#i love how unintelligible this seems with no context

[la-cocotte-de-paris]

More people need to be obsessed with The Third Man (1949)

[hellsslibrary]

sub...Michael Kaiser...with male reader...please...I'm begging...

Just saw the latest chapter and him saying "please" made me simultaneously combust.

What if he says that word but on a completely different context, iykwim 👀👀👀👀

"In an ideal relationship, pure love and dirty sex complement each other, not exclude each other."

#a.n. : You can't imagine how much fun it was to write this, different sides of the dominant were fighting inside me, it was wild.

MASTERLIST is here.

!!Warnings: top!dom!male!reader, sub!bottom!Michael, brat taming, humiliation, light strangulation, dry orgasm, you dig Kaiser to the point of half death, reader breaks the bed and unironically fights Alexis for a place in the hotel with Michael by playing tic-tac-toe (mention, I thought it was funny), Kaiser is literally folded in half, one bite to his ankle and a slight mention of blood, three phrases in German (my half-German roots take over), riding.

It was obviously not a revelation to Kaiser why this had started. He had started to understand it the moment you almost fought Ness to share a hotel room with him. After all, you, as adults and completely mentally ill people, played tic-tac-toe and you beat Alexis. After all, he could survive a couple of nights not in a room with Michael, but you? Oh no, you had too big of a plan for him.

He had figured it out himself, as soon as he saw that you were actually focused on winning this stupid game and not playing for fun... But I guess he didn't understand what exactly was waiting for him. Although that's the best part.

"G-gott! Y/n, slow d-down! This is, oh shit, this is too mu-much!" came out unintelligibly from his lips, while he grabbed the sheets beneath him with all his might, his graceful fingers almost tearing apart the poor fabric that was holding on with all its might.

"Are you sure?" you clarify, knowing he won’t answer because he doesn’t want to, but he also doesn’t want to seem too needy.

And so he does. He stays silent, burying his face in the pillows and pushing his ass back a little more to somehow meet your ruthless thrusts that didn’t allow him to breathe properly.

You squeeze his hips, pressing lightly on his stomach under your fingers, causing him to whine loudly, even muffled by the cotton pillowcases. His toned ass jiggles slightly with each thrust, making you want to bite one of his cheeks right now, but oh, what a shame the human body can’t bend like that, huh?

Kaiser felt too good as you admired his ass and his bulging back without any other thought. He felt like his whole being was melting, turning into nothing more than obedient plasticine in your hands, which you could bend as you wish.

He bites his lip to hold back another moan. It seems like he can hear his heartbeat in every part of his body, no matter how unimportant or far from his head. It seems like his blood is so hot that he is about to melt... Not that it is not true, considering how sweaty you both have been for the last few dozen minutes.

"Aren't you going to answer me, handsome? Or do you want me to stop and leave you empty and thirsty, hm?" your whisper sends involuntary goosebumps down his body when he realizes that your chest is rubbing against his back and he makes some kind of sound similar to hiccups, turning his head to the side.

"Shut up."

The phrase made your hips freeze almost immediately, your eyebrow involuntarily crawling up at the fact that he had the strength to speak clearly, and also to act like a complete brat, when you were obviously lifting him to Heaven and back with your actions.

"Move, idiot. Why the hell did you stop?"

Your eye twitched and you took a deep breath, looking down at his frowning, flushed face. There were traces of moisture all over his face from tears and sweat mixed together, his lips were slightly swollen from holding back moans, but most importantly, his eyes. The shine in them. He knew what he was doing, or rather, what he was saying.

Before he could come to his senses, your lips spread into an almost animalistic smile and your cock completely slipped out of him. Kaiser was about to complain, but you abruptly flip him over onto his back, and then immediately, without warning, you penetrate inside.

His next moan was probably heard by everyone in the hotel, or at least on your floor. And all the following ones, too. He was no longer holding back, moaning at the top of his lungs. His hands were looking for something to grab onto and wanted to close around your shoulders, but you would not allow him such luxury, so you squeezed his palms above his head.

"What a pity. If you want to act like a little slut, then I will have to treat you like one," you lean right over his face, sliding out so that only your tip remains inside him, and then penetrate in the roughest way you can.

"Ohhh, ple-please... Ple-please, fuck, s-sir, I b-beg yo-you... P-please!"

He himself did not understand what he was begging for, while you just let out a chuckle from this. Michael could barely form any coherent words, he was just mumbling obvious nonsense now.

Your fingers squeezed the blond's leg at his knee, throwing one of his legs over your shoulder, practically folding him in half. He muttered something unintelligible, tears starting to flow from his closed eyes while his hands clenched into fists helplessly in your grip.

"What? You decided to fix yourself in a couple of seconds, handsome? That's not like you. My dick makes you drunk?" he would never admit that it did, but his head shook in agreement too convulsively.

You bite his ankle, digging into the white skin, causing him to cry out in pain, but he doesn't complain. He just stares excitedly at the small trickle of blood rolling down his leg. Your free hand, not holding his hand, falls on his neck.

And God, something clicks inside him. He cums, but nothing comes out, in that same second, although your hand did not have time to settle down and squeeze properly. You only look at the pathetic state of the German while he experiences a dry orgasm and how his cock twitches.

"What a pity... Although you are a smart boy. Even without realizing anything, you do not dare to cum for real without my permission..." Michael only moans in response, not being able to say anything anymore, especially now that you are blocking part of his air.

"Please, Y-y/n," he manages to mumble somehow, looking at you with empty, smoky eyes, hazed with a haze of lust, and you feel how he squeezes around your cock. Probably on purpose, but now you do not care.

"Please what, baby? You have to speak clearly," he frowns, looking away and staring at some tasteless painting on the wall, trying to pull some kind of speech out of his brain.

"Let me cum... Bitte, mein schatz," Kaiser whines, managing to somehow rise up, although it is clearly uncomfortable and even painful for him, given the position he is in, and kissing the corner of your lips, missing the main target. "Bitte lass mich abspritzen, lass mich auf deinen Schwanz abspritzen..."

You feel something break inside you. He looked beautiful and didn't even seem embarrassed as usual by his obvious vulnerability and the state of some kind of toy in your hands. In the end, he even found the strength to kiss you and didn't even wince at the fact that he literally bent in half for a couple of seconds. Well, how can you not spoil such a boy, right?

His head falls back, he sighs raggedly when you begin to pound him with the maximum speed and roughness you can muster right now. The bed beneath you creaks pitifully, as does Kaiser himself, not expecting such pressure.

"Dann komm, Hübscher," your words send him over the edge immediately, squeezing your cock as if in a vice.

He paints your and his stomach white, cumming surprisingly much. And he doesn't react at all when you continue your thrusts with a same force, only small sighs escaping from his lips.

But then he screams and something cracks under you. You manage to catch him and throw his leg aside carefully but quickly, and press him to your chest.

"You... Managed to break the bed? Wow, new even for you," Michael mutters, watching the mattress and sheets sag in the hole in the bed, chuckling hoarsely and weakly hugging your shoulders now that he has this opportunity.

"I'll ask to change the room and pay for the bed... I don't even want to imagine the face of the girl at the reception, but..." You look up at the blond, who is now sitting on your lap and thoughtfully narrow your gaze.

"Ride you? Good," he understands what is needed, feeling that you have not yet finished and managed to twitch inside him even at such a moment. "You can't be trusted with the pace anymore, you're too wild... Next time we're in hotels, I'll ride you."

"Fair and sweet, I'm more than willing," he starts moving his hips, moaning with every movement, still sensitive from his orgasm, trying not to go too fast so you both don't fall off the bed... Until the broken part of the bed falls to the floor, causing a huge noise, but hey, you're facing the ace of German youth football, who cares? Especially one so rarely vulnerable and caring like this.

[rodolfoparras]

So in SSKTJL, the suicide squad gets infected with Fear Gas because of Batman

For context, Fear Gas is a gas created by Scarecrow or Johnathan Crane, and when inhaled, you live through your worst fears until worn off.

And Digger's worst fear is everyone leaving him behind, being unwanted and forgotten. In the scene, George talks to himself, saying they've probably already left him. Calling himself a loser and and a coward and shit. He sees "NOT WANTED" posters of himself hung up around

(I can't do this anymore, bro)

What if Reader's worst fear was watching all of his friends/teammates die and losing them all🥰

Running around trying to listen to Harley's advice (because she knows Scarecrow and the toxin) but he just keeps hearing his friends scream for help and their bodies everywhere but he's literally unable to help them, because they're not fucking real but it's scary asf

And once it's all over, Reader is all over Digger the rest of the night. They're the closest, so it's already not that weird, but he's literally not giving Digger a MOMENT of peace. a hand on that man the entire time, following him everywhere, fucking sleeps on top of him to try and keep him safe

Mumbles to him all night about being scared of losing him and how much he cares about him and Digger's just "🧍‍♂️wut?" Because he genuinely believes that despite working with the team, he's very easily disposable and they could all replace him but don't because of Waller

Reader ramping up his affection for Digger after that because he's not gonna let him think that shit??

Idk where I'm going with this but I love him so much. Just wanna play with his hair and kiss his face 😞

-🐧

Cw: tooth rotting fluff, x male reader

Okay but thinking about you being unable to calm down even though the gas has long stopped having effect, even though you’re back in your current reality with all your friends where they’re all very much alive and doing well but no matter what they say or do you just can’t calm down

It’s like you’re still stuck in that place, watching all your friends die in front of you without being able to do anything, and Digger being Digger starts joking around, telling the rest of the team how they should just knock you out to make sure you get to sleep through the night.

But his words turn into squeaks as you pull him into a bruising grip, his head shoved into your chest, and your arms locked in an iron grip around his waist.

Unintelligible sounds escape his lips as he tries to push you away from him but you don’t budge an inch, if anything you hold him tighter, nuzzling your face into his honey blonde locks and inhaling his scent, and for once you actually seem to relax.

“Uh hello big guy? cant breathe here,” the sound of Digger’s strained voice sends the whole squad into fits of laughter, with them even making comments about how you’re his responsibility for the night before splitting up to get some rest.

“Alright alright that’s enough” digger says as he finally breaks out of your embrace “jeez I know I’m a lovable guy but even that was a bit too much eh?” Digger says, clearly being sarcastic as he proceeds to prepare his make shift bed.

He doesn’t even get to lay down properly before you’re on top of him, your body weight pinning him in place an arm once again locked around his waist.

“God dammit,” Digger grunts out as his back meets the harsh impact of the ground. “What’s with you tonight eh? Gas scared you that bad? What did you even see?”

And maybe it’s the hint of concern in his voice or it’s the exhaustion from todays events, but you decide to tell you him what you saw earlier today.

Surprisingly enough, Digger listens intently to every word you have to say, at some point you think he’s fallen asleep or spaced out because it’s so unusual for him to not interrupt but when you look up, you see the very much focused look on his face as he continues to listen to you.

Once you’re done speaking you peer up at him - only to be met with the sight of his furrowed brows as he worries his bottom lip.

This time it’s your turn to ask what’s on his mind, digger doesn’t waste a second before he starts to explain, telling you how he can understand why you’d be worried about losing king shark- he was a great asset to the team - or Harley - she was a smart cookie or dead shot - look at his name! who wouldn’t want a guy like that on his team ? but he can’t understand why you’d be worried about losing him.

He doesn’t say it in a self deprecating way, but rather as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, as if he’s speaking of the way the sun is bound to rise tomorrow and maybe that hurts more than if he were to say it in a self deprecating tone.

You’re swift to rise up, knocking the air out of his lungs as you go on a tangent about how of course he’s an important part of the team, promptly mentioning the many times he’s saved your ass or saved another member of the team, the many times he’d been the reason as to why they succeeded in whatever mission you were doing.

By the time you’re done you’re all out of breath, chest rising and falling at a rapid pace hands still hanging in the air and staring wide eyed at the Aussie man.

