#i love love love this series

[javierpenaisapunk]

What if it’s a secret third option: I hate the government and whenever something goes on I blame it on them and this time it turned out to be right

Chapter 26 - The Ghosts of Babylon

Series Chapter Index | Read on AO3 | Complete

Rating: Explicit, 18+, here be smut and violence Series tags: Joel Miller x You, Joel Miller x Reader, Joel & Ellie, mostly follows canon, LGBTQ+ characters, y/n is bi/pan, y/n is ~45, violence, pregnancy, abortion, medical trauma, emotional trauma, panic attacks, sex work, suicide, smut, slow burn, angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, romance, no use of y/n, reader has longish hair, Joel can lift you, smallish age gap (~11 years), I've probably forgotten some so please let me know <3

~*~

Jackson, Wyoming November 2026

“That’s great, Maria, you’re doing great. One more big push…”

“C’mon, baby,” you hear Tommy say from the head of the bed, where he’s holding Maria’s hand. “Hear that? You’re doin’ so good.”

“Fuck you, Tommy,” she spits, and you’re glad your mask hides your smile. It’s been a long night.

“I know you don’t mean that sugar,” he says.

Maria makes a feral growl as you press on her perineum, trying to ease the baby’s head out without tearing. Then she lets out a roar and bears down hard.

“Keep going, that’s it,” you murmur. Your hands are slippery around the crown of the baby’s head as it slowly emerges. You stabilize the neck and check for the cord; it’s clear. “Head’s out, one more push.”

The baby’s shoulders ease into your hands, and the rest follows, slick and covered in vernix, tiny arms flailing. A girl. You rub her back firmly, encouraging her to breathe, and she lets out an angry wail in response. Her skin warms under your touch, and you breathe a silent sigh of relief. This was an easy one.

“That’s my girl!” Tommy whoops over Maria’s tired panting as you lift the baby and place her on her mother’s abdomen. You cover the baby with a warmed blanket, encouraging Maria to keep rubbing her tiny back while Tommy cuts the cord.

~*~

You leave the Miller house once Maria and the baby are settled in, with promises to relay the good news. You walk to the end of the cul-de-sac in the faint gray glow of a late fall morning, wincing at the twinge in your ankle. You still walk with a limp. On cold days like this, you’d prefer the stability of your cane, but it’s back at the clinic.

Joel’s living room is littered with toys, board books, and an upturned sippy cup. There are sticky fingerprints on the coffee table and remnants of what looks like oatmeal in the sink.

Joel himself looks just as ragged as the house, lying flat on the couch with Gwen on his chest, both of them sound asleep.

You kneel next to them, planting a kiss on his forehead, gently stroking the toddler’s dark brown curls. “Hey, sleepyheads.”

Joel’s eyes blink open slowly.

“You have a niece,” you whisper into his hair. 

“Mmm,” he growls softly, rubbing Gwen’s back. “She wouldn’t sleep in the damn crib. Told Tommy he’s spoilin’ her.”

You smirk. “As if you wouldn’t do the same. And you have another niece.”

“Huh? Ohhh,” he says, grinning sleepily. “Hear that kid? You’ve got a little sister.”

Gwen doesn’t stir, unbothered by this new development for the time being. Joel’s eyes drift shut as he asks, “How’d it go?”

“Maria’s fine, baby’s fine…Tommy’s ecstatic.”

“Millers make good girls,” he murmurs. 

“Mmm. Ellie asleep?”

“At a friend’s. Thought she was gonna help me with this one,” he looks down at Gwen, “but she bailed on me.”

“Looks like you managed…barely,” you say, eyeing the room. It’s amazing how much damage one toddler can do in the span of a few hours. “You should get up,” you say, standing, nodding at the couch. “Your back is going to feel that.”

He shifts, sitting up with a muted groan. Gwen makes a soft whining sound at the disturbance, and he shushes her as he gets to his feet, gently rocking until she’s settled.

You follow them upstairs to his bedroom where the portable crib is set up in the corner. Joel nuzzles the crown of Gwen’s head before gently laying her on her tummy. She fusses a little, but his large hand rests across her back, rubbing up and down until she’s soothed back to sleep.

“Like defusing a damn bomb,” he mutters when he sees you watching, but his eyes are soft. He stands, stretching, wincing. You’re right; his back is going to feel it.

