fishfooddude

[fishfooddude]

neeeed more boxer!Carmy!!! can we please have boyfriend hcs for him 💖💖💖

AHHHH we lovvvvveeeee boxer!carmy sm that i’m making it a series, i’d be happy to supply 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

tw!! our carmy went thru it as a kid. some suggestive content.

bf boxer!carmy hcs coming right up!!

concept 1. concept 2. concept 3.

bf boxer!carmy, me thinks, likes the calm of being around his pretty broad.

he’s a fighter (has been since the name calling turned into swirlies and books knocked out of hands and bodies shoved into lockers and heads smashed through glass and—

oh well)

so he’s used to calamity (devours it, to satiate that inherent ache in his belly, descended from generations upon generations of misplaced, misguided hurt), harnesses its power, the adrenaline, in every fight, focuses it. it’s why he’s so damn good at what he does.

but even he, carmen ‘carmy’ berzatto, the beast, the bear, needs his moments of solitude.

which is wear she comes in, polished and pretty in pink, just as always. her soft hand slips into his calloused palm like a puzzle piece, her silken lips settle into his own chapped ones like a key in a lock, and her body…

carmy’s never been good with words, but trying to describe the beauty of his girlfriend never fails to leave him speechless.

her supple figure, her delicate being, it fits to him, both literally and figuratively, unassumingly and forcibly, in ways he could never even begin to describe, can hardly begin to fathom. all he knows is that she makes everything… quiet. calm (when she wants to. sometimes, she’s gives him a bigger headache than any concussion ever could).

bf boxer!carmy fs pays for everything. like, hands down, every purchase his girl makes, from the day they start the talking stage to the dreadful day he fucks up their whole relationship and she leaves him (like he’d ever let her go), is paid for by him.

he will genuinely get upset if she even walks around with her wallet in her purse, let alone buys something with her own money; made her delete all her cards—debit and credit—from her phone and put all of his there instead.

he's not trying to buy her love (though maybe her forgiveness, nothing says ‘i'm sorry’ like a new pair of jimmy choo's and a westwood purse), fuck no—nor is he trying to place authority over her, stake some fucked up claim that twistedly means he now owns her—he only wants to spoil her, keep her safe and secure, offer her comfortability.

it used to be an issue, she couldn���t get it through that pretty, thick fucking skull of hers that the money she made was not to be touched, not unless it’s an emergency (like a literal emergency, cannot stress that enough).

once, still in the fairly early stages of their relationship, he took her out to a quaint little cafe down the road from his press conference for his upcoming fight, and she tried to pay for their coffee. he, sadly, broke one of her acrylics in the process of slamming the hand with her card against the chasier counter and snatching said card away (tears were surely shed, but after profuse apologies and a few—appeasing on his end, begrudging on her end—kisses, she was softly, sweetly reprimanded for being dumb enough to think she was ever paying for anything with him around). needless to say, she doesn’t pay for anything, and never even thinks to anymore unless she’s trying to get on his nerves.

speaking of acrylics, bf boxer!carmy definitely makes her match ‘em to the tip. he reads as a head scratch, back scratch kinda guy, too, so honestly the longer and pointier the better. he also lovessss her signature baby pink toes (can’t take his eyes off ‘em when he’s got her on her back with her feet pressed to his pecs, soft strokes, teasing, ‘til those baby pink toes curl ‘cause he hit that spot. then, he’s pounding—).

bf boxer!carmy likes coming home to food. doesn’t really care if it’s take out or home cooked, always appreciates the love his girl puts into her cooking though. but if there’s not enough for two (at least for six, he always has three helpings, if not more) this man will throw a FIT. what’s his baby gonna eat? and she best not get smart and say some dumb shit like ‘girl dinner’ bc he will shut her tf up (don’t threaten us w a good time bear 🤭).

any time she neglects to make or order food for herself, he leaves her standing at the kitchen island to go get her favorite from either the three michelin star restaurant down on 39th street or the bodega on the corner of their block.

sometimes, she does it on purpose:

“where’s yours, cub?” carmy huffs, duffle slipping onto his polished wood floors with a dull thud. his hair is matted with sweat and he stinks, he knows—can’t fucking wait to get in the shower—but he’s got a more pressing matter at hand right now.

his girl, scrubbing the dirty dishes in a ballet pink baby doll and silk bonnet to match, raises a perfectly plucked brow, and lifts her eyes to address him with a soft, conniving cadence.

“where’s m’wha’, bear?”

and god it’s so difficult to call her out when she’s looking at him like… like that.

he could knock her tf out right now (more like choke her tf out but).

he rolls his eyes, doesn’t miss her pleased smile as he turns on his heel, keys and wallet in hand, and walks right back out the front door.

bf boxer!carmy who can’t sleep without his girl in their bed, cradled in his arms, bundled between their satin sheets, fuzzy blankets, and a hefty comforter. keeps the AC on high all night long so he has an excuse to keep her close. he usually sticks to big spoon, though he’s certainly not opposed to being held (makes back and head scratches that much easier), he’d never pass up on the chance to stuff his face in his pretty broad’s pretty chest.

he drools and snores when he’s had a rough day or falls into the deepest sleep, and he always gets this cute scrunch to his face when he’s dreaming about something sad (sad, is her decided word, because that’s all she can feel when she kisses the furrow between his brows away).

when she can’t make it to one of his fights (which is few and far between) he spends as much of the night as he can on the phone with her just to stall the inevitable tossing and turning that’s waiting for him when the line goes dead (it’s the familiarity that gets to him, haunts him. it’s so easy to remember what it’s like, those restless nights, the constant noise).

and lastly (for now) bf boxer!carmy is suchhhh a control freak. as much as he loves his pretty broad, she irks him to NO END with the way she does the exact fucking opposite of what he so sweetly asks of her, too often to be good for his general mental health and wellbeing. he may push her buttons, but 8 out of 10 times it’s never fucking deliberate. she, the little fucking magenta devil, does that shit like it’s her only source of entertainment.

though, he can hardly complain. she may never learn her lesson, but at least she knows how to take a punishment like a good girl—

—

a/n: KEEP THE REQUESTS COMING PLS WRITING THJS EAS LOKE HEROINE INMY VEINSXHSHAHDGWJA

im fine. 😁.

not proofread!!

[fishfooddude]

I Hate New York.

Part 3 of the Would you still love me if I was a worm? series

MDNI 18+

The Bear Masterlist

Directory

Part 2

“So she’s keeping the baby… and you’re moving in together… in New York?” Natalie asked slowly, trying to make sense of the info dump Carmy had given everyone at The Bear during family service that evening. Carmy nodded; he’d had this stupid love-struck smile plastered on his face since you had your conversation a few weeks ago. 

“Yeah, she got this big promotion. I’m proud of her and wanna be with her and my kid, so we’re going to New York next week,” Carmy confirmed. Natalie wanted to be happy for you and Carmy, but she had this gut feeling that something would happen. She didn’t know how to explain it, but since becoming a mother herself, she could just sense when something would go down. 

“I’m just- I’m just worried, Carmy. You two are moving fast. I just want to ensure you’re sure you want this.” Carmy shook his head at Natalie’s words. Ever since the two of you had decided to keep the baby and move in together- in New York, everyone seemed to share the opinion of the two of you moving ‘too quickly.’

“Sugar, I’m happy. Like- really happy. I never thought I’d have this… I love Y/N, and I know we haven’t been together all that long, but this feels right.” Carmy explained as he leaned against the wall of Natalie’s kitchen. She sighed in reply, but before she could say anything, cries came from the baby monitor. “Saved by the cryin’ baby.”

Natalie laughed, “Well, since you’re so ready to be a Dad, why don’t you go check on your niece?”

~

“Okay, here we have oven-roasted sweet potatoes with sauteed corn and squash. Then there's a kale salad with pumpkin seeds and lentils-” 

“Carmy, I swear to god. You need to stop making me eat all these damn vegetables,” you whined as you slumped back on the couch. You heard him chuckle from the kitchen before joining you. Carmy squeezed your knee and stomped your feet as you pushed your hands through your hair. Carmy heartily laughed and leaned over to gently kiss your ever-growing baby bump. 

“My love, I want that baby to come out all happy and healthy. You’re doin’ all the work in growin’ the baby and keepin’ her all safe and cozy- feeding you everything that little girl needs to be all nice and healthy is all I can do.” Carmy cooed as he rubbed soft, slow circles against your bump and lovingly gazed up at you. You laughed and pushed his hair out of his face.

“Let me eat a freakin’ donut. And some hot chips.” you groaned, “I am a hard-workin’ lady, and I can’t have a damn glass of wine or go to the Coral Omakase dinner my boss is throwing… don’t make me eat more vegetables.” Carmy laughed at your explanation and rested his cheek on your bump. You glared at him and pouted, “Are you really going to deny your pregnant girlfriend a donut? …And maybe some Sour Patch Kids…” 

“I just want you and our baby girl to be healthy. All the books-”

“Carmy, I just want one donut.” you pleaded, giving him your best puppy dog expression. 

Carmy groaned and moved to bury his face in your cleavage. “She’s gonna be able to do that too, huh? That look? She’s gonna have me wrapped around her little finger.”