“Alright alright big guy I get it,” he says, now sporting a blush on his face and avoiding your gaze while bashfully rubbing at the back of his neck. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you have a crush on the ol’ captain” Digger say with somewhat of a forced chuckle , and peers up at you beneath soft blonde lashes.

“Maybe I do,” you shrug.

“Wha-“

“Sleep digger, we have a long day tomorrow no?” You say, suddenly laying down again and pulling him into your arms before he can protest. You can hear him cursing under his breath but he doesn’t do anything to try and get out of your embrace. “Goodnight captain” you say with a smile on your face.

“Goodnight” he grumbles back as he tightens his hold on your waist.

[mywitchyblog]

Addressing Misconceptions (Again)

About this post of mine

Alright, it seems like once again, some of y’all have taken my words completely out of context, so let’s clear the air one more time.

First off, I didn’t make my previous post to attack all teenage shifters. I wasn’t pointing fingers at the entire group, nor was I saying that teenagers can’t shift properly or intelligently. My post was specifically directed at those who engage in hypocrisy—you know, the ones who criticize adults for age-shifting down while doing the exact same thing in reverse. The double standards are what I’m calling out, not every teenage shifter on the planet.

So, if you read that post and didn’t feel targeted, then it wasn’t about you. As the saying goes: If the shoe fits, wear it. If it doesn’t, move along.

Now, to those of you who are still convinced that I’m being “mean,” “vulgar,” or “hateful,” let me ask you this: Are you upset because of the way I said it, or because you got called out on your own contradictions? Let’s be real here—most of the responses I’ve gotten so far have been nothing but fallacies, where instead of engaging with the actual point I made, people decided to:

Attack my tone: Calling me “vulgar” or “hateful” is a classic ad hominem move. Instead of addressing the logic behind what I said, y’all are trying to discredit me by focusing on my word choice. You’re upset because I used strong language? Sorry, but the truth can be harsh sometimes. Focus on the substance of the argument, not the delivery.

Twist my words: Saying I’m attacking all teenage shifters is a straw man fallacy. I’m not out here claiming all teenage shifters are hypocrites or unintelligent. I’m calling out a specific pattern of behavior—the double standards that some (not all) people hold in this community when it comes to age-shifting. You know the ones I’m talking about: criticizing adults for age-shifting down while they age themselves up for the same reasons. If you don’t engage in that behavior, I’m not talking about you.

I made that post because this double standard is exhausting to witness. If we’re going to call certain behaviors “creepy” or “wrong,” then those standards need to be consistent across the board. You can’t shame someone for age-shifting down to relive experiences they missed out on while simultaneously aging yourself up to play out fantasies that fit your narrative. It’s the same thing, just flipped. If it’s problematic for one group, it’s problematic for everyone.

If the post triggered you, maybe it’s because you saw yourself in it. Maybe it’s because you’ve been playing the same game and didn’t like having a mirror held up to your actions. Either way, I’m not here to sugarcoat my points just to avoid ruffling feathers. If you’re going to critique me, do it with actual arguments—not emotional responses or complaints about my tone. Because the reality is, most of y’all aren’t engaging with the message, you’re just reacting to your own discomfort.

Speaking of Hypocrisy...

Now, let’s talk about another blatant double standard some of y’all are holding: shifting into fictional races vs. shifting into BIPOC identities. Some of you love to act all righteous, preaching about how wrong it is for someone to shift into a BIPOC identity, while at the same time, you’re out here shifting into elves, Na'vi, or other fantasy races, thinking that’s somehow okay.

Spoiler alert: Shifting into a “fictional” race is fundamentally the same thing as shifting into a BIPOC identity—it’s just wrapped up in a “pretty pink bow” of fiction to make it more acceptable for you. Whether you’re shifting into a BIPOC identity to explore different facets of life or diving into some fantasy species, you’re doing the same thing. The only reason you feel comfortable with one and not the other is because the fantasy version is conveniently distanced from real-world issues.

This brings us to another fallacy: special pleading. This fallacy happens when people create an arbitrary exception for something they are involved in while criticizing others for similar actions. For example, they might argue that race-shifting is wrong, but it’s somehow “different” or “okay” when they shift into a fictional race or species. The logic simply doesn’t hold up. It’s an inconsistent standard, and that’s why I call it out as hypocrisy. You can’t apply one set of rules to others while making a special exception for yourself just because you’re hiding behind a fantasy setting.

If you’re going to judge others for shifting into BIPOC identities, you better be ready to judge yourself when you’re out here shifting into an elf, a Na'vi, or any other fantasy race that’s just a dressed-up version of real-world cultures. The hypocrisy is real, and if you don’t see it, that’s on you.

If this hits a little too close to home, maybe it’s time to check yourself. The truth is, most of y’all are fine with exploring different identities as long as they’re neatly tied up in fantasy. But when it comes to real-world identities, particularly BIPOC ones, suddenly you’ve got a problem. The double standard is ridiculous, and it’s not just hypocritical—it’s exhausting.

Feeling Offended? Ask Yourself Why

So, if you’re feeling offended by my posts—whether it’s about age-shifting or race-shifting—then maybe you should ask yourself why. Because if my words make you uncomfortable, it’s probably because they’ve struck a nerve. You can’t keep applying one set of rules to yourself and another set to everyone else just to feel morally superior. That’s not how it works.

At the end of the day, shifting is about exploring different facets of ourselves, whether through age, race, or any other identity. But if you’re going to call someone else out for how they shift, you better be applying that same scrutiny to yourself. Otherwise, you’re just playing the hypocrite game.

So here’s your wake-up call: stop rewriting the rules to fit your narrative. Either own it across the board, or step off the ride. Because if you’re still pretending that aging yourself up is okay but aging down isn’t, or that shifting into a fantasy race is fine but shifting into a BIPOC identity isn’t, you’re the one with the double standards—not me.

[starbylers]

Can we talk about how Mike ‘not being able to say he loves El because he’s scared she won’t need him one day’ makes no sense when you consider that for Mike this conflict spans two whole seasons, and there needs to be a consistent character motivation throughout.

Mike struggling to tell El he loves her has been, on the surface, his main conflict since s3.

In season 3, after blurting out he loves El, Mike brings it up again at the store. He tries desperately to get his point across, to make El understand ('I've never felt like this before', 'blank makes you crazy, like the word'). But no-one can deny that in this scene Mike is doing everything he can to avoid actually saying love. Now, what is the Mlvn excuse for this again? 'He's not good at expressing his emotions’. That's their running narrative post s3. (Let's ignore how that's not even canonically true of Mike's character and continue).

We come to season 4, and Mike is still chronically unable to use the word love, even when speaking about El and not to her. (Like this is clearly a deeply ingrained thing but I digress). Pre vol. 2, the Mlvn excuses are still related to Mike basically being emotionally unintelligent (his parents, his age, blah blah). But when Mike himself finally reveals the big reason, it's...'I didn't want to tell you I loved you because I was scared you won't need me one day'? Okay. Theoretically, out of context, that could make sense. So this becomes the new Mlvn narrative.

Here's the problem: both of these things cannot be the root cause of the same issue. It's one or the other: either he can’t say he loves her because he’s bad at expressing feelings, or he’s scared El one day not needing him would hurt more. This two-season dilemma is part of one series-long character arc for Mike. Mike in s4 is the same person with the same struggles as Mike in s3. Whatever his motivation for avoiding it in s3 (which was never addressed, it’s not like we got closure for that and then they just came up with a new reason he can’t say it) must logically be consistent continuing into s4.

Can anyone seriously tell me that Mike, here in this scene, was struggling to say the word 'love' because he was 'scared one day El wouldn't need him':

No. Of course not. He was specifically avoiding the word, and the most plausible explanation for his aversion (if we're ignoring Byler) is that Mike's just a kid and love is a big scary word. Bad at emotions etc. Which is why Mlvns and GA subscribed to that narrative, it seems obvious. But it cannot be right because Mike reveals the 'true reason' in 4x09. This is the canon explanation, finally—he's been scared she eventually won't need him. Except, that cannot be right either, because that reasoning does not align with his obvious (again, ignoring Byler) s3 motivation (love being daunting for a young teen) for the exact same behaviour. Like he literally uses the exact same pattern of avoidant wording from s3 in s4 (‘I care for you so much') and like I’ve said this is all meant to be one singular, overarching conflict.

If the initial 'bad at feelings' reading of Mike was correct, you'd expect the monologue to be more along the lines of 'I find it really difficult to express myself but I do truly love you, so this is me being vulnerable and brave'. Personally, I would've somewhat bought that. As a Byler I would've been like okay, it's kind of boring cliché storytelling but I'll admit defeat. But that’s not what happens. Basically what I’m getting at is:

Neither of these explanations can account for Mike’s inability to tell El he loves her in both seasons, so then by the logic of Mike having consistent motivations, neither can be true.

Which leads to the conclusion that there must be a different, all-encompassing, underlying cause for his heavy avoidance. Something that connects all the dots. I wonder what that could possibly be.

[agenericplaceholdername]

Dragons Rising E11-15 Thoughts

Here’s some thoughts on each episode in the first half of Dragons Rising, Season 1 Part 2:

The Temple of the Dragon Cores:

The Merge music starts playing before the MergeQuake starts 

This does kinda make me wonder how many people in Ninjago have interacted directly with the Ninja

Commented last time on the other empty holes in the portal gate room, but I guess those are just used for dragon stables

“My bathroom is everywhere” tbf with all the dragons there Wyldfyre probably isn’t making things that much worse

Lloyd was fixing the monastery from where the bounty hit it in E4

Zane: “The world is gonna end” Lloyd: “yeah I knew that, can I get back to my plants?”

“among us”

LaRow wait- what were you about to say about Lord Ras?

On one hand, Zane is really unintelligent in this scene. On the other hand, it’s nice to see the other Ninja just lounging around

Arin how did you know there were 3 dragon cores

RAPTON

This is such a strange resolution of this scene

Correct use of precision over accuracy

Did the FSM actually create the other realms? or just the landmasses like he did with Ninjago

“It never came up” is prob true and also such a funny way to address that you’re actually the grandson of God

“And the Wyldness” isn’t that a whole realm? Imagine if the Spirit said one of the cores is “in Ninjago”— how would they know where?

Frohicky!

Gangs of the Sea:

The first hint at a Rapton defection?

Arin volunteering to be with Lloyd immediately :)

Nya faces the problem of any teacher who has two people in their class with the same name

Naps are awesome Kai

It’s interesting that Lloyd frames Arin’s inability to do Spinjitzu as something holding him back, since that usually seems reserved for True Potentials, while Spinjitzu is just doing certain body movements

Is this training music new? It’s good

Ninjago has *never* done this trope before (except when they did)

Have any non-human characters had glasses in Ninjago (Glutinous had a monocle, but idk anyone else)

Lloyd is just trolling this guy lol

So the crab used mind control though the crown to control the Merlopian leader. But how did it control the rest of the Merlopians?

The crab’s tooth being planted is a leap in logic but I’ll take it to be true (meaning some mystery that’ll be resolved later)

Even when small that crab looks evil

And we go right into the next episode

Wyldly Inappropriate:

So were these guys in the Underworld the whole time, but some other kingdom or something?

I wonder if this recipe differs from the one Frohicky makes for Lloyd later

PIXAL :(

“That’s the second fastest I’ve ever seen someone grow a mustache” lol

Zane went into the Crossroads with the intent to purchase something and brought no money?

So they can’t say “We should kill you” (outside of that one Nya line which is meant as a joke) but “We should eviscerate you” is fine?

Did Nya run into the Lava-Tides before she started working with the Craglings?

