#i love costco so much you have no idea
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naos-camera · 10 months ago
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I love making toast! now my whole apartment smells like toast and it’s so yummy! yay toast!
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honeytonedhottie · 10 months ago
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how to be rich and luxurious⋆.ೃ࿔*:・🌺
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we must first understand that being rich is a state of mind. you could be broke and not poor. never poor. poor is a state of mind. and that choice that u make to be rich or poor is ultimately yours cuz u control ur thoughts.
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so how do we radiate luxury and become luxurious? through having luxurious thoughts. we know that what we think manifests so lets think things that make us richer in every aspect of our lives. 
LUXURY IS AN ENERGY ; 
when you exude the energy of luxury, YOU’LL ALWAYS BE LUXURIOUS. the luxury that u exude will manifest. thoughts manifest. have luxurious thoughts -> a luxurious reality WILL manifest. its rly that simple ✨
CULTIVATING LUXURY ENERGY ; 
u cultivate luxury energy, like i mentioned before, through luxury thoughts. but if ur not used to thinking luxury thoughts/have a lack or poverty mindset, here are some affirmations to start and guide thinking. 
im grateful that im so abundant and rich in the things that i love
im like barbie cuz i have more then enough of everything
i have SO much, that i can bless others with my riches
i live my life lavishly
you can cultivate luxury by doing things that make u feel rich and luxurious. some things that help me to feel that way are. 
drinking drinks from a designated cup or wine-glass 
silky robes are EVERYTHING. or wearing lingerie and matching bra and panty sets
consistently practicing self care every single day 
wearing jewelry 
ofc everyone has different things that make them feel rich and different classifications for what luxury is and isn’t and that’s your choice to make ultimately. 
i recommend making a list of what makes u feel luxurious and doing that often. literally when i go to costco or a whole-sale store and have free samples i feel luxurious 😭 bcuz im INDULGING. 
that goes to show that u dont need to do the most to feel luxurious right at this moment. and that leads me to my next point. 
INDULGE YOURSELF ; 
don’t deny yourself the things that u desire and the things that you want. if u want ur fun little drink, have ur fun little drink. get ur nails done, take urself shopping every now and then. if u can’t afford to get these done, do it yourself. 
you have the ability to make yourself feel special and luxurious. the idea to this is to cultivate the feeling of being rich or the feeling of abundance and luxury. 
start a collection that you can have a lot of, change the perspective in which u see the things that u already own. kind of like seeing a cup have full then a cup half empty? 
THINGS TO BE RICH IN ; 
be rich in knowledge, be rich in culture, be rich in relationships, be rich in beauty. be rich in whatever interests that u might have. 
to be rich in knowledge -> seek higher education, study, read lots of books, start writing and seeking knowledge in whatever interests you 
to be rich in culture -> learn more about ur own culture and the culture of other people. explore and educate yourself on religion and customs that interest you. be well versed in another language or in something that’s important in todays media and pop culture
to be rich in relationships -> don’t close yourself up to meaningful relationships that you have. don’t take everything seriously and practice being social. 
to be rich in beauty -> take impeccable care of yourself and your body. pamper yourself every single day and pick up habits that serve the highest good for your appearance. 
to be rich in ur interests -> become well versed as i said before in whatever it is that interests you. there are countless resources online that can help give you information and direction on going about ur interests. 
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sweetestcaptainhughes · 5 months ago
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Moments in Time - Luke Hughes Edition
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Word Count - 3000
Summary - The eight times Luke Hughes showed his love through the ring camera that he didn’t even want in the first place.
Warnings - none pure fluff I know a true shocker if you aren't new here
Author's Note - Hello everyone as always thank you for reading. This is apart of a "Moments in Time" series that I wrote eight moments each of the Hughes brothers. The fics are individual stand alone pieces, they can be read in any order, or you could only read the one brother you want.
Quinn Hughes Edition. Jack Hughes Edition.
I have to give credit to my girl Kay @icebound-imagination for not only helping come up with the original idea! But literally stayed up late one night to help me detail plan all three Hughes brothers fics because I didn't want any repeated ideas.
Main Masterlist
Luke couldn't care less about wanting a ring camera. Both of his brothers had them and he really didn’t care. Now since he moved out of Jack’s apartment and into yours it’s a different story. He no longer has a nice fancy lobby with a mailroom. When a package comes it comes to his doorstep. This year Luke has been stepping up his fashion game (his words not yours) and buying some new items for his closet. Now to Luke, a $300 shirt might not seem like a lot but to a normal human being it was. 
Luke wasn’t concerned about packages being taken form your doorstep until you told him about your neighbor. When you first moved into your apartment a few years ago, your neighbor warned you about how some of his packages had been stolen and to be care. Literally nothing has happened in the three years you’ve had your apartment but you still did mention it to Luke. Once Luke heard about how packages were taken (even though none of them were yours) he was texting his brothers asking for a link to the one they had. Now you, on the other hand, wanted a ring camera because Quinn and Jack’s girlfriends were telling you how much fun it is to mess with the boys on the ring camera. So you decided you kind of wanted to join the fun and get one.The ring camera was totally worth it to both of you within six months with just all the ‘little mundane moments’ it caught on camera. 
Don’t forget the brownie bark!
Luke knew you were leaving to go to the store and instead of sending you a simple text, his lazy ass decided to yell at you through the ring. It scared the shit out of all of a sudden you heard Luke’s voice but knew he was on his way to the gym. 
“BABY! DON’T forget my brownie bark at the store! Please!” 
Once you registered that it was in fact Luke’s voice and it was coming from the ring camera you turned your body towards the camera. 
“What do you mean?? You still have all of that moose tracks dairy free ice cream I brought you because “I can’t do dairy during the season’ plus all those pretzels and everything else???” A small sigh leaving your lips before Luke can even reply because you already know what he’s going to say.
“Yeah but I’m not in the mood for those things anymore… maybe next week but this week I want the brownie bark you get from Costco.” he softly whined as he contonied to beg for his snack.
“Fine! But listen Hughes you have to finish this snack before I buy anything else because your literally taking up some much cabinet space and we have a small kitchen.”
“Deal.” he immediately and excitingly says before he rushes a goodbye and leaves the ring app. A soft sigh leaves your mouth as you head down the hallway to the elevator to go to the store
2.I hate you right now
Okay you didn’t really hate Luke you were just upset that he happened to have ordered a new gaming chair which came in the most awkward huge sized box. He told you he ordered it three weeks ago and it should be here before he has to go on his seven day west coast roadie. Of course it wasn’t, you dropped him off an hour ago and decided to get some errands done before returning home. Of course, it was just your luck that when you got home there would be a gigantic probably 100 lb perfectly cubed box that was definitely Luke’s new gaming chair. Deciding to go inside and set your things down and send Luke a text before dealing with the box.
Lukeyboo:
Guess what was here when i got home 🙄🙄
My love:
Is it my chair?? 👀
Lukeyboo:
Yes 
And its a fucking huge box by the way I don’t know how I’m gonna lift it. 
Gonna go try to attempt now
By the time you made it back to the hallway of your apartment building Luke greeted you on the ring camera. “Hi baby, I’m here for emotional support.” he says teasingly and even though you can’t see him you know he has a huge smile on his face. Making it a point to make an annoyed face at the camera, making sure he knows how the universe seemed to time this perfectly for you. Looking down you decide that it’s probably easiest to shuffle the box inside your apartment. Trying to move the box an inch but it doesn’t budge. 
“Baby try using your legs not your arms.” Luke comments
“Oh wow. Why didn’t I think of that?” you say in a duh tone.
“Sorry I’ll stop mansplaining.” Immediately apologizing for trying to tell you how to move the box. Finally your able to move it a little and Luke cheers as a result. But then of course you continue to struggle for the next ten minutes. 
“You know I really hate you right now.” you say loud enough for the ring to pick it up. 
“I love and appreciate you too.” he responds without a second thought knowing you're just annoyed because of how oddly shaped the box is and Luke would have already had it in spare bedroom by now. “If it makes you feel better I think your hot when you're flustered” he admits.
“Hmmm” is the only response your willing to give him. Finally after what feels like forever but is probably only 3 minutes you get it in the door. Luke cheers through the camera. “Oh and I hope you know it’s staying right but the front door for you when you get home.” 
Luke lets out a chuckle as he admits “I wouldn’t expect anything else. Love you, miss you already baby.”
“Ugh I love you too, text me when you land.”
“Always” and he stays on the app until he hears you close the apartment door. 
3. Why are you acting like this as adults?
One thing that you loved about Luke was how truly close he was with his brothers. It really did make you happy that he was able to live his dream of playing on the same team as his older brother Jack. But being brothers even if both were in their early twenties they still acted like brothers. They were both stubborn as could be and competitive with each other. At times it can be cute, but even Nico told on one roadie they had to ban the brothers from playing soccer before their game because their fighting became too much.  
So it was no shocker when you were in the kitchen in the middle of cooking dinner in your apartment, and heard both the boys yelling as they were coming down the hallway. It’s one thing to hear Jack because he is naturally a louder person, but when you heard Luke also raising his voice and some thudding of the walls you decided to check the ring camera. Honestly, you weren’t sure to be surprised by their behavior of straight up wrestling in your tiny little narrow hallway apartment or a little disappointed in yourself that you were surprised by their behavior. 
Since the hallway was so narrow, you really didn't want one of them to accidentally get injured, even if it was minor due to them being idiots. Especially since it wouldn’t be hard to knock your head on the wall and accidentally get a concussion and then they would be out for at least a game. So you decided to yell at them through the camera to make them stop. “Boys I know that isn’t the Hughes brothers being idiots wrestling like some children?!” 
Immediately the noises stop and you smile to yourself. Knowing your boyfriend you knew that he was probably embarrassed but your suspensions were confirmed when you heard him say “sorry baby” before Jack muttered out his own apologies. 
But then within a few seconds you heard another thud and you sighed as you clicked the speak button on your phone. “That better not be you all again, now knock it off or I swear I will treat you like my nephews and take video games away for the night.” Honestly, you didn’t count it but you're pretty sure within a minute the boys were inside, and in the kitchen kissing up to you knowing damn well you would take the video games away.
4. Take Out
Luke was on one of those rare long roadies that was closer to a week and two time zones away rather than a quick 72 hours down the east coast. All roadies were hard, but somehow the ones that were in different time zones and longer than an extended weekend felt more real. It was almost like if he was gone for the 2 days it didn’t matter, but when it was hitting the fourth day of his roadie missing Luke turned into what felt like longing for him. Craving anything that would help you feel closer to Luke, on your way home that night you picked up pizza from his favorite place. Lately you’ve been leaving little messages occasionally for him when he’s away. Since missing him felt like it was slowly consuming you, you couldn’t help but leave one on your way inside your apartment. 
“Hi Lukey, we are at the halfway mark of this roadie. I miss you so much, I got the pizza from that place you like, just like you like it. With all the papers, and even olives, even though I hate olives, picking them off might make it seem like your home. Love you, good luck tonight against the Kings.”
When Luke watched that video he texted you that he also missed you and he loved you. That was the first time on a roadie in his entire life he ever wished he was home with you instead of where he was.
5. It was your turn Luke!
Finally getting home after a long day at work and walking into your apartment, sighing with content. After changing out of your work clothes into some sweats, you decide you should start dinner before you take a shower and get ready for Luke’s home game tonight. But as you walk into the kitchen you see in the corner the trash overflowing. Immediately you find yourself annoyed at Luke because he promised he would take it out before he left and it was not only overflowing but also started to smell. Deciding ultimately that you need to take the trash out before you make yourself a quick dinner. 
As you tie up the bag and carry it to the front door, throw on some of Luke’s crocs by the door since you're only going outside for two minutes to deal with the trash. Still very annoyed at Luke you can’t help but ring the doorbell so he gets a notification. 
“LUKE YOU PROMISED. Remember how you said you’d do it before you left but of course you forgot again.” Sighing again you say in a calmer but still very annoyed voice “it’s fine cause I’m doing now but it made the whole kitchen smell, Lukey. I might be late to the game cause I’m gonna burn a candle in the kitchen now” Finally walking away to deal with the trash, the clip ends because ‘movement in front of camera has ended.’
Luke sees the notification while he’s walking into the stadium and his arrival photos are ruined because he’s all red and blushy because you scolded him for forgetting about the trash again. Turns out, you do make it to the game but after puck drop. Luke sees you make your way to your normal seat, always claiming the game didn’t feel as real in the WAGs suite. He happened to skate past your seat to get ready for a power play, when you saw him. He mouths “I’m sorry” as he takes his hand to chest to sign in ASL as well, something that both of you started using while he’s playing. He signs a quick “I love you” before the whistle blows and he’s focused back on the game.
6. First Roadie far away
This wasn’t his first roadie by any means, Luke has been playing hockey his entire life. He has gone on countless roadies from his USA Hockey days to UMitch, hell even his rookie year. But this was the first roadie far away enough that you couldn’t travel to his game since you started living together. This gave the idea of roadies a whole new light. He suddenly wasn’t excited to travel to a new city, play his favorite game and explore a new city, not when you were home in Hoboken. He can’t help himself from turning around and saying goodbye in the camera. Watching it later you could tell that he was truly sad and not pretending as a joke. Sniffling with his suitcase behind him dressed in a nice suit. 
“I love you sweetie, I’ll call you when I land. I kinda don’t wanna go… DON’T tell anyone that!” He signs I love you with his right hand. He starts to walk away and you expect the camera to cut out, but then he comes running back. He gets super close to the camera, like you can really just see one eye, his nose and mouth. “BABY! Please don’t kill the plants! I know you think you’ve done really good this time keeping them alive this long. But the truth is I’ve been watering them for you because I didn’t wanna see you cry after killing another African Violet. Which also I googled and it’s almost impossible to do so your kind of the best at being the killer of plants. Okay gotta go before I’m late I love you.”
7. I’ll buy you a new cupcake 
Luke decided as a treat for himself that he would get himself just one cupcake from both of your favorite bakeries. There was only one left from the 6 pack you had in the fridge from last week.  It was his treat to himself for not having any other cheat meals this week, which is shocking because as you know that boy is ALWAYS eating! Luke also needed to go to the dry cleaners before they closed in 20 minutes. Deciding that he didn’t wanna wait until he got home he ate it on his way out the door. 
Of course Lukes luck, the movement in front of the ring was enough for a notification to be sent out. Immediately as Luke is still chewing the cupcake, your voice comes blaring from the speaker. 
“LUKE WARREN HUGHES! I KNOW you’re not eating the last cupcake. That you SAID WE’D SHARE WHEN I GOT HOME TONIGHT!” Okay so Luke forgot the other day you wanted to eat it and he begged you not to and that you would share it today, whoops. 
“I promise I will buy you some on my way home, I’m sorry baby” Just a mumble of acknowledgement was the only thing that left your mouth. 
One week later:
Turns out the same thing happened, Luke and you promised that if both of you didn’t have any cheat meals and stayed to your health routine. Both of you could share the last cupcake. Well this time it was you that ate the cupcake. Luke was very much a pouty mess about it when he walked into the kitchen and saw the container on top of the trash can. Hearing your full name in one breath out of Luke’s mouth, you winced realizing what happened. Except instead of angry Luke comes to you on the couch, face full of pout, and puppy eyes truly sad that he couldn’t have the treat he was looking forward to for days because you ate it with your lunch this afternoon. 
“I’m sorry Lukey” opening your opens and immediately he flops into them. 
“I really wanted it!” he pouted.
“I know. I am sorry I’ll buy you more tomorrow okay.” Luke only nodded his head yes as he dug himself deeper into your embrace as one hand started caressing his back, the other digging your fingers into his curls lightly scratching. 
8. Next time I’ll wait
It’s a Monday afternoon and you’ve been waiting all weekend for a new pair of shoes to be delivered. They were a pair of limited edition converse and you were excited to get them in before you traveled to Europe for the Stadium Series that opened your boyfriend’s NHL season. Naturally every little alert you get from the ring app your checking. Most of them have just been neighbors walking past to get to their own apartments. But it still doesn’t stop you form opening the notification you just got. 
Now what you weren’t expecting to see was but also wasn’t surprised to see. Is Luke running outside of the apartment with a pot that’s on fire because he accidentally set something on fire while cooking. The embarrassment is clear on his face when he comes back a minute later with no pot in sight, assuming he left it outside in the leftover snow from a few days ago. Thinking he got away with his cooking disaster until he makes direct eye contact with the ring camera and suddenly remembers its existence. 
He decides to just rip the bandaid off and looks directly into the camera as he says “we're out of eggs by the way.”
Deciding to just talk to Luke now you press the speak button and with a light chuckle you add “well and a new pan since I no longer see it. I hope it wasn’t the one that I love.” 
Luke suddenly looks like a deer in headlights, obviously he wasn’t expecting you to be watching him run out of the apartment with a pan on fire. “Uhhh I’ll buy you a whole new set, the ones you have saved on amazon, the colored ones!” 
“Okay. baby next time can you wait 5 minutes until I’m home” 
A giant sigh leaves Luke’s lips as his face starts to form his famous pout, “Yeah okay”
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fishfooddude · 3 months ago
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Panty Stealer (Jake Seresin x Reader)
Directory
Kinktober MasterList
(Divider credit to @strangergraphics)
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Jake didn’t mean for this to happen. The two of you had become friends since you’d transferred to North Island a few months ago. Your friendship was forged after bonding over a love of classic rock and being a couple of Texans surrounded by Northerners. The two of you spent most of your free time together; you’d acted as his wingwoman on occasion, and he scared any guy with the balls to ask you out away. He didn’t think he had any deeper feelings for you, but… he was wrong.
When you had to go out of town to visit your parents, you’d asked Jake to come over and feed your cat and water the plants. He never intended to go into your bedroom, but when he couldn’t find the cat, he remembered that he liked sleeping under your bed. 
“Charlie, come on- your Mom said I’m in charge while she’s gone.” Jake huffed as he reached for the lanky tuxedo cat. His reaching was met with loud hisses and claws. After dodging Charlie’s paws, Jake got a hand around the cat’s middle and pulled him from under the bed. Charlie sunk his teeth into the meat of Jake’s hand, resulting in the aviator swearing like a sailor and dropping the cat. Charlie quickly scurried back under your bed as Jake shook his hand and flexed his fingers, “I’ll throw you back in that dumpster, Charlie. You’re a fuckin’ brat.” 
Jake sat on your bed and opted to wait for Charlie to come out on his own. “I’m not losing to a 10-lb dumpster cat. You will come out and eat while I’m here so I can send your Mom a picture of you,” Jake explained as he fell back on your mattress. The smell of your perfume rushed his senses as he sank into the plush sage green comforter beneath him. You did always smell good… fruity with undertones of bluebonnet. You smelled like home, and Jake couldn’t get enough of it sometimes. 
He was unsure how long he’d laid in your bed waiting for Charlie to come out, but when he heard the cat screaming, he sat up. “I told you. I’m not losing to a cat.” Jake scolded as Charlie strutted across your bedroom toward the living room. Jake rose to his feet and saw that Charlie’s foot was dragging something along with it. “What you got there?” he asked aloud, not realizing what it was until he’d squatted down to retrieve the item from the cat’s foot. “Oh shit…” Jake trailed off as he held a satin thong between his fingers. The material was slick and the prettiest blue he’d ever seen; with how small the back was, Jake wondered just how much they covered. Have you worn these to work? Or when the two of you hung out at The Hard Deck or when you’d go on Costco runs together? 
As Jake came to his senses and moved to put them in your laundry hamper in the corner of the room, he couldn’t help but wonder… what did they smell like? He shook his head. You were just his friend- but the idea of another man holding these underwear made his blood boil. “I don’t have a crush on Y/N…” he tried to convince himself as he dropped the underwear in your hamper. He stopped, turned back, and opened the hamper again. He shuffled around the dirty clothes until he found another pair of panties, this pair even smaller than the first. They were dark red with a dainty bow on the front. His mouth watered at the idea of seeing you in them. Your pussy… a gift just for him. Without a second thought, Jake shoved the panties in his pocket. 
