#buying things at the book fair makes so much more sense now

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

I just looked at the price on the back of a book I’ve had for a bit over a decade and it was four. fucking. dollars. Just four with no taxes. No extra 97cents or something before taxes. Just a round number that you would add taxes to.

I googled the price of a new edition and it was almost thirteen! Not an even thirteen, it was like 12.96 or something. Close enough that it’s basically thirteen but if you’re adding multiple items together to try and get the price on a purchase with more items it would add more confusion.

[crimson-and-clover-1717]

I can’t agree more with the recent posts (here and here) which state Stede’s becoming a pirate was never about piracy. Stede mostly feels happiness when he’s reading his books, which are likely tales of the high seas. He also feels happy when playing make-believe. The pirate stories are a stimulus for this, and it does seem to be one of the ways he best engages with his children. Outside of that, Stede feels suffocated within his own life to the point he almost can’t go on.

Stede thinks piracy’s the thing. It’s the same connection Ed makes over engaging with feelings and fishing. Because he achieves some sort of zen and sense of worth that day on the boat with Fang, Ed thinks it’s the fishing itself which makes him content; it was more likely the company and conversation, however, with fishing a secondary vehicle helping quieten his mind and beginning to raise his self esteem.

Similarly, what Stede actually wants is not so much to be a pirate, but to experience the feelings he thinks piracy will bring. He wants a sense of belonging and community in which he feels validated as a person. And he wants this community to play, have fun, include him. Stede wants to be a good pirate captain because succeeding will make him a person of worth. Piracy is the borrowed theme to deal with the underlying issues of inadequacy and loneliness.

Stede creates his own niche pirate subculture which aims to reinforces his strengths. It’s a blown-up version of the dining-room pirate play with his children. This is his world now, a playground in which finally he gets to make the rules - not like school, not like Bridgetown society. Stede’s law dictates: kindness is powerful; art and culture are important and healing; and people will like and want to play with him, because he’s people-positive and fair. And he might even get to change traditional piracy by example!

Stede has the time and resources to create this world. He’s like a celeb who builds some sort of Xanadu pleasure palace and buys in friends. Yet Stede fails to recognise at first that real piracy is quite a dangerous game, and his new ‘friends’ don’t initially want to play with him despite the guaranteed wages. They want to kill him, actually. But Stede is a good pirate in his own way, which is why he keeps outwitting certain traditional pirates, and by 109 has won the crew round with his kindness. In fact, Stede would likely be good at any job requiring a unique ability to think outside the box. Piracy though isn’t that job longterm, and it is not the instrument to build continued self-worth and happiness.

What really turns Stede’s life around is the ‘unbought’ friend who sees and values him without strings attached. Someone who lets him be, celebrates his idiosyncrasies, matches his gender nonconformity. This lovely someone who is creative, funny, desperate to play too, and just gets him. And Stede, of course, gets him back tenfold.

It was never about piracy. Piracy was a placeholder. Stede gets more than he ever dreamed of in Ed Teach.

@piratecaptainscaptainpirates @sherlockig

Thanks for the thinky-thoughts

[olderthannetfic]

Maybe I'm just dumb and uneducated, but the publishing world just sounds a bit like a scam. Not in the traditional sense, but more in the sense that everyone for some reason thinks they'll make the break through so you should aim to get a publishing deal because you might end up being the next big star! You'll be the one who's books will lead to having a movie made*, you'll get the merch, the comics, the games, you'll be lauded and remembered for your writing and how YOU changed the publishing world. You just need to be a human machine who managed to write exactly what the publishing chefs at the top want. Please keep individuality to a minimum. In reality you might get a boost in money maybe if your book ever gets deigned to be bought up, how much is the average? 10-20K? Everything after that is just dead air. You will probably never be able to survive on the royalties, your book is most likely gonna end up side by side with books with the exact same premise as yours, because publishing prefers just copy pasting the same things over and over. Maybe you'll be the rare "token" #NotLikeOtherBooks that's there to test the waters for the next big trend, but most likely not, because those spots are for nepotism publications or big social media names. Oh but maybe you'll be the super big social media star who managed to get a huge social media following, so maybe you'll get a publishing deal that way, not because you're a good writer, but because you already got an audience. Oh the writing of this famous person is subpar? Oh who cares, just buy their book, we can sell with their name! While you're at it, do all the advertisement yourself, we don't really want to bother anymore. What do you expect us to do? Actually promote your book? Pfff, do that yourself. Oh you don't have social media? Welp, goodbye!

*from what I've seen studios might buy movie deals but that just means they'll keep the right to making a movie, not that there ever will be a movie, and you obviously lose the tiny nugget of chance that another studio does it.

--

I think you're being unduly pessimistic, not because this stuff isn't true of publishing but because this is how most sexy jobs work.

You become an accountant because the pay is steady. You might also enjoy it, but it's not one of those sexy jobs with a zillion people flinging themselves at the opportunity to be perpetually underpaid. Most arts jobs and a fair number of other over-mythologized ones, however, are in this same category where people have romantic ideas that they'll be the lone success... and they won't be.

Sure, it's sad that the dream of buying a mansion from your book royalties is out of reach, but... lots of life is like this? I don't think it's a big deal.

--

Now, as for the movie deal thing, you've misunderstood that one totally. What studios buy is options. That means they're tying up your movie rights for a few years so nobody else can have them.

The key feature here is that options run out.

If you keep being successful for a long time, you can sell an option on the same work over and over and over. It's a great deal for the author!

The chance that your thing will actually be made and that, if it is made, the adaptation won't be an absolute abomination is low. It's not worth worrying about. (If you want to make movies, go pursue that, not book writing.) But that sweet, sweet option money is great if you can get it.

--

A lot of people like to get huffy about how "good" books don't sell and "bad" books do, but this is short-sighted nonsense.

Like other commercial art, a good marketing campaign can sell an inferior product, but a lot of what makes the difference is a book being appealing or not. Yes, yes, the plebes have bad taste, boo hoo. More people want to buy a romance novel than a very depressing and dense literary one in general. News at 11.

But for every genuinely shitty book with a lot of buzz, there are a number of solid genre fiction works that are obviously fun for the audience for that genre.

Celebrity memoir sells, sure, but the majority of novels aren't by famous people. There are some gimmick books on the market, including, yes, novels by social media stars, but a lot of "bad" books sell because people just actually do want a Wattpad-sounding crap romance with an alphahole dude and a girl who's pretty when she takes her glasses off—or whatever other cliche you can name.

--

Like other products, books benefit from a strong brand. An author who's been writing for years is more of a sure thing. As a reader, one has limited time and energy to vet newbies.

This is sad for us as authors, but think about it as a reader! How much of your free time do you want to spend magnanimously giving a chance to people who are probably wasting your time vs. picking up something you know you'll enjoy?

And also from a reader's perspective, I don't want surprises. Sure, I don't want a book that's so predictable it's boring, but when I pick up a romance novel, I want a happy ending. When I pick up a mystery novel, I want the mystery to get solved. When I'm reading on AO3, I expect your ship tags to be accurate.

It's a great mistake to focus on how ~nobody likes originality~. This is just pretentious art student puffery that ignores how normal human tastes and emotions work. People with this attitude are ill-suited for creative professions.

--

I think that, in general, most publishing pros, whether authors or not, are fairly up front that it's hard to live on royalties and that most authors have day jobs. This isn't new. It's something people have been trying to educate prospective authors on for decades.

I'd blame starry-eyed outsiders for these kinds of misconceptions more than I'd blame the industry.

I do support trying to inform hopefuls about the realities of choosing this as a career though. They need to know they're not going to be making rent money in most markets on writing alone.

--

All of that said, the two big changes that I do see are a couple of things related to publishing companies getting ever more beholden to corporate overlords. The profit margin has always been slim, and this can be an issue when the bean counters are too involved.

First, editorial standards have slipped a lot. 1990s trash fiction did often get at least a little bit of developmental editing from the publisher. 2020s trash fiction might get that from an agent, but often, it's expected that an author shows up with a publication-ready manuscript.

I think the idea that the publisher wanted to sit around with their thumb up their ass workshopping your baby forever was unrealistic even back in the day, but there has been a change and most people acknowledge it. I've also seen way worse basic proofreading in recent books that I don't see in used books from years ago. It's still rare to see many errors because publishers do provide this type of editing, they're good at it, and correctness is far more objective than for developmental editing, but I used to see basically zero typos and malapropisms in big publishers' books, and that is no longer true.

I'm no insider, but from what I hear, the basic issue is that publishers are being squeezed and they just don't have time or budget to do more than cursory editing now compared to some times in the past. (Of course, plenty of greats did come out of the world of pulp fiction, and I'm sure that was edited in ten seconds too, so...)

Second, yes, publishers offer very little in the way of marketing help, book tours, etc. now and expect a lot from authors. Again, I gather they're being squeezed.

It's that latter issue that made me just not bother to pursue traditional publishing. I don't trust them to understand BL-y type aesthetics in most cases. I don't want to write books within the word count that is most profitable in traditional print. And I really, really don't want to be asked to do marketing within specific parameters while not being given access to timely sales data like a normal marketer who works for the publisher or a selfpub author would have.

--

But all in all, people who work in publishing are not the enemy. They like books. If they have to make some commercial decisions over artistic ones or bow to popular tastes you don't like... well, that's life.

[aeligsido]

practice date

(so I got his idea and had to like, write it a bit. I may end up reworking it a bit and posting it on ao3 later if I feel like it. No particular two — just Remus being oblivious and Sirius, for once, missing the writing on the wall lmao.)

-

It all started because of fucking Frank Longbottom. He didn't know how or why, but Frank took Remus out on a date once during their fourth year — right before Frank and Alice started dating, too — and after that, Remus somehow became the most eligible person in all of Hogwarts. Even Slytherins ended up victims of this pandemic.

It pissed Sirius off. Remus was a kind person, sure, and adorable and pretty and smart and gentle and with a humor to die for and so much more mischievous than at first glance and definitely more than date worthy; but for some reason, those people only ever took him out once and then broke it off immediately after. They even started dating other people after! Properly dating, even, not just a trip to Hogsmeade followed by a goodbye-see-you-never, like they did to Remus. It wasn't fair. Remus deserved better than that — he deserved to be taken care of, to have someone to hold his hand and go to the bookstore with him and buy him his favorite apple pie. Not... that.

(Sirius could be this person for Remus.)

Last time, he went with Mary — again, because she was the exception to the rule and often went out with him without deeming him worthy to give him the title of boyfriend. Well. Five times. Five times was a lot! But, last time — last time they went to Madam Puddifoot together once more, but were back laughing at the Three Broomsticks pretty soon in the day, joining them for the rest of the trip. When they separated in the common room, Mary had kissed his cheek and thanked him with a sweet smile, but yet again nothing came out of it.