I love the scroll of grievances

THE Chancellor Gulch? Absolutely crazy that he was the first side character to return in DR

All the mucoids have hyphens in their names (Grab-Barg, Tope-Epot, Zant-Tanz)

Moral about bullying (similar to what S1 of the original show would do)

Good development for Wyldfyre

There’s a Never-Realm samurai in the crowd. What does he think about Zane

“I’ll let everyone know what happened to you. Maybe someone will be sad.” Great line but not only is it funny but in the context of what happens in S2…

I’d like Zane’s tax filing toaster

Yet another Lobbo win

Is this meta-commentary on how Zane has been written? Or just incidentally responding to criticism in recent years

Good to see Kai and Wyldfyre working together

And now into the next episode

The Last Djinn:

Poor Zane

Both Frohicky and Lobbo have problems with their moms

“Anything that isn’t alive” ok so that’s just there so that they can’t use the seeker stones to find the missing characters right lol

“Not all Spinjitzu lessons are about fighting” this is a callback to Can of Worms, so a deep cut

So in just 7 years, Frohicky could clean the monastery with a toothbrush

No, Nya doesn’t know that her destruction of the Cursed Realm resulted in Djinjago’s destruction

“Why am I not Sora One?”

So I know the Howlers aren’t ghosts (they don’t seem dead or alive) but they do remind me of Bansha

Nya immediately gets in front of Sora to protect her from Arrakore

A “special energy” about Riyu? Why don’t you elaborate, Arrakore?

Arrakore’s lower body looks like cotton candy

“The Howlers will hunt you to the ends of the known realms and beyond” I assume this is a figure of speech but it would be wild if the Howlers could follow someone into and out of Nether-Space, for example

Nya’s eyebrow raise lol. “No comment.”

“No one is ever powerless!” It’s true but also funny that Nya says stuff like this as if her arc in Crystalized made sense and actually proved this (obv it’s clear that the writers thought it did)

Great scene - the Sora development, the music, “Your wish is yours to keep”

Good lesson from Zane

Having a Djinn on your side is pretty overpowered, so they’re clearly trying to limit Arrakore’s abilities

Easily the best of the 5 episodes covered today, although E13 is solid too and none are outright bad

They Call it Doom:

Kai head jumpscare

Dorama’s Imperium guards have top hats lol

Kai how’d you fall for that

Could a wish like this help locate PIXAl or Jay?

The pie stuff is great bc it comes from Arin’s VA, Deven Mack

“Acting general” why is Zant-Tanz only an acting general? Was there another general before who had to be replaced? What’s the policy on Mucoid Warrior promotions? 

Not the doom mucus! This episode does everything it can to replace “death,” “die,” and “kill” with “doom” and “destroy” … even though Ninjago has used those words before?

“Teams are for people too weak to work alone” let’s see if Wyldfyre still has this anti-Kai, anti-team mindset by the end of S1

Dorama flying with his staff is incredible

When did Rapton try to “stomp [the Ninja] into oblivion”? Lloyd isn’t talking about the Photacs since that’s what Arin brings up next

“Be destroyed. Obliterated. Pass away. Cease to be among the living—” okay maybe it’s a little funny but cmon

“ All life is important.” “But that’s Rapton.”

Hey Dorama is a union man!

So when did Dorama switch the cores?

Zant-Tanz and Arin’s dialogue is great

Couldn’t a Mucoid just wear high quality shoes and be fine?

Rapton I know you help the Ninja later but you also really suck

The Administration is super cool here

Sora and Nya — you do understand why children would run away from two older people carrying weapons right?

COLE! yeah Nya and him could have recognized each other faster but whatever

This is an okay batch of episodes - it’s good to see various new locations, but it does feel very fetch quest-y

Next up, the finale of Dragons Rising Season 1!

[dang-orange]

dang-orange makes a list of characters he'd shake inside a glass jar:

i decided to be insane while i wait for the Methylphenidate pill to hit (i was thought to have adhd and still have some leftovers from trying to treat that) so i can study. so i made a list of what i think are kins? i refuse to look up what that actually means so im going by the context that a thousand years of reading tumblr posts on pintrest gave me.

Okay! so:

Kinger is a new one, he seems like such a funny silly guy who is kind of out of it, something i absolutely get! so he goes there.

Izzy Hands has been a cause of insanity for me since season one, but season two got me worse. what a funny fellow. i get the whole being a tryhard thing, and sort of losing it a bit over having to change your ways. havent had to eat own my toes, lost a leg or done drag while singing in french, so those things i just find amusing.

Peter B. Parker! what a funny guy, i didnt expect him to actually come back on the second spiderverse movie. being a cool mentor is something admirable i think, and the scene with aunt may made me spend way too many hours on ao3 as i thought that could have been more of a thing (in my head the movie would have done well as a series, more time to explore the really cool characters they had). Also: him being a version of spiderman ''were things didnt go well'' that doesnt go in a morbid direction is very baller.

Doctor Twobrains i only know of from fandom osmosis. i did watch the series as a kid, but i really cant remember shit. the rat brain is funny, and i love anything involving inventors with a theme (i had to fight myself a few too many times to not include doofenshmirtz). the manerisms and vibe are very silly, the excentricities vibe with me.

Agent Stone was the only reason i watched the sonic movie. i saw a trailer and thought, huh i dont think i remember ever seeing this fellow on anything sonic. turns out, he was a new character and very, very funny. what a guy! i can imagine going that far being a henchman. i, however, do have a deep hatred against the guy that does robotnick, so i havent seen much else other than the first film (that i very much pirated).

Pyro is such a mistery. they just burn things and act jolly, the whole pyroland thing is also so stupid. i mained him when i played tf2, but for now i just save fanart of her burning shit and think about how cool it'd be to have a full body suit, be unintelligible and get to burn stuff. absolute 10/10.

Hazel from The Umbrella Academy was fun while he lasted. The idea of being a time traveling mercenary and still getting shitty hotel rooms is hilarious to me. made me really want to get suspenders, but i dont think that'll happen.

Scar (from Hermitcraft) is such a chaotically silly guy. i wish i could pull that off. going from scam, to huge incredible creations, to changing allies on a dime, to playing games by any other rules than the ones stabilished? i wish i could do that! btw the fanart is by reddit user dead_cricket_ (i didnt want to use a minecraft skin but wanted to make sure that I AM TALKING ABOUT THE FANON CHARACTER NOT THE REAL DUDE THAT MAKES VIDEOS)

Elliot Gussman from The Umbrella Academy was also fun while he lasted. i also have some really, really weird paranoia problems and would act the same if i had alien strangers in my house. there isnt a lot of fandom stuff on him, as he's such a minor character, so i just juggle a few too many head canons on this silly guy.

Aziraphale. hehe. haha. im absolutely normal about this guy. being an angel and having the ideology of heaven hammered into your head, and complying with things you know you shouldnt because you know the consequences and that theres someone all-seeing always watching you? i get that 100%. Two other things: the constant forced smiles that are clearly unnatural and doing silly things you know you arent good at are also relatable.

i really like Abner Krill. this is so long already, but i just, really like him. i wish he didnt get killed, that movie is my favourite and i wish it could get a sequel. i'll be short on the whole thing by saying that being the weirdest one on a bunch of batman villans is very funny, and his powers are very fucked up in a cool way.

Oswald Cobblepot was the only reason i saw Gothan. him going from just a guy to.. The Penguin?? absolutely crazy. i really got the whole bit where he was getting higher on the crime scene by biting small bits and getting big results.

I could write 20.000 words on each of these, but this formatting is ass and i think the Methylphenidate is working (it's been a bit more than 40 minutes between writing and looking up images that werent so bad), so i should go study/work. if anyone wants me to go insane again, dont worry! i absolutelly will. i made an account here for a reason.

[wildlygay]

JNP Fire Patrol - INCIDENT REPORT (1)

(This is apart of my TFP grimdark au, love cryptic horrors and so my blog will get a few snippets of this! Got it from my google docs.)

WARNING: Viewing this file without proper authentication will result in action taken by the Nevadan National Guard, hacking into this file is punishable by law. 

Log 1: Jun. 12, 2011 - Officer Mitch arrived at Watch Tower 1 in Jasper National Park, he seemed naturally skeptical of the infamy of that tower held. Those rumors about a beast resting underneath the tower like a makeshift nest, taking hikers and fellow watch guards for some reason. 

Some thought the beast was eating them, others thought that the beast was turning them into beasts themselves, the fates of the missing hikers and staff members are uncertain. Mitch took the summer job due to the high pay, and as a stress relief. I mean, who wouldn’t want to take in the view of Jasper’s gorgeous national park?

Log 2: Jun. 18, 2011 - Settled in well without issues, he got a hang of doing the weather reports and stopping any would-be campers from entering past curfew relatively quickly. The following is a transcript between Officer Mitch, and the watch guard for Tower 2, who shall not be named for privacy concerns.

Watch guard two hung up after a short call with guard two referring Mitch to a training video to explain the new security system, and Officer Mitch watched the training video. He managed to access the security feed, watching through the footage. He is a bit worried of the ‘something’ that was mentioned not being able to shake off the feeling that he’s in danger, but no other negative feelings are reported.

It’s encouraged that Watchtower guards write their negative feelings in physical journals or the online diary that’s on the computer. We look over the logs weekly and see if they’re stable enough to continue working. 

Log 3 - Jun. 25, 2011: Mitch has not been reporting for the daily weather reports, and Watchtower guard 2 reported seeing Mitch leaving his station at midnight on June 24th, holding the shotgun. The ‘shotgun’ is an emergency weapon used in case of a feral creature, a cybertronian, and or him. We are unsure of how Mitch figured this out, but it has not been determined yet. 

The bullets are made out of dark energon, as it’s proven that it’s very efficient in disarming them, and weakening them. Mitch is considered lost, however, security footage says otherwise. BIOHAZARD WARNING: The following footage is considered to have contingent effects on those who view it, watch at your own risk. If you are infected, please contact Agent Fowler. 

The only thing available is the audio, but that alone is unsettling. There are noises, and Mitch goes down to the bottom of the watchtower, with the shotgun. “What the hell are you?” (Unintelligible growling)   “Oh god, that’s a corpse.. What are you doing with a corpse?”

“Are you fucking licking it? It’s dead, that’s not even living anymore!”

(The growling gets more defensive as it lunges at Mitch, the sounds of the shotgun being used are heard, then a sickening crunch noise.)

(But he seems… Happy? There’s the sounds of dragging, and a loud purr. A deep voice can be heard.)

“New ... toy.”

From the context clues, Mitch is disgusted at the sight of him licking a dead corpse, presumably in a maternal manner. Like how a little girl would take care of a baby doll. 

When Mitch is viewed as a threat by seemingly triggering him when he exclaimed how the ‘doll’ was a corpse, hence a dead body, the entity attacks him, hence the missed shotgun shots, and it crushed him to death. 

But the entity, in a sick twist, seems to view Mitch as a new toy. Presumably excited to get a new human doll with a cute uniform to play with. It’s clear he doesn’t know the difference between a toy and a human corpse. This contradicts with our earlier reports, as it’s reported that he’s much more violent. This information could be wrong however, as one of the reports was proven to be falsified.

[camillescreations]

Has anyone else watched the leaked Archie audition clip from a while ago? Archie is the new female crew member we see next to Jim in a lot of scenes. I've seen one other person do a recent analysis based off of Izzy's amputation. But I just wanted to talk about it, too!

In this clip, Archie is obviously interacting with Izzy, who is likely laying down, Izzy calls her a cunt and twat, and she responds with some snarky remarks back, seeming to knock Izzy out with the belt lol. I'm not sure if every aspect of this audition will play out in the show, but it's worth mentioning. So there is a good possibility we will be getting an amputation scene. It's unclear who the other person Archie is talking to (not Izzy) is. I'm thinking it might be Jim, I think the line "Sorry, man, we got orders" would be in character for them. But that line is worth mentioning, as well. Who are the orders from? It would make sense for the orders to be from Ed. Ed wouldn't want Izzy to die. Whoever it is, the "chopper" must be someone with some sort of medical knowledge. But what's interesting is that Izzy says something along the lines of "just let me die." So has Izzy given up? Did he let his toe infection become worse on purpose? Or, if it's not the infection and another injury that mangled his leg, is this after he maybe realizes how hurt Ed is and he feels like he did the wrong thing, thus wanting to die? I'm dying to know this context and if it happens when Izzy has met up with Stede yet or not! But I'm thinking it might be before, like episode 1.

