#i look like a 5 year old and a grandma at the same time

[abby-howard]

Spoons going apeshit over my haircut

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

I just looked at the price on the back of a book I’ve had for a bit over a decade and it was four. fucking. dollars. Just four with no taxes. No extra 97cents or something before taxes. Just a round number that you would add taxes to.

I googled the price of a new edition and it was almost thirteen! Not an even thirteen, it was like 12.96 or something. Close enough that it’s basically thirteen but if you’re adding multiple items together to try and get the price on a purchase with more items it would add more confusion.

[theygender]

What are you talking about. Exactly zero of these things are essentials

[shjsnjkj]

MY SUMMER LOVE┊ p.sh

kinktober day 5! - masterlist

warnings: smut, MDNI, unprotected sex, making out, pussy eating, nicknames, crying

genre: smut

taglist: @blackp1nkfan @mitmit01 @pasteltheghost16 @harukayoiiiiiiizzz @mlywon @lhspeachie @seraphira @kaykay11sworld @winuvs @yuniesluv @shhth @rizzki09 @mylettterstoyou @d-dilemma @moonpri @blushbunini

wc: 2,8k ✧.*

☆ sunghoon x reader ; It was August 31st, and you were heading back home tomorrow because of school. Unfortunately, sleep didn't come easily. Your mind kept replaying all the memories you had with Sunghoon this summer, except for one. The one you'll be making tonight with the help of his camera. “Fly through the deep night to you. In the thick darkness, I will hold you again”

After all that time at university, you were finally ready to travel somewhere. Somewhere you could unwind and leave all your stress from the past few months behind. You considered traveling to a new city or even a country, which seemed like a great idea. However, you didn't have anyone to travel with because your friends had other commitments during the summer. That's when you saw your grandparents coming in sight. You don't get to see them often since they live far away, but you figured it was time for a visit. After all, you went to Hawaii when you were just 10 years old. You really missed your grandparents, but video calling was a great way to keep in touch with them.

That night, you discussed the idea with your parents and purchased the tickets for yourself. In less than a week, you had packed everything you needed into two suitcases and one bag. You brought at least five bikinis and planned to buy more when you got to your destination. You pictured yourself going to the beach every day, making new friends, learning new dances, putting flowers in your hair, drinking coconut water, and doing other fun things. This was all you could think about while you were on the plane.

When you arrived, you first met your grandmother and then your grandfather, who walked behind your grandmother with a beautiful flower lei. They were more than happy to meet you. You received many compliments and hugs from them, which made you happier than ever.

On the ride home, you rolled down the car windows and put your hands out to feel the air hit your fingers and blow your hair. The first surprise to you was the house where your grandparents parked. You didn't understand where you were. You remembered that there was a normal, cute white house with a balcony and a garden in the back, but this house was almost the opposite. At the entrance, it was kind of the same, but there were trees in front of it, so you couldn't see much from the house. When you walked in, you were shocked. The house was huge! Everything was much bigger than before, there was even a pool in the backyard, not to mention the ocean view right behind it. Your bedroom also had a window overlooking the ocean, so you could admire it every time you were there. Your grandmother bought you some bikinis, straw hats and dresses. They were so pretty and you couldn't wait to wear them while you stayed here.

The other day, just before you sat down to eat, a sudden ringing of the bell interrupted you as you were putting the food on the table. Your grandmother went to see who it was, and you continued your task.

"Grandma, who was that?" -when you looked up, she wasn't alone; a boy was standing next to her.

Your eyes widened for a moment at how handsome he was. Jet black hair and deep brown eyes. He was quite tall and slim, yet muscular. You didn't want to be weird, so you looked away. You assumed he was just some neighbor's son asking for something, but your grandmother proved you wrong.

"Y/n do you remember Sunghoon?" -she asked in a soft voice.

"Uhmm, yeah? The boy who was my best friend when I was little, right?"

"Yes, oh you remember. That's good to hear, Y/n" -she became so happy.

"But why are you asking me this now, when we have a guest? What's up with him? Is he doing well?" -you put the silverware next to the plates.

"Why don't you ask him?"

"Come on Grandma, I haven't seen him for ages and I don't even know where he lives anymore. How could I ask him anything?" -A long silence remained between the two of you, and you realized that you could be so stupid to say such things when Park Sunghoon himself stood right in front of you.

"Oh..." -all words stuck in your mouth.

"It's good to see you again Y/n! I missed you a lot!" -he stepped forward and gave you a big hug.

"Oh...Sunghoon...yeah it's nice to see you too!" -you hugged him back, still processing who you had just met.

Sunghoon was your best friend. Or is he still yours? You were not sure.

He, you and your 3 other friends formed a group of friends when you were little. There was nothing to do in the summer and your parents always worked, so you came here every summer and met these amazing people. Unfortunately, your friends moved to another country and you lost touch because you were little, but Sunghoon stayed and the last summer you were here in Hawaii, it was just the two of you, just like now.

He didn't stay for lunch, even though your grandmother tried to convince him, but it might be a good choice. It would be a lot for you at first. Still, you were so curious about Sunghoon. What happened to him over the years, how is he doing, does he have a girlfriend, what's up with his family and things like that. Wait, why did you care if he had a girlfriend?! Anyway, you went out to think about your feelings, accompanied by a tasty strawberry mocktail. You sat there for hours until you fell asleep and the only thing on your mind was Sunghoon.

The next day, you woke up in your room. Out of nowhere, you got up and went to your window to look at the sea, just in time for the sunrise. You were amazed by the beautiful sight when someone came into your sight. You immediately recognized that it was him, Sunghoon. He was sitting on the sand watching the sunrise just like you. Thinking that there was no reason to wait any longer, you wanted to talk to him and decided to go outside. You changed into your white bikini and wore a long white dress over it. You brushed your hair and did your morning routine in the bathroom. Then, as quietly as possible, you went out of the house and looked for Sunghoon. He was still sitting on the sand, wearing a white t-shirt and black pants. He was so good-looking you forgot that and also how much you loved him. You pushed your thoughts away and sat down next to him. He looked at you and smiled softly, then turned his gaze back to the sky.

After a few minutes, he finally began to talk to you. The two of you forgot about time and sat there until lunch. That day, he had lunch with you and was still talking about what had happened in the past years. You couldn't even remember the last time you felt this happy and free, but you knew that this feeling was everything to you and you didn't want it to end.

2 days later, Sunghoon asked you to go swimming in the late afternoon and you agreed. It was so much fun, you joked a lot and dived into the water where you saw beautiful fish and plants. As time passed, you felt more and more attracted to him. Sometimes you went out for dinner, coffee, and there were nights when you went out dancing hula and other dances. Some days you went swimming in the morning and some days you went swimming at night. You felt that Sunghoon must feel the same way because he showed you signs. Every other day, he would bring you a flower to put in your hair, making you blush every time. He took care of you and always brought happiness and a smile to your face.

One night when you went swimming, the two of you became closer. He kissed you for the first time. To be honest, you have been waiting for this moment since you were little and it finally happened. Sunghoon admitted that he felt the same and was ready to take steps towards you, but you stopped to come here. Yes, it was painful for both of you to bury your feelings in your hearts. But it was over and you were free to live your love lives this time. Your grandparents were incredibly happy for you both. They always knew how much you loved each other from the beginning, and they often invited him over for dinner, a day at the pool, or just to be with you. After a month, Sunghoon started sneaking into your room and spending the night with you. Those nights were your favorite because the way he made you feel had the power to make the whole world stand still for you.

All the love you had for each other, you couldn't describe what it did to your heart. And now it was the opposite of what you felt all these months. You just cried at the dinner table and felt that your heart was breaking because you knew that tomorrow morning Sunghoon wouldn't hold you in his arms, you wouldn't go swimming anymore, you wouldn't watch the sunrise anymore, you wouldn't see the lust in his eyes for you, you wouldn't be able to kiss his red lips anymore. At least for a year. It can be easy for someone, but not for you, you hated the idea of spending the days apart and you weren't ready for tomorrow.

Your grandparents tried to comfort you, but the tears didn't stop pouring from your eyes. The best idea was to go to sleep, but the moment you saw your suitcases ready to travel back to your hometown, it started again. Slowly you lay down on your bed and stared at the ceiling for hours because sleep didn't come easily. To be honest, you didn't even want to sleep because tomorrow would come faster and you didn't want that.

Before midnight, you heard your window open. It was Sunghoon.

"My love" - he said

"Sunghoon, what are you doing here?" -you ran to him and hugged him as tightly as ever.

"I know we talked about meeting tomorrow before you go back, but I couldn't be without you tonight Y/n" -he kissed your cheek.

"Do you know how much I cried today? I can't lose you Sunghoon" -tears started to form in your eyes for the nth time tonight.

"Baby, don't cry. It will only get worse. Look, I brought a camera for tonight."

"A camera?"

"Yeah, I was thinking about making a recording tonight. How do you feel about that?"

"How could we forget? That is a perfect idea baby. Let's do it." -you kissed him.

The next second, he put the camera down and started recording while you closed your door.

You kissed Sunghoon hungrily and he returned the kiss. You sucked on his tongue while his hands roamed all over your hot body. Goose bumps formed on your skin as his hands passed over every part of you. Soft moans left your mouth between wet kisses. He moved his left hand under your thigh and lifted your leg a little. You knew what he was going to do so you jumped and crossed your legs on his waist. He moved over to your bed and gently laid you down on the mattress. His kisses went from your lips to your jaw to your neck. You felt a little pain, but it was a good kind of pain. You assumed he was marking you and it made you feel even more lustful. His fangs would certainly leave deeper marks on you, but in no time his fingers traced the inside of your thigh. Sunghoon touched the hem of your dress and pulled your nightgown all the way up over your head. Revealing your already hardened nipples, he only reacted with a smile. He went back to your lower part, surprising you with his finger pressing against your clit over the fabric. "You're already so wet, baby. Let me make you feel better." He gave you a kiss on the lips before pulling off your white panties, which were a little stuck to your folds from the wetness. "You're so beautiful, sweetheart," he whispered before kissing your pussy as he grabbed your waist to keep you still. You felt his tongue doing all the tricks down there, making you tremble and scream inside for his touch. You closed your eyes and soon you felt Sunghoon put two fingers inside your pussy. Slowly he moves them in and out, making you see just starting from this. He watched your every move, all the sounds you made and he couldn't wait to hear your screams. To kiss you while you moan so loudly from the pleasure he gives to you. Sunghoon couldn't wait any longer and stripped off all his clothes. He positioned himself at your entrance and kissed you deeply the moment he pushed himself inside you.

Your folds take him so well that you have to cry out from pleasure. Making Sunghoon's wishes come true. "Don't hold back your beautiful voices Y/n" and right after that you let out a loud moan, hoping that your grandparents are asleep and don't hear anything from your room. Sunghoon just pushed himself deeper and deeper into you with a grin on his bitten lips.

"Sunghoon...mhhm"

"Tell me baby what you want"

"Please..." -you couldn't form a word anymore, just mewing nonstop.

The sounds of your skin, the kisses, the shallow breathing heightened all your senses. You buried your head in the pillows and felt like you were going to cum any second.

"Ahh.. Y/n. You feel so good." -He rolled back his eyes.

A few more thrusts and you came at the same time. His release filled you completely and as he pulled down he was covered with your white release as well. Sunghoon's muscles flexed and he collapsed next to you, sweat dripping from his face. Loud breaths filled the heated room and you could feel the cold night wind on your naked bodies. But it didn't matter, because after you had cleaned up, you were safe and sound in your lover's arms. You felt his breath on your shoulder and his heartbeat on your body. You didn't want this to be over, so you looked at Sunghoon for a few minutes after he fell asleep, capturing this moment in your mind forever.

You woke up early since it was time to go to the airport. Sunghoon was still in your bed but he was up as well. You went down to have a quick breakfast which your grandma made for you, and after he noticed Sunghoon he made another serving for him as well. Your suitcases were in the car and it was time to go. Still, you and Sunghoon were sitting on the sofa, watching the ocean view while making out.

As slowly as possible, you reached the car and Sunghoon gave you a gift bag which he insisted you open when you arrived home.

“My one and only love, please don’t cry too much. I’ll wait for you as much as it takes. I would wait for you until the end of the time because my heart belongs to you forever. Please smile a lot and call me everytime you want, I’ll be here for you Y/n! I’ll love you until the day that I die. Even after that I’ll love you. Here’s a flower for today as well” -he put the pink hibiscus in your hair. The same one he gave to you the first time- “You are the most beautiful human being in my eyes, take care, until we meet again.” -he held your hands and kissed you deeply.

“Sunghoon…” -you touched the flower and started to cry- “Thank you so much for everything, I’ll be back before you know it because life without you will be misery. I love you with all my heart until the end of time. I’ll always love you Park Sunghoon” -you pulled him in for another kiss and then waved him goodbye from the car. The two of you held back your tears but after you drove away you both broke down. You cried as much as you could until you got on your plane and he went back to work.

After a long flight and car ride, you were finally in your room. You put the flower from your hair into a glass box and then checked your messages. Of course, Sunghoon had already sent a lot of messages, but your eyes stayed on the video notification. You knew what was in the video and you couldn't wait to watch it. Before you opened it, you remembered what Sunghoon asked you to do. Open the gift.

Fighting back tears, you opened it. There was a T-shirt sprayed with his perfume, a white plush bunny, and a letter. You didn't hesitate to open it, only to find a ticket from Hawaii to your city with Park Sunghoon's name on it.

[just-some-random-blogger]

Accidental Targ

Scene II: he kinda looks like my ex boyfriend | Masterlist

Daemon Targaryen x Modern!Reader

Summary: After coming to terms with the fact you were in King's Landing some two thousand years before your birth, you get reunited with your friend and try to manifest your way back to the present. For the meantime, Harwin Strong is your bodyguard.

Word Count: 5k+

Warnings: fem!reader, time travel au, descriptions of reader's hair, incestuous gremlin!daemon, generally gross!daemon, harwin 'big daddy' strong, crackfic, typos, etc.

A/N: Following the events of our mighty poll 😁😁😁😁 im excited to say what won was was always my intention and im glad you lovely readers have synced with me on it BWHWAHA sorrows sorrows prayers

"Fucking Seven," I sigh and gather my thick skirts, running up to the blue haired girl. The servant who escorted her promptly curtsies then walks away. I release the fabrics to grasp her face. I sigh in relief, "thank the gods you're here, Libby."

"What the fuck are you wearing?" she asks groggily, eyeing my dress.

I shake my head, "fuck, shit, I mean Lilibet."

"And how did you braid your hai-" Libby speaks the same time as me before freezing and raising a finger, "fuck you."

I growl and grab her hand, "no, no, no. Listen to me," I push her hand down, "you remember running through that damned arch?"

Libby wrangles out of my clutch and rather exasperatedly glares at me, "what?"

I release a shudder then grab her face again, "listen to me, Libby!" I sigh, "remember that stupid urban legend?"

Libby's face contorts as she groans. She pushes my hands off her à la 5-year-old tantrum; her blue hair, in turn, flies to her face.

"We crossed that arch," I grab her arms, "and now we're in fucking first century Westeros, Libby," I hiss, pulling her to the bed, "which is why I have to call you Lilibet-"

"Fuck you."

"-and you have to change and cover your hair," I release her to grab the clothing on the sheets, shoving them into her chest.

"What ABOUT my hair!"

I shake my head, "it's a dead giveaw-"

"You're closer to dead. You look like a fucking grandma and you have problems with my hair?!" Libby throws the clothes back on the bed, "listen, I know I got wasted and shit, and I'm sorry, but if you want me to cosplay as a peasant, just say that and get me coffee, please-"

"LIBBY!"

Libby's ear's ring, "bitch, the fu-"

"THERE IS NO COFFEE!" I grab her arms and shake her, "we're being held hostage by Daemon Targaryen and this hair," I manically point to my head, "is our fucking lifeline!"

Libby's face pinches, the initial grogginess in her expression is expelled, "Ok, calm your tits, YN-wannabe. I told you reading fics of him would fuck with your head. Imagine reading fics about King fucking Charles-"

"IT'S NOT THE SAME!"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S NOT THE SAME?! IT'S FUCKING WORS-"

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT, LIBBY!"

"HE'S THE COLONIZER OF COLONIZERS!"

"IT'S NOT A FANFIC!" I pinch my fingers together, "THIS IS NOT A FANFIC! I AM telling you we fucking crossed that arch and now we're FUCKING-"

My words cease when a creaking sound of the heavy door fills the room. The both of us turn to the door as it opens. My heart begin to race.

Lo and behold, Daemon Targaryen walks in, one hand on his hilt, eyes looking us both up and down. Libby shifts in her spot as Daemon approaches. Her demeanor immediately changes when she sees him. She straightens up and pushes her hair back, dusting off her hot pink top. Aint no way.

