bythetownsend

[bythetownsend]

Clip from my podcast Oft Off Topic with animation

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Acrylic painting of my daughters favorite Dangonropa character: Nagito. Not really sure why.

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Acrylic painting of Goblin Slayer

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[bythetownsend]

Hitman games

I’ve started to play the latest Hitman game on the PS4. I'm still early, but I’m liking it. The premise is simple, you are the world’s top assassin charged with eliminating high level targets at the behest of an enigmatic shadow organization. Sounds cool right? It is if you have the patience to guide the tall, muscular, bald man with a resting bitch face through some rather complex missions.

The point of each level is: sneak into a place, take out ONLY the target (s), and escape unnoticed. Personally, I don’t have the best success rate in Hitman games. Oh, I’ll get my target. It just won’t be stealthy. My playthroughs are: "Go in, screw up and kill witness...kill another witness...kill another witness...rinse, lather, repeat." In past Hitman games I’ve left missions leaving behind a level completely devoid of life. Not a desired outcome.

Honestly, I find Hitman games tedious, stressful and infuriating. One may ask why I play these damned games if I get so frustrated? In response, I tell the same gaming story. I was playing Hitman Blood Money on the OG Xbox in 2006. The mission: A House of Cards. Objective: take out some rich bastard before he meets with some terrorists at a hotel in Vegas. There were some terrorists I had to kill as well, but that isn’t important to this story. The target’s route never deviated through each playthrough. He would walk through the lobby and ride the elevator to his floor. After casually walking down the long hallway, he would enter his room. Once inside he’d pace for several seconds before checking himself out in the mirror. After standing still for several moments, he’d eventually leave his room to meet with some of the other targets. After REPEATED failures, I came up with a plan. Tossing stealth out the window, I ran straight for the room. Once there, I picked the lock walked to his closet and hid. From inside the closet I could see the door and mirror. I waited… and I waited. I’ll admit it was extremely boring staring out of a half-closed closet waiting for the target to show. My eyes glazed as I watched the little red dot on the mini map slowly move towards me. Five minutes or more passed before he FINALLY entered the room. My adrenaline started to pump as I watched him enter. Several moments passed while I waited for his route to take him to the mirror. Without hesitation I stepped out of the closet, aimed, and shot him in the back of the head. It. Was. Glorious. Yes, I understand this makes me sound like a psychopath. I get that. The payoff of repeatedly banging my head trying to take this guy out from prior attempts to succeed this one time was incredible. Sadly, the rest of the mission didn’t go so well. While this particular hit was successful, the overall plan was terrible. While waiting in the closet for this one guy to show I missed several necessary objectives for the rest of the mission. Reaching the other targets at this point was near impossible. Giving up trying to figure it out myself I checked an online FAQ which told me to take this guy out in the elevator. That hadn’t occurred to me. I tend to lean on FAQs often for Hitman games.

Now, every time I pick up a Hitman game, including the most recent release, it’s all about chasing the dragon. I have yet to have such a strong reaction any other Hitman games released. Still, I’m going to keep playing. I’m going to keep banging against that wa. Objective: take out some rich bastard before he meets with some terrorists at a hotel in Vegas. There were some terrorists I had to kill as well, but that isn’t important to this story. The target’s route never deviated through each playthrough. He would walk through the lobby and ride the elevator to his floor. After casually walking down the long hallway, he would enter his room. Once inside he’d pace for several seconds before checking himself out in the mirror. After standing still for several moments, he’d eventually leave his room to meet with some of the other targets. After REPEATED failures, I came up with a plan. Tossing stealth out the window, I ran straight for the room. Once there, I picked the lock walked to his closet and hid. From inside the closet I could see the door and mirror. I waited… and I waited. I’ll admit it was extremely boring staring out of a half-closed closet waiting for the target to show. My eyes glazed as I watched the little red dot on the mini map slowly move towards me. Five minutes or more passed before he FINALLY entered the room. My adrenaline started to pump as I watched him enter. Several moments passed while I waited for his route to takeb him to the mirror. Without hesitation I stepped out of the closet, aimed, and shot him in the back of the head. It. Was. Glorious. Yes, I understand this makes me sound like a psychopath. I get that. The payoff of repeatedly banging my head trying to take this guy out from prior attempts to succeed this one time was incredible. Sadly, the rest of the mission didn’t go so well. While this particular hit was successful, the overall plan was terrible. While waiting in the closet for this one guy to show I missed several necessary objectives for the rest of the mission. Reaching the other targets at this point was near impossible. Giving up trying to figure it out myself I checked an online FAQ which told me to take this guy out in the elevator. That hadn’t occurred to me. I tend to lean on FAQs often for Hitman games.