You take a shower in the bathroom down the hall so you don’t wake the baby, throwing one of Joel’s old tees on as a nightshirt before tiptoeing back to the bedroom. Joel is already under the covers. You slide in behind him, wrapping an arm around his torso, hand coming up to rest on his broad, naked chest.

“Mmm,” he rumbles, reaching behind you, giving your ass a light squeeze. “Missed you.”

“I have to be at the clinic in two hours,” you yawn, already drifting.

“I can do a lot in two hours,” he says, muffled by the pillow.

You smile, nuzzling against his back. “Not with the kid here, Miller. Go back to sleep.”

~*~

Your reentry was as smooth as it could be under the circumstances.

You were separated from Joel and debriefed for three days. It was not the relaxed process that welcomed you to Jackson the first time, but they didn’t kick you out on your ass, at least. You were reaccepted under probationary terms, to be guarded for six months and prohibited from working in the clinic without Eric or a nurse at your side.

You were allowed to keep your house, but it had been swept of all but the essentials–even the previous owner’s junk had been cleaned out of the attic, along with the radio. You were assigned a roommate who slept in the spare bedroom and made regular reports to the council.

The restrictions drudged up your shame, a thick cloak weighing heavy on your shoulders. You reminded yourself it was fair and temporary, and tried to focus on your work, but more than once you found yourself unable to get out of bed. On the worst days, Joel somehow found his way to your side–sometimes with Ellie and a movie, always with food–and gave you a reason to try to keep going.

Jackson had not fallen to FEDRA, but things had changed in the time you’d been gone. Throughout your probation, you learned FEDRA had sent swarms of infected to Wyoming, but the town was ready to defend itself. It turns out there were more former Fireflies in the community than you’d guessed–including Theresa and Tommy. And while they weren’t actively looking for trouble, they had connections that made it easier to stockpile weapons of the explosive variety. So that’s what they’d done, secretly hoarded enough firepower to take out a small city, enough to leave blackened trenches of undead and FEDRA soldiers in wide swaths of the surrounding countryside.

They’d taken the information you gave them and sent patrols to take out as many of FEDRA’s outposts as they could reach and put a couple of workers on round-the-clock radio monitoring. They also stopped accepting newcomers, blaming the change on the increased presence of infected outside the walls, but you secretly wondered if it was to keep out more people like you.

There had been losses, too. Half a dozen citizens had fallen to the infected during the weeks and months you were gone, a heartbreaking record. Jackson’s sense of safety was shaken, and it was obvious in the drawn looks on people’s faces, the haggardness in their eyes.

You still couldn’t help but blame yourself, even though you understood intellectually it was a thing that was bound to happen. They had gone soft in a world that had no use for gentleness; careless, almost reckless in their belief that isolation would protect them forever.

But the walls still stood, and its citizens moved about within them, and you made yourself a home again, even if you didn’t always feel like you deserved it.

~*~

You blink awake in Joel’s bed, fuzzy and dry-mouthed and strangely…rested. The sun is high in the sky and blazing through the bedroom’s big windows, which can only mean one thing.

Shit.

You bolt upright, looking at the clock; you should have been at work hours ago. You groan, grabbing the walkie from the bedside table and pressing the button to talk.

“Eric, you there?”

“Mornin’, sleeping beauty. Or, I guess it’s afternoon…”

A rich Texan accent, definitely not Eric’s. You feel a deep blush creeping up your neck.

“Christ, Miller, the whole town can hear you,” you mutter into the mic. “Get off the comms.”

A warm, honeyed chuckle through the speakers. “We’re at Tommy’s. Come over when you’re decent. Out.”

Dick, you think, but your lips curl in a smile.

Eric’s voice warbles in your ear a few seconds later. “I’ve got a handle on things over here. See you first thing tomorrow. Out.”

You dress, throwing on some of the clothes you’ve started keeping at Joel’s place for days like this. Downstairs, the house has been pieced back together, an overflowing basket of toys and books pushed to one side of the room, dishes drying next to the sink. Joel must have the day off, a special dispensation to welcome the new family member.

You flush a little when you realize you have the day off, too.

Tommy and Maria’s place is just across the street. You let yourself in and hear conversation upstairs, Ellie’s wry little cackle.

“It’s just me,” you call up the stairs.

“C’mon up!”

They’re all crowded in the bedroom, Maria sitting up against the headboard with little Gwen’s arms wrapped tightly around her neck, Tommy perched next to her on the edge of the bed.

“Hey, mom. How are we feeling?”

You can’t help it; you slip into doctor mode, eying her complexion, barely resisting the urge to reach out and feel her forehead for a temperature, alert for signs of postpartum infection.