"Do I look good?" Libby mutters to me before Daemon is in front of us. My eyes blow wide and my jaw slacks. Be so fucking for real. She fixes her radioactive blue hair and my upper lip curls in disgust and annoyance.

Libby and Daemon lock gazes; the former smirks, "hey, cutie pie."

I slap my hand to my face. The sound reverberates in the room.

"What is a cutie pie?" Daemon asks stoically.

Libby leans on one leg, "you."

"Seven fucking hells," I quip, roughly dragging my palm down my skin.

Daemon turns to me before tilting his head. He mirrors Libby's stance and his lips faintly curve upward, "in this era, girl, pies are food. What would I have in common with a type of pie?"

Libby lets out an airy chuckle, "you ren fair boys really like roleplay, huh?"

Daemon raises a brow, "I assure you, nothing about me is boyish."

Libby bites her lip and claws the air, "rawr."

I am unable to mask the sound I make. Daemon pulls his head back at Libby's actions.

I grit my teeth and grab her arm; she shakes me off, making sure to giggle as she does this. Daemon chuckles as he turns to me, "I see why you are keen on keeping her."

"You can keep me if you like," she blurts, stepping in front of me to garner his attention. Daemon steps back.

I grab Libby's arm again. This time, with much force that the ends of my hair whip around. I whisper-yell, "you do know that is Daemon Targaryen, right?"

Libby barely turns to me as she mutters, "what?"

"You're flirting with the Daemon Targaryen," I sneer, "first of his name," I lean in and whisper, "manwhore."

Libby looks at me from over her shoulder to me then back to Daemon, "ahhhh. A cosplayer."

"Libby, I swear to g-"

"It's pretty good," she crosses her arms then points, "is that a wig or hair dye?"

Daemon furrows his brows, face contorting at her words.

My eyes widen and suddenly the silver hair on my scalp itches like it doesn't belong to me. Well, see-- it doesn't! Not in a way that counts to the incestuous gremlin!

From the way his composure tightens, I could tell he was no longer amused. I yank Libby back, shooting her a glare, "literally shut the fuck up."

She scowls at my pressed tone, "what? I was just asking-"

"Hair dye?" Daemon blurts way too loud, shutting us both up.

We turn to him as he looks between us. He tilts his head and adjusts his grip on his sword. He straightens his posture. In that moment, his expression was changed dramatically. He reaches out for Libby's hair, inspecting it in his hand. His violet eyes dart to hers, "so, your hair is blue because of dye?"

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, shit, fuck.

I grab Libby's hand before she can think of saying some bullshit. She does not move a muscle as I squeeze her palm.

Daemon raises his brows impatiently.

"What?" she mumbles.

I clench my jaw at her ditzy response.

Daemon narrows his eyes, "are you so dimwitted not to understand me the first time?

Fucking fuck. A shiver runs down my spine. Libby raises her brows and turns to me as I stare at Daemon. I blurt, "it is a right of passage for her family."

Daemon eyes me hotly.

I release Libby's hand and scramble to the bed where my clothes were folded into a small sack. I go through my things and pull out my phone, opening my gallery, showing Daemon a photo of Libby and our friends with bright colored hair. I lie, "these are her cousins."

Daemon pulls his head back at the sight of the photo on my phone; it was the exact reaction he had when I showed him a screenshot of the maps of this very place.

Libby blinks rapidly as Daemon comes to my side. The man basically breathes down my neck as he looks a the screen like a boomer. He narrows his eyes and pulls back his chin.

I point to Sandra, who had pink hair, "they do this to... commemorate the war-- of their people."

Daemon looks at Libby again, seemingly expecting more of an explanation. I look at Daemon and begin to panic at the aloof expression Libby held. I place my hand on his arm and rub it gently. Thankfully, he's still a simple man and it seems to diffuse his unbelieving demeanor, "it's hard for her to talk about. It was a war over dye and trading. A lot of her family... were casualties."

Fuck. WELL, real wars have been fought for WAAAY less.

Daemon turns to me, "I find it hard to believe such traditions exist two thousand years from now."

"And yet," I wave my phone, "you could not also believe you were listening to music with me moments ago."

He hums and turns back to Libby. He nods, "well, have her dress," he turns back to me, "I want to break fast with you before the tourney, dragonling."

I nod rapidly. Daemon gives a smile and heads for the door, "you remember your way to the solar?"

"I do."

He eyes Libby as he walks off then turns to me, "very good."

The moment the door closes, Libby explodes, "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!

"WE'RE IN FUCKING FIRST CENTURY WESTEROS," I whisper-yell, "now keep your voice down, you stupid fucking bitch, and change!"

It took me explaining everything that happened in detail as she got in her dress AND getting lost in the fucking castle then actually finding our way to the solar for Libby to believe I wasn't playing the most elaborate prank on her.

And when we got there, a servant informed us that the prince had been summoned by the king and that we should eat by ourselves.

Libby and I sit across each other. We decide to forfeit the fact the food could be poisoned because we were way too hungry not too eat. This blue haired rat, however, couldn't fucking stop saying the food could use salt and pepper. We were mortified when a servant came to us with a mortar of just that.

Before we could even say thank you, she runs off.

I snap at Libby, who scratches her headscarf for the nth time, "do you fucking understand you're a terrifying aristocrat right now?!"

"I'M SORRY!" Libby makes a repentant expression.

"You should be!"

"It's just that everything is fucking boiled and-"

The sound of the door opening ends Libby's yapping. We both snap to see who was entering.

In walks the dark haired man from the night before. Gold cloak, armor, and all. He steps in front of us and bows, "good morn."

"Hubba hubba," Libby tucks imaginary hair behind her ear.

"Fucking," I snap to her, "stop."

I look back at the man trying to remember his name, I can't seem to.

"Wait! Is this the madly good looking guard you were talking about?!" Libby speaks WAY to loud for a conversation between two people across each other.

The man makes a sound as he wipes his lips. My eyes widen and I sink in my chair.

"You clearly have a type," Libby mutters as she unabashedly eyes him. He is undeterred. She tilts her head, "he looks like your ex."

I snap back at her, "w h a t?"

"Or I mean he would look like him," she points her thumb, "if he wasn't so whiny, short, and pathetic," Libby turns to me.

"He literally looks nothing like Jon."

"He does!" she leans in, "dark curls, thick brows!"

I shove a bread roll into her mouth.

"Prince Daemon tasked me to be your chaperone for the day," he says, clutching his hand in front of him.

"I've always wanted a hot bodyguard," Libby smiles and leans back on her chair, "well, don't just stand there," she beckons him, "come join us for breakfast."

I pretend to fix my silver hair as I clear my throat, "breaking fast."

"Breaking fast," Libby corrects with a grin, "and what was your name again, pretty boy?"

I groan as I shove a bread roll into my mouth.

"Harwin Strong, my lady," Harwin mutters with another respectful nod, turning to me, "and please, forgive me for last night's encounter, Lady Gryffindor."

Libby titters and slaps her hand on her mouth.

"If I came off as impertinent or-"

"No, please, sir Strong," I raise a hand to him, "you were doing your job-- I mean your duty. Nothing needs to be forgiven."

"By the way," Libby raises a finger, "I'm Lady Hufflepuff and I would love it if you sat down next to me."

Harwin turns to Libby and I resist the urge to facepalm. My face twitches and I watch as Harwin shifts in his spot. I blurt, "you can call her Lilibet."

"Fuck you," Libby snaps.

I snap back, "well, that is your name, is it not?"

"I'm not entering my nun era."

I make a throaty sound and grab a goblet, "clearly," I take a sip, "but with that getup-"

"Hey!" Libby bangs on the table, "you're the one who made my cunt levels drop with this milkmaid outfit."

Harwin begins to cough.

"What? Like I chose that for you?"

"No," she props her elbow on the table, "but Daemon gave you a city girl-"

"Prince Daemon."

"-outfit and he made me look like your ugly handmaiden."

"Again," I brush my platinum hair out of my face, "that wasn't my choice, Lilibet."

"My ladies-" Harwin interjects, making us both turn to him. He clears his throat and offers pinched smile, "I am honored by the invitation, but I will stand watch out-"

"Oh, don't be rude and just sit down already," Libby presses with a playful look, "there's way more food than the two of us can eat."

And though she was correct, I kick her underneath the table.

Libby yelps and eyes me. I dodge her when she kicks me back.

"I don't think it appropri-"

"Nonsense!" Libby calls, turning back to Harwin as she fails to kick me again, "please, just join us."

"LILIBET!" I whisper-yell.

"UGH!" she turns to me with disgust and whisper-yells back, "stop fucking calling-"

"You do know he could literally be like your great-great-great-great-"

She raises a hand and cuts me off with a guttural groan, "oh miss me with that bullshit! You're LITERALLY a Targaryen!"

"I will wait outside," the man calls, making us turn to him.

Harwin walks off and Libby raises the bowl of bread rolls, "THE BREAD ROLLS ARE ACTUALLY REALLY NICE THOUGH!"

I wipe my face, "Libby, we're going to fucking die."

"Not before I try myself some Harwin Strong."

"SIT BACK DOWN."

"I'M SAT!"

When we finished eating, Harwin escorted us to the arena to watch the tourney.

"Are you married, Harwin? Can I call you Harwin?" Libby asks.

I shoot her a look, "Lilibet."

Libby ignores me. The man we were following keeps walking, not bothering to look back at us, "you may call me whatever you like, my lady."

Libby and I turn to each other with a gasp. No, cause why he playing like that?

"And I am not married," he looks over his shoulder, eyes locking with mine momentarily.

Libby's jaw drops and begins to shake me. She mutters loudly under her breath, "bitch. why he looking at you, and not at me?"

"Probably because you're fucking stupid!" I retort quickly in the same manner, unable to mask my giddy tone.

Harwin clears his throat again as he looks front. Neither of us catch this.

"Libby, be so fucking real though," I grab her arm and whisper, "that's someone's grandpa."

"Yeah, well, today, he's my daddy," she mumbles then bites her lips, as if it could minimize her grin.

Harwin makes a face and whispers under his breath, "daddy?"

When we get to the arena, the sound of the cheering crowds make both of us excited, up until someone screamed in terror and the crowds continued cheering anyway. Harwin gave us spots quite near the front, and the sight of the horses and their long-ass sticks left me feeling uneasy.

Libby shoves into me as she points to the far right. I, in turn, collide into Harwin's bulky armor. Before I can apologize for it, she squeals, "LOOK, IT'S DAEMON!"

"Libby, he's the prince!"

"TAKE A PHOTO! He looks so good!"

I give her a look as I straighten up, "girl, shut the fuck up."

Without another thought, she pulls out her phone from her bosom and wipes the moisture off the screen.

Harwin looks away, eyes wide, pretending he did not just see that happen.

"Stop it! You have no idea how bad this could-"

"Oh, shut up, you showed Daemon your phone!" Libby makes a face.

"THAT'S BECAUSE HE WOULDN'T LET ME GET REUNITED WITH YOU IF I DIDN'T CONVINCE HIM I WAS FROM-."

"Shush," she opens her camera and begins to take photos of Daemon. She shouts his name along with the other spectators and I beg her to at least call him prince.

"What is that contraption," Harwin asks, eyes glued on Libby's cracked screen.

I turn to Harwin, to Libby's phone, back to him, "it's, err... an image capturing... box."

Harwin nods at me though his face is visibly confused. He furrows his brows as Libby switches to front cam and puckers her lips out, "SAY CHEESE, DADDY!"

The color in Harwin's face drains when he sees himself on the screen. I clutch his arm and give him a look, "it's okay. It's not dangerous."

"Will it capture my image?" he mutters and covers his face. He mutters under his breath, "I'd like to keep my face."

Fuck. "N-not like that. It's... it's not black magic."

All the while, Libby is pressing the buttons on her phone, rapidly taking photos no one asked for.

A few people around us begin to mutter to themselves. I find myself looking over my shoulder, catching a bunch of men staring right at us. I eye Libby, nonverbally telling her to quit it. She gives me a look and snaps a few more pics of Daemon before shoving her phone back in her cleavage.

I release a breath when she does, that, and ser Harwin's arm that I did not realize I was still latched on to. I offer a look, "sor- apologies."

He nods, "all is well, my Lady."

And yeah sure, maybe it was. Maybe all was well. Daemon was winning the tournament-- or tourney, I guess; I have no idea what the difference was. I mean I could barely watch because they were fucking gladiator-ing each other, but I knew he was winning because after every crash, came a trumpet and the announcement of it.

So yeah. Maybe it was fine then, in its own sick way, but then Libby pulled me by the arm and said, "I have to take a shit."

"What?"

She gives me a look, "I need to take a shit."

"Libby," my eyes widen.

"I know!" she grabs my shoulders as the crowd cheers over whatever barbaric brawl was happening this time, "you think I want to know what their loos look like?" she shakes me, "am I going to have to shit in a river?"

I wipe my face and turn over to Harwin. His eyes turn from the match to me when I pull at his cloak, "mmm.... Lilibet has to... ... to poop."

Libby slaps my arm. I turn to her, frazzled. She hisses, "he doesn't know what poop is."

"You think I don't know that?!"

"I beg your pardon, my lady?" Harwin shifts to us, his thick brows knitting.

"Yeah, one second," I raise a finger at him, looking back at Libby, "I don't fucking remember the word."

Libby sighs, "Just tell him I need to sh- I NEED TO SH-"

I slap my hand on her mouth, "QUIT IT!"

Libby pushes my hand off, "WHAT?!"

"HE'S NOT GONNA KNOW WHAT THAT-"

"EVERYONE FUCKING KNOWS WHAT TAKING A SH-"

"NO, THERE'S A TERM THAT THEY USE! Think about it! Have you never watched a BBC period drama?!"

"BITCH, YOU KNOW I ONLY WATCH NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC!"

"OK, THEN THINK OF WHAT DAVID ATTENBOROUGH SAYS WHEN THE ANIMALS ARE POOPI-"

"DO YOU GENUNINELY BELIEVE THEY SHOW FOOTAGE OF ANIMALS POOPING ON TELEVISION?!"

"I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. IN ALL TV HISTORY THERE HAS TO BE AT LEAST ONE TIME WHERE-"

"HARWIN," Libby shoves me to the side and grabs the man, "I HAVE TO SHIT."

Seven father fucking hells. I dig my fingers into the roots of my light hair and to Harwin, whose lips part and brows furrow. He nods, "I will lead you to the privy," he turns to me, "stay here in the meantime."

We both nod. Libby walks to Harwin's and makes a face at me, "they call it a privy on the BBC, do they? Sounds like an office."

"Libby- Just- if push comes to shove, tell him you'll shit in the river."

Libby groans as Harwin leads her off. She shoots me a glare, "I am not shitting in a river with Harwin watching!"

I shriek in shock when there is a loud crashing sound. My hands dart to my ears just as the crowd roars. A loud voice announces the victory of Prince Daemon from House Targaryen.

I drag my hands down my cheek and clutch my chest.

I dare to look at the casualties on the playing grounds, but to my horror, I see something far worse. Daemon's horse is galloping over to me. He rips his helmet off, tosses it, and sighs through a grin. He points his stick to me and loudly calls, "might a fair woman like you reward me something sweet?"

My eyes widen and I feel the entire stadium turn to me. My heart races and my jaw loosens inch by inch.

Daemon shoves his stick to the side and reaches his arms out to me, "a kiss perhaps?"

Rat, I wasn't even watching you play. Why should I reward you for winning a game I didn't watch?

I cannot help the sound that leaves me when the other audience members begin to spur me on and nudge me. Fuck. I hate peer pressure. I walk towards the railing and eye Daemon as if I had laser vision.

"I CANNOT REACH YOU!" I scream back, momentarily shocked by the ferocity and fury of my voice. I gulp and clear my throat, rubbing my neck that I would so like to keep. I raise my hands, "I must then stay here!"

Daemon, face shining with sweat, colored with dirt and blood, beams as he looks up. He chuckles and dismounts his steed. He walks closer to me and begins to remove his armor, "then come down to me, woman!"

The crowd loses it. The women around me scream that I should come down to him.

Maybe if I jump head first, I'll be done with all this bother.

Fuck, but then Libby would be all alone.

I groan under my breath, "fucking Libby. This is all her fucking fault!"

I look back at Daemon, who had two men helping him out of his armor at this point. His eyes are on me; they probably didn't leave. His lips are curved higher, "fear not," he smirks deeper, "did I swear to protect you?"

The crowd is feral. I glance around the place. Isn't the fucking king right there?!

"No!" I look down at him and shake my head, "you swore not to harm us!"

Daemon laughs, "is there a difference?"

"YES!" I blurt, eyes wide.

Daemon stands alone bellow me, free of his upper body armor. He raises his hands up to me, "then believe me when I say you will not be harmed when you jump."