Sirius was pretty angry at her — at all of them, really. Why did they all feel necessary to play with Remus' heart like that?

He was sitting on his bed, now, on the eve of a new Hogsmead's weekend, angrily wondering who was taking Moony out this time — and perhaps who will be the next target of his pranks. James was going in and out of the bathroom, apparently doing a skincare routine (or something of the like) that managed to take longer than his usual morning routine. Peter was sitting on his bed as well, books open before him, taking notes probably for some homework. Remus was putting on the good shirt he usually wears for his dates.

"So," he started, gripping his pillow tightly. "Going out again, Moony?"

"Hm?" Remus raised his head to address him with a smile. "Yeah, I think it'll be fun."

He was always saying that.

"Who you're going with?"

"Me!" cheered James from the bathroom door.

Sirius blinked. Because, he couldn't have heard that — right? James — his best friend, the other half of his soul — could not do that to him, to Remus?

Peter looked up, suddenly more interested.

Remus smiled indulgently. "Hence the it's going to be fun, you know?"

"But—" Sirius didn't have the time to formulate everything in him — the pit in his stomach and in his heart and the bubbling, ugly feelings taking a hold on his throat — that Moony was already interrupting him.

"Don't worry, Pads. I'll send him back to you at five o'clock sharp." He winked, then, as if it was Sirius' concern at the moment.

"I've been told Moony's the best at it," continued James, apparently ignoring the chaos choking Sirius up. "Our boy comes highly recommended!" He blew up a kiss in Remus' direction, who just shook his head fondly.

"Recommended?" Sirius finally croaked out, trying to make sense of the whole thing.

James properly got out of the bathroom, then, taking a look at him with concern on his face. "You know? For the practice date? Before my real date with Lily next week?" His expression turned dreamy for a moment. "I can't believe I have a date with her," he sighed happily.

Shuffling closer to them, Remus lowered his voice. "I have a practice date with Lily after James. She was pretty anxious when she asked me." He smiled, then, again, as if nothing could make him happier than being a practice date.

Was that what he had been doing this whole time? Giving people practice dates?

Sirius frowned. Remus having so many one-time dates didn't sit well with him, but having so many practice dates didn't seem really fair either.

"How many were real?"

"How many what were real?" asked Remus, confused.

"You know, the dates."

Remus let out a short, surprised laugh. Sirius pursued his lips, unamused, and Remus calmed down at his unusual gravity.

"None? It's not like anyone would want to really date me, anyway." He gestured to himself, as if it was explanation enough — which it wasn't, Sirius wanted to date this whole... Remusness, thank you very much. Remus was amazing, why wouldn't people want to date him?

Sirius couldn't answer — it didn't know if he could actually say anything to that. Remus got distracted by James, anyway, and soon they were leaving them behind for their practice date.

Sirius put his face into his pillow and let out an angry yell.

From his bed, Peter turned a page of his book, utterly unbothered but still a cheeky bastard. The clear amusement in his next words was proof enough of it.

"So, do you want me to be your practice date for when Moony'll realize you're trying to ask him out, or you'll take Prongs?"

Sirius threw the pillow at him.

[liv-does-stuff]

“Happy Birtday Dumbass”

Hasan Piker X Reader

Warning:cussing but that’s it

A/n: I’m so sorry for whatever this bullshit is I’m high asf right now and I proof read this as best as I could.

————////———-////———-////———-

You and Hasan rarely fought. Yes you argued over trivial things sometimes, but you could count on your fingers the amount of times you actually had a bad fight and boy was this a bad fight. It all started Monday, you had spent the whole summer so far trying to help your best friend move down to North Carolina, God knows why, with you being away for the a few months you had seen Hasan only a few times through June and July , but you made sure you would be there for his birthday. Now you may be wondering where the fighting came in and here’s the answer. One night you had been on the phone with your boyfriend, trying to find a cheap flight, but they were all pricey.

“Y/n don’t worry if it’s that big of a deal I’ll just buy the ticket.” Hasan said tired of your complaining. You were quick to shoot that down by saying, “Oh absolutely not It’s supposed to be your birthday party and I would feel bad if you bought the ticket.” He sighed, “Y/n, could just stop complaining then, I’m trying to be nice, but you’ve literally just bitched this whole call.” Normally Hasan wouldn’t have said something like this to 𝘺𝘰𝘶, but today had stressed him out, his stream was glitching and Austin was late to the podcast and it threw everything off. He never meant to bring his anger out on you, but he had and you weren’t about to take that, “Excuse me”, you said taken aback by his change in tone, “I’m so sorry that I was trying to do something nice for your fuckin birthday and yea what if I started complaining? These Flights aren’t cheap and it’s frustrating !” He sighed into the phone, “Then don’t come”, he said lowly. “What are you even saying?” You said quietly. “If it’s such an inconvenience the don’t show up.” He stated. You hadn’t meant to say it, but you did, “Fine”, you hung up the phone with a sigh.

2 days had past and Hasan hadn’t reached out. Too be fair you hadn’t either, but even so you still planned on making it to his party, which is why you were up at 3 am trying to book a flight for tomorrow and finally you got a good deal. Hasan was having a dinner around 7 with his friends and your flight landed at 5:30 so you decided to make a call.

“Hey Austin I need your help.” You said after he picked up on the 4th ring.

“Y/n what the fuck I was asleep!?” He said groggily trying to make sense of why you were calling.

“So yea can you pick me up and take me with you tomorrow?” You asked after explaining everything that had happened.

“Of course y/n/n, but seriously if you wake me up like this one more time I’ll beat you ass.” You snorted as he said that. After a few more minutes of talking you said bye and hung up.

After your plane landed you went to look for Austin and once you made eye contact you ran up and hugged him. “Oh my god I missed you so much bitch!” You both laughed. He broke the hug and led you to the car. You were nervous to say the least, you didn’t know if Hasan would still be pissed or if he would be happy to see you. You really didn’t want to ruin his birthday for him. Austin seemed to notice your worrying because he looked at you and said, “Don’t worry y/n he misses you he just wants to give you space.” You nodded and soon the conversation drifted off into how Austin’s love life was going which made the drive go by quicker, and soon you were parked at Hasans house. God you missed this place. Austin ran up the door, knocked and shouted, “Hasan it’s Austin I brought you an amazing present.” The door began to open, “Austin why the fuck are you thirty minutes la- y/n?” Hasan locked eyes with you, you wanted to hug him and run your hands through his curls right there, but you resisted. Austin walked into the house and winked at you. Hasan shut the door and you immediately fell into him not caring if he was mad or not you just needed him, he wrapped his arms around you. “Y/n I thought you weren’t gonna come.” He sighed. You looked up at him, “Hasan I’m so sorr-“, he cut you off, “No I am you didn’t do anything I was just being a dick.” You laughed, “Yea you kinda were.” He smiled and you got on your tip toes to kiss him. You giggled into the kiss and he whispered, “I love you”

“Happy birthday dumbass.”

[pluckyredhead]

It's time for more Fourth World thoughts! Previously I've covered the comics of the 70s, 80s, and 90s. Now let's talk about the 2000s.

Orion (2000): AHHHHHHH. If you read no other Fourth World book (besides Kirby ofc), please read this one. It is so good and it is so epic and Orion makes so many well intentioned bad decisions and suffers so much. I devoured all 25 issues in 2 days and immediately wanted to reread it. Writing and art are both Walt Simonson and he gives this book such tragic grandeur. He also does my favorite thing which is multiple slow-burning subplots, some of which lasted so long that I was afraid they wouldn't be resolved, but no, every loose end is wrapped up in a satisfying (ish) way by the last issue and I love everyone in this bar. And the art! THE ART!!!

So basically, Orion kills Darkseid (again lol) and becomes the new ruler of Apokolips, and decides he is going to drag this planet over to the side of good kicking and screaming, which...doesn't work out so well for him. Ultimately he winds up semi-accidentally in possession of the Anti-Life Equation, which allows him to completely control people, so he uses it to force people to be good, which...baby, no. This series is like 40% Orion whump, 35% Orion being a badass, 5% Lightray and Orion being blatantly in love, 5% Scott and Orion making dramatic gestures of brotherly devotion, and 5% Orion wearing a stupid hat that I unironically wish I could buy and wear.

It looks like his helmet! I NEED IT.

Also, during his Stupid Hat Era, Orion briefly acquires an orphan girl sidekick, and like...look at my icon. This is my GREATEST WEAKNESS. Simonson, why did you come for me like that???

I have only two quibbles with this series:

1. It's the early 2000s so the only female characters of any significance (besides the aforementioned orphan girl sidekick) are femme fatales who are drawn in ludicrously skimpy outfits and sex inch heels. Now to be fair, Darkseid wears a miniskirt, but the degree of cheesecake of these two characters was ridiculous.

2. The last issue reveals that Scott possesses the Anti-Life Equation naturally, and he once accidentally killed dozens of people with it, and he's tormented by both of these things. Which...the actual issue this story is told in is really good, and I think it's a really interesting idea to have Scott possess the Equation, but I don't love the idea of weighing down this optimistic character who values freedom above all with such a traumatic history of, uh, accidental mass murder. He already grew up in a torture orphanage! Hasn't he suffered enough?!

But honestly, the overall series is so good that I'll let it slide. PLEASE READ ORION (2000). THANK YOU.

Seven Soldiers: Mister Miracle (2005): This is part of a set of miniseries Grant Morrison did: there was Seven Soldiers #0, and then 7 4-issue minis, one for each of the Soldiers, and then the whole story concluded in Seven Soldiers #1. I only read Seven Soldiers and the Mister Miracle miniseries because I'm a ridiculous person when it comes to reading comics, but I'm not going to read 24 issues that have nothing to do with the Fourth World.

Anyway, the Mister Miracle mini is actually about Shilo Norman, not Scott, and it's pretty good, even if Shilo should know perfectly well who Darkseid and his entourage are. The surrounding issues were incomprehensible, but maybe they would have made more sense if I had read all the other minis. On the other hand, maybe not...this is Morrison we're talking about, after all. Anyway talk about making comics as inaccessible as possible. Great job, everyone.

Death of the New Gods (2007): I knew right away this comic was going to be dogshit because of a) the title and b) the fact that it's a tie-in to the worst event DC has ever published, Countdown to Final Crisis, but hoo boy, it is DOGSHIT.

Basically, some mysterious being starts murdering New Gods, starting with Lightray and Barda, the latter of whom is murdered in the kitchen - you know, where women belong. Scott then dons a truly idiotic goth version of his costume and the rest of the book is mainly Scott, Orion, and Superman flailing around aimlessly and failing to figure out who the killer is while everyone from New Genesis and Apokolips is slaughtered. It's a truly godawful murder mystery in which implausible suspects are accused at absolute random (the Forever People, the pacifist hippies! Orion, the least sneaky being in existence!) even though Superman deduces the killer (sort of) in #5 and tells the other characters, so there's no reason for them to still be trying to solve it.