“We’re good,” she murmurs, rubbing Gwen’s back. “Someone’s feeling a little clingy.”

“Yeah, it’s Joel,” Ellie chirps from the other side of the room. “He’s hogging the baby.”

Maria smiles up at you wryly and shrugs.

“How’s the bleedi–”

“You’re off duty, doc,” she says immediately, shooting you a look that says she won’t be discussing the state of her uterus with her brother-in-law in the room.

The brother-in-law in question is sitting in the rocker-glider holding the new addition. Ellie is perched on the arm of the chair next to him, poking at the baby’s tiny fist with her finger.

“Right, off duty,” you murmur, suddenly feeling out of place. Joel nudges an ottoman toward you with his foot.

“Come meet the new kid,” he says.

“Oh, we’ve met,” you say, taking a seat. “ Someone kept us up all night.”

Joel holds the newborn’s head in his cupped palms, her body cradled along the length of his forearms. She barely reaches his elbows this way, tiny legs and arms scrunched up like a frog’s. One little fist curls itself against her mouth, while the other wraps itself around Ellie’s index finger and holds tight.

“My turn, old man,” Ellie says, holding out her hands for the infant. Joel places the baby in her arms, muttering something about supporting her head, and Ellie sighs. “Yeah, yeah, I know.”

His eyes soften as he watches his daughter.

“I forgot how small they are,” she says after a time, looking over at Gwen, who is babbling animatedly about something to her mom and dad.

“They grow fast,” Joel says. One big thumb reaches out to stroke the tiny shell of an ear, and for a moment, the new baby’s dark gray eyes blink open.

“There she is,” he whispers, and the smile on his face is so tender, it hurts. You wonder if he’s thinking of Sarah, and then you know he is because his eyes are shining.

“Not this again,” Ellie says good-naturedly, leaning in to prop her chin on Joel’s shoulder. “You’re such a fuckin’ sap.”

“Fuh-kinsap?” Gwen’s little voice pipes up.

“Ellie!” three voices sound in unison as the girl’s eyes widen. There’s a stunned silence, then the room bursts into laughter, startling the new baby with the noise. She lets out a breathy wail to complain, little limbs flailing, and Gwen, still attached to her mother like a barnacle, starts whimpering in sympathy.

You stand, quietly relieved to have a good reason to break up the party. “Let’s clear out. Mom and baby need to rest. Doctor’s orders.”

~*~

When the rest of the family has cleared the room, Tommy with Gwen and Joel with Ellie, you’re alone with Maria and the baby at her breast. She sags a bit, drawing into herself as she encourages the newborn to suckle. You busy yourself with taking vitals, fetching a glass of water, and sending a quiet message over the walkie letting the nurse on duty know she doesn’t have to check in this afternoon.

“Is she latching okay?” you ask, unwrapping the blood pressure cuff from Maria’s upper arm, taking notes on a pad of paper next to the bed.

“Yes.”

“Have you been able to urinate?”

“Yes.”

“Any cramping?”

“Yes,” Maria winces, rubbing at her lower abdomen.

“How about the bleeding? It might be heavy, but anything more than a pad every two hours and you need to–”

You stop when you glance up and find Maria looking at you with tired eyes, wan and half asleep.

“Sorry,” you breathe, smiling a little. “Force of habit. I know you’ve done this before.”

“It’s okay,” Maria says softly. “It’s different every time.” 

You take a seat next to the bed. “So…how are you feeling?” 

She meets your eyes, sizing you up before giving a tired sigh. “A little overwhelmed, to tell you the truth. Gwen is still so young…this one was a surprise.”

“Ahh.” There have been several “surprises” in Jackson since you returned, although you’re treating fewer pregnancies now. You take a small measure of pride in that. “Well, we can help prevent future surprises, if you want.”

“I know. I’ll take you up on that.”

“Does she have a name?”

“Not yet,” Maria says, gently tracing the little girl’s nose with one finger. “Tommy wants to…talk to Joel.”

“Oh?” You cock your head. Then as it dawns on you, “ Oh. ”

“For a middle name,” she clarifies. The baby has fallen asleep; Maria lifts her to her shoulder and rubs her back, watching as if searching for a clue in her tiny face. “But we’re thinking…maybe Isabel.”

Isabel Sarah Miller.

“That’s beautiful,” you murmur.

“Hmm,” Maria says, then yawns.

