#i mean i got myself there but oh my GOD
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yes i’m sick to my stomach over a guy and it’s like kinda pathetic but also my nails are super fuckin long so.
#personal#i cannot believe we started talking again bc he saw my hinge active i literally just started talking to other people again#i mean i got myself there but oh my GOD#did i rush to go to therapy after my dad died no am i ripping through work papers to see if i start scheduling something asap#about this yes#i think honestly. i think it’s mainly the stomach and chest pains that get me#i just can’t settle#and like i don’t do great with internal pain either#you know what i haven’t had a nervous stomach ache in years but maybe it’s just a nervous stomach ache#cause when i remove how sick i feel on paper yeah it was the right move#or maybe it’s guilt/ sadness/ whatever other natural feeling after an event#or both#anyway yes nails stupid long and strong please god don’t take them bc i said that#my pointer on my right i think matches my left again bc she had to get trimmed some#but the right thumb is still short - growing and like half the length of the other
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alternate apocalypse ending or something who the hcrist knows anymore
#mcu#xmen movies#xmen#xmen apocalypse#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#almost posted this to the wrong blog omg i wouldve thrown up#this dumb as hell forgive me chat#unrelated i thought today was sunday but no it's. 4AM saturday THAT MEANS ITS CHERIK POSTING TIME#i thought of binning this like five times but ive convinced myself i like enough of this to keep it#at the very least im making myself chortle at the mini charles in the corner. like yeah that about summarizes it donnit#anyway the reason why we're here. highkey just wanted charles to grab his waist SORRY#and this was the first thing i thought of so. Apocalypse But Erik Directs The Ending jvlkeajl#my god i was gonna say something else but. i forgot#oh wait no i remember hold on. uhhh something something charles shouldve fought harder or whatever erik said in dofp#dofp IS before apocalypse i know this but it applicable. probably. im not gonna think bout it on whats essentially a shitpost#ok im sleeping now bye. ive got more doodles i wanna do but my god im sleepy. or at least i should sleep
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Not trying to start anything but is there a reason why you want Yuuji to have kept his injuries so badly? /gen
a ! part of it is the fact that I spent so long figuring out how I wanted to implement yuuji's scars into the way I draw him, n now to have had all that effort be for naught is salt in the non-existent wound :'> there were so many of them that I was pretty proud of myself when I settled on something I was happy with,,,, not to mention they looked so cool cries i was ROBBED
but even from a non-petty non-aesthetic standpoint i have some thoughts on why i think yuuji should have kept the scars. SPECIFICALLY the right eye injury. don't get me wrong megumi having the facial scars that echo sukuna's mask does look cool it's nice and angsty he looks good i do Like it. HOWEVER. i think from a narrative standpoint, to have Yuuji be the one to lose the right eye or have a significant scar in that spot would have been Better visual storytelling. Not only does yuuji spend more time as sukuna's vessel comparatively but Yuuji as sukuna's vessel n foil is SUCH a key plot point (mans literally says "you are me" like>?>??????????) n i feel like the scars n what they represent in that regard are better suited to him. family resemblance if u will.
ik this isn't rly taking into account megumi's torso scars but personally i got no beef with those I think they make sense. he was punched out of sukuna, obv that's gonna leave a mark . "but by that logic couldn't you make the same argument for why megumi keeps the facial scars?", I hear you ask. and to that i say you /could/ but imo megumi's torso scars also carry a symbolism that makes it Meaningful fr him to have them. i'm mostly thinking here about yuuji being better able to Suppress sukuna's true form whereas megumi Couldn't and him having to wear the reminder on his body as a result. at the end of the day though my main gripe really just boils down to the fact that not only does megumi end up with /more/ sukuna-related scars than yuuji, but Yuuji straight up loses /All/ of his. As far as we know he has none now and that's SUCH a shame imo.
