#i know this isnt a solo but whatever

[delicatepointofview]

gonna have to deal with people missing the point of louis singing 1d songs in festivals... don't get me started on the other covers

[moeblob]

(throws them into a modern AU)

So since Ymber wouldn't be a deity there are some things he lacks physically - such as no pointed ears and no bright blue undertones to his hair. Just the basic blue. (does he dye it in a modern AU ? who knows) Also while he doesn't have a collar to symbolize his servitude to humans I still think he should have a choker.

I had some help a while back brainstorming how there would be some form of "superior" dynamic could still exist and I really liked the idea given that he's a famous architect. (he does design all constructs for his city as a deity so it checks out - he likes buildings) And Deacon just admires all the guy's works and never expects to run into him but of course they do! Gotta have a very awkward "oh it's you I'm going to melt into the earth" and "I have no idea who you are but we should hang out".

Sooo Deacon still just really admires Ymber and feels like they're on totally different levels and doesn't understand why Ymber would want to associate with him since he's just a "boring human".

[celestialmancer]

💢 //

[honeytonedhottie]

the tea on self love⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🍵

the most important relationship that you're ever going to have during your lifetime is the relationship with yourself. its the longest relationship that you'll ever be in, therefore its crucial to make this relationship flourish.

first understand ; love is unconditional. theres no such thing as conditional love, if its conditional then it is NOT love. that means regardless of past mistakes, your love for yourself is still there and its still strong. the love for yourself is the only love that will always be there. because people change and they come and go, but you're with yourself ALL hours of the day, and forEVER.

because people change, you cannot rely on the love of others all of the time. the love that u feel for urself shouldn't decrease just because your surrounded by individuals who love you a lot. if anything ur self love should grow, but never shrink.

its easy to grow dependent on the love from others, your friends, family, partner.. but the truth of the matter is, if ur self love isnt solid and grounded then when that person inevitably changes or grows or leaves ur life, then you perception of self love will crumble.

practicing self love ; start asking yourself "how i feel today" or "what do i need/want today" be more conscious of urself and ur feelings, just as you would if u were being thoughtful and considerate to a friend or partner that you loved.

do not EVER speak badly about yourself. even in a "joking" manner. bcuz guess what, ur brain can't tell the difference between when ur joking and when ur being serious. your words have power!! the same love and support that u provide to ur friends when they've made a mistake is the same, if not more, support and love that u should give urself when u make mistakes.

often times we beat ourselves up over mistakes that we make but thats not healthy at ALL. make ur mind a peaceful, beautiful, and safe place to be, where u can cultivate ideas and growth. instead of a place where ur walking on eggshells all of the time bcuz ur scared of imperfection.

make a promise to yourself that regardless of how u feel or what happened in ur life, that you won't talk badly about yourself. only tell yourself good things!!

be conscious of how you treat urself ; are you considerate enough of ur own health or well being? if the answer is no, then what are you even doing? treat urself with tender love and care. if you feel tired, sleep. if you feel hungry, eat. if you long for something, give it to yourself. dont deny yourself anything and please please look after yourself.

ways to show yourself love depending on ur love language ; if u dont know ur love language, take this quiz ✨ and find out.

if ur love language is physical touch...

try yoga

take a bubble bath

buy a weighted blanket or one of those pregnancy pillows

if ur love language is receiving gifts...

go on solo trips

investing in yourself

buying gifts for urself when u go out

if ur love language is words of affirmation...

practice gratitude

practice saying ur affirmations out loud to urself

give yourself compliments

if ur love language is acts of service...

practicing self care

meal prepping meals that u know u love to eat

clean and organize ur space

if ur love language is quality time...

go for a relaxing walk

start journalling

try meditation

have some quiet time and replenish yourself, take a long nap, do whatever u need to do to show yourself that YOU LOVE YOU, bcuz u should 🫶🏽

the mindset of someone who loves themselves ;

"im going to give my body the best that i can possibly manage"

"my body is a temple, so im going to treat it as such"

"im going to be conscious of what i say and think to myself about myself, and only feed myself good thoughts"