"Oh gods," I grip the railing and screw my eyes shut, "I fucking hate this man."

"Will you make all of King's Landing wait days for you, girl?"

I growl as the people around me continue to pressure me to jump. Had there not been people around, maybe I would have spit at him. And yet - I climb the railing - I am nothing against peer pressure.

Daemon steps forward, arms higher, laugh louder.

The stadium gasps while heart leaps into my mouth when I let go of the railing and drop straight down. The collision is just as messy as I had dreaded it to be and the next thing I know, I've smack dabbed atop the fucking prince of the realm, crushing into the fucking dirt. So much for catching me.

Yet somehow, Daemon manages to let out giggles while the crowd cheers. His arms tighten around me as I push myself up on his chest, "my," he blows silver hair out of his face, "I didn't actually think you'd do it."

"Fuck you," I snap and shove myself off him.

I don't even know where I'm even going, but I storm off anyway, feeling like the biggest idiot in the known galaxy.

But of course, Daemon is quick to get up and grab my arm. He speaks some High Valyrian bullshit, but I care little for it and pry my limb out of his clutch.

It seemed that was the wrong course of action though, cause the next thing I knew, he grabbed me and threw me over his shoulder. The audience flourishes over the way he took me like a piece of meat.

I fucking hate it here.

Make no mistake, I did my due diligence and tried to wrangle out of his grip. But he was pumped with far too much adrenaline, and his inflated ego would not let him let me go.

Eventually, I got tired and just let it happen. The moment he put me down when we arrived at his chambers though, I shoved him off and distanced myself as much as I could, "what the fuck is wrong with you?!"

Daemon responds in High Valyrian, which effectively pisses me off more.

"I don't have TIME to decode your dragon-heir bullshit, so quit it! I am not a toy!"

Daemon chuckles as he takes a towel and wipes his face, "no?"

"Look," I snap, "I know you're, like, touch deprived and emotionally constipated," I stretch my arm out, "I mean, your family-- our family is a fucking wreath, so you're bound to be fucked up in the head, but please," I press my palms together, "PLEASE just be normal until the end of the day, Dae- Prince Daemon."

Daemon laughs as I go off on him. He watches me for a moment, throws the towel to his bed, and tilts his head.

My chest heaves as we stare at each other. Instead of relaxing, I begin to grow more tense with every passing second. I take a deep breath, but it does nothing for my nerves when Daemon walks forward.

"The truth in the matter is," he raises a hand, "you need me."

My stomach drops when he yanks me by the waist. His violet eyes dart down to my heaving chest. He places his one hand on my collarbone, "shhh."

The feel of him pressing onto my flesh does the exact opposite of what he wants. But no-- with how the corner of his mouth curves upward, I think it's actually the exact reaction he wanted.

When I try to push him off, he pulls me tighter into him and repeats, "you need me."

My nostrils flare but I stop repelling him.

"You need me," he lifts his gaze, "but I don't. I want you, but you need me."

I clench my jaw tightly. I am unable to contain my flinch when his hand strokes my side. He continues, "you need me to open the gate for you and your friend come midnight, do you not?"

I turn away from him.

He nudges me and asks louder, "do you not?"

"Yes," I whimper as I shut my eyes.

He hums, "then," he takes my chin in his fingers, "you'll be what I want, riñītsos." Little girl. He raises his brows. "If say you are a toy, then you say, 'yes, my prince'. If I say you are a rug, then I expect you under my heel. If I say you are my dog, then you ought to bark," he releases my chin, "now, bark, my sweet."

I glare at him, "if you want a dog, I suggest you go up North." I push him by his chest.

He laughs. He grabs my arms and pushes me back. I panic when I fumble on my feet and find myself pressed against a wall. "You're right, riñītsos. How wrong of me to liken dragon fire to dog breath."

I gasp when my back hits the wall.

"A shame," he tucks my silver hair behind my ear, "your parents did not give you violet eyes."

I am frozen in my spot when his lips brush against mine. My breath hitches when he simultaneously presses me back with his chest and pulls me forward with his hands.

I don't kiss him back. My brain was in a glitch. He doesn't seem to mind and feasts on my lips. The moment I have the wits to move, he pulls away and whispers, "worry not," he kisses my jaw, "I'll give your babes violet eyes."

Hearing that really snapped me out of my trance.

I finally turn away from him. It does not deter him though, and he makes due with kissing my neck. He moans against me, "you smell divine."

"I-it's called," I push him back, "personal hygiene."

He snakes his arms around me, "you were sent to me by the gods."

"I travelled here by accident!"

"And I plan to make good of this happy accident."

I fight him off when he claws my skirt up. I weigh my chances with screaming and with talking sense into him. I ponder of telling him my vagina is cursed, but then I think he'd be into that.

"Don't fight it," Daemon grabs my wrists, "I will quench the fires of the Targaryen blood in you that calls out to me."

"My blood does not call out to you!" I whimper.

"You may be Gryffindor by name, but you will be a Targaryen once I am done with you."

And then the doors slam open. "Your grace!"

"Harwin," I call out to the man that burst in.

Daemon growls and but does not pull away or turn, "I'm busy."

"It's Lady Hufflepuff," Harwin speaks through strained breath.

"Who?"

My stomach drops, "wait!" I push Daemon harder, "what happened to Libby?"

Daemon finally looks over his shoulder with annoyance, "what happened?"

Harwin takes a moment to respond. The dread that courses through me makes me strong enough to shove Daemon off. He grunts as I do so. I walk over to the dark haired man, "Harwin."

He clenches his jaw and turns to his feet, "I took her to the privy. She said she was having... trouble using it and that I should call a servant to help. So... I fetched a servant, but when I returned," he clears his throat, "she was gone."

I bring my hand to my mouth.

Daemon walks up behind me, "you lost a woman in King's Landing, Strong?"

"I- I did not think much of it at first," Harwin turns to Daemon, "at first I thought she may have just finished and was playing a trick on me," he glances to me but looks away at once, "but then I saw her contraption on the ground-"

I gasp.

"And then I saw a shoe... and then her headscarf-"

"Dear gods, Libby," my voice strains.

"She was taken by a group of three men," Harwin speaks sternly, "I know not for, but they've since regret their decision."

"And Libby!" I jump and grab his arm, "where is she now?!"

Harwin feels guilt eat away at him when he catches my distraught expression. He turns to me, placing a hand on my shoulder, "she's being attended to by the maesters in the ward-"

I dash to the door, intent on reaching her, though I had no idea where I was going.

"It's this way!" Daemon calls.

When I turn to see where he meant, he was already right behind me. He grabs my arm and leads me down the hall.

The moment we get to the ward, I run around and look for Libby. I am shocked solid in my place when I see the cot she is laid upon. My hands slap to my face upon catching her messy hair, dirty skin, and tattered clothes. Her waist was bound in bandages, but that didn't prevent the red to seep through from her side.

I drop to my knees and crawl all the way over to her. I yelp when I feel how cold her hands are. Hot tears burn down my cheek, "Libby, please!"

My breathing becomes more erratic.

"I've spoken to the maesters," Daemon's voice sounds from behind.

"Fucking tetanus, fucking bacterial shock-"

"They said she lost some blood but she will recov-"

"SHUT UP!" I snap and get to my feet, "YOU GET A FUCKING FEVER HERE AND YOU DIE!" I point an accusing finger, "THIS IS ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT!"

"ME?" Daemon snaps back, "that Strong fool was the one that took his eyes off her!"

"If you had just let us stay in your chambers like I begged you to-- but no! You wanted us to watch your stupid fucking game, you EGOTISTICAL BASTARD!"

He steps forward and barks back, "she still would have needed to go to the privy, you whining nitwit!"

"Why did they even take her?!" I whine.

Daemon does not respond.

"I do not contest that the fault is mine," another voice speaks.

Daemon and I turn to Harwin. His hands are linked in front of him, and only then do I realize they were bloody. More tears gush down my face when the man continues, "it was my duty to keep her-"

"It doesn't matter now, does it!?" I wail, waving my hands around. I fall back on my knees and turn to Libby. Her blue hair was stuck on her sweaty skin. And as I wiped her forehead, it felt like a rehash of last night, except worse. I sob, "nothing's gonna change the fact she got fucking stabbed."

Daemon looks from me to Harwin, "what of the men that took her?"

"I killed them."

My expression drops as I turn to Harwin.

The two stare at each other for a moment.

"Well, we can't question the dead, now can we," Daemon mutters, "feed their corpses to Caraxes."

"W-wait," I feel bile rise up my throat, "did- did you actually kill them?"

Harwin looks at me but doesn't respond. He walks off when Daemon orders him to get a chair. I turn to Daemon and whimper, "he didn't actually kill them... did he actually kill them?"

Daemon nods, "he did," and grabs my arms, "do not insult yourself by sitting on the floor."

For once, I do not fight him back. I let him bring me to my feet. The moment I'm stood before him, he takes my cheeks and wipes my tears.

I shake my head, "I have to take her back."

Daemon raises his brows, "you would dare to move her in such a state?"

"It's the only way she will survive," I mumble through trembling lips.

The prince looks at me for a moment. Harwin finally brings a chair. He places it beside us then stations himself by the door. Neither Daemon nor I make a move for the chair. The former asks, "and you think you can carry her all the way back?"

"Daemon," I grab his arms, "I just have to get her back. Once I'm there, it'll be half the work done."

Daemon releases a breath. He takes my silver locks and fondles with the ends, "and what if I do not want you to leave."

Fuck. "Please," I beg, "please. We both know I don't belong here."

I can see it clearly. It was so clear that those words meant nothing to him. It was talking to a brick wall. I sigh and wipe my face, "I'll do what you want. Whatever it is, I'll do, as long as you let us go by midnight."

Daemon narrows his eyes.

I muster up the most sincere expression I am capable of.

"You will give me whatever I want?"

I close my eyes and shake my head, "yes... my prince."

He does not respond. Daemon turns from me to Libby. He pulls away and calls, "Strong."

"Your grace," Harwin responds.

"She could manage on the back of an ass, could she not?"

Harwin thinks for a moment then nods, "she could."

"Then fetch me an ass," Daemon says. Harwin promptly complies.

Daemon doesn't make me do anything besides sit on his lap while we watched Libby for the rest of the night. I knew in my gut that was not what he wanted out of me, but he didn't say otherwise and I didn't bring it up. Soon enough, it was midnight and there I, Daemon, Harwin, and Libby, sat on a donkey, stood before the open gate of the castle.

Rather than thinking this was stupid and it wasn't going to fucking work, I prayed under my breath to the Seven that we be delivered from this nightmare.

But every time I felt tranquil, the donkey made a sound and I just knew it had to go. What the hell was I going to do with the donkey when I got back to the city anyway?

I clutch the satchel containing our things around my shoulders, "I'll carry her instead."

Daemon and Harwin turn to me and mutter at the same time, "what?"

"I don't want to be responsible for the donk- the animal when I get there."

"Just leave the ass behind," Daemon mutters, rather annoyed.

I grab Libby, who I was already keeping upright, and wrap her arms around my shoulders, "I can carry her."

"No, you can't," Daemon mutters.

Harwin adds, "you are not in the right mind to do this."

"Just," Daemon add, "set the beast free when-"

"I can't just let a donkey loose in King's Landing, Daemon!" I snap, "now please! Help me-"

The bells begin to ring.

I immediately panic.

A surge of adrenaline helps me gather Libby onto my back. "Fucking hell," I grunt and try to fix her on me.

Daemon shakes his hand, "here, let me-"

"I GOT IT!" I scream as the sound of the bell tolling makes my entire body burn with agitation.

I shift Libby on my back one last time and beeline to the gate.

Harwin and Daemon watch. It's impossible to tell which of them is more skeptic in the moment.

I begin to struggle and nearly trip on the annoying skirts hindering my feet. Harwin steps forward, "watch your step."

Daemon eyes him in annoyance, "how helpful."

"Fuck," I panic and begin to walk faster towards the gate, "fucking hell, it's not even that far!"

I reach the large, tunnel-like gate and can't help but close my eyes, afraid that if I could see where I was going, it wouldn't work.

Then SPLAT! I fall face down on the ground.

I scream and immediately roll Libby off me, uncaring that it hurt me, that it hurt her, and quickly get on my feet. I drag her corpse-like body across the expanse and cry as I do so.

I was manic. I was delirious. The sound of the echoing bells did not help the situation at all. I couldn't stop pleading to the gods as I tugged my best friend across the ground. I couldn't even open my eyes because I didn't think my prayers were heard.

"Enough!" a voice calls.

No. NO! That was fucking Daemon. GET THE FUCK AWAY!

I feel someone mess with Libby's body. I screech and refuse to let her go, "LET US GO, DAEMON!"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!"

"NO!" I squeal, finally opening my eyes. I release Libby and lunge at Daemon when I spot him. We crumble to the ground. Once he's on his back, I begin to beat him. It unfortunately doesn't take long for him to overpower me.

"ENOUGH!" he barks, both my hands now trapped in his.

"LET US GO!" I cry.

Daemon shakes his head, "STOP IT!"

"WE'RE GOING BACK!" I try to punch my way out of his grip. It doesn't work.

"Look at me!" Daemon yells, "you dragged her through."

"Get off me!"

"You've done it!!"

I flinch when he shakes me.

"You did it!" Daemon exclaims as he sits up, hands cradling my shoulders, "we're in your time now."

I finally register his words. Daemon looks around, "when you said ruins, I expected an empty castle, not... ruins."

A gasp leaves me when I hear a loud roar from the sky. Daemon looks up when I do, and I calm down when I realize it was only an airplane.

"Was that a dragon?" Daemon asks.

"No," I pull away from him, "that's an-" wait. I stare at him. Daemon fucking Targaryen came back with me?

[gojolvs]

I still want you.

Chapter 7

⤿ Satoru Gojo × reader

Falling in love with the Satoru Gojou wasn’t an easy task. You truly love him but will this come to an end?

Warning/ tags; angst, profanity, smoking, cursing, smut, cheating.

Genre; angst, cheating, infidelity, jik, Gojou × reader

Notes: the tag-list is open if you'd like to be mentioned everytime i update just send me a message on the box. Also super sorry for not updating but im back!

previous chapter ⤏ next chapter

"Sumire!" Yelling with happiness you ran towards your kid. Seeing Sumire in your mothers arm sleeping soundly you couldn't help but feel delightful to see your son.

It felt like it was ages but finally seeing him in the airport running towards you, your heart felt full. You had been away from home for too long, and you felt a deep connection to Sumire. As you got closer, your heart was filled with joy and love for your son. You couldn't help but smile as you looked upon his peaceful face, and you knew that your family was finally reunited. You embraced your mother and Sumire, and you were grateful for the moment. You smiled and looked at your son, Sumire; his hair had grown so much since the last time you saw him. You noticed it was starting to turn white, just like his father's.

"Mommy!" Sumire hugged you tightly, his small chubby hands gripping your chest. Sumire missed you so much, and sometimes he would cry to your mother about how much he missed you and his father, Satoru. It was obvious that Sumire was a mama's boy.

Despite the sadness of the events that had occurred, your heart was warmed by the thought of your son. His presence in your life was a reminder that even in the darkest of times, there could still be moments of joy and peace. He was the one who had the power to make your pain disappear.

"How was grandma's house?" Kissing his forehead you caressed Sumire's white hair. Toji saw your mother struggling to get her luggage into the car and immediately offered to help.

He took one of the bags and loaded it into the trunk, then grabbed the other one and did the same. His kind gesture made your mother smile and she thanked him for his help. Satoru was too busy consoling Jiyuu the whole entire day that he had forgot that Sumire was coming today. You knew that having sex with Satoru was a mistake but you were so caught up in the moment you forgot how much you despised him. You had always known that Satoru was a snake but you had allowed yourself to be charmed by his smooth words and seductive looks. You had thought that maybe this time would be different, but it wasn't. You should have trusted your instincts and stayed away from him. Sumire's own father didn't even come but Toji came.

"Good! Grandma helped me learn how to write" your little 5 year old said. You could tell Sumire was growing up by the minute. You couldn't bare seeing your baby boy grow up.

You smiled and ruffled his hair, feeling a mixture of pride and sadness. You were proud of him, but you couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness that he was growing up so quickly. You looked at your mother, thanking her silently for her help in teaching Sumire how to write. "I know how to spell my name now mama!" Hugging him tightly you felt proud. His face beamed with excitement as he proudly recited each letter of his name. You gave him a big hug and praised him for his accomplishment. Tears of joy filled your eyes as you realized your little one had just taken the first steps towards independence.

"That's good honey, go inside the car okay? I need to talk to your grandma for a bit." Putting him down Toji held the tiny 5 year old hand. Taking him to the car you were left alone with your mother.

You both stood there in silence for a few moments, not knowing what to say. You glanced at her, noticing the wrinkles that had formed around her eyes. She smiled at you, her eyes twinkling with love and compassion, and opened her arms.