I think if megumi were to keep the torso scars + slits where the second eyes used to be (+ some other misc LEFT SIDE facial scars from the fight w gojo and the jacob's ladder attack), with Yuuji instead being the one to sustain the main right eye injury as a visual reminder of sukuna, that would be ideal for Me. Have megumi be an echo of the body, have yuuji be an echo of the face. That way there's good symbolism - the size/placement of their marks better corresponds 2 the nature of the time they spent as vessels + the weight of their respective relationships with sukuna. simple, effective, matching angsty bfs. AND they get to look at themselves and each other and be riddled with intense soul crushing guilt!!!!!
anyway scarred!megu nation we won but scarred!yuuji nation suffered for it and i'm not going to take that slight lying down.
#answered#DID NOT MEAN TO YAP THAT MUCH GOMEN#i didnt realize how much i actually had to say#but then i got going and thought oh im Really pissed off abt this actually huh#once again gotta do everything myself in this household smh#god put me on this earth to draw and i am going to give my favourite characters the bodily trauma they deserve.#gege if youre listening thank u fr keeping them alive im not actually mad-mad im just salty pls don't do anything drastic#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers
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got carried away with a sketch and now i dont feel like finishing it properly <3
#ull look at this and say 'tf u mean its done???' and i say Lies. those are sketch lines and color blocks that i unfortunately started shadin#by the time i was adding subsurface scattering i realized it was too late. i run out of energy very quickly so im not gonna essentially do t#his Again yknow? not worth the effort this is nice enough as-is#unrelated to the pic but i finished book 6 tn and sobbed for 30 mins straight and idias horrors are so uncomfortably similar to me Help#god......i need to call my lil sister tomorrow. twst is ruining my life. why r all the ones i say 'just like me fr' so fucking awful and lam#idia?? leona?? azul????? throwing myself into the sun so i will dissolve and ignore this. at least i get deuce as well. hes my parttime son#oh wait this aint abt them this is abt sil seb. they got married when they were 4/5 seb proposed with a flower tied as a ring#ty for coming to my ted talk#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#silver vanrouge#<3#sebek zigvolt#silsebe#suntails
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Fuck it, posting the False-Martyn Secret Life body swap AU the distressed clowns cooked up in the copium lounge when it dropped.
Basically we wanted False in Life series soooooo bad and we wanted Renchanting soooooo bad and was like. Hey we can just make up our own stuff right. Hey what if body swap AU. So she could go to play Life series and Martyn could find Ren on Hermitcraft. Hey what if we just did that yeah.
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False is falling.
Well, she's falling, but she's doing it in a nonchalant way, and she's actually very confused about the whole thing, but she's trying not to show it.
"Do you know why you're here?" the Watchers seethe, their many voices echoing in the void.
False is unaffected by the Watchers. "Um, no? A bit of explaining would be appreciated, thank you."
"The Watchers are hungry," the Watchers continue. "Ravenous. Distressed. Depressed. Straight up delusional. We crave more blood. Drama. Stories."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever, but what does that have to do with me?"
"The Watchers want you. " A pause. "We've always had. Since like, 2021."
False blinks. "Oh. I'm… flattered?"
"Copium can only sustain us for so long," the Watchers continue grandly. "We're good at creating crumbs out of thin air, but we're at our limit now. We hold on until we can't anymore. So, please. We need you here."
False shrugs. She's still falling. "Sure. Why not? This seems fun. I'll join you in a heartbeat."
"… You seem unaffected by us. We're gods. We control the universe. We control you. We have interesting fanon portrayals. AND WE'RE MEANT TO BE SCARY!!"
"Dude, I'm literally falling into the void," False points out. "Voices aren't really scary compared to that."
"… You're an interesting one, False Symmetry."
"Charmed," False replies drily. "Anyways, where do I begin?"
The Watchers explain the rules to her and how she'll be sharing the body of another player. "Martyn. Hmm. Well, I guess that might as well happen," says False, who is on Tumblr and has probably Seen Things.
“By the way, he's somehow down to half of his hearts already."
False gasps, highly offended because she'll be starting out with a disadvantage. "Martyn's done WHAT NOW-"
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A confused Martyn wakes up inside the Hermitcraft server. Fortunately for him, the gears in his mind turn quickly. He picks up the communicator next to him and instantly understands the situation.
