stepped forward and pulled you into a tight hug. You felt instant relief and zoned out while, with you still wrapped in his arms, he gave Sam further instructions. He pulled away as the door closed softly behind Sam.

“Have you slept at all? It’s 1 AM and no offense, but you look like shit.”

You smiled at him softly and shook your head. “I can’t. Any time I close my eyes, all I see is his horrible face.”

“Okay, tell me a little more about him and then we’re getting you in bed,” Dean said, rubbing a hand down his face. He was exhausted too, having just come off of a hunt and then driving to you, but he would never tell you that.

Thirty minutes later the two of you were settling into your bed together, with Sam set up a couple miles away in a motel with his computer and a stack of books on local lore. You crawled under the covers, immediately snuggling up to Dean. He welcomed you with open arms, pulling you tight into his side where he knew you would feel safer. He kissed the top of your head and you sighed contentedly, already starting to drift off. There had always been something between you and Dean, but there was never any time to explore it. The connection formed nine years ago back in high school but something always ended up stepping between you, forcing you apart.

He drifted in and out all night, watching you sleep on peacefully, undisturbed by the unnamed ghost harassing you. At 6 AM you were both jolted forcefully out of your sleep by Dean’s phone ringing. Sam had found something.

—

You rushed to the abandoned factory to meet Sam, because it seemed that no ghost could haunt anywhere that wasn’t considered creepy. On the way there Sam had explained that the ghost haunting you was a worker killed in a fire at the factory 31 years ago. He was trying to hack his way through a wall with a knife to escape the flames, but eventually succumbed to them despite his efforts.

“If I’m right, I bet we’ll find the knife in there among the rubble,” Sam said as you entered the building, armed with shotguns and rock salt.

You all moved slowly through the burnt remains of the factory, attempting to locate the knife among the soot covering the floor. Suddenly you froze, a horrible feeling creeping over you. You turned around slowly to face Dean who was standing behind you, your face quickly leeching of all color. Seeing the look on your face Dean spun quickly, firing off a shot before even stopping. He turned back to face you again, yelling “duck!” as he fired off another shot above your head.

“Sam,” he yelled, “you better hurry up and find that knife! This guy means business!”

“I’m trying!” Sam shouted back. “There’s too much soot here, I can’t see anything!”

You scrambled over to help Sam, brushing your hands through the soot and debris on the floor. “I found it!” you screamed, lifting it up off the ground. “Sam, start the furnace!”

As Sam ran across the room to the furnace, the ghost got the jump on Dean, picking him up and throwing him into a wall across the room. You jumped up and started running to him, but he frantically shook his head and pointed.

“The knife!” he yelled. “Get the knife to Sam!”

You turned and looked back to where you left the knife on the floor before looking up and seeing the ghost charge at you from across the room. You dove for the knife, shouting at Sam to get out of the way. He stepped back from the furnace as you stood and threw the knife across the room as hard as you could. It hit its mark as it clanged against the back of the furnace, and you heard the ghost give out one last ghastly scream as it went up in flames.

—

You were once again tangled up in Dean’s arms, feeling his breath sigh through his chest when he said the last thing you ever expected him to say.

“Come with us,” he said, pulling back just far enough to see your face. “You were a total badass back there. You could hold your own, especially if you let me train you a little.”

You were speechless, unsure of how to respond. His statement was a compliment, but you were unsure if you could actually survive the kind of life Dean lived on a daily basis.

Sensing your hesitation, Dean tilted your chin back up so you looked at him. “I can’t leave you behind again,” he said, his voice cracking slightly. “I can’t drive away from you and know that you’ll try to struggle with another ghost on your own. I want to be there for you, and I want you to be here with me. Wherever the road takes us.”

He spoke with so much conviction, there was no hope for you to resist. You smiled up at him, nodding your head slowly. A smile broke out over his face as you said, “okay. Let me go pack.”

—

[nad-zeta]

Match up ^o^

May I request a Match up, please?

I’m at the part when I have to choose a route and I honestly don’t know/care. So I decided why not let some lovely internet stranger choose for me? Who do you think I would pair the best with?

I also noticed how much effort and detail you put into these so I decided that it was only fair to try to put in just as much effort in requesting. Or maybe I am just extremely vain so blabbering on this much about myself comes naturally (I also wouldn’t be too suprised if this were the case lol). Either way, I apologise for this getting so long. And without further ado, let’s learn about yours truly. Uh, yay?

I will start with my physical appearance because that’s easiest.  

First of all, I am rather tall for a woman. Pair that with the fact that I constantly wear boots with 8 centimetre or greater heels and I almost always cap out somewhere above 182 centimetres (that’s 6 feet in American). So yes. I’m not exactly the approachable type, on the account of my height and near constant resting bitch face. I always look pissed off at something (and to be fair, I usually am).

I am a brunette with boring brown eyes. Nothing of note there. 

I prefer to walk on my toes, for whatever reason. I also have great posture when I walk and these two factors always make it seem like I am floating. I’ve been told that I always seem very confident and self-assured. Which is complete bullshit because 90% of the time, I am winging it. 

I am a dancer (of sorts. More on that later), so I am rather slim and toned. This is literally the only aspect of my physicality that I am actually confident in. The rest of me can burn in hell for all I care. 

I am also very touch adverse. I hate the feeling of skin touching my skin it grosses me touch. However. There are a select few people in this world that I accept and enjoy hugs and cuddles from (and who I could snuggle with for hours). If I let anyone cuddle me that means I trust said person unconditionally and feel extremely comfortable around them. It’s essentially the ultimate statement of trust.

Onto personality.

If you can’t already tell, I have about as much dignity as a wet cat. I while I certainly do have an ego, it can be kind of difficult to bruise. Publically, I am absolutely shameless and don’t give two shits about what others think. 

I have a tongue of steel and can rapid fire the most atrocious insults and comebacks when provoked. I’m known for my venomous sarcasm and biting wit among my own circles. I have a line for nearly every single situation so one-liners have become my thing. Which works out for me because I am a huge flirt.

I’ll flirt with pretty much anyone regardless of gender, I don’t give a crap. To clarify, it’s not because I am an attention whore (okay, yes. I am a complete attention whore), it’s because I am a theatre kid so excessive eye contact and sexual jokes are kinda where I thrive. I am also not afraid to get questionably lascivious with my flirting if someone tries to out-pace me. I never blush, I never falter, and I never let anyone know that they got the better of me. It shows weakness. 

Despite my salacious façade, I am not inherently a sexual person. As a matter of fact, I am quite the opposite. I don’t experience sexual attraction (kudos to my asexual humans. I see you). This has rendered me practically immune to all charm, crushes, and sex appeal. It makes my life a lot easier, in my opinion. I don’t get too attached. I also enjoy messing around with the egos of fuck boys. 

As mentioned earlier, I am an attention whore. I love showing off because I crave validation (this could point to some deep seated insecurities about myself that I refuse to acknowledge…. Ahem). Being on stage as where I thrive. And yes, I am a dancer, as I stated earlier. But I am not your conventional prissy ballerina. I am a circus performer. More specifically, I’m an aerialist. I have covered trapeze, contortion (I am unnaturally flexible), lyra, and silks. It’s a lot of fun almost dying every day and finding bruises in the most questionable places (if you cant already tell, I am an adrenaline junkie. I took karate for the first dozen or so years of my life and have recently been searching for more weapons combat classes because apparently I don’t have enough bruises already).

I am not easily impressed. And I don’t give out compliments very often. And that includes myself. I can be unnecessarily hard on myself at times… most of the time. But then again, who isn’t? 

As for the side of me that isn’t stark-raving mad, I am usually a pretty objective person. While I have no qualms with discussing emotions (both mine and friend’s. I am a great listener and actually give pretty good advice when it comes to dealing with intense emotions). I tend to avoid letting them interfere with my logic. I look down on those who allow their emotions to dictate their actions. It makes them needlessly reckless. 

I am typically a pretty chill person. When I am among people I am unfamiliar with, I tend to stay quiet and try not to rock the boat too much (again, I won’t hesitate to unleash a severe tongue lashing upon any poor soul who happens to rub me the wrong way… Or just happens to exist. I don’t take shit from other people and I hate it when others try to control me. (I don’t play rough, I play smart). 

I really enjoy reading, writing, or drawing quietly. I can’t stand loud and excessive noises or people (parties, screaming, concerts). I am a true extroverted introvert. I love being the center of attention and chatting, but I need my alone time. People are exhausting to deal with. 