You laughed and glanced at the clock, “I gotta go, babe. Thank you for making me lunch- even if it’s 90% vegetables.” Carmy rolled his eyes as he helped you get up from the couch. “Only a couple more weeks until you don’t have to help me up from the couch.” 

“Well, in six weeks, I’ll be helpin’ ya with other stuff.” Carmy added before kissing your cheek, “Have a good day, and make sure you drink enough water.”

“You got it, Dr. Berzatto, my unofficial OBGYN.” you saluted and gave him a short side hug. Carmy laughed, and you walked out of the living room. He watched as you grabbed your bag from the floor and your lunch box from the counter. “I love you. See you tonight.” you smiled as you exited the apartment.

“Bye, baby,” Carmy called as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. He rocked on his heels before walking into the kitchen to do the dishes. Carmy had a routine since the two of you moved to New York. He did what he could for The Bear, mostly ordering and menu ideas. It never felt like enough, but Carmy couldn’t work at a New York restaurant again with the baby on the way. He was anxious enough about his impending paternity to ever work in a New York kitchen again; the idea of it made his ulcers flair up.

Carmy spent his days reading books about pregnancy and parenting. He became a regular at the local bookshop and library, getting his hands on everything he could. Being a Dad was unknown territory to him, and he didn’t have many fond memories of his father. He remembered overhearing his mom and dad fighting before his dad left and inevitably got arrested. Uncle Jimmy and Mikey were the closet things he’d had to a father figure, and with Mikey being gone, Uncle Jimmy was the best he could, and there was still a certain level of difficulty for the emotional side of ‘father figuring’ that Jimmy couldn’t fulfill for Carmy. 

Carmy refused to let that cycle continue. Although he didn’t always understand his emotions, he was trying to do better for his daughter. That afternoon, after doing the laundry, he decided to tackle the last few things he needed to do in the nursery.

Soft pastel yellow walls were still bare, furniture needed to be assembled, and things needed to be organized. Walking into the nursery always brought a wave of peace over Carmy. Sweet stuffed animals sat on a shelf by the window with a collection of children's books and a basket of other baby needs. The box containing the crib leaned against the wall, along with a collection of paintings Carmy had done but hadn’t hung yet. In the corner was a vintage rocking chair the two of you had found at a flea market when you’d first moved. Carmy stood in the center of the room and couldn’t help but smile. 

~

“Hey, I’m home,” you called as you entered the apartment that evening. “Carm?” you called when you saw he wasn’t in the living room or kitchen. You walked down the hall and saw the nursery door was askew. “Carm?” you asked as you nudged the door open. 

“Oh my god.” you gasped as you saw the completed nursery before you, “You- Carmy.”

He looked over his shoulder and shot you a smile, “Hi, baby.” 

“You finished the nursery?” 

He nodded in response, “You like it, baby? I can change-”

“Carmy, I love it.” you cut him off as you fully entered the nursery. As you looked around the room, noticing all the small details, you’d absentmindedly started rubbing your bump. Carmy smiled and got up from the floor, placing his hands over yours after closing the small gap between you. You smiled up at him, “Thank you, Carmy.”

Carmy shrugged, “I just wanna be a good dad.”

“You are.” you smiled as you tip-toed up to kiss his nose. Carmy chuckled and shifted his hands from yours and around your sides to rest on your lower back. He laced his fingers together before pulling you as close as your bump allowed. 

“I just wanna be different.” Carmy sighed, “My Dad wasn’t around much… people haven’t been the most supportive of all this, but I wanna be good for her.” Carmy put his chin on your shoulder as he spoke. “I want her to feel safe and loved… wanted.”

You wrapped your arms around Carmy’s neck as he spoke, “She will, Carm. She will.”

~~

“You’re gorgeous.” Carmy complimented as he leaned against the bathroom doorframe. You rolled your eyes and continued curling your hair. He clicked his tongue and entered the bathroom, “Hey, you are.” 

You giggled as Carmy hopped onto the bathroom counter and leaned against the mirror with his arms folded across his chest as he lovingly watched you. “You’re just sayin’ that. I’m freakin’ huge.” 

“Yeah. With MY baby…” Carmy smirked as his eyes roamed your body. You felt a blush coming over your face as you shook your head. He chuckled and watched you finish your hair. As you unplugged your curling wand, he hopped down from the counter and came up behind you. You smiled at him in the mirror as he rested his chin on your shoulder and rubbed your bump through your oversized t-shirt. “Pregnant with my baby…” he muttered as he turned his head to nip at your neck. 

“Carmy…” you giggled, “I gotta go to work…”

“Be late…” he snickered as he trailed kisses up your neck to the pulse point below your ear. You bit your lip at the feeling of his teeth graze over the sensitive skin. “Let me take care of you… you’re so fuckin’ sensitive; I’ll make you cum fast.”

You leaned against Carmy’s body and let your head fall to the side, giving him more access to your neck. Carmy left a trail of gentle, wet kisses on your neck before turning you in his arms and kissing your lips. A whiny moan escaped your throat as Carmy’s hands traveled down your back. He took the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth as his hands slid over your butt and hooked under your thighs. You squealed as Carmy lifted you onto the bathroom counter. He chuckled and broke the kiss, leaving you desperate for more, “You are incredible.” he smiled, running a thumb over his cheekbone.

Carmy looked at you as he moved his hands to your knees and slowly spread them as he lustfully gazed into your eyes, making you melt. His hands traveled up your thighs toward your hips. As he hooked his thumbs in the band of your sleep shorts, you felt a tingle surge through your body. You leaned back on your palms and lifted your hips, making it easier for Carmy to pull them down. After dropping the shorts on the floor, Carmy’s hands were back on your hips. He gently pulled you to the edge of the counter, giving him easier access to your exposed pussy. You felt your cheek get hot as he sank to his knees. 

“What baby? You nervous?” he chuckled as he stared up at you. You shook your head and bit your lip, “Then what is it?” he asked as he softly kissed your inner thigh. Your body jolted at the sudden sensation, making Carmy smirk against your skin before placing another kiss higher than the last. 

“I haven’t-” You paused your sentence with a soft whine as Carmy pushed your thighs farther apart and kissed higher. “I haven’t shaved in a while…” 

Carmy shook his head as his lips finally reached your center, “I don’t care, baby.” he spoke softly. Before you could protest, he kissed your lips, making you twitch. Carmy inhaled your scent as he slowly ran his tongue up the length of your core, flicking his tongue when he reached your clit. You moaned softly and struggled to look over your bump to watch as Carmy devoured your core.

~

“Carmy!” you gasped, sitting up suddenly in bed that evening. He shifted half-asleep, mumbling something you couldn’t quite make out. “Carmy!” you urged, smacking his shoulder, causing him to shoot up.

“Is the baby coming?” he scrambled to find the switch on his bedside table as he spoke. As light filled the room, he saw you protectively holding your bump. “Baby? What’s wrong?” he worried.

“Somethings wrong…”

[fishfooddude]

When you match with a guy named Jeremy on hinge but it's not Jeremy Allen White 😒

[fishfooddude]

Sub Carmy blurb?

[fishfooddude]

yall ever miss your own energy?? like damn wtf happened to me??

[fishfooddude]

Drunk Baby

Rhett Abbott x Reader

You’re spending time with Amy and Cecelia one night while Rhett and Perry are out. Rhett comes home a little too drunk and a little horny. Cecelia gets Amy out of the room, and Perry asks if you can handle his brother. You’re annoyed by his behavior but get him upstairs in one piece.

Outer Range Masterlist

My Directory

“What’s that one’s name?” you asked, gesturing to a brightly colored cartoon character dancing across the screen. Amy laughed and told you for the third or fourth time. You nodded and grabbed your phone from the floor to check Rhett’s location. He and Perry had gone to the bar that night after finishing their ranch work. It wasn’t too late, but it was getting closer to Amy’s bedtime, and Perry had promised to read her a chapter of Charlotte’s Web.

“Are you okay, honey?” Cecilia asked as she walked into the living room, her bathrobe tied tightly around her waist. You nodded and set your phone down again. She nodded, “Amy, get to bed.” 

“But Dad isn’t home yet,” Amy whined as she sank onto the couch. You frowned and offered her a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. Amy groaned and reluctantly got up from the sofa.

“How about I read to you, Ams?” you offered as you followed her lead to the stairs. Amy nodded eagerly. As you were about to go upstairs, the front door swung open, revealing a glassy-eyed Perry and a stumbling Rhett. “Oh lord…” you mumbled, “Ams, how about you go upstairs.” Amy looked between the three of you. 

“I can read to ya, baby, com’on.” Perry hung his jacket on the coat rack as Rhett looked at you like he was about to pounce. Perry clapped his hands, “Com’on Ams. Get upstairs.” Amy nodded and walked upstairs. Perry shot you an apathetic look before following her. The two of them were half way up the stairs when Rhett pounced, making you yip.

“You’re so pretty…” Rhett mumbled as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. You shook your head and tried to push him off of you only for Rhett to wrap his arms around you even tighter. “Why you tryin’ to get away baby?”