Then at the end of the amputation scene, the "chopper" says, "well that was um... that was intense." And then Archie responds with "Yeah, super intense...super intense" while staring into the other person's eyes! Sexual tension, anyone? And then Archie softly goes (i think this is what she says), "d'you want..." and looks like she gets pulled by her hand and goes with the other person. That, I'm guessing, is what leads into the next scene in the audition clip, which I'll talk about now.

So the next clip has Archie talking to another person (let's call them Person 2) not the "chopper" I'm guessing, who says "its not about you, specifically. It's about love. All love dies, I'm just hastening the process along. But I must admit, I'm disappointed in you (bro?)" I think the person they're referring to is the "chopper." I'm paraphrasing since I can't understand every word and I don't have context lol. But anyways, then Archie responds with "what happened down there, that was just for fun. That was just eating each other out. That was not love." Then the other person goes "it wasnt?" And Archie says "did you...aw man this is awkward...is that what--did you think that's what that was...?" Then the other person seems to scoff and go "no! (Unintelligible, something about love)"

Then a third person (person 3) chimes in and says " I hate to interrupt this amorous quarrel, but if you don't start fighting each other to the death I'm gonna have to kill all of them, so." (The " all of them" in that sentence implies there are more people in the room than the ones ive already mentioned) And Archie seems to wave to another person (not chopper or person 2, it seems like) and then silently mouth something I can't quite make out, but she seems to be saying she won't do something? There's some head shaking and stuff. Then who I assume is person 2 says "Look man, I'm not fighting Archie to the death, alright, (I'm?) just not--" Then Archie punches them in the face and headbutts them lol.

SO THAT WAS A LOT. I'm gonna give my best guess as to what in the world is happening there and who the different people are (btw, I have no idea if Archie is actually talking to one person or two before the person who says they're gonna kill everyone comes in. I'll touch on some different possibilities.)

My guess is that Archie and another crew member have a "sexual connection," and if Jim is the one who chops Izzy's leg off, then the connection is with them. That would make some sense, considering how close Archie and Jim are always standing in the trailer. Maybe Jim and Archie grow close in Olu's absence.

So then we have the more confusing scene. My guess is that Person 2 is Oluande or some other member of the crew. It could be Ed. Let's look at both possibilities.

So if Person 2 is Olu then he must have somehow walked in on Archie and Jim. Olu is hurt, since this means that Jim cheated on him, which is why he says that all love dies and he's disappointed in Jim. I don't know if that dialogue is all that in character for Olu, though.

I guess it could be Ed, and Ed knows heartbreak so that's why he talks about all love dying and stuff. And I assume he knows that Jim and Olu were a couple if he says he's disappointed in Jim.

Ugh I just don't know who is who! But now let me try to identify person 3.

My first guess is that if person 2 is Olu, then person 3 could be Ed. He makes the murder joke because he's still in his Kraken era and is mad at everything, especially things to do with love. But I don't know about this.

My second guess is that Person 3 is a villain, and that villain has the crew captured or something?

I honestly am so confused by this clip, it's so hard to tell who is speaking because the guy talking in the clip, the womans scene partner who we never see, doesn't switch voices or cadences for each character. It all sounds like the same guy talking, but it's obviously not. Well let me know what you guys think and sorry if this was confusing to anyone!

[positivelybeastly]

🖤 raze ?

attractiveness:

repulsive / hideous / ugly / not attractive / unappealing / not unattractive / meh / no preference / ok / mildly attractive / nice looking / cute / adorable / attractive / pleasant on the eyes / good looking / hot / sexy / beautiful / gorgeous / hot damn / would tap that / perfect / godlike / holy fuck there are no words.

Honestly, I always thought it was a bit of a shame that Raze only ever really got to terrorise Logan in the few comics appearances he had after Battle of the Atom, because there is just so much to unpack in panels like this, but as far as I know, he and present Hank never really interact. That being said, Logan + Raven = unfortunately attractive children, I'm afraid to say. Awful, really.

personality:

grating / irritating / frustrating / boring / confusing at best / awkward / unreasonable / psychotic / disturbing / interesting / engaging / affectionate / aggressive / ambitious / anxious / artistic / bad tempered / bossy / charismatic / appealing / unappealing / creative / courageous / dependable / unreliable / unpredictable / predictable / devious / dim / extroverted / introverted / egotistical / gregarious / fabulous / impulsive / intelligent / sympathetic / talkative / up beat / peaceful / calming / badass / flexible.

Moving over to X-Force Beast for this one, since I can only guess this is from the inimitable @defyxoblivion - he finds him irritating as hell, but that's not exactly unique to Raze, X-Force Beast finds everyone a drain on his mental resources. That being said, he's a useful asset, and not unintelligent, if he could just get his emotions sorted out and processed.

how likely they would have sex with them:

not if they were the last person on earth and the world was ending / fuck no! / never / no way / not likely / not sure / indifferent / I’m asexual / maybe / probably / it depends / fairly likely / likely / yeah sure / yes / would tap that / hell yes / fuck yes! / wishing that could happen right now / as many times as possible / we are already having sex.

I conceptualise X-Force Beast as a fairly asexual being, he just doesn't really care about that side of things anymore since he's a goddamn emotional black hole, but every now and then an itch needs to be scratched, and I don't think this version of Beast is all that picky about who he lays down with (canonically, he has a sex program in the Shadow Room, which, thanks for that, Ben Percy). If Raze is there and interested, why not?

level of friendship:

never in a million years / worst of enemies / enemies / rivals / indifferent / neutral / acquaintance / friendly toward each other / casual friends / friends / good friends / best friends / fuck buddies / bosom buddies / practically the same person / would die for them / true friends / my only friend.

X-Force Beast is very firm on the fact that he doesn't want, need, or have friends, so this was always going to be fairly limited. That being said, I don't think he regards Raze as an enemy - he's intelligent and ambitious enough that he could view him as a potential rival, but that's honestly closer to respect than antagonism for this version of Beast.

first impression of them:

i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.

This one's a bit of a tricky one, given there's the canon way Hank first encountered Raze, which was not flattering, and then there's the alternate Raze the esteemed defyxoblivion plays, where the context was very different. That being said, I don't think that saying he didn't trust him in either context is much of a stretch. :P

current impression of them:

i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.

X-Force Beast doesn't trust anyone, and that's just fine with everyone involved. That being said, if we're going by members of X-Force, he's probably most fine with Raze just by virtue of the fact that he also has a complicated, messy, and occasionally hateful relationship with Logan, though Raze is probably doing a better job of managing said relationship than Beast is.

[everchanging-cryptid]

Ok that took an embarrassingly long time to recover from but

from Party Rock Prison or wherever I was (trapped in an attic) and I’ve dealt with my feelings, probably?, about the S2 ending. So I’m gonna talk about that, and how I’m trying cope with that. This is mostly just so I can reassure myself later if I get sad about the ending again, but I figure no harm can come from trying to reassure anybody else in the same situation, right? (Knock on wood) so, while I speak pretty vaguely, I’ll still put a cut in the extreme case of spoilers. (Apologies if this is unintelligible, I’m running on like 3 hours of sleep and a baby carrot)

So, while the last 15 minutes of S2 are initially extremely painful and will most likely leave you crying or at least wishing you could cry, we have to remember that this is not the end. Far from it. S2 was just a bridge season, a collection of context for S3. In S3, we will most likely get the happy ending we want to see, or some variation of it anyway. It will be okay. Even if we don’t get a third season of the show, Neil Gaiman has talked about how he would still want to end the story properly in some way. So regardless of whatever happens, it will get better. Things may look bad now, but it’ll get better. Even though we would have to wait a little while for S3, I feel like it’ll all be worth it in the end. It’ll be worth the wait. We’ve got this.

(Just in case anyone needs them, I’ll list some wholesome fics here that I really like ^^[so sorry I can’t link them, I can’t seem to figure out how and it isn’t working right])

•The Parting Glass by equestrianstatue and omnishambles- the first fanfic I’ve ever read, and my all time favorite

•As At Eden by ChaosDuckWrites- this one’s short but sweet, I really like it

•Beyond The North Wind by Jackie_Thomas- this one is a bit longer but is very cool, the ending is amazing

•An Evening On A Porch by DandelionDrabbles- this one’s cute and very sweet

•hand in unlovable hand by gazing- this one’s super cute, I like this one a lot

•Scare me goodnight, my love by The_Rogue_Bard- this one isn’t done yet, but so far it’s super neat and it’s a neat concept

[moedori]

moedori x sans undertale

uwu

do androids dream of sexy skeletons?

The entire floor is enshrouded in darkness. Wander as you want, though every hall and room is pitch black, and you wouldn’t be able to see even your own hands. Well, all rooms except for one, which was just barely lit by the light from a large array of monitors and the colourful buttons on the control panel below them.

A sigh escapes his lips as it looks through an old photo album. Old polaroids with handwritten labels litter its pages, all filled with images of people from afar, unsuspecting that they had a special little photographer watching just a few meters away. He flips ahead to the next page, revealing two pages full of close-up pictures of a boy with teal hair, some with him smiling, some from afar, with the same malicious aura as the last 10 pages of this book.

“U-Um… What are you doing, Hiyori?”

Moedori turns his head slightly to the side to glance at the monitor that had just turned itself on. He didn’t bother turning around to fully face it. “Oh, Shin… That stupid Yabusame just had to ruin everything, huh? Nya.” He pulled out a photo from the album and stared at it, as though analyzing it, remembering everything that happened the moment the photo was taken. It was just a couple of years ago when he and Shin were hanging out.

The poor AI gulped. He’s heard something about Yabusame from him before, but never truly did comprehend it. Understandably so, as Moedori never bothered to so much as explain the entire thing. Just complained and cursed “That Yabusame” without context. It was always a scary thing for Shin since, despite Moedori’s smile, there was always that undeniable fury in his eyes and malice in his words. Even the odd “Nya” at the end of his sentence couldn’t help him from feeling so uneasy.

“O-Oh… I see.” He answered, forcing out a smile. Moedori looked at him from the corner of their eye again, and Shin froze and looked away to avoid eye contact.

Moedori sighed again as he tucked the old photo back in its place. A wonderful thing that pictures are, for they possess the ability to capture a memory in physical form! Truly a blessing to his research… He closed the album.

“Ahh, I suppose I can’t do anything about it now. Not when I have to prepare so much.” He chuckled, sending a shiver of fear down the AI’s spine. Moedori stood up and took his scarf and coat from the backrest of his chair. He wished he could’ve fit his favourite sphere chair into the room. “I guess you have seemed a bit busy lately…What are you preparing for, Hiyori?”

Moedori hummed as he thought of how to answer. Scarf now around his neck, he tucked the album under his arm.

“Oh. Well… You can think of it as a super-duper fun party… Ahahahahahaha!” . . “UwU.”

He closed the door, leaving Shin AI in absolute confusion. As if the first statement wasn’t already so unintelligible…!

With the snap of his finger, the lights in the halls begin to buzz and flicker on. He grinned at this. That trick never gets old! “Ahaha… Desu~! ☆:.｡.o(≧▽≦)~o.｡.:☆”

He quickly found himself in the library. He walked past probably a dozen shelves before finally coming to a stop at one. He carefully put the book back in its place.

“Hiyori…!!”

A moment’s panic flashed in his mind, just nearly activating his fight-or-flight instinct. He turned around, preparing himself for the worst. “Hellooo, Maple!! ~( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ”

The girl grinned cheerfully at the sight of its face and hearing them say her name. “Heehee!! Good morning, Hiyori! I made you some cookies!” She blushed and handed him a large plate of cookies, all of which were heart-shaped with pink or red frosting.