Anyway at the risk of ruining this comic for you (impossible, it comes pre-ruined), the killer turns out to be the Infinity Man, but he's actually being piloted by the Source, which is eradicating the New Gods and harvesting their energy in order to create a Fifth World. In #7, a horrified Scott is like "But I've worshiped you all my life! Don't you care about any of us?" and the Source is like, "Eh." The most spiritual and reverent aspect of the Fourth World, and Jim Starlin came along and just dropped a little turd right on top of it (after, of course, blatantly copying Darkseid when he created Thanos).

The art (also by Starlin) is hideous, and the plotting is atrocious, as he desperately tries to stretch six issues of story at best into eight, plus dragging each issue out over 30 pages instead of the normal 22. Everyone is wildly out of character. The only vaguely good thing about the book is that Scott and Orion finally get to spend a significant amount of time together, but given the context, I really don't think it's worth it.

In conclusion: "rocks fall, everyone dies" turns out to not be a good idea for a story! Who knew!

Final Crisis (2008): Well, after 16 years of successfully avoiding this story, I finally read it. You win this one, Morrison.

I have avoided Final Crisis since it came out because it felt so emblematic to me of the worst of late 2000s DC: literally constant crossovers with histrionic stakes, characters being slaughtered left and right, whatever the fuck they did to Mary Marvel in this story. I know it has a good reputation, and if I'm being honest, I do think the first 5 1/2 issues of it are pretty good. On the other hand, if I wasn't very familiar with 2000s DC, I think this would be a very confusing book to read, the final 1 1/2 issues dissolve into incomprehensible, self-indulgent nonsense full of obscure characters and OCs randomly dropped in just to make it all harder for the reader. I'm sorry, I know many people consider Morrison's habit of writing comics that you need a companion volume, twenty Wikipedia tabs, and a Reddit forum to understand to be a feature, not a bug, but it infuriates me. It's like the structure of the Seven Soldiers series(es) up above. Aren't comics impenetrable enough? Must we gatekeep with every page?

Anyway the New Gods stuff: they're all dead, but all the evil ones managed to land on Earth as disembodied souls, and are possessing various humans. The only good one is Orion, who dies at the very beginning when he is shot by Darkseid in the future shooting him with a bullet that travels back in time. I love goofy comics shit but for some reason this one strikes me as real dumb. Also Orion literally died twice in the comic that was about all the New Gods dying, so...hm.

Anyway the evil New Gods take over the planet with the Anti-Life Equation, and again, the pacing and storytelling are actually really good for most of this. But there's also all the worst the late 2000s had to offer, like Mary Marvel in the WORST costume of all time and Supergirl flashing panty shots at the reader while they beat each other up and call each other sluts, or Tawky Tawny being beaten to a pulp before ripping out Kalibak's entrails. Tawky fucking Tawny. SIGH. Also they keep miscoloring Shilo as white. NOT GREAT.

Honestly at this point I'm like begging for the New 52 to happen and put me out of my misery, so...good job, DC? I want to go back to Orion (2000), that was great.

Next up: the 2010s! Which is all the New Gods books, they haven't had a series yet this decade. We're almost done, gang.

[ineffable-suffering]

Demonic Mental Health Awareness Post

i'm not sure if occult beings are technically capable of suffering from mental illnesses but, watching S2 for the nth time now, i'm pretty sure that ever since Armageddon didn't happen, crowley has simply been a little, well ... depressed.

(just in case, a mild TW: depression, trauma, mental illness)

like, one of the firsts things we hear him say (to shax, out of all people) is: "do you ever think: what's the point of it all? heaven, hell, angels, demons, it's all ... pointless." which– whoof, that's heavy. i mean, fair enough, he's got a point, but it's still one hell (pun intended) of a statement to chuck out as one of the first things he says this season.

i think the way that crowley and aziraphale processed Armageddon is .. very different. we see aziraphale at the beginning of S2:

happy as always in his surroundings

chatting to the people in his whickber street community

buying music

humming along to it in his bookshop

and just frolicking, as he always does

crowley, however, is:

sitting alone on The park bench

questioning the meaning of existence

while also technically being homeless

and living in his car

for ... no apparent reason other than not being bothered to miracle himself up a new flat

of course, crowley's always been a bit of a grumpy goth boyfriend. but it doesn't take a licensed therapist to figure out that he's clearly Going Through something. and it makes sense, if you think about it. surely, Armageddon was traumatic for both of them. but i think aziraphale does have a bit more of a safety net to fall back on. he's got his shop, his books, his music and some of his neighbours he seems to like and know. and, of course, he has crowley. who's always just a phone call away and who he, as we are told, calls when pretty much anything does or doesn't happen.

crowley's main hobby and somewhat safe space used to be his plants and his flat, but those are kinda gone too now/crammed into the bentley and he clearly hasn't been able to move on yet since he a) hasn't bothered to get a new flat and (what i think is an even bigger indicator of him not being okay) b) hasn't told aziraphale yet. ("we talk all the time!" yup, but clearly not about the things that matter, hm?)

it's been four years. four years in which, seemingly, aziraphale had few issues with falling back into his old flow, picking up his hobbies again and even making more friends around Soho. and four years in which crowley lost his flat, most of his plants and apparently his will to change anything about it or share it with aziraphale.

having been through major depressive episodes myself, this does *david tennant voice* bingle-bongle-dingle-dangle all my alarm bells.

because people cope with trauma in different ways. some better than others. and crowley, having Major Unresolved Trauma from his Fall, always having been rather unhappy with the work he'd been doing for hell (aka only getting credit for things he didn't do and sort of messing up things he did do) and also having to face the fact that the angel he was head over heels in love with kept turning him down over and over again for reasons he didn't understand ... well, it didn't set him up for a great post-not-so-much-the-end-of-the-world start.

and sometimes, being forced to keep running under kinda shitty conditions (such as a crappy job or trying to chase after the love of your life) still keeps you running. but once that all stopped, once aziraphale and crowley were (at least for the time being) free of heaven and hell and could finally just live their lives, crowley seems to just have retreated further back into himself. questioning the whole meaning of existence and not really talking about it to the one person he'd always wanted to be with. which makes sense because more than anything, crowley wants to protect aziraphale. and he‘s definitely the type of demon person to think that sharing your struggles means burdening someone else with them. oh crowley, you and me would have so much to talk about, babe.

so yeah. the world almost ended. and then it just went back to normal. and i think crowley is still stuck somewhere between thinking he'd lost his best friend and love of his life in a fire, almost being anihilated by his satanic boss and then everything simply snapping back into the way it always was – within the span of a day. no wonder he's finding it a little hard to move on.

---

(addendum: there's a great piece of fanfiction called "Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach" that deals exactly with that trauma, in which crowley goes to see a therapist. incredible character study and brilliant writing.)

[ciggrx]

Threads of fate

Pairing-Sukuna X f!reader.

Summary-: you are childhood friends with the village's chief's son while being a poor maiden. How will it go for you? Is it a happy ending?

Part three-:

"oi! Brat" The hc-nette said jumping up and down around him.

"What? Princess?" He said, putting extra pressure on the "princess".

"Let's go to the festival! It'll be fun!" She said tugging onto his sleeve as he read his book.

"Right now?" He asked, she had been begging him to come with her to the festival fair since she found out it would be held like three days ago.

"Please..." She pouted, flashing him the puppy eyes.

He sighed. "What do I get in return?"

"My company and an outing." She said, smugly.

"You think you're gracing me with your presence?" He asked, getting up and walking towards the festival fair.

She squealed as she followed him, giggling.

"Yeah, actually." She replied while walking by his side excitedly, while clapping her hands like a seal.

As they entered the festival, the Hc-nette was the one dragging him to games and other things.

"How much is this?" The Hc-nette asked a shopkeeper about a fan that had caught her eye.

Her eyes widened at response but she just shrugged and went ahead.

"You didn't want that?" Sukuna asked following her.

"I did but it was too expensive." As she replied stuffing her face with food. While buying more food.

Sukuna sighed as he quickly went back to the stall and brought the fan she wanted. The Hc-nette on the other hand looked around for him wondering where did he run off to. He came back in sigh and handed her the fan. It was a red hand fan. His favourite colour. Red was reserved for the family of chiefs. Mostly people with a higher position in the village hand red coloured Clothing or assessories like this fan. Maybe the possesive nature of sukuna made him but it for her. So the other suitors stay away. Maybe. He won't admit it.

"Wahhh! The spoilt Brat got me a expensive hand fan!" She said excitedly as he took the fan, shoving the food in his hand.

"Stop calling me that" he grumbled, eating the food.

"Brat"

"You darn-"

"Thanks, Spoiled brat-" the Hc-nette patted his hair.

She was cut off by a woman interrupting their Little date. Sukuna's face soured at her voice.

She was around sukunas age. She was from a higher position than the Hc-nette. She was Yami. The who is supposed to be Sukuna's fiancee but he refused. Making it clear he had no interest in her.

"Sukuna! How come you're in the festival? I thought you were too busy to come here when I asked." Yami pouted.

Sukuna poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue. Annoyed. The Hc-nette stood their awkwardly, chewing the food in her mouth slowly. Her eyes darting between Sukuna and Yami.

"Yes i was." He replied coldy.

"But you're here now"

"So?" He arched a brow.

"So.. Why didn't you come with me?" She asked swaying left and right.

"Because i came with her" he pointed at the Hc-nette.

Yami eyed her up and down with a disgusting expression on her face.

"Who is she?" She asked, her voice excruciatingly thin and the venom wear clear in her voice.

Sukuna introduced her to Yami. The Hc-nette have Yami a gentle smile which she did not return.

"I'm Yami. His fiancee." She said with a huff and crossed her arms over her chest.

The Hc-nettes smile slightly flattered as she looked at sukuna. He haven't told her about any fiance of his.. feeling a awkward sense between the two she felt like third wheeling.

"I..i should get going. I was about to leave anyways.. It was nice to meet you Yami" she turned around to leave with a heavy heart. She convinced herself saying it was because she wanted to see more of the festival fair and not because of sukunas secret fiance, only to be stopped by sukuna's larger have wrapping around her wrist, stopping her in her tracks

"No, you're not. My fiancee" Sukuna said, sternly making it clear he had no interest.

"Well... Not yet" she said with a smile.

"Not yet not ever. I'm not interested." He said, making Yami clench her jaw in anger as she glared at the have wrapped around the Hc-nettes wrists.