“Rhett you’re drunk, let’s just get you upstairs.” you scolded as you tried to wiggle out of his grip.

“With you?” he cooed as he squeezed you tighter. You nodded and Rhett exhaled against your hair, “I love you baby.”

“I love you too my big drunk baby. Let’s get you to bed.”

[fishfooddude]

They aren't necessarily jeans but I dig the Carhartt men's jeans/pants they have a good amount of bagginess and stay comfy at the waist.

Where do yall buy jeans your girl needs recs because I for the life of me cannot find non skinny high waisted jeans 😭

[fishfooddude]

I love when yall send requests because it means I can put off writing the next part of "would you still love me if I was a worm?"

[fishfooddude]

In case no one’s told you lately:

You’re not a burden.

It’s okay to be struggling.

It’s okay to tell people you’re struggling.

Please tell people you’re struggling.

Don’t suffer in silence. Tell someone. Get help.

It’s okay to need help.

Please get yourself help.

You’re not the exception to recovery.

The world is more beautiful because you’re in it.

You’re worth it.

You’re a good person.

Thank you for existing.

You’re beautiful.

You’re not the exception to recovery.

Please stay alive.

If you’re looking for a sign not to kill yourself, this is it.

Please, stay alive.

People love you.

I love you.

Don’t give up.

You’re not the exception to recovery.

You’re not the exception to recovery.

[fishfooddude]

Don't ever hesitate. Reblog this. This should be in the tumblr laws. When you see it, REBLOG IT.

[fishfooddude]

I'm so happy you liked it 😇

Ooo if it’s okay (totally okay if not!) can I please request an angst to fluff Carmy x fem!reader where Y/n and Carmy had been engaged when he was in culinary school in New York, maybe she was going to a University then for elementary education or something, but they had broken up after Carmy got the news about his brother and went back to Chicago and they lost touch. Fast forward and Y/n is visiting Chicago and happens to walk into The Bear to eat (she didn’t know it was Carmy’s restaurant because the last time they talked, “The Bear” was “The Beef”) holding a little girl almost 2 years old who looks strikingly similar to Carmy. I’m sure he’d be upset that she didn’t tell him about her though, but they talk through everything (maybe Carm has gotten some therapy by this point😅)

Carmy getting to know his daughter and overtime rekindling his relationship and getting back together with Y/n?🥹

Second Chances

Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Reader

The Bear Master List

My Directory

“Carmen! Will you fuckin’ talk to me!” you yelled as you watched Carmy move across your shared bedroom.

“There’s nothin’ to fuckin’ talk about!” he yelled back, throwing clothes into his suitcase.

“Carm, you can’t just ‘move back to Chicago’! We’re engaged! I’m in school, and you haven’t even put in a two-week notice. We just renewed our fuckin’ lease!” you challenged, throwing your hands up exhaustedly. “Listen, I get it. Grief and mourning is hard-”

“Don’t. Don’t you fuckin’ dare.” Carmy said coldly, stopping in his tracks. You stepped back and watched Carmy push a hand through his hair, “Listen. Y/N. I need to do this. Come, don’t come. I honestly don’t fuckin’ care at this point.”

“You don’t care? Carmy… we’re engaged? We’re engaged, but don’t you care about me? About what I want? How do you-”

“Break up with me then.” Carmy cut you off. His words left you blindsided, and you stared at him as you let the emotions ruminate. 

“What?” 

“This is happening Y/N. I’m moving back to Chicago, and truthfully, I don’t care what you think or how this makes you feel. Mikey left me his restaurant, and I’m gonna make it good. Stay in New York, do whatever. I don’t care.” Carmy said scarily calmly as he zipped his bag. 

“Fuck you, Berzatto.” you scoffed as you tried to pry the engagement ring off of your finger. “I’ve known you for two fuckin’ years. You’ve talked to your sister, like, what, three times in the last two years? You’re brother even less- and now you’re throwing away our life to go run some shitty sandwich shop?”

“You don’t fuckin’ get it, Y/N! Okay. You don’t fuckin’ get it.” Carmy exacerbated as he grabbed his bag. “Just forget about me.”

~~~~

“Momma!” You heard your two-year-old's excited squeal from the other side of the AirBnB the two of you had been staying in. You groaned; it was 5 a.m. and entirely too early to wake up, but Hailey couldn’t tell time yet. As you got out of bed, you heard Hailey’s giggles intensifying. You laughed as you walked out of the bedroom and down the hall into the living room. Haliey had managed to get onto the window seat by the large bay window overlooking the busy Chicago street.

“Do you see a dog?” you cheerfully asked as you came up and lifted her onto your hip. Hailey nodded furiously and pointed across the street, where a man struggled to walk five large dogs. You smiled and bounced Haliey on your hip. “Just like at home, huh, sugar cookie? Chicago is a lot like New York.” Hailey giggled and rested her face on your collarbone, bringing her thumb to her mouth. “Okay, let’s get you some breakfast. Then we’ll get dressed. After that, you can watch some Bluey while Momma gets ready… then I’m gonna drop you off at Uncle Ryan’s house, and you two will have a super fun day- I heard he’s taking you to the zoo.” you explained, Hailey propped up at the mention of ‘the zoo’ which made you laugh. “Yeah, you and Uncle Ryan are gonna see lions, and tigers, and bears-”

“Oh my!” Haliey exactly squealed against her thumb. You laughed and sat her on the couch before going into the kitchen to make the two of you cereal bowls. “Momma!” 

“I’m comin’ Hailey. I’m comin’.” you ensured as you returned to the living room. You placed the bowls on the coffee table and grabbed your phone from your bag. “Okay… Hailey, I’m going to get this job. We are going to move to Chicago permanently… Mommas’ gonna have an amazing job, and you’re gonna be so so so happy.” you said more to reassure yourself as opposed to informing Hailey of your prospective job. “We’re gonna be okay.”

Hailey happily munched on her cereal and babbled on about some elaborate story she’d created while you nervously poked at your bowl. You watched her sandy brown bedhead-ridden hair bounce as she got more invested in telling you her story. Her stories were always the highlight of your day. Hailey was what kept you going when work was a pain in the ass or when everything was overwhelming. The way she lit up over things she loved, the way she laughed and smiled, her imagination… her eyes. The same dazzling blue of her father- you shook your head at the thought of him. 

Carmen “Carmy” Berzatto. James Beard award-winning chef with a highly decorated resume of some of the most prominent, four Michelin Star restaurants across the country- hell across the world. He not only gave up that to run a crappy sandwich shop, he also gave up your shared future. The night he left was one of the worst nights of your life. You almost failed your finals the following month, and then you found out you were pregnant. Finishing school, having Hailey, and doing internships was hard, but the work paid off. Today was the day you were interviewing to be the principal of one of Chicago's most elite private schools. Cushy benefits, a considerable pay bump, being closer to your brother and his long-term girlfriend… the only downside was the potential of running into Carmy. 

~~~

“Yo Y/N- over here!” Danny called, waving his hand to catch your attention just outside some fancy restaurant Suzie had managed to get a reservation at. You waved and saw Hailey smiling in your direction.

“Hey guys- there’s my baby!” you cooed, taking Hailey from his arms. She happily squealed and kicked her feet as you bounced her on your hip. “I missed you, sugar cookie.”

“How’d the interview go?” Suzie excitedly asked. You shrugged as you ran your thumb across Hailey’s cheek. Suzie nodded, “Well, they’d be stupid not to hire you. Com’on The Bear is one of the best new restaurants in the city, and I’ve been dying to try it.”

The four of you had a phenomenal meal, although there was something eerily similar about it. “I swear I’ve had this exact meal before.” you laughed.

Carmy was walking to the hostess stand when he heard your laughter. He stopped dead in his tracks and quickly scanned the dining room before his eyes landed on the back of your head. It had been years since he’d seen you, but your laugh was the dead giveaway he needed to identify you. Carmy turned his attention back to the hostess stand and passed off a clipboard. “Here��” he said before walking back to the kitchen. Before he entered, he looked back into the dining room and saw your side profile. He swallowed softly as he felt memories of the two of you rushing back to him. Carmy paused before quickly walking back into the kitchen and to his station. 

Carmy tried to distract himself for the rest of dinner service, but knowing you were on the other side of those swinging doors was enough to throw him off his game. “I’ll be right back,” he muttered in Syd’s direction before quickly walking into the back office before she could respond. As soon as he’d reached the office, he closed and locked the door behind himself before leaning back against the door and pushing his hands through his hair. “Name all the brown things…” he mumbled as he took a deep breath. Carmy looked around the office, “The couch… the desk…, and those shelves… fuckin’ Jason.” he scoffed, realizing the ‘anxiety tricks’ his therapist had taught him had been beneficial. After another deep breath, Carmy went to sit at his desk. He opened the top drawer to reveal a worn bubble mailer. He stared at it for a second before slamming the drawer closed. He couldn’t think about you right now; he needed to get back into the kitchen.

When he walked out of the kitchen again, he saw your party had left. Carmy cursed under his breath as he quickly walked toward the exit. You coming into his restaurant had to be a sign, right? He looked up and down the street, trying to find you. Panic began to creep up as he realized he may have been too late. “Holy shit… Carmy?” your voice made Carmy’s brain go blank as he turned to face you. He was awestruck by your presence and couldn’t manage to string two words together. “Carmy?” you asked again, laughing awkwardly. 