Sweat dripped down the nape of his neck. Yikes… He knows he’ll have to eat them all right in front of her if he wants to live. He anxiously began biting into them. “Oh, thanks, Maple! You know I love your cookies so muchh! ♡＼(￣▽￣)~／♡” That’s a lie. Though they’re usually dark chocolate, as this blog has already stated, he’s been getting these so often that it might stop liking chocolate and cookies as a whole, a surprising feat despite their sweet tooth. But what choice does he have when it’s Maple?!

“Heeheee!! You’re welcome, Hiyori! Anytime!” Please make the time be never, in that case. Being given cookies should never have to be this stressful. “How about we walk a bit while I eat these cookies? Oh, and we can share if you’d like!”

“Hm? No, it’s fine Hiyori! Thank you though, hee hee!” “No, no! I insist! Nya!”

He jolted as she suddenly broke down sobbing. “Huu…! Hiyori,” She hiccuped as she continued, “do you not actually like my cookies..? DID YOU LIE TO ME?!” She unceremoniously transitioned to yelling viciously in anger.

Moedori gulped. “No, noo! Maple! Your cookies are great, almost as great as you yourself! I uh, just don’t want you to feel lonely since I’m the only one eating! See? I’m eating them, UwU!”

She grinned happily again, and it was almost as though she was releasing small hearts and sparkles into the air as she giggled. “Heehee! Really? Thank you, then!”

Moedori grinned back, desperately holding back a sigh of relief. 20 more cookies to go, then.

After a few minutes of talking, Moedori was absolutely stuffed with cookies, yet it had to keep on going. Just… 7 more. And then he’s free. They were currently seated at one of the sofas in the gallery, a few gruesome photos scattered on the walls. The rest of the photos were either scenery or photos of certain houses from afar. A few large spaces on the wall had been left blank on purpose, leaving room for paintings capturing the events of the death game they have been preparing so long for. He smiled up at them and bit into a cookie. “Nya.”

“Oh, that’s right! I nearly forgot!” Maple gasped and smiled widely. Oh god, oh no. What does she have planned now?! She continued, to his dismay. “Hiyori!! Do you want to go to a festival nearby?”

He blinked a couple of times and then knitted his brows together. “Huh? But I thought you were not allowed outside, nya? (・・ )~ ?”

“I managed to convince Meister to let me go, so Safalin prepared a more casual outfit for me!”

Oh dear god. Now he has to deal with her outside the facility, too. He swallowed his cookie and uttered a prayer under the ASU-NARO vow. “Oh, that sounds great, myaa!! ｡ﾟ･ (>﹏<)~ ･ﾟ｡ Though, I still have to prepare the dummies, and–”

His cookies barely clung onto the rim of the plate as she suddenly stood up and violently grabbed him by the collar. “ARE YOU SAYING WE’RE NOT GOING?! AFTER ALL THE STUFF I DID JUST TO GET READY FOR IT?!?!”

“…Ahaha. I’m just kidding!! When’s the festival…?”

A week later, Moedori gulps as they walk down the road in casual clothes, Maple giggling and humming by his side. For the love of moe, please keep her from destroying the place while they’re here.

“We’re here!!” Maple grinned and skipped ahead, turning to look at Moedori. It looked up to see the banner over her head. “The Tumblr Sexyman Tournament…?? Where did you just bring me??”

She tugged on his arm, forcing him to go along. “Come on, the festival’s starting!”

They walked in, and Moedori was at a loss for words. Stalls selling food or placing bets were around every corner, leaving a mix of aromas in the air. Banners and flags on strings were strung across the entire area, and posters persuading you to vote for people were being handed out every few steps. The strangest part about all this was that the people around them… Some of them were very, very obviously not people! He looked around him to see humanoid monsters, eldritch creatures, a literal floating triangle, walking cookies, and even a clock, all just normally hanging out and walking around the place.

Very cool! And very “what the hell!” Why did Maple even bother getting a more inconspicuous outfit?! They look even more conspicuous like this! Moedori could spin his head around and rocket punch someone, and everyone would walk past like it were nothing!

“Do you like it here so far?” She grinned. “It seems pretty fun so far, nya! Lively atmosphere…” He made eye contact with a metal ball with one blue light for an eye, who just continued rolling away. He began to wonder what’d happen if he decided to play soccer today but suppressed the idea. As fun as it might be to see how this sentient ball would react, he seemed to be a contestant here, so him going missing may become too major of an issue. Ahahaha…!

“But, uh. Where did you just take me? Σ(°ロ°)~” “It’s the Tumblr Sexyman Grand Tournament! Here, people vote for their favourite Tumblr Sexyman, and the one to end up with the most votes in the end wins!! I heard there’s been a lot of these votings going on recently, but this is the biggest one.”

It was almost as though electricity coursed through his robotic skull. So in its essence… A festival for a majority vote?

“Hah…” “…Huh?” “Hahaha…” “Hiyori?”

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!! Amazing, desu! It will never be as thrilling as our very own death game, but…!! OwO!! Festivals surrounding majority votes sound like the ideal practice I could’ve had, had that idiot Yabusame not interfered…! Nyaa!!”

A few meters away, a guy with no pupils who looks like he was told “be there or be square” and he wasn’t there nudged a twink with messy white hair and a green jacket. “Death game? Ey Komaeda, ‘re they with ya?”

“Hm? Oh, no. I’ve never seen those weirdos in such disgustingly regular outfits in my life. If they were in my world’s death games, they must’ve been some trash from the pathetic Reserve Course. Not that I’m not trash myself… Ahaha..” He began to hug himself strangely, and the quadrilateral being beside him shook his head. “Well, either way, you’re both cracked. Strange, he doesn’t seem to be a participant, either, though…”

Moedori calmed down for a moment before grabbing Maple by the arm and sprinting. “Come on, come on, myaaaa!! I wanna see the pawticipants! (✧ω✧)~/” She blushed and then grinned as she ran alongside him. “Heehee…! Okay!”

They got to the stage just in time for the announcer to reveal the contestants. He introduced each of them one by one, the audience roaring and clapping each time.

And then, the emcee got to a participant who caught his eye.

A short skeleton in a blue hoodie was eating a hotdog (magically without even opening his mouth) without a care on the stage. All the other participants showed off somehow in a flashy way when called, but this guy just waved and said, “sup.”

Moedori began to develop a strange feeling in the pit of their stomach. A feeling so familiar yet so different at the same time. It decided on a side project for his lovely little photo album, and a sadistic smile began to spread across his face.

Oh, how excited he is for this majority vote.

Round after round passed each day of the festival, and Moedori still felt so much joy through each and every vote, watching as the number of people on the stage get halved again and again, until there were all but 2 left. If it were in the context of a death game, that’d be crueller than their own, because here, only 1 would be allowed to live!

They arrived an hour early on the final day of the festival, now in their usual garments. Moedori felt a bit sick to the stomach from having to consume 4 stacks of pancakes for breakfast, all cooked by Maple, but nothing could crush his excitement now.

“Oh, Hiyori, look! They have ice cream! I’ll go get some for us, you go reserve us some spots!!” “Huh? Wait, Maple–” Aaand she’s gone. “Nyaaa… ”

“A catboy without the ears and tail? Well, that’s something you don’t see every day.” Moedori looked around for the source of the sound. “Sheesh, you’re tall. Hey, pal, come on. That hurts. Look down even just a little, won’t ya?”

Moedori looked down. It was that short skeleton in the blue hoodie! “Oh, sooorry! UwU!” The skeleton somehow seemed to furrow his eyebrows at the “UwU” but shrugged it off right after. “You sure do talk cutely despite having a joker breakdown just a few paragraphs ago.”

“Ahaha… My head will explode if I don’t. Nya.” “Yikes… That’s some pretty mind-blowing information.”

Moedori took a moment to process what he just said. That strange feeling he got from when he saw him get introduced on the first day of the festival came back for a moment, and he began to laugh.

“Damn. Why do a lot of the folks here love the jokes about danger?” “Maybe because danger is funny, UwU~! Ahahaha… Don’t mew just love da thrill you feel when your life is at stake? Though, my current situation is more humiliating than thrilling… qwq” “Dude. Sorry if this is a bit rude, but, uh… What are you talking about?” “Ahaha! Oh, nyathing. If I told you anything, I’d have to erase your memories right after, anyway, and that sounds like work. ù-ú” “…Okay? I guess I’ll forgeddabout it. Want a hotdog?”

Before Moedori could even consider his answer, the skeleton reached up and put a hotdog on his head, leaning over him. For a moment, his breath caught in his throat, and his robotic heartbeat quickened from its originally calm state. They blinked as he moved away from him, hotdog now nestled in his green hair. He snickered a bit. “Dog got your tongue?”

Moedori came back to his senses and then realised. Why was he suddenly taller than it? He looked down and saw a comically tall stool under the monster’s feet. “Heh. Convenient, right? One of my boyfriends gifted it to me. Real kicker when I’m messing with my bro.”

The doll’s world shattered into a million little pieces. But then, confusion began to slowly pick those tiny crumbs of glass back up. “Uhh… One of your boyfriends? Nya??”

“Hehe, yeah…” He grinned wider, glancing away for a second as though in thought. “This Tumblr Sexyman competition is also kinda one big polycule. I’m getting passed around like a hot potato, bud.”

Even Moedori-chan themself was confused as these words seemed to build part of him back up, like a sliver of sunshine through the cracks of the abyss. “Oh, I see… Ahaha… UwU!”

Before either of them could say anything else, a strange spark of yellow appeared beside them, and swirled around and grew in size before making a loud “pop!” as an ominous floating triangle appeared before them. He adjusted his hat and tie as it spoke. “Hey, bonehead! I think you’re forgetting a little something!” He reached his right hand out and through another dimension only for it to come back through his left side, now holding a flyer. The skeleton glanced at it. “Oh, whoops. I’m almost late for the final contestant showcase. Thanks, pal.”

“You’re welcome, bozo! I’m voting for Reigen, by the way.” “Same.”

The strange floating Dorito glanced at Moedori and in exactly 0.57 seconds, the yellow of his body changed and flickered, reflecting images of all of Moedori’s sins and the mutilated body parts he gave up to become a doll. It ended as suddenly as it began, the echo of screams still lingering in Moedori’s ears. Bill closed his eyes as though he were smiling and tipped his hat. “Haha, you’re a horrible person! I like this guy, skull-face. Seeya!” He then ripped the section of space-time he was floating in out of existence and disappeared.

“Well, you heard the man. Er, triangle-dude. I gotta blast.” The doll shattered a little once more. The hotdog still on his head seemed to droop in shared sadness. But he didn’t let it show too much. “Aww… I’m gonna vote for Reigen-san–whoever that is–by the way. Good luck, nya! ~(o´▽`o)ﾉ”

He chuckled. “Alright, I guess. See you ‘round, kid.” He hopped off the stool and brought it with him as he left.

A familiar voice came running back, holding two cones of ice cream with “Hiyori~! I got the ice cream–” She froze and paused for a moment, standing still in front of Moedori. “Uhh… Why is there a hotdog on your head?” “Oh, um… Ahaha. We match now! (♡°▽°♡)~”

And then came the final round.

“WELCOME TO THE FINALS.” The emcee announced. Moedori didn’t care to listen to the rest, he just wanted to proceed with the main dish; the voting.

That guy who Moedori believed to be named something along the lines of Ryan Arattata showed up looking like an absolute mess, with rings under his eyes and a dad bod. Moedori moecringed as it witnessed Ryan stuffing a sandwich in his mouth.

The crowd around him roared though, unexpectedly generating a positive reaction despite that dilf-twink’s actions. And suddenly, Moedori felt a wave of strange anxiety, a kind he wasn’t accustomed to feeling, especially towards others. Is this… Worry?

He panicked and looked at the shorter contestant, who was literally snoring while standing on the stage. The crowd cheered regardless, which woke him up with a start. “Huh? Uh, what?”

“Alright! Cast your votes now, and the winner will be announced within the next couple of hours!”

Moedori looked down at the voting site in his hands, beginning to sweat. He wants to vote for that Ryan douchebag. And yet… their finger quivers towards the image of the other contestant. “…Eugh. Have to..pick…o-o…..”