[bythetownsend]

Mini History: Evil Cats

Throughout history cats have either been deified or vilified, depending on the culture. Thanks to Pope Gregory IX, cats were demonized throughout Europe in the thirteenth century. One cannot lay blame solely on the Pope for the hatred of cats. Still, his policies were instrumental in the rapid feline population decrease in Europe. He initiated the senseless killing of millions of cats in one of the stranger events of Western history.

Born ~1145 as Ugolino di Conti, Pope Gregory IX ascended to the highest position of Catholicism on March 19th, 1227. It’s said he was an energetic pope, although he was a man in his 80s. Because of the statistically short lifespan of people in that age, this was remarkable. Gregory IX had little patience for those he considered heretics and enacted policies to counter this ‘threat’. Historians don’t have many problems with most of his edicts while in power. Yet, most agree his personality was problematic, for his prickly attitude created several schisms within the church.

One of his more questionable edicts came between the years of 1232 to 1234. In his attempt to combat the Luciferian practice of devil worship, Pope Gregory IX he placed a death sentence on black cats. He believed felines were diabolical and Satan in disguise. The fact that cats are nocturnal and not subservient to man didn’t help the animal's fate. The wholesale slaughter of the poor critters began in earnest after this decree.

Although Pope Gregory IX specified targets were Black cats, the populous quickly targeted all cats. He also began a Papal Inquisition which aimed for heretics and devil worshippers. Unfortunately for those who may have owned a cat, the ‘logical conclusion’ many jumped to was “If they own a cat, they must be devil worshippers.” Many elderly and lonely individuals who happened to have a cat were brutally tortured and killed in the name of God.

Pope Gregory IX died in 1241 and was unable to witness the catastrophe which hit a century later. Between the years of 1346-1353 the Black Death hit Europe on the backs of rats hiding on ships originating from Central Asia. There is no clear line from “Cats wiped out” to “Annihilation of Eastern Europe”, but catastrophic decline in the feline population didn’t help. What is inferred is without the natural predators the rats spread disease with greater ease. Pope Gregory IX paranoia possibly killed hundreds of thousands of people more than it would have.

Historically, the world is a much better place if cats are deified. At least the Egyptians created a powerful civilization that stood for hundreds of years. True, they too eventually fell...so maybe deification isn’t the answer either. How about “cats are just animals which are neither good nor bad”. Also, don’t have more than three at a time. More than that they begin to...scheme.

[bythetownsend]

Old 2016 Blog: Age of Apocalypse Gripe

In March of 1995 I found some comics on a magazine rack in a random gas station in Columbus, Ga. It had been quite some time since I last purchased any comics. Looking at the selection, my eye gravitated towards the shiny chrome cover of X-men Alpha #1. The cover, drawn by the great Joe Madureira, featured alternate versions of the X-men I knew and loved. I hadn't read any of the prior comics this issue, but the alternate universe story of Age of Apocalypse drew me in. This was my introduction into one of the many crossover events of the 1990s.

The villain Apocalypse isn’t a fan favorite like Magneto. To compare the two isn’t quite fair. Magneto’s character is the ideological opposite to the X-men founder Charles Xavier. He doesn’t believe what he’s doing is wrong. His is a hardline stance towards the injustices mutants are suffering and is trying to fix things in his own way. His motivations are sympathetic to the reader.

Meanwhile, Apocalypse is a considerably less multi-faceted. He believes in “Survival of the Fittest”, and mutants have the right to kill all those who are weak. Meaning us. Although his character isn’t complex, I still liked his overwhelming menace. Thanks to Joe Mad’s artwork, my first impression of Apocalypse was “Man, he looks badass.” The recurring criticism of the villain is he suffers from the ‘Superman’ problem. He is so overpowered, it’s almost like he spawned from a little boy’s imagination while playing with his friends.

