#i like the OT im making rn
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the way the canucks pulled that out tonight? absolutely unreal
#i love Jimothy Timothy#im not working for game 6 cause im away but i'll be watching#they better pull this off omg#i like the OT im making rn
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My real Christmas present was Athena coming back for this saga anyways ty Jorge
#epic the musical#the ithaca saga#Athena epic#yall dony understand ive been squealing about her for hours i just love her so fucking much#it's about Learning To Be Human like i just love her sm i can't even be coherent about it#it may be called The ODDYSey but like dead ass no one else exist to me right now#sorry i live here now ( i saw as though Warrior Of The Mind wasn't what Grabbed Me from fucking Jump )#shes This Close to being the character i Doodle fucking everywhere like I don't Have favorites bc i identify w oddy and Telemachus Ple n ty#and also Circe could step on me and id thank her#but also Athenas My Favorite i know no favorite but her rn she's beeny girl from jump and like#nah i screamed when she was revealed ots im fucking Gone mam hyper fixation go Brrrr#i keep thinking of shit i wanna add here thats how bad im gone lmao#( and i have so many thoughts about circe and looking at her as A Victim Of Violence and her interactions with Odysseus there are actually#i could make tiktoks at full length#but rn athenas all i think about so rip#i just love her okay i just love her
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0. Decision
Kind of part of @ringleaderising's Tooth application! But this was mostly a fun way to establish the dynamic between the leaders of the Realmwalker Corps. You can have competent leaders who care about you or you can have leaders who all get along! Anyway. From left to right, according to the pictures above: Udyr, Agramant, Verbena, Morien and Voltimand.
There were many things in his life that Agramant considered a waste of time, chief among them the biweekly meetings the heads of the Realmwalker Corps held. He’d attended enough of those meetings that he knew how every one went:
Verbena would go down the agenda with his usual steadfastness, then Morien, impatient as ever, would make a snide remark on the speed or the tone or the content of his delivery. Verbena would bring the whole meeting to a halt to address that. Morien would retort with her usual derisiveness, and on and on it would go until Voltimand put a stop to the quarrel.
They’d just finished fighting over a word that Verbena had stuttered slightly in pronouncing. Fortunately, there were only two more items left on the agenda. Agramant pinched the bridge of his nose with one claw and massaged his bad leg with the other, turning his exhale of pain into a sigh. Only a few more minutes now.
Pain momentarily forgotten, Agramant straightened.
“One more thing,” Udyr said. She shifted a few documents idly pushing four copies to each of the heads. “The Sentinels.”
Morien, who’d been crotchety and fidgety for the past thirty minutes, groaned and slammed her claw on the table. “Again? Stormcatcher take them all, I thought we were done with those pretentious fucks. That business with the obelisk who turns into dirt — ”
“Sand,” Verbena interjected, shooting Morien a withering stare. “Sacrosanct shifts into sand.”
“Sand,” Verbena interjected, shooting Morien a withering stare. “Sacrosanct shifts into sand.”
“They can shift into shit for all I care — ”
Voltimand’s voice rang out, silencing them both: “Udyr. Continue.”
Udyr slid four copies across the table. Agramant inclined his head in thanks; he rarely spoke in meetings and most of the heads usually forgot he was there.
It was a case file. Not one of theirs, Agramant observed as he flipped it open.
“Where did you get this?” Voltimand asked. Her voice was light but there was an accusation in those words. “This is Sentinel material.”
Udyr shrugged, unfazed. “You have your spies, I have mine. Have you read it?”
Agramant turned his attention back to the file. Grinning grotesquely up at him was a guardian clad in tattered rags, a wicked-looking cleaver at her side. Young, Agramant decided, but judging by the bones she clad herself in, she knew how to use that weapon. Her teeth were unusual too: she had swapped a few with gaudy prosthetics. Gems, mismatched bone, precious metals. Her eyes were a red so bright they almost glowed.
She had a dagger sheathed at her side that looked familiar. Agramant squinted, connecting the dots. Efficient.