Because of my aversion to loud sounds, I tend to avoid typical dance parties like the plague. While I am very good with mingling and partying in general, I can only keep it up in short bursts before I have to retreat somewhere quiet. This is also the reason I greatly prefer the nighttime (if I had a choice I would sleep all day and only frolick around at night. I just love the dark. It’s comforting in a weird way). I also love the night because that’s when I get to sleep and just peace out on life. It’s kinda like non-committal dying.

I am near constantly on hyper-alert so I am not easily startled. When I do get startled, I have a tendency to squeak, yelp or growl. These noses are purely reactionary sounds but for whatever reason, my friends think that they are absolutely adorable and will go to great lengths to startle me just to hear me make them.

To counteract my friend’s malevolence, I have learnt to be super observant, especially when I feel threatened. Usually, I am caught up on my own world and thoughts. I have an imagination so powerful that I can trick my brain into feeling false sensations such as an extra limb or falling. I much prefer to spend my time in my head rather than our boring reality. But if I feel threatened, or think that another attack is imminent, I instantly become hyper aware. These moments of lucidity enable me to make certain observations others would otherwise be overlooked (for example. I was able to tell when my professor lost her wedding ring due to the discoloration around her ring finger and the habitual and near-constant worrying she did at it. I offered to help her look after class ^.^. I admittedly felt kinda smug when I saw her surprise.) Ironically enough, I like to refer to this mode of thinking as “Sherlocking”. I can be quite the detective when I really try. 9 out of 10 times my friends will come to me when they suspect infidelity, I am pretty good at digging up dirt. 

However, I have to make the conscious decision to do this, usually when I am trying to figure someone out or manipulate them into liking me. So this isn’t constant and usually I go about my day like everyone else, blissfully unaware of my surroundings.

Uhh, there is probably more I could cover but this is getting very long as-is and you are probably forcing yourself to get through my seemingly eternal ramblings. So I am going to stop here and go grab myself some food. 

Best of luck to you,

-November

Hi there love!<3 you sound like such a cool interesting person! ^_^ Hehehe I probs took so long with this match up that you already chose a new route lol! Anyways thanx for waiting soooooo long for this and I hope ya enjoy it love ^0^ ^_^

I match you with……………………… Masamune

Honestly, it was between Masamune and Mitsuhide for me lol but i eventually decided to go with Masamune 

The first time Masamune sees you, his eyes go wide in awe, like wow you are one tall fine lady! He has legit never met anyone so tall. After you were named as chatelaine, you stayed behind with some of the warlords to chat and get to know them better, you are after all going to be seeing their faces every day for the next 3 months. 

Right of the bat, Masamune is howling in laughter at the fact that you are way taller than Ieyasu. You, Masamune and Mitsuhide basically tease the poor porcupine for a solid 20 minutes. “My my I never expected such a scary-looking little mouse to be so bubbly and friendly.” 

Oooh, this boy just stared a war of wits. Today day was a good day cause your tongue of steel was rapidly firing witty words and sarcastic remarks at the resident kitsune. He almost couldn’t keep up, almost. Masamune was just standing there watching the whole scene unfold, you truly were going to be a lot of fun! Masamune decided to test out that tongue of steel of your and started firing some flirty pick-up line, while unbeknown to him you are the queen of one-liners, and have no shame when it comes lascivious flirting. Masamune, of course, never backs down from a challenge, and he was determined to make you blush. The conversation got so heated that it made even Hideyoshi blush on your behalf. You simply laughed and fired another one of your pick-up lines.

After the little chat in the hallway and a massive speech from mama bear for talking about things that were not PG13, cause of the kids *cough* Mitsunari *cough*, you and Masamune become quick friends. He had never met a woman before that was immune to his boyish wild charm, and handsome sexual appeal. Masamune was definitely popular with the woman, not as popular as Hideyoshi, but he was definitely a fuckboi. As surprised as he was, that his normal antics didn't work on you, his ego wasn’t dented one bit, it just made him more determined to get to know you. 

Masamune definitely finds your flirtatious nature attractive, especially when you managed to score the two of you free sweet bun just by flirting with the shop owner, he was, even more, shook when the shop owner was a woman, your flirtation truly knows no bounds. The two of you would spend loads of time together, just going out for tea and sweets while getting to know each other. TBH although Masamune would never admit it, he found it refreshing that you weren't just his friend simply cause he was hot or cause you wanted to climb in stations but because you actually liked him as a person. You and Masamune definitely made an unstoppable team when it came to banquets. The two of you would team up and start teasing everyone there. When you two cuties are together its always a good time with loads of laughter and banter

Masamune discovered that you like him, was an adrenaline junkie. He loved that he finally had someone around that would do stupid shit with him just for the thrill of it. The two of you would go out on adventures 24/7 jumping down waterfalls and hiking up cliffs. The two of you goofball would also dare each other to do the craziest shit. Like one-time Masamune dared you to jump off the castle’s roof onto your balcony, and you freaken did it, no questions asked. Or like the one time you dared him to put his head in Shogetsu mouth, mind you the little cub was now grown into a full-blown tiger

One day you and Masa went to go watch one of Mitsuhide’s undercover performances. The three of you were investigating a shady daimyo in one of the nearby provinces. The three of you disguised yourselves as performers and joined a circus troop as their new dancers. You were so excited, the stage is where you truly come alive. You had promised Masa to show him something that would shock/surprise him after he gave you the grand tour of  Azuchi. Today was the day, you had kept your dance and performances a secret from the two men, and now it was finally time to show them what you can do. You had 3 different performances planned. The first one was contortion. To say Masamune was shook would be an understatement he never knew anyone could be so freaken flexible, like wow. Your next performance was aerial dancing, his blue eye gleamed in delight, watching you move through the air so gracefully. If he wasn’t sure before he was sure now, this boy loved ya. But what really took his breath away was when you trapezed through the air, he was absolutely mesmerized at the way you flew through the air doing back-flips and other cool ass tricks. Masamune loved the look of pure joy on your face as you performed and after the show, you explained to him that you were a theatre kid back in the past. Mitsuhide definitely took note of your skills, and since that day you now accompanied him on most missions that required him to disguise himself as a performer.

Masamune loved everything about you at this point. Your overdramatic introvert/extrovert personality. The way you walked. Gosh, he loved the way you walked, it looked like you were an angel floating around wherever you went. He loved your banter and one-liner for every situation. And most of all he loved your hyper-alert side. Boy did he love to come up behind you to scare the crap outta you just so he could hear you squeak, yelp or growl. Like he lived for those adorably cute noises. And you somewhere along the line had fallen in love with the big idiot. He was always coming up with new fun adventures to go on or new fun things to do. He was one of those few people that could actually keep up with your banter

What was he most impressed with you may ask, well you Sherlocking skills of course. One day there were rumours of some super shady daimyos visiting Azuchi. Word on the street was that they were planning on stealing Mitsunari report to make the poor angel look bad. Mitsuhide was away sorting out some other plots and schemes, so it was now up to you to use your skills, to save the angel. You used your detective skill to gather evidence, and since your inner circle knew you were from the future, you were planning on catching them in the act and filming them for evidence. Masamune was always up for an adventure, so he acted as you own personal Watson. The two of you hid while watching the whole scene unfold, once they left the room the two of you came out. “What do you think they are going to do with the report lass,” he asked while his blue eye gleamed in delight. “Hmmmmm, I believe they are going to burn the evidence in the forest” you replied in your best British accent. Masamune couldn’t help but laugh. The two of you made your way to a secluded part of the forest and spotted them making a fire. Masamune looked at you curiously “How did you know they were going to be in this exact spot.” “Elementary, my dear Masamune.” He couldn’t help but burst out in laughter you really were a super fun kitten. Unfortunately for the two of you, they heard you guys laughing behind the trees and before you knew it, the two of you were surrounded. One of the men had a sword right at your throat ready to cut you open, that is when you shocked them by not backing down from the fight, you hit the sword away with one of your own gifted to you by your dearest one-eyed dragon. “ Point that sword at me one more time and i’ll slash your Achilles’ tendons, and TBH given the medicine situation of this time, no one would know how to fix your injury, so I hope you like hobbling around on one leg for the rest of your life cause that is what will happen.” These men were shook; meanwhile, Masa was next to you howling in laughter, “She’s not joking boys, this lass delivers on her threats.” You had never seen grown men run away from a fight so fast. You and Masamune picked up Mitsunari’s report that had fallen on the ground during the commotion and walked back hand in hand

You didn’t really like skin touching skin, but TBH you definitely like the warm feeling of Masamune’s hand warmed around yours. The two of you had come to fall in love with each other, and it wasn’t long before you two cuties entered into a relationship. Despite both of you being adrenaline junkies, both of you also loved your quiet times. Often you would sit together in his manor each doing your own thing. You would read and write, and Masamune would sit at his desk pretending to work (Cause admin is so freaken boring). 