Apocalypse has a laundry list of abilities. Although this list has changed over the years, it’s still generally accurate. He has: Genius level intellect, Telekinesis, Telepathy, Teleportation, Immortality, Invulnerability, Regenerative Healing Factor, Reality Warping, Super Strength, Speed, and Matter/Energy/Mass Manipulation. God. To shorten the description may as well just say “He’s a god.” As I mentioned...Apocalypse is just a tad bit overpowered.

For some background, Apocalypse is considered the first mutant. He was born “En Sabah Nur” in ancient Egypt. He was found buried in the desert as a baby and raised by a nomad clan of warriors. These warriors instilled his belief of "Only the strong survive". Basing his entire methodology around this extreme Darwinian philosophy, Apocalypse set out to weed out the inferior human race.

The Age of Apocalypse started from a prior story arc that had Legion, Professor X’s son, go back and time and kill his father. Without Professor X to found the X-Men, Apocalypse was free to begin his culling of the weak. This story began after he had slaughtered or enslaved most of the world, leaving only several pockets of resistance.

The Age of Apocalypseseries ran from early 1995 to 1996. I was in my teens at the time, and with what money I could scrap together I collected all 39 issues. I became a regular at the local comic shop. Run by the Simpson’s Comic Book Guy brought to life, they happily sold me all the comics I could afford. The AoA run reignited my passion for comic books. Once the run was over, I continued to buy comics for many years after.

Sadly, Life happened, and my comic purchases had waned. My passion for comics never died. I just couldn't support my weekly visits to the comic shop (which sadly closed late 1999). Although I couldn’t enjoy the X franchise on the page, I was ecstatic hearing a movie adaptation of X-men coming soon. I eagerly waited for the announced release date of July 14, 2000. Seeing the promotional material, I was disappointed in the changes to the uniforms. After hearing the reasons for the changes, I understood. I still didn't like it. Still, I was thankful the movie was happening at all.

After two films, the director Bryan Singer exited the X universe for 'Superman Returns'. Without his involvement, the final movie in the X-men trilogy was abysmal. Eventually, Singer returned to “correct” many of the missteps in the franchise with ‘Days of Future Past’. Most X fans hold the Future Past story on a very high pedistal. I am not one of them. I know the story, it’s just I never got around to reading those issues. That said, I didn't mind the sweeping changes done for the big screen.

Finally, we come to the Age of Apocalypse story arc. While I wished they would stick close to the source, I knew there would be changes. No way Fox was going to do ANOTHER X-men time travel movie. I also understood that they weren’t going to use many of the primary characters. That was fine too. What I wanted was for them to get Apocalypse right. The weight AoA on screen rested on getting that one singular element right. They failed.

I could write pages tearing apart each character in the film. I'm not going to do that. To me, they could’ve botched every character and I wouldn't have cared had they just nailed Apocalypse. During post-production, Fox released the early 'Ivan Ooze' image on Entertainment Weekly's cover. This was when I started to have serious concerns. How could they have missed the mark by so far? I’ve seen better cosplay Apocalypses. After the negative response from fans, Fox made him a little less purple. It didn’t help.

Still, my optimism remained. Sure, the look was wrong but surely, they wouldn’t mess with his powers. The early buzz was the film would be a “Disaster Movie”. I imagined a Godzilla sized Apocalypse rampaging through New York. The X-men banding together to take him down. It's no time travelling alternate universe, but the godlike threat of Apocalypse would remain. My belief was reinforced when one of the trailers showed a giant Apocalypse crushing Xavier under his hand.

The movie was released to a deluge of negative reviews. Spoilers on the interwebs bore sad news. It was not ‘my’ Apocalypse on the screen. It was reported Singer had forbidden any comics on set. This was so there was no meddling with his vision. This was when I understood Singer was no longer the savior of the X franchise. He has since said he no longer wants to make X movies anymore but "wants to come back someday". No thank you Mr. Singer. Many wrote you off after Days of Future Past. You lost me at Age of Apocalypse.