"We'll see about that." Yami said, She looked like she was about to burst as she took a deep breath and left.

The hc-nette looked at sukuna who didn't seem to be interested in letting her go instead he moved his hand and interwined his fingers with hers and continued to explore the village with her. Knowing the questions Hc-nette will ask. But he can take care of that later. For now he wants to enjoy the festival with his princess.

___________________________________________

Sukuna was walking with Hc-nette looking for a good spot to view the lanterns in the sky, he was carrying the mats and she was carrying the food and other things they won at the festival.

They found a spot as he laid the mat down on the ground as they both sat on it. There was a awkward silence between them. Sukuna felt like he had done something wrong and had to explain himself even though he wasn't obliged to. He wanted to explain himself.

"Aren't you going to ask anything?" He asked, his hand inching closer to hers.

"About?" She asked softly her eyes fixed on the sky. Waiting for the lanterns show to start.

"Don't play dumb." He grumbled.

"You must have had a good reason to not to tell me.." she said, gently but he could hear the hurt in her voice.

"Still.. aren't you upset.?" He asked, brushing the hair out of her face, as the cold wind blew.

.

..

...

There was a few seconds of silence which with a thick tension in the air which could be cut with a knife.

"Who am I to get upset?" She said.

Sukuna paused then frowned. She's right. She just a friend right? Who is she to get mad. But he knows deep deep down it's not just that. They have something deeper.

"Princess, Look at me." He demanded, sternly.

She didn't listen. He sighed as he thought must really be a spoilt brat cause he got irritated when he didn't get what he want.

"I said. Look at me." He said more sternly as once again she didn't listen he grabbed her jaw, his grip was tight but not enough to hurt, he turned her head to face him.

He stared at her face for a while. As he felt nervous. Almost like crying. Her heart clenching in her chest, he leaned forward. Their faces inches apart. He kept leaning on his grip on her jaw tightness ever so slightly. She closes her eyes waiting.

His lips pressed onto her forehead, planting a gentle kiss he pulled back slightly, lifting her head to meet his gaze.

"You have every damn right to be upset." He whispered. His tone still stren making sure his point got across.

"Got it?" He asked, his hand letting her jaw go and moving to grip the back of her neck, sending shivers down her spine.

She nodded, timidly.

"Got it." She replied back, her voice barely above a whisper as he leaned in again. Their lips inches apart. As she felt his lips touching hers. The loud alarm rang indicating it was time for the lanterns show to start.

The Hc-nette snapped out of it quickly pulling back, diverting her gaze to the sky as he grumbled silenty cursing the people for always biting him in the ass and ruining their moments.

As the first few lanterns are released into the sky, the night lights up with a myriad of colors, the glow of each lantern casting a warm, twinkling light over those below.

As the lanterns start to fill the night sky, the sight is truly breathtaking. The variety of colors, shapes, and sizes of lanterns create a kaleidoscope effect that is mesmerising.

The Hc-nettes eyes gittered and shined looking at them she smiled widely and embarrassment from a moment so was gone.

"Wahh.. So pretty. Right, brat?" She giggled, her eyes fixed on the shy and his fixed on her. He smiled staring at her instead of the lanterns in the sky as he agrees.

"The view is indeed breathtaking."

Taglist: @thulhu , @sukioyakio , @skunabby , @shadowywizardarcade , @verviox , @kariatenoh, @mazzd4

This is the third part of my series!

[profound-jade]

Supreme Support Reader

Cottage Core, Supreme Support Reader,  basically I was feeling really bad about something in bed, like a lot then I remembered something that made me realise what I was agonising over for the last 20 minutes didn’t happen. The feeling of absolute relief I felt was incredible and as I relaxed in bed I thought about the reader having the divine power of making anyone happy, satisfied, and whatever good emotion they could want.

Like, maybe Xiao is feeling hurt today way more than usual only for him to bump into you accidentally while you're picking berries in the outskirts of Liyue for making jam and a feeling of happiness just flows into him when he is with you. Maybe, well definitely, he would be unable to control himself and goes up to hug you and this sense of unyielding happiness and relief just overwhelms him. It was like every last one of his cells were dying of thirst and hunger for months and a banquet of food and drinks were brought to them.

While Xiao is in sheer bliss, you are just a bit stunned about what happened before turning around and seeing that it’s Xiao, which calms you down. Still a bit confused, but seeing how happy he is and knowing his backstory you decide to just stay there for a bit.

Not just people in constant pain like Xiao react this way, ordinary people that are generally happy and satisfied with their daily lives are not that much better. It’s like something they can’t describe awakened within. It’s like something that was written inside their genes but was never activated. After being with you and having all their negative emotions solved, ones they had subconsciously and they consciously didn’t even know, before then being ubercharged with positive and happy emotions, they cannot go back to how things were before without you.

Ningguang had met you after you opened up a small stall in which you sold products that you made from various homegrown ingredients or stuff you got from foraging. The products were simple like jam from berries, homemade baking products like cookies and cakes, and other things like that. They were simple yet they filled something within the customers. It was like they had an itch they didn’t even know about being scratched as they ate your produce. 

Ningguang had been curious so she went and bought some sweets you made without much expectation as she had already tasted all the finest cuisine in all of-holy fuck how are these so good?! She tried to buy out all the remaining stocks after that which yous topped as its not fair to the other customers. 

Ningguang rather forcefully befriended you after that and you two started hanging out, doing and playing all sorts of simple things for hours on end like reading comic books, playing kids games, things that she would never have done by herself or anyone. The Tianquan’s time is measured in solid gold, something she carefully built a market for, could earn millions of Mora in just an hour or even. And yet, she now feels all the time she had spent earning those same mountains upon mountains of mora not even worth mentioning as she sat by a large tree, you in her arms reading a short story as the cool breeze flew by.

As the sun set and you returned home, so did Ningguang. Her thoughts raced as she thought about all the things you and her were going to do later on tomorrow despite knowing dang well she can’t possibly fit all those activities within even a month of time, much less a day. Ningguang met her frantic assistants at the Harbour, complaining to her about all the things they had to take care because of her absence, but Ningguang could only smile fondly of her memories today. 

She made her way up to the Jade Chamber, and as she had walked into her bedroom, she could only stare at her queen sized bed with an empty look in her eyes. She had prioritised Mora and the Jade Chamber above all else for her entire life but now she suddenly feels the lavish and large abode she lived in was empty and shallow. 

Ningguang clutched the part where her heart was under, treating her fine silken garments with force she never would’ve dreamed of before. Ah, this feeling has returned once again. It had been bearable, she suppose. This feeling had sprouted and quickly grew the moment she had met you. It was a feeling she was quite familiar with, something that was imprinted onto her since childhood.

Greed. This intense feeling grew by the moment and with each day, Ningguang’s fantasies of taking you for herself grew more from a shameful thought to a full out plan. Construction and ordering of all kinds of things for turning her private chambers into the two of you’s home was sent out.

Had that not happened first, it probably won’t happen for a while as whoever first finds you gets you. 

Maybe when Beidou returned to the harbour to celebrate for newest accomplishment, she saw a single glance at you before being completely stunned in place. Her pupils widened and she made her mind up on the spot to have you for herself.

Childe brushes hands with you on the streets before shamelessly going and straight up grabs yours before flirting.

What if you were in another nation, say Inazuma? Ei would go from meditating and thinking about how eternity and all that is great before instantly changing her mind after meeting you for like 5 minutes and forcefully marrying you and making you live in the palace, the puppet Shogun completely agreeing with her decision. No 200 year long duel needed.

Or, if things get really spicy, all of this and more somehow happens. Maybe you were a small merchant living in nature and just around selling things you made, seducing and charming anyone you made semi-contact with. Because of that, powerful people and characters that could influence the world were just silently stepping on each other's shoes under the table and they begrudgingly shared a picnic table with you outside, them not wanting to scare you being the only reason they haven’t pulled out their weapons and activated their visions yet.

[amberjazmyn]

dr spencer reid one-shot

𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮; your insta feed but you're married to spencer reid

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼; none

𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷; insta posts between users drsreid and ynreid

𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮; i love this idea so much so let's do it!

masterlist

---

liked by ynreid, derekmorgan, penelopegarcia, aaronhotchner, davidrossi and 100 others

drsreid the wife caught me reading a case file during an active case

view all 80 comments

ynreid yeah cause you're weird baby

drsreid ynreid fair point babe

derekmorgan and let me guess, it had no correlation to the current case we're supposed to be actively solving?

drsreid derekmorgan you are actually wrong this time morgan! this is the case file for the case we're meant to be solving now

penelopegarcia it's thrown me off so badly that he's posted this during an active case...

aaronhotchner reid, as much as i love that you are becoming less of a technophobe, please go back to the geographical profile

drsreid aaronhotchner yes sir!

davidrossi never did i think i'd see the day he'd post a photo during work hours...

liked by drsreid, emilyprentiss, penelopegarcia, jenniferj, derekmorgan and 100 others

ynreid this was just the first bag we brought home

view all 87 comments

drsreid we had at least another four in the car

ynreid drsreid how do we have the money to continously buy more books we don't really need?

emilyprentiss jesus christ you guys! i forget the fact you're the definition of bookworms

penelopegarcia just looking at this photo hurts my eyes and frontal cortex

jenniferj ahh, that's where all the books have gone

derekmorgan that's only the first bag? how many books did you buy?!

ynreid derekmorgan maybe a little too much...

liked by ynreid, derekmorgan, emilyprentiss, aaronhotchner, davidrossi, penelopegarcia and 100 others

drsreid i guess the wife and i are parents now!

view all 30 comments

ynreid best decision we've ever made husband!

drsreid ynreid i have to agree with you wife!

derekmorgan ok that's just adorable. but, is it a dangerous breed?

drsreid derekmorgan she is a little cutie and no, morgan. she isn't dangerous, she's just a puppy!

emilyprentiss omg omg omg. i'm going to need to meet this puppo immediately and what is its name?!

drsreid emilyprentiss absolutely, you need to meet her immediately and her name is dolce, like dolce & gabanna

aaronhotchner genuinely not joking when i say getting a pet before having children is really good practise! the dog is adorable, reid!

davidrossi i can't lie, the puppy is very cute but it's really throwing me off seeing you in a hoodie and without your fbi credentials

penelopegarcia OMG it's so cute spencer! what's its name?! i need to meet the dog immediately!

drsreid penelopegarcia emily said the same thing haha! her name is dolce like dolce & gabanna, if it wasn't already obvious, wifey named her!

liked by drsreid, ablake, ellegreenaway, willlamontagnejr, katecallahan, ashseaver and 100 others

ynreid everybody meet baby dolce, me and husband's new child! and yes, she's named dolce like the designer, dolce & gabanna, obviously because i couldn't name my future human child that name!