“He-ey-y bab- Y/N… hey Y/N.” Carmy corrected himself before shoving his hands in his pockets as he rocked on his heels. 

“Hey… what are you doin’ here?” 

“Oh uh- this,” Carmy started before awkwardly gesturing up to The Bear, “It’s my-my restaurant. It used to be The Beef- Mikey’s restaurant, but uhh, we remodeled…” he explained. You nodded and glanced at your watch, wondering where Danny was with the car. “So uh- what, what brought you to Chicago?” 

“Job interview- principal position at Ridgeview Conservatory.” 

“Wow, that’s fancy.” Carmy responded, “You in Chicago much longer?” 

“A couple more days… visiting my brother Danny and his girlfriend.”

“Do you wanna get coffee tomorrow afternoon?” Carmy blurted out, “It’s cool if you can’t- I just… this feels like a- like a sign. Ya know?” 

You nodded, “I-I uh... Yes. I can do that.”

“Cool, cool… there’s this place on 9th called Ginger Snap- wanna meet up at like 3:30?”

“Yeah, that sounds good… see you then?” you confirmed, finally noticing Danny pulling up to the curb, “Bye, Carm..” he nodded and watched you get into the backseat next to the car seat. You glanced down to see Hailey sleeping. You watched her momentarily before the weight of your decision to have coffee with Carmy finally hit you. “Are you workin’ tomorrow, Danny?” 

“Yeah, did you need me to watch Hails?” he eagerly asked as he drove toward your AirBnB. 

“It’s okay. I can just take her with me.” 

“You have another interview?” Suzie brought up, turning her head to face you. You shook your head and thought for a second.

“Just hangin’ out with a friend of mine.” you slyly responded, hoping Danny hadn’t seen you talking to Carmy. Suzie shot you a suspicious look before turning back in her seat. “I’m sure they’ll love to meet Hailey.”

~~

“Carmy. Ready for our appointment?” Jason called. Jason was a clean-cut man. He wasn’t anything special. Carmy couldn’t pick him out if he'd been in a lineup of men. The waiting room was posh, with muted pastel green walls and some simplistic nature art in simple black frames. After a year, Carmy still couldn’t determine whether they were trees or leaves. He got up from his chair and tossed his empty coffee cup in the trash before following the man into an office. Carmy watched him sit in a dark leather armchair before he sat on a grey couch across from him. “So. What’s new?”

“I’m getting with my ex-fiance in about an hour… that’s-that’s new. Um… I don’t know how I feel about that.” Carmy started leaning back on the couch as he folded his arms over his lap and nervously played with the side seam of his jeans. He looked up to meet Jason’s non-chantant face, “I told her to forget about me, and then a couple of months later, she mailed me her engagement ring… I keep it at my desk as like a reminder of everything I gave up for this freakin’ restaurant- and then she has dinner in my restaurant.” Carmy chuckled softly, “She had dinner at my restaurant on a night when I made one of her favorite dishes- that’s a sign, right? She came to Chicago for a job interview- she’s gonna nail it. She’s a fuckin’ genius… badass clinical social worker with an additional master’s degree in early childhood education. She was always at the top of her class, even when she was working and doing multiple internships. She dealt with me being an ass… I don’t know Jason. It feels like a sign, and I know we talked about coincidences like six months ago, and I don’t wanna get all God-y, but I feel like this is God bringing her back to me. Like-like, the world is this big massive black hole of a place, and my life has been filled with all this pain and shit, right? She was the only good thing I had; now she’s back. I could get her back.” Carmy finally took a breath, and Jason shifted in his seat and moved his pen between his fingers like he had done when he was in deep contemplation. 

“Do you remember your first goal when we started seeing each other?” 

Carmy thought momentarily before a laugh escaped his chest. “I said I wanted to feel in control of my life.” Jason nodded and shifted in his seat again. “I sound insane, don’t I? I left this woman high and dry. She doesn’t want me back, but I need to apologize for the last time we saw each other.”

“What if she doesn’t accept your apology? Do you think you can accept that?”

Carmy scoffed at the question, “There’s no way she’s going to accept my apology. I think I can accept that… but can you concede it was, in fact, a sign that all of this is happening right now, right?”

“I believe in coincidences. I want you to tell me the worst-case scenario, the best-case scenario, and the most realistic scenario of what this meeting will result in.” Jason calmly asked while he maintained eye contact with Carmy.

“Okay…” Carmy nodded as he thought for a moment. “Worst case scenario, she either doesn’t show up, or she does show up and makes a scene tellin’ me what a d-bag I am- granted, she wouldn’t use that language. She’d say something WAY harsher, which is one of the many things I love- loved about her. She always spoke her mind… best case scenario, we get coffee. While we’re drinking our coffee, she tells me she’s moving to Chicago, and I ask her out, and we get back together.”

“Idealistic. I like that. What’s the most realistic?” Jason asked with a chuckle.

“We get coffee, we talk. She decides she doesn’t hate me for leaving her, and I don’t know beyond that…” Carmy answered truthfully.

~~

“This is a mistake…” you mumbled to yourself as you adjusted Hailey on your lap. Gingersnap Coffee was a small coffee shop. It was cute, definitely a place Carmy and you would’ve gone to when you two were together in New York. You sighed and went back to watching the door as Hailey flopped her giraffe toy on the table. 

Carmy arrived at the coffee shop on the dot at 3:30. He saw you sitting at the back table and felt a surge of energy overcome him. The two of you made eye contact; Carmy grinned as he approached the table. You stood up awkwardly, resulting in Haliey pausing her giraffe story, “Hey,” you smiled weakly, immediately regretting the fact you brought Hailey. Carmy was about to greet you when Hailey curiously looked up at him. He glanced down at the little girl and felt his heart stop. 

Carmy stared at Hailey. She smiled at him and pushed her giraffe toy in his direction. Unsure of what to do, he looked at you, then back at Hailey, then at you again before finally sputtering, “Yo-you have a kid?” 

You nodded slowly and gestured for him to sit down. Carmy hesitated, but after you sat down, he followed suit. Carmy stared at Hailey. “I shoulda told you.” you passively excused.

“W-wait…” Carmy started, “She’s… is she?”

You nodded at Carmy’s implication, “I can explain-”

Carmy shook his head, “You had my baby and didn’t tell me? Were you ever going to tell me?” 

“You left me,” you said in a hushed, blunt tone, “Carm, you told me to forget about you. I gave you the ring back. I blocked your number. I was trying to forget about you- then I found out I was pregnant. I hadn’t talked to you in weeks, and I figured if you could so easily throw away our engagement-”

“No.” Carmy spoke sternly, “If I knew you were pregnant, I woulda done the right thing.”

The two of you sat in a tense silence interrupted by Hailey sneezing multiple times, “Bess you!” she giggled, making you laugh as you dug a tissue out of your purse to wipe her nose. Carmy leaned back and watched the scene before him, realizing he’d missed two years of her life. “Tank you Momma.” 

Carmy wrung his hands out under the table and nervously glanced at the decorative clock on the wall adjacent to the table the three of you had occupied. “Do you wanna hold her?” your question surprised Carmy. He thought briefly before slowly nodding, “Okay… so Hailey, this is one of Mommy’s friends?” you stopped yourself and sighed. “That’s a lie… this is your Dad…” 

Dad. Camy felt like his chest would explode as you spoke to Hailey. The word echoed in his head as he accepted Hailey in his arms. She looked up at him with curious eyes. “Hi,” she softly greeted him as she reached up to touch Carmy’s face. He smiled at her.

“Hi,” Carmy repeated softly, “Is-is that- do… do you like giraffes?” 

~~

You were supposed to go back to New York the day after tomorrow; you stared up at the ceiling that night. As tired as you were, you couldn’t turn your brain off. Guilt, shame, regret… you should’ve told Carmy you were pregnant. What did he even mean by ‘do the right thing’? Would he have abandoned Mikey’s restaurant and come back to New York? Would the two of you gotten back together? Hailey’s life would’ve been so different if he’d been there from the start. You sighed, reached for your phone from the side table, and quickly scrolled to Carmy’s contact. You paused for a moment; it was almost 2 in the morning. You knew he was probably still awake.

“Hey- you okay?” Carmy answered on the first ring. “Yeah- can’t sleep… I’m due back in New York… I don’t know if I got the principal job… what do we do?” your voice quivered as you softly spoke into the phone. “I don’t know… I know I’ve only met Hailey once, but I love her. I can’t walk away from her.” 

“Are you watching that Italian grandma cooking show?” Carmy chuckled at your question, “Yeah… can’t sleep.” the line was quiet momentarily, “Hailey and I used to watch it when she was colic.” 