You stepped into the embrace, feeling the warmth of her love wash over you. Tears started streaming down your face as you both hugged tightly. "Mom... me and Satoru. We're getting a divorce." Hearing those words your moms eyes widened.

She looked at her daughter in disbelief, her eyes widening as the realization hit her. She had suspected something was wrong for some time, but had been hoping it wasn't true. She had never expected to hear those words from her daughter's lips. Her body seemed to tense up as she slowly processed the news. She stared into your eyes searching for an explanation, her face filled with a mixture of shock and disbelief.

After a few moments of silence, she finally spoke. "What happened?" she asked in a soft voice, trembling slightly. Shaking your head you buried your face on your moms shoulder.

Placing a hand in the back of your head you cried. Not wanting to tell your mother Satoru had cheated because you knew your mother would lash out at him. You wanted to protect him, even though he had done wrong. You knew he was struggling and it was hard for him to stay away from the bad crowd. You wished there was something you could do to help him, but you knew it was out of your control.

"We agreed it was best for us to go our separate ways." Not wanting to go into further details with your mother she knew it wasn't her place to pry anymore. Nodding she just held you.

You knew your mother would be so angry with Satoru and you didn't want that for him. Knowing how much respect he held for your mother for being a strong women you couldn't believe he could actually cheat on you. Seeing how devastated your mother was when your father cheated and he still decided to cheat on you. You wanted to protect Satoru from the wrath of your mother's anger and disappointment. You knew that she would feel betrayed by someone she trusted and admired, and you couldn't stand the thought of him facing the same consequences that your father had faced. You also couldn't believe that Satoru, with all of the respect he had for your mother's strength and resilience, could make such an irresponsible decision.

"Here let's go to the car, we can talk more when we get to the hotel okay?" Letting out a sigh your mother wiped your tears, seeing your doleful expression she knew there was more to the divorce.

Getting inside the car you could see Toji's frustrated face. Seeing Sumire argue with Megumi because he accidentally called you mommy. "No she's my mommy." Furrowing his eyebrow the small 5 year old feud with the toddler. Toji rolled his eyes propping his son to his lap. Scolding him for calling you mommy in front of Sumire even though Megumi wasn't your child.

He sighed heavily, rubbing his temples as he tried to reason with Megumi and Sumire. He glanced over at you, his expression apologetic. "I'm sorry, I know it's not your responsibility to have to deal with this." He said, shaking his head slightly before turning his attention back to the two children.

Sumire pouted his lips crossing his arms, "I don't care, she's my mommy!" Toji sighed heavily, trying to explain to Sumire that Megumi had made an honest mistake.

"Megumi didn't mean to call her mommy. He was just confused, so don't be mad at him, okay?" Toji said, giving Megumi a gentle hug.

Sumire reluctantly nodded his head, still looking a bit disappointed. You knew Sumire would probably not get along with Megumi because his school would always call you and tell you that your baby boy had picked a fight. Yelling at the school principal you remembered you called him and idiot for thinking your 5 year old angel would ever do that. Maybe now you actually seen his true side.

You had always been protective of Sumire, but you knew he was a handful. He had always been a spirited kid, and you knew that he was capable of mischievous behavior. Still, you had always been proud of him for being so independent and determined. Now, you were starting to see that those same qualities could also lead him into trouble. You could clearly see he got most of Satoru's personality. But he still had your nice mannered nature.

The whole ride home was 2 hours, you driving home you kept on looking at rear-view mirror. Seeing megumi and Sumire fast asleep on both of Toji's shoulders. He had his arms crossed and his head was thrown back. You could see his long lashes and the way his eye lids would twitch when the kids would move. You had to fight the urge to pull over and take a photo of the three of them, the moment was so peaceful and serene. But you decided not to disturb them, and kept on driving, admiring the moment in your head. The sun was setting and the orange light was reflecting off of Toji's hair, making him look like a prince from a fairytale. You let out a breath, and kept driving, content with the moment you just shared.

Your mother also fast asleep you were alone with your thoughts. Everyone was asleep in the car but you. You felt a wave of anxiety wash over you as you realized that you had to face him soon. You had no idea what to expect, and it scared you. You wished you had someone to talk to, to help you process your feelings and figure out what to do. But here you were, alone in the car, with no one to turn to. You sighed and took a deep breath, trying to push away the fear and uncertainty. There was only three days left before the wedding of your sister. She was so busy with getting things ready she rarely visited the hotel you were staying, but you didn't mind. You remembered how excited you were when you were planning your wedding with Satoru. You thought back to those days fondly, recalling how you both had laughed and cried together as you finalized the details and the guest list. You wished your sister all the best for her special day, although it was tinged with a bit of sadness as you realized that you wouldn't be able to experience the same joy that you had with Satoru.

Realizing that Satoru no longer cared about you, you felt stupid for still reminiscing the times you were together. It was finally time to move on and you knew it too. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, allowing the tears to stream down your face. You felt a bittersweet sadness as you accepted the truth of the situation. You slowly opened your eyes and wiped away the tears, feeling a newfound strength and resolve to move on with your life.

Stopping the car at the red light you quickly grabbed your phone. Seeing all the pictures you had with Satoru you chose to delete them all. Why would you have pictures of your cheating husband. He probably deleted all of the pictures he had of you. You felt a sense of relief knowing that he would no longer have any reminders of you. You had to move on and start a new life. Taking a deep breath, you slowly exhaled and deleted the last picture. You knew that the only way to move forward was to let go of the past.

Finally what felt like hours you made it to the hotel. Parking the car, you woke up your mom. Seeing her tired face you assumed she felt fatigue due to the airplane. Getting out the car you slammed the door, rushing towards Toji to help him with the kids. You gave your mom a hug and thanked her for coming. You were both relieved to be at the hotel, where you could finally rest after the tiring journey. You knew the trip would be worth it, and you were excited to explore the city with your family. Outside the hotel Satoru was waiting alone. He had his back on the wall, putting his hands in his pocket he walked towards you and your mother.

"Hello mom, how was the trip?" Grabbing Sumire out of the car Gojo carried him towards the hotel room. Your son tiredly groaned in discomfort, wrapping his tiny arms around Satoru.

"It was great, thank you. We had a lot of fun and saw some beautiful sights.”

How are you and Sumire doing?" Gojo smiled at his son as he shifted him in his arms, trying to make him more comfortable.

"Sumire is a bit tired from the trip, but he's doing well."

You stayed back to help Toji, getting Megumi out of the car the little toddler shifted his body. Making himself more comfortable you waited for Toji to get the luggage out the car. Already seeing your husband walking towards the hotel with your mom.

"He's fast asleep, guess you're going to have to stay at my room again, huh?" You took a deep breath, feeling the cool breeze of the night, before turning back to Megumi. Rubbing his back you grabbed one of the blankets you brought for Sumire originally. Seeing the small kid shake in cold you placed it on top of him.

Toji smiled softly at the sight. "You're so good with him." He said, his voice laced with admiration. "It's like he trusts you more than he trusts me."

You chuckled, shaking your head. "It's not like that." You said, brushing a strand of hair away from Megumi's face. "He's just comfortable with me."

"Does your mom know about the cheating?" Shaking your head you said no. Telling Toji how you were going to tell your mom after the whole wedding was done not wanting to ruin it for you sister.

"It's not worth ruining my sister's big day with this," you said with a sigh. "I'll tell her after the wedding is over. I know she's going to be disappointed, but she'll understand."

Waiting for the elevator Megumi kept on adjusting himself. Pulling the toddler closer you silently shushed him. "Shh... go to sleep honey." Moving side to side you gently smiled seeing him burying his face on the crook of your neck.

The elevator door opened and you stepped in. You pressed the button to your floor and the elevator started to move. As you felt the gentle lull of the elevator, the toddler dozed off in your arms. You held him close, thankful for the peaceful moment. "Where's Sumire going to sleep?"

Remembering that you usually shared a bed with megumi and Toji slept on the couch you didn't want to tell Toji to leave to his room for some reason. "He can go to bed with me but you can also sleep with me, besides the bed is big enough for us since the kids are small."Stepping out of the elevator you were met with Satoru's gaze.

"It's just for tonight." You said, feeling a bit embarrassed. Toji nodded in understanding before continuing the conversation.

"I think it's a good idea." He said, and you couldn't help but feel a bit relieved that he didn't seem to judge you for it.

"Where's my mother?" Grabbing the keys you put it in the keyhole. Rubbing his neck Satoru avoided your gaze. All the memories of last nights fling coming back.

"She's in her room, said she was going to sleep." Opening the door you nodded and let out a deep sigh, relieved that she was okay. You thanked Satoru for his help and walked inside the room. You could feel his eyes following you as you walked away, but you didn't turn back. Toji behind you, closing the door you could see Satoru's blue eyes stare back at yours. With a sigh you placed the toddler in your arms down on the bed. Toji doing the same with Sumire he excused himself to go to the restroom to brush his teeth. You watched him with a smile as he stumbled out of the room and closed the door behind him. You took a moment to take in the peacefulness of the room. The two children were now cuddled up in the bed with their blankets. You smiled to yourself, feeling a sense of accomplishment in taking care of the two of them. You walked over to the bed and kissed each of their foreheads before changing your clothes. Taking your shirt off you decided to wear one of your loose shirts you borrowed from Toji, wearing sweatpants to accompany the outfit.

Exiting the restroom Toji took off his shirt. You didn't mind seeing Toji shirtless since it wasn't your first time. The first time he stayed at your hotel room he took off his shirt, asking if you were okay with it. Your reaction was priceless, feeling your face hot you remembered how you instantly ran to the restroom to wash your face from all the thoughts lingering in your mind. You had to admit his body was perfect, his toned abs and biceps were enough to make your heart skip a beat. His perfect V-line and broad shoulders were something you couldn't help but admire.

Toji was a sight to behold, and you were lucky to have him as a friend. Stretching your hands you walked towards the bathroom, making sure to wash your face and brush your teeth before going to sleep. Seeing your face you noticed that your skin was getting the natural glow you had lost after the few nights of crying. Washing your face you felt your skin against the cold water.

As the water ran down your face, you felt a sense of relief. The feeling of relief was so strong that you could almost feel the heavy weight of the day lifting off your shoulders. Taking a deep breath you felt a wave of calm wash over you. You knew that it was time to get some much-needed rest. You gently patted your face dry with a soft towel and looked into the mirror. Finishing brushing your teeth you exited the bathroom. Walking towards the bed you could already see Toji laying down. The kids fast asleep next to him. You crept slowly towards the bed, careful not to wake anyone. As you looked at the peaceful scene before you, you couldn't help but feel a sense of warmth and contentment fill your heart. You lay down beside Toji and snuggled close. You drifted off to sleep, secure in the knowledge that you were surrounded by the ones you loved the most.

Waking up you silently got up, seeing both kids snuggled up with Toji you couldn't help but smile. You quietly tiptoed to the bathroom, brushing your teeth and washing your face. You then crept back into the bedroom and watched the peaceful scene before you. It was a moment of pure bliss and happiness and you cherished it, before slipping out of the bedroom and starting your day. Checking to see if you had received any messages you were surprised to see that your sister had texted you.

Sis; Goodmorning! Im having a small party at my house, i have something to announce so please come quick.

Liking her message you walked towards Toji, seeing his sleeping figure you couldn't help but feel a tiny bit bad that you were going to wake him up. You slowly shook his shoulder, trying to wake him up gently. He stirred in his sleep, groaning he sat up.

His eyes opened, and he squinted at you in confusion. "What's up?" he asked, still half asleep. When he saw it was you, he smiled, his eyes crinkling with warmth. You couldn't help but feel relieved, knowing he was in a good mood.

You showed him the text message, and he just nodded. "My sister needs us, let's give the kids a bath and then go."

Grabbing sleeping megumi he woke him up, you doing the same you grabbed Sumire and placed him on your side. Ruffling his hair he rubbed his eyes, still half asleep he placed his head on your chest. Sumire groaned and opened his eyes, blinking a few times he tried to adjust to the sudden light. He glanced at you and smiled, then snuggled closer and yawned. You smiled down at him and whispered "Good morning, Sumire".

Both of you walking towards the restroom you placed Sumire down, making sure the bathtub was being filled with warm water you were relieved to feel the water warm enough. Undressing Sumire you threw his clothes to the side before putting him onto the bathtub. You slowly put Sumire inside the bathtub and started washing him gently with a sponge, making sure to clean every inch of his body. You added a small amount of shampoo to his hair and began to massage it softly. As you were doing this, you could hear Sumire humming softly, showing how comfortable he was with the situation. Megumi in the other hand was crying so much. Toji didn't know what to do because he rarely gave Megumi a bath he would always shower with him instead.

Giggling at the current scene you came to the rescue, switching positions with Toji you let him scrub Sumire's hair while you bathed Megumi. The little body immediately stopped crying when you came to his aid.

"Kids going to be the death of me." Groaning he let out a sigh, placing more shampoo on Sumire's hair. He had a look of relief on his face as he handed you the shampoo for Megumi.

You smiled and thanked him before kneeling to Megumi's level, and beginning to lather his hair. He still had a look of terror on his face, but his cries had softened into quiet sobs. You worked quickly and quietly, trying to get his hair washed and rinsed before he started wailing again.

You smiled reassuringly as you finished, and he finally seemed to relax. "There we go," you said softly. "All done."

Switching again, Sumire was just playing with water. Sumire had been playing with the water in the bathtub happily, splashing it around and enjoying himself. He was getting a bit too wild, however, and some of the suds from the shampoo got into his eyes, making them sting. You told him to close his eyes and carefully rinsed off the shampoo before it caused any further discomfort. After he was all clean, you grabbed a towel and wrapped him up. Carefully, you lifted Sumire up and took him to the bedroom. You gently dried him off with the towel before carefully changing him into a fresh set of dry clothes. Once he was dressed, you made sure he was comfortable.

Toji doing the same you both got ready quickly before grabbing your bags and heading out the door towards your sister's beach house.

Already entering the house you walked to the back of the house. Seeing everyone gathered around the small patio that led to the beach. Everyone was wearing shorts and dresses. You had nothing but a small sun dress you decided to wear under your swimsuit if you decided to go in the water later. You smiled to yourself in contentment as you took in the scene. The sun was shining brightly, the sand was glistening, and the waves were crashing against the shore. You took a deep breath of the salty air and felt the warm sun on your skin. It was a perfect day for a beach party.

"You made it!" Giving you a hug your sister smiled at you, she had a beautiful white sundress on that made her look like an absolute goddess compared to you. You could say she got the good genes of the family.

"I wouldn't dare to miss this." Hugging her back you separated yourself before calling Sumire over to introduce himself to his aunt.

Sumire timidly stepped forward, bowing his head in respect. You could see the excitement in his eyes as he smiled shyly at his aunt. "It's nice to meet you," he said.

His aunt smiled warmly and said "It's nice to meet you too, Sumire. I'm so glad you could come today. You probably don't remember me because I met you when you were super tiny!" She said warmly.

"The guests should be arriving soon," your sister said as she looked at the clock. "Can you help me unpack?" You nodded and followed her into the guest bedroom, picking up a suitcase from the floor. Together, you quickly unpacked and neatly arranged the clothes and toiletries in the dresser and closet. Soon, everything was in its place, ready for the arrival of your family's guests.

Closing the door, she walked to the closet and pulled out a small box. "I want you to be the first person to see this," she said, handing you the box with a smile. Confused, you slowly opened it and found baby clothes and a t-shirt that read "World's Best Aunt." Instantly, you realized that she was announcing her pregnancy and you were going to be an aunt. Overwhelmed with joy, you hugged her tightly as tears of happiness streamed down your face. You couldn't wait to meet your new niece or nephew and spoil them with love and affection.

"Oh my god. How far along are you??" You exclaimed, your eyes widening in surprise as you took in your sister's growing belly. You couldn't help but feel overjoyed for her - it had always been her dream to have a child and now it was finally coming true.

"Im just a few weeks along. Im so happy because we can finally have children around the same age!" Suddenly, your excitement turned into confusion and amusement as you realized that Sumire was still a toddler and she was talking about having children around the same age.

"This means we can go shopping together for baby clothes! Aren't you happy?" she asked, looking at you with a big smile. "Remember when we used to dream about this when we were kids?" she continued, giggling with excitement.

You couldn't help but let out a small laugh at the absurdity of the situation. Your sisterlooked at you with a puzzled expression, clearly not understanding why you found her statement funny. "What are you talking about Marie?”

"I'm talking about the baby, silly!" Marie exclaimed, rolling her eyes playfully. She leaned in closer to you and placed her hands on your growing belly. "I can't believe you're going to be a mom soon!" she said with a smile.

“No. You’re just making things up.” you could feel anger building up.