view all 80 comments

drsreid no but calling our puppy dolce makes so much sense!

ablake oh isn't little dolce just adorable, y.n!

ellegreenaway oh okay, now i have to catch up with you guys, dolce is just adorable!

willlamontagnejr dolce is the cutest thing ever! the family will have to meet her!

katecallahan oh dolce is just gorgeous you two!

ashseaver that's why you posted that thing on your story! you were adopting a puppy! omg dolce is beautiful, y.n!

liked by ynreid, jenniferj, aaronhotchner, penelopegarcia, derekmorgan and 30 others

drsreid pumpkin szn

view all 20 comments

ynreid i apologise but your hands look so sexy in this photo, i just had to say it

jenniferj why on earth are you holding the pumpkin like you've got two kids at home?

drsreid jenniferj maybe because i do

aaronhotchner that's a good pumpkin, good pick reid!

penelopegarcia what will you do with them, reid?

drsreid penelopegarcia i think we're just gonna have them as decorations in front of the house and then buy carving pumpkins later

derekmorgan that is the biggest pumpkin i think i've ever seen!

liked by drsreid, emilyprentiss, ashseaver, jenniferj, penelopegarcia and 100 others

ynreid happy spooktober my dear children

view all 70 comments

drsreid queen of pumpkin carving!

ynreid drsreid says the king of pumpkin carving!

emilyprentiss you carved that yourself? wow y.n, that's amazing!

ynreid emilyprentiss yes i did, em! and thank you, it took me ages!

ashseaver happy halloween, y.n!

ynreid ashseaver happy halloween, ashley!

jenniferj that is so cool, y.n! henry and michael find it so cool too!

ynreid jenniferj thank you, jayje. and i'm so glad the boys find it cool too!

penelopegarcia woah, that is insane, y.n! could you teach me how to do that?!

ynreid penelopegarcia thank you pen! and of course i can!

liked by ynreid, ellegreenaway, aaronhotchner, emilyprentiss, davidrossi, derekmorgan, penelopegarcia and 80 others

drsreid throwback thursday to that one day in the office that our section chief brought in some puppies to work! i think they were in training to be therapy dogs, which makes a lot of sense looking back! but i do wonder and think about this lil guy every so often and hope he's doing good!

view all 60 comments

ynreid oh i remember that day so clearly! literally one of the best days i've had working in the office during a day of paperwork!

drsreid ynreid thank god it was only a paperwork day otherwise i would have cried if we had been sent out on a case!

ellegreenaway omg i remember that day so clearly! i swear that dog loved you, spence!

aaronhotchner oh this was a great day at the office! last i heard, i actually think that dog passed his qualifications and is now a therapy dog in hospitals!

drsreid aaronhotchner that is amazing to hear! i think we should seriously get some therapy dogs for the fbi and bau!

aaronhotchner drsreid sounds like a very good idea, i'll look into it!

davidrossi omg you look so young, reid! now you've grown up to be an amazing man! oh and the dog is adorable as well

derekmorgan oh how could i forget this day! this was such a great day! so glad we didn't get called in for a case!

penelopegarcia i remember this day omg! we got to meet all the dogs that were in training to be therapy dogs!

liked by drsreid, emilyprentiss, aaronhotchner, derekmorgan, penelopegarcia and 80 others

ynreid firstly, i want to apologise to my husband, spencer because he didn't want me to post this but, my husband sleeps with a lil lion teddy when we're away from one another 🥹

view all 40 comments

drsreid normally, i'd kill someone if they did this but because it's my wife posting this, i can't even think about being mad!

emilyprentiss oh isn't that just adorable, y.n!

aaronhotchner i think jack had a lion teddy similar to that when he was a little boy!

derekmorgan i'd usually make fun of pretty boy over a photo like this but i just can't do it. he looks so peaceful and calm!

penelopegarcia omg he looks so sweet and precious!

liked by ynreid, penelopegarcia, davidrossi, ablake, katecallahan, jenniferj and 40 others

drsreid wifey wanted to take a photo of me

view all 30 comments

ynreid so you turned into a chipmunk spence like that makes any sense! and you're a genius as well!

penelopegarcia and it's posts like these that remind me why you and y.n are married, spencer!

davidrossi ahh, the famous chipmunk cheeks, never lost them have you, reid?

ablake am i the only one that finds this completely adorable?

drsreid ablake no, y.n and penelope do as well, you're not the only one alex!

katecallahan i did this all the time as a kid

jenniferj nice look spence

liked by drsreid, aaronhotchner, derekmorgan, penelopegarcia and 100 others

ynreid a kiss, for me?

view all 60 comments

drsreid yes sweetheart, a kiss all for you and nobody else!

ynreid drsreid yayyy! love you baby

aaronhotchner glad you guys are having some good time off to relax

ynreid aaronhotchner we are hotch, thank you so much!

derekmorgan we used to do that all those years ago too 🥹

ynreid derekmorgan not anymore you do though

penelopegarcia cuties

ynreid penelopegarcia it's in our bau contract to be the cutest couple in the entire unit!

---

this where i'm cutting it off but i will be doing more and different versions as well as i'm thinking of making one of their wedding and then their instagram posts with children and whilst being pregnant and everything else!

ok ily bye xx

wc; no idea but no more then 2000

[lawlietscaramels]

can iii.. be 🗯 anon?

strange request! but what about going thrifting with light? like his partner is a little less than rich, and they drag light along one of their thrifting trips. gn!reader please

(definitely NOT based on the fact i finally went thrifting again.. trust.)

Thrifting ╾ Light

You can ofc be 🗯️ anon! I was struggling a little with the "little less than rich," whether to interpret it as "few cents to spare" or "almost a millionaire"- I find this stuff difficult online- so I kinda didn't talk about reader's financial situation.

I do default to a gn reader for future reference, though I may accidentally include things more relatable to my experience of gender. I do proofread, so hopefully I avoid this usually!

　★━━─・‥…━━━☆

Light's really busy, honestly. He has to spend time being Kira, time placating Misa, time working at the Task Force, and already a lot of time with you.

Light likes that last one the most, but that doesn't mean he can spare enough time for a long trip, thrifting or otherwise.

But if he does have time, he'd be happy enough to come along if you wanted!

No need to drag him, Y/N...

I don't think Light has ever been thrifting himself. Actually I don't think he really buys much in general. Grocery shopping, occasionally new clothes.. I dunno I don't think Light buys a lot. Or maybe he does buy a fair bit, but it's all stuff he needs and uses... hm.

Anyway!

This whole thrifting thing is pretty new to him.

It does make sense to save money and participate in a circular economy, but he's surprised if you mention how fun it is to find surprising and unique little items. The hunt is not something Light gets until he thinks it over for a while.

And then he decides it sounds quite fun!

Light would probably try to trail you for a little while before wandering off to discover little treasures of him own.

"Hey, what do you think of this?" he asks every few minutes, about a suit with a polkadot pattern or a now out of print book or a statue of a garden elf. Grin and laugh and he'll smile back, happy to have participated in this thrifting trip of yours and found something interesting himself.

Light is also pleasantly surprised by the price at the end!

I think he's probably middle class or maybe upper middle class but there's no point in spending more than necessary.

That said, Light would probably still buy clothes at more retail chains, it's better for him to blend in and be relatable and likeable (he's so psychopath-core) and he doesn't like the idea of sharing pants with someone else. He's not a germophobe like L, but he smelt and saw some funny things on the clothes in the store...

Even so, he'd happily join you on thrifting trips in the future! Light does enjoy it, though he may not make the choice to go himself.

(he left with three bags full of Stuff.)

　★━━─・‥…━━━☆

𝖎𝖋 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊𝖉 𝖎𝖙 ˏˋ⋆˖⁺˖⁀➷ 𝖕𝖑𝖊𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖗𝖊𝖇𝖑𝖔𝖌 + 𝖋𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖔𝖜

©lawlietscaramels. Do not repost on other sites, claim as your own work, edit, rewrite or “fix,” feed to AI or otherwise use unethically.

[breannasfluff]

Facets of a Rabbit

AO3 Link

“2,000 rupees,” the rabbit tells his customer with a smile.

Legend lounges in the corner, watching the interaction.

“That’s a scam! No one will buy it for that much!”

“Then I guess that means you won’t be gaining this handy tornado rod.”

Hey…wasn’t that one of Legend’s items? Eh, well, maybe Ravio has a double. Hylia knows he paid enough to buy it the first time.

“You are a crook! I’m spreading the word about your business!”

Rather than worry, Gold—because Ravio was still split—waves a cheery goodbye as his customer stomps out of the shop. Legend pulls himself off the wall and heads over.

“Why’d you ask so much?”

Gold rolls his eyes. “Mr. Hero. Running a business means asking for fair prices. This? This is priceless.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s yours.”

“Hey!” Legend makes a grab for the rod, only to have it pulled out of reach. “Stop selling my stuff! You aren’t that poor! I like my things where I left them!”

Gold twirls the rod and gives him a calculating look. “How much are you willing to pay to get it back?”

“I already bought it!”

The merchant just laughs.

“Seriously, why charge so much?”

With a sigh, Gold tucks the rod back into a box and starts tidying the room. It used to be Legend’s living room, but now it’s converted into a shop. He’s not sure if dusting is worth this. “I happen to know that man. He and his family are low on rupees because he makes frivolous purchases.

“Huh.” Legend mulls this over. Split like this, it’s easy to think of Ravio’s colors as one-dimensional. It’s not true, though. Gold may be obsessed with rupees, but he still has standards and a sense of right and wrong.

“Can I have my rod back now?”

“No.”

That sense might be buried deep, deep down.

Cyan has his nose buried in a book. He’s quiet; quieter than Legend is used to for the merchant. Normally he’s Mr Hero this and Buddy that. Cyan, though, reads his book and sits by himself.

Well, they aren’t getting anywhere by sitting in silence. Legend takes the lead. “What are you reading?”

“Dimensional Portals: Fact or Theory.”

Well, that’s…honestly not what he was expecting. “Anything good?”

“No.”

Great. It’s like talking to a brick wall. What part of Ravio is this? The one good at magic, Purple said, but personality-wise? Is there a part of the rabbit that wants to sit in silence?

Legend shifts from foot to foot, awkward and unsure how to proceed. Should he ask more questions? Should he leave Cyan alone?

Without looking up from his book, Cyan says, “I found a book earlier I think you’d like. If you want to read as well.”

“Sure!” He moves over to an armchair and waits for the promised book. What will Cyan have picked out? Transmutation? Lawn care? How to mooch free rent off your light world counterpart?

What he’s handed is a book of Lorulian fairytales. “Thank…you?” When was the last time he read a story like this? Still, he’s trying to get to know Cyan so he might as well give it a try. Flipping it open, he starts to read.