Jake fed your cat every day for a week and watered your plants like he’d agreed to. When you came home, you were none the wiser about the missing panties from your hamper. It was Jake’s little secret, and he was determined to keep it. 
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egcdeath · 1 year ago
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how the cookie crumbles
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summary: when you come back home to austin to help your sister with her bakery, you end up in an arrangement with your high school crush that ends up being far more than you bargained for. 
word count: 11.5k
warnings: FAKE DATING, au: no outbreak, pining. so much pining and a touch of yearning, idiots to lovers, high school crushes to lovers, very hallmark-romcom esque, fluff, a touch of angst, more fluff, the reader has a sister but the sister doesn’t have a name, joel’s ex is kinda rude, alcohol consumption, cuddling, miscommunication kinda, unrequited love that’s actually requited love, no use of y/n, not beta read.
author’s note: this is my first fic back after taking my several month long break!! i want to give a big shoutout to my texas consultant and biggest cheerleader @cowgurrrl, who encouraged me to write, gave me helpful ideas, and let me dump my brain and my silly little ideas on her whenever <3
For as long as you could remember, you and your sister had been total opposites. As girls, your sister spent her time playing with dolls, experimenting with whatever new hairstyle on your scalp, and eagerly shadowing your mother in the kitchen, while you preferred to spend your time exploring the city on your bike, reading books in your hammock, and doodling whatever had caught your interest in your hourly. As you entered young adulthood, you were unsurprised as your sister married her high school sweetheart just months after graduating college before setting off to start her own business in Austin, while you moved as far as you could out of Texas and began a prosperous career in New York City. 
Regardless of the different paths your lives had taken, the minute your sister had even suggested that she might’ve needed help at her bakery, you were booking a flight back home. The holidays were a notoriously busy time for her business, with people wanting cakes and pies to display as their own labors of love at their family gatherings, or to have their children wake up to a dozen expertly decorated cookies under the guise that that was what their Elf on the Shelf had been up to that night. 
Given that you had no holiday plans other than drinking Bailey’s-spiked hot chocolate and watching reruns of your favorite season of The Bachelor, it seemed like a no-brainer to come back to Austin. Part of you was excited for your homecoming, to return to the vibrant personality of the city that was a far cry from the east coast city you’d grown to know and love over the years. The other part of you dreaded your return, not feeling particularly excited to have to run into peers from your adolescence while you were trying to peruse the shelves of your local Costco. 
You were welcomed with warm arms the moment that you walked through the door of your sister’s home—metaphorically and literally. She practically hugged you the entire way as you dropped your items off in her guest bedroom, then even more so as she directed you to her car, giving you all sorts of updates about your parents and her husband, but not allowing you to forget the whole reason that you’d come home in the first place. 
“You’re not hungry or anything, right?” she asked as she hopped into the driver's seat next to you. 
“I think I’m good. I ate at the airport,” you replied, slightly amused by your sister’s eagerness to get you to work immediately. Then again, you couldn’t exactly blame her when you thought about how busy she must’ve been. 
“Good! I’m gonna put you right to work then. How does frosting cupcakes sound?”
It sounded fine, and it was fine for the first few hours, until the angle of the piping bag started to make the newfound cramping in your hands unbearable, and your sister had to give you an impromptu tutorial on how not to make your rosettes look so… depressing. 
“Look, the Girl Scouts need this order in like, an hour, and my cashier is going home in a bit. Give yourself a little break to shake your hand out, or pee, or do whatever it is you have to do, then you can ring customers up. How does that sound?” she finally huffed, clearly just as frustrated with you for your inability to do a task that was practically second nature to her.
“Anything’s better than frosting these damn cupcakes,” you commented as you tossed your gloves into the trash. “If I never have to frost a cupcake again, it’ll be too soon.”
“I love you, which is why I have to tell you that you will be frosting so many more cupcakes in the next few days,” she laughed aloud, looking down at the army of baked goods in front of her that she was still working on meticulously frosting. “But you’ll get used to it. I’ll have Ben give you better instructions. He’s really good at this, for some reason. I’m convinced it’s because he went to art school.”
You groaned dramatically as you exited the kitchen, only to bother your sister if nothing else. After all, wasn’t it your job as a younger sibling to annoy your older sibling?
As much as you enjoyed doing random tasks that your sister needed done in the back, working in the front was definitely one of the better aspects of working at the bakery. There was far less technique involved in doing anything, and when there was downtime in the storefront, you got to passively scroll on social media, turning your brightness down so you could secretly cyberstalk people from your high school in peace. 
Being that you were distracted by the phone in your hand, you paid no mind to the shrill sound of the door’s bell as it opened. As you finished up looking at someone’s engagement pictures, you glanced up once before doing a complete double take.
“Hey, I’m just here to pick up the Girl Scout order-”
There was no way. 
You hadn’t seen that face in years. Hell, you hadn’t thought about that face in years, despite your mild obsession with him as a teenager. 
Joel had been the definition of so close, yet so far. You seemed to always be in his orbit, butterflies in your stomach every time he leaned over his desk to ask you a question about the material or to poke fun at one of the weirder quirks your teacher had. Yet, just as you’d finally worked up the nerve to confess your feelings to him, word got around the school that he was becoming a father. After many pints of ice cream and late nights of your older sister comforting an inconsolable teenage you, you’d finally gotten over the man, letting his memory become a funny anecdote you shared to friends to display your terrible luck in love. 
As much as you hated to admit it, he looked good. Obviously, he was much older now, but much to your dismay, he’d aged more like wine than like milk. Donning a new beard that somehow managed to make him even more handsome and biceps that strained against the sleeves of his shirt, he looked far more attractive than you could ever even remember him, his mature look a good one.  You were sure his wife loved looking at that striking face in the morning, before she set off to take care of their adorable young daughter. Their perfect little family, still holding up despite the test of time.
You had gotten so caught up in your thoughts, you’d barely registered the fact that Joel had said your name in a tone that held a mixture of excitement and disbelief. 
“I haven’t seen you in years! Since high school?” he asked, despite already knowing the answer. The surprise of seeing him, let alone seeing him looking so good led you to smile dumbly and shrug. “Wow!” he remarked.
“It has been a really long time,” you grinned involuntarily, practically feeling yourself revert back to your younger, immature self simply at the sight of the man standing across from you. “How are you? How’s the family?”
“We’re good. Sarah’s turning 13 soon, which is really exciting,” Joel explained, setting a hand on his hip as he did so. You swore you could see the fondness for his daughter as he spoke. “It feels like just yesterday I was feeding her bottles and carrying her around in a sling.”
“I know, they just grow up so fast,” you agreed, as if you’d had any sort of experience in the field. The fact that Joel still had this effect on you, one that made you want to follow him around like a lost puppy and agree with every word that came out of his mouth was mildly concerning to you—particularly because he clearly had a wife and a child. 
“They really do. You have any of your own?” Joel asked, looking deep into your eyes and making you want to melt into a puddle on the floor.
“Me? No,” you dismissed before following it up with,. “I’ve been pretty focused on my career, so it’s not exactly the best time for a family. To be quite honest, I think my cats do the trick plenty well.”
“You’re still so responsible,” Joel complimented, stirring something up deep inside of you that you promptly wanted to push right back down. “Clearly, I didn’t do any family planning. I’d say it worked out pretty well, if you don’t count having to get divorced just a few years after getting married.”
This piqued your interest. You could almost feel the teenage version of yourself cheering internally at the news that Joel and the mother of his child had split. She’d always been a bit of a bitch to you, so to hear that the two of them had split had sounded like music to your ears.
“Man, that’s too bad. I always thought you two would be the one couple from our school to make it,” you lied through your teeth, hoping that your entertainment wasn’t too obvious.
Joel chuckled and shook his head, smile lines appearing seemingly out of thin air, and unfortunately making you melt on the inside, just the slightest bit. 
“That’s really too bad. I mean, what happened with you guys? If you don’t mind me asking,” you were definitely taking a risk with this question, but you were hoping that the reward of the answer would be worth every bit of boldness you put together to ask. 
“We just had… different ideas for our futures,” Joel explained what you could only assume was a very condensed version of what had actually occurred. “You know, she’s actually in town right now.”
“I hadn’t realized she’d left town. Should we keep our voices down then?” you asked jokingly, although it would be quite awkward if his ex wife walked in while the two of you were talking about her. 
“No, we’re good,” Joel chuckled. “Sarah really wanted to see her for the holidays, and it wasn’t like I could say no to that request. Although, getting Naomi to actually come was a bit like pulling teeth. I’m sorry, this is way too much information. What about you? Any special people in your life?”
“No, Joel, you’re all good. You know how much of a gossip I was,” you offered him a genuine smile. “Unfortunately, no. Funnily enough, the thing I was dreading most about coming home is having my mom constantly on my ass about bringing home a good man.”
“I get it. It’s exhausting seeing all the PDA whenever Naomi and Henry come back. It’s like they’re rubbing in that we’re so happy together and you’re still all alone.”
“Assholes,” you remarked, rolling your eyes to show Joel just how on his side you were. “I’m sure you’ll find someone someday. I mean, both of us will. Then maybe my mom will stop bothering me and your ex will finally stop acting all high and mighty for being in a relationship.”
“I can only hope,” Joel sighed. “Well, I apologize for dumping all of my holiday woes on you when I really should just be picking up some cupcakes.”
“Oh no, I apologize for holding you up. I’ll go grab that order for you,” you said before walking off to the back, where your sister had just finished putting the final touches on the order. 
“Perfect timing,” she remarked, stepping back and running her arm against her slightly damp forehead. “Who were you talking to back there?” 
“Oh, no one,” you dismissed, not ready to hear her reaction. “Just giving good customer service.”
The look she gave you told you loud and clear that she didn’t believe you, but it would be a conversation for another time. Since she didn’t seem interested in pressing, you took it as your opportunity to grab the large, pink box, and bring it out to Joel.
“Here’s that order for you,” you said politely. “It was good seeing you today.”
“Yeah, you too,” he said, happily taking the slightly heavy box when you offered it to him. “How long will you be in town?”
“Into the New Year, I think? Maybe earlier, maybe later,” you shrugged. 
“We should get together sometime. Maybe get a coffee or something and properly catch up? I would love for you to meet Sarah, too.”
“Yeah, that sounds great,” you grinned, begging yourself not to revert back to your younger, naive self, but not exactly being able to fight it at the same time. “Well, if you ever need me, I’ll probably be here.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” he said as he headed to the door. “See ya!”
As soon as the door jingled, announcing Joel’s departure, you let out a deep breath that you hadn’t even realized you’d been holding. 
Fuck. You could not be feeling this way about a man you had a crush on in high school.
-
Your sister always seemed to have a sixth sense for when you were getting antsy, so one evening as the two of you worked on closing the storefront, she pulled you from the monotony of sweeping the floors while listening to the sound of her new favorite pop artist to send you to the grocery store and retrieve a few items that she needed more of. 
With her company card safely secured in your wallet, a short list scribbled out on a pink post-it note, and your hands closely grasping the handlebars of the cart, you amaturely navigated the grocery store, unfamiliar with the locations of the items that lined the shelves after years of not visiting Austin.
The evening in the grocery store brought you a sense of serenity, with the rush of urgent people looking to pick up the one ingredient they forgot for dinner mostly gone. After packing your cart full of sticks of butter and bags of sugar, you headed off to the get your final item, relieved to have had a mostly successful trip without running into anyone you knew in your youth. 
But just as you had this thought, you caught a glimpse of someone out of the corner of your eye. Dark hair and beard imprinted in your mind after your brief interaction with him just one day ago. You did your absolute best to pretend you didn’t see him as you inspected a bag of flour, keeping your head lowered, and gaze averted. Yet, your efforts were futile, as just moments later, you heard your name called aloud as the man approached you. 
“Hey!” he said cheerily, blissfully unaware that you were attempting to use the ‘if I can’t see you, you can’t see me’ method on him just moments ago. “Long time no see.”
“Yeah, it’s been like forever,” you added on, looking into his eyes and almost immediately regretting your decision as your gut was immediately consumed with a swarm of rabid butterflies. “What’re you doing here?”
“Grabbing some groceries,” he answered sweetly, despite that being the obvious answer to your not-so-great question. 
Duh. What else did people come to the grocery store for? What a stupid question. See? Joel just made you so… stupid! Even after all of the years you’d spent apart. 
“Sarah wanted to try making some Christmas cookies to bring to her mom, so…” he trailed off, gesturing down at the flour that was now in his hand. “Got any tips on the best flour to get?”
“That’s definitely more of my sister’s wheelhouse. I just do whatever she needs me to do, like go and get,” you glanced down at your list before continuing for comedic effect, “White miso paste.”
Joel smiled fondly at your joke, only making your insides melt further. 
“Remind me to stop by and try whatever has that white miso paste in it. Sounds interesting,” Joel grabbed a package of all-purpose flour and tossed it into his cart, before leaning on his cart. 
Fuck. Why did he have to be so endearing, with his smile lines and his kind eyes, and his insistence on treating you like you were the only other woman in the world, despite the other woman customer just standing feet away from you two.
“I definitely will. Has your number changed in the past thirteen years?” you asked, not sure what had gotten into you with the slightly flirty move. 
He shook his head, his eye briefly catching on something and causing him to pause in his movements before he returned to the conversation, now looking slightly off in a way that he hadn’t looked just a moment ago. You were so stupid. Of course you trying to flirt back would’ve backfired. You needed to excuse yourself before you managed to embarrass yourself any more than you already had. 
“It has not,” he confirmed, smiling at you once more, but not looking like his heart was completely into it. “Any chance you’re checking out?” 
“I am!” you said a little too enthusiastically, which Joel responded to by somewhat urgently beginning to walk to the check-out lane. Given that he hadn’t told you goodbye, you followed him like the lost puppy that you were around him. 
Just as the two of you stopped in line and had mostly finished checking out, Joel finally seemed to unclench from whatever he’d seen (or whatever you’d said) that had bothered him before. Yet, as soon as it was over, you noticed that same tension washed over him once more. 
“Oh, Naomi. Henry,” Joel said, his tone taking a complete 180 from what he had just had with you moments ago, and his change in demeanor suddenly made sense to you. “Didn’t realize you two were in town yet.”
You glanced over to the woman who had seemingly appeared out of thin air to ruin your moment with Joel, just like she had done in high school a million times over. Who you hadn’t recognized was the man next to her, looking a little too put together for someone who had likely just gotten off a flight and was headed to the grocery store.
“Joel,” she said artificially sweetly, the one singular word drenched in annoyance. “We just got in. We’re grabbing groceries for the hotel.”
“I didn’t realize chocolate chips were groceries,” Joel muttered to himself as he evaluated their basket. You were slightly surprised by the sass he had seemed to equip out of nowhere, a far cry from the southern charm he had displayed with you in your past interactions. You desperately wanted to leave the situation, which was clearly none of your business.
“Surely, you remember your ex-wife having a sweet tooth,” the man on her side replied defensively, wrapping an arm around her protectively. 
“Something like that,” he replied, glancing over at you with an expression that you couldn’t quite read. 
With tensions boiling over with just a few words stated, you finally decided to step in, impulse and instinct guiding you. 
“Hey honey, I think we need to get going,” you said, internally cringing as the words left your mouth. Joel’s now wide eyes made contact with your unsure ones and your furrowed brows as you attempted to tell him to just go with it without a single word. 
The good thing for you was that Joel was a quick learner, and his hand quickly found the small of your back. Something in Naomi’s expression changed, just for a moment, before she went back to her stone cold facade. You hoped that Joel caught it, the same way that you did. 
“Yeah, we don’t want to keep you too long, since we’ll be seeing you plenty this holiday season,” Naomi replied, flashing you a fake smile. “I didn’t realize you two were together. I’ve never heard Joel say anything about you.”
You were sure the sentiment was supposed to hurt your feelings, but you were more unsurprised by the sentiment than anything else. 
“Some of us like to leave our personal lives personal,” he shot back, glancing at you before bringing his glare back to his ex-wife. 
“Well, that’s cute. I remember, you had the biggest crush on Joel back in the day. Glad you two ended up together,” she laughed and your stomach dropped. Were you that obvious in the past? “Anyway, we’re gonna go to a less busy lane. See you at dinner, Joel. And maybe you, too?” She looked you up and down, and for a second you felt like you were in the hallways of your high school once again, trying your best to avoid the passive aggression of a particularly mean girl. 
“Right. Bye,” he said simply, watching the pair walk away as if he were scared that they would turn back around at some point and bother Joel some more. 
“Fuck,” he muttered aloud as soon as they were out of earshot, his hand falling away from your back and back to his side.  
You immediately launched yourself into a rambling apology, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep or anything, they just looked like they wanted to eat you alive and-“
“No, no, don’t apologize. I appreciate what you did back here. I mean, you saw the look on her face when she thought we were together?”
“Oh yeah,” you laughed out, which also acted as a cover for the deep sigh of relief you needed to let out. “Is she always so shocked when she thinks you’re dating someone new?”
“Well, I haven’t dated much since the divorce,” he explained as the two of you began exiting the building. “So I guess I didn’t really know what to expect. But it totally delivered.”
You couldn’t help but smile as the two of you walked out to your cars together and Joel confessed that not only was he single, but that he hadn’t really seen anyone. Not that it really mattered to you, considering that the two of you had absolutely no shot together. 
You weren’t exactly sure where Joel had parked, but he’d offered to help unload your groceries into your car, and you weren’t exactly going to decline that offer. 
“Thank you, again for helping me out tonight,” Joel said as he helped place bags in the trunk of the car. “Is there anything I can do to repay you?”
“Actually, there is one thing.” 
— 
Every year, you absolutely dreaded your family’s holiday celebrations. Specifically, the celebrations where you showed up without a date, and had to spend the night downing eggnog to drown out the sound of your family asking you when you were going to settle down and bring a grandchild, or niece, or nephew into the family. 
But this year, you didn’t have to worry about that issue. After running into Joel at the grocery store and briefly pretending to be his partner, he’d agreed to do the same for you at a family holiday party, and to be completely honest, you couldn’t be more excited. 
“Again, thank you,” you said to Joel as he opened the passenger door to his truck for you, politely standing at the side of it as you got in. 
“It was really the least I could do after you saved my ass back there in the store,” he dismissed, closing the door behind you before getting back into the car. 
“I mean, I couldn’t just stand there and let you suffer,” you explained, glancing over at the man as he settled into the seat and started the car. He’d certainly dressed up more than usual for the event, a nice red sweater nicely complimenting your green sweater, and his hair styled nicely. For a second, you thought about your younger self, and how she probably would’ve given anything for a night like this—to just play pretend with Joel just for a moment, since he clearly didn’t see you the way you saw him. 
“Well, I appreciate it,” he dismissed, sending you a quick, charming smile before beginning to pull out of the driveway. “Anything I need to know about your family?”
“Oh my god,” you laughed. “Where do I start?”
You more or less talked Joel’s ear off on the drive over, filling him in on family members to avoid; overbearing aunts who would attempt to examine him like a lab specimen, uncles who would try to quiz him on his knowledge of local sports teams, and the occasional family friend, who seemed to be just as crazy as your actual kin. Joel listened politely, taking in all of the information, and throwing in some commentary every now and then, but surely making mental notes on who to try to avoid. 
Once you finally arrived at the car-lined street, Joel once again opened the door for you like the gentleman he was, before allowing you to lead the way to the christmas-light adorned house that was clearly bustling on the inside. As the two of you walked up to the porch, Joel looked at you rather earnestly. 