“Fuck,” Morien breathed. “Agramant, you’d love this girl — she doesn’t even waste her own teeth. How many of those do you think she’s made?”
He ignored that. His eyes skimmed over the next few sections. Last known location, favoured weapons, known magic, familial ties, casualties…
And stopped. Status: In Pursuit, written in a hasty hand. Instructions: Detain. Eliminate as last resort.
Udyr waited till they were all finished. Verbena was the first to speak, “What does this have to do with us?”
“Target?” Morien bared her teeth, her eyes alight with excitement. “I can set Hemera on her. Give me five days.”
Udyr said causally, “Not a target. A recruit.”
Verbena shot to his feet and gave an outraged shout at the same moment Voltimand said, “Absolutely not.”
In that same level voice, Udyr replied, “She’s a necromancer. She’ll be an asset.”
“I don’t doubt it,” Verbena growled, “but she hardly seems sane. The Sentinels only demand detention when the target has harmed one of theirs. We stay out of their business, they stay out of ours. This isn’t an ‘enemy of my enemy situation’.”
“I didn’t say it was. I’ll take it your vote is a no.”
“It is. And it’s hers too.” Verbena jerked his head at Voltimand, who shook her head gravely at Udyr.
Voltimand pushed the file back. “Verbena’s right. I can’t see her as one of our own.”
“Morien?”
The fathom had been unsually quiet during this exchange. She looked up now, her claw tracing patterns into the table, and asked, “Why her?”
Verbena swore aloud as Voltimand sighed defeatedly, reclining in her chair.
For the first time tonight, Udyr grinned. Agramant averted his eyes. That expression on Udyr’s face was as unnatural as rain falling upwards. She said, “Reports of strange and impossible quantities of magic appearing out of nowhere, groups of dragons gathering before it happens to siphon it up. Strange groups, too, affected in their own way by that magic. It doesn’t happen often — or at least we don’t hear about it often. Rumour has it that she — ” Udyr tapped the case file “ — comes from one of those clans.”
“What would you do with that information, hm? That strange magic? ” Verbena barked.
Udyr glanced at him coolly. “What would we do, you mean. The same as our predecessors: we assess and we decide. The Corps is sworn to face the unknown head-on; don’t tell me you’re afraid now.”
Morien lifted her chin and said, “Then I vote yes.”
“Good. Agramant?”
Agramant gave a start. His leg twinged in protest, and he had to force himself to relax, exhaling through his nose till the pain went away on its own. The group was silent now, everyone’s attention turned to him.
“Recruiting’s not my department,” he managed, trying to keep his voice as steady as he could.
“Still.” Udyr’s voice was quiet. Insistent. There was no weaseling his way out of this one.
“You can abstain,” Voltimand said reassuringly. “Besides, Udyr, we can’t interfere in Sentinel busine — ”
Morien snapped, “You just don’t want him to vote!”
“No, you insolent child, internal affairs has no sway over — ” That was Verbena, rising to his usual fury.
“Fuck you, old man!”
Agramant took a deep breath. He considered the file again as though it would yield further secrets upon a second round of scrutiny. Sure, she was young. Inexperienced in the ways of the world. Why Udyr wanted her to join the Realmwalkers Agramant could probably guess. Any way he looked at it, she’d probably bring trouble crashing down upon all their heads.
Sworn to face the unknown head-on.
Ah, hell. Why not? There was no guarantee they’d be able to snatch her out from under the Sentinels’ noses anyway.
“I vote yes.”