Cyan lights a lamp before Legend realizes how much time passed. The stories sucked him in; similar to the ones he grew up on, yet different. He did enjoy it—a lot more than expected. It’s nice to just read for pleasure without trying to learn something.

Looking up, he gives Cyan a soft smile. “You were right. Thank you.”

The color doesn’t raise his eyes from his book, but his ears are tipped with red. When Legend ducks a little to see, there’s a smile on his face.

Rain sheets outside the window. Thunder rumbles overhead, immediately after the crack of lightning. Even situated in front of the fire with a blanket, Legend still flinches. Thunderstorms toss him to a past that chews him up and spits him out shaking.

Underneath the sound of thunder is the banging of cupboards in the kitchen. Purple is in there, ostentatiously making their dinner. Although what meal requires so many cabinets is a mystery.

The color appears in the doorway, leaning around to look at Legend. “Hey, are we out of milk?”

“Was it in the ice box?”

“No.”

“Then we are out of milk.”

Purple grimaces. “I need milk for dinner. This won’t work without it.”

The room flashes from lightning and thunder shakes the roof. The rain increases, pounding. It’s going to be truly awful going outside. On top of that, the weather has Legend’s scars flaring and aching. He doesn’t want to move from the fire. He certainly doesn’t want to go trek out for milk.

“Can we eat something else tonight?”

“No, sorry, we’re running low.”

The vet buries his head in his hands because Ravio hates going out in the rain. He whines and complains until Legend goes and does it. Granted, it’s not during a storm, but there’s even less chance of Purple going.

“Do you mind dinner being a little late?” The color is pulling a coat over his rope and re-looping his scarf around his neck.

“…what?”

“I’m going to run out for milk. But it will delay dinner a bit.”

Legend stares, still lost. “Don’t you want me to go?”

Purple gasps. “And make you go out in this weather when you are hurting? Never!” He tucks the scarf ends into his robe and heads for the door. “Be back soon!”

The wind howls when he opens the door and Legend huddles into his chair until it slams shut. Purple is going to be soaking wet when he comes back. Still…Legend really wasn’t up for going out. Maybe this time, it’s okay to rest.

“Mr. Hero!”

“You don’t have to call me that.” Pink bats his eyes at Legend and—are those tears starting? “But you can if you want!”

The tears vanish. “I was hoping we could spend some time together!”

“Doing…what?” Pink has a habit of sighing and following Legend around like a lost puppy dog. He’s still not sure what.

“We can just…sit together? On the couch? Oh, you could read me some poems!”

That isn’t the worst thing they could do, but why is he the one reading the poems? “Okay, sure, let’s go.”

In the sitting room, Pink chooses the loveseat while Legend pulls out a book of poetry. It might be a little flowery, but the color doesn’t seem like one to judge.

Sitting down next to him, the vet is immediately crowded. “Hey, I can’t hold the book!”

“Then put your arm around me,” Pink says, like this will solve the issue.

Actually, it does, so Legend gives in. Goddesses, what’s up with this part of Ravio? He’s touchy, sure, but now he’s practically crawling into Legend’s lap. Fine. Giving up on understanding, the vet opens the book and starts reading.

The rumble of his voice must be soothing because Pink leans more and more into his side before sliding half into his lap. Once he yawns, showing white teeth with a slight gap between them.

Legend keeps reading, even when Pink’s breathing evens into soft puffs against his knee. He’s kind of cute like this, all tired out and turning to the vet for safety. It’s not…the worst to sit and read him poems. Would all of Ravio like this?

That sounds like an experiment for another time. Resting his hand on the curls on his lap, Legend continues reading.

Gleam doesn’t particularly like Legend. It’s unclear what part of Ravio he is—even the colors mumble and don’t answer the question. Yet ever since the potato-throwing incident at their first meeting, Gleam keeps a wary eye on him. He also stands a little too close to the knife block for comfort.

So, when Legend hears banging on the roof and a distinct lack of Gleam, it takes some consideration before he goes to find out what’s going on.

Gleam is on his roof, with an oversized hammer, smacking it against Ravio’s shop sign. Oh boy.

Spying a ladder, Legend pulls himself up to the roof. “Did the sign offend you?”

The color starts, then glares at him and swings at the sign. A corner chips off and falls to the ground below.

“Aren’t you Ravio? He’s going to hate this when you are all back together.”

Gleam ignores him and continues chipping at the sign. He’s not doing much damage, honestly. It will take him forever to get this down.

“Here.” The vet holds out a hand for the hammer.

After a long, frankly insulting pause, Gleam hands it over. Legend squares his hips, settles his feet, and uses the power bracelet to fuel his blow against the sign. The S goes flying, then crashes to the ground.

Gleam lights up—literally, and claps. Well, if property destruction is what it takes to buy his friendship, Legend isn’t above it. He didn’t want a sign on his roof in the first place.

With a grin, Legend lines up a swing at the O. Goodbye, giant sign, hello Gleam friendship!

[glamorous-astrology]

So your a Witch and you have a problem with routines or suffer from chronic overthinking

Listen when I say my executive dysfunction and anxiety can be quite devastating to any form of action I mean it from the bottom of my ✨soul✨ but when it comes to a witchy routine... Oof. These are some tips and tricks I've learned and figured I'd share it with you. Remember this is based off of my personal experience, what works for one person does not automatically work for another!

So first piece of advice in the fight against these unfaltering foes!

Don't fight em.

WAIT!! Hear me out!

Somedays you just can't do ✨the thing✨ i promise you your spirit team loves you and understands and while procrastinating is the enemy of achievement taking breaks and rest are it's allies. Now don't put if off for too long, maybe set a specific date or time to do it and stick to your word. If you make a promise to yourself you must endeavor to keep it. Life happens, it's unfair but you must at least be fair to yourself and to quote Mister Meeseeks "Follow Through!!" This doesn't just apply to witchy based activities either. Sometimes the urge to just not, is your bodies request for something else.

I have so many unread books I don't even know where to start and depsite all the unfinished books on my shelf I want to have more and I really shouldn't be buying more but -

First step when things get overwhelming is to breath.

Secondly you don't have to read all those books today, tomorrow or ever.

It's also okay to just have books and not finish them. I love to collect books. They may call me a horder(they being the anxiety based court that constantly judges my actions) but you'd call me a librarian if I let the public read borrow em, sooooo. Some people collect teapots that aren't even useable but I don't judge them for it. (I kind of do but only a little bit! But that's because I like my teapots pretty yes but you see-)

Speaking of Libraries!

I love the library so much guys! Please please please support your local libraries! They have so many helpful resources, I honest to Gods could make a whole other post about why libraries are important but! ✨ Focus is a must ✨

Your local library may already have that book you wanna buy, if they don't libraries are connected to a network and depending on where you live your local library can actually get books from pretty far away, sometimes they can even go out of network and into another and the cool thing is in the bookstore I can check of my library has it and save my self a pretty penny.

✨ IMPORTANT! ✨

Maybe despite how well written it is, or how enjoyable you find it you find yourself stopping halfway through. Maybe the stopping point isn't the end of the book. The knowledge you'd sought and needed might have been found and who knows maybe later you will finish it but beating your own ass about it ain't going to help. Take your time, knowledge is power but unused knowledge is a precious waste of time and space for your beautiful brain.

I have this spell I wanna do but there's so much I need to do in order for it to-

Pause

Make the spell simpler.

Yep! Not every powerful spell needs to include sage and cinnamon in order to work. Sustainable witchcraft is important. If you don't have the energy, time or money to make your spell all fancy smansy then don't. You're creative and wise, the intent behind the spell is most important and creating your own method using what you have/can afford is not only creative it shows intent. Witchcraft is not there to stress you out or be judged. The only standard for witchcraft is intent. For example! My first spell changed my life and I made it all fancy smansy, I'm talking the full nine yards I had a special knife, fancy fruit, candles, chanting, moon water, I went big sense I refused to go home. My last life changing spell included my tarot deck and a piece of paper, while I drank my morning tea. It's not just the what you're doing when it comes to spells and rituals it's about mindset. Life's already hard enough, have fun with your spiritual practice!

I feel so weighed down, and tired and I just can't find the energy to do a daily ritual but I really want to start one!

That's okay!

I'm exhausted too and also wish to have more routines but you gotta start.

My ideal routine is morning tarot, cup of tea, and meditation. Some weeks I'm up every morning, drinking tea, doing a quick tarot reading, going on walks, just taking in the day before getting started.

Some weeks I sleep through all 6 of my alarms, don't have time to pack a lunch let alone do some tarot and go on a walk!

Routines are there to help build structure in your life, not rigid cages you must appease.

Some weeks, some days, some times you honestly can't be bothered. That's okay but that just means when you can be bothered you do. My tarot decks are sassy as hell to me about it tbh. I'll do my morning tarot or I won't but they understand. But if I have the time and energy later on in the week and just don't? That quick three card reading I was gonna do with my coven mates just become 26 cards plus two Oracle decks (I'm exaggerating a teenie bit but it feels like a lot sometimes) and you know what, that's okay. Your deck is just catching you up on all the knowledge you've missed! You'll make time for tarot, it's not a scheduled appointment, it's supposed to be a meeting between equals.

I'm pretty sure I've gotten off track but to show you the sum my knowledge or TLDR as you young whippersnappers are saying these days.

Basically, be kind and patient with yourself as you establish your routines and find what works for you. Remember your best today might not ne your best tomorrow. Some days the best I can do is drink my cup of tea as I drive down the highway, other times its that nice meditatve walk.

Find what works for you, day to day, hour to hour and remember be kind yourself. You're not just a meat suit who needs to accomplish everything and anything right here right now, your stardust that deserves to enjoy and cherish those happy experiences that can find you if you step out of judgement and into self love.

Remember this is just my personal experience, and you can take it with a grain of salt, a speck of sugar or just toss it over your shoulder.

I'm exhausted since sleep is a elusive mistress that likes to come and go but I hope this makes sense and maybe helps you enjoy your day a little bit more.

~Admin Cryptid

[monsterswithimagines]

Undisclosed Desires - Part 11

Joe Goldberg x female!Reader

Summary: Twenty minutes before he would have met Guinevere Beck, Joe meets you instead. You intruige him, but it will soon become clear that there is something off about you.

Words: 951

Masterlist

Guysssss I'm sorry if this sucks. I spent all day at the office wishing I could write and then I got home and people just would NOT leave me alone and I had to keep taking breaks 😭😭. Also I kind of didn't know how I wanted this chapter to go at all but now that I'm past it I'll probably have less trouble.

I'm not mad, (Y/n).

It's been three days and you're still avoiding me, but I'm so not mad that I give Ethan a raise and that I buy Paco dinner twice and that I smile at everyone who walks into Mooney’s. That's how you know I love you: I understand that you need time and space to figure out how you feel. And I can wait. And I don't take it out on others. Love is patient, after all.