“Did I scare you in the car? I promise they’re not all that bad,” you began to attempt to explain, nerves bubbling in your stomach as you thought about how Joel surely wanted to go home. 
“No, no, you didn’t scare me,” he assured you, reaching over to brush a stray hair out of your face. “I just… I never got the chance to tell you how good you look. I wanted to say something when you first got in my car, but I guess I got scared. You always look good, but you kinda took my breath away.”
Fuck, you internally groaned. Why did he have to tell you that? Was he just trying to get into character or something? You couldn’t even gather the words for how it made you feel before the front door was swinging open with one of your favorite aunts at the door greeting you. 
“Hello, my love!” she practically squealed as she pulled you into a hug. “And who is this?”
“This is my boyfriend, Joel,” you introduced, only slightly alarmed at how easily the word rolled off your tongue.
“Hello, ma’am,” Joel said warmly, setting out a hand for her to shake, which was rejected in favor of a hug. He was clearly a bit caught off guard by it, but also clearly a little into it. 
“Sorry,” you whispered to him once she let go and the two of you were ushered inside. “We’re a hug family. I probably should’ve warned you about that on the ride over.”
“I don’t mind, I promise,” he assured you, gently grabbing your hand and looking to you for some sort of assurance. You smiled at him then subtly nodded, lacing your fingers in between his in an act that you hoped would be as practical as it was performative.
As the two of you navigated through the house, you made pleasant small talk with all who you encountered, with you proudly introducing Joel as your boyfriend, and him taking the lead in introducing himself from time to time. After an exhausting hello tour, you had finally made it to the kitchen for drinks, something you’d surely need if you were going to keep up at this rate of socialization. 
As you grabbed Joel the beer he’d requested and began to spoon out ladles of the bowl that was tape-labeled ‘ADULT Punch’ into your own cup, you were slightly surprised that you’d finally ran into your mother. 
“Hi honey,” she squealed, pulling you into a hug. “How long have you been here? You avoiding me?”
While past experiences of being single during the holiday season and having to interact with your mother often ended up with you suffering for the entirety of the night–or an entire week, like the time she tried to set you up with a coworker’s son–you felt a newfound confidence with the knowledge that Joel was just a few feet away from you, diligently playing the perfect boyfriend.
“We just got here,” you giggled at her typical overbearing self. For once, your guard was down, knowing that she would not be attempting to set you up with anyone, or hounding you about coming home and settling down with a nice local. 
“We?” she asked dramatically, brows raised in surprise. “Is your sister somewhere around here, or something?”
“Don’t act so surprised,” you feigned offense as she stepped back to look at the two drinks in your hands. “I brought my boyfriend,” you glanced back at Joel, who was right where you left him, making enthusiastic smalltalk with one of your cousins about the Cowboys game. Like a good little fake boyfriend, upon catching your eye he excused himself from his conversation and walked over to you and your mother.
“Mom, this is Joel, my partner,” you explained, as your gentlemanly fake boyfriend grabbed your mother’s hand and gave it a polite kiss. You certainly hadn’t forgotten about his charm back in the day, but to watch it up close and personal after so much time had passed was undoubtedly having a bit of an effect on you. 
“I’ve heard all about you. Pleasure to meet you, ma’am,” he gushed. You had to give credit where credit was due, Joel was a great actor. You’d given him a bit of backstory on your mom on the ride over to the house, and you’d certainly discussed her while the two of you were students, but definitely not to the extent that he was playing up.
“So nice to meet you,” she replied, her cheeks warming at her interactions with the man. Joel was laying it on thick, but it seemed to be working for her. “Miller, right?”
“Indeed,” he confirmed, flashing a pearly white smile at your mother. As you watched the interaction, you were doing your best to keep it together, partially wanting to laugh out loud at Joel’s overdramatic chivalrous act, and partially wanting to melt into a puddle over just how alluring he was.
“Then I’ve also heard a lot about you. My daughter had the biggest crush on you in high school! It’s so funny that you’ve ended up together now. I suppose God’s timing is always right?”
Your eyes grew wide and your mouth gaped open for a second as your mother reinforced your little secret that Joel had heard from someone else just a few days ago. Suddenly, you were feeling a lot less like a liquidy puddle, and more like the bark of a firm tree–if that tree could experience mortification. If you didn’t need it before, now you really needed that drink. He glanced at you and smiled cheekily before looking back at your mother. 
“So I’ve heard,” he said with a smirk, clearly biting back a laugh. You were going to kill your mother. And maybe Naomi too, while you were at it. In fact, you might just add yourself into the mix. It certainly couldn’t hurt. Or at least, it would hurt less than the discomfiture of your fake boyfriend hearing from everyone about the huge crush you had on him. 
“Mom! I think your other daughter just got here. Why don’t you go say hi to her and Ben?” you suggested, knowing that the best way to prevent her from embarrassing you any further was to distract her with the idea of embarrassing her other child in front of her significant other.  
You clearly knew your mother well, because the strategy worked well enough to get her off your tail. You passed Joel his beer as he watched you closely, the same mischievous smirk lingering on his face long after your mother had left. 
“Crush, huh?” he teased you, causing you to shake your head as you took a healthy sip from a deceptively strong punch. 
“Shut up,” you groaned. “Please.”
As the night went on, you realized that you couldn’t have picked a better candidate to pretend to be your boyfriend at a family gathering. Joel was quite sociable and polite, even more so with a beer in his system. He didn’t even mind entertaining your family members on his own as you went off and caught up with the few members of your family that you could tolerate for more than a few minutes at a time.
Following a rather chaotic series of discussions including when you and Joel were getting engaged (never, I mean, in the next few years. Probably.), the most romantic thing you’d done (backpacking through Europe, according to Joel), and what it was like reconnecting with your high school crush (fucking fantastic), you’d finally lost track of Joel. You did a quick lap around the house before bumping into your sister and cousin, the latter of which desperately described her need for air. 
The three of you huddled together outside on the deck, the spot where you seemed to find yourselves at almost every family function regardless of how fun or stressful it ended up being. While you were enjoying the mayhem of the party and enjoying your time with Joel even more, it was nice to have a little break from it all. 
“I can’t believe you’ve been home for just a few days and you’ve already gotten your childhood crush wrapped around your finger,” your sister laughed, comfortably leaning against the railing of the deck.
“That’s the power of working for a Fortune 500. All of the men in your hometown just want a sugar mommy for a little bit. Get some presents for the kids and wife for free,” you joked. 
“You’re kidding?” your cousin asked, her brows furrowed in a mixture of confusion and intrigue. 
“I’m kidding,” you confirmed. “You know, we aren’t even actually dating,” you confessed, lips and tongue loose from your second glass of punch. 
“What?” your cousin and sister exclaimed at the same time, the two of them suddenly very alert.
Even in your not-completely-there state of mind, you could tell that you had made a mistake telling your secret. It was now very likely that the entire house would know the truth within the next hour, or that you would not be hearing the end of how terrible an idea the whole ordeal was for months on end. 
“I figured you two just hit it off, or had some long distance thing going on?” your sister questioned, peering at you curiously as if your face would reveal some sort of information about your arrangement.
“Nope. It’s kinda a long story, but I guess the short of it all is that we’re pretending to be together for the holidays so certain people get off our asses,” you said casually, finishing off your drink and looking out into the backyard rather than making eye contact with either of your kin. 
“Fair enough,” your cousin sighed, finally relaxing once more. “If I wasn’t already seeing Will, I’d probably do the same.”
“Are you sure this is a good idea? He really broke your heart,” your sister asked, grabbing your arm to attempt to force you to look at her, and staring at you with concern. 
You were sure you could imagine what was going through her head in the moment, the vision of your heartbroken teenage self and the sound of your prolonged sobs as you questioned what your crush saw in her that he couldn’t see in you.  You really couldn’t blame her for being worried. She was your older sister, after all, the task of protecting you instilled in her from the day you left the womb, and clearly not gone now. But things were different now. You were all adults, you had more life experience and perspective, and most importantly, whatever was going on between you and Joel wasn’t real, regardless of how much you might have wanted it to be.
“Yeah, when we were eighteen. I think it’ll be fine,” you dismissed, as if anything was ever that simple. 
“And he seems like a sweetie now. I think my own parents were wishing I brought him home for the holidays,” your cousin, ever the peacekeeper, added as she attempted to diffuse the quickly escalating tension between you and your sibling. 
“He was also a sweetie thirteen years ago when he led you on, then got someone pregnant,” your sister snapped back with a huff, crossing her arms over her chest and turning her back to you. 
“Okay, that’s enough,” you declared, watching your breath float away in a cold puff of air. “Can we go inside now? I think my toes are gonna fall off.”
After a side eye from your sister and a nod of agreement from your cousin, the three of you headed back inside, where you made quick work of grabbing yet another drink and finding the fireplace.
A few couches were arranged by the fireplace, some filled from edge to edge with sleeping, snuggling children who were exhausted by the excitement of a holiday party, others with some of the older members of your family who simply needed a break from it all. Among them all, you were surprised to find Joel, enthusiastically talking to none other than your father. 
Your father was probably one of the most difficult people in your life to impress. He’d maybe told you that he was proud of you a total of five times in your life. Yet, he looked content, hell, happy as he spoke to your fake boyfriend. 
Part of you felt bad as you found your way to the empty spot on the couch next to Joel, but you were cold, and you weren’t going to pass up on the opportunity to warm up by the fire and the man that you had found was a bit of a human furnace. 
When Joel caught sight of you, he smiled and beckoned you over, and you made quick work of maneuvering yourself past the coffee table between the couch. Once you sat down, Joel surprised you by greeting you with a gentle peck on the lips. The action temporarily shocked you, and you desperately hoped that the feeling was not reflected on your face. The naturalness of it all almost felt as if you’d done it a thousand times, and you tried your best to suppress the part of you that wanted to do it a thousand more. 
“Hi honey,” Joel greeted you sweetly, his hand almost immediately finding yours. It all felt so right, and if you weren’t so endeared by him in the moment, you certainly would’ve been mildly panicking. 
“It was nice meeting you, Joel, but I’m old and I’m tired, so I’m gonna head out,” your father explained, giving you a half nod as he began to stand up. 
“Bye, dad. I’ll see you on Christmas?” you asked him, ignoring the panicked look that Joel was certainly sending your way. 
“Sounds like a plan. Love you. Get home safe,” he bid the two of you farewell before leaving without much other fanfare.
“Why didn’t you tell me that was your dad?” Joel asked you, looking at you with wide eyes. You laughed a little bit at his panic, finding the dumbfounded look on his face more adorable than you’d like to admit. 
“Thought it might’ve come up in conversation, or something,” you shrugged, suddenly feeling the exhaustion of the day, mixed with the criminally strong punch set in. “Why do you care so much? Trying to make a good impression, Miller?” you teased. 
“You’re the worst,” he groaned, then laughed as you snuggled up to his side. You weren’t exactly sure whether the laugh was coming from discomfort or relief, but with the bone-deep cold you were feeling and alcohol in your system, you couldn’t exactly bring yourself to care. “You’re also really cold. Are you okay?”
“Mmm, you’re really warm,” you replied, settling against his warm body unconsciously.
“Someone’s feeling the punch,” he replied, wrapping an arm around you as you closed your eyes. 
“It was way stronger than it needed to be,” you agreed in a murmur against his sweater. “Thank you for being such a good fake boyfriend tonight.”
“It was actually pretty fun. I like your family a lot,” he confessed, trying his best to maintain eye contact with you despite the fact that you were in the express lane to dreamland and your blinks were beginning to turn into miniature naps.
“Everyone liked you too. I owe you,” you yawned, dropping your head from the soft fabric of his sweater to the denim of his jeans.
“Mhm. Wanna head home?” he asked.
“How’d you know?” you responded as Joel chuckled above you. 
The ride back home was a mostly quiet one, with Christmas music playing softly on the radio and you dozing off in the passenger seat. Every now and then Joel glanced over at you, and the few times that your eyes were actually open, you wondered what it was that he was thinking. Was he checking up on you to make sure you were still alive? Probably. But you just swore there was something else in his eyes, something you’d seen when Ben looked at your sister, or when your parents looked at each other. 
But that was probably just the exhaustion speaking. 
Once you arrived at your sister’s place, Joel made quick work of helping you get inside safely, even helping you get to bed at your own insistence. Even in your not sober and exhausted state, you knew that you didn’t want the night to end. Even in your less than ideal state of mind, you knew that the way you were feeling about Joel was unsustainable. 
The soft, dim lighting of a restaurant that felt fancy even for you seemed to beam down on you, encouraging little beads of sweat to collect at your forehead and the creases of your arms. As much as you were desperately trying to maintain the appearance of being cool and collected, your staccato breaths, wobbly smile, and the rapidly appearing perspiration were quite clearly selling you out. You couldn’t help but to stare down at your menu like it was the most interesting thing in the world, the intimidation of sitting across from your fake partner’s ex-wife’s heated glare far more intense than what you’d expected. Far worse than sharing a brief, yet artificial moment of PDA in a grocery store, and far more than you expected to be able to handle. Yet, Joel had done the same for you, and really, it was only fair that you would do the same. 
After the Christmas party, you hadn’t really expected to hear anything else from your date. As far as you knew, Joel had only agreed to play pretend with you for one night, and as fun as that night was, it was all fake. 
As much as you hated to admit it, your sister was maybe, just a little bit right about the whole ordeal not being your best idea. You couldn’t help but think about the two of you at the party—how he’d held your hand like your hands were two pieces of a puzzle that were made for each other, how he cuddled with you on the couch and looked at you with such genuine concern when he thought you might not be well, but above all, you were stuck on his confession to you, about how beautiful you looked and how scared he was to tell you. 
You couldn’t believe that you were still making these kinds of stupid decisions, the type of decisions that made you want to lay in bed all day with a pint of ice cream and a soap opera playing on the revision, and not do work—the very work that you came back to Austin to do. 
But despite your urge to shut down, you tried your absolute best to do what you set out to do. You spent hours tossing ingredients in mixers, whipping egg whites into stiff peaks, and narrowly avoiding burning yourself as you took trays out of the oven. Only at the end of the day, as you wiped your forehead with a flour-covered arm and checked your phone did you realize that you’d missed a call from Joel. 
After a quick call-back and an explanation to your sister that you would no longer be third wheeling the night’s tree-lighting ceremony with her, you had somehow managed to renew your little agreement with Joel. Your task being a performance of being the perfect, dream girlfriend to Joel Miller, a task that you hoped you would be up for.
But as you sat at the table next to Joel, nearly sweating your mascara off, you began to question the extent of your capabilities within this particular role. 
“I haven’t seen you in a while,” Naomi began, the sharp wing of her eyeliner and the depths of her eyes feeling like they were poking and prodding into you, searching for any weakness or insecurity to be exploited. “What are you up to these days?”
“Well, apart from making the most of my time with Joel,” you looked over at him with what you hoped appeared to be adoration, but probably came across more accurately as the fear you were experiencing, and grabbed his bicep–what you hoped to appear like a fond move, but was something more like you bracing onto him for dear life. “I’m a consultant in New York City. It definitely takes up a lot of my time, but it also feels like every second of free time I have, I’m spending it on the phone with this one.”
You and Joel chuckled, your choked out laugh feeling far more artificial than his. You hoped to whatever powers above that you would somehow manage to convince the couple across from you to believe a story that you could barely even believe yourself, although, with the way that Naomi was still glaring at you, you doubted that being the case. 
“That sounds fun,” she replied, leaning forward slightly as if she was ready to sink her teeth into you two and absolutely tear you apart. “So how’d you two reconnect?”
Joel, clearly sensing your discomfort, came to your rescue with a quick, preplanned answer. “Remember when I took Sarah to Manhattan earlier this year?” Joel began, averting his gaze from you and onto his ex, who now shot Joel a pleasant, yet, rehearsed smile. 
“Mhm,” she replied, seemingly already entertained by where the story might end up going. 
“Well, we ran into each other at a coffee shop a few blocks away from her workplace and really just hit it off. The rest is history,” he said, turning his attention back towards you.
“You two were hitting it off in front of our daughter?” Naomi asked, the slight tilt to her head and hint of smirk on her face revealing that her question was less out of concern for their child, and more out of taking an opportunity to antagonize the two of you.
“It was more like reconnecting. I swear, Joel is the only person in the world to think that recommending my favorite bagel shop in the city is flirting,” you attempted to save, not wanting to be labeled as a threat to their child just a few minutes into dinner.
“To my credit, you were selling it pretty hard. You were practically saying, ‘come with me to get bagels tomorrow,’” Joel added on, seemingly lighting up as the two of you added more and more to your fake meet-cute.
“Next time you visit we’ll get all the bagels you want, my love. We can even split them Lady and The Tramp style,” you giggled, feeling your cheeks warm as you imagined you and Joel at the opposite ends of one cream cheese filled bagel.
“Okay, yeah, I get it. I was just joking, anyway,” she replied, clearly fed up with the two of you.
“Sorry,” you apologized, actually feeling a little bad about how long your little bit had gone on. “What about you two? How’d you and Henry meet?”
“It’s actually a pretty cute story,” Henry spoke up after being a passive spectator for an uncomfortable period of time. “Noms had just moved out west a little bit after the divorce, and the two of us met in a yoga class. I accidentally took her yoga mat, and it was… what did you say earlier? The rest was history?”
The two of them shared an intimate laugh, one that indicated that they were referencing some sort of inside joke, just as you and Joel had earlier after you’d shared what you’d been doing with your life since high school. You glanced over at Joel, his pressed smile and slightly furrowed brows a clear indicator that he was not impressed by the two of them. Thankfully, before the tension could go any further, a kind waitress interrupted the conversation with the simple question of whether or not your table was ready to order. 
Shortly after ordering, the conversation picked up once again. While you occasionally were able to ask a question or two about the couple sitting across from you, it above all felt like you and Joel were being interrogated about the nature of your relationship. Lies easily flowed from both of your tongues, sandwiched between fond looks shared between the two of you as if there was no one else in the room, and stolen moments of physical affection that seemed to warm you from the inside-out.
As the two of you added more and more onto your story, the more you began to yearn for the more intricate details of it all to be true.
You wanted to receive a bouquet of flowers on your doorstep from someone almost two-thousand miles from you, just because he’d been thinking about you. You wanted to have a reason to come back and visit the city you grew up in, and to learn about every new hole-in-the-wall shop that had come to mean a lot to him. You wanted to take on his hobbies, and have him take on some of yours despite you both being terrible at them, solely because you knew that the other cared about it. The longer the night went on, the clearer everything became: you wanted all of this and more with Joel, but you’d clearly never be able to have him. 
It was no longer a question to you of if your arrangement should end, and had clearly become a matter of when it was going to end. No matter how much fun you were having holding Joel’s hand under the table and feeding the man next to you bites of scallop, you knew it wasn’t sustainable to be feeling so strongly about a situation that had been doomed from the start.
You were undoubtedly treading a very thin line between getting your hopes up for what wasn’t, but could be, and savoring every last second you had with Joel, pretending to be something that the two of you were very obviously not. With the arrival and passing of dessert, and the final spoonfuls of a split chocolate cake, you’d realized that your time with Joel had ended; a conclusion as bitter as the dark chocolate garnish on your shared plate.
The two of you held hands once more as you walked out to his car, fingers lingering together even after the couple you’d been putting a show on were safely tucked away in their own vehicle. You didn’t talk much on your ride back home, the air thick with a tension that made you wonder if Joel had come to a similar conclusion of his own during dinner. The radio filled in the silence where words lacked, covers of Christmas songs filling in for the conversation that surely should’ve been occurring. 
After a ride that felt like it had lasted forever and no time at all, you had finally arrived at your sister’s place, the final resting ground for whatever your relationship had been.