You take the hint. “I’ll let you get some rest. We’ll send a nurse over later tonight, but I have the walkie. Have Tommy call if you need anything.”

~*~

Downstairs, you peek into the living room and find Tommy sprawled on the couch, snoring, with Gwen sleeping on top of him, the spitting image of his older brother only a few hours ago.

You slowly back out of the room and make your way down the hall to the kitchen, following the sounds of running water, soft conversation, and the clink of dishes. Joel and Ellie are standing at the sink; he washes, she dries, and they’re laughing at something.

You watch their comfortable way with each other. You wonder if she’s forgiven him; you wonder if he’s forgiven himself. And you think maybe, maybe , because things seem easier, if not easy, between them.

Her nightmares are less frequent, and you know she and Joel have talked about turning the garage into a separate bedroom to give her more privacy. She’ll be 17 soon, and he’s getting better at letting her go.

Whether you can forgive yourself…that’s still an open question with fangs and claws. You wonder if you will ever feel like you fit here–in Jackson, with Joel and Ellie, with their family.

As if hearing your thoughts, Joel looks over his shoulder and sees you. “Hey, everything alright?”

“All good. Need help?”

“We’re almost done. There’s food in the fridge if you wanna put something in.”

You open the refrigerator to a rainbow of casserole dishes covered in foil; the community obviously rallied. The Millers won’t need to leave the house to eat for a month.

You pick out a square pan with what looks like lasagna and set it aside for dinner, then begin pulling out the rest of the dishes, investigating their contents, and roughly planning a schedule of meals. There’s too much food, but some can be frozen for later.

Too much food. What a concept.

When the lasagna is baking in the oven and Joel is wiping out the sink, Ellie says, “Shit, I gotta go. Told Dina I’d meet her after school and I’m like two hours late.”

“Alright,” Joel says. “Be back by curfew this time.”

“Maybe.”

“Ellie–I mean it. Eleven. Not 11:03, not midnight. Eleven .”

“I know, I know,” she frowns exaggeratedly and throws him a mock salute. “Eleven it is, captain.”

She moves to the door, then hesitates and turns back, catching Joel by the side in a rare and unexpected hug. You meet his eyes over the top of her head as they go wide with surprise, then soft.

“Later, kid.”

“G’bye.”

“She’s right,” he mutters when she’s gone, swiping at his eyes. “I’m a sap.”

“The sappiest sap,” you agree, but you’re talking past a lump in your throat. Today has been too much. You move in to take her place at his side and his grip on you is fierce.

~*~

You put together two dinner plates with the lasagna and some greens you find in the crisper, then cover them and put them in the fridge, deciding to let the new-again parents sleep while they can.

It’s dark when you and Joel creep out of the house. His arm locks around yours on your weak side to steady you, something he’s taken to doing any time you walk together.

“Ellie started cleaning out the garage. Going to move her out there in the spring, when it’s warmer. Should have the summer to get it insulated.”

“You’re going to have an empty nest,” you tease.

“Not if Tommy and Maria keep goin’ like they’re goin’,” he says gruffly. “Could open a damn daycare.”

“You love it.”

He scowls, but a smile peeks out from underneath.

You stop outside his house and follow his gaze upward to a clear black sky and a million stars. He swallows hard and looks at you with such longing, for one unbearable moment you think he’s going to say the words you never say–or do something even more preposterous, like propose.

“So, uh…I was thinkin’...since Ellie’s moving out…this place is too big for just me.”

“Oh, really?”

“Mmhmm. Put so much work into it an’ all…hate to just leave it…”

Relief billows and pools inside you, and you sag against him. “Sounds like you need a roommate.”

“I…thought about that. Might even have someone in mind.”

You cluck your tongue. “They’d have to be a very special kind of person to put up with you.”

He growls in the back of his throat, and gently pulls you around to face him.

“It’s further from the clinic,” you frown, trailing a finger down the front of his shirt.

Joel snorts. “Yeah, ‘cause that whole extra block’s a real bitch.”

“Sarcasm does not become you, Miller.”

“Hey,” his voice softens, and he tips your chin up in the crook of his finger. He’s searching your face, hoping to find it–the silent thing that says he is yours, and you are his, even if you are both too broken to say it.

“I think…we could make it work,” you say softly.

“Really?” he smiles, all relief and wonder and stars in his eyes. “You do?”

He’s looking at you with a tenderness you can hardly bear, but you don’t look away. He ducks his head until your warm breath mingles in soft white clouds between you.