The two of you would have the best time together during banquets you loved being the centre of attention and would chat with everyone, but as the night would progress you would start feeling a bit drained and that’s when the one-eyed dragon would swoop in, pick you up and takes you to a quiet corner where the two of you cuddle and snuggle together.

He would spoil you rotten with the most amazing food, he would basically, cook anything your heart desires just to see that beautiful smile on your face. His heart would always burst with affection whenever he cuddles and kiss you, he knew that the fact that you allowed him to cuddle you was the ultimate statement of trust between the two of you.

Often the two of you cuties can be found causing mischief and giving Mamayoshi more grey hairs or cuddled together sharing stories of your day

Other potential matches............... Mitsuhide 

Hope u enjoyed it dear @november-solarstorms

[mydorkycreations]

for the love language asks, could I ask for Jasper, Friday, Hiroki, Aaron, Forest, Winter, Candace, and Tiffany? OH, also Gretchen and Amadeus, if u don't mind??? I jst. Love all of them.

You CAN ask for them all of them! I’ll kinda do this by ranking of most preferred to least preferred :)

Also this got very long I’m sorry

Jasper:

Quality time-- he loves being around people he likes, and feels neglected/misses people if they don’t spend time with him for a while

Gifts--  he loves to give things and get things, especially if it’s involving food, and he has a mental list of things that he knows his friends like/dislike that he just kinda always has in the back of his mind

Touch-- he’s not overly touchy, tbh. Like, it’s nice and all, but it feels a little less personal than like spending actual time together or giving someone something in general

Words of affirmation-- as odd as this may sound, he doesn’t really need a hype man or verbal affirmation. He can figure things out on his own. Compliments are nice, though, and communication is important, so he puts some effort into this one even if it isn’t necessarily his thing per se

Acts of service-- he appreciates someone making an effort to make his life easier and generally tries to do the same, but he considers it more of a being polite thing rather than an actual act of affection. Plus, he can be particular about some things (especially with the way the kitchen is organized) and so sometimes the help isn’t always as helpful as the helper thinks

Friday:

Words of affirmation-- she tries not to show it, but words have a major impact on her, both positively and negatively. A compliment can make her day and a rude comment can just as easily ruin it. She’s very shy about saying nice things to other people, though, in case the compliment is rejected

Touch-- she’s insecure about it because it’s something her mother actively discouraged, but she ADORES physical affection. Once she’s comfortable enough with Jasper someone to feel like she can without getting in trouble, the poor soul is in near danger of being smothered in it

Quality time-- it’s an acceptable, straightforward way to show affection that’s more difficult to pull off when ulterior motives are in play, and she appreciates it for that

Acts of service-- someone??? did something NICE for her??? Unrealistic. She tends to think of this more as someone trying to like get her attention than be nice

Gifts-- this one is Odd because she hates getting gifts, but gives them all the time because she’s rich and has money to throw around, so I’m putting it on the bottom

Hiroki:

Touch-- Hiroki is INCREDIBLY tactile, possibly because of the way his powers work as extensions of himself. Unless there’s a reason not to, he’s touching his friends almost constantly, and can recognize most of their silhouettes by feel when he’s using his powers to sense people. He’ll pick up on any sort of unusual response to/rejection of contact immediately

Quality time-- listen, when you’re an introvert, deciding someone is worth spending time with is A Big Deal, especially if it’s one on one, and he doesn’t hand it out lightly

Acts of service-- to do something for someone so they don’t have to, and then have them do the same for you, is that not an incredible thing? He certainly thinks it is. It would be #2, but there is also Extreme Mental Trauma associated with this one and it’s demoted to #3 as a result

Gifts-- he appreciates gifts (especially if they’re useful), but by and large his habit of knitting things for other people stems from the fact that if he made everything for himself he’d have probably filled his entire apartment with knitted things by now than any real fondness for the gift giving or receiving process

Words of affirmation-- by and large, he thinks that words are cheap. Ironic, because he was an English major, but still

Aaron:

Gifts-- Aaron loves getting gifts. Aaron loves giving gifts. Aaron will spend money he doesn’t have to get people gifts because gifts are important

Words of affirmation-- he’s not really confident enough for you to be able to just let him read between the lines and make a judgement himself, and thrives at praise and clear verbal communication. Will tell you exactly how he feels and how fond he is of you at the drop of a hat

Touch-- physical affection is nice. Not his favorite but not bad by any meansit’s

Acts of service-- yes, okay, people doing things for you is nice and all, but people go and do things or give money to charity for the warm fuzzy feelings while not giving a single flying fuck about the people who are really impacted by it, it’s not really a surefire sign that they like you

Quality time-- like, yes, it’s nice spending time with people but it doesn’t really vibe with him as an affection source. Like you could spend every day hanging out with him and he’ll still be like “but do they like me?”

Forest (I went with young Forest here-- I’m still getting to know older Forest a bit):

Quality time-- I once read a theory that your love languages are defined by what you lacked in your youth. This is very true in this instance. You can instantly tell who Forest gravitates towards by looking at who leaves with him at parties

Touch-- grant it, touch is just a Bigger Thing culturally in the magical realm (given that physical contact between some kinds of magical entities would be physically painful for one or both parties), so maybe that disqualifies this, but yeah touching is a very major thing

Words of affirmation-- he loves to verbally flirt and be flirted with, but aside from that very specific scenario he doesn’t really care all that much 

Acts of service-- acts of service and gifts are probably about the same, but you could kind of classify Winter catching his attention by sparing his life an act of service, and then they fall in love, so I’m putting this one at #4. The bastard is in a laughably wealthy ruling class, he just expects people to do things for him, so that’s not a big deal to him (although actually doing something for someone else kinda is)

Gifts-- again, rich and politics Grant it you could call some of those gifts bribes but that’s an ugly word, don’t you think?

Winter:

Acts of service-- the need to look after and help people he cares about if they ever need it is literally what’s kept him alive, and putting it anything other than first would be a disservice. And he takes on so much that any effort made to make his life easier means the world to him

Quality time-- why do you think he never just forged Candace legal documentation and sent her to normal school or daycare? Why do you think he’s so prone to be lonely? He needs time with people

Gifts-- he loves receiving gifts in particular. They’re something to remember people by once they’re gone and parting with them would be terrible for him. But he gives gifts, too. They’re less often physical objects and more often advice or stories, although that changes with Candace as he gets old because he knows he likes having physical things to remember people by so maybe it’ll help her, too

Words of affirmation-- he still appreciates them, don’t misunderstand. And he doesn’t skimp out on telling his kids he loves them. It’s just not his favorite way to receive or show affection

Touch-- again, Magical Realm’s touching is a much less casual of a thing and it’s not really as needed as it is with humans. Between that and his lack of body heat being unnerving to a lot of humans that aren’t used to it, he just... didn’t, really. At all. Like touch was for sex and otherwise he kept little to no physical contact. It’s a big regret he has raising his earlier kids, because he just didn’t know that humans are so innately touchy feely. He probably raised at least one touch starved human on accident (he also adopted a hugging schedule later when he realized “oh shit I’ve fucked up” until he got used to casual contact)

Candace:

Quality time-- if you like someone, you spend time with them? It just makes sense to her (although that doesn't make her immune to the classic "Daaaad leave me alone" complaints)

Acts of service-- you care about someone, you look out for them. Winter’s taught her that very well

Words of affirmation-- she doesn’t need it constantly, but if she does something she’s really proud of she craves validation for it, and will go around showing everyone her new sword that she figured out how to make shoot lightning until someone’s like “wow nice work”

Touch-- she’s not very into casual touching, but if you become a level 5 or above friend you unlock the Cuddle Feature and that is nigh unstoppable once it starts, she’s like a goddamn cat

Gifts-- she’s a dichotomy of loving to give gifts and not really enjoying getting them because she herself isn’t very materialistic (unless you’re giving her swords. Or daggers. Or shields. Or, uh, old school style weapons in general).