“Thanks,” you said as you unclipped your seatbelt, wanting to rip the bandaid off and leave as quickly as humanly possible, while also lingering in his car forever. “Have a good night.”
“Yeah,” he looked at you for a moment as if he had something more to say, but was holding his tongue. Taking one long look at your face, then offering you a weak half smile, he spoke once more. “You too.”
-
Though you were mildly disappointed when you didn’t hear back from Joel, you couldn’t say that you were particularly surprised. Everything about your final encounter in his truck indicated that the very brief chapter in both of your lives of pretending to be what you both were not was over. Still, you couldn’t deny the remnant ache in your chest when your father asked where your boyfriend was over Christmas dinner, or the pathetic way that you secretly hoped every ring of the bakery door would deliver you Joel Miller, much like your first day back in Austin did. 
Once again, you attempted to drown yourself in your work, working from open to close at your sister’s bakery and ending the day with sore legs, flour in your hair, and an intense desire to never consume anything sweet ever again. You somehow even managed to convince your boss to let you clock a few virtual hours at your actual job, spending all of the time that you were not at the bakery in your temporary bedroom, doing whatever tasks would set you ahead by the time you returned to work.
You realized you weren’t being particularly subtle with the fact that you were trying to distract yourself from something, and while your sister did her best to be whatever it was that you needed during such a bizarre time, she didn’t exactly press, though you were sure she had a bit of an idea of what was making you feel so down. 
“Hey, I have a catering job for us,” she informed you one morning as the two of you worked side-by-side. 
“When? You remember I’m leaving tomorrow, right?” you sighed, hoping your sister recognized your mild annoyance as less with her, and more with your time in Austin as a whole. You desperately wanted to leave, but you’d promised to stay until the new year began, when orders typically began to slow down. (“Resolutions,” she told you over the phone as you prepared to come back home.)
“Of course I remember,” she shook her head playfully as she spoke to you. “It’s tonight. At the Spoke. They’re doing some New Year’s Eve thing, and I think it’ll be fun.”
“I think maybe we have two different definitions of fun,” you commented, continuing to roll out the piece of dough in front of you.
“Oh, come on. What were you going to be doing anyway?” she pressed you, her attempt to get you to get out of the house clear as day now. “Working in your bedroom during your break? Sulking for reasons you refuse to share with me? Watching episodes of The Bachelor that you’ve seen a hundred times already?”
“Ugh, okay, okay. I’ll do it. We’ll do it,” you finally conceded.
“Good! Now, do you want a coffee? We’re gonna have a lot of trays to finish today.”
You couldn’t deny that it made you feel a little bit better knowing that you had somewhere fun to go that night. Despite living in Texas for the first portion of your life, you’d never had the opportunity to go to any sort of dance hall, and though you’d probably be spending the majority of your time distributing cupcakes to people, you were excited to be doing something fun regardless. 
After your longest and final shift at the bakery, your sister hugged you as tight as she could manage and thanked you for everything you’d helped her accomplish this holiday season, before sending you back home to get dressed up for the dance hall. After deciding to go full cowgirl with your attire, you peered in your sibling’s closet for any article of clothing that you could borrow for the night, and ultimately left her closet with a completely different wardrobe.
Even as you and your sister arrived at the dance hall early to set up, patrons were already beginning to flood into the venue. Their excited energy was contagious, and you couldn’t help but feel invigorated, your downtrodden feelings being replaced with much more positive ones.
As the night went on, you found yourself having more and more fun, whether it was from distributing pastries to rosy-cheeked dancers who paused to take a break from the floor, or flirty gentlemen who took the brief moment of your fingers touching over a distributed cupcake to ask to buy you a drink. While you were sure that you would’ve had a decent time doing nothing at home, then popping a bottle of champagne at midnight, the night was certainly shaping up to be a memorable one. 
Time seemed to be flying by as you stood by the table, offering cupcakes to whoever passed you by. It wasn’t long before Ben arrived, and your sister was excusing herself from the table to share a dance with her partner. You watched the two of them with adoration, thinking of how you would love to have someone to come sweep you off your feet and offer to dance with you–well, someone other than a sweaty patron. As much as you’d tried to convince yourself over the years that you weren’t cut out for relationships, your trip and weird fake dating arrangement with Joel had made you realize something of the opposite. Maybe you’d be ringing in the New Year with a Hinge download. 
After passing out the final cupcake you had, you began to break down boxes and put away some of the other items you’d brought to help the distribution process go more smoothly. With your back turned to the dance floor as you dropped leftover napkins into a plastic bag, you were surprised as you heard a familiar voice greet you from behind.  
“Joel?” you said as you looked up at the patiently waiting person, surprised to see his face after such an abrupt ending and a period of radio silence between the two of you.
“Hi,” he said, almost shyly. 
“Hi. Sorry, we just ran out of cupcakes” you stated, trying to pretend that things were business as usual between the two of you–whatever business as usual meant now. 
“I don’t…” Joel trailed off before ditching the idea altogether, surely figuring that whatever he had to say was more important than an explanation of how he was uninterested in the treats you were serving. “Can we talk?” 
“I mean,” you hesitated for a moment, wondering if it would be better to avoid everything altogether and simply move on with your life. You could simply tell him no, hop on a plane the following afternoon, then never think about Joel again. It would all be so simple and easy–the exact opposite of what your relationship had spiraled into during your time back in Austin.  “Yeah. Sure. Let’s talk.”
The truth was, as easy as you would’ve liked it to be, you were intrigued by Joel’s nervous body language. As he shifted from foot to foot and subtly picked at his hand, you imagined him walking into the hall with his friends, or whoever it was that he came with, seeing you, and immediately going to leave the venue, only staying from the coercion and peer pressure of his peers. You imagined him spending the night working up the nerve to come say to you what was left unspoken the last time the two of you talked, hoping that the beers in his system and all of the dancing would finally get enough jitters out of him to finally address you. 
“I’m all ears,” you shrugged, crossing your arms over your chest in a subconscious protective measure. Even though he could do no physical harm to you, your brain was all too aware of the damage he’d done to your heart in the past. 
“I’m sorry. For everything. For not reaching out to you after our dinner, and for being an oblivious idiot in high school. And I guess, for being an oblivious idiot now,” he began to blather, glancing down nervously at his shoes as if they were the most interesting thing in the world.
You were surprised by his words and slightly unsure of what to say, or even think in response. Now that you had heard his apology, you were beginning to have an idea of the direction that this confession was likely going to take, and you couldn’t tell if you should be leaping for joy or finding the nearest exit. Maybe you could figure out a way to do both, jumping and skipping as you left through the fire exit.
Joel began to search for his next words and you tried to ignore the racing heartbeat in your chest as you attempted to search for your own. Just when you were thinking that it would be impossible for your situation to get any more uncomfortable, a man slightly shorter than Joel and who oddly resembled him sauntered up to the table where the two of you were attempting to speak.
“It’s gonna be twelve soon! Come dance!” the man shouted at Joel, his accent heavy and his words slurred as he grabbed onto Joel’s flannel sleeve. Joel shot him a dirty look, one that clearly communicated his annoyance, but didn’t exactly scream surprised. 
“Not now, Tommy,” Joel reprimanded, his gritted teeth and tense demeanor making you want to laugh–if not for his reaction, then over the surrealistic nature of the scene. Mere moments into some sort of apology or confession, the two of you had been interrupted by his intoxicated acquaintance asking him to dance. 
“Yes now, Joel. C’mon, lighten up!” the man practically whined, eliciting an exasperated eye roll from Joel. He looked back at you with tense shoulders and worry in his eyes, and you couldn’t exactly tell if he was looking for backup or sympathy. Instead of responding to him with either, you gave him a shy shrug of approval.
“We can talk while we dance?” you suggested, part of you hoping that maybe the distraction of doing something else while you spoke would make your conversation a little less difficult. 
Taking Joel’s hand, you followed the men out to the dance floor, where Tommy had disappeared just as quickly as he had appeared to interrupt Joel’s confession. Part of you wondered if this had been premeditated, or if Joel’s drunk friend was simply not able to read the room.
“Before we start, I have a confession of my own,” you began, hoping that what you were about to say would at least lighten up the mood of your conversation. Clearly, the two of you struggled with communicating your feelings, and you hoped sharing what you were prepared to share would at least be helpful in opening up a line of communication.
“Yeah?” he said hopefully. You tried your best to fight the smile that was threatening to appear on your face at the sound of his tone, but ultimately failed.
“I don’t have a damn clue how to do this,” you confessed, glancing over at the pairings around you moving together as if they had done these steps a million times–and knowing your town, they probably had. 
“It’s fine,” he said without an ounce of judgment in his voice. “I’ll teach you how.”
And he did, his mouth pressed closely to your ear as he counted off numbers in time with the live band just a few feet away from you, and directed your body left, right, back, and forward until you finally seemed to get the hang of the dance. Though there was still an elephant remaining in the room, dancing seemed to be successful in alleviating some of the tension that lingered. 
“Is it okay if we continue our conversation?” Joel asked as the two of you took a synchronized step back. Your eyes were trained on your nearly matching boots, and the thought of having to face your feelings–or the lack thereof–made your stomach churn. Once again, you began to consider the most efficient exit routes.
“Of course,” you replied, doing your best to mask the nerves that had bubbled right back up as you finally met his eye. 
“I was so excited to see you, when I found out you were back in town. I guess there was still part of me that wondered what things might have been like if things were different. Then I saw you in the store, and we started doing… whatever we were doing, and I just kept wanting more. It just felt so real, too real, and I started wanting more than what I could have. I mean, you live so far away, and even if you didn’t, I’m sure you have romantic prospects all over the place. Why would you settle for me?”
You almost couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Joel still thought about you? He had begun to want more in the same way that you did the more your fake relationship progressed? He thought he wasn’t good enough for you?
“Joel-” you began, his name slipping off your tongue involuntarily. You desperately wanted to dispute his claims, but he didn't let you finish. 
“I guess I just wanted to apologize for how I acted. I didn’t want you to assume that things ended how they ended for any other reason other than me making terrible decisions as usual.” Once again, it was Joel’s turn to look uncomfortable, and you couldn’t exactly blame him after what he shared with you. 
“I accept your apology, but it wasn’t all your fault. And you’re not an idiot,” you clarified in between a spin, finishing your sentence as Joel pulled you back to him. “I was disappointed, but I understood. Honestly, I was starting to feel the same way with you. Our fake dating was starting to feel a little too much like real dating, and I didn’t want to get my hopes up when you were clearly uninterested.”
“But I’m not uninterested,” Joel looked at you with a glimmer of hope in his eyes, which only seemed to be highlighted by the fact that his arm was draped across your torso, a welcome result of the spinning move. “I want to try, if you want to try. The distance is a hurdle, but we can give it a shot, at the very least. We can visit each other when we get the chance. We can watch the same episodes of The Bachelor, then discuss it afterward.”
“Oh my god, who told you about that?” you remarked, interrupting his big speech. 
“Your sister. At the Christmas party,” Joel replied, his cheeks flush with the adrenaline of sharing his feelings with you and the excitement of dreaming of a future with you.
“She’s unbelievable,” you murmured, shaking your head the slightest bit before Joel continued.
“But that’s besides the point. We can send each other delivered gifts, and can talk to each other every day, like what you told Naomi.”
“What I told her when I was lying?” you asked with a laugh, reminiscing on your dinner.
“Well, yeah… But it doesn’t have to be a lie. I can come visit you, and you can come visit me. We can get bagels at your favorite shop when I come to the city. I can teach you how to dance when you come to Austin. Maybe it’s crazy, but I think we can try. Should try.”
“I would like nothing more than that,” you confessed, an honest truth that seemed to light you up from the inside. Hearing Joel’s almost crazed rant about how passionate he was about trying made you a little less afraid of your possible future together, and a whole lot more sure about your feelings for the man. 
“Then let’s do it. Let’s do it right this time,” he said as the music finally came to a conclusion, being swapped out for none other than the chant of a countdown. 
Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. 
As cheers of ‘Happy New Years’ rang out, Joel gently directed your face towards his, your noses and foreheads pleasantly bumping into each other. As your lips finally touched, it felt as if two puzzle pieces designed for each other and meant to be together had finally fallen into place, the rumble of fireworks outside celebrating the long-awaited union between the two of your bodies.  
In the past, the affection the two of you had shared had felt real, but deep down you were aware that it was nothing more than a farce. A façade to trick judgmental exes and prying family members. But this time, the affection was different. 
The growing warm feeling in your chest, the electric sparks on your skin where Joel was touching you, and the look of admiration in his eyes once you’d finally pulled away told you everything you needed to know. 
This was real.
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anticanonsposts · 6 months ago
Note
Hii
I have an idea and it's kind of silly but I'll ask anyway because I love your writing
But you could do a Konig domestic where he passes out for some reason (not a battle wound or anything) and reader take care of him and then he's SO clingy afterwards
Tks 🤍
omg tysm!!! also i appreciate the requests so please keep making them!!! (i live off of the validation i get on here)
also i have some more stuff in the drafts that i wanna write, and i love the trend thats been going around about nerd!konig and i rly want to contribute so stay tuned!!!
cw: none
König had such a big day. His girlfriend y/n had been working tirelessly for the past couple weeks at her new job. She was definitely more stressed out than normal and König felt so bad. So he decided to run multiple errands that day (Friday) before she got home for the weekend. First he went grocery shopping, a smaller store and Costco to get some essentials. Then he came home and cleaned their apartment from top to bottom, because he knew it wasn’t her favorite and it would be so nice for her to come home after a long week. When he was at the store he also made sure to pick up her favorite snacks, drinks, and ingredients for dinner. By the time he was all done he fell onto the couch exhausted. Flicking his wrist up he saw that it was 4:30 which meant that in a couple hours y/n would be home. He felt pretty satisfied with himself, but also very tired. As he was thinking about getting up to shower and wait for her to get home, the grips of sleep clasped over his eyes and he fell asleep :/.
Some time later, y/n opens the front door to her and König’s shared apartment and walks in, ready to just relax this weekend. Immediately she notices how clean everything is. After putting her bag down she goes over to the refrigerator, knowing there wouldn't be much in it since they needed to go grocery shopping. To her lovely surprise whens he swung open the door she saw all of her favorites. This makes her connect the dots in her mind, König must have done all of this while she was at work today, how sweet. 
“He’ll be getting something nice later” she mutters to herself, smiling as she walks away toward the bedroom. But she quickly stops when she looks over to see Konig, absolutely passed out on the couch. 
Carefully pitter pattering over to him, she pauses and lovingly gazes down at him. His mouth slightly agape, a small snore coming from him. Although he looks precious sleeping on the couch, she knew that if he stayed like that, he would wake up with the worst back pain ever. So gently she started to sit him up, and led him half asleep to their bedroom. König would have absolutely no recollection of this when he woke up, thinking he had either moved himself to the bed or that he had fallen asleep on the bed by accident. 
Once in bed, y/n gently arranged pillows and squishmallows (shameless self insert <3) around König’s body to make him as cozy as possible. Once satisfied she started to strip so that she could go shower. 
About ten minutes later, König gently woke up to a slight steam in the room, and the smell of strawberry and rose from y/n’s soaps. He stirred more, bringing his hands to his eyes to rub them awake. Then, with a sudden jolt, he sat up, feeling panicked. 
How could he let himself fall asleep?? He was supposed to finish setting up the perfect, relaxing evening for y/n. But no, his sleepy ass just had to ‘rest his eyes’ for a second.
But before his thoughts could spiral too much, he hears the shower being turned off. So, quietly he meanders to the bathroom door, slipping off his shirt, hoping to join her in the shower. Giving the door a few soft taps so as not to spook y/n. He’s met with the door swinging open and a beaming (naked) y/n, her body freshly moisturized, hair tied up since she washed it the day before, and in the middle of her skin care routine. 
“Hey baby! I noticed everything in the kitchen, and I really appreciate it.” she says, eyes shining with nothing but love. It is returned by König’s eyes, practically with hearts in them. Nothing made him happier than doing things for her, other than being with her. 
Wordlessly, he steps closer to her, pulling her body close to him by the small of her back and shoulder. He knows from past experience to not touch her face while she is doing her skin care, (he has been reprimanded before). Bending over slightly, he presses his lips to hers taking a breath in as he does so. Pulling away, he sits himself on the closed lid of their toilet that of course has a fuzzy pink cover on it. 
Now taking a moment to scan his eyes over her body. Not quite in a hungry way, but more so admirable. Taking a few moments to appreciate every plush curve, every supple, plump part of her body. She was too perfect, she looked like a renaissance painting, something that an artist created when they were tasked with painting beauty itself. 
Broken out of his haze, y/n says, “Can I do your skincare?” 
“Yes of course.” he responds, giddy inside. Whenever she offered to use her products on him, he was always super happy. It meant that she would be looking at his face, and giving him small, gentle touches. He had never been with someone like this. His past was mostly hook ups, a couple ‘relationships’ here and there but nothing this intimate. Having someone’s gentle hands glide over your face over and over again as truly more intimate and sensual than any sex he had ever had. Now, he had no idea what products she was using on him, she could be painting his face purple for all he knew, if it weren’t for the mirror. But this was part of the trust he liked about this activity. Knowing that she was sharing her products that she spent her money on, that were clearly good enough for her beautiful skin, and she was sharing them for his scarred, damaged skin. 
Once she started putting eye cream on him, König took his large arms and wrapped them around her body, pressing his bare chest to her naked body. Minutes passed as she finished the routine, and all König could focus on were how pretty her eyes looked when she focused on something. As well as how their bodies moved opposite each other with their breaths. 
Y/n, smoothing out the last moisturizer onto her boyfriend’s face, letting each of her hands rest on either side of his face, palms pressed against his cheeks, fingertips gently clasping onto his face. His face has its share of scares, but is warmer and plumper now that he has been out of the military for a while. She appreciates everything about this man, his tenderness, his patience, and of course how obsessed with her he is. Then breaking her own rules after skin care, she starts pressing soft kisses along his cheeks and jaw, then resting her forehead against his when she was done. 
This man’s eyes welled up with tears. He loved how soft she was with him, how kindly she treated him. His mind started to wonder as he started giving her small half blinks, completely enamored with his girlfriend. 
“König?” y/n says softly, it was about the third time she called his name. Bringing him out of his stupor. “I’m gonna fix my hair really quick then we can cuddle ok?” she says raising her eye brows slightly. Earning a small nod from König, she figured he would leave and go wait for her on their bed. But instead, he slightly loosens his grip and allows her to stand up. Facing the mirror again, y/n starts to fix her hair from the various clips she used to clip up her curls for her shower. König, still in the bathroom, chose to stand right behind y/n. Completely behind her, pressing his front against her back, bracing his arms on either side of her body. 
He can be pretty clingy sometimes, but this was surprising, even for him. Nonetheless, y/n doesn’t mind and finishes with her hair before turning her body. Signaling to König that she was leaving. He holds onto her left hand as she basically leads him to the bed. Quickly breaking from his grasp, she goes to her closet and puts on one of König’s shirts, and a pair of undies before climbing onto the bed and pulling König along with her. 
He grabs the tv remote and switches it on, telling her to put on whatever she wants. Then he settles himself in between her legs, now that she’s lying on her back. And nuzzles his face into her chest, wrapping his big ass arms around her middle and sighs contently. She reciprocates by running her fingers through his hair which just brings him past cloud nine. 
Y/n switches on some tv show that she has been binging recently and König soon falls asleep against her chest, feeling completely at peace. 
notes:
I know this isn’t exactly what the prompt says?? I rly just wanted to write sm where König does a bunch of little things for the reader 
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trippinsorrows · 23 hours ago
Text
without you + four
Tumblr media
authors note: damn. it's been a minute. wanted to at least update this story for ya'll before christmas. i'll try my best to not make the next update take as long.
warnings: none
song inspo: be without you by mary j. blige
one + two + three
words: 5k
“Ooooh, this some nice white people shit.”