[lucidicer]

regarding violent affairs and my hiatus

i just want to say the only reason this post will exist is to serve as an answer to questions that will undoubtedly come eventually. from now on violent affairs is going to be a solo project focusing solely on sioar and the world i created for them. dont send asks trying to pry into the reasons why because the only people who need to know are me and the friends ive chosen to confide in over the past months. ive put in too much work and dedication in this project from naming it, creating the directory and so much writing and cc to just throw it away because of other people. ive been hurting greatly this year and truly miss creating and seeing all the amazing creations from my mutuals but sadly i still have a lot of healing i need to do so i think ill be gone until 2025.

my friends have been the only thing keeping me grounded and i couldnt be more grateful, truly the only reason i haven't just abandoned this blog and everything that came with it. namely sascha and nene <3 i don't know what i'd be doing rn if not for them.

this isnt a decision made on a whim, ive thought long and hard about this, ive let my patience wear itself out and now i just want to move on and do what i love doing again.

to my former co creator, considering you refuse to acknowledge my existence this is the way ive had to go about things. ive done everything i can. spin it any way you please or pretend i never existed in the first place. do whatever you want, i dont care, its not my problem and it's most definitely not my fault.

i currently have no desire to delete my past va posts since i put a lot of work into each and every one, i may just make a separate new tag in the new year. i'm not sure just yet. that's all i wanted to say, see you all in a bit.

[regretevator-confessions]

when am i gonna see solo split art or at the very least split art that isnt split/bive. i have nothing against spive (do whatever u want forever) and i know there is split art thats not about it but when the majority of split art is spive i feel like the fandom doesnt care to acknowledge her existence outside of the ship </3

.

[arlcchin]

Maddi haters are the weakest links A FUCKING THREAD. Tw:opinion?!?!?😨😨

-first off im gonna say. I am a victim of sexual assault. And i hate how people Lied and spread rumors about Maddi "saing" Mammon. And its only because she said him and luci and satan are "her types" and because shes a fucking girl. AND DONT EVEN TRY TELLING ME "no its not because shes a girl.OH BOY YES IT IS.

Ur favs did so much more wrong things then Maddi making someone uncomfortable.

Literally tried to kill u, oh wait one of them ALMOST FUCKING SUCCEEDED.

2. The fact everyone freaked out about 13 when she got out to the point they went on to harass Solmare to delete her just proves more.

I just want to say.

I LOVE Evil women and Mean fictional women.If youre mad ,that means shes written well, tho Maddi isnt even in the game yet and everyone is shitting on her.

If it was man everyone would be like "oh my god i love him so hot"

Just proves that not EVEN FICTIONAL WOMEN CAN ESPACE SEXISM.

Im not saying u cant hate Maddi,or whatever the fuck. Just dont make stupid ass headcanons that are harmful or disgusting or just doesnt make sense bcs u know nothing about her. Shes a beautiful witch and ure acting like she shouldnt have feelings or her type.

And ure acting like Lucifer probably didnt fuck people before us. Hes over 10,000,000 years old.

Stop being insecure over a fucking pixel holy shit YOU ARE THE MC. MC GETS EVERYONE. IF MADDI EVER COMES TO THE GAME SHE WILL PROBABLY BE OUR DATEABLE.

Oh and.

There was this rumor going around Maddi had sex with Lucifer,help me God tell me u didnt read the escorts without telling me.

Oh no Satan and Lucifer compliment one of the most beautiful witches ever BEFORE THEY EVEN MET MC?! CRAZYYY

Bye. Mean hot witch women solos 🔥🔥🔥🔥🙏🙏☠️☠️

[sendmyresignation]

if you wanna indulge me, id love to hear your opinions on sing (all of mine are detractory which i know isnt the complete view of the song)

omg id love too!! sorry this took me a sec to formulate post-work haha. i know we don't agree about sing but honestly that's the beauty of music opinions- I feel like it becomes easier to define what I like about things when faced with legit measured criticism anyway

for me, i want to start with the structure and instrumental since it's usually not mentioned (most of the criticisms of sing are exclusively lyrical or intention-focused). it's so cool. and evocative. and full of tension!! my favorite use of synth on danger days, plus the keys and the drums (man i love the dd studio musician drums lmao), really emphasizes sing as a suspended moment both in the album (necessary bridge, tonally, between bulletproof and planetary imo) and in the track itself- its alllll building up to that bridge and final chorus. but there's all these little pieces- the backing vocals, there's so many hidden guitar parts that riff just under all the noise, that opening like, tambourine. sorry for not having a quote on hand but Ray's said he really loved writing sing and it's so totally obvious to me. especially live- part of the reason I was soooooo excited for sing swarm tour edition is that even during dd ray was like absolutely shredding for sing after the bridge. and everytime time it's so good. part of the reason the lyrics don't bother me is sing could stand alone instrumentally and I'd still want to listen to it. (sing also reminds me of Ray's solo music- the sentiment is more significant that the lyrics and the music is itself a vehicle for storytelling)