He presses on the screen. He looks up and watches the percentages displayed waiver with every vote it counts. He chews on the crunchy cone of his ice cream nervously as he watches the numbers change, as though the votes themselves were battling viciously.

Hours ticked by, and finally, they were displayed on the large led screen on the stage.

“AND WITH THAT, SANS UNDERTALE HAS OFFICIALLY BEEN CROWNED ULTIMATE TUMBLR SEXYMAN”

A breath they didn’t know they were holding in released itself. A strong feeling of relief washed over them. Just one vote… changed it all. Logic or Emotion. Reigen or Sans.

He heard a strange buzzing noise and turned to his side. Maple was quietly slumped into her seat. Did she run out of battery? He reached a hand over to check but jolted as she suddenly spoke. “Hiyori… Did I hear that right?”

“…Huh?” On the stage before them, the monster himself was getting his medal and sash. Meanwhile, Ryan was on the floor a few meters away in the family guy death pose, a 14-year-old boy crouched beside him.

“Did… Reigen lose?” The green-haired doll began to sweat. Something about Maple’s tone was off. “Yeah? Ahaha, did you vote for him or something? uwu”

She raised her head. Moedori froze. Her eyes are bright red.

Something black began to protrude from her back and destroy everything it touched. Moedori quickly stood from its seat. Maple began to quiver and shake in fury as the crowd began to step back. She let out a scream.

“REIGENSWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!!”

Strange black arms wrecked the entire area, smashing everything in their way. Moedori’s smile became a very nervous one as he began to step backwards. He was quickly able to dodge most of the attacks, but then they cornered him, and–

It all happened so fast. First, a bright blue light, next, he was suddenly backstage. He opened his robotic eyes to see that skeleton. He had a crown hanging off his head now, as well as a medal and sash to match. “Hey bud, you alright? That friend of yours seems, uh.. pretty unhappy with the results, huh?” We peeked from behind the wall to see people running in all directions like in that scene in Ratatouille, with Maple in the centre of the destruction.

“I’m alright, thanks. She’ll run out of battery eventually, owO… I left my ID card, too, so even I can’t stop her in this state, ahaha… Nya.” “Oh, she’s also a robot or something?” “Mhm. One of a kind! …Meister’s gonna kill me, myaaa..” “I think she might kill the public, first… Ight, gimme a sec. Hup!” He ran out before Moedori could even stop him. Wait, stop him? There it is again. That weird anxiety… That feeling of worry.

Why was he worried? Because he’d rather kill him with his own hands? No… Is it that..

They want him to live? To succeed?

Moedori couldn’t wrap its head around the very idea of it. Yet, he had no time to ponder it, either. He watched with a clenched fist as Sans stood before the most dangerous obstructor: Maple.

He stood there silently in front of Maple as they stared each other down, Maple lifted several feet into the air by the black arms. She began to glitch, electricity buzzing around her.

“Congratulations, Sans! Reigen lost… IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN HIM!! But I’m happy for you! I can’t believe it. KILL DIE KILL!!!”

Sans began to chuckle darkly. “Hey, kid. I don’t really wanna do this, but.. I can’t really let you go around hurting my friends. So, really sorry about this next thing I’m gonna do, bucko.”

Everyone went quiet as a blue light began to glow in the area around the monster. Bones of blue and white began to appear everywhere, as well as strange skulls in the sky. He opened his eyes, revealing one electric blue eye. Boss music began to play.

He raised his arm, and… Threw a hotdog at her. It made a squeaky noise.

Maple stared at it on the ground and blinked in silence. The boy in the blue hoodie shrugged comically. “Well, guess I tried.”

“Hotdog… A-ah!! Hiyori!!!” She gasped, her eyes returning to their normal green. Her black arms hid themselves, and she began to run around looking for me.

“Oh my god, that actually worked.” The skeleton began to grin and hold back victorious laughter. Moedori stepped out from his hiding spot, and Maple gasped and ran towards them. She clung to it, and he had no choice but to accept it if he wanted to live. “Wahh! Hiyoriiii!! I’m so sorry, I could’ve hurt you!”

“It was a close call, ahaha… u-u!! That short guy in the blue hoodie saved me, though, nya.” She moved away to look Moedori in the eye. “Huh? Who, that guy?” She pointed at someone with his hands in his hoodie pockets.

“No, that’s Steven still surviving. I’m talking about Steven After Not Surviving.” He directed her hand to the skeleton just a few feet away from the last Steven, who was in the exact same pose.

“Oh! …Wait, Sans Undertale saved you?!” “His name is Sans Undertale? ∑(O_O;)~” “Hehe, yeah… Guess I forgot to introduce myself, huh?” We turned to see him already right beside us. “Ehh?!??#(_!#? Well, I think I forgot too, nya… You can call me Moedori, uwu!!”

“Sorry about earlier, Sans…” “Nahh, it’s alright. That was a pretty smashing first impression.” Maple’s eyes widened for a moment before closing with a smile. “Heehee! You’re funny… You’re a very nice person, Sans. I can see why people voted for you.” In the distance, Ryan fell to his knees and threw up.

“Aw, shucks. You can really make a guy feel special. Whay can I say, I’m a bit of a Sans-ation.” She giggled happily again. “My name’s Maple, by the way!”

“Sans Undertale. Nice ta meetcha.” They shook hands, while Moedori adjusted his scarf out of boredom. It furrowed their brows and reached up to the top of their head. The hotdog was still there.

“Huh? Maple?? Hey, buddy?” The floormaster looked back to see Maple’s eyes getting dim, Sans patting her.

“Hi..Hiyori…” She began to fall over, but Moedori caught her by the arm. “Aw. She ran out of battery… (μ_μ)” “Darn… No powerbank or sumthin'?” “Ahaha… The charger itself is so big, I attached a drink machine to it for fun, uwu~!” “Cool.” “Right? Ahaha… Nya.”

It was a bit quiet for a while. They found a small kiddie car at one of the stalls renting them out and seated Maple in it, not forgetting the seatbelt. They walked in silence.

The sun was beginning to set as they left the festival with their stolen kid’s car. The road was quiet, with few people around, making it way easier to keep people from seeing Moedori dragging Maple’s cart.

“So… You voted for me, huh?” Moedori nearly jolted. How did he know? “Huh? I voted for Ryan-san.” “Hate to break it to ya, but, uh. I kinda saw you vote for me. And even if I didn’t see that and you did vote for Reigen, you would’ve been upset alongside Maple. I can tell you’re not one to accept defeat just like that. I mean, it’s practically written all over you, bud.”

Moedori stayed quiet for a while.

“Heh.” “Welp, here we go again.” “Haha. Hahahahahahaha! You’re really interesting, nya~!! Making stuff up for no reason… And even if I did vote for you, so what? (￣ヘ￣)~” “So what? Good question… Well, for one thing, it’d make me a bit happy if you did.” “…Nya? ..Why?” “Well. You’re pretty cute, for someone who’s had 2 joker breakdowns in the span of less than 4383 words.”

Moedori froze in place. Sans laughed, though it was obvious he was slightly nervous. “I can tell you’re not very used to this kind of thing, though. You’ve lied several times just to hide it… But that’s okay, too.”

It was quiet again, though with a very different vibe from the last silence. Moedori finally looked up.

“So, uh… Got any room in that polycule, nya?” “Heh. Welcome aboard, bucko.”

[lokiinmediasideblog]

sigyn stans are one of the most thin skinned people on the internet and they don't realize no one would mind their bland fave if they weren't the ones shoving her down everyone's throats, putting down other loki love interests to prop her up as the only one who can love him right, throwing fits when she's absent from loki media as if the actual myth sigyn wasn't a very minor character that only appears in one myth, and finding ways to shoehorn her in every loki story ever even when she wouldn't fit. then they have the gal of acting like people being fed with her and her stans is misogyny or feeling threatened by her non existent presence, with a side of projection in accusing those who dislike her of wanting their self insert oc to bang loki instead when sigyn is the ultimate self insert oc. like, cmon, you can't claim that you ship loki and sigyn because you like the way their personalities match when sigyn canonically doesn't have one (unless you consider "misogynistic to other women" a personality)

Exactly, and this is to clarify for those lacking context, I am talking about Marvel's Sigyn. Interpret the myths however you want.

Being misogynistic to other women and ridiculously unintelligent and waifish caricature of women (she was given a way out on a silver platter and everyone was begging her to take it) are her only personality traits. Marvel's Sigyn was written by cishet white men that thought it was "saintly" to stay with abusers. I really hate how it's treated as "saintly" rather than as a neutral trait. By that definition, I am also "a saint" due to past experiences. I will never get over j*nquilcl*gane praising Marvel Sigyn slut-shaming Amora and Lorelei, and Sigyn being glad that Amora is being given off to a giant forcefully in "Ages of Thunder."

Also, if you look that user up on Tumblr (I think her blocking me, allowed this to show up in the top results lol), she harrassed an RP blog for shipping comics-based Doomki in and was very gross about it. The way she constantly accuses everyone that doesn't care for their prop of a character as "lusting over Loki" is nasty and disgusting.

I got accused of "lusting over Loki" for pointing out that Vali being considered Loki's son is a transcription error and thus he's actually Odin's son (so she's not accurate either), and asking why she's losing her shit over people using myth-based names for children OCs for their ships. Also, she just makes shit up such as "Sigyn is associated with foxes."

Like I love Loki, like yes, he's pretty, but I just project traumas onto him and like reading meta and fic about him. And I'd be very disappointed in TH if he dared to think of cheating on ZA with me.

I have no idea why I could see her replies to my submission to an ask blog (seems like they finally posted it lol, took a long time, it was in response to someone complaining about Ikol for "having their friends beat up Sigyn" when Sigyn and the exes tied him up to hang from the ceiling of a warehouse, and attacked Ikol's friends).

Example of a Sygin stan being gross to a Doomki RP blog:

[al-dante]

Interview No.0 - Dante

[The footage starts with them both in what seems to be a truck. The interior of the bus is unkempt, with articles of clothing and empty food containers on the floor.]

Montgomery: “I’m excited. Are you? I mean, nobody has a chance like this one. I’m practically shaking, lookit.”

[The camera pans to one of Montgomery’s trembling hands, while the other held a microphone and a notepad.]

Montgomery: “Are you recording right now? Come on, you’re gonna waste the footage!”

Camera Man: [Unintelligible]

Montgomery: “Lucky. Not rich. I hadn’t tested the luck that far, yet. Tell you what, after all this, let’s go get a lottery ticket. We'll see how far my luck goes, alright?”

[The camera footage cuts before starting again in a dilapidated area. It seems to be the Backstreets of District 4. Montgomery and the Camera Man cautiously approach what seems to be a large train. It’s covered in blood.]

Montgomery: “So those rumors were true… That’s insane. Who could drive this thing into a crowd of people and sleep peacefully at night?”

[There's a noise of people in distress. There’s a sudden flash of light, and it goes quiet for a few moments. The camera adjusts accordingly.]

[The camera abruptly cuts again. It starts again, now with a little lost context, but Montgomery still manages to catch the other man off guard.]

Montgomery: “G-Good evening, sir…! I'm Montgomery with Ladybug News. We're here for the scheduled interview with you. Are you Dante?”

Dante: <Oh- That was today? Hold on- Er... Hello. Yes, that’s me. It is a pleasure to meet you.>

Montgomery: “Are you busy right now? We can come back later.”

Dante: <No, no. That won't be necessary. Let us speak in private… As private as we can be, out here.>

[Dante leans against the blood-soaked train. It makes a slight squish sound. It disgusts everyone, but they continue anyway.]

Montgomery: “... Well, thank you for agreeing to this interview. Everyone has been curious about the new company ever since the previous fall of L Corp.”

Dante: <You’re welcome. I am happy to clear up anyone’s suspicions about the Company. We are always happy to answer any questions people have about us, what we do, and what our company is all about. With that, you may begin when you are ready.>

Montgomery: “Of course, of course. You're one executive manager of a branch we were able to get a hold of. And... Well, tell me about yourself, Dante. We'd love to get to know you!”