“Alexis!”
Leave it to this girl to always say some out of pocket shit at the wrong time. You offer an apologetic gaze to the workers who cast her an almost strange look at her outburst before elbowing your best friend. “Bitch, would you shut the fuck up.”
She sucks her teeth, offering an excuse versus an explanation. “What I say?” She gestures around the backyard that’s just about fully decorated. “You know black people. We usually got that one nice centerpiece of them big ass balloons and a Sam’s or Costco sheet cake for baby showers. That’s about it.” Rolling your eyes, she just has to add on. “It’s like when we have a funeral, and they done put Grandma Rose in them ghetto ass clouds talking about some sunrise to sunset.”
At that, you have to laugh. “Okay, you not wrong there.”
“I’m never wrong. Duh.”
“Whatever.” You take in once more just the opulent display that Alexis and Kaylah have been working on over the past few weeks. Initially, they wanted to find a venue to rent, but considering this baby shower will only include close friends and family, a venue seemed like too  much. Not to mention that Joe has been adamant about trying to keep this pregnancy as private as possible. Not necessarily from a place of wanting to hide it. No, if that was the case, he wouldn’t have shared some of the maternity pictures you took not even two weeks ago to his Instagram.
Or even some faceless photos of Callie. 
But, that’s something he can control. A sharing he has autonomy over and full say in. Paparazzi crashing your baby shower is not, thus the two of you deciding that the shower should just take place at your home.
And given the massive size of not only the actual house but your backyard, it’s a great decision. 
“It’s all looking so nice.” Kaylah’s voice enters the conversation as she walks over, clipboard in hand and a smile on her face. “How you doing, mama bear?”
Rolling your eyes, you answer honestly, “feeling big and pregnant.”
“Well….”
“Shut up, Lex,” you mutter, rubbing your belly. “These babies have definitely been kicking my ass with this back and breast pain.”
Granted, being five months pregnant with triplets, it’s an expected sort of discomfort. It’s helped immensely to have a fiancé that’s home and attentive and always willing to do whatever he needs or rather, whatever you need. He’s taken over Callie duties on the evenings where you just feel tired. He cooks most nights, partially because he knows your feet hurt and are swollen usually. But also, that little traitorous little girl of yours has made it clear she prefers daddy’s food over mommy’s food. He’s even gone as far as calling your mom and asking for tips on how to do Callie’s hair, as your ever growing belly has made that a little bit more difficult.
Put simply, he continues to be the perfect man. You couldn’t have asked for a better partner in life. 
Kaylah moves closer, hand on your stomach. She, along with other close family and friends, never need to ask. It’s just the strangers who you don’t know that need to stay six feet away at all times. “I can’t believe we’re only four months away from meeting them.”
Alexis shakes her head. “Earth, Wind, and Fire truly have no idea what kind of big ass, loving, chaotic family they’re about to be born into.”
Blowing out a breath, you scold her, “girl, how many times I gotta tell you to stop calling them that?”
“Would you prefer Thing 1, 2, and 3?” No answer is all the answer she needs. “That’s what I thought.” And, of course, she has to just sneak on in there another attempt. “If you would just tell me the sexes—”
“Ain’t happening.” You shut that shit down real fast. “Joe and I already made it clear. We’re not revealing that until the shower.” A special thing kept between yourself, your fiancé, and the child you already share, as Callie was present for your last checkup appointment where you were able to find out the sexes. 
“Bitch, the shower is literally tomorrow.”
“And you, along with everyone else, will find out tomorrow then.” Alexis is visibly, playfully annoyed, as Kaylah only laughs. 
“I understand. We’re just excited. That’s all.”
And, you get it. The farther along you get in your pregnancy, the more excitement you feel at getting to meet your babies. All the shopping, the setting up of the nurseries (you and Joe decided on two rooms), even the deciding of the names. Even more, it’s been so special to have a partner in all of this. You might not have gotten that with Callie, but you’re damn sure getting it now, and it feels good.
—------
“I don’t know if I should take her to Disney by myself.”
Joe’s seemingly random statement takes you by surprise. Turning to him with a frown, you ask, “what?”
He sighs, also angling his body to you while his focus remains on your belly. “You’re so far along in your pregnancy. Anything could happen.”
“But, it won’t,” you stress, reaching up to palm his cheek. “Joe, I’ll be fine. My mom will be here with me. Both Kaylah and Alexis are less than 15 minutes away. I won’t be alone.” Because that seems to be what he’s thinking. “I want you guys to go. She’s really looking forward to it, and not just because the kid lives and breathes Disney.” Largely thanks to yourself and your mom. “Plus, that’s what she wants for her birthday.”
“Or a puppy.”
“I swear to God, if you or your mini me bring up that damn puppy one more time.”
He chuckles and moves to kiss your temple. “Just don’t want to not be here if you need me…”
“I’ll always need you in one way or another, Joe.” The God’s honest truth. “But, our daughter needs you more, and I want her to get in as much one-one-time with you before the babies arrive and she suddenly has to share you with three siblings.”
He eyes you, recognizing the unspoken concern in your statement. “You still think she’s going to get jealous?”
“I know she is,” you answer, matter-of-factly. “She’s a little kid. A mama and daddy’s girl. It’s natural. We’ll just have to make sure we reassure and look out for any signs.” Though you know not everything can be caught, and kids are sometimes good at hiding what they don’t want their parents to see. Granted, Callie has always been pretty open with you, so you hope that doesn’t change. 
As the two of you move back to folding clothes, you find yourself changing the subject, “also, not related, but before my baby brain kicks in, I was thinking, what if I applied for a job at her school?”
It’s something you thought about when you and Joe toured the private school that Ellie attends, a nice, expensive but safe option considering sending Callie to public school in the fall doesn't seem like the best or smartest move.
Working at your daughter’s school is also just something that would make you feel a little better. A new school. A new educational milestone. You wanna support her and be there for her as much as you can.
However, the less than thrilled look on Joe’s face definitely takes you by surprise. 
“You’re gonna work?”
It’s such a simple but silly question that makes you scoff quietly, “of course. Why wouldn’t I?”
He shrugs, grabbing another item to fold. A part of you is wondering if you’re even going to have room for the gifts you’ll receive at the baby shower tomorrow. You two have already gotten so many things, clothes especially. “Maybe because we’re about to have three newborns.” 
Rolling your eyes, you calmly counter, “No shit. I’m not thinking of going back right away. Maybe next fall. They’ll be one. Callie will be starting first grade, so it would be nice to be working at the place where she, and they, eventually, will be at.”
When he doesn’t say anything, you’re inclined to prompt a follow up when he finally breaks his silence. “I don’t know how that’s supposed to work.”
Frowning, you ask, “what do you mean?”
Joe sighs, an edge in his voice. “You seriously want to go back to work when we’ll have three one year-olds?” And before you can respond, he continues. “Who’s going to stay with them, Y/N? You’ll be working. I’ll be on the road—”
“It’s not like we’ll be working 24/7, Joe. And we’ve got a huge support system here. Your family. Kaylah. Alexis. It’s not like we’re alo—”
“You don't need to be working.”
Silence.
It’s a good minute before you speak again. “Excuse me?”
He blows out a breath, running a hand through his hair that’s down and hanging. “I want you to stay home with the kids full time—”
“Joe.” Cutting him off isn’t the best thing, but your emotion is starting to get the best of you. “You know me. You know damn well that I’m not the stay at home wife type. I’ve worked consistently since I was sixteen years-old, and I’m not about to stop just because you want me to.”
You love what you do. Teaching might be a stressful career, but it’s always been more rewarding than anything. And truth be told, you can’t imagine a life for yourself where you’re not doing it in some capacity.
Joe’s voice is even, his expression stern. “It’s not about me, Y/N. It’s about what’s best for the kids.”
“And if what was truly best for them is for me to be here full time, then I would do that, but it’s not necessary—”
“And that’s where I disagree with you,” he pushes back, angled completely toward you, arms crossed. He shrugs. “I think it is.”
Partially taken back by his stance on this, it still doesn’t prevent you from standing your ground. “Well then, I guess we’re not on the same page here then.”
“Not at all.”
It’s a strange thing, being on such opposite ends of the spectrum. Joe has always matched you so well, and unfortunately, that can include the level of stubbornness. He is never one to back down, but neither are you. 
So where does that leave you two?
“Mommy.”
Callie’s quiet voice breaks the intense impasse. Clearing your throat, you turn to her and force a small smile. “What’s up, sis?”
She moves her hands behind her back, teetering up and down on the heels of her feet. “Will you color with me?”
An easy answer if it will get you out of this room that’s suddenly filled with an uncomfortable amount of tension. 
“Callie, mommy and I need a few min—”
“Of course, I’ll color with you, baby.” Again, you fully recognize that cutting him off is rude and not the best way to handle this. A petty way, certainly. But, he also knows that when you get pissed off, it’s best to just give you some space.
Even if it’s not the best thing overall.
Not even bothering to look back at him, you walk over and take Callie’s hand, escorting you both out the room with another word.
Left alone with his thoughts, still irked at the conversation as a whole, Joe quickly and easily realizes telling you what he wanted you to do wasn’t the right approach.
He knows he has good reasons for his preferred plan regarding the whole work thing, but he also knows you, or should know you well enough, to know that trying to tell you what to do has never and will never end well.
It’s just he definitely wasn’t expecting your approach and outlook on this job thing, even if it makes sense for your character and what he knows about you. There was just this part of him that was thinking you’d maybe take a couple years off before returning to teaching. Wait until the kids are a little older. That makes most sense to him, and he’s sure if he maybe responded better and was cleared on his reasoning, you’d have been a bit more receptive.
Maybe not have walked out.
Joe’s phone dinging in his pocket prompts him to pull it out.
Megan: Hey there! Just wanted to follow up and let you know the housing and travel arrangements are all finalized.
Megan: Though I’m curious, you requested a house instead of an apartment? 
Megan: That’s a lot of room for just one man. 😉
Joe does find the added emoji a little strange, maybe unprofessional by some standards, but it’s the least of his worries right now.
Joe: Thank you for the update. My fiancée and daughter will be coming to visit when I have to stay for a few days for filming. Need the room for them.
And, it’s not set to happen very often, his management working with the film execs for a schedule that’s pretty flexible and allows him to be back home the same day for most of the filming. It’s just those few instances where he has to stay overnight, a couple days even, that he and you decided would be the times where you and Callie would stay with him.
Megan: Oh.
For some reason, Megan's response rubs him the wrong way, which is strange because up until this point, he’s had no issues with the young woman. She’s been professional, helpful, and informative. 
Megan: I think it’s so cool how family oriented you are. So freaking sweet.
Joe truly has no idea how to respond to that, because it’s not inherently wrong. If anything, it’s just a compliment, but there’s something about it…
Megan: Anyways, won’t keep ya! Hope you have a great rest of your evening, babe! ❤️
It’s that message, however, that crosses the line, prompting him to reply and remind her of his boundaries.
And her place.
Joe: As you said, I’m very family oriented, so I’d prefer if you didn’t call me that. The emoji is also inappropriate and makes me uncomfortable.
Someone never uncomfortable with setting a boundary, he feels nothing when he sees the typing bubble appear and reappear several times before her response slides in.
Megan: I am SO SO sorry. I’m so used to working with women, so my dialogue is sometimes women coded. Again, my apologies. Have a great evening, Joe.
It’s a response that he appreciates and doesn’t feel the need to respond to. He said what he needed to stay. She apologized and made it right. It’s all water under the bridge.
Joe goes to lock his phone and put it away when a thought crosses his mind. 
You have his passcode, are free to go through his phone, not something that you’ve ever done but something he doesn’t care about regardless. However, if you were to go through it for some reason, seeing this exchange could most definitely make you feel some type of way. 
And, it’s not that he feels guilty, Joe knows he handled it appropriately and accurately. But, he doesn’t want you getting upset, doesn’t need you experiencing any kind of unnecessary stress.
Something he’s already inadvertently contributed to by not handing your argument a few minutes ago correctly. 
None of that is good for you, and especially not for the babies, and when it comes to this pregnancy, he's not taking any risks.
Especially not with you as far along as you are.
Joe ultimately decides to delete the last three texts, letting the conversation stop at the “family oriented” comment from Megan.
Again, he doesn’t need a situation that’s not even a real situation being an issue.
It’s just better this way.
—------
You’re touching up your makeup, about to apply another coat of mascara to add the finishing touches to the complete look for the baby shower when you take a moment to appreciate your appearance. The white dress is beautiful against your melanin, and your mom did the damn thing with your hair. Ultimately deciding to wear your hair natural, mama opted to put it up in a beautiful, fancy updo that perfectly frames and highlights your beat face. 
The final product is something stunning and perfect, the ideal look you wanted and were aiming for on this big, special day. 
A knock on the bathroom door prompts you to lift your gaze to the mirror where you’re met with the lingering stare of your handsome fiancé.
Taking in his outfit, a white, short sleeved button up shirt, khaki shorts, topped off with white and gold Nike Freeks, a small smile falls on your face. It’s the perfect look for him. So Joe.
He walks in and closes the door behind him, coming to stand behind you. Your eyes shut as he holds you, hand on your bump, head in the crook of your neck.
“You look beautiful,” he compliments with a kiss pressed against your moisturized skin. 
“Thank you, baby,” you murmur, reaching up and caressing the back of his head. “I’m sorry….”
“Naw, I’m sorry,” he interrupts in an equal voice, carefully turning you around as looks down with an apologetic countenance. “It wasn’t right for me to try to tell you what to do.”
“Maybe, but I wasn’t exactly trying to be receptive.” Sleeping on it helped you arrive at that realization that with all of the glaring, embarrassing clarity. “I think I’m so used to doing things my way that I forgot it isn’t just about me and what I want, it’s about us and what works for my family.”
“I don’t want to take away from your autonomy, Y/N.”
“I know that, Leati.” Hand moving to palm his face, you remind, “but these babies mean we’re all going to have to adjust one way or another. I might have to take some time off from working full time.”
Because as much as you love what you do, Joe was right in that your kids might need you to be home more. Full time, even. And while it would definitely feel a little off going into a school year and not having a classroom to call yours, taking care of your children and making sure they’re straight would more than fill that void.
“And, I’m going to see about making my part time schedule permanent,” he shares, moving his hand to your hip, giving a gentle squeeze when you open your mouth to protest. “It’s what I want, babe. I told you before, I don’t want to miss anything else.” He leans forward and kisses your forehead, suggesting, “maybe you could do something part time?”
“Maybe.” You shrug, reassuring, “regardless, we’ll figure it out and do what’s best not for you or for me but for our family.”
Because that’s what most important. Doing what’s best not for one but for all of you.
“We will,” he agrees, brushing his lips against yours, “I don’t ever want to go to bed not on good terms again, you understand me?”
Your thighs shouldn’t clench together the way they do at his commanding tone. It’s a serious thing that you agree with, but it’s the combination of his hard body against yours, his cologne invading your senses, and his minty breath against your face that has you pushing back….something.
“Yes, daddy.” A cheeky, double entendre that has his eyes narrowing. 
There's something so innocent yet downright filthy as he promises in a darkened voice, “you know Imma fuck the shit out of you when all is said and done today, right?”
Fuck.
More fluttering, even if it’s something you already know. Because it’s been three days, and that’s far too long to go without your favorite pastime. 
Hand moving over his crotch, you palm his dick through his pants. “Good, cause mama needs her fill.” Licking your lips, you add, “if we had time, I’d suck your dick right now.”
Because five months pregnant or not, so long as you can find a way to have this man inside of you, that’s exactly what you gon’ do. You both love sex too much to go too long without it. And, you both know the window in which you can realistically be sexually active during this pregnancy is waning, so you’ve gotta make the most of the time you do have.
Joe’s glare is light and teasing. “You such a nasty lil’ thing, you know that?”
Smiling and moving your arms around his neck, you cheekily remind him, “but that’s part of why you love me, ain’t it? Because I match your freak. Because mama loves when daddy puts her in her place. Ties, whips and bondage included….”
“Fuck, Y/N, you tryna make me hard?” A rhetorical but also serious question as he drops his hand to your backside, taking a handful of your supple ass in his big hands. “Want daddy to fuck his pussy with all them people down there and outside waiting for u—”
Several hard knocks on the door followed by a familiar voice. “Mommy! Daddy!” A smile breaks on your face as he closes his eyes, clearly trying to settle himself. “Grandma says it’s time!”
Laughing quietly, you call out, “okay, baby. We’ll be out in a few minutes.”
And, of course, your forever inquisitive child has to ask, “what are you guys doing?”
Joe chuckles and slaps your ass before moving to open the door, a grinning Callie smiling even harder as she looks up at her favorite person. “Daddy!”
Reaching for him, Joe doesn’t hesitate to lean over and pick her up. Your smile grows at the sight of Callie dressed in her adorable white and gold dress, your mom also styling her curls into two big pom poms. 
She looks so much like Joe in this moment.
Callie gasps and compliments, “mommy! You look so pretty!”
“Thank you, Callie Bear.” You move over and kiss her cheek, deciding your current look is good enough. 
It’s time to celebrate your growing family.
—------
The Baby Shower is something out of a dream. 
Beautifully decorated, whites, blues, and pinks spread across your backyard, the aesthetic is very Pinterest aligned and everything you could have imagined for a day meant to celebrate the three lives you’ve created. 
Guests including several members of Joe’s family like his mom and sisters, Jon and Josh and their families. Alexis, too, of course. Jadah was invited but unable to make it due to work obligations. Regardless, it’s a wonderful outcome, being surrounded by all the people you love the most here to be with you during this great time in your lives. 
It’s a lot of laughter, a ton of great food, a tremendous amount of gifts, and an abundance of love that's felt from the moment you, Joe, and Callie walk out to the sound of Baby by Ashanti playing. Continues as there’s a damn near mass chorus that’s formed when When I See You by Fantasia comes on.
And the classic dances such as the Wobble and Electric Slide to Candy by Cameo that you most definitely get your big and pregnant ass to partake in.
But, one of your favorite parts has to be the photo station, several photos taken of yourself and Joe, various shots of his hands placed protectively over your stomach. Callie joins you for a couple photos as well, though it’s not missed upon you when she makes a face after one of Joe’s sisters jokingly makes a comment to her about “not being the only kiddo in the house anymore.”
It’s something you’ll certainly circle back around to at the end of the party, and it’s a time that’s nearing as the three of you start to kick off the moment everyone has been waiting for.
Joe’s deep voice travels across the spacious yard as he keeps an arm around you, Callie holds onto his shirt and stands on the other side of him. “We just want to thank all of you for taking time out to be here with us today.” 
“You already know we weren’t about to miss this,” Trinity shouts.
Jon laughs and adds, “hell no. Can’t remember the last time we had a set of triplets join the family.”
“That’s cause it don’t happen a lot in general,” Alexis chimes, sipping on her Henny. “But Big Di—”
“Like Joe said,” you cut her off, already knowing where that was going. “We’re so happy and blessed to have you all in our lives, and it means the world to us that our children, the babies and Callie, have so many people who love them just as much as we do.” 
Because knowing these amazing, wonderful people love your kids, even the ones that haven’t even arrived yet, as much as you and Joe do, truly is the best thing ever.
“But, we all know what ya’ll really wanna know,” Joe chuckles. “You wanna know the genders.” 
A round of agreement prompts laughter with someone shouting out “hell yeah!” and Josh saying something about “winning the bet.” 
As one of the workers brings over the three sets of balloons and pins, you and Joe make sure Callie has the right one before you take over. “Alright, is everyone ready?”