Tiffany:

Quality time-- I hesitate to use the word “clingy,” but, uh. There is a definite “pay ATTENTION TO ME” bit of her personality if you leave her on her lonesome for too long

Touch-- Tiff is just a cuddlebug. There isn’t much of another way to describe it. Fortunately her and Candace have been over level 5 friends since they were both knee high to a toadstool

Gifts-- if you give her something, she’ll cherish it forever, and she loves to find things for her friends to give them (even if most of the time it’s cool rocks from the bottom of whatever body of water she’s currently living on with Amadeus)

Acts of service-- she doesn’t think much of it if she does something for somebody else because that’s just how she was raised, but if someone helps her out? She’ll remember it forever

Words of affirmation-- like, okay it’s nice to be verbally appreciated but she doesn’t need it

Gretchen

Quality time-- time is growing less important to her the longer she lives-- immortality can have that effect on people sometimes-- but time simply spent together is still something she heavily gravitates towards

Words of affirmation-- there are few words she loves better than “I’m proud of you” or “good job.” Loves that sweet validation

Acts of service-- she’s very devoted once she grows attached to someone, although sometimes she thinks she knows best when she really doesn’t

Touch-- touching is,, fine. Not great, but it’s okay

Gifts-- she’s immortal. What need does she have for trinkets?

Amadeus

Gifts-- do you think that them not charging Winter for an ounce of booze he’s drank for centuries is an accident? It’s not. They know it’s not really in his best interest, but they can’t bring themselves to deny him a way out of his own mind for a while

Acts of service-- this primarily surfaces in a sort of hovering/annoying parent sort of way. They’ll fuss over anyone

Words of affirmation-- words aren’t as good as something tangible, but still nice. Amadeus has a tendency to be almost transactional in their relationships. They do things for Friend, Friend does things for them. That’s what friendship is 

Touch-- eh, it’s fine but they don’t get the hype. Probably because they’re living water

Quality time-- ironic, I know, but they can almost be absent, some of the time. They’d rather do things FOR you than just spend time with you without a purpose

[astrologista]

(@chiscribbles4smiles and @starxapple with this post compelled me to want to dig this mess up from my drafts........ i wasn’t gonna post it because as a Psychological Analysis I think some of this is definitely REACHING......... or iunno....... i wrote it a long time ago when i was In A Mood but i can prove that Varian needs a mom using psychological evidence so deal w/ it y’all)

(This is a very speculative analysis but if you like those, read on.)

So if you notice how Varian reacts when he sees his father frozen in the amber, his initial reaction is disbelief. He's saying "no, no, no" over and over, hoping it's just a nightmare, that if he voices his denial enough, he'll wake up and this won't be real. He's refusing to believe it's real, begging for it to be undone, that if he just doesn't acknowledge it in these first moments of shock, maybe it'll all just go away. But seconds tick by and his dad doesn't answer him, only silence does. It slowly starts to sink in for Varian that this is real and no one is coming to help him or clean up the mess, not this time. On the subtitles Varian actually says "Dad!" and then when that doesn't work, "Daddy..." His voice changes a bit, too, becoming higher and more childlike, and choked up with tears. Which, if that don't break your heart, I don't know what does. In moments of extreme stress and trauma, it's not uncommon for children or teens to regress a little so that they can feel a little safer by returning to an earlier frame of mind. Varian desperately doesn't want the weight and responsibility of this situation to be on his shoulders. His dad has usually tried to bear the brunt of the blame for his mistakes. But even though his dad's not able to do that right now (ironically tragic), Varian still goes into this mode of regressing and responding with uncontrolled tears instead of immediate anger at the Princess. He's tired, he's given everything he can give. He really does sound like the terrified child that he is at that moment. He doesn't know what to do and would very much like for someone to show up and hug him, tell him everything will be ok and help him fix the problem.

But let’s like, consider this. It can be said that children move on from their mother's guidance to their father's once they reach a certain age. Mothers are the first teachers, who provide the basis for sustaining and prolonging life. They teach you how to eat, provide the nutrients, and take care of your physical hurts and just calm some of your fears as well, and SO much more, giving you the basic primer on how to live your life. It's not that hard to make your Mom proud as long as you're good to her and learn how to use a spoon at the appropriate age. She loves you for nothing, as you are. But once you move on, it can be a long road from mother-love to father-acceptance. Not because fathers are inherently bad or highly demanding, they just tend to value different things in addition to those survival skills that your mom taught you. For true father-acceptance, you must do things worthy of recognition. Talk. Walk. Act like a human. Show moral character. Work in the field, perform feats of strength. That is how you show your worth as a good son. So many things a mother wouldn't require, but a father might really care about. 

Varian makes inventions because that's what he does, hoping his father will at last be impressed with him. Finally, he can gain that father-acceptance he so craves. He needs to see that "pride" in Quirin's eyes to feel that he's worthy of being loved. That get-for-free, endless outpouring of mother-love is no longer in Varian's life for whatever reason. And Varian is just a very sensitive little dude. He thrives on love. And nowhere better is that shown than in the picture hanging in Quirin's room, when both his parents were there with their attention entirely on him. Their love, entirely available. There was nothing he had to do to earn it. It simply was. And to Varian, that is his gold standard. Look at his cute smol face - bliss.

With the loss of mother-love, it's no surprise that Varian went just a little bonkers with the loss of his father. Research shows that when people go without physical / emotional affection for long enough, antisocial personality traits actually can manifest, whether temporarily or perhaps permanently. The onset of which can induce panic, irrational behavior and even temporary psychosis...

If you REALLY want to get theoretical, Raps and Cass provided a tiny bit of that mother-love and in Eugene's case, a little father-acceptance, enough to keep Varian wanting to hang around them. Like a drug, he soaked up the fact that they gave him even the time of day. That's how desperate he is for attention, because attention leads to love and acceptance, and those things make Varian feel safer and more secure in the absence of his mother. (And it’s so depressing to me that he feels he has to do so much just to earn a little scrap of love.) The loss of a mother in general is just very damaging, especially to someone who's sensitive to other peoples' rejection such as Varian. When developing, children sometimes are rejected by their peers or others, making the outside/external world seem unsafe. But they can use their mother as an anchor point to make that outside exploration less scary. That way, even if others reject or mock them (which in Varian's case is a lot, everyone in the village seems to exclude or just dislike him what with his inventions trying to kill them on a regular basis), at least they have someone who genuinely loves them to come home to. An anchor point, a person whose consistency and stability makes the world safe and encourages confidence. Varian needs that and only that, but it was taken from him, for whatever reason. (If we ever find out that there’s a character responsible for that loss... *takes out a bat* i just wanna talk.) Desperate for love, he'll attach to anyone who will listen or shows the slightest bit of interest or kindness to him. Raps, Cass and Eugene have all given him little mini-speeches on how compassionate and smart and unique he is, but it's barely enough. It's like getting a few bread crusts when you're starving for a three-course meal - it'll give you something to keep from going off the edge, but it's never going to fill that void. And he has to practically beg Cass to give her little speech, prompting her with "I was just trying to make you see something in me... something special... I was just being dumb." Most likely a subconscious fish-for-compliments move, but it gets the job done and he gets what he needs - a little validation.

Like others, I just find it kind of gross how far Varian has to go for love. If the people would just take a chance to get to know Varian, they would see that fundamentally, he is (well... was...) basically a harmless kid. Reckless, overconfident, excitable, yes, but he never wanted to hurt anyone. If anything, he only wanted to help them. 

No child should ever live in a society where they have to feel like everyone in their town rejects and/or hates them, and that their only parent is distant. The point is, there's not enough love left in Corona for someone like Varian, who craves and needs response and confirmation that his Dad is proud of him. That validation literally means the difference between his physical and mental health and not - it is enough to make or break him. It's basically the one and only thing he cares about, returning to that time when his family was whole. With adequate mother-love and father-acceptance, Varian could be his best self. He could be very well-adjusted and would probably not have as much maladaptive thinking as he does. He'd be less defensive, more genuinely confident and act more maturely, probably. He’d still be his excitable, lovable self, but with so much less toxic thoughts running through his mind. And he'd be more open to suggestions about how to improve his alchemy. In What the Hair he just came off as insecure and unwilling to change his experiment. But with genuine confidence instilled by his parents' support, he'd probably forgo his pride in the interest of making safer and smaller inventions. He wouldn't feel like he has to prove anything, because he'd know he has as much love as he needs waiting at home. With Varian, everything in his mind and body is out of balance (which is ironic for an alchemist), so it's not surprising that he is such a mess or causes so many disasters...