Apocalypse has several powers in the film, but primarily leans on 3 specific ones. 1: power enhancement, 2: Body Transfer and 3: Sand powers. You read that correctly, sand power. Once again deviating from the comics. None of these three powers were among his already overpowered skill set.

I was disgusted by the end of the film. This isn’t because Apocalypse is my favorite villain. Far from it. It’s that he’s the reason I got back into comics during the summer of 1995. The Age of Apocalypse pulled me back into the colorful world of comics. I cannot believe that Singer dragged this story through the mud. No, that's not correct, I believe it, I'm just disappointed.

Leaving Age of Apocalypse, I'm afraid I am just done with the X franchise. At least for now. Coming up next is the Dark Phoenix saga, another multi issue storyline I didn't follow as a kid. Early reports are they are already bungling it up. I won't go into it now….but….goddammit.

[bythetownsend]

Trying this again

It’s been forever since I’ve posted anything on here. Going to try this again. Onward! Tally Ho! All that noise. 

I’m working on a novel, which means I need to get my stuff out there so people will actually give a shit. Hope you guys like what I have to offer!

[bythetownsend]

Pull & Release

Confetti of rained down from the surrounding buildings in a whirlwind of color. The stench of overpopulation was ignored as deafening cheers reverberated off the surrounding buildings. Women scrambled to the front of the gathered crowd that lined the main street of the city, hoping to catch his eye. Children climbed on boxes and sign posts trying to get a glimpse of him. Men set aside their petty jealousy and drank to his health. This was a day of celebration. The Hero had returned victorious from defeating the Lich King that had threatened their very existence.

Earnest watched the reverie from the fourth story of one of the residential buildings aligning the main road. He chose this spot because it gave him the clearest view of the parade possible. He spent the greater part of yesterday wandering in and out of buildings looking for the best vantage point. Those he knew thought it was to take a special someone to impress. He couldn’t tell them the truth.

The room he chose appeared to be abandoned long ago. Since the beginning of the great war against the Lich King, many of the residents had been drafted into the war. It began with the men of fighting age which eventually became anyone who could hold a weapon. From the thick cobwebs that connected the furniture to the walls, the inhabitants of this place were one of the first chosen.

Loud trumpets resounded as the cheers picked up on the street below. Earnest could see the line of victorious soldiers marching below. The foot soldiers led the column of troops and followed by armored knights on their steeds. He grimaced as their steps marched lock step. The drumming of their feet was audible above the screams of the people. He turned away from the parade and crouched against the wall to close his eyes.

Focusing on the march, Earnest went back in time. The great war had only just begun. He was ten years old, alone in a field firing his thousandth shot with his bow. His father had left for the initial push against the feared Lich King. Earnest knew in his heart his father would never return. He was the man of the house now.

Again, and again he pulled the bowstring. His fingers bled. His muscles ached. Earnest pushed away his emotions and focused on his task. Pull and release. That was all. He would push his youth away and embrace the darkness. Pull and release; his friends joined the March. Pull and release; his siblings joined the March. Pull and release; everyone joined the March. Pull and release. He knew nothing but the target. Pull and release.

As the targets grew bigger and stronger, so did his arsenal. No longer were the standard iron tipped arrows enough. He processed his own deadly poisons. Paid witches for elaborate curses. The boy who stood helpless against the March was gone. He gave his heart to Mistress Death. He offered her everything, and she took it. For his devotion, she gave him but emptiness. The void within overtook his everything to warp him into something else.

Earnest opened his eyes as the cheers and screams reached its crescendo. Looking through the open window he saw the Hero waving and smiling. Lost emotions broke through the darkness within his heart. The pounding in his chest confused him. He didn’t like it. Breathe, he had to breathe. He closed his eyes and reached for his bow. It calmed him. The feel of the wood and the taught string always did.

He allowed the euphoria of the crowd to wash over him. Cheers, joy, love, adoration...but there something else. It bothered Earnest. He couldn’t place it. What was this emotion which had seeped into the cracks of his heart? He looked down to the Hero and it appeared that, for only a moment, their eyes locked. Earnest’s confusion dissipated like fog. His beloved desired another gift. In one fluid motion he grabbed his bow.

Pull and release.