“Girl, would you hurry up? The new season of Baddies drops tonight!”
“Alexis, shut the hell up,” you laugh, shaking your head before turning to Joe. With a head nod, volume increased, you start with an excited tone, “the first baby is…..” And a small second of intentional delay before you pop the balloon, revealing blue confetti. 
More rounds of applause and cheers as Joe proudly announces, “a boy.”
“I knew it!”
“The Tribal Chief got a tribal heir!”
“Whew, sis, start them kegel exercises now!”
When the celebration dies down, Joe and Callie focus on you for your turn. You lift up the balloon as he kicks off this time, “the second baby is….” Another intentional delay followed by a pop, revealing more blue confetti.
Eyes watering, you share loudly and proudly, “another boy!”
The pure excitement on everyone's face, including your mom who has silent tears streaming down her face, has you blotting at your eyes. This moment couldn’t be anymore perfect.
Joe moves to pick up Callie, kissing her cheek, asking, “you ready, Callie Bear?” She nods with excitement, you and Joe speaking in synchronization as you stand close to him with your hand on his stomach, “and the third baby is…..” Callie counts to three, closes her eyes, and pops the balloon.
And as pink confetti blends with the blue, she shouts with all the happiness, “a baby girl!”
The crowd of family and friends is the loudest during the last and final reaction, deepening your happiness, mimicking that of which was felt when Dr. Young revealed the sexes to you at your last appointment.
Two boys and one girl is literally perfect. 
Your little family truly is truly going to be complete.
“And,” you cut through the cheers, one glance at your fiancé and daughter before you continue. “We have another surprise for ya’ll.”
“Don’t tell me there’s a fourth!”
Rolling your eyes at Jon, you cut right to it, “we’ve decided to share the names we’ve picked out.”
Gasps and excitement go around, Joe once again being the one to start off. “The firstborn boy will be named Iosefa Anoa’i.” 
Iosefa.
The Samoan variation of the name Joseph.
Gaze on Joe, it fills your heart with so much love to see and hear the pride in his voice and on his face. Having one of your sons named after him is the least you can do for this man. 
It’s what he deserves.
Clearing your throat, you provide the second name. “The second baby boy will be named Isaiah Anoa’i.” A strong, Biblical name. A name given in honor of your mom who has always loved said name. A moving gesture she clearly recognizes given the way she places both hands over her heart, mouthing ‘thank you.’
You mouth, 'I love you, too' back as both yourself and Joe redirect your focus to Callie for her big moment.
She giggles when Joe tickles her stomach before yelling, “and my baby sister will be named Moana Anoa’i!”
Deciding on names was such an intimate, thoughtful, moving process, and while they may not be as alike or even common as most triplet names, they mean something to you, Joe, and even Callie, who both yourself and your husband decided to let name her sister. 
Callie is your firstborn, special to both of you in ways that you can’t describe, so giving her that only felt right.
And as you re-enter the group of friends and family who have gathered here for this special occasion, you can’t help but imagine what that’s going to be like when it happens again. On a different day. For a different reason. A year or so away, when you stand before them and God and take the man who completes you as your better half.
A beautiful day indeed, even if it’s more for show and aesthetic anyway. 
Because unbeknownst to most of the guests, outside of Callie, your mom, and Joe’s mom, you have an appointment at the courthouse tomorrow morning at 10am sharp.
Because after tomorrow, not only will you and Joe Anoa’i share children.
You’ll share last names.
Because tomorrow is your wedding day. 
You’ll officially be Mrs. Y/N Anoa’i.
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dilemmaontwolegs · 1 year ago
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Not A Verstappen: A New World {6}
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x fem!driver!reader x Lando Norris Summary: Last race before summer break begins. Warnings: 18+ only, nsfw, team friction, bad language, fluff WC: 2k F1 Masterlist NAV: Sibling Rivalry One || Two || Three NAV: Gridlocked One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || Seven || Eight || Nine NAV: A New World One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || Seven
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Belgium Grand Prix Doctor Turner didn’t know where to look. She had started off looking at you but once Charles started to speak her attention was turned and then Lando chimed in too. Her poor neck was straining with flitting back and forth between the three of you sitting across from her desk.
“I think it is the stress,” Lando said as he squeezed your hand.
“I think it is the medication,” Charles countered, a familiar argument brewing. “Things started to change after she started taking it.”
Dr Turner hummed as she made her notes and prompted him for more as he fell silent. “Changes such as?”
You zoned out of the conversation. The whole appointment was a result of the family meeting they had called and the information was nothing new to you. You were moody, you were tired, you were hungry. Charles had been the one to suggest it was the hormones from the contraception. He had even gone so far as to unfold the very, very large sheet of side effect information hidden in the box. 
“-and her weight.”
“Thanks, Charles. Love you too,” you muttered.
“Not like that, chérie,” he said as he turned to face you, cupping your cheek gently. “You are beautiful and I love your body, but you are training a lot harder with Kristian to maintain your race weight and you didn’t have to do that before.”
That much was true. The team had even stopped putting sandbags in the car for testing since the car was no longer underweight. You had thought your fireproofs had shrunk in the wash when you pulled them on in Hungary last weekend and the sleeves had cut into your wrists. There’s skintight and then there’s skintight.
​​”Those were all possibilities we discussed at the time,” Dr Turner said with a nod. “They are quite common with hormonal contraceptives so you likely wouldn’t find any change with the alternative options like the injection or the rods.”
“See, told you this was pointless. I just have to deal with it.”
“Or you could stop taking them,” Lando suggested. 
“Given the choice…you want to go back to condoms?”
“As much as we enjoy the benefits, it’s not worth it if this is the cost,” Charles answered for the both of them. “Just stop taking the pills for a while and see how you feel.”
You sighed with defeat but you accepted the plan with a nod. “At least I’m stressed enough that there’ll still be no periods. Yay for me.”
Lando snorted a laugh at your sarcasm but Charles didn’t find the humour as he shook his head and thanked Dr Turner for fitting us into her busy schedule. It wasn’t as busy as yours since you needed to get to Côte d'Azur Airport to catch a ride with Max to Belgium, you and half the grid apparently.
“Well that was a waste of time, and now we need to go shopping for condoms,” you muttered as you left her office and got in your car. “Do you think Costco sells them in bulk boxes?”
“I am not buying cheap Kirkland branded condoms,” Lando said with a cringe. “Fuck that.”
“You also said you would never do dry July but here we are,” you pointed out.
“Except for that one night after Silverstone,” Charles added as he started the car.
“Doesn’t matter, I’m not risking anything less than Durex. I’d rather trust myself to pull out.”
You looked at Charles in the rearview mirror before you both broke out in a fit of laughter as you shook your heads at the idea. 
Lando was offended.
“Hey,” he called as he turned in his seat to look at you. “I could pull out if I wanted to.”
“You’re lucky you’re handsome, because you can’t lie to save your life.”
“We both know how it is when you hit that sweet spot, mon cher,” Charles said as he reached across the gearbox and rested his hand on Lando’s thigh. “It’s too good to resist staying buried in her.”
“I said I could if I wanted to, not that I would or want to.”
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By the time you arrived at the airport, and hustled your way through security, you found Max, Daniel and Pierre already seated on the plane and pointed to other empty seats. “Are you expecting the rest of the grid or what?”
“At the rate you're collecting them, maybe,” Max joked. 
You laughed and dropped into the seat opposite your brother, kicking your feet up on his armrest. “You can’t say shit like that in front of Pierre, he gets far too excited. He might even wet your carpet.”
Pierre looked up from his phone and you could tell from the smile on his face that he had been busy texting Kika before he realised what you had said and his lips pouted. “You make me sound like a puppy.”
“Nawww, I wish you had that level of obedience, Gasly.” Your feet were roughly shoved off the seat and you narrowed your eyes at the culprit as the plane began to taxi to the runway. 
“Safety first, zusje, haven’t you read the pamphlet?”
“Why would I do that?” you scoffed as you buckled the belt in. Charles was doing the same where he sat across from Pierre and Lando was next to Daniel. “If something happens at 36,000 feet, bracing isn’t going to save me. Now, are there any stroopwafels on board this thing or do I have to wait another two hours? I'm starving.”
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“The last two races have seen a big drop in performance for both you and Lance, and only a few points added to the tally, and now - failing to finish the sprint with that crash. Is this something the team is looking into?”
You wanted to ask if the Sky Sports reporter had a brain cell but took a steadying breath instead and nodded. “Mhmm.”
“So what is Aston Martin doing to get back up where you were competing earlier in the season and what are your hopes for the race tomorrow starting 9th on the grid?”
“We are doing what is always done: look at the data, continue the upgrades, and keep pushing. Same goes for the race, I’ll try my hardest to make up some places and avoid the gravel. I’m usually good at getting off the start line, the car is great for short acceleration so if I see a gap I’ll be going for it. Plus, you know how turn one goes - that might make my job easier if the boys up ahead get greedy.”
“Speaking of boys, this time last year you were heading into the summer break looking for love. What’s the plan this year?”
“I don’t know, maybe I’ll take Max’s advice and adopt a couple of cats this time.” You laughed as Lando and Charles turned to you from their spots in the media pen. “Is that a yes…no…maybe? Oh, that’s their ‘we will talk about this later’ face. I’m going to go now before I get into trouble.”
The smile you had been holding onto fell away as you stepped into the Aston Martin hospitality building and you grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge before you navigated your way to your room. You almost made it there with no interactions, until your fellow driver caught up and clipped your shoulder as he passed by to his room.
Still annoyed at the reporter, you dropped your hand from the doorknob and turned to him. “What’s your problem?”
“You almost had points and you threw them away. That’s what.”
“I spun out, Lance,” you sighed, already exhausted with where the conversation was heading. “It’s wet and it’s Spa, it's easy to have an accident. It’s not like I saw you up there earning any of them.”
“It’s not my seat that’s on the line though,” he stated. 
“Is that a threat?”
“No, it’s just the truth.” His lips curved into the pretentious smile you hadn’t noticed when you joined the team, but it had become irksome to see grow over time. “My seat is secure.”
“If that were true you wouldn’t be wasting your time hassling me over whatever issue you’ve made up in your head.” You enjoyed watching that smile fade. 
“I don’t have an issue with you.”
“Then you feel threatened by me,” you said with a casual shrug. “It’s basic biology, animals attack when they feel in danger.”
“You should do something about that big ego of yours.”
“It’s big like my dick,” you said as you turned the door handle and shoved it open, “so choke on it.”
“Bitch.”
You gasped theatrically as you paused in the doorway. “Lance Strulovitch, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”
“Did I offend you?” 
Your laugh started as a tickle in your throat before your lips peeled back and bared your teeth at him. “Sticks and stones, baby, I kind of like it.”
Realising he wasn't going to get the reaction he wanted from you, he shook his head and stepped away. “You’re all kinds of messed up.”
“Thanks for the assessment, Freud.” You slammed the door shut before he could give a response and screamed as you threw your bottle at the body that suddenly appeared. “Jesus, fuck.”
“Nope, just me,” Max chuckled as he rose from the chair that had been hidden by the door. “Nice to see you get along with your team mate too.”
“Oh that, that was just a friendly sparring match. Nothing to worry about.”
“I did warn you, zusje.”
“Yeah, yeah, you love to say I told you so,” you drawled as you grabbed your drink bottle from the floor and cracked it open. “Anyway, what are you doing, hiding in here acting like the godfather?”
“Our mothers have been conspiring again,” he said with a fond smile. “Family dinner tomorrow night after the race.”
“Won’t you have a winner’s after party planned?”
“I don’t think my liver could handle another one so soon.”
“Serves you right,” you snickered as he opened the door. “Wait, can Pascale, Adam and Cisca come too?”
“I said family dinner, didn’t I? They’re pretty much your in-laws.” He pointed to your table and you followed his finger to see a box overflowing with stroopwafels. “Is that enough or should I get some more for the flight home?”
You grinned as you grabbed one and tore through the packaging, talking with a mouthful. “I thought I was walking?”
“With those manners, you should be.” He started to close the door but changed his mind and stepped back in to pull you into a hug. “I’m glad you didn’t hit the barriers, zusje. Drive safe tomorrow.”
You nodded against his shoulder as you hugged him back.
It was only two days earlier that you ran the track with Pierre in memory of his friend, Anthione, and only five weeks before that another driver had lost his life on the track too. You hadn’t been thinking about that when you spun out, it wasn’t like it was anything close to what Lando did two years ago. 
But your brother would always worry about you.
“You too, Maxy.”
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Fifth was the best you could do in the end but for once you weren’t weighed down by the result.
You sat beside Max, sipping from a glass of lemonade that should have been a gin and tonic, and smiled at the story he animatedly recalled from the race. On your other side was Charles, his dimples deepening as Max praised him for the perfect overtake he had made on Lewis to clench third place. Beside him, Lando was grinning proudly and draped his arm over Charles’ shoulder, his fingertips teasing your collarbone.
Your parents lined the other side of the table and you scanned their faces while they were engrossed with the story, not as accustomed to Maxsplaining as you and the other drivers were. No one would have ever thought that the parents of a Red Bull, a McLaren, a Ferrari and an Aston Martin driver would all come together and support them all equally. But there they were. One big happy family.
Click here for the next part.
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avenging-fandoms · 1 year ago
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imagine chris being way more clingy than normal one day and you’ve got no idea why, he doesn’t leave your side all day but never tells you what’s wrong, but you finally coax it out of him that night and he says he’d had a bad dream where he lost you so he didn’t want to let you out of his sight all day:((
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Chris's spot next to you in bed was usually empty when you woke up. He’d be out at the gym, walking Dodger, sometimes cleaning the house. When your eyes peeled open there he was, back to you while his phone played at a low volume as he watched videos on Instagram.
You press your hand against his ribs, scooting forward and draping your arm over his stomach with your eyes still closed and you planted a soft kiss on his skin.
"Well what a nice surprise." You mumble into his skin, a soft nose laugh coming from Chris as he grabs your hand and pulls it to his chest. "Just wanted to be lazy today?"
"Yeah.." He sighs, your eyes peeking open and watch his back muscles move with every slow breath. You trace a heart on his spine, Chris finally turning to face you kissing you like he hadn’t see you in months. His hand held the back of your head and gripping your hair softly.
Chris pulls away and pecks your forehead. You check your phone, realizing you had no food in your fridge as your stomach gurgles and you groan. "Do you want to come get groceries with me? I know you hate shopping but-"
"No I'll come, you wanna shower together to save some time and water?" He asks and you smile, nodding. You both get out of bed and you stop him, hand on his bare stomach.
"Did you take Dodger out?"
"Yeah I did, earlier this morning" You nod. He probably woke up at his normal time and did everything for Dodger then came back to bed.
You and Chris shower together, Chris spending his time pampering you. You were getting worried. You surely didn't miss an anniversary, or his birthday, so you were so confused why he wanted to come shop and pamper you in the shower. Maybe he was just a good husband.
A little over an hour later, you two were off to Costco. You sat in the passenger seat while Chris drove, a hand on your thigh the whole way with your Dunkin breakfast, his treat. You didn't question this, he was always holding your thigh while driving.
Although at the grocery store, his hand was always on your back, arm, hand, or shoulder. This wasn't normally how he acted, he usually ventured off himself and grabbed things he wanted, or following you and complaining and asking how much longer. However today he was right next to you as you walk up and down the aisle - his least favorite thing ever - not a peep coming from him except to chime in on what or whatnot to get.
You two get the shopping done in two hours, and you tried to break Chris in the store by going to the miscellaneous sections and taking your time, but he let you. You two bring the groceries in and he lets Dodger out while standing at the sliding door and watching you put the groceries away.
“Chris, have I done something wrong?” You broke and he knits his eyebrows in confusion. “Did I forget an anniversary? Is it the anniversary of when we met? You know I can never remember if it’s the 12th or 13th.”
Chris lets out a soft chuckle, crossing his arms over his chest after letting Dodger back in. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong. No anniversary, and it’s the 13th.”
“Then what is going on, hon? You’ve been up my ass all day. Not that I care, but you’re never like that. You love to love me but you would not let me out of your sight or would hold onto me. What is going on?” You walk over to him and place your hands on his shoulders, darting your eyes back and forth between his sad ones. “Chris..?”
His arms wrap tightly around your waist, picking you up off the ground softly with just your toes barely on the ground. His hand reached up and held the back of your neck, taking in your smell and you rub his back. “I had this really bad dream last night. You were in a crash and I was with you. I sat next to you as I watched you.. oh God Y/N it was so bad.” He cried softly and you held him tighter.
“Chris you should’ve woke me, why didn’t I wake up when you did?” You pull away and hold his face, wiping a tear with your thumb.
“I wasn’t thrashing or anything, just a jolt awake. There was some light outside so I took Dodger outside and sat out there for a bit before coming back in here. Couldn’t go back to sleep so I watched you sleep for a bit then went on my phone.” He laughs to himself. “I sound like a stalker, I watched you sleep.”
“You watched me sleep because you had a very real feeling dream.” Your arms wrap around his neck. “You should have woken me up, honey. Especially if it’s a dream like that.” He nods and hugs you again, taking a deep breath. “Do you want to get some comfy pjs on and watch some Disney movies in bed while we order food?”
Chris pulls away and rubs his nose against yours, lips brushing over yours. “We just went shopping for 8 hours, we have food here.” You giggle, his nose pushing your head up more as your nails scratch the back of his head.
“I don’t feel like cooking, and it takes time for the food to get here.” You whisper and he hums, kissing you and swiftly picking you up and taking you upstairs.
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roosterforme · 2 years ago
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A Love You Don't Find Everyday Part 5 | Rooster x Reader
Summary: Spending time with your friends while Bradley spends some time with his is beneficial. And then you find the perfect way to correct the power imbalance.
Warnings: Fluff, swearing, spanking and smut
Length: 3000 words
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader
Check out my Masterlist!
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Bradley woke up to you draped across him on Sunday morning. He couldn't stop the grin that spread across his face. He checked the time before trying to extract himself from bed without waking you. Hangman, Bob and Coyote had invited him to play golf, and they had an early tee time.
"No," you moaned and wrapped your arms around him tighter. 
Bradley sighed but didn't fight you. "Just five more minutes, Sweetheart. I'm golfing today."
"You gave me a punishment last night," you whispered against his chest.
"Mm. You forced my hand, Sweetheart."
"You're being extra sweet now."
"Because I love you," he said, stroking his fingers softly down your back.
"Are you sure it's not because you made me squirt, Roo?"
Bradley's grin returned. "That certainly didn't hurt."
He loved how you pouted at him when he finally got out of bed and started to get dressed. You curled up in his spot and watched him. "What time will you be back? We need a bunch of stuff at Costco."
"I'll be back around lunchtime. Then I'll take you to Costco in the Bronco. Nothing will fit in your shitty car, Baby Girl."
"I love how much you hate it. I think that gives it extra life," you told him as he kissed you goodbye. 
Bradley just shook his head and went to retrieve his golf clubs out of the garage, hanging his calendar up again while he was there.
"Perfect," he muttered, standing back to look at it before heading to the Bronco with a bounce in his step. 
Bradley felt great today. He'd edged you until you squirted for him, and then he got a great night's sleep with you. He was in love. You still wanted to marry him. You'd started making plans. Bob could run his foot over again with the golf cart, and he would probably just smile and thank him. 
"Bradshaw," Jake drawled when Bradley arrived. "You look a damn sight better than you did last time I saw you." He slapped Bradley on the back and then lowered his voice, presumably so Coyote and Bob wouldn't hear him. "You and Angel kiss and make up?"
Bradley pressed his lips together so he wouldn't laugh. "Something like that," he said, nodding his head slowly. "We're okay. Made a few plans for the wedding, actually."
Jake smiled and picked up his bag. "I knew she'd come around."