#flight rising#this is the longest thing i've written the whole YEAR!!!!#no beta we die like idiots#listen it's 5am rn so there WILL be typos#shann writes shit#god i miss writing lore#c: Agramant#c: Voltimand#c: Verbena#c: Udyr#c: Morien#this may also be because i bought scrivener as a reward for OTing today#anyway agramant was fun to write from the perspective of#he used to be in the marrow massacre but i couldn't think of ideas for him#making him head of internal affairs was fun#verbena does general operations and missions and stuff#voltimand too but more of the magic side#morien heads the gravewardens the corps' best#udyr heads the cleaners who get rid of the messes after missions#she's also kind of got a spymaster kind of role. her own connections and all that#im barely coherent. goodnight.#fr lore
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as badly as i want to avoid my mom she is making it extremely difficult
#i feel really bad that im so angry at her and she doesnt even know it#but my entire living situation is making me miserable right now and its her fault#she charges me $50 in rent every week and shes increasing it to $125 a week at the end of the month#the only reason this is happening is because she FORCED ME to drop out and the only other alternative was that i had to work full time + pa#rent.............. but like at my job even if im working 40 hrs a week ill only be making abt $900 a month#so i will barely have anything leftover for myself after rent#and i cannot get a second job bc i frankly can not handle it at all + what hours would i even work#and my mom refuses to understand that the reason i had to drop out is bc i am so depressed and so suicidal and i just dont want to live#she doesnt acknowledge that im disabled and severely mentally ill#every time i try to talk about my mental health she treats me like im such a burden to her even though i literally never tell her anything#personal anymore bc she just doesnt listen or care#ALSO she FORCED ME to move across the country and transfer schools when i really did not want (hence why i flunked all of my classes bc i d#not care) but like. everything thats wrong in my life rn is bc i do not want ot live where im living and theres no way for me to go back to#texas and also i dont rly wanna live w my dad either#but anyways. this whole situation would be better if my mom was using me paying rent as an actual lesson in adult respinsibility#but it's really just a punishment because i cant function the way she wants me to#and im over it#so fucking over it why am i such a pussy why cant i just die
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Lowkey i think ive been having some kind of rlly weird mental breakdown episode thing but its ok we stay silly
#i havent felt real in like a long time n i havent been getting good sleep if any sleep at all#and i feel like im losing my mind but its ok im chill#i dont know whats happening or which disorder might be causing this stupid shit#im kinda just rolling with the punches rn#if ot wasnt for the fact my psychiatrist went to prison i might try medications again#i dont think ill survive the week which i would be ok with but whose gonna make 0 note bangers abt forcefemming scott if im gone 💔...#lowkey im a little scared that im gonna be put in a mental hospital again. that shit sucked and didnt help at all last time#but ill prolly be fine its fine im chill
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i havent been to the gym since i moved out & i wanna get active again but fr -_- i feel like everything is too much faff, too expensive or something that will bore me to tearssssss
#egg.txt#i was like ok before i go sign up to a new place i'll do the chloe ting workouts just to get a routine back in#my god . i have never wanted to sob more from just being so understimulated in my life#but theyre all the SAAAAAME. IM GOING TOKILLMYSELFFFFF.#and the stupid music makes me want to put knives in my fucking ears#i'd gym again but i just couldnt keep waking up at 5am i wasnt getting sleep & half the time i wasnt even able to get a good work out in#like it would be 30mins max of actual exercise and then like#+ so much more time just getting there and it was wrecking everything else in my schedule#it sounds so dumb but even shit like having to drop my bagg off & pick it up every day meant i had to get later buses (& more)#and it would mean just losing hours in total at that point. for what. for a 30 min workout. when i wasnt making any progress with anyway bc#i was getting no sleep? 😭#i wanted ot try running outside again but ugh not to be a baby but people have been harassing me in the street so much more again and i jus#cant fucking do it broooo#and im too shy for most classes . the other stuff is crazy expensive . im going to start gnawing on something for real#i was thinking abt bouldering but it looks so crazy fucking expensive#its rlly a shame bc i did rlly start to get into running too. i could get a treadmill but idek where to put it rn and it feels crazy#to get one when i dont even have a couch... ehrm
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Fml. I have mental illnesses for real fhat arent just garden variety anxiety and depression <- sorry it turned into a vent/rant in the tags. The perilous poster