“She’s my kid.” Carmy chuckled. You nodded, knowing he couldn’t see you through the phone. You rolled onto your side and watched Hailey sleep. She was sprawled out, taking up most of the bed with her little body. “If I get this job and move out here permanently, do you want to do a shared custody thing? I guess it could start with the three of us, and then you can have more individual time with her…”

“Are you seeing anyone?” Carmy asked, ignoring the custody question entirely. “What do you think? I’m workin’ two jobs and have a two-year-old.” you laughed. Carmy smiled and pushed a hand through his hair, “Okay… guess I just wanted to know if- I know you probably don’t wanna get back together, but I don’t know… I was talkin’ to my therapist earlier. He gave some perspective- I wasn’t the man you deserved. I treated you like fuckin’ shit, and I’ve spent the last two years of my life trying to forget about you and move on with my life and create something Mikey would be proud of… I regret how we ended and hate myself for not being involved in Hailey’s life. When I was holding her and-and she was tellin’ that story about her giraffe… I can’t go back to not being in her life.” Carmy admitted. “Uh- if you get that job and move out here, there’s an empty two-bedroom in my building. This isn’t me sayin’ we should move in together or anything, but um, if we’re in the same building, I can help with Hailey more and make that a little easier on ya and get to know her- what do you think?” 

“Wow… um…” you swallowed as thoughts raced through your head, “No pressure. If you stay in New York, I can visit- maybe… maybe move back? I haven’t really thought about it, but I want to be in Hailey’s life.” Carmy sputtered. “Uh- yeah… yeah. Even if I get the job out here, I still have to go back to New York to put in my two-week notice and talk to my landlord and just- just a lot of stuff…” 

“I didn’t scare you off, did I?” Carmy awkwardly laughed, “No. I mean- we won’t get back together just because we have a kid. But I’m open to you being in Hailey’s life.” 

~~

“You’re fuckin’ crazy.” Richie coldly said as he helped carry boxes upstairs. Carmy rolled his eyes, opting to ignore him. “Carmen, are you even sure she’s your kid?” 

“Will you shut the fuck up? Hailey is my daughter. I don’t need a test to prove it.” Carmy defended as he dropped a box on the floor of your new apartment. You’d gotten the principal position and moved to Chicago. With help from Danny and Richie, today was the day you and Hailey were officially moving out of Danny’s guest room and into the two-bedroom apartment across the hall from Carmy’s place.

“You didn’t say the empty apartment was directly across the hall from you.” you laughed as you entered the apartment. You noticed the tension between Richie and Carmy; your arrival in Chicago surprised the Berzatto family. While you and Carmy were together, you’d never been formally introduced to any of his family. Natalie and Pete welcomed you with open arms. She was happy to be an aunt and to see Carmy happy. Richie and Donna, on the other hand, were apprehensive about your presence in Carmy’s life. 

Carmy shrugged. “It’s not a problem, is it?” He tried to be nonchalant and keep his flirty tone more subdued, but everyone saw through it. Richie rolled his eyes and went back out to the moving van.

“Carm.”

“I just wanna be close by, not the worst thing in the world.” Carmy defended himself. You shook your head and took a box into Hailey’s bedroom. Carmy watched you walk away, swallowing softly when his eyes landed on your butt. He shook his head and walked across the hall. He entered his apartment to see Suzie sitting on the floor with Hailey. 

“Hey.” Suzie smiled when she noticed Carmy standing by the door. Hailey looked up and happily squealed. You and Hailey had been in Chicago for a couple of weeks, and Carmy was really trying to see Hailey as often as he could.

Carmy sat on the floor by Suzie while Hailey pushed herself off the floor to sit on his lap. He smiled and hugged her loosely, saying, “Hi, baby girl.” Hailey cuddled into his chest, making his heart flutter. 

You’d finished wrangling the boxes and wandered out of your apartment and across the hall to Carmy’s. You were going to ask if he was hungry but stopped when you saw Carmy leaning against the couch, cradling a sleeping Hailey, “And then you blanch the greens- that’s when you boil or steam something and immediately dip it in ice water. Your Momma used to hate greens, so one day, I made her this recipe, and she said it was the most delicious thing she’d ever tasted.” 

“I think she’s asleep,” you commented as you approached the couch. Carmy looked up at you and smiled.

“She is… I just wanted to finish reading this recipe to her.” Carmy shrugged, placing the book on the coffee table. You sat next to Carmy on the floor and put your head on Carmy’s shoulder as you watched Hailey’s chest rise and fall. 

“Where’d Suzie go?” you asked, scooting closer to Carmy. You noticed him swallow nervously before explaining she had to go to work. “You’re good with her,” you commented, referring to how Carmy cradled Hailey protectively.

“You think so?” Carmy asked as he shifted his attention to you.

You nodded, “You’re a natural.” 

Carmy scoffed, “I wouldn’t say I’m a natural… I just wanna make up for lost time.” you nodded again and snaked an arm around Carmy’s waist. He tensed at the feeling and sat straighter.

“Well, you’re doin’ great.”

~~

“Daddy!” Hailey happily squealed as Carmy walked into your apartment that morning. He smiled and put the bag he’d been carrying on the counter as he closed the front door with his foot. 

“Hi, baby girl.” he leaned down to pick her up. Hailey hugged him tightly and started explaining a dream she’d had. Carmy smiled and bounced her on his hip. He listened contently as he went into the kitchen. You heard the commotion from your bedroom. You smiled as Carmy’s voice carried through your askew bedroom door. As you finished getting ready for work, you noticed the conversation between Hailey and Carmy. It had been about six months since you’d moved to Chicago, and Carmy was holding on to his promise to be involved in Hailey’s life. Watching your daughter fall in love with him was touching. He was so calm around her and interested in everything she said.

When you left your bedroom, you saw Carmy and Hailey sitting at the table. She was happily munching on a bowl of cereal, and Carmy sat back, drinking a cup of coffee. “Hey Carmy, hi sugar cookie.” you smiled as you leaned in to kiss Hailey’s cheek. She squealed, making you smile before kissing her other cheek.

“Daddy, kiss too!” Hailey demanded, pointing to Carmy. 

“You want Daddy to kiss your cheek, too?” you asked, resting your chin on her head. 

“No! Daddy kiss too!” Hailey demanded again, “Momma, kiss Daddy too!”

You looked at Carmy and saw a blush creeping up his cheeks. “Do you think Daddy wants a kiss, too?”  Hailey squealed and pointed at Carmy again. You nodded and kissed the top of her head before moving over to kiss his cheek. Hailey giggled and went back to eating her cereal. Carmy swallowed softly and quickly finished his coffee before abruptly standing up to rinse out his coffee cup. You waited a second before joining him in the kitchen. “Sorry, was that weird?”

Carmy shook his head, “No, it was okay, but… can Daddy have a real kiss sometime?” 

“I think that can be arranged.” you chimed nonchalantly. 

“Can Daddy take you out sometime?” 

“Only if you stop referring to yourself as Daddy.” you laughed as you playfully pushed his shoulder. 

“Deal.”

[fishfooddude]

Ooo if it’s okay (totally okay if not!) can I please request an angst to fluff Carmy x fem!reader where Y/n and Carmy had been engaged when he was in culinary school in New York, maybe she was going to a University then for elementary education or something, but they had broken up after Carmy got the news about his brother and went back to Chicago and they lost touch. Fast forward and Y/n is visiting Chicago and happens to walk into The Bear to eat (she didn’t know it was Carmy’s restaurant because the last time they talked, “The Bear” was “The Beef”) holding a little girl almost 2 years old who looks strikingly similar to Carmy. I’m sure he’d be upset that she didn’t tell him about her though, but they talk through everything (maybe Carm has gotten some therapy by this point😅)

Carmy getting to know his daughter and overtime rekindling his relationship and getting back together with Y/n?🥹

Second Chances

Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Reader

The Bear Master List

My Directory

“Carmen! Will you fuckin’ talk to me!” you yelled as you watched Carmy move across your shared bedroom.

“There’s nothin’ to fuckin’ talk about!” he yelled back, throwing clothes into his suitcase.

“Carm, you can’t just ‘move back to Chicago’! We’re engaged! I’m in school, and you haven’t even put in a two-week notice. We just renewed our fuckin’ lease!” you challenged, throwing your hands up exhaustedly. “Listen, I get it. Grief and mourning is hard-”

“Don’t. Don’t you fuckin’ dare.” Carmy said coldly, stopping in his tracks. You stepped back and watched Carmy push a hand through his hair, “Listen. Y/N. I need to do this. Come, don’t come. I honestly don’t fuckin’ care at this point.”

“You don’t care? Carmy… we’re engaged? We’re engaged, but don’t you care about me? About what I want? How do you-”

“Break up with me then.” Carmy cut you off. His words left you blindsided, and you stared at him as you let the emotions ruminate. 

“What?” 

“This is happening Y/N. I’m moving back to Chicago, and truthfully, I don’t care what you think or how this makes you feel. Mikey left me his restaurant, and I’m gonna make it good. Stay in New York, do whatever. I don’t care.” Carmy said scarily calmly as he zipped his bag. 

“Fuck you, Berzatto.” you scoffed as you tried to pry the engagement ring off of your finger. “I’ve known you for two fuckin’ years. You’ve talked to your sister, like, what, three times in the last two years? You’re brother even less- and now you’re throwing away our life to go run some shitty sandwich shop?”

