strugglingwithfood - Tumblr blog

[strugglingwithfood]

This week sucks. Not only did my period show up like the koolaid man at a party, but i lost 2 checks for my sons birthday, and i found out a house we had put an offer on sold for less than our offer! Add to that my weight gain and the fact that the company i work for was just sold and idk if i will have a job in a few months.

[strugglingwithfood]

Being a breastfeeding mom is just crazy. I quit trying as hard from the 4th of July for 6 days and lost about 3 lbs. I had gained some when I was actively trying to lose weight. I think my body was holding on to fat because I'm breastfeeding. I'm still trying to make good choices but I'm not limiting myself so much. Still would have to lose about 4 lbs by the end of the week to hit my goal (not going to happen), but if I could lose another 1-2 I'd be happy given the state I was in a week ago.

Trying to lose 5 lbs before my birthday (15 days). Would have only been 3 but I gained weight again (blame pms). Ive been struggling with my appetite. I get super hungry really fast and im in a hurry so i eat a lot fast or eat carbs that i know will spike quick and hold me over a little more than something like an apple. I need to be more mindful though if im going to succeed. Its hard when working full time and taking care of a baby. Ive been skipping workouts because im exhausted or because we end up going to look at a potential house and its all taking its toll. Ive cut out soda except on weekends or special occassions and even then ive been keeping it minimal (i drank diet so it didnt affect calories but just wanted to for cost and general health). Ive cut back desserts a little but it still needs some work.

[strugglingwithfood]

8 days to go. Had gained a pound then today showed I lost two, so all in all, down 1 lb with 4 to go. Holiday is probably going to make this super tough, especially since I won't get to workout as much this weekend due to everything going on and the bad weather we are expecting. Might try to fit in a treadmill walk one day if needed.

Trying to lose 5 lbs before my birthday (15 days). Would have only been 3 but I gained weight again (blame pms). Ive been struggling with my appetite. I get super hungry really fast and im in a hurry so i eat a lot fast or eat carbs that i know will spike quick and hold me over a little more than something like an apple. I need to be more mindful though if im going to succeed. Its hard when working full time and taking care of a baby. Ive been skipping workouts because im exhausted or because we end up going to look at a potential house and its all taking its toll. Ive cut out soda except on weekends or special occassions and even then ive been keeping it minimal (i drank diet so it didnt affect calories but just wanted to for cost and general health). Ive cut back desserts a little but it still needs some work.

[strugglingwithfood]

Trying to lose 5 lbs before my birthday (15 days). Would have only been 3 but I gained weight again (blame pms). Ive been struggling with my appetite. I get super hungry really fast and im in a hurry so i eat a lot fast or eat carbs that i know will spike quick and hold me over a little more than something like an apple. I need to be more mindful though if im going to succeed. Its hard when working full time and taking care of a baby. Ive been skipping workouts because im exhausted or because we end up going to look at a potential house and its all taking its toll. Ive cut out soda except on weekends or special occassions and even then ive been keeping it minimal (i drank diet so it didnt affect calories but just wanted to for cost and general health). Ive cut back desserts a little but it still needs some work.

[strugglingwithfood]

I dont know what is happening with my body. My stomach is so bloated and gross and i dont even want to step on the scale. My mom sent me dresses to look at on amazon and all i could think of was how fat i would look and how they wouldnt be flattering. I look pregnant but flubby. Whats killing me is that it just started up this past week! I havent been to workout in a few days because we have been busy but ive been trying to eat better too. We did eat out a little more this past week then before but ive cut out a lot of sweets and i cut way back on sodas over a month ago. I feel like im working harder and my results are going backwards.

[strugglingwithfood]

I was supposed to be married and honeymoon in 2020. Covid pevented that. We were able to be married the following year but had to change our honeymoon destination because we still couldn't leave the country. We just booked our original honeymoon trip in the same hotel for this December. Had we been married in 2020, this would be just shy of our 5 year anniversary.

As a newish mom (9 months) and recovering from a broken wrist, i have a lot of work to do to get in the physical shape i want to be in for this trip. We also have some financial goals we want to hit as we grow our family. I made some challenging but achievable fitness, weightloss and financial goals I want to hit by the end of July. This month is all about rebounding from purchasing the trip and from my injury. Then it will be about building on that solid foundation. There are plenty of things that could throw a wrench in those plans (mainly if we buy a new house), but we will work it out. As I listen to my neighbor screaming at 730am, i think it may be worth it to be a little poor and to not have to deal with them and our shared driveway anymore.

[strugglingwithfood]

So depressed. I was getting back into my workouts and getting my body back post baby and then i broke my wrist. Now im gaining weight badly. Im trying to eat better but work and caring for a baby and house one handed is putting me in survival mode and i eat what i can just to keep myself from feeling sick. We are going to the beach in 3 weeks and i have no clothes or swimsuits that fit now. I was on track to fit in at least a few things until i broke my wrist. And now all my skin is peeling and im just disgusting. I look terrible. Fat, peeling, pale, smelly, graying and dry hair that constantly looks unbrushed, dirty teeth, bo, uneven nails, no makeup, gross ass human. My baby is all that keeps me from self haring. Cant self care cause of my wrist and fucked up knees. Isolating into a hobit hole now

[strugglingwithfood]

I like my job.