People might disagree with me on this one but I honestly think Arianna is / might be the key to Varian's redemption. He claims to still be seeking the father-acceptance, but to come back from where he is, he first needs to take a step back and get the purest and most unconditional mother-love - HUGS FOR DAYS YA FEEL ME? - to know that he is still worthy of being loved. He did kidnap Arianna because she was the weak link, but in a way, it may not be that much of an accident, and more of a reaching-out for that mother-love from Rapunzel's mother, on a subconscious level (or not. “i want a mommy so i’m stealing one. no one will stop me...”)

No wonder seeing Rapunzel and both of her parents embrace set him off. That pretty much symbolized everything Varian was trying to get to... but couldn't.  

tl;dr someone get me adoption papers NOW so I can adopt this child

[howtohero]

Running Your Own Unsanctioned Prison

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. You fight a villain, beat them, they get arrested by the cops, sent to jail and then 3-8 days later you’re doing the same exact thing all over again. Same villain and everything. The only thing different is that now they’re wearing an “I went to prison and all I got was this dumb shirt” shirt! Unbelievable. But what if I told you that there was a better way? What if I told you that you could make it so that beaten villains stay beaten. What if I told you that you could create a world where supervillains weren’t breaking out of prison every single week. Well I am telling you all these things! And the way to do it is to make your own prison!

Making your own prison is easy. All you need to do is find a large unused building built with reinforced walls that is far removed from the rest of society and that no cops would ever be caught dead going anywhere near. If your neighborhood is anything like mine you already have four or five spaces like that in mind. But what’s to stop you from falling into the same pitfalls that make legal supervillain prisons so eminently escapable? Well this guide obviously. Other prison wardens don’t have that. They probably can’t even read.

Power To The People No Siree Bob! If you recall from a few months ago, we spoke about the concept of “evil powers”, powers that seem inherently predisposed to committing crimes. Many supervillains are only villains because they believe that their powers leave them with no other choice. Do you think folks like Jhonny McBarnBurner or Negatic would be a supervillain if their pyrokinetic powers didn’t only work on barns or their touch didn’t steal souls respectively? Who’s to say! They’ve never had the opportunity to explore those possibilities. That’s why your prison needs to be chock full of power suppressors. Maybe without their pesky powers bringing them down these guys will be able to truly turn over a new leaf. And if not, well they don’t have any powers, they’re going to have a much harder time escaping. Sure you’re not letting them be their truest fullest selves, but their truest fullest selves are mass criminals, so that’s the way it needs to go!

Larks and Recreation Supervillains need to be stimulated. If they’re allowed to remain idle they’re going to start to plot. And we can’t be having that. You should spend some time crafting a full schedule for these guys with round-the-clock recreation and rehabilitation. They should be given plenty of look outdoors time. They can’t actually go outside, outside is where prying eyes are. And your prison needs to remain a secret. But they should be allowed to look out the window as much as they want. You should also have frequent activities. Movie nights showcasing movies about bad guys turning their life around. Charades where you lose points for pantomiming crimes (thus making these people consider other aspects of life for a change). Karaoke nights, talent shows, wacky hat days! In your prison the fun should never stop! (Unless one of the villains acts out then they should be punished by revoking their right to choose their own karaoke songs. They’ll have to sing whatever embarrassing songs the other villains come up with. Hilarious!) 

Isolation Station When you’re not around to supervise things, villains should be kept alone in their own individual cells. When villains get together they get very competitive and we don’t want any supervillain oneupmanship in your prison. The only time villains should be allowed to hang out with one another is when they’re engaged in rehabilitating activities. Because then they’ll be in competition to see who can become the most reformed. And that’s the best kind of supervillain competition there is. Be sure to always compliment the villains who have shown the most progress by saying things like “Wow Stabbin’ Jack, you’ve really been doing a great job not stabbing anybody during the past seventeen minutes I’m proud of you.” This will encourage other stabbing-themed villains in your prison to hold themselves back from stabbing people for at least eighteen minutes, which will push Stabbin’ Jack to go to nineteen minutes and so on and so forth until these guys can go years without stabbing anybody fueled solely by spite.  

Ghosting the Cops No doubt the police are going to start to notice that a lot of supervillains that you fight don’t end up in the regular justice system. Here are a few ways to sidestep the awkward conversations you’re going to need to have:

Laugh, but for a long time. This will make them think you’re being attacked by some laughing powered supervillain and they’ll leave you alone so you can handle that situation. 

Blame portals. Portals open up around the world and spit things out and suck things in all the time. Whose to say your enemies don’t keep falling into portals to parts unknown. 

Throw them in your secret prison too. The more the merrier!

Play dead. They can’t question you if you’re dead. This is a foolproof plan.

Repeat “I hear you and your feelings are valid,” until they stop asking you invasive questions. 

With the cops off your back you’ll be able to keep these bad guys underground and behind bars forever!!! Hooray!!!

The Robots are Stealing Our Jobs! Presumably you’ve got other stuff going on and you’re not going to be able to devote all your time to running a prison and looking after dozens of superhuman prisoners. So you’re going to need to hire, build, or steal a contingent of robots to automate everything. You can’t hire human guards, because what you’re doing is a crime and any human who is willing to participate in this crime is a criminal and we can’t have criminals watching criminals. That would be insane. Luckily, if you’ve got a prison, that means you’ve beaten some supervillains. And if you’ve beaten some supervillains that means you’ve requisitioned some cool stuff. Odds are good that amongst all that cool stuff is an entire army of androids. Supervillains love their armies of androids. It stems from their trust issues. So just reprogram some of those guys into prison guards and you’re good to go!

No Place Like Atomspace If you are unable to find a place for your prison. Or you’ve found a suitable building but it’s right in the center of town and already filled with criminals, why not just shrink it down to microscopic size. Atomspace, owing to the teeny-tiny size of everything in it, has plenty of space. Sure, placing these people in another dimension (and stealing a prison) might not be the most ethical of moves but hey, if it means you can go a week without having to fight the Literal Devil (the villain who takes things literally not the demon) it will all have been worth it. Just make sure your prison is totally secure before you move it to Atomspace. The last thing you want is for them to get out and then for you to have a bunch of microscopic enemies that are invisible to the naked eye running amok. 

Dress for Success The goal of any good secret prison is to reform the secret inmates (so jot that down) and the best way to do that is to dress your inmates for success. “Dress for the job you want for your secret prisoners not the one your secret prisoners have” the old saying goes, so get rid of those orange jumpsuits or prison pin-stripes. Instead, you should make your secret prisoners wear superhero costumes in lieu of traditional prison uniforms. This will nudge them in the right direction and if anybody happens to catch a glance of what you’re doing you can just pass it off as you forming your own new superhero team. Heh.

If you follow all of these tips to the letter you’ll have your own thriving underground incarceration center in no time. It’s time to end the trend of frequent supervillain jailbreaks. Be the change you want to see in the world. Start your own unsanctioned prison.

[btsreactionsandtexts]

Promixity

Namjoon x Reader

Your girl was bored so here’s a thingy - Admin Dayna

Proximity (n.)  

nearness in space, time, or relationship.

“I’m with him for better or for worse.”

“It’ll probably be for worse.”

“I knew that the day we got together.” Your eyes flickered upwards at your friend who sat on the barstool in front of you just across the kitchen counter. She sighed in response, her shoulders hunching over in disapproval. You ran your hands across the bunch of grapes you held underneath the running water of the kitchen faucet.

“You think he’ll cheat on you?”

“No!” You were quick to protest, shutting off the running water with a little too much force and placing the grapes in a bowl. You picked off a few for yourself before heading towards the coffee table within the living room area. Your friend followed with a snort - another sign of disapproval. “I just know it’ll be hard. With his schedule and all… he wouldn’t cheat.”

“You sure about that?”

“He doesn’t even have time to cheat, [y/f/n].” Silence fell between the two of you. You stole a glance at your friend as you popped a grape in your mouth. Her facial expression was tense, clearly disturbed by what you said. “I was joking. God…” You dropped yourself onto the sofa, putting the grapes down and leaning back, attempting to make yourself comfortable. Your friend sat beside you, grabbing the T.V. remote, picking out a movie on Netflix to watch.