“You don’t fuckin’ get it, Y/N! Okay. You don’t fuckin’ get it.” Carmy exacerbated as he grabbed his bag. “Just forget about me.”

~~~~

“Momma!” You heard your two-year-old's excited squeal from the other side of the AirBnB the two of you had been staying in. You groaned; it was 5 a.m. and entirely too early to wake up, but Hailey couldn’t tell time yet. As you got out of bed, you heard Hailey’s giggles intensifying. You laughed as you walked out of the bedroom and down the hall into the living room. Haliey had managed to get onto the window seat by the large bay window overlooking the busy Chicago street.

“Do you see a dog?” you cheerfully asked as you came up and lifted her onto your hip. Hailey nodded furiously and pointed across the street, where a man struggled to walk five large dogs. You smiled and bounced Haliey on your hip. “Just like at home, huh, sugar cookie? Chicago is a lot like New York.” Hailey giggled and rested her face on your collarbone, bringing her thumb to her mouth. “Okay, let’s get you some breakfast. Then we’ll get dressed. After that, you can watch some Bluey while Momma gets ready… then I’m gonna drop you off at Uncle Ryan’s house, and you two will have a super fun day- I heard he’s taking you to the zoo.” you explained, Hailey propped up at the mention of ‘the zoo’ which made you laugh. “Yeah, you and Uncle Ryan are gonna see lions, and tigers, and bears-”

“Oh my!” Haliey exactly squealed against her thumb. You laughed and sat her on the couch before going into the kitchen to make the two of you cereal bowls. “Momma!” 

“I’m comin’ Hailey. I’m comin’.” you ensured as you returned to the living room. You placed the bowls on the coffee table and grabbed your phone from your bag. “Okay… Hailey, I’m going to get this job. We are going to move to Chicago permanently… Mommas’ gonna have an amazing job, and you’re gonna be so so so happy.” you said more to reassure yourself as opposed to informing Hailey of your prospective job. “We’re gonna be okay.”

Hailey happily munched on her cereal and babbled on about some elaborate story she’d created while you nervously poked at your bowl. You watched her sandy brown bedhead-ridden hair bounce as she got more invested in telling you her story. Her stories were always the highlight of your day. Hailey was what kept you going when work was a pain in the ass or when everything was overwhelming. The way she lit up over things she loved, the way she laughed and smiled, her imagination… her eyes. The same dazzling blue of her father- you shook your head at the thought of him. 

Carmen “Carmy” Berzatto. James Beard award-winning chef with a highly decorated resume of some of the most prominent, four Michelin Star restaurants across the country- hell across the world. He not only gave up that to run a crappy sandwich shop, he also gave up your shared future. The night he left was one of the worst nights of your life. You almost failed your finals the following month, and then you found out you were pregnant. Finishing school, having Hailey, and doing internships was hard, but the work paid off. Today was the day you were interviewing to be the principal of one of Chicago's most elite private schools. Cushy benefits, a considerable pay bump, being closer to your brother and his long-term girlfriend… the only downside was the potential of running into Carmy. 

~~~

“Yo Y/N- over here!” Danny called, waving his hand to catch your attention just outside some fancy restaurant Suzie had managed to get a reservation at. You waved and saw Hailey smiling in your direction.

“Hey guys- there’s my baby!” you cooed, taking Hailey from his arms. She happily squealed and kicked her feet as you bounced her on your hip. “I missed you, sugar cookie.”

“How’d the interview go?” Suzie excitedly asked. You shrugged as you ran your thumb across Hailey’s cheek. Suzie nodded, “Well, they’d be stupid not to hire you. Com’on The Bear is one of the best new restaurants in the city, and I’ve been dying to try it.”

The four of you had a phenomenal meal, although there was something eerily similar about it. “I swear I’ve had this exact meal before.” you laughed.

Carmy was walking to the hostess stand when he heard your laughter. He stopped dead in his tracks and quickly scanned the dining room before his eyes landed on the back of your head. It had been years since he’d seen you, but your laugh was the dead giveaway he needed to identify you. Carmy turned his attention back to the hostess stand and passed off a clipboard. “Here…” he said before walking back to the kitchen. Before he entered, he looked back into the dining room and saw your side profile. He swallowed softly as he felt memories of the two of you rushing back to him. Carmy paused before quickly walking back into the kitchen and to his station. 

Carmy tried to distract himself for the rest of dinner service, but knowing you were on the other side of those swinging doors was enough to throw him off his game. “I’ll be right back,” he muttered in Syd’s direction before quickly walking into the back office before she could respond. As soon as he’d reached the office, he closed and locked the door behind himself before leaning back against the door and pushing his hands through his hair. “Name all the brown things…” he mumbled as he took a deep breath. Carmy looked around the office, “The couch… the desk…, and those shelves… fuckin’ Jason.” he scoffed, realizing the ‘anxiety tricks’ his therapist had taught him had been beneficial. After another deep breath, Carmy went to sit at his desk. He opened the top drawer to reveal a worn bubble mailer. He stared at it for a second before slamming the drawer closed. He couldn’t think about you right now; he needed to get back into the kitchen.

When he walked out of the kitchen again, he saw your party had left. Carmy cursed under his breath as he quickly walked toward the exit. You coming into his restaurant had to be a sign, right? He looked up and down the street, trying to find you. Panic began to creep up as he realized he may have been too late. “Holy shit… Carmy?” your voice made Carmy’s brain go blank as he turned to face you. He was awestruck by your presence and couldn’t manage to string two words together. “Carmy?” you asked again, laughing awkwardly. 

“He-ey-y bab- Y/N… hey Y/N.” Carmy corrected himself before shoving his hands in his pockets as he rocked on his heels. 

“Hey… what are you doin’ here?” 

“Oh uh- this,” Carmy started before awkwardly gesturing up to The Bear, “It’s my-my restaurant. It used to be The Beef- Mikey’s restaurant, but uhh, we remodeled…” he explained. You nodded and glanced at your watch, wondering where Danny was with the car. “So uh- what, what brought you to Chicago?” 

“Job interview- principal position at Ridgeview Conservatory.” 

“Wow, that’s fancy.” Carmy responded, “You in Chicago much longer?” 

“A couple more days… visiting my brother Danny and his girlfriend.”

“Do you wanna get coffee tomorrow afternoon?” Carmy blurted out, “It’s cool if you can’t- I just… this feels like a- like a sign. Ya know?” 

You nodded, “I-I uh... Yes. I can do that.”

“Cool, cool… there’s this place on 9th called Ginger Snap- wanna meet up at like 3:30?”

“Yeah, that sounds good… see you then?” you confirmed, finally noticing Danny pulling up to the curb, “Bye, Carm..” he nodded and watched you get into the backseat next to the car seat. You glanced down to see Hailey sleeping. You watched her momentarily before the weight of your decision to have coffee with Carmy finally hit you. “Are you workin’ tomorrow, Danny?” 

“Yeah, did you need me to watch Hails?” he eagerly asked as he drove toward your AirBnB. 

“It’s okay. I can just take her with me.” 

“You have another interview?” Suzie brought up, turning her head to face you. You shook your head and thought for a second.

“Just hangin’ out with a friend of mine.” you slyly responded, hoping Danny hadn’t seen you talking to Carmy. Suzie shot you a suspicious look before turning back in her seat. “I’m sure they’ll love to meet Hailey.”

~~

“Carmy. Ready for our appointment?” Jason called. Jason was a clean-cut man. He wasn’t anything special. Carmy couldn’t pick him out if he'd been in a lineup of men. The waiting room was posh, with muted pastel green walls and some simplistic nature art in simple black frames. After a year, Carmy still couldn’t determine whether they were trees or leaves. He got up from his chair and tossed his empty coffee cup in the trash before following the man into an office. Carmy watched him sit in a dark leather armchair before he sat on a grey couch across from him. “So. What’s new?”

“I’m getting with my ex-fiance in about an hour… that’s-that’s new. Um… I don’t know how I feel about that.” Carmy started leaning back on the couch as he folded his arms over his lap and nervously played with the side seam of his jeans. He looked up to meet Jason’s non-chantant face, “I told her to forget about me, and then a couple of months later, she mailed me her engagement ring… I keep it at my desk as like a reminder of everything I gave up for this freakin’ restaurant- and then she has dinner in my restaurant.” Carmy chuckled softly, “She had dinner at my restaurant on a night when I made one of her favorite dishes- that’s a sign, right? She came to Chicago for a job interview- she’s gonna nail it. She’s a fuckin’ genius… badass clinical social worker with an additional master’s degree in early childhood education. She was always at the top of her class, even when she was working and doing multiple internships. She dealt with me being an ass… I don’t know Jason. It feels like a sign, and I know we talked about coincidences like six months ago, and I don’t wanna get all God-y, but I feel like this is God bringing her back to me. Like-like, the world is this big massive black hole of a place, and my life has been filled with all this pain and shit, right? She was the only good thing I had; now she’s back. I could get her back.” Carmy finally took a breath, and Jason shifted in his seat and moved his pen between his fingers like he had done when he was in deep contemplation. 

“Do you remember your first goal when we started seeing each other?” 