And this is love. I know it is. You said I am great, and cute, and ugh, and that means something. But you said it yourself: you are ruining this by avoiding me. And when I text you, you're short with me. Why are you doing this to us? Are you the kind of girl who sabotages good things?

Then you finally text me properly. It's a long string of texts, and I want to ignore you because I'm not mad, but I'm a little disappointed in you, honestly, and I think that's fair. But the more I read, the more I smile, and I know I will not ignore you.

YOU: ok im so sorry i know iv been super distant and rude and that is totally on me and id love to tell u iv just been busy or whatever but the truth is actually that i've kind of been avoiding you?? i know i know im a mega bitch. plz forgive me 🙏🏻

YOU: but heres the thing iv never??? done this before??? like gone on dates and gotten drunk and spilled my guts to a guy and liked a guy

YOU: like this is so embarrassing bc i might just be making a super big deal out of nothing

YOU: iv had like six coffees today im sorry im not making sense

YOU: iv never had a boyfriend before and i dont have any other friends here and also im kind of like. super insecure??? so

YOU: you can interrupt me any minute now

YOU: pls

ME: Just give me a moment.

Ethan isn't here to watch the register but honestly, (Y/n)? I don't care. There's only two people in the store and they've both been browsing forever. They're just going to end up buying books they will never read, so I go into the office and close the door behind me. And then I call you.

You answer right away.

“Hey, you,” you say, embarrassed.

“You should have too much coffee more often,” I tell you.

“Uh, no, never again. I have a horrible headache.”

“I'm sorry.”

“It's okay,” you assure me. I hear something slam in the background. “Oops.”

“What are you doing?”

“Just rearranging my furniture.”

“Okay. Why?”

“I'm having a… day,” you say. “Sometimes I just have these moments where I have to change something about my life right this second, you know?”

“So you rearrange your furniture and you text guys illiterate love confessions.”

“Illiterate!” you exclaim. “I will have you know I am a copywriter, and I'm very good at my job.”

“Uh huh.”

“My failure to capitalize my texts is entirely on purpose.”

“Right.”

“And so is the lack of commas.”

I keep quiet, and you realize that I called what you sent me a love confession. You don't correct me because you do love me. You do.

“So,” you say. “Thoughts?”

“I like you. I think that's pretty clear. I went to a music festival with you, and the music was terrible.”

You laugh.

“But I don't want to push you into anything. Have you really never had a boyfriend?”

“Well, there was this boy at summer camp when I was twelve. We held hands on the swings and he shared his Nintendo with me. But I don't think that counts.” I've never wanted to kill a twelve-year-old boy before. “Then there was a girl when I was fifteen. I liked her but it turned out she was just, like, experimenting. So was I, really. We lasted two weeks.”

A girl, huh? This isn't something I expected. But I don't react, because I know you want me to react, and you also don't always like to get what you want right away.

“But no,” you conclude. “I've never actually dated anyone before. That doesn't mean you're pushing me.”

You are so brave, (Y/n). You've never been in love with anyone before but here you are, taking charge.

On your end of the phonecall, something else slams. Then something shatters. You curse and someone knocks on the office window, and I hold up my finger at him to indicate one minute.

“Hey,” I say. “Do you want me to come over and help? After work, I mean.”

“No. I mean, yes to coming over, but no to helping. I'll just get annoyed because you're not doing it exactly how I want it to be done.”

“I'll just bring food, then.”

Another kock at the window. I'm going to kill this guy.

“Great! I'm craving pizza,” you say.

“Pizza it is. Toppings?”

“Pepperoni. And jalapenos.”

“You got it.”

“See you tonight, Joe,” you say, but what you really mean is I love you.

We hang up and I go help the man. I am so nice to him, because you have invited me to your apartment. You want me there. You want me to sit on your bed and feed you and watch you move your books around because you love me, and you told me you've never had a boyfriend before which means you think I am your boyfriend now.

Closing time can't come soon enough.

[foodfightnovelization]

Errors And Inconsistencies

Hey everyone, this is just a short post I'm making to address a few mistakes I've made over the course of writing this blog. That's right, despite how much time I've dedicated to Foodfight! my knowledge of it still isn't perfect, and I got a couple things wrong. I'll start with the more minor of my errors- in many of my posts, I've stated that my copy of the novelization is the only one in existence. While this is true in a roundabout sense, recently someone who worked on the movie explained things in a little more detail. To put a long story short, the novelization WAS published...in a very limited print run, intended to gauge interest for a wider release. However since the actual movie it was supposed to tie into was nowhere completion at the time, the audience it was intended for literally didn't exist yet and so it failed, never to be given a second chance.

All this time I thought the copy I had really was the only one ever produced, like it'd been commissioned by Kasanoff specifically to impress investors or show off at a book fair or something. But no, it did have something of an actual release, just in very small quantities. However even that short print run didn't sell well, meaning there are likely barely any copies in circulation due to nobody actually buying it back when it was out. So for all intents and purposes my copy of the novelization IS still, as far as we know, the only one LEFT in existence- but there could be others out there, it's possible. So if for some reason you wanted to add this book to your collection, don't give up hope just yet! Another copy might show up someday, who knows? I sure don't! However, it's incredibly satisfying to finally get the scoop on just what the deal was with the novelization- it's something I'd been curious about ever since I started this blog, and now we finally have answers. So if you ever find another copy of the novelization at a thrift store or eBay or anything, please let me know!

But now onto much more important matters. If you've been following this blog for a while, you may have seen my post titled "Every Real-World Brand Mascot In The Movie". In this, I claim to have gone through the film with a fine-toothed comb and made note of every single character based on a real-life grocery product. However, I guess my comb wasn't fine-toothed enough (whatever that means) because it turns out I actually missed one. This blue knight is the mascot for Armour Star, a brand of canned sausage and various other meat products. Now, in my defense, Armour Star doesn't actually HAVE a mascot in real life- it seems as though this character was created specifically for Foodfight! and has never represented the company or their products before or since. On top of that he isn't named in the credits, even though most of the other brand-name products are, making his presence even easier to miss. Hungry Man doesn't have a mascot in real life either though, and yet I still managed to spot the one they created for Foodfight! while watching it, so really I have no excuse.

Honestly, the only reason I noticed him at all was because I was watching the movie in 1080p (yeah, high-def!) and realized the telescope Dex uses around 53 minutes into the movie was cobbled together from cans with some kind of product logo on them. I took a closer look and realized they said "Armour Star", put two and two together and realized the background character with a star on his head and the word "Armour" on his chest was likely this brand's mascot. But I mean, I'd never even HEARD of Armour Star until I spotted, this... had anyone else? I feel like they can't be particularly well known, as in the 12 years this movie's been out not a single person has made the connection until now. However, as resident Foodfight! blogger, I take it upon myself to be as accurate and truthful as possible when writing these posts, and by failing to notice the Armour Star mascot I ended up unintentionally spreading lies to the community. Let it be known, there's a fictitious mascot for an obscure real-life brand of canned meat in a slightly less obscure 3D animated children's movie about grocery products fighting Nazis in a thinly-veiled parody of Casablanca! Let the world know about the Armour Star can man! And to those readers who bore witness to my initial post where I claimed there were 18 real-world brand mascots in the movie, I was wrong and I apologize for misinforming you. There are actually 19. I forgot about the Armour Star can man, and I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me for such an egregious transgression.

I'm just joking around by the way, it's obviously not all that serious... but I really didn't notice the Armour Star mascot before, that part was true. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this educational correction of accidental misinformation, and stay tuned as there's still more to come from this blog! I know I teased some fascinating Foodfight! news recently, but unfortunately it's still not at the point where I'm allowed to talk about it. However, fingers crossed I'll be able to in the coming weeks, as it's a HUGE deal and I can't wait for everyone to be able to see it! I tell you, the excitement really never ends when you're a Foodfight! fan...

[sesamestreep]

Taylor Swift prompts: Matt/Foggy, 13

13. hands around a cold glass (from the SECOND Taylor Swift prompt list) I was struggling with some writer's block a few weeks ago and my dearest Zainab was kind enough to give me permission to write a tiny Matt/Foggy-centric one-shot set in her Great British Bake-Off AU and I absolutely leapt at the chance, because I love this 'verse and I've been bothering her with texts about what these two would be up to in that AU since like January. I think this makes sense without reading her previous entries in the series (which focus primarily on Sam and Bucky, with an ensemble cast of other MCU characters), but you should read them anyway because they're very good and they will make your life better! Cross-posted to AO3 here (with more notes) if that's your jam 🍯

Even though they’ve set aside their evening for the express purpose of making a decision, Foggy waits until they’ve finished the takeout they ordered to the office (neutral ground, so no one has home field advantage) and cleaned up all the various cartons and silverware and settled back at the conference table with each of their second beers of the night before he brings up the thing they’re supposed to be talking about.

“Okay,” Foggy says, setting his beer down firmly and flipping a page over on his legal pad to find where he scribbled some notes earlier. “Reason number one that you should move into my apartment: you love me.”

“You can’t use that as one of your reasons,” Matt replies, tapping a pen against the table in a fidgety gesture that’s unlike him.

“Why not?”

“Because you also love me, which means you should move into my apartment. They cancel each other out!”

“Oh, my bad,” Foggy says, as he crosses it off his list. “I didn’t know we were playing by Boggle rules…”

Matt scrunches his nose in confusion. “I’m not familiar.”

“Really?” he asks. “You don’t know Boggle? It’s like a classic word game, you have these little cubes with letters on them that you shake and—you know what, saying it out loud, it makes sense that you haven’t played it. I understand that now. It would be impossibly boring even if there was a braille version. Moving on! Reason number two that you should move in with me!”

“Okay…”

“I’m super handsome.”

“Foggy!”

“What?”

Matt shakes his head. “I’m also handsome,” he says, quietly, after a minute.

“Damn, that’s true,” Foggy says, as if it had never occurred to him.

“Please take this seriously!”

“Fine! Reason number three: I have a lot more stuff than you do. It will take me so long to pack and it will probably make me cry and possibly throw up. You, comparatively, would have a much easier time packing, because you live like a weird, sad monk.”

“Hey! I do not! Just because I don’t like clutter…”

“Until we started dating, you owned one singular blanket,” Foggy points out. “It was a blanket for your bed and your couch that you moved back and forth as needed.”

“It was a perfectly good system,” Matt grumbles.

“Right, but isn’t it better now that you have a bed blanket and a couch blanket?”

“I guess,” Matt admits, as though he’s being tormented. “To be fair, it would probably take you at least a week just to pack up all of your cookbooks.”

“I don’t have that many!”