"Aren't you pregnant?" I overheard Gojo and Suguru talking about you being pregnant." Stunned by what she was saying, you took a step back, unsure of how to respond.

“What exactly did you hear marie.” Your eyebrows were furrowed.

“Geez, why are you so mad? all i heard was satoru saying that someone was pregnant and Suguru looked shocked so i assumed it was you.” It couldn’t be right? Theres no way he had gotten Jiyuu pregnant. Shaking your head you put down the box on the bed. “I have to go.”

"Wait!" throwing everything onto the bed, you could hear your sister running after you. Running down the stairs, you could just hear the sound of your heels hitting the hard wood. Everyone was outside talking, and you could feel the anger rushing through your body as you ran towards the doors. Walking outside, you spotted Satoru talking to Suguru and Shoko, his hands in his pockets and a dumb smile on his face. Seeing that only made you even more angry.

You were fuming with anger towards Satoru for betraying your trust. "How dare you!" you shouted, unable to control your emotions. Your sister's voice calling your name snapped you back to reality as you pushed past everyone to stand next to Satoru. "Y/N?" he asked, confused by your sudden outburst and heavy breathing. But before he could finish, you slapped him across the face, causing everyone around to gasp in shock.

"How could you, Satoru?" His face was stunned as he looked at you in disbelief. You had just slapped him in front of everyone. "What did I do?" Confused, he quickly grabbed your hand before you could slap him again.

letting out a deep breath you could feel the tears building up. Everyone had stopped what they were doing and looked at the scene. “First i was fine with you leaving me for another women but getting her pregnant?!” You could feel the tension in the air as everyone held their breath, waiting for your next words. Your sister's eyes widened in disbelief, her gaze shifting between you and Jiyuu, who stood next to Nanami, casually eating a cupcake. It was clear that the news of Gojo getting another woman pregnant had caught everyone off guard. Letting out a deep breath, you tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill over from the hurt and betrayal you were feeling.

"Can we talk about this somewhere else?" Gojo looked at everyone and started apologizing.

"Sorry everyone, she's just tired," he said, placing his hand on your shoulder. Clenching your teeth, you moved away. "No, Satoru. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of pretending like we're still together.”

"What's going on?" suddenly your sister's fiancé appeared. "What's going on is that Satoru cheated on me with Jiyuu and she's pregnant," you sighed, feeling the weight of the situation. As Satoru began to angrily grab your hand, you couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment. His eyes were filled with anger, and you knew this was going to be a difficult conversation.

“what? is this true?” asking Satoru just sighed.

“Yes, me and Jiyuu are together and we are expecting.” The reality of the situation hit you like a ton of bricks. After all this time, Satoru had moved on and was now with Jiyuu. They were expecting a child together, and you knew that meant he was no longer the father of my child. You would have to share that bond with another woman, and it was a harsh reminder that you were truly alone in this world.

Wiping away your tears you knew it was the end. The end of your marriage. “Im leaving.” walking past your sister you could see the hurt filled in her eyes. “Im sorry Marie i didn’t mean to ruin your party, as for everyone else please pretend this never happened and make this a good day for her.” Being the bigger person you walked back into the house. Grabbing your purse and keys you realized that Toji took you here. Not wanting to see his face after everything you just grabbed sumires hand and walked out. Hopefully there was a bus station you could go to.

“Mommy?” Lifting Sumrie you held him in your arms. Kissing his head before walking to a random direction. You continued to walk aimlessly, deep in thought. The weight of your child in your arms brought you a sense of comfort, but you couldn't shake off the feeling of dread that seemed to be following you. As you walked, you couldn't help but think, "Could this day possibly get any worse?"

You made your way to the bus stop and sat down on the bench, letting out a deep sigh of relief. The events of the day had drained you both physically and emotionally, and all you wanted was to escape into a peaceful slumber. As you waited for the bus, you closed your eyes and let the exhaustion wash over you, finally finding a moment of calm amidst the chaos. Should you have really blurted everything out and potentially caused harm to those you care about? You couldn't help but feel guilty as you stared at your phone. The missed calls from your sister, Satoru, and Toji were a reminder of the consequences of your actions.

You couldn't help but wonder if things would have been different if you had kept your thoughts to yourself.

Taglist; @allofffmypeaches @wo-ming-bai @nerdiel-has-no-braincells @creolequeen11210 @yevene @doughnuts-eater @narutosagemode @lilith412426 @meojjjsworld @pandoraium @dcvilxswish @cloudsinthecosmos @alurafairy

[coopers-hand]

your 6H and how you find comfort

TLDR: our 6H is responsible for our day to day lives, including our habits and routine. one thing about those is that through these repetitive actions people find the sense of familiarity, stability and comfort. the position of the ruler of this house will show you areas through which you may find this comfort❤️‍🩹 to gain more insight, look at the signs of both 6H and it’s ruler, as well as to your Moon and virgo-pisces axis! ٩(^‿^)۶

~ the position of your 6H ruler and how you find your sense of comfort

1H: pampering oneself, being pretty and comfy, and being well fed and having walked on their little walk, and their skin is moisturized and their nails are groomed — these people need to take care of themselves and their own body to feel comforted🍃

2H: those people may be the type of ppl that have their emotional support stuffed animal, or sweater, or coffee mug — anything, actually, that they can hold and touch and that has some physical weight to it. they may sleep with plushies and wear the same mittens their mom knitted for them centuries ago🧶☕️

3H: escaping to the books, movies, series, etc. — these ppl find the most comfort in stories and ways people share their thoughts with the world ✏️ so they may have their comfort piece of media that they keep coming back again and again

4H: sense of comfort is brought through the feeling of home and passed childhood. the perfume of their mother? that one sandwich they’ve been eating since they turned 5? that one pair of socks knitted by their grandma? you tell me 🥹 || I have my 6H ruler in here, and I find comfort in eating the same breakfast my mom was cooking for me when I was at school, so yeah…

5H: hobbies!! those people may be the ones that have been doing the same thing since childhood, like they’ve always been drawing with crayons, or collecting stickers, or crafting, or making little silly songs with their old electronic piano. they may find comfort in their old creative supplies, in their ancient watercolors they bought like in 7th grade, or in that one song that makes they soul dance itself out

6H: regime!! those people need to have their own familiar structure of life, even if this structure doesn’t make sense for everybody else. they need their morning walks, they need their sunday movie nights with that one person, they need to do this exact type of exercise bc it’s important for them and only they will get it.

7H: those people are about lifelong relationships, they may be one of the most devoted partners you can find. they find comfort in people they’ve been with since forever, they are feeling sure and good and comfy around their best friend that they’ve known for 20 years, that they’ve grown up with and that they share almost all of their life experiences with👭

8H: those people need their alone time. they need their sacred space, their little castle that nobody can invade and make them put on a human suit again. they find comfort in knowing that there’s completely no one around so that they can be so much and unapologetically alone and themselves.

9H: those people are the greatest optimists, that will not let the humanity destruct itself in the storm of hate and pessimism. those people always know that there’s hope, that the world is a good place to be in, that there’s joy and love and laughter and cool people and also little animals and big animals and flowers and so much more!! I love them so much omg sorry but those people literally save the world by finding their own sense of comfort😭

10H: another type of people that need the structure, but, on the contrary with 6H fellas, this is kind of an external structure. it may be a literal social institute that provides them with it (e.g. school, work, gym membership, language clubs??), or a kind of style of living that they accept to follow. those people may find comfort in knowing that they have their life together, in knowing what will happen tomorrow🏹

11H: those people crave the sense of belonging. they need to know that they are not alone in this world, that there’s at least another person on Earth that can say ‘hey! im here! I know how you feel’. the greatest sense of comfort for those people is knowing that they are understood.

12H: hello my lovely existentialists 🥰 for these people comfort may look like something unattainable, bc they are prone to existential dread every working day and holidays included. however, the sense of comfort is attained through daydreaming, sleeping and meditating — and also other 1000000 things that can be linked to sleep. I also have noticed that those people may need more sleep than others to stay healthy. so, remember — it’s not that the world hates you, maybe you just had very little sleep in the night💤

[hennyjwrites]

Rio trapping his wife again

Y’all already had 5 kids. All boys. You gave up a long time ago on having a little girl but Rio hadn’t. Your youngest was almost a year old and for some reason Rio thought that gave him the green light to have another.

“Christopher im gonna punch you if you don’t leave me alone.” You mumbled as he kissed on your neck. He had told you earlier that night. that he wanted to try for another baby. Your sons were spending the night with his grandma upon her request and that gave Rio the perfect opportunity.

“Gimme just one more.” He begged, sucking slightly on your sweet spot.

You tried to resist him, you really did. But a few more begs, traveling fingers, and a few more kisses, ended up with you fucking him. All night.

He was so good that by the end of the night, he had you begging for him to give you another baby.

That would end up being his routine. After you gave him the green light, He made sure to cum in at least once a day, to ensure he would get his daddy’s girl

A few months later, after getting sick every morning for over a week, and become nauseous to every smell, you went to the doctor. Even though you recognized the symptoms, surprise surprise! Your pregnant.

Of course Rio took care of you your entire pregnancy. Held your hair if you sick, massaged your feet, talked to the baby everyday. Only it wasn’t just him, it was all your sons too. They cared for you and their youngest sibling just like Rio did.

Rio felt this pregnancy was different. He just knew that you were having a baby girl. And boy was he right and wrong at the same time.

By the time you were 5 months you were as large as a house. You brought it up at your doctors appointment and weren’t you surprised.

“There’s baby number 1.” The doctor said showing you where the first baby sat. “And there’s baby number 2.” She moved the mouse over a little bit more. “And then there’s baby number 3!”

Both yours and Rios mouths dropped when she announced you were having triplets. The doctor asked did you want to know the genders and you and Rio both said yes.

“It seems that your having 3 identical girls!” Congratulations mom and dad!” The doctor cheered before giving you some privacy.

Rio stood and gave you the biggest hug and kiss in the world, with his eyes filled with tears. “You heard that beautiful? Three little girls.” He held you for what seemed like eternity in joy.

When you got home and announced it to your sons, the amount of joy that was through the house could blow the roof off. All throughout your pregnancy they all helped you pick out clothes, shoes, and toys all for their little sisters

3 months later and you went into early labor. Your labor lasted for 32 hours, with you screaming, crying, and even staying calm at some point. When you were finally able to push it took around 30 minutes to get each baby out.

Rio stood next to the bed holding his first daughter, on his right and his second daughter in his left. You held your third daughter from the bed. They looked more like you than him. They had the perfect shade of brown with your beautiful eyes, but they took his nose. Each girl was born with a head full of hair.

He couldn’t wait until they started to develop into their own person. He wanted to see would they take after you or him. It was his favorite parts of watching his babies grow up.

“Thank you.” Rio whispered. “You gave me 3 more beautiful kids. I love you more than you’ll ever know baby.” He leaned down and kissed your lips. When he pulled back he bit his lip. “2 more and we’re done.” He laughed, hoping you would agree.

You scoffed, before looking at your babies. “These 3 are going to run you down, not even including the other 5. your not gonna want anymore.”

You both laughed and waited for your sons to come and meet their new baby sisters.

[jmdbjk]

No hurricanes.

We have 4 days left in August but it looks like there will be no hurricanes for us. We are typically waiting for one to arrive about this time every August. Definitely a welcome calm because there was already too much shit packed into this past month as it was so thank you to Mother Nature for not adding that extra layer of a shit show.

That being said, there is always next week for a hurricane. We wait. In the meantime, Episode 5 of Are You Sure? drops after I go to sleep tomorrow night.

Namjoon has been active on his IG account, he just tweaked his bio, changing the title "right place, wrong person" to all lowercase. We are holding the ship on a steady course, Captain. Seas are rough but we see the signals.

In case you didn't know, Miss Karma came back from her vacation. As of today, Min Hee Jin has been terminated as CEO of Ador.

She is being given the choice of remaining as director/producer for NewJeans but all of her stock options and whatever went poof. Good luck bitch, fighting your sexual harassment lawsuits without your CEO salary or perks. On your way out, please fumigate your office and leave the keys with the security team.

In other news, Billboard executives meeting this week to discuss major changes to Billboard Hot 100 and minor changes to Billboard 200. Can't wait to hear what this new round of fresh hell will be.

Also, Billboard having an event in Seoul to fiNd ThE nExT BTS!

Ya know... after all this time... how has no one ever realized its not the NEXT BTS anyone needs to be searching for? Yes, to the part about finding an authentic artist who can craft their own (really good) songs with lyrics that resonate. But the real key they need to find is...

... the next FANDOM that is like Army. Globally diverse from different walks of life including young, old and in-between. Loyal, loving, smart, organized, even if at times we seem to struggle to come together.

If an artist can cultivate a relationship with their fandom which consists of mutual respect and trust between them only THEN can the artist do anything, be anything, even untouchable. Hasn't anyone been listening at all? BTS has been saying for years they couldn't do anything... wouldn't be where they are... would have no reason to exist WITHOUT ARMY.

Seriously shaking my damn head. No one listens. No one.

Some other random things that are constantly doing a hit n'run inside my head...

I hope Jimin’s time with Dior menswear is finished because good lawd that shit is fugly. No. Just no:

It looks like an outfit they would be forced to wear as a penalty for losing a Run BTS game. Isn't that the same way Koreans tie up what they call a "lamb head" towel around their head to go in the public baths?

I haven’t talked about Jin at all this month. Shame on me.

He's been very very busy endearing himself not only to Army but to middle-aged men, women, kids, moms, future spouses, actors, idols, foodies, gamers, fishermen, grandmas, grandpas, the world.

Hobi will be coming home in 49(?) days!

Jimin and Jungkook are sending off their fellow soldiers with autographs as they are discharged. I guess it is somewhat comforting to read these simple messages they write to their departing comrades. It's all we have for now. I hope they are doing ok way out there in the boonies. 9 months and 15 days left.

[maitanii]

TOKYO REVENGERS INSTAGRAM HEADCANONS

an: missed me? I'm back with more shitty headcanons :*

MIKEY

— He likes to post the cringiest stories that you've ever seen on Instagram. You know the Facebook memes that old women post on Instagram? Yeah, that kind of thing.

— The only comments that he receives are Baji's emojis (🤣🤣🤣🤣)

— His feed is made of photos of the Toman founders and blurry photos of his bike.

— He doesn't use Instagram to flirt. He, in fact, doesn't know how to flirt.

DRAKEN

— He doesn't really post anything. Sometimes Emma tags him on a story and he re-posts it, but that's it.

— His feed is made of two photos: one of his bike and one in a mirror with Emma.

— He comments on every single Toman member post with "🔥🔥" or "lol".

BAJI

—Technology grandma.

—He posts 1715 stories per day, and all of them are the same blurry pic of Peke J.

— Feed full of photos. Some better some worse.

— Sometimes he'll post a question sticker, but he doesn't know how to answer them.

— He really tries to flirt through DM's. (Key word: tries)

— One time, a fake profile commented on one of his photos saying "You're HOT 🔥💋 Want to meet🔥?" and he tried to talk to them. Mitsuya is still laughing about it.

CHIFUYU

— Average Instagram user.

— Cute selfies of him and Peke J. Some random cafeteria. Photos of Toman reunions.

—His feed is empty but he does have his stories organized.

— He has flirted more than once through DM's.

— He mostly uses Insta to send memes to Kazutora and Takemichi. I would say Baji but Baji literally doesn't get memes.

KAZUTORA

— Now, this one.

— Feed empty. No profile picture. Stories are made of sad songs and question stickers of "someone wants to talk". Chifuyu answers to them every single time. Baji just goes to his house.

— He has a meme account.

— DM king.

— He also sends Chifuyu screenshots of Mikey's stories. They have loads of inside jokes with them.

MITSUYA

—Inmaculate feed. Best photographer.

— He usually posts photos of Hakkai modeling his designs, Luna and Mana, cups of coffee and his bike.

— His feed doesn't have a lot of photos, but they're enough to know about him and his past.

— He doesn't flirt through DM's.

— He also sends DRAKEN screenshots of Mikey's posts.

HAKKAI

—Instagram king.

— He's a model. What else should I say.

— Whenever he gets tagged by Yuzuha, he reposts the story.

—His feed is made of his professional photos.

— DM's for business enquires.

PAH CHIN AND PEH YAN

—These two come together.

— They have an account "for entrepreneurs" where they share pixelated pictures of "wise advice".

— Bitcoin bros.

— Comment on every single Elon Musk posts with " you're right bro🔥🔥🔥"

SANZU

— His profile pic is a cat.

— Private account with a few followers. Not that he cares about that.

— His feed is made of 2 photos, and both of them are from 5 years ago. One of them is with Mikey (Retrica effect included) and the other one is a cheese cake.

— His stories are quite pleasant to see, he's a good photographer.

HAITANI RAN

— ...

— Instagram king wannabe.