“Nothing serious, right?” you whisper, before his mouth slants over yours and his words are lost to the softness of your lips.

“Nothin’ serious.”

~*~

The end. <3

If you made it this far, thank you for reading. Your comments/likes/kudos are EVERYTHING. :)

[imjustavenuxwithaboomerang]

finished the eps so here's some zombies lore and tidbits from the re-animated series:

bonzo and willa have the same shoe size (10 3/4 in men's and 12 3/4 in women's)

bucky loves cool frogs and hates all dogs (except for barky)

willa has been wearing the same boots every day because she became the alpha of their pack while wearing them (they are now destroyed)

bree runs the lost and found department and addison is her secretary

seabrook high has a drama department, a marching band, a water polo team, and a clown club

there are zed, addison, and eliza clones living in a neighboring town

there are alien-specific classes led by a computer robot in the mothership

zed has physical cards with drawings of him and eliza that act as "best friend cards"

bonzo was born on january 28th in 2007

zed and addison regularly use whiteboards to plan stuff

zed has a habit of smooth-talking his way out of and into things (including, but not limited to, getting extra food from lunch ladies, convincing eliza and addie to do things with/for him, and convincing a possessed dae to hold off on destroying the world)

there is a sentient blob that attends seabrook high

bonzo works at bree's family diner which is called grammykin's griddle

wyatt's a february pisces and eliza is a virgo

the werewolves celebrate numerous meat-themed holidays like porksgiving, beefapalooza, and vealentine's day

werewolves also have a great meat hunt that involves one werewolf being picked to hunt an unchecked apex predator in the woods and bring it back for the pack to eat

there are now zombie dogs due to another soda incident

principal lee has a sister who is pregnant (or has a very young baby)

wynter has an uncle named uncle wolfchowski

zed's favorite color is decomp green with light saturation

coach used to be best friends with the solstice slasher that haunts the woods

zombie strength can hold back a moving car

there are many pet sitting services in seabrook (some names include waggedy ann's, be on all four seasons, and harry poopins)

eliza created their universe's version of tik tok called shrimp tok

addison can't wink

moonstone necklaces were first created by a werewolf named wilhelmina lykenlolly

werewolves and sasquatches are century long enemies

eliza and wyatt are vegetarians

zed, wyatt, bree, and eliza play dungeons and dragons together and zed runs the campaign (zoey now also plays with them by the end of the episode)

aliens hatch out of spotted eggs and have a hatch-uation

a-spen is mothership's favorite alien

part 2

[cactus-chowder]

here's some hell's paradise people

[kensatou]

those!!! are!!! his!!!! tits!!! be gentle 👉👈

[mo-mode]

“But what does Grover bring to the table? He’s just the comedy relief character.” Grover is juggling the role of babysitter, mediator, and emotional manipulator and he cracks jokes too? Give him a BREAK

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

historical drama/sitcom where two gay best friends (woman and man) get lavender married--and proceed to spend the Fancy European Honeymoon their parents paid for acting as each other's wingman

[emoboygenderenvy]

i really appreciate ryoko kui’s subversion of tired anime tropes, mostly a lot of sexual/sexualized ones

the main guy is a freak but not a pervert. just genuinely inflicted with the tism cranked to 100

none of the women are gratuitously sexualized (including the underage ones!!!) and all the panty shots are relegated to senshi, as they should be

the catgirl in the group isn’t some cute ditzy fan service character, but actually acts like a cat in addition to having her own arc and development

any level-headed male in the series respects and listens to the female characters and treats them as people and equals

also despite laios being a kinda blonde white everyman character, he’s easily the weirdest one in the group (and i love him)

[eydilily]

this is fine

[isjasz]

[mob killing noises] BAM!!!!1111!!

[pemprika]

a love so eternally bedeviled 🌏

[andy-dandy]

love seeing the beginnings of perseus "pay your fucking child support" jackson's crusade against the gods' parental negligence problem in ep 1 & 2 of the pjo show. the absolute KING of "my daddy gave me issues so HE'S about to HAVE issues"

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Hey now, Let her cook!

[s3znl-gr3znl]

Me and some of my moots tbh

[stevenrogered]

PERCY JACKSON & THE OLYMPIANS (2023) 1x01, ""I Accidentally Vaporize My Pre-Algebra Teacher"

[novaneondream]

it’s our turn to make you smile

[mo-mode]

I know it’s controversial but I think Annabeth geeking out over the Hephaestus contraptions was adorable