Ren: Falsie!! When are we gonna meet at the race? :D False: would 11 in the morning be ok? Ren: Yes!! See you there!! RD <3 <3 <3 :)
Martyn gasps dramatically. Is this what it feels like to have Ren answer your DMs?
#life series#secret life smp#technically#trafficblr#oh my god do i maintag#why are they both active on tumblr#also secret life premiere day devastated millions. by millions i mean the ten mutuals that i frantically dmed and we all wailed about it tg#took one look at the namelist and exiled myself to fuckass blue river raceways. been there. am there.#i got reminded of this bc i wanted to type false and it suggested falsemartyn 🤡 like damn wonder where that came from#symmetree#ria.fic#falsesymmetry#inthelittlewood#evil maintag BLAST
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Idk about anyone else but I had this growing fear during the Secret Sylvan gift exchange that Gorgug had pulled his own name and didn’t tell anyone.
It didn’t end up that way but man, would it have been funny
#the build up was there too bc Adaine and Fabian started off pulling each other#and then i don’t remember the order but it was like fig to Kristen and Kristen to Riz or something#and it got to Riz and I was like oh my god if he says gif then that means Gorgug got himself#how funny would that be tho. and like. it would be Gorgug wouldn’t it.#idk maybe junior year Gorgug would’ve spoken up but freshman year Gorgug would’ve been like no no it’s fine o uh got.. myself a present?#fantasy high#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy
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can i be honest. i am so over one piece posts because of oversaturation, i block the tag, but i will always visit your tumblr every so often because i love the idea and content of bepolaw so much. theyre so good and hot and wonderful. your content specifically. bepolaw real, even if idk jack shit about the series
anon's one piece:
maybe the real treasure were the bear best friends we kissed along the way
thank you so much for the message ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ makes me super happy that you check my stuff specifically and its an exception :)))))) thats very very nice ♥
#anonymous#oversaturation is real even to me and im a fan#used to be more invested in the wank and the whole community hype part of it#when i first got in it in 2014 (?)#because i love communities and i was dumber and wasted myself more on arguing and whining lol#i try to do less of that now#anyway#i returned now thanks to epic bepo chan crumbs but i catch myself returning to old habits#like getting mad at fucking posts#and im like oh my god.....this shit again. not going back to tha old me#like i see that tidal wave of bullshit#like opening reply section under a popular post and see all the screeching#and woah mama that makes me wanna RUN#and i dont mean just the ''dudebro'' (i dont use that term seriously anymore its crap) part of it#fujo side is not much better#bigger fandom more people more annoying people#it all scales up
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i have officially returned. ask me anything.
#random thoughts#i'll probably answer it tomorrow because i'm tired. i don't know why.#ciel if you see this i've been nicer to myself these past few days following your birthday. taking care of myself in general aspects.#which i sort of hate myself for but it's okay because. uh. i won't be like this forever. i'll be better at what i'm trying to do i promise.#new year's resolution is not fucking with me.........#oh also!! i've been sort of feeling like a dead person at times. and also like a cockroach. i have had to repeatedly tell myself that#i'm not dead i'm not dead!!!!#because i'm not. obviously. and i know i'm not. my brain is just silly. it likes to tell me i am things i am not like book characters.#and recently my mother got me my own rosary and we've been practicing praying together with my brother.#can you imagine how bad it must be for me to turn to christianity as a coping mechanism? not even when i was terrorized with death thoughts#not even in august for fuck's sake.#but it's actually not that bad. though i think i like the idea of organized religion more than i like being a part of it.#also i feel like my being catholic (mostly non-practicing) is betraying the queer community somehow. like. queer people have suffered#so much because of the christian church in general. so it's like. being christian is weird when i'm also queer.#but also then i feel weird when i try to do things in relation to christianity. like. put saint in my artist name.#that feels blasphemous i don't know. is it?????? it's not that serious either way but. augh.#i am going to write a song about this. also fellow christians is it okay to use the lyric 'uselessly clutching her rosary' or is that bad?#because i mean. technically. the she i'm referring to sort of is. because god isn't solving any of our problems.#he's just fucking. watching. if he's even real.#(and no my disappearance isn't related to the catholicism thing it's something else. as in the one thing i haven't told anyone else but cie#and an irl friend. if you are ciel then i am completely open to talking about said thing.#otherwise i will continue to drop cryptic little notes on my blog because I AM SILLY. {: )#going to play roblox now and maybe say hello to you fuckers on discord for a bit of fun. goodbye.