— His feed is made of amazing photos. He's beautiful and he knows how to get his features to shine.

— His stories... debatable.

— He tries to make himself to look interesting. And maybe it works with some people. But not with his acquaintances. Rindou always answers to his stories with "🔥🔥 so deep bro🔥🔥" while he's laughing with his friends behind the screen.

— King of flirting though DM's tho.

HAITANI RINDOU

—Gymbro

—Shares inspirational videos from TikTok and gym photos on his stories.

— Feed with a few photos, but not empty. Some are with his brother and some from parties. Quite aesthetic.

—Doesn't really use DM's.

INUI

—Is not interested in social media, but has an account because Koko told him he needed one for his business.

—He doesn't post stories, only photos of bikes on his feed.

—Once he posted one of himself with a bike and all the comments were "bro is beautiful".

—Koko follows him with a fake profile.

[hana-no-seiiki]

SOME YANDERE FLUFF TO BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY.

// fantasy creature cruelty. yandere themes. heteronormative society (sort of?? both your paternal and maternal grandparents come in hetero pairs)

I don’t know if you guys read my yan! father fic yet but do go check out @yoru-no-seiiki for it (Unless you’re a minor cause that acc doesn’t allow those) as it happens in the same universe(ish) as this one.

So by now you’ve already met yan! father.

BUT WHAT ABOUT CUTE HIGH FANTASY YAN! GRANDPARENTS AND OLD MENTOR.

(honestly would love to see my moot’s takes on yan! grandparents so if ya’ll see this. it’s not only a sign but a call to aid plez)

mostly based off of mairimashita iruma kun’s sullivan, your YAN! PATERNAL GRANDPA and GRANDMA spoil you a shit ton.

YAN! P! GRANDPA is more on the type to spoil you physically/monetarily. If you have a need or even the slightest hint of desire for something, consider it received. He has saved so much of your drawings and if you happen to be the kid who drew monsters/weird abominations as a child then ya boi definitely has frankensteined some into being. His creations happened to net him a ton of money which he spent all on you as ‘thanks’ but everyone knows it’s just cause he’s infatuated with his cute grandchild.

YAN! P! GRANDMA leans heavily on the ‘unhealthily allowing this kid(you and yan!dad) to do whatever you want and even encouraging it’ sort of parenting. She taught how to kill and do it efficiently as a young child. Uncaring of whatever prophecies schmofeces oracles have of your future. She will make you into an indestructible machine and is hell-bent on it. … You have probably ingested a lot of poison from her cookies as a way to built immunity to the stuff.

Now your maternal grandparents are a lot let on the damaging side but are still pretty over the top.

Your YAN! MATERNAL GRANDPA loves showing off. He’s probably like a war general with many wives and sees love as ‘you worship/admire me’ which he sorta maybe passed unto you. He’s kind of like a caveman and believes a show of strength is in order to be successful. So there’s a lot of him flexing and challenging YAN! PATERNAL GRANDPARENTS to a duel.

Only for YAN! PATERNAL GRANDMA to swiftly have his ass wipe the floor.

YAN! MATERNAL GRANDMA is a jaded woman. She never loved her husband and had always wanted to flee the family and high society until you came along. I see her as the old version of those Manhwa female protags that have rebirthed multiple times and is just tired of the shitty life they’ve been dealt with. She’s incredibly knowledgeable on fashion, trends and the industry as a whole. She’ll make sure you look good at every turn. Maybe even start trends of your own. It doesn’t matter your body type and if isn’t what’s in at the moment, she’ll make it the moment. Unlike the paternal grandma and her husband, she would never put you in harms way. Even extending your time with her so you don’t have to do those barbaric acts with the others.

And then there’s YAN! MENTOR who swore to never have another child under him ever again. The last time he did that, said child (your father) destroyed his precious astrology tower and had him imprisoned for 5 years for a thing he never even did. Sure, 5 years is nothing for thousand or so year old man but boy was he pissed off.

YAN! MATERNAL GRANDPA had to threaten him to have you and YAN! MENTOR is almost thankful that he did.

YAN! MENTOR believes you to be his best student. It definitely did not start off that way. He thought that a prissy, spoiled brat like you would leave the moment he gave you a difficult task but you surprised him with your tenacity. Throughout all his trials for you, you always came out at top, if not persevered until your body couldn’t handle it anymore.

He definitely wants you to kill your dad as compensation though, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I end up writing him as the reason why you plotted to end the dude’s life.

To keep things fluffy, let’s say in this timeline, he saves you from your dad’s entourage and adopts you.

Your YAN! GRANDPARENTS definitely riot but all are mature enough to understand the situation in the end.

will write more on this on the future but for now, i gotta go! byeeee!!

[desicanary]

Some thoughts after finishing the double that I need to expel from my consciousness:

1. I haven't enjoyed a show so much in a while. It had all the drama, and it didn't sacrifice it for the romance

2. Princess Wanning! She killed her dad and I think that was queen shit. She should have killed more people, frankly. She deserves to do so much murder

3. Shen Yurong how I hate you. This man is not only a murderer and a coward, he's also incompetent. None of his plans have ever worked. Mans couldn't manage to successfully kill his wife even if every god were on his side. I loved every time Xue Fangfei did psychic damage to him simply by existing

4. Xue Fangfei! Xue Li! Jiang Li! Xiao Limao! A'Li! Many other terms of address I've missed! She truly is that girl. She is gaslight gatekeep girl boss. She's a girl's girl. She stabbed a man in the dick 7 times. She has the man who once called her a pawn wrapped around her pinkie. When her man tells her he has to get into a political marriage for the nation she says do it then, and then he has to admit he was never gonna. She inflicted +9999999999999 damage on those who wronged her and Jiang Li. She can't fight to save her life (as evident) but can and will confuse her opponent into tripping over their own nonexistent shoelaces

5. I loved the progression of the relationship between A'Li and Xiao Heng. They weren't immediately lovers or friends. They fully used each other until they were willing to be used. The chemistry, the flirting, it's too much and too good. Also, Xiao Heng serves. See: the fans, the fucking gold plated murder fan, a walk-in closet full of capes, the most dramatic entrances known to cdramas, and all the audacity

6. BUT what were the last 20 minutes! They don't exist to me! My buddies Wen Ji and Lu Ji are watching their boss embarass himself at Duke Su's mansion and sharing in the hot goss, to me

7. Plus, I've gotta be missing something about the Longwu army. I do not understand them at all. Not a single one of them would survive the Nuremberg precedent. Not only are they not guided by ethics and morals, they're also not guided by loyalty or revenge or anger or hate or any understandable motivation. Instead, they're guided by a rock carving of a fish. wut. They find out the dude holding the fish works for the guy who betrayed and killed their general, their comrades, and even some of their family. And their response is: "How could they?!?!?! But we still have to listen to them because they have the fish!" Truly what. Someone explain this all-powerful rock fish to me

8. I do think that the Jiangs deserved more. And by more I mean worse. I think Xue Li should have told Jiang Yuanbai exactly how Jiang Li lived and died, and that she hated him for his negligence. I think she should have told the grandma too. They had their hand in this and they deserve to feel the full weight of Jiang Li's life and death and hatred

9. Also Jiang Yuanbai being like "It's not that I didn't know what was going on at home it's just that I was so busy working for the nation uwu". Sir, disrespectfully, no. You had not a clue. And if you did, that makes it worse. Like "Oh no! I'm so busy working that I have no choice but to let my wife frame my 8 yr old for her own attempted murder! The murder of the same stepmom that she, until yesterday, adored! Oh well, I gotta go to work so I'll just let that happen and abandon her for 10 years until politics makes it necessary for me to bring her home! And I'll feel really bad about abandoning her now, but I'll also never believe a single word out her mouth!" Actually, I think he should be hunted for sport

10. Anyway, that got off track! But I love this show, and how even the antagonists have arcs and backstories and aren't countering our girl just cuz. I love the fleshed out characters, all the looks it serves, the drama, and the adorable Wen Ji and Lu Ji and Jiang Jingrui

[sweetprfct]

Is It Over Now?

Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: Fake dating your flatmate, Joe, should be a simple thing. It meant you get to help get his ex back, and it meant you get to stop your parents' nagging about bringing someone home for once. But what happens when fake dating turns into something unexpected? Now, what?

Author's Note: Part 5 is here! This is the last part I left off before I deleted the old blog, so I will be working on part 6 this week! Comments are always welcome! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: 18+, smutty-ish

Wordcount: 4.2K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five - part six - part seven - part eight - part nine - part ten

The sound of papers shuffling on the table and the low volume of the television behind you was the only sound echoing through the flat as you watched Sara sign all the last few paper works that she needed to do for her and Abby’s adoption. You decided to visit their place and help them out with everything they needed to prepare since Abby was busy at the art gallery. Besides, the last thing you wanted to do was stay in your own place after the night of your mum’s birthday dinner. 

Funny how you were starting to also feel uncomfortable in your own flat. 

“So, when are you going to meet her?” You asked Sara. 

You studied the boxes that were stacking up around their flat. Abby and Sara had gone shopping for all the things they needed to make sure that the little girl they were adopting was going to be all settled and comfortable. When your eyes met Sara’s, you immediately saw her face beaming with excitement as she finished signing the papers in front of her. You knew this had been a long process for them, and they have been waiting for this answer. You couldn’t believe they

were finally almost at the end of it. 

“In a week.” Sara replied. “I’m so excited to meet her. The agency said that she’s only two years old, and her name is Elena.” 

“And she’s from the orphanage that you guys visited before?” You asked. 

“Yeah, poor thing.” Sara sighed. “Her parents passed away in a car accident just last year.”

Your eyes widened, “What happened?” 

“When she finally turned one, her parents decided to go out for a date night because it had been a while and going home, they got into a car accident. Her grandparents are too old to take care of her, and she doesn’t have any other family.” 

“Ohmygod.” You gasped softly, feeling your stomach drop. “But does her grandparents keep in contact?”

Sara nodded her head. “Yes, they would visit her, and we’ve met them. Her grandma is starting to forget a lot of things, and her grandpa could barely walk.” 

“That’s horrible, but I’m happy that she’s going to be in a good family.”

Sara leaned back on her chair, and you saw the hesitation in her eyes. It was almost like sadness and at the same time, a terrified look on her face. 

“What if I’m not going to be a good mother?” Sara asked. 

“Are you kidding?” You chuckled softly. “You’re going to be a great mother, and Abby will too. The both of you are such a good team already.”

That was the difference between you and Sara. She has her life together, and she knew what she wanted. It wasn’t like she didn’t have flaws either, but she was just better at all of this. Better at organizing her life, better at making decisions, and she knew the path she wanted for her life. You, on the other hand, didn’t really know what to do. You woke up everyday and just survived and hoped you would eventually find your way. That you would eventually stop being so terrified with life. 

“Thank you.” Sara smiled. “And thank you for always supporting me and Abby.”

“I’m always here for you.” You smiled, getting up from your chair to grab the both of you a drink. “It’s just the nerves that’s making you overthink about all of this, but I know that you will be an amazing mother.”

You handed her the glass of wine as you took a sip of yours. 

“C’mon. Why don’t we start setting up her room?” You smiled, setting down the glass of wine on the table before lifting up one of the boxes and walked over to Elena’s room. 

You couldn’t believe that during uni, you and Sara would just talk about this and who would have a family first and now, you were helping her set up the bedroom of her first child. It was so surreal. Taking the knife, you sliced through the tape that was on top of the box before opening it. 

“Do me a favor and please don’t spoil her.” Sara mentioned as the two of you read the instructions on how to set the bed up. 

You laughed softly and said, “Yeah, I’m not going to promise that.”

“Don’t give her something that she doesn’t need.” Sara argued. 

“Sara,” You tilted your head, giving her a look. “I’m the cool Aunt in this picture, I’m supposed to be the one who spoils her all the time, and you will get mad at me for doing that, but you’ll just roll your eyes and let me do it anyway.”

“Oh, is that so?” Sara laughed, throwing you one of the plush bunnies that was next to her. 

“Yes, that’s how it works.” You shrugged, “It’s the law.” 

“Yeah, okay.” Sara said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. “They said that she’s really shy, but she’s so sweet once you get to know her.”

You smiled, picking up the screwdriver as you started putting the bed together. “You’re so great with your students, Sara. Now, you’re going to have your own child, and I know that you and Abby will love and take care of her.”

“Yeah, lately, I have been having second thoughts about this and maybe you were right. It’s just nerves. Even Abby tells me that.”

“It is. Even with Abby, I know she will be great. I’m really happy that you two are doing this and have found Elena because I know she deserves the world. You both are entering the next chapter of your lives.” 

“Thank you. We really are, and I couldn’t be more excited and happy about it.” Sara smiled, handing you the screws as the both of you put up the headboard of the bed. “What about you?”

You grunted, getting up from the floor and moved the bed in the corner of the room. “What about me?”

“How are you and Joe?”

You sighed and set your hands on your hips as you looked at the bed that the two of you just put together. Who knew you could do this with patience since you usually were frustrated whenever you put together a furniture. 

Maybe because your patience has been tested lately. 

“It’s the same thing every week.” You shook your head and watched Sara pick up the box with the bedsheets in it. “For some reason, he isn’t even paying attention to Ivy anymore.”

“What?!” Sara gasped, dropping the box on your feet.

“Ow!” 

“Sorry! Sorry…” Sara scrunched her face as she picked up the box that she dropped. “Why are you still fake dating him if he doesn’t want Ivy anymore?”

If only Sara knew how many times you have asked yourself that the past two weeks or so. You honestly didn’t know why, and you have been wanting to ask Joe, but he was never home during the week. You didn’t know what he was doing out there, and you kept telling yourself that he was with Ivy. That he was staying over at her house, but you didn’t even know if that was true too. Then, when the weekends came, you would try and talk to him but there were too many people around the both of you all the time. There was never a good time. 

“I don’t know.” You shrugged. “Honestly, I sort of want this to be over because sometimes, I feel like an idiot sitting there alone at the bar, while he made out with Ivy at the back.”

“He’s doing what?!” Sara’s eyes widened. 

“He hasn’t done it in a while when we go out during the weekends.”

Seriously, why were you even defending him?

“But he’s never home, so I figured he’s over there doing whatever he’s doing with her, and it still makes me feel like shit because even if all of this is fake, I’m still the girlfriend everyone sees.” 

You sighed and pulled up one of the chairs that was in the corner. “I’m still the girlfriend everyone sees and the girl who looks like an idiot, acting like she doesn’t know her boyfriend is basically kissing someone else at the back alley, while she’s sitting inside the pub alone.”

“Don’t you think it’s time to stop this?” Sara crossed her arms on her chest. “I feel like this has gone way too far.” 

Your silence was loud as Sara saw the hesitation in your eyes. Honestly, you weren’t even sure as to why you were hesitating because it was a simple thing, right? You weren’t comfortable about this anymore, so you should stop it. So, what was holding you back? Why were you okay with all of this even if it was making you feel like shit? 

“Unless…” Sara interrupted your thoughts. “There’s another reason why you don’t want this to be over.”

“No,” You shook your head, swallowing the last bit of pride you have left. “I just know that it will be over soon, so I just have to see through the end of it.”

“Okay.” Sara exhaled sharply, knowing she couldn’t convince you to stop this. “Well, maybe while Joe is busy with Ivy, you could try and go out there again? I haven’t seen you try with someone for a long time or even go to the pub and talk to someone.”

“I don’t know…” You shrugged. 

At this point, you were seriously questioning yourself as to why you were even hesitating over this suggestion. You would usually agree and go for it. It wasn’t like going out there was something new in your life. That was what you did before this whole plan happened. You would go to the pub, talk to someone, hook up with them sometimes but no strings attached. 

So, why were you hesitating? Was there a part of you that you sort of didn’t want to do that anymore? That you were over just hooking up with someone? That maybe you wanted to actually have a real relationship?

Maybe. 

If only you weren’t so terrified by the idea of it.

“It doesn’t have to be anything serious. I just want you to go out there and see that there’s so much more than what you’re doing right now with Joe.” Sara added.

“Yeah, I know.” You murmured. “Thanks.”

Sara always knew what to say and even if you didn’t want to hear the truth, you were also glad that she was always there to say it to you with no hesitation. On your way home later that night, you sat in the tube and revisited the suggestion that Sara mentioned earlier. Going to a pub and talking to someone other than Joe was better, right? 

You gazed down at your phone that was sitting on your lap as it buzzed and a message from Joe appeared on the screen. 

Going home soon?

You couldn’t help but contemplate if he was asking you that question because he had plans to go see Ivy again, and he was about to drag you with him again or if it was something else. Staring at the text, you didn’t know if you should reply back or not. You didn’t even know if you wanted to see him tonight. You’ve been seeing him too much lately. Your phone buzzed again after a few minutes and another text from Joe appeared on your screen. 