“You spoke to him lately?”

“Mhmm. Last night - wanna watch the Lovely Bones?”

“Pass. That pedophilia shit creeps me out.” Your friend says, scrolling right past the movie and taking a handful of grapes of her own.. “How is he and the boys?”

“Fine. When he called, they were all in Jin’s hotel room recording some VLive.”

“Eat Jin?”

“I don’t know, wasn’t paying attention - have you watched Sense 8?”

“No… is it any good?”

“I only watched the first episode. I liked it.” Your friend nodded and chewed her grapes slowly, reading the summary of Sense 8 before deciding whether or not she wanted to watch it. You shifted a bit in the sofa, clearing your throat before adding, “he’s super stressed.”

“Hmmm?”

“Namjoon. He’s stressed out.”

“I’d assume.” She shrugged in response, finally coming to the decision, and pressing play on Sense 8.

Silence fell between you two again. Your friend shifted away from you before resting her head on your lap. The two of you watched the screen with contentment for the first 10 minutes of the first episode. However, your mind drifted after a few lingering moments of general indifference. Your thoughts wandering off to wherever Namjoon was in Japan. It was increasingly tiresome dating him, so your friend had pointed out. Majority of the time the two of you spent miles away from one another. A bearable task at first but… after a while you’ve been craving attention that nights out with friends couldn’t satisfy. Of course the standard Facetime and phone calls were made when he was able to. He sent you snapchat pictures every once in awhile to remind you he hasn’t once forgotten about you… but it was tiresome all the same.

There were mornings where you woke up, rolling over to his side of the bed, disappointed to find it empty. Getting dressed for work were fine for most days, but what about the times when you looked yourself in the mirror and doubted yourself? Usually that’s when Namjoon stepped in. He’d wrap one arm around your shoulder, look at your reflection and say, “There’s never been a day you hadn’t looked nice.” A simple compliment, but it worked well enough to get you by. It worked well enough to keep your spirits and confidence high.

You’ve grown dependent. That’s never a good thing in a relationship, is it? You cringed at the thought of being the type to completely forget there was a world outside their boyfriend. The type that talks about them 24/7 and loses themselves in their relationship. It was an ugly thought to think. You were such a strong believer of self-sufficiency and independence, yet here you were incapable of looking yourself in the mirror and telling yourself you’re hot shit without the need of validation from some boy. “[y/f/n], I’m not like those people am I?”

“What?”

“Am I… am I one of those people that need a boyfriend? Like… thrive off of the compliments and support of a boy?”

“What are you talking about, [y/n]?” She’d ask laughing at you.

You lick your lips and huffed. “I have a reputation to uphold as an independent feminist queen t-m.”

“T-M?”

“You know? The little trademark symbol at the end? T-”

“Shut up and watch the T.V.” She retorted, laughing at you even more.

You were happy to oblige. You focused on the show once more. You were able to keep your attention on the show for a little longer than last time, but you inevitably lost yourself in thought once more. Namjoon was just so far away all the time. You’d think by now you would have gotten used to the distance and cherish the few moments you actually had him before you but you’ve grown selfish. You constantly crave his affection and his touch - him. You just crave him all the time. Sometimes you think you're fine but then you’ll just randomly remember he wasn’t there and it’ll ruin your mood for a while. It was the worst walking down the streets of Seoul empty handed. Clenching, unclenching your fist because there was no hand to hold - you cringed again. God, when did you become so corny?

Your friend was fast asleep beside you on your bed. You’ve been on your cellphone majority of the night, scrolling through instagram, envious of everyone who showed up on your timeline. Selfies after selfies, all of them with big smiles on their faces or with someone else. #RelationshipGoals, #SquadGoals. When did you become so petty? Of course life wasn’t all shits and giggles for those you follow. They had some hardships, too. But seeing all this happy-go-lucky shit on your social media in such a depressing mood wasn’t all that helpful. You locked your phone and held it over your chest. You closed your eyes and breathed, reasoning with yourself. You were being ridiculous, you knew you were. You just missed him is all. Nothing wrong with missing someone you love. It was only human. You exhaled, and nodded, agreeing with yourself. You just missed him. It’s okay to miss him.

It’s okay. 

Putting your cell on the bedside table, you turned your body away from your friend and attempted to fall asleep. Memories of you and Namjoon played in your head, but you were fine with it. Happy in fact. You missed him, is all. He’ll be back soon.

As you told yourself that, your cell began to buzz on the side table. Your friend groaned, smacking your hip to get you to shut it off. You grabbed you phone and muttered an apology to your friend before stepping out the bedroom with it. You squinted at the bright screen, your eyes quickly adjusting to see Namjoon’s contact name. You answered the phone so fast it was kind of pathetic. “Nam-”

“You’re up?!” His voice... ugh his voice! You loved the sound of his voice. It chimed in your head like wedding bells - dramatic to say the least seeing you spoke to him yesterday but... you missed him. God you missed him.

“Why do you sound surprised?”

“I didn’t think you’d be up!”

“So you called anyways? What if I was asleep?”

“Then you’d have to get up and answer my call.” You could just picture the smug grin on his face. You rolled your eyes and sighed. Namjoon laughed, “What? You wouldn’t get up for me?”

“No.”

“You’re a damn liar.” The two of you chuckle over the phone before silence fell. “[y/n].”

“Hmm?”

“Are you home right now?”

“Where else would I be?”

“At [y/f/n]’s house. You two practically live together.” 

“I don’t like that tone, mister. She’s the love of my life.”

“So what am I?”

“Just some random ass guy who keeps kissing me. I should probably report you to the police for sexual haras -”

“You talk to much, [y/n].” Namjoon with a half-hearted laugh. You smile, looking down at your feet. You missed his laugh, too. “Jagi.”

“Yes, Kim Namjoon?”

“Open the door.”

“What?”

“Unlock the door. I lost the keys.” As he said that, the sound of knocking came from the front door. You froze in place, your brows furrowed. “[y/n]? Are you going to leave me out here?” The sound of knocking came again. Your grip on your cellphone tightened, slowly making your way towards the front door. “Uhh... jagi?” You approached the door, removing the phone from your ears. “Jagiya?” You could hear his voice on the other side. You let in a sharp inhale, practically chucked the phone at the living room sofa and quickly unlocked the door. It swung open, revealing Namjoon, fist in the air about to knock on the door once more. He looked back at you wide eyed and confused. He opened his mouth to say something, but you never gave him the chance. Instead, you threw yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his waist and holding onto him tight. You took in his smell and buried yourself in his shirt. 

He held you close. He kissed your hair. You could feel his warmth. He made no effort to take things further or say another word, content with your proximity. You felt cared for. You felt wanted. You felt loved.

You felt him.

[vividly-insipid-99]

countering the "13 reasons why I dislike the show 13 reasons why" post

I saw this post titled “13 reasons why I dislike the show 13 reasons why” and it brought up some very valid points. However, I felt that the person was being misled by the show. So may I present to you 13 reasons (11 really, you’ll understand why) why 13 reasons why is not sending out a wrong message PS : I’ve jumbled up the order of the points for my convenience :3

1. The American Foundation of Suicide Prevention has specific guidelines on how to safely portray suicide without inadvertently causing more deaths, and the series blatantly disregards those guidelines in graphically showing Hannah slitting her wrists. This could literally result in more deaths by suicide, which is NOT OKAY.

8. The show provides no resources for those struggling with similar issues to Hannah, which again goes against the specific guidelines of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. It is not that hard to do research and find these guidelines, so it is clear that the creators of the show had little to no interest in taking advice from professionals or considering the potential negative impact they could have, which is honestly just disgusting.

I strongly agree with points 1. and 8. Though show deals with the aftermath of suicide, and is in no way obligated to train anyone to deal with suicide, the courteous thing to do would be to provide a few helpful resources in the credits. It raises awareness about the same but doesn’t provide instructions to proceed about how to prevent it, which is truly disappointing. In the book, Hannah swallows pills, which isn’t as graphical, but still doesn’t safely portray suicide. I’m still angry that care wasn’t taken to avoid the same. Moreover, I’m embarrassed to have not known that there was an American Foundation of suicide prevention, with strict guidelines as such.

It isn’t a perfect show, definitely being hyped much more than it should be, but it isn’t entirely flawed, and it definitely isn’t trying to send out a negative message, here’s why.