#THIS IS NOTHING IM FINE !!!#i just had to remember earlier that sometimes i dont get to be myself#and i drove through my ahit moms town for no reason#and we got a kitten and of course i feel like the only one reasonably concerned#so idk if my concerns are valid or if im overreacting and i dont know how much of my worry is justified#what if im just being a party pooper?#ANDDDD on top of that i dont know where the kitten is rn. and its fine. ots fine#but my mind keeps flashing me images of him stuck somewhere or hurt or somethinf#and i was supposed to be watching him but i left to make food#but my family keeps going 'oh lets do a small trip' so i dont add anything to the list#and then they get a bunch of bs and i dont get any food#WE DONT NEED COSMIC BROWNIES MAN I NEED TO EAT A REAL MEAL THAT MAKES ME FULL PLEASE GOD#and our older cat hates the kitten and im worried the stress is gonna kill him because hes fucking 19#agghh aaghhhhhhh and i cant keep up with everyone and im overwhelmed and i think im just like#upset because i havnt had real food but fuck man idk what to do about that#i coukd bike down to the store and get a sandwich#but my stupid brain keeps going 'if you leave the kitten will die and its your fault'#even though thats not fuckong correct#and i just. aaghhh. aaghhhhhh#and im overheatinf rn but i cant go to my room bc aforementioned kitten desth prophecies#and i. just. aaghhhh ghhhhrrhhhh ghrrrr#im fine im fine i just need to complain i need to be a bitch#ANDDD im tired cause i coulsnt sleep which isng helping#god ive been having a bunch of panic attacks lately too i stopped having them so much after quitting school
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;~; (tags vent)
#i feel so lonely and i dont know how to fix it#im trying to engage with people. im trying ot take space. im trying but nothing is helping#and like im hormonal so i wanna cry about it today#and like this loneliness isnt for one reason only#there's no One Thing#but so so many things making me feel like i cant connect#and even wiht making progress and even with coping and even with reminidng myself its okay to just feel bad sometimes like#i want company. i dont want online company i want irl company. i want friends. and im so miserable about the fact that i struggle to#make irl friends - not bc im not a good friend!! honestly tehre's been plenty of opportunities for me to make friends is the worst part#between work; disabilities; energy; and like interests/things to talk about its really hard to make friends (and tbh the first three-#really are the biggest drains). and i love my online friends i do i jsut. miss them all so much when i talk too much and then it hurts more#and i lost a friend group recently so im feelng really out of place#nearly everyday for the last idk. 5 months i had a group of people going “hey. love you” (even if they didnt say it verbatim daily) and lik#im so sad! and the feelings are coming out today ig cause i havenothing to do at work so im just. here#but yeah - ik part of this grief im experiencing is YET AGAIN experiencing change and loss re:friendships bc of things largely out of my#control /: and every time this happens it just brings up every single wound#im talking with my therapist about it too i just. wish friends were more permanent in my life yk?#or at least that i had friends irl still /: but all my deepest connections are all So far away#and it hurts so much to miss ppl rn im just. isolating myself#but i dont awnt to TALK. i dont want to TEXT. i dont want to hang out on a vc. i awnt to be held and loved and just talked to about anythin#other than the stresses in peoples lives. i want people to infodump to me w/o me having to Beg or Engage Correctly#i want people to tell me about themselves. jsut fucking lore dump in my inbox. its not dumping. i dont care about trauma dumping. if you do#cw i guess i jsut. im so tired. im tired of the “haiiiiii love you!!!!!” i have to do over the keyboard to have social connections#im tired of being so disabled i cant make friends bc no one wants to be friends w/ me irl and all the reasons (“ur a flake” “u cancel plans#“u never want to go out” “u never have energy” “why do you disappear when you need to recharge it makes me feel bad?” etc etc etc) all#relate to me being disabled and like.i feel like the problem. my existence is a problem. and the worst part is all iwant to do is just.#go run errands with someone. do important tasks &get a little treat to celebrate after. go to the doctor. the hospital. wherever im allowed#i want ot be a PERSON#): i jsut miss my friends#and liek im going to a thing later this month to try and make friends irl even if its just exercise friends
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Okay, but do you have thoughts on th DLC having an extra karaoke song basically getting paywalled? Honestly, I'm otherwise pretty chill about the idea of Majima-themed pirate game, but that's the one thing that makes me go 🤨🤨🤨
ive always been Eh about dlc: i definitely dont prefer it to be a standard and i do prefer it if EVERYTHING is available at launch or in-game somehow. im chill with dlc if it's something major like the kaito files: something big that clearly had a lot of time put into it, but not big enough that it can be its own thing. alternatively, i dont mind super small non consequential dlc like extra material for ishin either: you can still get those items in-game, it's just that buying them in advanced makes a process go faster. i think my only major gripe is costume dlc like i wanna make my chara look silly .... cmon now ...