Dante: <Alright, let me see. I am the executive manager of Limbus Company. I am one of many executive managers in my sector. My job is to direct my team as they go through the ruins of the fallen previous corporation to get resources and EGO equipment.>

[Dante pulls out a small first aid kit from his coat to show off to both Montgomery and the Camera Man. He quickly puts it away.]

Dante: <I also carry bandages with me at all times in order to help take care of my crew. How’s that?>

Montgomery: “Wow, you sound like you care deeply about your employees.”

Dante: <Well, I do. It’s more than just money and profits to me. Of course, should they need it, I can also be very strict with them. That comes with being the executive manager of the company.>

Montgomery: “Good to hear. Why did you join Limbus Company?”

Dante: <... I don’t remember.>

Montgomery: “You don’t?”

[The hands on Dantes's clock face spin rapidly once before speaking again.]

Dante: <This was the only place that would hire me. Next question.>

[Montgomery awkwardly looks back at the camera before continuing on.]

Montgomery: “Okay... Tell us about your education.”

Dante: <I have a Communication Degree.>

Montgomery: “Fancy. What for? Did you plan to work in media?”

Dante: <I wanted to be an actor.>

Montgomery: “Elaborate on that a little bit.”

Dante: <No.>

Montgomery: “... Alright. These next questions should be less extreme. What are your thoughts on your employees? Do you have any favorites, being the manager and all?”

Dante: <Hmmmm, my favorites? I’d have to say I have a few. My favorite sinners are… Yi Sang, Don Quixote, and Faust. They are some of the most trustworthy sinners I have ever worked with so far and I truly enjoy spending time with them. I also enjoy spending time with Ishmael and Rodion during off-time, as they both are a good company to speak with. Of course, I love all my employees equally, these are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head.>

Montgomery: “How do the others describe you?”

Dante: <Well, my employees have a lot of different opinions about me. I try my best to take good care of all of them. I am either hated, loved, or respected by my sinners, and they all have different descriptions of me, if you ask them.>

Montgomery: “We're planning on holding interviews with the other sinners. Do you have any advice on how to talk to them?"

Dante: <Advice… Er… Don’t overstep your boundaries. Even I don’t know how to speak with them most of the time.>

Montgomery: “Thank you for agreeing to our interview on such short notice! We'll inform you when we release this to the public.”

Dante: <It is my pleasure to have been the one interviewed! I hope that the public sees us in a more positive light when the interview has been shared. With that said, it has been an honor to be able to answer your questions.>

[Montgomery looks over to something off-camera. He looks unnerved.]

Dante: <Is something wrong?> 

Montgomery: “Um... That guy with the red gaze staring at us... Is he with you?”

[Dante looks over, the camera quickly pans to look over at the said man. The man quickly looks away.]

Dante: <That’s just Vergilius.>

Montgomery: “He looks terrifying.”

Dante: <He means no harm.>

Montgomery: “We should get going.”

Dante: <Would you like to speak with him? I’m sure he has something to say- >

Montgomery: “No- No. Thank you, we’re good.”

[The recording abruptly stops here.]

[jabberwondia]

you are mine, and i am yours

Kalim Al-Asim x GN Reader. One-shot, fluffy and heartwarming. More than friends, not yet lovers setting. Minor mention of events during chapter 4 (no big spoilers). Use of Japanese words (only "senpai") because I am a huge weeaboo who loves the language, so please ignore if that's not your cup of tea. Otherwise, enjoy!

Water.

The thought jolts you awake. The embrace of the weaving wind, sweeping in from the balcony, feels cool against your skin – a stark contrast with the rising morning sun. You glide through the cotton sheets, kicking the crimson silk quilt aside, to find one single glass on top of the bedside table. It’s been deliberately placed there for your convenience, and as you chug the lukewarm liquid, you realize you’re not exactly where you’re supposed to be.

Unlike your mossy, creaking, humid Ramshackle Dorm, the room that expands before your eyes is dry, vast, and bright as the dawn itself. There are no windows, only pillars that lead to a lower terrace; and in the distance, you can hear the fluttering of birds and the gushing of the Scarabia fountain.

...no, that’s not all your ears pick up. To the side, on a sofa, a quiet, sigh-like breathing. Tangled into himself, limbs all sprawled out, beneath velour sheets and a lightweight turban, is Kalim Al-Asim.

Wait, what!?

If the first wake-up call had been your desperate thirst for water, the second was the now blazing feeling building up in your chest, alongside a thousand questions. How did this happen? Did we...? No, no way, right? He’d never...!

Your zonked out brain tries to recall last night, but all you can remember is the dancing, the laughing, the singing, the baklava, and then the falling asleep in the common room – and yes, you are sure of it, because you certainly had sunk into the lounge carpet, succumbing to exhaustion after a delightful Scarabian soiree. Kalim had plopped down close by, if memory served you right – he’d been doting on you (and by extension Grim) all night long, in a way that made it hard to distinguish if his intentions were platonic; teaching you how to shimmy your shoulders for a traditional Scalding Sands dance, bringing the best and sweetest parts of their dessert buffet to the both of you, and just in general keeping you company. But as extroverted and unwittingly flirtatious the boy could get, he’d only go as far as a polite arm across your shoulders, and mostly in the context of dancing, so you never minded.

Yet there you were in Kalim’s room. Sleepwalking? Not that you were aware of, so something or someone must have taken you there. Grim is nowhere to be seen, and you start to get impatient and fearful. Suddenly, the doors smack wide open, and your heart does a summersault.

“You’re awake, I see,” Jamil announces flatly, with his notorious nonchalance. “Come. Breakfast is served.”

It seems the panic and confusion are seeping out of your face, through your eyes, unable to control your own facial expressions – because Jamil takes one look at you and chuckles ever so lightly. “Don’t worry. I’ll explain over food. Let’s go,” he insists.

Not like you have any other choice, so you follow. Kalim, however, mumbles unintelligibly in his sleep, switches sides and continues his uninterrupted slumber. His retainer is less than amused; and breathes out an exasperated groan while muttering something that sounds like “Let him be.”

Through the Scarabia hallways, students are starting to come to their senses; perhaps, woken up by the delicious smell of fresh herbs and piping-hot tea. The lounge is as if no-one had partied in it exactly the night before – you wonder if this is also product of Jamil waking up early to make preparations. Does he even sleep? He seems as sharp as ever, not a hint of tiredness in his dark, taciturn eyes. Unlike Kalim, Jamil takes no pleasure or joy in serving you food; but as it is his duty, he does pour you tea and set up a few plates close to you, just to watch you eat and drink in silence, eyebrows slightly upturned.

“Jamil-senpai. Please, say something,” you beckon.

“Hah. Sorry,” he smirks, hand hiding his mouth. The upperclassman had this habit, you noticed, of obscuring his face, whether it’d be with cloaks or his slender fingers, especially when he had unsaid thoughts. “Your dismay is all too entertaining.”

“Not to me!” you counter.

“Well, I’d love to give you peace of mind,” he continues. “But truth is, only you two know what happened behind closed doors.”

“Hey, no more teasing! You said you’d explain over food!”

“Ah, right. I did say that, didn’t I.” Jamil purses his lips while filling his own tea – the only empty cup remaining at the table. He always left himself for last. “He brought you up to his room when you were already asleep. Said something about the lounge being unsafe.”

“... that is even more confusing. I don’t get it.”

“Is my answer not to your liking? You should ask the guy himself, then.”

Kalim’s sleeping face flashes through your mind. His heavy eyelids, glistering skin – not a hint of self-awareness, completely defenseless. You’d heard that he’d been the victim of kidnappings and murder attempts in the past, and yet his slumber was like that of a child, never alert, always welcoming. It must be his trust in Jamil and his dorm students, which remained unwavering even after the incident last winter. His exuberant confidence and blind faith are the things you liked most about him, as his smile had the power to disarm even the highest walls. But then, what had he meant about the lounge being unsafe?

You must have gotten lost in your thoughts for way too long, as Jamil stifles a laugh again.

“Uh... I...” You struggle to form even the easiest sentence, your mind still lost betwixt sleep and the red-eyed boy.

“Relax. It’ll all work out,” Jamil insists, and you can’t help but wince at how empty and unconvincing those comfort words sound. “I don’t suppose you’re worried, but if anything, Kalim is not the type.”

“—the type to what?” You feel yourself blushing all over, cursing your cheeks for being too obvious.

“Hmm,” the second-year purrs, lowering his voice as he stands up. “I’ll leave you to think about that for yourself, Prefect.”

/////////////////////////////////

Just before the clock strikes eleven AM, there is a small commotion within the Scarabian dorm students, as they stop their brunch feasting to stand up in turn and call, “Good morning!”. You quickly understand this announces the arrival —or rather, the awakening of the Housewarden, who is smiling while returning the greetings, turban undone, and cheeks still marked red by the stitches of the sofa cushions.

“Y/N! Sleep well?”

“Kalim-senpai!” your body jolts straight upward at the sound of his voice calling you. “I... yes.”

The boy, however, seems completely unaware of your change in attitude. “Good to hear! Hey, lemme know whenever you need a ride back to Ramshackle, okay? Carpet and I will give you a lift.”

Is he feigning obliviousness? Does he not know? Yet someone had placed that glass of water there for you. Unless it had always been Kalim’s originally – then — had you two indirectly kissed!?

Taking a deep breath, you try to still your thoughts. “Thank you,” you say, while neatly collecting and piling up the plates you just ate in, almost as if preparing to leave. “I’d like to stay, but... Grim might be worried...” You trail off as soon as you see the evident disappointment in the young Housewarden’s face. It’s no wonder Jamil always struggles with him – the transparency in his every expression made it very hard to deny Kalim of anything. “Ah, I mean, I can still –”

“–Prefect! It’s okay,” the boy smiles. “Don’t want to keep Grim waiting, right? Come with me then!”

Kalim picks up a tea to go (much to Jamil’s dismay, “Don’t you go spilling that!”), and firmly grabs your hand. You really wish he wouldn’t, as the onlooking crowd of dorm students is now smirking and whispering amongst themselves – but there is no reasoning with the Asim heir once he’s made up his mind, and he proceeds to drag you back into the treasure room, where Magic Carpet awaits.

/////////////////////////////////

One kick and you are airborne. It’s hard to get used to the feeling – sure, flying brooms were a part of your everyday life now, but carpets were kind of pushing the envelope. And still, as unbelievable as it sounded, there you were, soaring through the sky into the late morning sun, and Kalim’s bared arms are getting goosebumps as they feel the nip of the frigid air that comes with the height.

For a while, you are both quiet, and painstakingly so. It’s rare for the Scalding Sands native to be anything but talkative and cheerful, but then again, it’s still been less than an hour since he woke up and he might be somnolent still.

“Senpai,” you call. “I’ve been meaning to ask.”

Kalim can’t fully turn around, as he’s focused on navigating the Carpet, but he does glance over his shoulder expectantly. “Yeah, what’s up?”

“I-I don’t know how to say this, but,” you gulp. “Did I sleepwalk to your bed?”

“Oh. Oh!” In what may or may not be an act – you’re not sure, but Kalim does honestly seem like he now remembered. “Sorry, sorry!” he grins. “Gave you quite a scare, didn’t I? Suppose anyone would be confused. Just thought you’d be comfier in my room.”

Kalim pauses for a second, eyes fixed on the horizon. You wonder if he is adjusting the course for your dorm, or perhaps looking for the right words to say. His fingers glide through the fabric, lightly tugging at the Magic Carpet’s tufts. While it sits two comfortably, you can’t help but notice the closeness of your bodies – the only source of heat in the otherwise chilly and cloudy skyscape; and how you’re instinctively pulling at the dangling end of his crimson turban, the golden coins attached to it chiming softly in the wind, as if you’d be able to hang on to it if you ever lost your balance. The sole intrusive and horrible thought of losing your grip and falling activates your wincing reflex, and makes you scooch over closer to the piloting Housewarden.