2. It glorifies suicide by making it seem like killing oneself and leaving tapes/a note/etc is the only way to effectively send a message to the world, when in fact, the opposite is true – the most effective way to send a message is to survive, thrive and tell one’s story.

It showed how everyone dealt with it in their own way. Some realized their mistake. Some denied what they’d done to her, even during the legal confession. Some(Alex) took it very personally and attempted suicide. It shows us the raw reality of the effect of Suicide on young adults

3. It simplifies suicide by making it seem like it is a direct result of bullying, sexual assault, etc. when in reality the issue is far more complex.

Clearly did not. Suicide is caused by a series of incidents that pile up and ultimately crash upon you. The string of events was portrayed. We’ve seen Hannah tough at the beginning though rumors about her spread around like a wildfire, at the very first week of a new school. Then we watch her slowly crumble, when something as meagre as not receiving those cartoons in her compliment box crushes her completely.

4. It conveys other characters as unhelpful and unsupportive when Hannah tries to reach out, which could discourage viewers from seeking help themselves.

5. It does not effectively address the subject of mental illness, which is a major component in the issue of suicide.

10. It is highly offensive to many people struggling with mental illness and suicidal ideation because it never really delves into Hannah’s character, or portrays her as having mental illness (a major factor in most suicides) - it just makes her seem dramatic and attention-seeking, which perpetuates stereotypes.

4.,5. and 10. seemed redundant. Suicidal thoughts can be caused due to an undiagnosed mental illness. If anything, I think it breaks the stereotype that one must be diagnosed with a serious mental illness in order to be qualified to commit suicide. Her friends, family and teachers clearly haven’t been educated about these illnesses and have thus failed to provide her with professional medical care. I’d like to believe that your schoolmates will try to help you if you reach out to them, just as much as the next person. It’s simply not true. The show brings to our attention how ignorant most adults and young are about mental illnesses, how lightly suicidal thoughts are treated and how these issues need to find a place in the mainstream education syllabus.

6. Hannah essentially blames others for her death, when in reality suicide is a choice made by those who commit it. Yes, things such as bullying and sexual assault can be a main factor in suicidal ideation and mental illness, but the decision to commit suicide is solely in the hands of the individual. Of course, that’s the theological explanation. I think it’s obvious to the viewers that she was solely responsible for committing suicide but everyone else(except Clay) contributed their fair share.

7. One of the characters justifies her self harm by saying “it’s what you do instead of killing yourself”, which simplifies and glorifies self harm by making it seem like a good “compromise” instead of suicide. The show tells us a story. It doesn’t intend to convey that every single human is able to face their problems and deal with them logically. Self harm is an issue that’s been stereotyped. However romanticized it may seem, people do cut themselves to distract themselves from mental trauma. It’s all about perspective. You could see this and decide to cut yourself to draw attention, or you could learn that there are people who do the same and that you should be more sensitive towards them.

9. The school counselor Hannah speaks to brushes off the clear signs of her being a suicide risk, which is literally against the law and not something any qualified professional would do.

Portrayal of how negligently school counselors are chosen(if they are, even)

11. It does not offer a healthy solution or way of coping with traumas such as bullying and assault - the only “solution” it offers is suicide, which, as mentioned previously, the show glamorizes and simplifies.

PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT THIS SHOW IS NOT A SELF HELP GUIDE TO ALL THOSE WHO ARE FEELING SUICIDAL. TEENAGERS AND CRITICAL THINKERS AND THOUGHTFUL WATCHERS. WE UNDERSTAND THAT HOW HANNAH COPES WITH HER PROBLEMS IS NOT THE WAY THAT WE MUST WITH OUR OWN That being said, the show makes us more aware of the way we treat people.

12. Hannah makes other people like Clay feel irreparably guilty for her death, which is cruel and inconsiderate, and not something most people who commit suicide would actually do. The show treats suicide as “the perfect revenge”, when in reality suicide is about feeling hopeless and sad and is a very personal decision.

Point well made. I strongly disagree with Tony’s statement of Clay causing her death. I’m even against how they showed that one clip of how things would be gone if Clay had stayed. Mr. Porter specially mentions that “You can’t love someone back to life” to which Clay replies, “you can try”. I call bs on this scene. It purely propagates romanticization of suicide. However keeping in mind that this is a story, not an instruction manual, I’m personally thankful that a character like Clay exists. He’s an accurate representation of those who’re constantly afraid of just being. From Hannah’s suicide, he learns to start afresh. He even talks to skye, after it all. He decides to put his past behind him, learn from the mistakes and grow which is ultimately a positive message. Note : I’m not in any twisted way trying to say that a suicide will teach us what Clay learned. I’m only saying that this was the case for him, and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how hard the circumstances or how dire the consequences.

13. As someone who has personally attempted suicide and knows the stories of countless others who have, I do not feel that the show accurately and fairly portrays the issue, or adequately addresses the main factors in suicide. To me and many others I have spoken to, it is downright offensive, lacking in research, and overall poorly done.

Again, as someone who has personally attempted suicide, I can tell you there is no clear cut reason to it. There’s is no accurate reason that drives you into committing suicide. There aren’t specific points to list out. One day, you look back and realize that multiple things over due course of time have gone miserably wrong. However, I believe sexual abuse here is a major one. New environment, an optimistic 16 year old. Mocked, offensive pictures and rumors developed within a week. Being excluded by those you thought you could trust. Body objectification that everyone assumes to be a compliment with barely anyone understanding how sensitive such issues are. Constantly being followed by someone you barely know, who could even pose as a potential threat. Again, having obscene rumors spread about you by someone you trust, in their self defense. . Classmates beginning to use you as baits, freely touching your body as they please, describing you with empty adjectives such as “easy” or “desperate”, making you feel like you have no say in it all. Your private and most intimate feelings being paraded over by someone you barely know, without consent and being broadcasted to wretched mongrels who fail to understand a deeper of meaning of anything at all. Being indirectly responsible for someone’s death, but too suffocated to be able to muster up the courage to say anything. Reaching the ultimate state of paranoia where you forget to trust even the ones who genuinely care about you. Helplessly witnessing a sexual abuse. Helplessly being a victim of sexual abuse. Trying to seek for help but failing to put your thoughts into words, finding communication ineffective and finding your own mind a dangerous place to live in, with no one to confide in. Are those enough “main factors” for you?

[averyxadeline]

I once saw a shirt that said “If you’re reading this, raise girls and boys the same way”. I googled that sentence today and all of the above were the only results I found.

If you’re reading this wear black or wear nothing. If you’re reading this I fucked your girl for some honeybuns. If you’re reading this you look like a muhfuckin uuuuuuuh. If you’re reading this give me head. If youre reading this thick thighs r life. If you’re reading this fuck you. 

if youre reading this wear black or wear nothing if youre reading this I fucked your girl for some honeybuns if you’re reading this you look like a muhfuckin uuuuuuuh if you’re reading this give me head if youre reading this thick thighs r life if youre reading this fuck you 

ifyourereadingthiswearblackorwearnothingIfyourereadingthisIfuckedyourgirlforsomehoneybunsIfyourereadingthisyoulooklikeamuhfuckinuuuuuuuhIfyourereadingthisgivemeheadIfyourereadingthisthickthighsrlifeIfyourereadingthisfuckyou

–

IFYOUREREADINGTHISWEARBLACKORWEARNOTHING

The girl is an idealistic, one that thrives in the atmosphere of the insulated and secure. Black is her soul but she has embraced it; dark lipstick, brazen hair, nose rings and brave words, sisters chant the war cry of a new era of gender triumph. But is there really equality on an island only populated by girls? The island is buried in a thick fog of ignorance of the mainland. Our cries are loud unto ourselves but are we really heard? If we do a rain dance and the storm does not hit, do we really suffer? Perhaps the world I’ve lived in thus far has been a utopia because I’ve surrounded myself with boys and girls alike who’ve shared my world views and my voice against a very hypothetical form of bigotry. When I am only hearing these loud cries, it is easy to assume everyone is shouting in unison, but in the dead of silence, the nefarious whispers begin to creep down your spin and flood into your veins like an old heart attack. Maybe I’ve overestimated boys I thought were my friends, boys who I assumed saw me as their equal, boys that I thought respected me. Because no friend tells another that she is any less because of her gender, because of her looks, because the course of study she has embarked on is all “floozy” and “feminized”. “What’s the point of studying Literature and the arts? You can’t fix anything!” I study Literature precisely because I am self-aware that I live in a world that is ignorant to the nuanced sphere of human emotions, I and many others am attempting to fix what you do not see. Yes, engineering, sciences, mathematics and computing have their value in fixing society, but the arts do not fix, they reconcile, they heal and they protect, specifically from the brutality of a mechanical world where everything has become entirely utilitarian (cue locomotive noise and let this aural discordance upset musical souls!). The thing is, yes, we won’t earn much and maybe we won’t even be employed easily, but that is not our agenda, we don’t have an agenda, it’s not about the money but a wholesome livid life. Yes, let’s laugh about how the FASS student cannot fix a sink,  or call her a “scrub” for not being able to understand mathematics well. But darling, I’d like to see you patch up those little holes of emptiness in your chest with a hammer and nails.