Carmy thought momentarily before a laugh escaped his chest. “I said I wanted to feel in control of my life.” Jason nodded and shifted in his seat again. “I sound insane, don’t I? I left this woman high and dry. She doesn’t want me back, but I need to apologize for the last time we saw each other.”

“What if she doesn’t accept your apology? Do you think you can accept that?”

Carmy scoffed at the question, “There’s no way she’s going to accept my apology. I think I can accept that… but can you concede it was, in fact, a sign that all of this is happening right now, right?”

“I believe in coincidences. I want you to tell me the worst-case scenario, the best-case scenario, and the most realistic scenario of what this meeting will result in.” Jason calmly asked while he maintained eye contact with Carmy.

“Okay…” Carmy nodded as he thought for a moment. “Worst case scenario, she either doesn’t show up, or she does show up and makes a scene tellin’ me what a d-bag I am- granted, she wouldn’t use that language. She’d say something WAY harsher, which is one of the many things I love- loved about her. She always spoke her mind… best case scenario, we get coffee. While we’re drinking our coffee, she tells me she’s moving to Chicago, and I ask her out, and we get back together.”

“Idealistic. I like that. What’s the most realistic?” Jason asked with a chuckle.

“We get coffee, we talk. She decides she doesn’t hate me for leaving her, and I don’t know beyond that…” Carmy answered truthfully.

~~

“This is a mistake…” you mumbled to yourself as you adjusted Hailey on your lap. Gingersnap Coffee was a small coffee shop. It was cute, definitely a place Carmy and you would’ve gone to when you two were together in New York. You sighed and went back to watching the door as Hailey flopped her giraffe toy on the table. 

Carmy arrived at the coffee shop on the dot at 3:30. He saw you sitting at the back table and felt a surge of energy overcome him. The two of you made eye contact; Carmy grinned as he approached the table. You stood up awkwardly, resulting in Haliey pausing her giraffe story, “Hey,” you smiled weakly, immediately regretting the fact you brought Hailey. Carmy was about to greet you when Hailey curiously looked up at him. He glanced down at the little girl and felt his heart stop. 

Carmy stared at Hailey. She smiled at him and pushed her giraffe toy in his direction. Unsure of what to do, he looked at you, then back at Hailey, then at you again before finally sputtering, “Yo-you have a kid?” 

You nodded slowly and gestured for him to sit down. Carmy hesitated, but after you sat down, he followed suit. Carmy stared at Hailey. “I shoulda told you.” you passively excused.

“W-wait…” Carmy started, “She’s… is she?”

You nodded at Carmy’s implication, “I can explain-”

Carmy shook his head, “You had my baby and didn’t tell me? Were you ever going to tell me?” 

“You left me,” you said in a hushed, blunt tone, “Carm, you told me to forget about you. I gave you the ring back. I blocked your number. I was trying to forget about you- then I found out I was pregnant. I hadn’t talked to you in weeks, and I figured if you could so easily throw away our engagement-”

“No.” Carmy spoke sternly, “If I knew you were pregnant, I woulda done the right thing.”

The two of you sat in a tense silence interrupted by Hailey sneezing multiple times, “Bess you!” she giggled, making you laugh as you dug a tissue out of your purse to wipe her nose. Carmy leaned back and watched the scene before him, realizing he’d missed two years of her life. “Tank you Momma.” 

Carmy wrung his hands out under the table and nervously glanced at the decorative clock on the wall adjacent to the table the three of you had occupied. “Do you wanna hold her?” your question surprised Carmy. He thought briefly before slowly nodding, “Okay… so Hailey, this is one of Mommy’s friends?” you stopped yourself and sighed. “That’s a lie… this is your Dad…” 

Dad. Camy felt like his chest would explode as you spoke to Hailey. The word echoed in his head as he accepted Hailey in his arms. She looked up at him with curious eyes. “Hi,” she softly greeted him as she reached up to touch Carmy’s face. He smiled at her.

“Hi,” Carmy repeated softly, “Is-is that- do… do you like giraffes?” 

~~

You were supposed to go back to New York the day after tomorrow; you stared up at the ceiling that night. As tired as you were, you couldn’t turn your brain off. Guilt, shame, regret… you should’ve told Carmy you were pregnant. What did he even mean by ‘do the right thing’? Would he have abandoned Mikey’s restaurant and come back to New York? Would the two of you gotten back together? Hailey’s life would’ve been so different if he’d been there from the start. You sighed, reached for your phone from the side table, and quickly scrolled to Carmy’s contact. You paused for a moment; it was almost 2 in the morning. You knew he was probably still awake.

“Hey- you okay?” Carmy answered on the first ring. “Yeah- can’t sleep… I’m due back in New York… I don’t know if I got the principal job… what do we do?” your voice quivered as you softly spoke into the phone. “I don’t know… I know I’ve only met Hailey once, but I love her. I can’t walk away from her.” 

“Are you watching that Italian grandma cooking show?” Carmy chuckled at your question, “Yeah… can’t sleep.” the line was quiet momentarily, “Hailey and I used to watch it when she was colic.” 

“She’s my kid.” Carmy chuckled. You nodded, knowing he couldn’t see you through the phone. You rolled onto your side and watched Hailey sleep. She was sprawled out, taking up most of the bed with her little body. “If I get this job and move out here permanently, do you want to do a shared custody thing? I guess it could start with the three of us, and then you can have more individual time with her…”

“Are you seeing anyone?” Carmy asked, ignoring the custody question entirely. “What do you think? I’m workin’ two jobs and have a two-year-old.” you laughed. Carmy smiled and pushed a hand through his hair, “Okay… guess I just wanted to know if- I know you probably don’t wanna get back together, but I don’t know… I was talkin’ to my therapist earlier. He gave some perspective- I wasn’t the man you deserved. I treated you like fuckin’ shit, and I’ve spent the last two years of my life trying to forget about you and move on with my life and create something Mikey would be proud of… I regret how we ended and hate myself for not being involved in Hailey’s life. When I was holding her and-and she was tellin’ that story about her giraffe… I can’t go back to not being in her life.” Carmy admitted. “Uh- if you get that job and move out here, there’s an empty two-bedroom in my building. This isn’t me sayin’ we should move in together or anything, but um, if we’re in the same building, I can help with Hailey more and make that a little easier on ya and get to know her- what do you think?” 

“Wow… um…” you swallowed as thoughts raced through your head, “No pressure. If you stay in New York, I can visit- maybe… maybe move back? I haven’t really thought about it, but I want to be in Hailey’s life.” Carmy sputtered. “Uh- yeah… yeah. Even if I get the job out here, I still have to go back to New York to put in my two-week notice and talk to my landlord and just- just a lot of stuff…” 

“I didn’t scare you off, did I?” Carmy awkwardly laughed, “No. I mean- we won’t get back together just because we have a kid. But I’m open to you being in Hailey’s life.” 

~~

“You’re fuckin’ crazy.” Richie coldly said as he helped carry boxes upstairs. Carmy rolled his eyes, opting to ignore him. “Carmen, are you even sure she’s your kid?” 

“Will you shut the fuck up? Hailey is my daughter. I don’t need a test to prove it.” Carmy defended as he dropped a box on the floor of your new apartment. You’d gotten the principal position and moved to Chicago. With help from Danny and Richie, today was the day you and Hailey were officially moving out of Danny’s guest room and into the two-bedroom apartment across the hall from Carmy’s place.

“You didn’t say the empty apartment was directly across the hall from you.” you laughed as you entered the apartment. You noticed the tension between Richie and Carmy; your arrival in Chicago surprised the Berzatto family. While you and Carmy were together, you’d never been formally introduced to any of his family. Natalie and Pete welcomed you with open arms. She was happy to be an aunt and to see Carmy happy. Richie and Donna, on the other hand, were apprehensive about your presence in Carmy’s life. 

Carmy shrugged. “It’s not a problem, is it?” He tried to be nonchalant and keep his flirty tone more subdued, but everyone saw through it. Richie rolled his eyes and went back out to the moving van.

“Carm.”

“I just wanna be close by, not the worst thing in the world.” Carmy defended himself. You shook your head and took a box into Hailey’s bedroom. Carmy watched you walk away, swallowing softly when his eyes landed on your butt. He shook his head and walked across the hall. He entered his apartment to see Suzie sitting on the floor with Hailey. 

“Hey.” Suzie smiled when she noticed Carmy standing by the door. Hailey looked up and happily squealed. You and Hailey had been in Chicago for a couple of weeks, and Carmy was really trying to see Hailey as often as he could.

Carmy sat on the floor by Suzie while Hailey pushed herself off the floor to sit on his lap. He smiled and hugged her loosely, saying, “Hi, baby girl.” Hailey cuddled into his chest, making his heart flutter. 

You’d finished wrangling the boxes and wandered out of your apartment and across the hall to Carmy’s. You were going to ask if he was hungry but stopped when you saw Carmy leaning against the couch, cradling a sleeping Hailey, “And then you blanch the greens- that’s when you boil or steam something and immediately dip it in ice water. Your Momma used to hate greens, so one day, I made her this recipe, and she said it was the most delicious thing she’d ever tasted.” 