I’m bored. Wanna hang? A movie and pizza? The usual.

The thought of it made your stomach twist and turn again in a good way, but it also made you want to distance yourself more with Joe. You haven’t done a movie and pizza on a Saturday night in a long time and if you were being honest, you sort of missed it. You missed when you two could just sit on the sofa and act like normal flatmates but now, you didn't even know anymore if you could act normal like before. It made you wish you would stop thinking like this as you scolded yourself internally to stop acting up because all of this was just an act, and it would be over soon. 

You wish it was over now. 

Then, your phone buzzed again and this time, it was a text from Abby. You opened the message and saw a screenshot of a post on Instagram where fans were saying that you and Joe were cute together and wondering who you were. A “mystery” girl was what they called you. You stared at the photo of you and Joe during the Dior event just talking by the bar and laughing. It was one of those moments that night where you felt normal with him. Moments where you felt like you didn’t have to pretend and just be yourself, and he was fine with it. He liked your jokes and laughed at them. It wasn’t even a conversation about Ivy or anything. It was just a normal conversation about the event and getting to know each other. 

Then, the sudden overwhelming feeling that washed over you made you exit the text and went back to Joe’s text message. Staring at it, you couldn’t make up your mind whether you should go home now and spend the rest of the night watching a movie and eating pizza with Joe, while these emotions inside of you slowly killed you, or listen to Sara’s suggestion and finally try to break out of this for once and go out there and meet someone new. 

Sorry. I’ll be home late. 

You sent the text to Joe as soon as you exited the tube. There was no way you were going home now and going back to Sara and Abby’s place was no option either. You were already here, and you thought maybe you should take Sara’s advice for once and go out there. Besides, it really has been a while since you went out and met some new people. Who knows, maybe you could kill this feeling that had been circling inside of you.

Walking down the street, you stopped by at one of the pubs that was near your flat and found the place busy. 

Perfect. 

You sat by the bar and ordered yourself a drink, your eyes scanning the room. Unfortunately, everyone seemed to be in their own little conversations. There wasn’t anyone you could just walk up and talk to. Your agenda for tonight was to talk to someone and maybe flirt a little. Even if part of you sort of didn’t want to, you wanted to prove to yourself that you were just too preoccupied with your agreement with Joe that was why you kept having these weird emotions inside of you lately. 

That was it. That was the only reason why. 

However, your little plan wasn’t going too well as you ordered yourself another drink later that night. You were just sitting at the bar alone, and you couldn’t help but sigh and scold yourself for being so pathetic.

Seriously, what were you even doing?

This whole plan was just stupid. 

“Getting your mind off of something?” An unfamiliar voice interrupted your thoughts. 

Just when you thought you were unlucky tonight, a handsome man that was sitting next to you had a small smile tugging on his lips. His piercing blue eyes sparkled as he took a sip of his beer. You were so deep in your thoughts that you didn’t even notice he had sat next to you. 

You tilted your head, a flirty smile appeared on your face. “How’d you know that?”

The man shrugged, “I saw you since you walked in tonight, and you looked like you could use a friend. Unless… you are waiting for someone?”

You chuckled softly. “No, I’m not waiting for anyone. It’s just me.” 

“That’s perfect then. I’m Isaac.” The man held out his hand. 

You smiled, shaking his hand as you introduced yourself to him. Isaac was a nice name and maybe this was the universe telling you that Sara was right. You were in the right direction for taking up her advice for once. 

“So, how come a pretty girl like you is all alone here and looking in such a deep thought.” Isaac asked. 

“Oh.” You let out an awkward laugh. “It’s nothing, really.”

“Are you sure?”

Of course not. 

You let out an awkward laugh. “I’m sure. Just zoning out, I guess.”

You could tell Isaac didn’t believe you, but you didn’t care because he wasn’t the solution to your problem, wasn’t? He was just a band aid.

You had one agenda tonight and that was to go out there again just like Sara had advised you to do. You need to go out there and meet new people and maybe find someone good for you. So, you sat there and listened to Isaac talk about himself. You tried your best to not frown the whole time because as much as you were trying hard to really pay attention, you were just bored. It wasn’t like he was a bad guy or anything because he seemed really nice and a good guy unlike the other men you usually meet at the pubs, but you were just not interested at all. 

So, instead, you flirted. 

You flirted to shut him up, and you couldn’t help but think if any of these people online posting about you were looking at you right now and knew what you have been doing with your life, they’d probably call you a slut. At this point, you didn’t care anymore. You were just living your life and those were just labels people tend to put on other people because they got nothing better to do. 

“Do you want to go outside? It’s sort of getting stuffy here.” You said, trailing your hand up to his arm. 

Isaac wasn’t hard to convince as his eyes stared at your hand on his arm before gazing back up at you and nodding his head. Taking your hand in his, he led you out the pub and towards the side of the building where no one could see the both of you. His lips immediately hungrily crashed onto yours as he kissed you. He pressed you against the wall as you let out a soft gasp, his lips trailing down your neck. Your eyes stared up at the night sky, stars twinkling above you as Isaac pulled you closer against him. His soft lips licked and sucked your neck softly, but your mind was somewhere else. You stared up at the night sky and wished on the stars that your feelings for Joe were going to be over soon. When Isaac’s lips found your jawline and then your lips again, you closed your eyes and kissed him back hungrily. 

“Let’s… Let��s go back to my flat.” You whispered, pulling away from him.

You didn’t need to say any more convincing words because Isaac immediately agreed as he took your hand in his and followed you down the street. Isaac had you close to his side the whole time, and you just hoped that Joe wasn’t awake by the time you arrived at your flat. Not that he wasn’t used to you bringing home a man in your flat but for some reason, you didn’t want him to know this time. 

It felt weird just thinking about going home with Isaac, and Joe seeing the two of you.

Not that you cared about his opinion or what he would feel.

Grabbing your keys from your coat pocket, you inserted it in the keyhole of your doorknob, smiling at Isaac as you unlocked the front door.

“Be quiet. My flatmate might be asleep. I don’t want to disturb him.” You whispered, entering your dark and quiet flat. 

Perfect. You thought.

Maybe Joe got bored without you and decided to go out and see Ivy. The thought of him being with her made your stomach turn again as you dragged Isaac down the hall and right before you could even open your bedroom door, Isaac grabbed you by the hips, turning you around and crashing his lips on yours. 

“Shh…” You giggled softly, reaching for the door and opening it as you grabbed him by his collar and pulled him inside your bedroom.

With his foot, Isaac kicked the door close behind him, gentle enough for it to not slam too hard and made a noise. His fingers started working on the buttons of your shirt as he gently pushed you down on the bed and towered over you. Isaac’s knees dug on the mattress on either side of you as you used your elbows to propped yourself up and watched him unbutton your blouse. Sliding your top off, you slid your hand behind his head, pulling him down for a deep and rough kiss. Isaac’s lips trailed down your jawline as you tugged on the hem of his shirt sliding it off of his broad shoulders. 

“Hmm…” You moaned softly, letting his lips trail down between your breasts. 

For a moment, you stared at your ceiling as Isaac sucked on the skin of your neck softly, letting another small gasp escape from you. You felt him smile through the kiss as he slid your bra off and sucked on your nipple, squeezing your other breast with his other hand. You couldn’t help but moan again, closing your eyes as he kissed you again deeply. 

Your mind was spinning as Isaac started unbuttoning your pants, and you didn’t know if it was the alcohol that was running in your system or that your mind started playing tricks because as soon as you pulled away from the kiss and opened your eyes, the blur image of Joe staring right down at you was the only thing that you could see. It was almost like Isaac’s face had glitched in your brain and Joe’s face was now right there in front of you. His chocolate button eyes staring right into yours, and you felt that jar of butterflies open up in your stomach. 

Suddenly, you sobered up quickly. 

“Um…” You used both of your palms on his bare chest to push Isaac away from you. 

“Yea, sweetheart?” Isaac murmured, trying to kiss you on the lips again, but you had turned your head away from him. 

“Um…  hold on.” You slid yourself off your bed, grabbing your bra and blouse and immediately sliding it back on.

What the fuck was happening with you?

“What’s wrong?” Isaac stared at you with worried eyes. 

“I…” You exhaled a sharp breath, picking up Isaac’s clothes from the floor. “I think you should go.”

“Did I do something wrong?”

The poor man. 

It wasn’t him who was the problem. It was you.

If only he could understand what was going through your head right now, but you needed this to stop because what the fuck was that? What the fuck just happened? You didn’t even got the chance to answer him because you were shoving his clothes in his arms, shoved him out of your room and out the door. Isaac was barely putting on his shirt when you closed the door to his face and immediately slid your back on the door. 

“What the fuck?” You cursed under your breath, burying your face in your hands. 

This has never happened to you before. With anyone… ever.

You didn’t feel anything but frustration and confusion. You didn’t even realize how frustrated you were until your hands had slid off your face and your mascara had stained your palms. Tears were rolling down your cheeks because how could you feel this way? Joe only wanted Ivy and that was the plan in the first place. This whole emotional mess you were feeling wasn’t part of it. You were only playing a part. Acting. Pretending. 

That was it. 

You didn’t have the right to feel alone and insulted over Ivy’s friends’ opinion because you were only pretending. 

They didn’t know the real truth,  

You didn’t have the right to feel this way about Joe because all of this was just acting. All of this was fake. You never had to deal with emotions like these before, and you didn’t know what to do with them. You didn’t know if you were just getting carried away by the show that you and Joe kept putting on almost every weekend or all of this was now real.

At this point, jumping off of something tall would hurt less, honestly.

Wiping the mascara filled tears that were staining your cheeks, you slowly pulled your legs close to your chest, your arms wrapping around them as you laid your head on your knees. Even if you told yourself many times that you were fine, and you could do this, how come it still made you feel so alone? Why did it made you feel like shit? Why did you have to agree with this plan in the first place? You were such an idiot. Now look at you.

A godforsaken mess for someone whose eyes were only for one woman, and that woman wasn’t even you. 

This whole thing needed to be stopped. 

Taglist:

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[cyanide-latte]

Honestly the most gratifying thing about my undercut that doesn't have to do with gender is that now I actually get genuine compliments on my hair.

I have naturally very curly hair. It is also very dark but has been steadily turning white since I was 15 (I'll be 35 in October.) I've had it long before, and most often in my life I've had it cut very short in a boyish style.

And my entire life, the comment I heard most was "is your hair naturally curly?" (always said with a dubious tone even when I was little, because I guess other 5-year-olds must have been getting perms) And it's usually always followed by "I wish I had hair like that, I'd kill for your hair" or some variation thereof.

I was told this was a compliment. As an autistic child who hated my curls for the longest time, this frustrated me. It never sounded like a compliment, it never felt like a compliment, and if they wanted my hair so bad, they ought to find a way to trade with me.

As I got older, into my late teens and early twenties, I made peace with the curls, even though I still got those same "compliments". But since I'd been getting increasingly white hair since age 15, they were now accompanied by people criticizing my "highlight job" and my choice to "mix in blonde". Looking people square in the eyes and saying "I don't have highlights, my hair's just been going white since I was 15" usually got semi-gratifying results when people backpedaled like hell, but a lot of them also would then criticize me for not dying the white to hide it.

I was constantly trying to alter my style for my hair my entire life and I don't even like styling my hair, but it caused me no end of upset to hear these things. I figured I was always doomed to be miserable about my hair. My body is already sensitive as hell to so many things I can only use specific products on my hair safely, but it hurt that my mother and grandmother tried so hard to help me understand people did like my hair, when the comments I heard sounded like criticism and an insinuation that other people deserved my hair.

And then 2020's COVID lockdown meant I couldn't get my summer cut to shorten my hair so I wouldn't overheat. At least, the person I usually went to couldn't do my hair.

So between desperation to find a way to keep all the weight of thick, heat-trapping dark curls off my neck and shoulders, and the desire to try something new as a subtle means of better expressing my gender, I decided to try an undercut. My partner and I looked up photos for reference, used an electric razor that was typically reserved for his hair, and decided what to do. Several layers underneath in the back would have to be shaved off completely (more than we initially anticipated, believe it or not,) and I wanted the shave to come around my left side. Just shave the left half of my head, because for some reason heat would constantly get trapped there as well as at the back of my neck. (Dunno why that didn't happen the same way with my right side, but hey, we've established I'm pretty odd.)

It was a relief, both physically and in terms of gender euphoria when I looked in the mirror and heard my partner's loving exclamation of "oh! there you are!" And it was also a relief when my mother and grandmother loved my new hair, especially when my grandmother said "that suits you best of all. You should always keep your hair that way." (Grandma passed in February of this year, and she never wavered in her love of my new hairstyle.)

But then, it started happening. Not just with family, friends and coworkers, but random strangers, at least once a week, often more than once a week. Someone would come up to me and say "I LOVE your hair! It's so cool!" I'd never heard that before.

I have quickly learned an added benefit of the undercut is that, with the left side of my head being shaved, it's incredibly easy for people to realize that my hair IS naturally curly, and to see my white pattern where my hair is growing back in on that side. And I've gotten compliments on that too! Both people talking about how dynamic my curls make the undercut, and several others telling me that my white pattern is beautiful and they hope I never think to dye it.

It's slowed down a bit since then but it still happens every couple of weeks. A little while ago at work, a regular [teen] patient came in with her mom, who approached me to ask about my undercut because she (the mom) has been hesitant to let her child try an undercut, but on seeing my hair, she changed her mind and wanted to know about my experience. Said kid still doesn't have an undercut yet, but they've been changing up their hair and presenting more queer in their dress, and they've started shyly waving to me when they see me. And yesterday, during grocery shopping, as I was waiting for my partner to get back from grabbing something, an older lady slowed down, came over to me, and just said "Excuse me, pardon me, you just have the most beautiful hair. That style is so striking, and your curls are wonderful with it. That's all. I just wanted to tell you you have gorgeous hair" and then she left.

It's so strange how that impulsive choice to take a shot on a new style not only became something I love for me and my personal expression of self, but is the thing that finally, truly has brought me compliments on my hair for the first time in my life. Real compliments that make me feel good.

So I guess what I'm saying in this overly long ramble is 1: I'm forever grateful this has happened and is happening to me, 2: for anyone struggling with similar, this is a reassurance that things can and will get better, 3: change can be terrifying but this is a very good example of a drastic change that wasn't going to have harmful repercussions for me personally, and the fact it turned out so well is both a confidence- and courage-booster. It's worth taking a shot on, because so far it's brought me nothing but joy. Sure, it requires frequent maintenance to keep up with the shaving part because my hair grows fast, but it's a small price to pay for a cooler head (in more than one sense!) and the positive interactions that have resulted.

[violetswritingg]

Thunderstruck

Tyler Owens x OFC!

Description: When cowgirl meets cowboy after a year of no-contact and chaos ensues during storm season!

Rating: M (Mentions of blood and death in Tornadoes and storms alike, angst and loss of loved ones, car accidents, Tornado aftermath, and injury to characters, slight age gap (5 years))

Hey! I don't normally post my writing on here, I'm normally only on Wattpad but I decided to cross post and so here is the first of many fics to be moved over here and enjoyed as well! I hope you guys enjoy the story, I honestly have no idea who many chapters this is going to be lol.

Want to read the other chapters?

Click here

1

April, 2005

Oklahoma

The sound of silverware on plates was all that could be heard, but that was normal for a Thornton-Harding-St. James family dinner. Nathan and Juliette had been tense all dinner barely saying a word to each other. All since Jo and Bill had arrived all smiles. The women's mother Michelle, and both Jo and Bill watching the parents as if they were an active bomb ready to go off at any moment. Nathan was at least trying. Smiling, as best he could, and making polite conversation when prompted, the father mainly focused on Riley who sat on his other side. Making sure she wasn't playing with her food.

At six she should know better, and he needed to teach her it was rude to waste the food someone had worked really hard to make for them. But now that the food had been eaten, there wasn't much distraction left to hide behind.

"Uh, so, Julie, how's Riley been doing in school?" Jo tried; she really did. But Juliette was mean on a good day and that day was not today. The empty wine glass next to her being her fourth, and once she got to drinking her temper just got worse.

"She's doing fine." Juliette sniffed as she sat up straighter, a forced smile on her face. Eyes narrowed as she settled into a defensive position. "Why?"

"No reason, just making conversation." Jo sighed, looking at Bill for a second before meeting Nathan's grimaced grin. Trying not to cause a scene in front of everybody was taking all his will power, wanting nothing more than to snap at Juliette and shake her. Hoping that would maybe change her entire personality, the one he hadn't seen until she was telling him she was pregnant and that it was his all those years ago.