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grief will have you saying shit like goddamn and fuck maybe the abuse was worth it
#ive made this post before i just cant find it and it’s all im feeling rn#god i miss my parents so fucking much even though they were the cause of SO MANY of my problems that idk if i’ll ever heal from#but navigating life w this grief and without their support- however little it was- feels like hell#but the abuse felt like hell too.#ive said it before but i was JUST getting to a place where i felt i could stand up for myself and knock down thwir shit a few pegs. or at#least become more resistant to it#i saw a future with them in it for the first time in my LIFE#and it was bc i’d done SO MUCH FUCKING WORK. and now i feel like it was all so fucking useless#it’d be easier if i was still in the phase of anger i was at like 19#but i’d processed that quite a bit and was trying to move on#FUCK. i had made SO much goddamn progress right before my mom got sick#then everything went down the toilet cus i cannot fucking have anything#it’s so unfair. i wish i could at least redo the last 3 years of my life#i would’ve done things so much different but i was so traumatized and still so angry and bitter and trying to preserve myself#ive come to the realization tjat the person i am today did not exist back then and therefore i shouldnt beat myself up bc it literally wasnt#available to me. i couldnt have done anythimg different bc i was in such a state of survival#and truthfully ive grown a lot since then even if im still in the trenches#the timeline of my entire life has been so fucking unfair#and i dont know how to reconcile any of it i dont know how to cope with my worst fears coming true#and i mean worst fears. even the way they passed. spot on to my worst fears#i despised what they did to me but i still didnt see life without them until i was at least 30#it was all so sudden and quick and shocking#yeah they were horrible parents but i was a horrible kid too. maybe i straight up just deserved that shit#and i’d go back to that and seeing a future with them in an instant#over this bullshit#it’s so hard. and then losing all my pets too at the SAME TIME. all my babies#everything that i loved ripped away from me in the span of MONTHS#it’s all too much. l oh fucking l. no wonder im 3 shots deep at fucking 3 pm#it just hurts so bad. so fucking bad.
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damn... kinda mad i didn't die in my dream last night... could've added another method to the list
#all that 'oh god im gonna die' dream stress for Nothing smh#got stabbed... i mean it was kinda my own damn fault but also was it? was it.#it was absolutely fault when the blade had to be removed but yk. didnt die so it was whatever#shaking a fist at last night's dream like COWARD!!!#what was Interesting though was upon waking up#i was still kinda dozing and i held my position#and i was very careful moving as to not jostle the knife. Not Realizing Yet. that that was a dream and was now awake#there is no knife in ba sing se#but damn. gnarly#usually i dont have to go through the whole 'coming to terms with my imminent demise' in these sort'a dreams#its typically Fast#the longest dream-death ive ever had was that one where i got shot#but even that wasnt That long#its just that the others are usually immediate. and non-wound based#absolutely unprompted#sorry to dream post but Hey tumblr blog is my personal diary. To Me <3#its weird tho that this is the second time ive had a death or death-adjacent dream#where i woke up convinced that it was Real#knife wound.... legit asking myself if im dead after another... fun stuff!#these dreams are very interesting. in a morbid way i enjoy them
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not my photos but this is when i fell for him chat ngl (i didnt ss at the time cause i was uncool and ungamer
#squish the goober#twirls hair and giggles#god#no dude i like to say “oh this is my type!” and show big burly men but#those are like sub type#i like twinks#skinny and skrwanny#turns away in shame#toes dragging in the dirt#and when i say twink i say that with a grain of salt#i rlly just like em skinny and skrwanny and mean JDBNCJAN#esp astarion#also guess who got a diamond achivement yesterday for doing the squid#THIS GUY !!!#baldur's gate 3#baldurs gate astarion#astarion#sighs dreamily#ew gross thats cringe#my next playthrough im doing dark urge#and instead of like new oc i jus did me fr#mostly cause whenever i have any type of game that has customs like this you know DAMN well im making myself at least once#my guardian is big giant drow woman#for my current char (miz'ri) its just a dwarf DJNJCA#i made myself an wood elf cause despite how much i actually dislike elves ik damn well my ass would be one
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i feel like there must be a gold mine of yo-kai watch stuff that my moms bought and then never actually gave to me.