Bradley adjusted his bag on his shoulder and said, "I know you probably said something to her. For some reason she likes and trusts you."
Jake nodded solemnly. "Could be because I am likeable and trustworthy. Could be because she knows I have her back when you're deployed."
Bradley nodded begrudgingly. But he was thankful you had people around who cared about you. "Well...thanks."
------------------------------
You yawned and stretched, finally getting yourself out of bed. You felt better now that you and Bradley had managed to clear everything up. A smug smile found its way to your lips; you would be serving confetti cake at your wedding. You couldn't wait to smash some of it into Bradley's mustache on the big day. 
And there it was. You were excited to marry him. He had been right all along. You just needed to talk to him about what you wanted. 
You closed your eyes and sank back against the pillow. Just your close friends and family. A simple yet elegant wedding dress that would look good with Carole's veil. Bradley with multicolored cake smeared across his face. That's all you really wanted.
Your phone buzzed on your nightstand, so you rolled across the bed to grab it. 
Cam Harvey: impromptu brunch?
Yeah, you could get out of bed for a stack of pancakes. You'd been working hard and not eating particularly well, so this seemed like a great idea. You texted Bradley to let him know you might not be home when he got back from golfing. Then you changed into your jeans and one of Bradley's shirts and went to meet Cam and Maria. 
"Oh, look, she thinks she's hot shit now, because she's going to Annapolis," Cam said as he pulled you into a hug at the restaurant. "Kind of wish I could get transferred to your lab."
"You'd miss me so hard if you did," Maria said as the three of you followed the host to your table. 
After several mimosas and at least a dozen pancakes, you pressed your lips together and said, "Guys, what if I suck at being a wife?" Your friends both turned to look directly at you as you played with your engagement ring and avoided eye contact. 
"What makes you ask that?" Maria set down her fork and tapped your hand until you looked at her. 
Your friends looked concerned enough that you tried to laugh it off. "Well, I made Bradley think I didn't want to marry him, so.... you know how I get with work. I love it, but sometimes I dive too deep. And I have a hard time reeling it back in."
Maria smiled at you. "You'll figure it out. You already got used to his deployments, and you nursed him back from injury. You'll get this sorted out too."
"The fact that you are being forced to reprioritize your life is hilarious to me," Cam told you. "If I were engaged to a man as hot as Bradley Bradshaw, I would never leave my house, let alone go to work. So I wouldn't have any of these problems."
"Aren't you dating a woman now?" Maria asked him as she finished her mimosa. 
"Well, yeah, but I'd break up with her for a sexy guy with a pornstache. Obviously," he told her. And you kind of appreciated that your friends didn't make a big deal about what you said. They seemed to think you would make this work. 
"Wait. Is engaged sex as good as dating sex?" Maria asked, suddenly looking at you like you were some sort of sex guru.
Your cheeks grew warm as you thought about the mess you had made last night. "It might actually be better."
------------------------------
Bradley arrived home later than he had expected, and when he walked into the living room, you were sitting on the floor listening to one of the playlists he had made for you and wearing his shirt. Your computer was open next to you, and you seemed to be multitasking. The photos you and he had collected from the storage unit in Virginia were spread out all over the floor, and Tramp was snoozing on the floor where a particularly nice ray of sunlight was warming him. 
"What are you doing, Sweetheart?" he asked after you had barely looked up at him. 
"I'm making your wedding present and emailing my boss. How was golf? Jake texted me and told me you were terrible."
Bradley smiled as he bent to kiss your forehead and watched you shift some of his parents' wedding photos around next to your leg. "Listen, I know I suck at golf. I don't need Hangman to remind anyone about that. How was brunch? And what's my wedding present?"
"Fun, and none of your business yet." You looked up at him and smirked. "Your lunch is on a plate in the fridge."
Bradley toed off his golf shoes and went to wash his hands in the kitchen. As much as he appreciated that you were putting together some sort of wedding gift for him, he wanted to have you touching him. "Will you come in and sit with me?" 
"Coming."
So Bradley ate his lunch with you curled up on his lap at the table. "You tired, Baby Girl?" he asked. "Still worn out from last night?"
You just kissed his scars and whispered, "I'll get my revenge, Bradley. This power imbalance will not last."
He eyed you closely as he finished eating. "What did you have in mind?"
"You'll see."
Bradley drove you to Costco while you wrote out your list. "Paper towels, laundry detergent, lunch snacks, seafood, thick cut steaks...."
"What's the seafood for?" Bradley asked, parking the Bronco near the front doors, but you didn't answer. He followed you into the store, wrapping his arm around your waist. 
He kissed your cheek as you walked past the electronics and stopped in the bakery area to get some muffins. Then you turned toward the refrigerated foods.
"Shrimp or lobster tails?" you asked, holding up one package of each. 
"What's this for, Baby Girl?" he asked again. He inched a little closer to you, but you just shook both items at him until he pointed to the shrimp.
You set the package in the cart and looked up at him. "I'm calling out sick tomorrow, and I think you should too."
"Why?" he whispered. You wrapped your arms around him and squeezed him tight. 
"Because it's your dad's birthday, and I want to make a nice dinner. Plus I think we really need another day off together."
Bradley's lips were on yours instantly. "You remembered?" he managed to ask between kisses. He pushed you back against the refrigerator case, threading his fingers through your hair. 
"Of course I did." You pulled him against you by his belt loops. 
"I love you," he whispered as he traced his thumbs along your cheek. He wanted to marry you as soon as possible, but he didn't want to bring it up now and press his luck. He'd finally just got you to share some wedding planning with him. 
"You love me?" you asked when he released your lips.
"Is that even a question, Baby Girl? I go to pieces when I'm not the center of your universe."
You bit your lip and smiled at him. "Come on. We have a lot of things to buy."
Bradley pushed the cart and followed you to the laundry detergent. You pointed to a shelf over your head, and with the most devilish glint in your eyes, you said, "Can you reach that one down, Daddy? It's too high for me."
Your words went right to his cock and he was throbbing for you. You bit your lip and grinned as he pressed himself against you, grabbing the detergent jug from above your head and placing it in the cart.
"Mmm, thanks Daddy," you said, seemingly paying no mind to everyone else shopping around you.
He followed you to the next aisle just in time to hear you announce, "We need lots of paper towels for when you get messy at home, Daddy." This time, the guy next to you turned and looked at Bradley with some curiosity. He could feel himself blushing as you bent yourself in half to pick up an enormous package and set it in the cart. 
"This way, Daddy," you told him as you walked backwards to the end of the aisle with your finger crooked enticingly for him to follow. Now the guy next to the paper towels was smirking at Bradley as he walked past, and Bradley just nodded in his direction. 
Bradley pushed the cart behind you, listening to your lewd commentary and appreciating the way you ass looked. 
You turned to look at him over your shoulder. "Do you want a box of 96 granola bars, Daddy?" You picked up the box and handed it to him, but before you could get away, he grabbed you by your waist and pulled you against him. 
A soft giggle escaped your lips as he pressed his mouth just below your ear and whispered, "I know what you're doing here, Sweetheart. You're trying to even out the power balance. But if you keep calling me Daddy in public like this, I'll spank you later for being bad."
Your moan was loud enough that someone turned and looked your way, but Bradley couldn't care less. You pulled yourself out of his grasp and made a dash across the aisle. 
"Do we need these, Daddy?" you asked, holding up an enormous jar of pickles. 
"Why don't you check your list," he suggested. You pretended to scrutinize the contents of the jar before setting it back on the shelf. 
"I think I like the pickle you give me at home better," you announced. "It's bigger." The elderly woman to your left was looking at Bradley, completely appalled. But Bradley just smiled at you, and you smiled back; you wanted him to spank you.
"We're almost done," you told him, running your fingers along his arm as you walked past him. "Just need some batteries for my toys. When Daddy's deployed, I have to play by myself."
This time Bradley was the one groaning as he followed you to the batteries and then the register. You let the cashier scan your membership card before she rang everything up. You eyed Bradley up and down where he leaned on the cart handle. He could not wait to get you back home and get your jeans off. 
"Your total is three hundred and seven dollars," the cashier told you with a smile. 
You bit your lip and jerked your thumb in Bradley's direction. "You'll have to ask my Daddy. I don't have any money."
Bradley literally cradled his face in his palm as he handed the woman his credit card, unable to make eye contact with her. The smug smile on your face on the way to the Bronco had him so needy for you, he popped open the back tailgate and picked you up. 
"I concede. You win, Baby Girl," he told you as he set you down.
"Really?" you asked, pulling him closer by his shirt. "What do I win?" 
Bradley nudged your legs apart and came to stand right up against you. "Let's see... I'll use my oversized pickle to make a mess, requiring a lot of paper towels."
You were cracking up as he rubbed his mustache along the side of your neck. "Did Daddy have fun at the store?"
He moaned and kissed your ear. "You make everything fun. Do you want me to spank you when we get home, Sweetheart?"
"Yes," you whispered. Bradley ghosted his lips softly across yours and caressed your legs through your jeans.
"Mmm," he hummed in agreement. "I'd say you earned it."
Bradley packed everything into the back of the Bronco, kissing you each time before he turned back to the cart for more. Next he carried you to the passenger door, set you on the seat and buckled you in. Then he returned the cart and climbed in to take you, his wife-to-be, to bed.
---------------------------
Bradley's dick was hard, poking you right in the belly as you cried out, tears in your eyes. 
It was almost embarrassing how good it felt to have Bradley spank you. You were currently bent over his knees as he sat on the edge of your bed, your jeans and underwear pulled down around your thighs. Every time his big palm connected with you, a moan escaped your lips. Your teeth were chattering, and your eyes were drifting closed. 
"Tell Daddy you want more," Bradley growled.
"I want more. Please, Daddy?" you managed, gasping as you tried to take a deep breath. He ran his fingertips along your stinging cheeks, teasing you before hitting you hard, making you clench around nothing. 
You tried to rub your clit against his leg, but he used both hands to keep your hips still, clicking his tongue and scolding you.
"Keep still for Daddy."
You were ready to cum, but he wouldn't let you. "Please, please, please." Your voice sounded pitiful as you begged him.
One more hard slap, and then Bradley's hand was soothing you, softly rubbing your hot, angry skin. 
"Did you learn your lesson? No more calling me Daddy in front of sweet elderly shoppers and other grown men who would love to have a chance at being your Daddy."
You looked back at him over your shoulder and shook your head slightly. "I hate to break it to you, but I enjoyed every second of this."
"So did I," he whispered, running his hand over your butt until he was teasing your pussy. You squirmed in his lap again as he dipped his fingers inside you. "I enjoyed our time at Costco, and I enjoyed spanking you. And now I'm going to enjoy fucking you."
Bradley pulled you off of his body and pushed you down until you were bent over the bed with your cheek pressed against the duvet. He stood behind you and you could hear him unzipping his jeans. But then you felt his mouth on you. 
"Oh!" you gasped as his prickly mustache and soft lips came into contact with your raw, burning skin. Gently, he spread your legs apart and lapped at your wetness. You knew you were soaked as his tongue slid slowly inside you. 
Bradley's rough fingertips on your skin had you gasping for air and grabbing at the bedding. "I can see my handprints on your perfect ass, Sweetheart," Bradley rasped, peppering kisses there as he rammed his fingers inside you. 
"Feels good," you whined, so turned on you could come on his hand. You whimpered for his soft words and sweet kisses. "You always make me feel good."
And with that, he was on his feet, pushing his length into you and bending so his front was pressing you down against the bed.
"I love you, Baby Girl. Even when you're poorly behaved." And with those words he was fucking you hard, holding your hands in his and stretching you out on the bed. 
When the tears in your eyes tracked down one cheek as Bradley's hips slammed against your sore, aching rear end, you told him, "I'm not going to be able to sit correctly for the next day."
He reached around to gently pinch your clit, and promised, "If you're not good, I'll make it two days."
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Costco and Daddy and spanking, oh my...
PART 6
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mylordshesacactus · 1 year ago
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You got married?! Congrats!!!!!!!
Yeah!
I haven't been posting about me and @eighthdoctor's wedding much because, frankly, the arrangements in the leadup have been so stressful that the idea of using my FREE TIME to CONTINUE THINKING ABOUT WEDDING STUFF was absolutely appalling.
But it was wonderful, our rabbi did an amazing job with a really intimate personalized ceremony. All the parents cried multiple times. I killed my sister dead on the spot by asking her to walk me down the aisle with our dad in recognition of how the three of us were a unit for so many years. Everyone was deeply appreciative of the fact that our catering choices were "dietary-restriction-friendly taco buffet" and "Costco sheet cake". @alexkablob roasted us-but-mostly-me just the right amount in her maid of honor speech.
There was a mule.
You know. Wedding things.
It was really lovely.
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zesty-goblin-trash · 4 months ago
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Ayeoo, finally working on my doll again. Small victory for me because my mental state has been chaotic to say the least.
I don't remember what, if anything, I've shared on my current goblin-self doll? Actually I can save this as a draft easily, lemme go check.
Oh g's like nothing. Okay. Welp, grab a snack cause I'm about to overexplain everything up to this point!
Right, so I made a custom Monster High doll a while back and for my first ever attempt at it, she turned put pretty good. Especially since she was meant to just be a practice piece for stuff as I was working on another doll along side it to be my first. Never finished that doll, but I think I have to high of expectations for it compared to my skill level right now.
Jump forward to G3 Monster High being released, and I decided to remake my test-doll-turned-goblin-self with a G3 Draculaura body because it much more accurately represents my body style. I got all the way to having the body painted, my own tattoos added, and various scars and marks detailed. And honestly, I was pretty happy with the result! Here's some photos of that;
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Love the colors, and I was happy enough with what I'd done to keep moving, except for the face. It was driving me crazy that I could still see the line where I added the Apoxie Sculpt to the jaw so clearly, despite it being sanded as smooth as I could get it. So I wiped her head and was going to try again. Not sure what my plan was, to be honest, but she got shoved to the corner of the desk for a good while.
I ended up finding another G3 core Draculaura at Value Village in one of their hanging bagged toys, and for $8 bucks with all her accessories I couldn't pass it up. At the time I didn't plan on it, but ended up deciding to start over completely on v2 of my goblin-self using this doll. The core dolls have an articulated chest, unlike the budget dolls (Day Out which I was using, the 2 that came with the car from Costco, ect.), and there were a couple of things I think I could have done better on the body when it came to the joints.
Jumping forward I did all the prep work on the new doll, sanding everything to remove mold lines and smooth it all nice, removed the face up and hair, yadah yadah yadah. I then attempted to dye the new body with some Rit dye and whatever brand it is that's sold at Dollar Tree, knowing it wasn't going to take correctly because the Rit wasn't for synthetics. I was really only hoping to dye the joints darker, because if you've ever seen or customized your own dolls, body repaints rarely stay painted at the joints. It's kinda inevitable if your doll moves at all. I just wanted to reduce the jarring difference between OG light pink skin and the new green skin.
It sort of worked, the teal Rit did nothing (as I expected), but the red-orange Dollar Tree stuff dyed her a bit. I didn't do her head at all since this was just meant to darken the parts that'd be rubbing together.
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If all the different plastics on the body would take dye the same way this would have been a cute color honestly 😂
Skintone differences aside, it did darken down the plastic used for the wrist and elbow joints, which was my main goal. But I had another idea I wanted to try as you may have noticed in the image background. Alcohol inks! I wouldn't recommend. At least not directly from the bottle dripped into the joint.
The high concentration of alcohol in the inks very quickly made the vinyl of the lower arms get gummy. It's the same reason you don't want to use acetone on the bodies of dolls basically, it just destroys the plastics a bit too much. The pigment did start to take to the plastic, but with how quickly I had to blot it back off to stop the plastic from melting it just didn't have enough time to stay. However it did make me think of another way to essentially stain the joints. I think the same could possibly be done with a brush and alcohol inks directly maybe? But my hubs has Prismacolor Alcohol based markers so I switched gears to bring those.
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And yea! A very good option! At this point I'd already washed and resanded the body to remove the outer layers of the dye from the hard plastic parts so in that image she's pretty light again. It takes extremely well to the hard plastic parts and because the concentration of alcohol is much lower it doesn't make the vinyl arms feel sticky like the inks did. I have a video of the joints moving I'm going to upload on its own after. Cause I really think this might be a viable way to help reduce the obviousness of joints in skintone changes, and I don't want it buried in my nonsense 😂
I ended up coloring the whole body with the marker, not just the joints. The hard plastic took the pigment so well that if the paint does end up scraping off anywhere it was worth it to have the marker color underneath everything. I know that spots like the knees and the butt were getting scrape marks on the first repaint just from posing, so hopefully this helps those spots look good well after I'm finished the doll!
At this point I've now gotten the body all prepped and ready to paint with the new skintone. Sanded, dyed, MSC'd, and waiting! I started working on the new head while I was figuring out the dye situation.
I wasn't planning on making this a multiple post thing (other than the video) but I think I'ma split it up here! I'm still going to type out the next post now but I'll schedule it for later 😂 Because unlike Insta, I can do that and not have to remember to come back and actually make the post later.
And thanks if you've read this far ☺️ I apreaciate the interest! See you in the next one!
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docholligay · 10 months ago
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Going through someone's blog and seeing two posts, like...4 days apart ? Of:
Post a: neurotypical people don't understand how much of a struggle it is to listen to them talk about stuff I don't care about :( I wish it was socially acceptable to tell them I'm not interested, ever.
Post b: honestly hurts so much when you can tell someone doesn't care about your special interest. :(
I just want to cup your face and go, "please reread those and let's talk about social kindness"
I did block them, I think I am reaching a friggin... point break over here. I have been weird all my life, I was an EXTREMELY lonely child, and if someone wanted to tell me about their pet lizard I would have died happy, and if they had listened to me talk about the time Kate Harony burned down a barn to get doc out of prison, my tiny child heart would have burst. Like, that's give and take.
I've been trying to express this deep deep SCRATCH of irritation for weeks now, and I think a closer step to it, is... neurotypical, if we believe anyone is, people, also have feelings and needs and preferences. They ALSO get to decide what they can and can't live with.
I have a pretty classic and overwhelming strain of ADHD. Though, I feel less and less like saying the word for it matters, and get closer and closer to identifying as Fucking Weird. My mother is broadly neurotypical. She gets to have her feelings be hurt if I don't want to hear about her and her boyfriend's day at Costco. That's what she did with her day. She wants to tell me. I owe her that if I want to talk about my run, for example. I listen to jetty talk about coding even though I legitimately don't understand. I try and follow along!
I get tired of the idea that you don't ever have to put effort into relationships, and if you do, they aren't good relationships. And this attendant idea that being nice is masking behavior when it's you, but it's just kindness when it's other people doing it.
If it is true that you don't owe anyone anything, then the reverse is also true. No one owes you anything. This is not how I want to live.
There are things I do that are basically harmless: I have a lot of trouble sitting still, I'm twitchy and startle easily, and a million other small things that as it turns out I'm actually not going to mention because I don't like attention being drawn to them and i hate it when people notice, and I know they do.
None of those things really affect other people.
There are also things I do that are anywhere from annoying to harmful: I forget things, I interrupt people,* I sometimes zone out and lose the thread of whatever was going on.
If I love people, and I want them to love me, I have to treat them with that love as much as is possible. If I forget something, and make someone feel rejected, that is true whether or not I can pin a diagnosis to their lives. I hate to say it, but, "treat people as you would like to be treated" is often a very good guideline. Do you want someone to listen to you talk about the video game you really love? Then you should listen to them talk about Crossfit. Or, I guess the secret third option is, maybe you don't want to be friends, but that, too, is a choice.