"Right." Juliette scoffed, "You have no right to judge me, you don't even have a kid!" her jaw snapped shut, eyes blistering as she spat her words at her older sister. Jo tensed up and Riley had started to pay attention to the adults at the table instead of finishing her little slice of pie. Nathan wanted to crawl into a hole and die, take Riley with him far far away from Juliette. Riley loved Jo and Bill though and he couldn't just do that. Michelle was over the moon when she found out she was going to have a grandbaby, she's 75 now and doesn't have a lot of time left to spend with anyone, much less Riley, not with how her health had been declining recently. The stress of living in Tornado alley having taken its toll after her husband was taken in that fateful storm.

Riley was her whole world. Michelle watched her when Nathan, Bill, and Jo were out storm chasing. Juliette, even though she lived in the same house, the Harding family farm. Being rebuilt on the same land, Michelle couldn't bare to leave it behind after the original house was destroyed. Riley didn't mind it, even though she missed her dad, she loved getting to hang out with Grandma. They were like best friends. But Nathan had needed to start taking Riley with him and his team because of her health issues, and because he knew that Juliette would leave Riley to her own devices for however long he was gone, the almost 6 year old hanging out in the tech van usually a couple miles behind him and always a safe distance from the storm in pursuit.

"I am very much aware of that Juliette." Jo grit out, Bill reaching out an arm around her shoulders, the couple had hit their early 40's, still childless, still chasing. But had been entertaining the idea of settling down after one too many close calls. The topic of having kids was a sensitive one, they had been trying quietly for about a year now and no luck. Something Jo had shared with her sister and Nathan in confidence.

"The food was great Michelle-" Bill tried to move onto another topic, but got blocked.

"I'm not surprised though, I'm sure there's cobwebs up there at this point." Juliette cruelly laughed. "I'm sure Bill will move on to a younger model when he finally realizes you'll never be able to produce."

"Juliette May Thornton! You watch your-"

"What mom?" Juliette turned on Michelle next, the elderly woman sitting taller in her chair, white hair pulled back in a simple style, warm eyes worn and normally full of life. Now though, they only held disappointment in her youngest daughter. "There it is. There's the look. I'm not going to take this; I am not going to be attacked in my own goddamn house." Julliette huffed and pushed out her chair with a sharp scrape against the wood flooring and stomped upstairs.

Nathan let out a deep sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose, as Riley's little voice called out for her mom. Only to be ignored.

"Why don't you go turn on some cartoons okay baby? You got 30 minutes until bedtime, you get one show and then in the bath for you okay?" Nathan picked up his daughter and hauled her into his lap, booping her nose, causing light giggles to erupt.

Riley's dark blonde curls bouncing as she nodded quickly, Nathan setting her on her feet and the adults chuckled as she all but ran. Already hearing the Scooby-doo theme song playing over the air. The tension leaving his shoulders now that the cause of all his stress was no longer in the room.

"I'm sorry." He breathed, "She's been in a bad mood all day, picking fights just because."

"Hey, I grew up with her. If I'm not used to it at this point, then I need a thicker skin." Jo chuckled, despite the hurt still lingering in her eyes.

"Still, what crawled up her ass and died?" Bill scoffed, pulling Jo to his side and pressing a kiss to the side of her head. Nathan watching, his sight going green for a second. That's what he wanted, it's what he didn't know he wanted until he saw it with them, until he had to spend his days attached to Juliette. Riley was the bright spot, the good thing to come out of a shitty situation. Nathan would deal with Juliette every day for the rest of his life as long as he got to see Riley.

"I have been asking myself that question for years Billy." Nathan sighed out, laughing to himself, resigned to dealing with it later.

~~*~~

"What you said at dinner was uncalled for." Nathan puffed out, pulling off pillows from their shared bed. He may as well be sleeping alone though.

"Are you gonna attack me now too Nathanial?" Juliette scoffed, rolling her eyes at him from the bathroom vanity mirror as she got ready for bed. The slight slur to her voice telling him the wine was starting to hit her full force now.

"I'm not attacking you, simply stating you went too far. And that maybe you owe Jo an apology?" He tried, but got nothing but a single, indignant laugh in response.

"You think she's better than me huh? Is that it?!" Nathan hung his head, abandoning the task of making up the bed. He pushed back the tears of frustration and looked back at the woman he was sure he had been in love with, or at the very least liked at one point.

"When have I ever said that?" He started, voice heavy with exhaustion.

"You don't have to say it, you've always liked her better than me. Just like everyone else! I thought you were different!"

"You are 36 years old Juliette! When are you going to let this go?" He never raised his voice when they argued, never wanting Riley to hear, but Juliette seemed to want to wake the whole house which included Jo and Bill who were spending the night before heading out in the morning. Thunder rolled in the distance.

"You aren't denying it! God! I am so stupid! I never should have stayed. Never should have-" She kept muttering under her breath every seeming regret she had as she stormed into the room, yanked open the closet, grabbing a duffle bag from inside and throwing her clothes in it haphazardly. "This place is suffocating! You are suffocating with your judgy eyes and every comment about how I raise Riley-"

"You don't! That's the issue! What are you doing?" Nathan sighed as she plopped the duffle bag on the still made up side of the bed, her side.

"What does it look like. I can't stay here. Not with you or them. All of you just hate on me all the time, look at me like I'm nothing but a disappointment. I'm sorry I'm not perfect! I'm sorry I'm not golden girl Jo!" Juliette finished, throwing an arm towards the door, chest heaving as she zipped up her duffle bag and yanked open the bedroom door. Slamming it shut behind her.

Nathan listened to her as she went down the stairs, taking a breath before he was going after her, repeating over and over she is the mother of your child in his head. When they first met, it was in the middle of storm season and Jo's kid sister decided she wanted to come with her chasing that year, she was just as wild back then. Less mean, less insecure. She was all bright eyes and wide smiles, soft skin and warm affection. Until she got pregnant. That's when everything changed.

"Jules! Jules!" Nathan whisper-shouted, as he tripped down the stairs.

"What's happening?" Bill questioned, opening the door to the guest room on the first floor, in a white t-shirt and his boxers, yawning and scratching his face. Jo's voice behind him asking the same thing, sleep slurring her words though.

"I don't know William, ask your wife." Juliette spit as she past him and Nathan was still trying to get to her.

"Just go back to bed, sorry for waking you-"

"Oh shut up Nathan!"

"Was I talking to you?!" He finally snapped and Bill's mouth dropped, Juliette looked like she had been slapped.

"Well, I never..." Juliette huffed, holding a hand to her chest. Crocodile tears in her eyes, Nathan had seen them enough to know she was just trying to make him feel guilty. It was at that moment that Jo decided to get out of bed and come to the door to see what was going on.

"Bill, Jo, please, go back to bed. We're fine-"

"No! We're not fine. You know this is all your fault? Right?! If I had never gotten pregnant, my life wouldn't be like it is now. Miserable. If I had never met you or had Riley I would be happy. I wish I had never met you! I wish I had gotten rid of the baby, keeping her was a mistake-"

"Hey!-" Nathan could only see red.

"Mommy?"

Everything stopped and it felt like a lead weight had been dropped into Nathan's stomach. He turned around and looked up at the bottom of the stairs, the dirty-blonde head of his daughter, her big blue eyes, his eyes, staring up at her mother with confusion.

It was clear Juliette didn't know what to say, and Nathan was ready to swing if she said anything negative to his kid. There was a tense silence, Riley pulled her blanket and stuffed rabbit closer to her, looking unsure.

"Do you want a hug? You look sad." Riley pattered slowly up to the woman, stopping at her feet and looking up at the much taller adult who had given birth to her. Tugging on her sweatpants gently, looking for a connection. It broke Nathan's heart, knowing Riley would never get that. At least not with Juliette.

"I'm not your mommy anymore." With that Juliette turned on her heel and left. Slamming the front door behind her.

"Daddy?" Riley, with tears in her eyes looked to the man who was instantly there. Picking her up and holding her to him, her tears dampening the shoulder of his t-shirt. "Where did mommy go?"

"I don't know baby. I don't know." With one last look over his shoulder to Bill and Jo, the couple grinning sadly at the father-daughter pair. Nathan doing his best to not shake in anger. Juliette was gone for now, he had to focus on Riley. Make sure she was okay. And so, he took his daughter back up to her room and three bedtime stories, a lullaby, and a forehead kiss later she was back down and snoring softly. Hair sprawled crazily behind her, her favorite dino pj's on, blanket and rabbit next to her.

Nathan's love-filled gaze was like honey, his fingers petting her hair back from her face. When Juliette told him she was pregnant he had been terrified, convinced she was lying. He didn't take it well. He was still in his PhD program, had just been offered a huge grant to keep working on his already existing research, he couldn't see himself able to have a kid without throwing everything he had been working towards his whole life away.

Which wasn't true, he had to defer the grant for a year, finished out that year at school and then dropped out of the PhD program, it killed him, but he couldn't go to school back home in Arkansas if Juliette refused to leave Oklahoma. He may not have wanted the kid in the first place but he was raised right and was going to step up however he had to.

He wanted to be there for Juliette as she carried the baby, support her. She was miserable, she lost close to twenty pounds due to morning sickness and had to be on bed rest for months. It wasn't fun and she was horrible every minute of it. Michelle and him had to walk on eggshells every second of every day, and even then they still would set her off someway somehow. They let it slide during the pregnancy because it was understandable, she was constantly uncomfortable, couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't walk. But after Riley was born the behavior stayed, and only got worse as Riley struggled to breast feed and Juliette struggled to bond with her baby.

The connection with Nathan and Riley had been immediate though and that pissed Juliette off, it was just one more person who hadn't chosen her first. That, in her mind, didn't want her. Nathan suggested therapy but was met with a scoff and another argument about her being scared he was trying to take Riley away from her by claiming she was crazy, which was so not the case.

He could still remember when he first held Riley in the hospital, how perfect she was in every way, and still is. He hadn't ever felt the kind of love he did when he first laid eyes on his daughter, her little fingers wrapped around his pointer finger and his entire heart. She was an easy kid, at least with him. Juliette never seemed to figure out how to calm Riley down when she was fussy or upset, and would get frustrated with her quickly, yelling, berating. Nathan had walked in one time when Riley had gotten a fever and needed one of them up with her at all times, he could have sworn Juliette was about to shake the, then months old Riley, who had been wailing for what felt like hours that night.

He stopped trusting her to be alone with Riley at that moment in time. In the back of his mind he always knew Juliette wasn't going to stick around, she never did when things got hard. Fact of the matter was this had happened before, multiple times, Nathan just hoped that one day Riley wouldn't remember any of this. Or the hurtful words her mom said to her that night.

~~*~~

[kokushibosbestie]

I need to rant guys.

TW: self harm, SA, hatred, cursing, abuse, overall genuinely harsh words are being used

Im just gonna go right in because I don't feel like being vauge or fake rn. (I'm on my period and I feel like shit)

!!!Background information!!! So, when I was 4, my mom started dating this guy. I'll call him Frank. My mom had previously ran away from my dad with me (when I was 2) bc my biological dad was verbally abusive towards her. We'll call my bio dad Austin. I only have one picture of my bio dad and I never knew what he looked like before seeing that picture. I never got to talk to my dad, and if I did, I don't remember a single word. I was too little to understand. I loved his family though. I vividly remember playing with my grandma and aunt, and baking banana bread with my grandpa (on my bio dads side) but I didn't remember a single moment with him. So I feel like I have a missing part of me bc of that.

Anyway, my mom as very depressed after that and did her best to tale care of me properly. But I never got attention or love from her. She was always stuck to her phone. I began to hate even being in the same room as her and I was only 3. When I turned 4, I began going to pre-k. And that's when my mom started dating Frank. Frank was a really kind guy and always seemed calm. But I had a bad feeling about him. I didn't tell my mom because I felt uncomfortable about it, though. Over the next 2-3 years, Frank and I became closer and I enjoyed his presence because I had no one else to lean on. My mom got a job when I was in 1st grade and we moved into an apartment. (We had been living with my aunt on my moms side before).

!!!SA!!! That's when the sa started. He began to assault me when my mother was gone but told me it was normal. He said, quote "This is our little secret. Don't tell anyone or daddy's gonna get in trouble." (I viewed him as a father figure and he used that to his advantage) Nonetheless, what was I, a 5-6 year old girl going to do to a 26 year old man? So I stayed quiet. As I got older, I realized that this wasn't normal at all and it was bad. Of course, I was about 7 when I had this realization. He noticed that and started threatening me that if I told someone, he'd hurt my mom or the rest of my family. (I love my family with my whole heart and he knew that I'd do anything for them, even at such a young age, so he used that) I told him he could do anything he wanted to me as long as he didn't do anything to my mom or the rest of my (small) family.

The summer before 5th grade is when things went really downhill. He TOLD my mom he cheated on her, was contuously gaslighting the both of us, always said he was such a "good guy and people pleaser," but was probably the most toxic person you'd meet. The sweet act was completely gone. I hated him with ever atom and molecule that made me a living thing, but my mom STILL didn't know about what he'd done to me. He got physically violent (throwing things, yelling, screaming, almost hitting my mom, etc) and my mom called the cops. (Mind you, my mom works from home, customer service for a health company).

By the time 5th grade had ended, we had a restraining order against him and he moved out completely. (They broke up but I still hadn't told my mom anything)

I cried almost every night and went into deep depression because of this. Not because I missed him, but because I had still trusted him even after everything. I did love him and view him as a father figure at one point bc I never had one. So having that ripped away from me, as well as my grandpa who moved, my grandma who was having mental issues, my aunts who lived far away and no one else to turn to, I felt empty. My guilt built up until I ended up having a mental breakdown in FRONT of my mom (I always went somewhere private so I could have a mental breakdown and always hid them from my mom). I snapped and accendentally told her about what he'd done to me during all those year. (He sa'd me constantly, whenever he had the chance to). A court case began, blah blah blah same old stuff that ever child abuse court case would go through.

But, I started to self-harm (mostly my legs and hips). I kinda went into my emo faze and had no friends, and was constantly bullied bc of my emotionless facade. (Ex: like giyu, who has been my comfort character since day one bc of that). Really, I'm a loving and kind person who loves making others laugh. I like hanging out with friends. I smile a lot too.

Nonetheless, things started to slowly get better. But my mom is toxic now. She doesn't gaslight like frank did, but she still has a toxicity to her. I know this all has been just as hard on her as it has for me, but I sometimes wish shed just take into consideration how I feel or think.

I have ADHD, OCD, and depression. All of my classes are accelerated classes instead of normal and I get things done faster than other students. (I have an online schooling system now). My brain sometimes can't comprehend some things but will understand easily with others. Ive had a hard time talking or expressing things because of this. I was never a quiet little girl, and I'm still not one as a teenager. But it sucks to have to act like someone I'm not just to fit in. I have constant mood swings and I hate it.

Anyway, this isn't about me. So, my mom has a way of victimizing herself without really pulling the victim card? It's hard to explain with words. But she always leaves whoever she's talking to feeling guilty. She doesn't apologize for anything, she doesn't listen to me when I'm ranting (which I'm not picky about, but sometimes I need someone to talk to that isn't a toxic friend of mine), nor does she ever listen to me when I tell her what I want sometimes. I know that sounds bratty, but I swear it's not. I'll give you and example: she asked me if I wanted a new bedframe and entirely ignored me when I told her. Or when she asks me what I want for dinner and I respond, shell get something else even though she literally came into my room and ASKED me. Its the simple small things that piss me off. She's stubborn and has a hard time putting herself in others' shoes. And me, who's always been told that I'm just a doll with a pretty face and thick thighs that's supposed to be a silent housewife (I am NOT married, that's just something someone has actually said to me) or seggs toy for people to use and throw away as they please, I always try my best to consider how others might feel. Yeah, sometimes I do get a little unreasonable and say some bad things, but I always end up apologizing out of instinct. I apologize for the smallest things for no reason, yet my mom can't even say an "I'm sorry" for telling me I'm not understanding. All I've ever wanted was to make my mom and my family proud. I want them to be able to live their lives happily without worry. So It fucking hurts to hear that I'm not doing good in my moms eyes.

My mom always talks about changing and being a better person but never fucking does it. She always says her job is more important. Am I just genuinely not important to her anymore? Because I remember when I was in my darkest and lowest moments, it was my teachers who helped me. My mom didn't even bat an eye. But when she was at her lowest, struggling, I was always there for her, listening to her problems, helping her with everything, genuinely caring about her. And this is what I get back? I fucking hate my life because I can't even leave my room without hearing her complaints about "adult life." Well I don't give a fuck anymore. I tried too hard to be a good daughter and I never got anything back. I didn't even get a fucking thank you. And now I only have online friends on here and Pinterest. I relied on Character.ai to help with my mental health and that's ai!!

Im sorry if this was too much for any of you and I love each and every one of you. If you read through this whole thing, thank you so much and I really really love all my friends on here. I always look forward to getting on here and talking to you guys about my interests without being judged or bullied. Thank you thank you thank you soooo much my loves.

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