“You bought three new ones last week! That’s already three more than I own!”

“I can’t help it that my friends keep writing cookbooks,” Foggy objects. “What was I supposed to do, Matt? Not buy Daisy’s book?”

Matt crosses his arms, irritably. “No, but you didn’t know the authors of the other two books you bought. You could’ve skipped theirs.”

“Cookbooks make me happy! I don’t tell you not to…go to the gym!”

“You do, in fact, tell me that all the time.”

Foggy makes a hand gesture that’s meant to convey the sentiment of duh, except that such things are generally lost on Matt, for obvious reasons. “Yeah, well, usually it’s because I want you to stay in bed longer.”

“And I want you to own fewer cookbooks so that there’s room in the apartment for us to actually have a bed.”

“Okay, fine,” he concedes. “Give me one of your reasons, then.”

“I know where everything is in my apartment,” Matt says, simply, “whereas at your place, I’m always looking in the wrong cabinets for stuff or tripping over things.”

“That’s just because you’re not as used to it. I’d go through the same thing if I moved to your place!”

“You’d still have an easier time of it than me.”

“That’s…fair,” Foggy concedes. “I can’t really disagree with that without being an asshole.”

“My favorite way to win an argument,” Matt replies, with a smile. “Playing the blind card.”

Foggy shakes his head. “You devious son of a bitch.”

“Also, my apartment is closer to the office and my rent is cheaper.”

“I’ll give you the cheap rent thing, though it is only because of that terrible billboard with the crazy LED lights that come through your windows at all hours, which does not bother you but would definitely bother me.”

“I remember you sleeping through three separate fire drills in college. I think you’d somehow manage to deal with the unique lighting situation of this apartment.”

“Fine,” Foggy admits, begrudgingly. “But I absolutely contest it being a mark in your favor that your apartment is closer to the office. I think it helps with work-life balance that my place is a little farther away.”

Matt thinks this over for a moment and then nods. “Okay, fine. We’ll call it a draw.”

“Good. Moving on, then. Reason number…whatever that my apartment is better: I live right next door to that bodega with those amazing breakfast sandwiches and the good, cheap coffee you love.”

“Fuck,” Matt says, with feeling. “That’s a really good point.”

“Yeah, it is!”

“Okay,” he says, in the tone Foggy’s been hearing him use in court and mock trials and even drunken debates for over a decade now.  It means Matt is currently running through his rebuttal in his mind, devising the best and most efficient way to win this round. Foggy loves that tone of voice, and the expression of intense thought that always accompanies it, even if it usually means he's about to lose whatever argument they're having. He really should be more immune to it by now, but love has made him weak and he's truly not even mad about it.

“My apartment,” Matt says, finally, “has an in-unit washer and dryer.”

That’s a solid point, but Foggy is not going to admit defeat so easily. “Okay,” he says, “but—counterpoint—mine has a dishwasher!”

“I don’t mind hand washing dishes,” Matt replies with a shrug.

“Wait until you live with me to say that,” Foggy says. “I bake all the time! It’s a lot of dishes!”

“It’s still not as bad as having to go to a laundromat and pay whenever you need to do laundry!”

“Well, my landlord says the machines in the basement will be fixed soon, so my laundromat days are numbered.”

“I will believe that when I see it.”

“You can’t see anything, sweetheart.”

“Exactly,” Matt says, smugly. He may have a point. Foggy’s landlord has been saying the washing machines will be fixed “soon” for six months now.

Foggy blows out a breath, making as much noise as humanly possible to express his frustration. “So, where does that leave us? Is somebody winning?”

Matt laughs and distractedly runs a finger through the layer of condensation on his beer bottle, dividing it down the middle with a thick line. “Honestly, I don’t know. It feels like we’re even, at this point.”

“In the spirit of honesty, then, can I ask you something?”

Matt shrugs, the gesture completely at odds with how tense the rest of his body became at the question. “Sure.”

“You do want to move in with me, right?” Foggy asks, hating himself a little for even needing to. “I know we’ve discussed it, and you said you wanted to, but it’s okay if you’re not ready yet or you changed your mind. It’s a big step—”

Matt leans forward to cover Foggy’s hand with his own, letting his fingers, still cold and damp from holding the glass, brush over Foggy’s wrist, raising goosebumps in their wake. “Of course I want to! Does it seem like I don’t?”

“No, it’s just—I know you like your space and that you value your independence a lot, and I get that but I also don’t necessarily relate to it on the same level. I wouldn’t want to pressure you into doing something that’s going to make you miserable.”

“Well, for one thing, you’re not pressuring me and living with you is not going to make me miserable. It will do the opposite, in fact.”

“Yeah, but—”

“It’s not even going to be our first time living together, dumbass,” Matt says, fondly. “You do remember college, don’t you?”

“Very little of it, in fact,” Foggy quips. “I think I was drunk for most of Spring 2010. It’s more or less a blank spot.”

“Still, we didn’t hate living together then, did we?”

“No,” Foggy replies. “One could even argue that we loved living together.”

“And that was with us sleeping in twin beds. Imagine how much better it will be, uh…not in twin beds…”

Foggy stifles a laugh. “Matt, did you seriously get all blushy at the idea of a queen sized bed?”

“No,” Matt says, tipping his chin down to hide his face. "Shut up!"

“You’re so cute. I want to have sex with you immediately.”

“No! No sex! In fact, I’m breaking up with you.”

“No, you’re not! You love me!”

“Yes, I do,” Matt says, sullenly, “And for what it’s worth, I only got embarrassed because it felt like I was implying that we slept together in our dorm in college, which obviously wasn’t true and I didn’t want to…”

“You didn’t want to admit how big of a crush you had on me back then, I get it,” Foggy says. “Oh, wait, sorry! That was me!”

“Again: shut up!”

“Okay, but now you’ve got me thinking: maybe we should do twin beds…”

“Foggy,” Matt groans.

“I don’t want our relationship to be in violation of the Hays Code, Matt!”

“Well, we’re both men, so that ship has already sailed, I’m afraid…”

“I’m just saying: if it’s good enough for Mary Tyler Moore and Dick Van Dyke, it should be good enough for us!”

“To each their own, I guess, but I sleep better when I share a bed with you.”

“I’ll pretend your reasons are romantic,” Foggy says, aiming for sarcasm and missing by a wide margin, “and not just because you turn into a koala when you sleep.”

“Have you considered being less huggable, maybe?” Matt asks, with a straight face.

“That’s like asking the sun to be less radiant! It is counter to my very nature!”

He smiles. “Fair point.”

Foggy leans back in his chair, making sure to keep his fingers tangled together with Matt’s as he does. He sighs, closing his eyes, and tries to come up with an answer to their problem. It’s a big step for their relationship and huge life changes tend to require sacrifice or compromise on some level, but it’s difficult to think of an option that doesn’t require much more of that from one of them than the other. Except…

“I have a very stupid idea,” Foggy announces. 

“Okay,” Matt replies, warily.

“And I know it’s stupid, okay? I just said that, but I want to be very clear that I’m aware of it. I’m just going to say it anyway, to put it out there.”

“Okay…”

“Should we just look for a place together?”

Matt furrows his brow, puzzling through the implications of this option. “As in, we both leave our current apartments for a completely new one?”

“Yeah. That way we both have to pack, and move, and get used to a new space, instead of only one of us having to do it. I know it’s more expensive and more trouble, so—“

“Is it weird that it makes me feel better?” Matt asks. “The idea that we’d both have to be inconvenienced, equally?”

“No,” Foggy admits. “It makes me feel better too. I want it to feel equal. And we could find a bigger place, maybe with an extra room.”

“For an office?”

Foggy laughs. “Honestly, it’s a sign of how low my standards are that I’m just relieved your mind didn’t go immediately to an in-home gym.”

Matt’s eyebrows lift, excitedly. “We could find a building that has a gym, though.”

“Like you’d ever cheat on Fogwell’s like that.”

“I meant for cross-training…”

“Of course you did,” Foggy says, rolling his eyes. “We could make a list. Things we need—“

“Close to the bodega with the good coffee,” Matt interjects, smiling.

“And a functional laundry room, somewhere on site,” Foggy adds, nodding. “And then a list of things that would be nice to have, like a gym or no nearby billboards that will fry my retinas in the middle of the night.”

“So, you’re saying we’d get to debate and write out two more lists?” Matt asks. “Are you trying to seduce me right now? In our office? Where solemn attorney-ing is done?”

“No, it just comes so naturally to me,” Foggy replies, running his thumb over Matt’s knuckles affectionately. “Though it sounds to me like that’s a yes?”

Matt gives him a surprised look. “Yes to…?”

“God, keep your pants on for two minutes, Murdock! I’m talking about the plan!”

“Oh, yeah. The plan. I mean, I know it’s more work for us and more trouble, but…”

“I’d go through a lot more trouble for your sake, if it means making you happy,” Foggy says, simply. It’s the truth, and he tries to make it a habit to say what he means, especially with Matt. It took them long enough to get here. What’s the point in hiding how he feels now?

Matt rests his chin in the hand that isn’t holding Foggy’s. “You’re very sweet, you know that?”

“I’ve heard it before, once or twice.”

“I don’t know what I did to get so lucky.”

“You smiled at me once when we were eighteen and it was all over for me. And then fifteen years later, you got jealous of a woman I met on a reality show and finally fell in love with me.”

Matt turns an adorable shade of pink and takes his hand away to cross his arms petulantly over his chest. “That’s not true.”

“Oh, so it didn’t take me going to a wedding with one of my best friends under completely platonic circumstances for you to admit you had feelings for me?” Foggy asks, grinning.

“I don’t recall, actually,” Matt says, primly, as he reaches for his beer again and takes an uninterested sip. 

“Speaking of Daisy,” Foggy says, enjoying this way too much, “I should talk to her. She and Daniel said their realtor from when they moved was great. They might be able to put us in touch with someone.”

“We could always use the realtor who rented me my place,” Matt suggests, in the neutral tone of someone who definitely wouldn’t rather eat glass than ask Daisy for help with anything. “She was very helpful and I remember she gave me her card. I could probably find it.”

“Yeah, she gave you her card because she wanted to sleep with you,” Foggy says, shaking his head. “Pass.”

“You don’t have to be jealous, Foggy,” Matt replies, with an evil smile. “She showed me the apartment under completely platonic circumstances.”

Foggy rolls his eyes at that. “You’ve never been in platonic circumstances with anyone, Matt! Every person who meets you wants to sleep with you immediately.”

Matt shrugs, like this means nothing. “Too bad for them. I have a boyfriend.”

“Oh, yeah?” Foggy laughs. “Is it serious?”

Matt nods, and his smile isn’t evil at all anymore. “Very,” he says. “We’re moving in together.”