i have this now-
#puppy rambles#yo-kai watch#it's just a novelization of the first anime episode meant for. level 2 readers i guess. whatever that means-#my yo-kai watch collection is growing without me even doing anything i haven't bought anything but the games#okay that's a lie i did buy my jibanyan and rudy plushies. but other than that-#i have the jibanyan baddinyan n robonyan medal moments figures courtesy of my moms buying them years ago#when dollar tree sold yo-kai watch stuff (i miss those days)#that one jibanyan feature you can pose and change the expression of with stickers also courtesy of dollar tree#a bunch of medals courtesy of blind bags i got for my birthday and also a yo-kai watch that i got at the same time#i have a komasan figure that's like the jibanyan one somewhere. and a jibanyan figure you can switch to baddinyan. also from dollar tree#oh i have a komajiro medal moments figure from one of my elementary school friends who liked yo-kai watch. okay we weren't really friends#we were kinda friends. we mostly just bonded over liking yo-kai watch and never talked beyond that-#god i miss those days 😔#oh right i also bought the manga volumes i have myself. still need the others. should probably put them on my wishlist#anyways. yea i didn't buy 90% of my yo-kai watch merchandise-#also those medal blind bags basically just got me a bunch of snotsolong. i got like five. i got a lot of other stuff too#but i have so many snotsolongs. five different snotsolong wanted to be my friend i guess-#i have no use for the yo-kai watch tbh. it's way too loud 😔#cool to have tho
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Please save me, I'm reading a reddit thread about Seb vs Max(bcs Tost said he thought Seb would win out), and none of these people know how good Seb was in his prime
#the fucking ignorance in this thread im gonna shoot myself#theyre like:oh he barely won 2010 and 2012#uhhhhh you mean two of the most competitive seasons in history?????????#2010: literally had 5 championship contenders for a while and then still 4 for the closer#^ also tbh its super impressive to me that he was never leading the wdc and still managed to pull it off at the last moment#and 2012 which is regarded as one of if not the best seasons of all time in which there were six different winners in the first six races#i cannot fucking believe i jsut saw a comment basically seb is not as aggressive as max#saying he doesnt have the samw 'step on their neck' mentality as Max does#uh what??????????? im sorry but seb was one of the most ruthless drivers ever and was way more of an asshole abt it. multi-21??????#but fuck. these people dont know him and his wdc years at all 😭😭#still has the record for most poles in a season. is still the youngest wdc and polesitter#got pole and won a race in his 1 ½ season IN AN STR before rbr could even try pulling that off#it just really sucks to me how his flop years have ruined his reputation for some people#yeah ofc he kinda fell off in the latter years of ferrari and amr but that doesnt erase all of his incredible performance in the prior yrs??#like please i beg of you go watch the rbr era years and you will be impressed istg#another stupid argument was saying 'oh he made too many mistakes in 2009 and lost a wdc he couldve won'#first of all that was only his 2½ season and his first season in a top team#and also not all of his dnfs and crashes in that ssn were his fault :/ the car wasnt the most reliable :/#i love max and i think hes probably one of the goats but my god the regency bias is insane#^ and alongside that. oh you point out all Seb's mistakes but completely ignore when max was called the crash kid?? 😭😭#like saying seb lost 2009 due to rookie mistakes...YEAH CAUSE HE WAS ONLY IN HIS 2½ YEAR AS A 21/22 YR OLD#also I think its impossible anyways to say who would win that matchup bcs theyre in completely different eras#seb dominated that v8 era and max dominates this current era. its truly impossible to say bcs they mastered completely dif cars#like whu cant we just say both of them are pretty damn fantastic as rbr golden boys??#anyways. fuck im so irritated right now. this is an affront to my spirit!!!#its really just: say you dont know seb without saying you dont know seb#catie.rambling.txt