also though, i think there's a lot of intention with sing (it's up to the listener to determine if that paid off obv) but within the context of dd the record as a pirate radio station, sing has always read as a trojan horse song. making it a single too, like once a song takes on a life of its own outside the record there's new meaning and circumstance. so both within and outside the killjoy universe sing is a vehicle for not just the bridge but the overall sentiment of dd (how fucking excited was gerard when glenn beck took the glee bait) like, yes, i do agree they could've benefited from another pass over the lyrics (i will always defend keeping "sing it till your nuts" bc its sounds like sing it to your nuts though) but I don't personally get the criticism that sing isn't "specific enough" about what exactly it's against or is too optimistic about "sing it for the world"-- i think there are songs on the album (notably planetary right after it!) which do that job just fine. dd is gerard in arguably top lyrical form so theres a lot of meat in the rest of the record like. sing it for the world is a purposely simplistic art is the weapon. like those are the same sentiments rendered very differently!

also like. i do think there was a very directed target at the younger part of their fan base here (girl/boy) which is sweet. to me. like i did hear sing first when i was a young teen (one of the few dd songs i was familiar with) and it did feel huge and empowering at that moment. my chem are their best when they are navigating the dualities of their specific fame, which includes simultaneously making very serious, adult rock music which is concerned with violence death grief and sex, as well as being a role model for younger people and taking them seriously and neither of these are in rhetorical conflict with each other. so like whatever sing is a little juvenile. but it's still filled with passion! taken as a legitimate project with a creative instrumental and a narratively-driven music video. I like that aspect, it works for me. I'll never call it my favorite my chem song but its certainly not the worst when you add in the bridge (i wanted to prove my point without the bridge but like. damn!! it's a good bridge!!!). that's my spiel.

[swaglet]

Being born a really smart really talented really gifted genius is such a bummer because eventually you DO have to choose one thing to do. That's a lie no you don't. I can spend the rest of my life doing 5 million things because i'm really good at 5 million things and the rest of the world is not and they're sooo jealous and mad that they're confined to being wageslaves or whatever. I was born a beautiful amazing special genius i need to put it to use.... wtf.......... can you guys tell im kind of drunk btw i have apple flavored beer it's rly yummy. You know what's fucked up? my high school kept making me play the solo parts in all our musicals because they didn't want to hire professional musicians and pay them. they made me do that shit for free. wtf is thattttt i was straight up 14 years old playing next to people who had 40 years of experience in an orchestra picking my fucking nose scared as shit because my school was cheap as hell why was i born in bumfuck nowhere i could be god if i was born in LA or hollywood or NYC or literwlly anywhere with a population density that isnt negative

[kalopsic-lagomorph]

literally cannot stress enough how much we do not know about floyd, which is great in fandom cos everyone can add hcs or whatever but. bro has like two lines after getting rescude

he says he wants to go home but we never see if he even lives anywhere. is he traveling? does he have friends waiting for him? did he ever end up doing that solo career?

we dont know how he got kidnaped or why he was in mount rageous

we dont even how he interacts with adult bruce and clay

i know he was busy being tortured and that isnt exactly good for showing off ur personality but he feels like a plot device

[god-has-entered-my-body]

𝚆𝚎𝚕𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚘𝚏: 𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚊'𝚜 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚕𝚘𝚐

(i'm not alright.)

I physically cannot do this shit anymore oh my god kill me. Right so dream starts out i'm in my usual club, the layout is the same, the people are the same, everythings good amazing wonderful. mind you this feels REAL like i can feel people against the and taste the drink in my hand kind of real. I move up to the front where the DJ booth is, and i see this weird staircase leading up to it which shouldve been my first red flag because those stairs dont exist in realy life.