specifically in regards to karaoke, it doesnt bother me too much. it'd be nice to play the song, but i also only really do the karaoke minigames once or twice just to get a perfect streak, then im done. especially when rgg's karaoke songs- while fun- arent super challenging enough for me to wanna replay multiple times. with that in mind, i would have preferred it to be in the base game, and that DOES irk me a bit, but it's not going to totally sour my mood acknowledging it
if this were a rhythm game at its core and was more complex and difficult, then id be fine with a song being dlc since i know the gameplay would be worth replaying multiple times and i wouldnt feel like i just paid for a one-or-two-time thing. but rgg's karaoke generally doesnt provide the challenge i think warrants paying for an extra song
in my opinion.
#snap chats#am i making sense. im not im supposed ot be taking notes rn vjAELKAJ#like i was happy to get the dlc songs for P4D since i love that game and ive replayed miku's Heaven and The Fog. MANY times#i got full value out of those esp when they were only like $6 each. theyre my favorite maps in the game too#esp with rgg's karaoke the cinematics for the karaoke dont even last the whole song#so i cant even say you can watch a cool three-some-minute amv for the price#i didnt think i had so many thoughts about karaoke dlc but here we are ... oops ...
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learned how to make onigiri and ong its so fucking good MAN its so delicious
#im making noodle & tuna ones rn ((ive eaten some on friday yesterday and today too ot was like 1kg of sticky rice in 3 days))#((but granted i shared some with friends too so idk!))#as proximas tags sao dedicadas aos de verdade#se vcs quiserem fazer onigiri eu tenho tipo. algumas dicas e conselhos aq pra comprar as paradas#(levamdo em consideração que eu moro em capital ent tem loja especifica pra essas coisas e os preços são mais caros)#o arroz oriental da qualita que eu comprei em um supermercado normal naql pedaço que tem algumas coisinhas diferentes foi beeeem mais barato#doq o que eu comprei num mercado oriental mais especifico (a diferença foi de tipo. 13 reais pra um kg de arroz)#(o da qualita tava uns R$10.32 pra um kg q não é mto insano pra um arroz diferente!!)#o nori eu so achei no mercado especifico mas eu comi um sem a alga e ainda é bem gostoso#(faz uma diferença um pouco grande ent se isso te incomoda se pa é melhor vc procurar uma receita que nao precise necessariamente do nori#(tipo o bibimbap coreano que é bem parecido cm um poke. vale a pena pesquisar e vc ainda pode usar o atum enlatado nele !!)#pro recheio eu fiz alguns de kimchi que a minha irma comprou ((e nao comeu.....)) mas comparados aos de atum cm maionese eu n achei mto bom#o recheio eu fiz cm atum enlatado ao natural cm maionese helmans#nao importa muito qual maionese vc usa eu acho e o atum pode ser oq vc gosta ou tem em casa msm#eu tive q comprar pq a minha mãe n come carne sbdbajsb#ent onigiri é realmente um bolinho de arroz asiatico com um recheio de atum cm maionese#eu nao sei como seria a situação wm uma cidade menor ou mais pro inteiror (lembrando eu moro em capital e sou meio burguês) mas#se vc quiser mto fazer ir atras do arroz nos mercados e tal vale a pena#lembrando tb que eu nao sou nem asiatico nem descendente de asiatico eu so fiz a minha pesquisa e adaptei um pouco a#receita pra nao gastar 100 reais em bolinhos#é isso gente 😁 desculpa se eu fui meio cego a situação fora de capital eu genuinamente tentei nao ser babaca (se eu fui pode me falar)#bjos bjos adeus#talk
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you know, i REALLY want to start working on a giant crochet blanket, but i'm afraid i'll lose interest in the two months it'll take me to do it 😭😭😭 and also blanket yarn is RIDICULOUSLY expensive !!!! WHY.