IFYOUREREADINGTHISIFUCKEDYOURGIRLFORSOMEHONEYBUNS

There is a humming in my ears and red strings bind my hands to his, but neither of us tied them. Ownership is a funny concept; I own this shirt because I bought it, I own this dog because I adopted her, I own this person because I love him/her. Because I love a boy, and because he loves me, the stars have aligned and we implicitly owe certain things to each other! The glittery pigments on my eyes are there akin to worship of him, the glorious tears that fall do so in his name, the slickness between my thighs are nothing but an ode to him. My body nothing but enslaved to him my idol? When he kisses my cheek, should it feel like a branding mark or love? Or both? Because I know in his eyes, it is love, but he has become the unknowing owner of this empty house and it is the world that deconstructs love with the politics of ownership that continues to build up walls. “How does your man let you out of the house wearing that? What does he think of that top? Did you dress of for him?” My body is no longer my own not because he demanded it, but because by the World’s gaze, love has become the defining mechanism of consent. That’s why marital rape isn’t “a real thing”, that why girls/boys who are raped by their significant other are assumed to have wanted it because they have before. So when I splurge my money on a 100 different lipsticks, it is so he might notice each and every colour. When I choose a pair of shoes, it’s not about convenience but whether they will risk making me taller than him. And when I wax it’s fully because he must believe that I am a hairless cat with the innocence unknown to all forms of natural female sexuality! Razors and too many variations of smudged red lipsticks have become the aesthetic of feminine ownership and I know that he does not expect me to shave for him or dress up for him, but what does is that everyone else does. “Your girl” has had her honeybuns stolen in the name of love and all its irony!

IFYOUREREADINGTHISYOULOOKLIKEAMUTHFUCKINUUUUUUUH

I look in the mirror, the depth of self-reflection spits back at me in horror. This face has become unknown territory; the nose ring I thought would express an edgy part of myself has deemed me a “bad girl”, the makeup caked on my face as an empowering attempt of feeling myself has labelled me as insecure, my natural chest and cleavage should not be exposed, and yet I am also not ‘womanly’ without it. The male gaze tastes like metal; the angry sort of tang you get from licking a rusty spoon, it spoils the flavor of anything you eat. I am the most stereotypical girl; I am everything you’d expect. I love clothes, makeup and arts, but most importantly I loved that I was comfortable loving these things. But when a boy insists that, “all girls only dress up for boys” and my own mother tells me that I shouldn’t wear certain things because I’ll, “scare boys off and look ugly to them“, I start tasting metal. The new metallic highlighter that I bought to compliment my skin tone disgusts me with its new ironized significance, I’m subtly afraid of wearing culottes in front of a guy who likes girls who wear them because I don’t want him to assume that I’m doing so for him and when I feel more self-conscious than confident when wearing red lipstick because I know someone is going to sexualize my libertarian choices and assume that I’m “trying hard”. Don’t get me wrong, boys are not the singular villain in this treachery, girls too ingest this patriarchal logic; they swallow it and spit it out at each other in the brazen tussle of femininity until it consumes everyone. Wave upon wave, femininity has indeed become a competition of who adheres most the hegemonic master text of what a girl must be. I look in the mirror and light pink is so drab against my lips but maybe boys will think I’m innocent! I look in the mirror and see a neon sign that screams, “YES” where my cleavage used to be. I look in the mirror and I realize that my eyes don’t work anymore, I am looking through someone else’s. I look in the mirror and I do not recognize myself.

IFYOUREREADINGTHISGIVEMEHEAD

Let me tell you a story about a young 14-year-old girl who did not understand love and suffered for it. A girl who just wanted to be loved by a boy at the wrong time and place and suffered because no one taught her better. A girl who liked a boy who convinced her that sending nudes was the only way he’d like her back. A girl who figured that this must be the natural path that romance takes because not one, but two boys demanded this from her. A girl who recognised harassment as a romantic pursuit because that’s what happens in movies. A girl who felt ashamed of her own body and responsible for a violation she had no control over. A girl who was afraid of talking to boys until she was 17 because at the back of her head, she assumed that this was the main agenda of all boys who befriended her. A girl who was wrong because someone set the wrong precedent. A girl who was given a second chance at love and realized that not all boys are sexual animals, but they still exist and sometimes we fall prey. I am an example, but I am not the whole story. Girls are getting touched and raped before they’re old enough to make sense of their own bodies, and it’s not just about rape but sexual harassment that has become normalized within a pop culture that begs one to, “send nudes” and makes memes out of it instead of addressing its travesty. America is seeing an epidemic of rape culture across college campuses and they’re still asking why. The infamous Dehli rape of Jyoti Singh was successful in raising awareness against rape culture but only because she was elevated as the “Nirbhaya”, the pure and fearless, only because her body was worthy in purity. But what about every other body? What every body from young rape victims to sex workers who face violence in the industry? The thing is, to not be seen as a sexual object, a girl has to be pure. But when she’s too pure, she’s a prude. The spaces that liberate female sexuality are growing smaller and smaller alongside the proliferation of this culture and these mindsets. A girl, like me, cannot survive a world like this.

IFYOUREREADINGTHISTHICKTHIGHSRLIFE

Dear boy who once tried to come off as the ‘nice guy’ by telling me you dance with fat girls in the club out of pity, did you think you owed her anything? Did you assume that her body that you deemed inferior was meant to be denigrated? Did you think that you did her a favour with your attention? Did you think she was in a club to validate her body? When the lights go down and the music is turned up, I bet you inched across that dance floor looking for someone to impress and you assumed that the fat girls would give you the time of the day because they have no better option? Check yourself. The girl is abundant, she is a blossom through which life flows, her body is a vessel to be celebrated for every curve and inch that is not yours to explore. It is not your place to deconstruct her colors and shapes. She is not yours to dismantle. The shape of her body does not define her self-worth, confidence and ability until it ‘becomes’ so in your eyes! The Kardashians will go on about thick thighs and body positivity, until anyone has thicker thighs than them. Rappers will sing of a woman’s curves unless they are on her waist and not her chest or butt. And boys will say that they’re accepting or any body shape until she threatens their ideal of beauty. Don’t get me wrong, yes some boys are perfectly accepting of a curvier woman, but that’s because their beauty ideals aren’t as narrow. But the real problem is not what men’s ideal women look like, but the fact that men still think it’s their place to validate a woman’s body or deconstruct it. Beauty can no longer be in the eyes of the beholder when that beholder is not worthy. When the lights go down and the music is turned up, let it be a celebration of every body on that dance floor in the perfect amalgamation of size, colour and gender.

IFYOUREREADINGTHISFUCKYOU

I have described at least 5 instances of sexism, some more personal than others but all of equal exigency. But the final instance is the most potent and deadly. It is the instance that has yet to come. It is the rebirth of all the above even after being educated and made aware of the very real genderized travesties that still exist today. The last instance is the ignorance of now. It is the blind eye that scoffs at this as another extremist liberal irrationality and continues to deny the silence the voice that they are screaming for. It is when we assume that in our own peaceful and idyllic contexts, we are untouchable and share no part in this fight. Don’t get me wrong, tis a battle but not one of a gender binary. It is not about boys against girls and vice versa, but collective humanity against a toxic mindset and culture. We can no longer be impartial; you have read this, you are reading this, now you know. Now you have no excuse. So I suppose that the real slogan of the t-shirt should be, “IF YOU’RE READING THIS AND YOU STILL DON’T CARE,

FUCK YOU.“

If You’re Reading This I once saw a shirt that said "If you're reading this, raise girls and boys the same way".