I've been working with my three year old on conversation, and we've come up with things you can ask people if you'd like to get to know them better. Her current favorites are "What's your favorite animal?" and "what's your favorite color of crayon?" I think these are both great topics for a three year old. I want to teach her that if she wants people to talk to her and be engaged with her, she will have to give them the same.
This is true of everyone. Everyone has feelings. Everyone has interests and thoughts and preferences. I cannot emphasize enough how important I think it is to remember that life is a chorus, and none of us are the soloist. We are here for each other. Other people are not your backing vocals.
*this is also a cultural issue, though. I don't actually experience problems with this in some circles.
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cinnamontoastcrunch-15 · 2 years ago
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I love your Hippie Remus x Scientist Sirius stories so much! I'm just so curious how they met. I feel like it either has to be the most random place ever - like a Costco or they met through mutual friends at a party. We all know how good they are for each other, but how did they meet, and who asked who on a date?!
HELLO this ask was sent ages ago but I got so genuinely fixated on the idea and wanted to make it perfect because holy fuck yes
Masterpost pinned!
Remus had a plan for Dorcas and their girlfriend Marlene’s Halloween party. Namely, stick with Lily.
It lasted a good 5 minutes, until Lily spotted people she knew and somehow managed to disappear, because of course she did.
Remus wasn’t bad at talking to new people, pretty social on a good day; he was just high and bored, honestly, mostly just wanting to stand in the corner and observe. For the most part, everyone was pretty much the same, drinking and talking, a fair few people dancing. Remus stood and watched as people drifted over to the drinks table, almost everyone winding up with a drink in their hand.
Almost.
All apart from one guy who seemed wrapped up in his own world. He had his phone in his hand, and seemed to get progressively more irritated as he typed, until he finally tapped it aggressively and held it to his ear. Remus almost felt compelled to look around everyone, watching as the guy argued into the phone, running a stressed hand through his long black hair as he spoke, before crossing the room.
He was quite clearly headed directly for the corner Remus was stood in, probably looking for somewhere discreet to ‘talk’, and something in Remus knew they should move out of the way, but they didn’t want to. Whether it was him being much too nosy or not, he was pretty sure he was staying, as the guy almost walked directly into Remus, finally coming in earshot of them.
“Of all days to ‘work up the courage’ to tell me, fucking halloween? Never, in my entire bloody career, have I so desperately wanted to murder somebody! Christ!” He paused, eyes sliding shut as he took a deep, seething breath. He seemed ready to say something slightly quieter, when his face shifted. Oh, the other line had really pissed him off. “No, it’s not nothing! It’s just half of my motherfucking findings! Right, you have to go into the lab. Now. Oh, I’m sorry, is that inconvenient for you? Here’s the thing, I don’t give one! I don’t care that it’s Halloween for you too! You’re the one who fucked everything up! If it’s not either fixed or perfectly recreated by Monday, you bet your arse you’re not welcome back in my bloody lab. Now I’m going to try and salvage the scraps of tonight, so get working!” He pulled the phone from his ear and hung up quickly, before leaning with his back against the wall and scrubbing his hands over his face with a sigh. Remus knew they shouldn’t speak, it would seem really weird, he shouldn’t-
“That didn’t sound good.”
Fuck.
He watched as the guy jumped a mile, finally noticing Remus. The moment Remus got to look at him, really look at him, Remus felt something in him shift.
He was drop dead gorgeous.
Now, Remus had gotten past the self-loathing part of their life, actually found himself liking his own face when he looked in the mirror, but this guy? Everything paled in comparison to him. If his black hair tumbling down to his shoulders and framing his face wasn’t enough, he had strong, warm silver eyes, an insanely defined jaw and full lips.
Lips that Remus really needed to stop staring at.
He had really come to the conclusion that he wasn’t one for instant attraction, and this guy had just swanned in and proved him wrong. It was like the universe was laughing in their face. They weren’t delusional, it had been a good while since he had found someone that attractive. Still, he was reasonably good at staying composed. It wasn’t like anybody could tell they were high, so clearly they were a pretty good actor.
“Yeah, no, it wasn’t good at all.” The guy answered, offering Remus a small smile. “I just found out one of my newest hires accidentally grabbed a sample I’ve been working on for ages, thinking it was theirs, and now I’ve lost months of work.” He finished with a groan, turning away and letting his head hit the wall with a dull thud.
“Just blame Mercury.” Remus answered simply. When the guy looked at him blankly, Remus elaborated. “Mercury’s in retrograde?”
“I… have no clue what that means.” He answered, and Remus never thought he’d be endeared by someone not knowing astrology. They smiled, wanting more and more to know everything about him.
“Mercury’s backward motion really fucks with life.”
“Right, right.” Remus glanced at him, finally taking in his outfit. He was wearing black leather trousers and a tight black shirt. Remus frowned, confused.
“What are you supposed to be dressed as?” He asked. The guy turned to him.
“A dog?” He tried. “I had ears, but Marlene stole them.”
“Ah, I had a feeling you were Marlene’s friend. I went to school with Dorcas, so I figured I’d have met you before if you were Dorcas’.” Remus observed calmly, the guy watching them carefully.
“What’s your name?” He asked, and Remus almost thanked every god on the spot for how straight to the point the dog man was.
“Remus. Remus Lupin. Yours?”
“Sirius Black.”
“Well, Sirius Black, I want to see your costume with the ears.” He answered.
“Yeah, yeah sure!” Sirius answered brightly. “Marlene’s gone awol, so I can send you a picture? What’s your number?”
Oh.
Smooth.
He was a smooth motherfucker, and Remus was pretty sure Sirius was going to be sticking around.
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moonnue · 1 year ago
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Cheeky Little Pup
Astarion x Tav / Astarion x Reader (2nd Person POV)
Rated M! Contains use of a certain dog collar, a hint of electrostimulation, and begging (but as a "joke")
Word Count: ~2k
Summary:
Why the Hells did you dig up that grave? For fun? Because all you did was disturb the resting place of a very nice dog named Myrna. And then you took the poor creature's collar. And THEN you SULLIED it, using it to get your sick kicks with your vampire fwb! Are you happy? Are you proud of yourself? 'Cuz I am.
Notes:
yes i mention pavlov's dog this is FANTASY pavlov and his FANTASY dog. just like how this is FANTASY costco, where all your dreams come true (got a deal for you! it's astarion in a dog collar woof)
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You don't know what possessed you to dig up that grave. Grave digging wasn't a hobby of yours, much less was it even a guilty pleasure that poked at the corner of your mind every now and then. So why you should think it, and give in to that feeling, is beyond you. Perhaps it was just the mystery of it. The great Arcane Tower looming over you, coupled with the unassuming nature of the grave that was so lovingly marked. There must be treasures to be found here, right?
Unfortunately, all you dug up was the skeletal remains of a very large dog and an equally large dog collar that now hung loosely from its bony neck. You took the collar to examine it, finding runes inscribed into the leather. It also held a tag, the name 'Myrna' carved delicately into it. While at first you were charmed by the thing, smiling at the love this beast must have had in its lifetime, it did not take long for a devilish idea to pop into your head. With a snicker, you bounded over to the vampire in your party.
"Try it on!" You cheer as you hold the collar aloft to Astarion.
"I'm not some pet." He spits, but that doesn't deter your enthusiasm.
"Of course you're not!" You assure him as you jingle it again. "But look how lovely it is. I think you'd look so dashing!"
He narrows his eyes at you, and behind the annoyance is the tell-tale sign of the man giving in. Traveling this long with him has given you an advantage. You know just how to butter him up; you even couple your words with a few blinks of your big, round eyes. When he still doesn't say anything, you press further, "Just for a little while? Please, Astarion?"
It's the begging that gets to him, finally relenting with a click of his tongue. "Fine, give it here." You squeal with delight, practically skipping behind him to fasten the thing about this throat. You do it just tight enough to be a proper accessory.
"I was right!" You say as you come around to face him again. "You are dashing!" The actual word that comes to mind is 'cute,' but you don't think that's the proper term to use if you wish to make him buckle. He seems happy enough by this choice of word, posing ever so slightly as a hand bobs his short curls.
"I'm always dashing, darling."
Astarion keeps his word, wearing it as your party explores the tower. Along the way, you cannot help but steal glances at him. It's something he notices (and something you wanted him to notice) because he grins and flashes his collared neck at you from time to time.
Eventually, you find yourselves on a floor that looks particularly lived in. Or, at least, once was, considering the deterioration of the building. There is a bed, moth-chewed, and next to it, a crumbling bookcase. In the corner is a rickety table, covered in yellowed papers and long dried-out pens. And by the window, within arms reach of the old chair, is a rather plain-looking button.
It has obviously not been pressed in a very long time. It is dusty, rusted around the edges where it meets the wall. You look it over curiously, and once more are possessed by something that makes you act instead of think. Using but one little finger, the button depresses.
"Ah!" Comes a shocked moan from behind you. You're turning your head, shocked yourself, to look at Astarion as he says, "I don't know what you did, but it made my neck piece vibrate."
There's a moment of silence that stretches between the members of your party as you look at each other. He notices the button then, and with wide eyes, meets your gaze again. You motion to it with a nod, glancing quickly between him, the button, then back to him as you wiggle the criminalistic finger. Astarion catches your drift with a smirk.
"Go on." He says.
Watching him eagerly now, you press the button once more. Once more, he moans-- a bit over the top this time, but that wrinkle in his furrowed brow is one you recognize as sign enough that he's truly enjoying himself. A wicked smile splits your cheeks as you move to press it again.
"Can you two not do this?" interrupts Shadowheart, who is an unfortunate and unwilling participant in your game. "We don't have the time for you to just... flirt."
"Yeah." Karlach agrees. Her hand rubs awkwardly at the back of her neck. "You two are adorable, don't get me wrong. But this? It's a bit much."
Your smile does not falter as you speak to your other companions. Your tone is light, all in good fun. "You guys don't have to be here for this. There are plenty of other floors for you to explore."
"May I reiterate: we do not have time." Shadowheart urges. Her hands are placed squarely on her hips while she chastises you. "We have better things to do."
"I cannot think of anything better to do than this." Astarion disagrees. When he looks at you, there's a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. One that convinces you to give the button another press.
He moans again, louder this time, the sound much more depraved. He makes a big show of it as he stretches his arms out to the ceiling. The performance makes both Shadowheart and Karlach grimace, which only makes you laugh.
"Like I said. Plenty of other floors." "Five minutes." Shadowheart hisses as she shows you her palm. "Five. No more. That's all you're getting, and you're done." With that, she turns on her heel and trudges towards the staircase.
Karlach only says, "Have fun, you two!" before she follows after the girl. Once the two are out of sight, you beckon Astarion over, who quickly obliges.
"What a curious device." He muses aloud, studying it. The two of you are sitting together on the floor before it. Astarion asks, "Whatever is it for?"
"I think it's a food dispenser." You point to the evidence-- a nearby dog bowl with dried up bits of chow placed beneath a pipe. This makes Astarion's eyebrows shoot up.
"And it vibrates because...?"
"Classic Pavlov's dog. Dog gets shocked, dog gets hungry. Dog eats!"
"Hm..." he seems to be considering your explanation seriously. "I don't think I'm getting it. Why don't you press that button again, see if it can't get my brain juices flowing?"
"Yeah, sure, if you think it will help." You say just as nonchalantly, in spite of your twitching lips. When you press the button yet again, his reaction this time is much more subdued. There is but a hint of a rumble in his throat as you watch his lashes flutter.
"Oh, love. You simply must try this." He's already reaching up to undo the clasp. You laugh heartily, wiggling with excitement.
"Yes! Please, Master!" In a playful high-pitched voice, posing silly like a dog, you're only joking. You even add a little bark for good measure, laughing just after. But when he doesn't react right away, your skin prickles with uncertainty. You blink at him, trying to gauge his reaction through his blank expression. "Sorry, too much?" You chuckle, feeling slightly embarrassed that you got ahead of yourself.
It's still a moment before he responds, staring at the ground as though deep in thought. He finally responds in a shuddering breath, "Actually? Strange as it is, that's actually doing something for me."
You roar with laughter, leaning back on your heels, clapping your hands. "Why am I not surprised!" You bellow, amusement echoing off the cracking walls around you. Once you're calm again, you say, "Put that collar on me and we can see how far this goes."
He does just that, tightening the leather about your throat, perhaps slightly tighter than you had set for him. You look up at him with one raised eyebrow, and he simply responds with a smirk. "There." He retracts his hands, leaning with a thumb to the button. "And now..."
The thing about your neck vibrates. It’s the barest touch of an electric shock stinging at your nerves. It's more the surprise of it that gets you, makes you flinch and squeak out a little, "Ah!" Your hands reach instinctively for your throat, fingers gently grazing the leather and its carvings. You shiver ever so slightly.
"And?" says Astarion after a pause, letting you catch your wits. "Thoughts?"
"Oh, it's delightful." You breathe, more joking than serious. You bat your lashes at him just as you had earlier and plead, "Another, master?"
He laughs as he leans an elbow on the window sill. He regards you lazily, looking you up and down. "That's a dangerous trick you've picked up there. I'm a little frightened."
"Aw, come on!" You laugh too, and strike some ridiculous pose. "I'm just a sweet little thing! Wouldn't hurt a fly!"
"Is that so?" He sets a cheek to his fist as he stares you down. "If that's the case, give me another. Beg like the cheeky little pup you are."
He's only joking-- or, at least, you think he's joking, considering the fun you two are having. But the words, coupled with the natural husk of his tone, send a buzz through you that is definitely not from the collar. It snakes through your system, striking like lightning between your hips. The physical reaction you show is subdued, but it's enough. He grins widely once he realizes.
"Oh! So it's like that, then!" He chirps, positively delighted by the discovery.
"Wait!" You show your palms in mercy. Your cheeks are burning. "Sorry, I didn't think--! I mean, I didn't mean to--!"
"It's quite alright, sweetheart." He assures you. "We can't always help what turns us on." Astarion gives his shoulders a little shake, settling into his seat by the window. "Speaking of, I'd love to hear you beg again."
Well, now you're embarrassed. Before it was all fun and games, but it got a little too real a little too fast. He's got you squirming.
"Come now," he whines, but there's a bit of playfulness returning to his voice that makes you perk up. "Just one more? For me?" It's his turn to bat his lashes at you, and the sight makes you giggle. "Make it a good one. Make it count."
He knows just how to butter you up, making you smile and only slightly forget the heat pooling between your thighs. You know giving in to his demand is only going to make it worse, but you can't resist playing with him. Oh well, you think. You're here for a good time, not a long time!
You curl your fingers, wrists going limp and becoming feigned paws. Already he's laughing as you bring them to your chin. You're happy to further break the tension, but most of all, it pleases you to make him smile. To hear him laugh. All of it, in the end, is worth it just for that alone.
"Please, master? Make me feel good again."
You swear you can see just the faintest dusting of pink on his pale cheeks. You chew at your lip to suppress a chuckle. Still, that look he's giving you isn't one of shame. He's loving the little show you're putting on for him.
"Very good." He praises, and then presses the button.
The vibration is nothing but a tickle, yet the sensation that jolts down your spine is enough to give you a full-body shiver. It makes the both of you laugh.
"Alright, enough fun." You say, working to remove the collar from your neck.
"Boo." Is all he says, but stands up in agreement.
You place the collar down upon the old desk, giving it a light tap as you leave it there. Astarion and you head towards the stairs, and as you descend, you call out to tease your compatriots waiting somewhere down below: "You guys making out?!"
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frostyreturns · 4 months ago
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Frosty Reviews Idiocracy
This is one of those movies that people kept telling me I needed to watch because it seemed like a movie I’d like. Now that I have seen it I have no idea how this movie escaped me before now. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I even knew it existed and I just never saw it available anywhere. It must have been pretty low budget and didn’t have the marketing power behind it but even still it seems to have a cult following. I like most everything Mike Judge does so it should have been a no brainer.
It’s a dumb comedy but if a dumb comedy was a fairly accurate speculative dystopia. The idea is people are just going to keep getting dumber and dumber until one day a know nothing dumbass from our time would be considered the smartest man in the world. Part of the reason for the speculation is the idea that stupid people reproduce a lot while smart people reproduce very little. I have a bit of an issue with this reasoning…I think not reproducing is more of a midwit thing than a smart people thing. People smart enough to use protection when they are not ready…but not smart enough to figure out the benefits of a larger family and to be able to create the wealth to provide for it. The dumbing down of the world thanks to the fact that dumb people breed more is just part of the picture and the movie never really tackled the fact that we’re being dumbed down on purpose with drugs, porn, shitty education, lies, constant mindless media distractions, fluoridated water etc.
I bet if the movie was made or remade today social media especially stuff like tik tok would be prominantly featured, it’s kind of a real shame it’s not there because it would have been so perfect. I can so easily picture scenes where there’s some serious problem they need to address and the characters are just in the background doing tik tok dances instead.
I thought the movie was pretty funny but the funniest thing to me was the backstory behind the footwear. The movie was obviously super low budget which is a shame because otherwise I think this could have been a much better and more widely known and loved movie. At times the shitty backgrounds took me out of it a little. It was so low budget Mike Judge was dealing with some wardrobe stuff himself and when he was looking for footwear he asked for ugly shoes that they might wear in a future where everyone is retarded. He specifically asked that they be sure not to use anything that might become popular…the shoes they used for the movie were crocs and the wardrobe woman assured him they were so ugly there was no way they would ever become popular.
At times the joke felt like it was stretched a little thin, the premise was funny and many of the jokes were funny but there was times it felt like…maybe a whole movie wasn’t needed for this joke. The specifics of the plot were kind of inconsequential and I never felt really invested in any of the characters enough to care what happened to anyone. Particularly Dax Sheppard…I can’t stand the fucking guy but I do have to say he was cast perfectly for the role I totally believed him as a brain dead dipshit.
Most of the jokes were running gags one of my favourites was the way that the Fuddruckers restaurant slowly changed its name to buttfuckers. The whole movie isn’t just dumbasses laughing at people getting hit in the balls 24/7 there’s a subtle genius to the humour. The way the fat uninterested Costco employee greets them all by saying “welcome to costco I love you” says so much about the future he’s painting a picture of. A dehumanizing mega corporation that doesn’t even bother trying to appear like it cares and just pays an employee to just lie directly to you…stripped of all nuance and subtletey. It says they have to try less because people are too stupid to see it for what it is. There’s just something about a faceless corporation pretending to give a shit about you that feels so offputting and dystopian. I once got a birthday email from my bank and it kinda made me want to find out who was in charge of that decision and go take a shit on their desk. You’re not a fucking person don’t talk to me like you’re a person.
Some of his predictions are right on although he was wrong about Costco being the main megastore that eats up everything else and tries to be the one and only store, this was made before Amazon became basically what he was predicting costco would be. And he also rightfully predicts an oversexualization of society…his examples are silly like starbucks becoming a place where you get handjobs but it does seem like as things get shittier more and more people are resorting to some kind of sex work. I’ve never been on twitch because the idea of watching people play video games makes me a rage, but im told it’s basically impossible to use it without seeing half naked women turn it into some kind of erotic content.
I also thought the movie displayed the dunning krueger effect pretty well. Initially the main character who is from the past and is thus the smartest person alive is treated like the dumbest person they’ve ever seen…becuase they were too stupid to recognize how stupid they are so even basic common sense looked and sounded retarded to them.
In many ways we already live in the idiocracy, we’re getting dumber and we reward shitty dumb behaviour. The movie was essentially a reduction to absurdity of a real phenomena that’s only gotten a lot worse since it was written. The political pageantry was especially prescient because we’re currently watching a shit show involving a former and probably future president that’s actually been on WWE before.
Idiocracy was a good blend of dumb nonsense movie and intelligent satire. Definitely worth at least one watch despite the sometimes horrible cgi and somewhat lagging lackluster plot. It’s funny and it definitely holds up.
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