#its like shockingly expensive !!!#if i need like 35 squares for a pattern and a skein thats $14 makes me 2 or MAYBE 3 squares????#im gonna bankrupt myself smfh.#i have a thousand creative projects to work on rn but fuck ot#it*#i think ill do it! crochet blankets are sooooo cozy. and not to be morbid but. theyre a really nice sentimental thing#and I'd love to leave behind something like a blanket. something that makes you cozy and happy and safe#ANYWAY time to break the bank !!!#chatter
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kurgerburger... nutrience....
#u can get half fries half onion rings now did u guys knwo that#help why did my phone try to suggest ''indica'' when i was trying to type onion#im a shriveled husk of a person rn. do u know how much overtime ive been doing lately......#i ahvent even been getting ot pay for all of it bc ive been making up unpaid time im so dying#but like i have been getting SOME ot pay at least .#anyway i didnt get burger bc i dont like burger but i got chicken fries.
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#im so sick of feeling fucking stupid at my job because no one knows what the fuck they are doing i want to quit#im three seconds from ignoring this shit until its not my problem of quiting i don't get paid to problem solve like this#this is shit that should have been done and actually fucking tested months ago#not while its happening live i fucking hate this company i fucking this industry its all predatory and run off of greed i feel like im a#contributing factor while also not being laid enough to problem solve this fucking shig#i fucking hate everything rn and especially my lead who makes me look like the brain dead person of the office bitch i do not care about#any of this shit and im tired of putting in OT and shit is still fucked BECAUSE NO ONE HAS A GOD DAMN CLUE HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS
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it's fat tboy season fuckers I just dropped 50 bucks i dont have on shorts because all the ones I own aren't sexy enough
#mud rambles#or they dont fit to be fucking honest#my fat ass and waist are too fuckin pwoerful for normal people clothers#hopefully these fit nice it's from a shop i used before that fit nice os! hopes r up#i also got a gay little shirt ot match one of da shorts#i should not be allwoed to buy theings on 2 hours of slefep#got 3 pairs of dolphin shorts#2 are like.ly gonna be a lill tight but that's the point#becasue shorts made for fat people aren't made the same#they always make them more modest than their straight sized counterparts#which is fukcing bullshit#i wann ashow some ass too dog#like they're not even made to like. fit better or anything they just fukcin gmake it with more matierial relative to the skinny clothes bc#god forbit fat people show skin#it's especially evident with the fukcing waistband#i wish all shops that make fat people clothes high waisted by defualt without even labelling the;m as high waisted a very die#a very die i will fuking kill you myself#i like high wasited shit but to fucking make shit like that default??? why the fukc do i have to hide my stomach just bc im fat fuc you#jesus christ i need to sleep these typos arent even intentional#im typing super slow rn to not make a hundred typos GOD
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yeah imma have to do something
#the moment i heard my dad say he might try to do a retail job on the weekends just ot make ends meet#when he already does back breaking physical labor im like#nooo the hell ur not#sooo im having to ocnsider somethings#im alrady doing discounted comms for the first week of march#so i either need to try to push comms more or see if my old job wouldnt mind me working 2 shifts a week since#the money is good there#I know im vague af for irl things but shits tough rn
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hhh
#i do not know what is going on with me rn i am feeling so much#but i dont fuckinf knoe what it is!!!! im so desperate for a change or to be wanted ot whatever#to do something every day that doesnt make me feel like im selling out for no fuckinf reason#maybe i just wanna be kissed i dont fuckinf know
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