I love my baby.

I like our nanny.

I'd love to be a stay at home mom.

I need the money and benefits from work.

My body is betraying me.

I feel selfish taking all this medical care and costs.

I know I need to heal to be the best mom I can be.

I'm crying a river.

Can I hold on until our next baby?

[strugglingwithfood]

My New Years resolutions of sort....

Im tracking how many days each month I go to barre, walk, eat fruit and veggies and floss. You may think, shouldnt you eat fruits and veggies and floss every day, why do you need to track that? Well im not perfect and i dont do it every day like I should. So January will show me how I'm doing and then I can work on improving it. It is helping a little already. Last night i needed a post workout snack and I had carrots because i knew i hadnt had a veggie yet. Otherwise i may have just ate a cheese stick or a rice krispie treat or something not as healthy.

Also trying to be better about my skin care. I often get depressed and mopey about how I'm not as pretty as other women or how i feel like im starting to look old, etc. But i cant be upset when im not doing anything to change it. And sure you can say looks dont matter, but we all feel it. I want to feel my best and more confident. So I'm upping my face skin care. Nothing crazy, just trying to start a simple routine.

[strugglingwithfood]

7 weeks postpartum and im starting to feel like myself again. Sure im always tired and sometimes im sobbing because i cant get my baby to stop crying or im hungry and havent had time to eat. But i look at his beautiful face and he smiles at me and i just feel so much joy in my heart. Im getting moving again and im seeing my husband become an amazing, involved dad and i love it. Life is what you make it and im trying to make it amazing.

[strugglingwithfood]

Washers should have a delayed start option. Like maybe i want to shower first but dont want to go back in the basement after. So i could tell it to start in an hr. Or maybe i want to do a load for the next day but im about to leave the house and dont want it sitting there wet until im home. I could tell it to start in 3 hrs and then it would just be finishing when i get home and i could move it to the dryer.

[strugglingwithfood]

One of the funny things about being pregnant is looking at your bump progression pictures and remembering how you thought you were chunky or fat or bloated before pregnancy and in those first few months, and realizing that you actually looked good and shouldn't have felt so self conscious about your body. Ive been loving that pregnancy made me more confident about my body. Im not as embarrassed by things anymore. I hope that carries on post-partum.

[strugglingwithfood]

Ive been feeling guilty every time i want to or do cancel one of my pure barre workout classes this month. I keep saying i meed to go as much as i can now because next month lamaze starts and i wont be able to go to barre as often and then in june i will be so far along it will be hard to go often. So i try and force myself to class but I've barely paused to considee that maybe my body is already trying to tell me to slow down.

[strugglingwithfood]

I asked for a roomba for Christmas and so many people told me i was crazy and that they dont work that well and you still have to run a regular vacuum. And i was ok with that because i wanted it to do a little extra pickup on the days i dont vacuum or if the dogs are particularly messy one day. So my in laws got me one and i used it here and there but i felt like i wasnt using it enough.

But now that im in my 3rd trimester of pregnancy and my dogs are starting into shedding season, im using it double what i was and im so thankful i dont have to haul out the big vacuum. Sure it doesnt do a perfect job but it does well enough i dont feel stressed about the state of my floor. Especially since ive been too tired to do my usual vacuum this week.

I will just say, be sure you check the filter and replace it often! I didnt realize that had to be done and i seriously change mine twice a month because it gets so gross from dust and dog hair. The replacements i got came with a little brush and i use that and hit the filter on the side of the trash to make it last longer. Its crazy what it collects.

[strugglingwithfood]

Third trimester hormones are crazy. Im feeling so tired again and im also starting to get emotional over everything. Prior to now ive been pretty relaxed and didn't have mood swings but i feel like an absolute crying stressball all the time now. I feel depressed and just want to sleep all the time.

[strugglingwithfood]

I think im getting a cold sore. My baby shower is in a few weeks so im trying to treat it as one. My husband has been sick, he drank out of my water and then i drank it. Ive been feeling run down and i was in the sun on easter and UV light is a big trigger for me. I just had my last outbreak under my nose in early October.

I wish i could get these to stop. Usually they are a fall problem for me. Ive been having so many issues with my skin since being pregnant and i was finally getting into a good routine and gettinf it to look and feel better and now this stupid red rash appeared. I also have tiny white bumps above my upper lip now like clogged pores or something. Ifk

[strugglingwithfood]

Feeling thankful today. I saw an article about how women are often behind saving for retirement due to wage gaps and time off to have children or care for family. As someone just entering her 3rd trimester, i was interested. I clicked a link where you could fill in ur current retirement info and see what your end goal should be and what you will actually have based on your current plan. It was fast and not super detailed but it gives you an idea.

I was at about half of what i would need by the time i reach retirement. I asked my husband for his info so we could do a combined one. Turns out he has been contributing a large amount from each paycheck into his work retirement plan. We share finances and are open about things and trust each others co-financial decisions. I tend to have anxiety about money and while im great ar budgeting and saving, things like investment and retirement arent as high on my priority list. Im thankful i have a husband who takes more of an interest in those aspects and picks up my slack. And that we are on the same page financially enough that we dont worry about each others spending or decisions. Money can be a huge stress on a marriage and while we still get stressed with finances, its never been about each other and im thankful we are similar minded but balance each other out as well.