“I think she’s asleep,” you commented as you approached the couch. Carmy looked up at you and smiled.

“She is… I just wanted to finish reading this recipe to her.” Carmy shrugged, placing the book on the coffee table. You sat next to Carmy on the floor and put your head on Carmy’s shoulder as you watched Hailey’s chest rise and fall. 

“Where’d Suzie go?” you asked, scooting closer to Carmy. You noticed him swallow nervously before explaining she had to go to work. “You’re good with her,” you commented, referring to how Carmy cradled Hailey protectively.

“You think so?” Carmy asked as he shifted his attention to you.

You nodded, “You’re a natural.” 

Carmy scoffed, “I wouldn’t say I’m a natural… I just wanna make up for lost time.” you nodded again and snaked an arm around Carmy’s waist. He tensed at the feeling and sat straighter.

“Well, you’re doin’ great.”

~~

“Daddy!” Hailey happily squealed as Carmy walked into your apartment that morning. He smiled and put the bag he’d been carrying on the counter as he closed the front door with his foot. 

“Hi, baby girl.” he leaned down to pick her up. Hailey hugged him tightly and started explaining a dream she’d had. Carmy smiled and bounced her on his hip. He listened contently as he went into the kitchen. You heard the commotion from your bedroom. You smiled as Carmy’s voice carried through your askew bedroom door. As you finished getting ready for work, you noticed the conversation between Hailey and Carmy. It had been about six months since you’d moved to Chicago, and Carmy was holding on to his promise to be involved in Hailey’s life. Watching your daughter fall in love with him was touching. He was so calm around her and interested in everything she said.

When you left your bedroom, you saw Carmy and Hailey sitting at the table. She was happily munching on a bowl of cereal, and Carmy sat back, drinking a cup of coffee. “Hey Carmy, hi sugar cookie.” you smiled as you leaned in to kiss Hailey’s cheek. She squealed, making you smile before kissing her other cheek.

“Daddy, kiss too!” Hailey demanded, pointing to Carmy. 

“You want Daddy to kiss your cheek, too?” you asked, resting your chin on her head. 

“No! Daddy kiss too!” Hailey demanded again, “Momma, kiss Daddy too!”

You looked at Carmy and saw a blush creeping up his cheeks. “Do you think Daddy wants a kiss, too?”  Hailey squealed and pointed at Carmy again. You nodded and kissed the top of her head before moving over to kiss his cheek. Hailey giggled and went back to eating her cereal. Carmy swallowed softly and quickly finished his coffee before abruptly standing up to rinse out his coffee cup. You waited a second before joining him in the kitchen. “Sorry, was that weird?”

Carmy shook his head, “No, it was okay, but… can Daddy have a real kiss sometime?” 

“I think that can be arranged.” you chimed nonchalantly. 

“Can Daddy take you out sometime?” 

“Only if you stop referring to yourself as Daddy.” you laughed as you playfully pushed his shoulder. 

“Deal.”

[fishfooddude]

I've been working on a Carmy request and I'm realizing I just don't know how to write short stuff anymore. I'm only like 1/3 of the way through my outline and at like 4 pages.

[fishfooddude]

I have so many WIPs but no desire to write.

[fishfooddude]

Ho Ho Ho-lidays

Lip Gallagher x Reader

We love a Christmas party- also, how obvious is it that I've never been in a frat house?

Shameless MasterList

Directory

“Are you still mad at me?” your roommate asked as you walked back into your dorm. You shook your head and dropped your bag on the floor by your bed before face-planting into the mattress. 

“You were right, and I have egg on my face.” you sighed before burring your face deeper into your assortment of squishmallows. You heard her muffled apology as you lost yourself in your thoughts. Lip was having sex with some older woman mere moments before the two of you were going to hang out. You weren’t sure if the two of you were going to have sex that night, but the idea of him touching you with his dirty hands or, even worse, his dirty penis… you spent your Thanksgiving vacation questioning whether you were intelligent enough to be in college. 

There were only two weeks left of the semester before winter break, and you couldn’t wait. The first day back on campus, you felt Lip staring at you for the entirety of Youen’s lecture. “Okay. That’s what’s goin’ be on the final next week,” he said to the class before stumbling over to his desk. You tried to get out of the lecture hall before Lip could come up to talk to you, but unfortunately, he was faster.

“Hey, Y/N-” he said as he caught up to you in the hallway.

“Lip, I’m busy,” you said, cutting him off. Lip rolled his eyes and touched your shoulder before gently pulling you back. 

“Hey. I’m not with her anymore,” he said, cutting to the point of what he wanted to say. “Gimmie a shot.” You shook your head and pushed his hand off of your shoulder before turning to walk away. “Y/N!” he called after you. Silently, you lifted your arm in the air and flipped him off. Lip exhaled slowly as he watched you walk out of the building. 

~

“Come to the Christmas party. It’ll be fun, and you need some fun.”

You scoffed at your roommate's acquisition, “Last time I went to one of your sorority parties, I ended up getting my feelings hurt- I’m good.” 

“Y/N. It’ll be fun. We just finished some of the most objectively hard final exams of our college careers. You’ve been pissed at me, let’s go drink some very spiked egg nog and get you a new guy.”

You rolled your eyes and closed your laptop, “I have nothing to wear, and I’m going home tomorrow. Can’t be around my parents hung over.”

“Y/N. Borrow my red dress, put on some glittery eyeshadow, and come with me- we’ll tongue some drunken frat boys under the mistletoe, and you’ll get that Southside white trash man whore out of your head.” 

“Fine…” you said, finally giving up. You closed your laptop and set it on the floor before sitting up in bed. You saw your roommate smile in satisfaction before throwing you a short red dress with glittery straps. “This is kinda cute…” 

“And you have heels that would look oh so cute with it.” 

You rolled your eyes and quickly got ready as she finished doing her hair for the evening. The two of you walked out of your dorm building and across campus, the Chicago winter chill putting a pep in your step. The frat house was a mess. There was a pair of boys outside puking in the snow-covered bushes. As the two of you walked inside, you realized the inside was worse. The sound of Christmas music turned shitty rap had the walls almost vibrating. The smell of cheap beer and tequila hit your nose, and you noticed the large green, white, and red ornaments crudely sprawled across the walls as you followed your roommate to the kitchen. The inflatable Santa above the drink cooler was a nice touch, though. You laughed as you grabbed a drink and watched as your roommate went toward the back of the house, presumably to talk to one of her sorority sisters or something. You sighed and opened your drink before wandering from the kitchen to the living room. 

“Didn’t expect to see you here.” a cheerful voice came from behind you. You turned on your heel to see one of the random guys from your bio-chem class. You greeted him, and he went into talking about his plans over winter break. The conversation grew boring quickly, and you felt yourself looking for an out.

“There you are.” Lip quipped, wrapping an arm around your waist, “You can go now.” he said to your classmate. The guy looked between you and nodded before backing away from the conversation. You looked up at Lip, eyebrows furrowed together.

“You can stop touching me at any point,” you scoffed. Lip grinned and pulled you away from the crowd. “Lip, what do you even want?”

“Just talk to me.” he rolled his eyes and led you to a quiet part of the frat house. You sighed and leaned against the wall as Lip’s arm fell. “Y/N, I like you, okay?” he spoke softly for only you to hear as he lovingly looked at you. “I get it. You think I’m shit or whatever, but I just want a chance.”

“Lip… I’m a relationship girl. Okay?” you started as you pushed your hair behind your ear, “I don’t love casual sex. I like having a boyfriend. I want someone I can study with, hang out with, and listen to music with. I want someone to go to the movies with or introduce to my friends or family. I want to date with the intention of getting married one day. I want someone I can buy a house with and have kids with. I don’t tolerate cheating or lying. I-I-” Lip cut off your speech with a passionate kiss, where he gently pushed his tongue into your mouth. You were taken aback by the sudden action but kissed him back.

Lip ended the kisses, leaving you speechless, “We were under the mistletoe.” he chuckled. You rolled your eyes and shoved his shoulder, trying to move past him, “Hey, hey, hey.” Lip laughed as he pulled you flush against his chest. “I can’t promise I’ll be a good boyfriend- I’m not a relationship guy, but I wanna try for you. So please, Y/N, give me a shot.”

[fishfooddude]

When I think Christmas Carmy my brain immediately goes to girl dad Carmy.

I can see him decorating cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve. The little ones are more interested in eating the frosting and make some kinda gross neon green color frosting accidentally so the Christmas trees look radioactive.

You convince Carmy that the girls need a swingset and a Barbie dream house as their big presents, of course Carmy being Carmy forgot to assemble them. It's almost 2 am and Carmy is putting tiny stickers on the walls of the house so it'll be ready to go Christmas morning. He has a cigarette hanging between his lips as he struggles to screw tiny screws into their proper place.

The two of you are awoken by excited squeals and Carmy insists on making a special breakfast feast for his girls. He might be exhausted but he wants his girls to have the happy experiences he never had.

Anyone have any cute Christmas thoughts about Carmy? I rlly have the urge to heal his Christmas trauma

[fishfooddude]

I know I shouldn't feel guilty about quitting a job but my bosses got everyone multiple Christmas presents and Starbucks.