“After the party, after we all fell asleep in the lounge,” he goes on. “I woke up in the middle of the night for some water.”

Water. That seemed to be the connecting thread through both of your stories.

“And, uh...” the boy smiles softly, a little embarrassed at the memory. His hand shifts, now caressing the white hairs at his nape, almost absent-mindedly. “There was this guy who had fallen asleep on your legs.”

“On my legs,” you repeat like a confounded parrot who had been force-fed one too many salt crackers. “W-what do you mean?”

“I dunno. I think he fell over, or maybe he turned in his sleep. Maybe?”

“O-oh.” You are slowly trying to paint the mental picture. “You mean, like, hugging my legs?”

Kalim shrugs. The details to him were never important. “Maybe it was more with his head on your thighs. It was dark, so I couldn’t see well.”

He again looks at you, as much as his body can turn. The garnet shades in his eyes sparkle in the midday sun, so brightly you can almost see your reflection. Is he blushing, or is it the crisp air that blows at the high altitude you’re in, that erodes the skin on his cheeks ever so slightly?

“It’s the first time in my life I’ve ever felt jealous. Ahaha!” his laugh echoes clearly through the sky. “Sorry, Prefect. It’s not a lie that I thought you’d be more comfortable in my bed, but the truth is, I just didn’t want to share you.”

He averts his gaze, suddenly realizing that his statement meant Kalim considered you his in the first place. That was a lot to take in. Your gut clenches, and not because of the Carpet’s sudden descent.

“—oh, but!” he gushes, back to his usual cheerfulness. “I don’t think that student did it on purpose! Must have been an accident. Y’know, people move in their sleep,” his expression changed again, now brows frowned with worry, and you smiled a bit at the upperclassman’s ability to show six different emotions in the same breath, “Please do come to the next party! It wouldn’t be as fun without you.”

In the distance, the Ramshackle Dorm is now visible. It’s incredible how fast time would fly – pun intended – whenever he would drop you off after a soiree. Truth be told, these sorts of happenings were becoming commonplace lately.

“Prefect?” Kalim calls again, concerned at your silence. “You’re not gonna say you hate Scarabia now — are you? —wait, do you?”

“Of course not!” You assure him. “I had lots of fun. Please, invite me again.”

“That’s a relief! I’m so glad!” he says. “Oh hey, how about tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow is maybe a little too soon, senpai.”

“Ah, haha! I thought so! No shame in trying though.”

Magic Carpet softly wobbles, now floating leisurely through the air currents for the last couple minutes of the trip. It stops just before the Ramshackle Dorm’s creaky wooden doors, barely a few feet above the ground, and Kalim jumps off before you.

“Here, let me help you down.”

His warm hands gently support your weight by your elbows as you slide off – it seems most of the callouses and scratches on his fingers are fairly new, as he had never been allowed to wield knives or experiment with alchemy or play rough until he was finally granted to be able to go to school – normal school, and not one of those tutors that resided in the Asim palace. Here was an heir who had everything, yet he had only started living two years prior. And in all the weirdness of your travels in Wonderland, and the improbability of you falling through the mirror into this magical world, Kalim’s kindliness had saved you more than once. But smitten as you might be, even his hands reminded you that you were from two worlds apart, in more ways than one.

“Thank you, Carpet,” you turn around to say, which makes the enchanted tapestry twirl around in what looks like a reverential bow.

“Hey, that’s really cool of you. A lot of people treat Carpet like an object,” Kalim muses out loud, “But they have feelings, too. I consider them my prized friend.”

You still fondly remember the first flight, that winter you spent trapped in Scarabia. The boy with wide eyes and a wider smile, dazzling in the night sky. The same one who is now in front of you, still a bit self-conscious about his words earlier – you being his, and all that. If only a simple unmagical human like yourself could believe themselves worthy of a cheerful, honest, open-hearted, and to top it all off, magic-wielder like Kalim...

“Sorry – about the ‘not sharing’ non-sense earlier. You’re not an object, either,” he babbles on, his eyebrows now sulking. “I mean, obviously. Obviously, you’re not. Great going there, me...”

“If that means that I am also your prized friend,” you reply, “then I’m content.”

“Prefect! That goes without saying.” Kalim is beaming, smile too bright. “Anything you need – I’ll be there for you!”

“I know.”

You force a grin, but it’s bittersweet. To think you’d be carried in your sleep, tucked into a silk quilt, prepared a bedside glass of water by the very same heir who has servants at his every whim. The more you thought about it, the further out of reach he appeared, and the stronger your chest quivered.

“Hey. Hey, what’s wrong?” Kalim now has his hands cupping your cheeks, pulling your chin up, forcing to look at him. “I know that face! That is not a very happy face.”

“Shenpai,” you grumble through, unable to speak properly as the boy won’t let you go. “Shtop—”

“—not until you smile,” he pouts, so you oblige. His hands trail down to your shoulders, and while a part of you wants to head through the door into the dorm, running away from the butterflies in your stomach, the other half of you wants time to stop so you can etch this image into your mind: the sight of Kalim, head slightly tilted towards you, ruby eyes with heavy lids, staring at yours in adoration while he unknowingly tightens his grip and pulls you closer.

“See? Better.”

His lips press a kiss on your forehead, and you can feel a warm sigh escape them; the soft skin of his exposed neck; and his distinct scent, woody oriental perfume mixed with the cardamom tea he had earlier; skin that was always rubicund with warmth, no matter the outside temperature. The gesture says more than words ever could – you are mine, and I am yours; even though it might take you both a bit more time to be able to express it out loud. He stays there for a moment, mouth perfectly still but still flushed against you, just under the edge of your headline; now his fingers obliviously play with your hair, tucking it behind your reddened ears, tugging a bit at the lobes, just eager to caress you as much as he is allowed to. Inside Kalim's mind, he would like to confess here and now, perhaps; but he feels love declarations are to be made with parades and at least 75 golden camels and 60 elephants, so anything less would not suffice. For now, he is satisfied to simply have you there, melting into his collarbone and not shying away — for now, that is enough.

“Rest up today, alright?” Kalim takes a step back, and for a second you’re worried he might act as if nothing had happened, but you’re surprised to find he’s blushing just as much as you are. “And say hi to Grim for me.”

“I will,” you assure him. The Magic Carpet slides in behind him, and naturally, like Kalim’s got eyes on the back of his head and knows exactly where to land, he sits on the floating wonder, but his gaze doesn’t leave you.

“I’ll see you to the door.”

“Senpai. We’re already at the door.”

“Yeah — no, I know. I want to make sure you get in safe. That’s kind of silly, isn’t it? Heh,” he chuckles sheepishly, in a way that’s a bit uncharacteristic of him.

“You say that like it’s the middle of the night! It’s noon!”

“Aw, c’mon! Humor your upperclassman, just this once.”

Sighing and chuckling at the same time, you reach for the handle, and the wood-framed entrance groans open. Your knees feel weak, and your chest feels light all of a sudden – struggling still to process what had happened, but grinning from ear to ear.

“Take care, senpai.”

“See you later, my love.”

You realize shortly thereafter, as the heavy doors close behind you, that this is the second time Kalim has called you his – though it surely won’t be the last.

[frodo-with-glasses]

Audiobook Review: “Treebeard”

KING TREE TIME ahem I’m very excited :-D

At first I was confused by how much splashing I heard for Pippin taking a drink, but I figure that’s also supposed to represent the hobbits bathing their feet and legs as well.

There is something musical and nearly unintelligible about Pippin saying “the Great Place of the Tooks away back in the Smials at Tuckborough” in his high Scottish accent. I think I love it, but also I had to listen to it twice to catch what he was saying. 🤣🤣

“Low.” LOL could you have rasped any deeper, Dragash??

“Hul-lo! :-D” Aww he sounds like he just saw an old friend he recognized! I guess that is an appropriate reaction to the sun after a long, harrowing night.

Treebeard: “Almost felt you liked the Forest! That’s good! That’s uncommonly kind of you.” Me, immediately, upon hearing his voice: OH HECK YEAH LET’S GOOOOOOO!!

I wish y’all could have seen the HUGE grin on my face at the exact second I heard the echo and the woody resonance to his voice. I was so nervous that the Treebeard voice wouldn’t be any good (because replicating the sound of playing a recording through a wooden box and re-recording it on the other side would be Rather Complicated at best), but hearing that iconic boom and rumble dispelled ALL of my doubts 🤩

HE EVEN DOES THE SPEAKING-THROUGH-THE-INHALE THING. AAAAAAAAHHHHH

And the sounds of creaking and rustling tree branches in the background! HECK yes!!

Oh dude I love how musically the Ent-Speak is interpreted. It seems almost like a song, even when Treebeard isn’t singing!

“Treebeard repeated the words thoughtfully.” [In the background: “Step…shelf…hill…”]

LOL Treebeard’s laugh sounds like the stock villain laugh, but I guess it’s just because it’s so deep and booming.

Noises for the lights?? Noises for the lights.

Aaaahhhh the whimsical theme when they drink the Ent-Draught!! Dragash is well aware of how adorable this scene is, and he leans into it!

I love how parts of Treebeard’s dialogue is pronounced exactly as it was in the movies. “Nobody cares for the woods” is said in the same high, wistful tone as in the movie, and then drops back down for “as I do”. It’s a lovely little nod to the films, even though these lines are usually in very different contexts.

“Treebeard rumbled for a moment, as if he were pronouncing some deep, subterranean Entish malediction.” [Cue Treebeard noises in the background]

Duuuuude the noises when Treebeard stands up and thumps his hand on the table have such weight. 0_o Makes you feel like you’d be nervous to be around something as powerful and angry as that. Even the vessels sending up “two jets of flame” has a noise like shattering glass. Daaaang.

Noises for the water falling off of Treebeard?? Noises for the water falling off of Treebeard!

Okay there keeps being this noise that I thiiink is a branch creaking, but it always sounds like a squeaky fart and I can’t unhear it 🤣🤣

So I listened to the first half of this chapter while making dinner, and by the time I got to the song of the Ent and the Ent-Wife I was almost done eating. It was extremely cozy, listening to Treebeard sing in his low, booming voice, like being a little kid again and sitting on your grandfather’s lap as he reads you a bedtime story and tries not to fall asleep himself.

I imagine that Merry and Pippin listened much the same way that I did; eating, or rather drinking, until their supper was finished, and then—when it was clear that there was still a lot more of the slow, pleasant song left to go—through silent agreement nestling in to rest against the fern bed and daydream, Merry sitting upright and staring with eyes half-lidded at the lights on the ceiling, and Pippin with his head in his lap, nearly asleep, as Merry cards his fingers through his hair.

And then the song ends and they sit up again, drawn back to the waking world.

I find it really funny that the musical theme used for the Ents here is the suspenseful, almost tribal drumming that happens in the movie when Merry and Pippin first encounter Treebeard. The point of that score is to make you nervous, wondering what new danger the hobbits have just run into after escaping from the orcs; but here, it just means “ah, yes, the narration here concerns Ents”.

QUICKBEAM HAS A VOICE. AAAAAAHHHH I’M IN LOVE 🤩

He sounds—well, younger than Treebeard, for sure, but still sturdy and mature. If Treebeard is the kindly grandfather, then Quickbeam is the fun older uncle who tells the best stories.

It’s SO WEIRD to hear the Ent audio editing on a voice other than Treebeard’s tho. SO WEIRD. It’s like “WAAH YOUNG TREEBEARD WHERE DID THAT COME FROM”.

“O Orofarne, Lassemista, Carnimirie!” Bro that is GORGEOUS in Quickbeam’s echoing voice, holy COW

HECK YES HECK YES THE SOPRANO BOY’S CHOIR THEME FROM THE MOVIES HECK YES HECK YES

AAAAAAAHHHHHH THE CHILLSSSSSS

Needless to say I think this is my favorite chapter in the audiobook so far 🤩