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an outlaw tweekee for u <3
WHATAGT OHBYYM GOODD IM!! RIVER YOU CANT JUST ATATCK ME LIEK THIS 😭 ILLYYY🥺🥺 /POS
#ask it like you mean it#rivozara#south park#Tweek tweak#AAUAGH RIVER IM#IM GRABBIYN YUU AND SHAKRING YOU RN (AFFECTIONATE)#HESSPERDEDT#LIL DIRTY GUY#A DIRTY GUY#shakingnghn oh myh godsh#got me stimming my lil heART OUT EHAT#hesso cute I’m gonna die I can’t- AUGH LOOK AT HIM#he’s shaking but he’s got his thumbs up he’s smiling he’s got lil heARTS#imfiflled im so filed with power rn oh my godhsh tbis made my dAYY 😭😭#gently holds him… holding him so gently he’s a little guyyyy AAGH#ILYYYSM 🥰💖🥺 I CANANT AUGH#I. I prommy you that when I rbed that post I wasn’t asking forr art or anthyhgin but 😭 but you did somethin anyway I 🥺 i love him thansk you#thank you so muchhh 😭 I’m gonna be thinking ab him all day I’m off to change some of my website icons!! 🏃🏻#I had to go and make a heart emoji South Park reaction image bc of how much feeling this gave me oh my gOSH you literally made me act like#the Kyle on the right- I couldn’t find the perfect one I had to do it myself— river oh my god ily I’m kissing you rn I hope you can feel it🥹#fav#BIG FAV
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My ass got absolutely destroyed out there by team present. We definitely didn't win because of me akdbsjshdg :D but still it was tons of fun!!
#splatoon#didn't expect that tbh#to win I mean#because my GODS was team present taking this seriously!#got almost 60% of the votes too :D#oh also I was pretty shit this splatfest lol like I told myself I'd start playing again a few days before so I can get into it again and#actually play my weapon good instead of constantly fucking up after months of not playing. but I didn't. and my aim was fucked lmfao#rains rants#sorry to everyone in my team because I was NOT a good charger lol#grandfest
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I actually feel so sick to my stomach trying to decide between this Free People job and the one I currently have why does the current one have to pay so fucking well and Free People have to pay so fucking bad
#none of this is that deep they’re both temporary seasonal jobs as far as I’m concerned#but I’m so bored at the current job because I just have nothing in common w anyone who works there#the work days are very long and I’m a full time employee#this is my last holiday season in nyc and it’s kind of killing me a little that I’m spending it all day every day in this store#and again they pay SO WELL it’s sick I can do whatever I want within reason and not worry about what I’m spending#but I’m just not ENJOYING my life rn and I’m kinda not used to that#there’s so much this time of year in terms of Life Happening#and I’m destined to miss that by nature of this being full time and the long days#meanwhile Free People is a $7/ hour difference#($7/hour less I mean)#and also the diff between penny pinching for a while and not caring#but also I would have free time#and also it’s a great vibe#not that there’s anything even WRONG with the vibe at the current job it’s just#it’s just not doing anything FOR me and when I’ve got no free time that’s not excellent#and yeah it’s apparently very easy to get coverage if something comes up and I don’t wanna go in (friends hanging out and don’t wanna miss-#it etc)#and conversely also very easy to pick up hours if I want to work more#less set in stone you know#I’ll have TIME to figure my Etsy back out if I want I’ll have TIME to figure out wtf I’m doing with myself etc etc etc#but yeah between now and Christmas it’s literally like a $2000 difference so idk idk idk idk idk idk idk#oh also this is stupid but the place I currently work is so insanely busy and such an insanely small space#I am mildly concerned about Covid and my long COVID getting even WORSE etc. feels paranoid and dumb I guess but like idk#I had surgery on my fucking nose to fix long Covid and it’s still not fixed so it’s something I worry about#god if my fucking Etsy still existed it’d be a no brainer#I applied for these jobs to have something fun to do in my spare time#and now I can’t do the fun job I actually wanted#UGH UGH UGH
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