Of course this is a dream where i meet all four members of the band + the dare and fucking fumble so hard oh my god. i can still feel the nervousness like it was REAL. Right no so i see Matty first, then George. The height difference is comical as always, and Matty has his fuckass mustache and just is watching DJ man do his thing.

I can literally feel my phone in my pocket and i take it out to see notifications from a certain groupchat (you know who you are) talking about some sort of Matty sighting at a party and im literally THERE so i start fucking freaking out man idk because he's just THERE like he isnt being out of the ordinary or anything.

So i just walk up to him and say his name like three times and he turns to me, gives me a look and his face weirdly changes and he offers a hug which i could FEEL mind you. I have sunglasses on and im litch tearing up this whole time and SOMEHOW i manage to muster up the courage to ask him to sign a napkin with a weirdly short felt tip pen whilst im on the verge of a menty B.

George is sort of stood behind him the whole time and i ask him for a hug too and i swear to god and all that is good i could feel that mans body temperature and his hands on my back im so so so fucking serious.

Next i see king of gay people adam fucking hann and oh my goddd he was just THERE LIKE ????????? I could see him smile and he hugged me and signed my fuckass napkin and gave me a kiss on the cheek after i started raving on about his spot on that one guitarists list and whatnot. His hug felt so REAL im going to sob like. get these men out of my LIFE i cant fucking take this someone shoot me in the face.

Ross i couldnt see which fucking crushed me but i felt matty's hand on my shoulder and he said we'd go look for him and i was like okay king??????? huh??????? but whatever we go back down thus fuckass staircase and i fall down flot on my face but also somehow i didnt and i keep walking until we reach this weird, long, oktoberfest-esque type of table which has NO business being in an indoor club okay whatever moving on.

He sits down at this table and i sit across from him, and he fully takes my hands and starts yapping about some fucking weird shit whilst im on the verge of spilling actual tears which freaked me out. also i just start talking about his music and solo career and asked what George was doing on aug. 2nd (which he did NOT give an answer to).

Whatever im clutching his napkin like only death itself could rip it for me and Matty asks go see it and i'm like. mate.... okay fine whatever here. this bitch straight up forges Ross's signature and shows me it and it LOOKS SHITEEEEE IT LOOKED SO BAD im going scream and cry but whatever.

I tell him it looks horrible and he laughs his stupid twink laugh that we all miss and i get back up to hunt for ross ( which is what we should have been doing in the FIRST PLACE but alas)

I find this massive fucking 8'4 rock of a man and hes so large his hug is weird and awkward because his hands are just on my head the whole time (height difference was COMICALLY big, omg hi twin matty and george).

Right so i get this autograph, and they all leave and im just stood there in fucking shock and terror because i get met the core members of british band the 1975 in a GERMAN CLUB nad im just like... okay...... what the FUCK mate im literally mortified. That conversation with Matty at the oktoberfest-esque table was LONGGG mind you it took fuckign ages it was so so so insane.

So naturally i text my 75 ride or die fuckign tumblr user @dh--ii (love you G) and i fully cant remember his reaction to ANYTHING. but i just know i sent a picture of the george part of the napkin for him to freak out about.

right this is where things get foggy because now im texting in previously mentioned GC, and i look up and im in this weird security camera security room with THE DARE. Hes shirtless (mmhmmm thank you brain 4 that) and is giving cunt slash neg when he looks at me but like. who can blame him honestly.

Right so i introduce myself and he does the same and gives me one of half assed bro side hugs and i accept because its fucking him who wouldnt.

This man yaps and yaps and yaps about guess and his production and how amazing charli and george are and how he loved boiler room so so so much and this is when i see charli and george full making out on one of those security cameras. i look away out of respect and shes fully got her tits out but i STILL look away xxxxxx

I go to open my phone to text G a picture of the fucking dare shirtless IN FRONT OF ME because that man shares my obsession with this little cunt and its insane. Thats when i fucking wake up from this fuckass dream and i literally start going mental trying to figure out if this was a dream, trying to litch cope with my life i was so so so so disoriented

this was simultaneously the best and worst dream of my life like. jesus fucking christ. If you read this far youre a legend and also insane

[reflectionlike]

I think Jin is the ultimate proof that marketing or narratives matter so much to people that they will disregard things they see with their own two eyes just to nod along to prevailing sentiment

Taehyung is the member i dislike the most in BTS so this isnt an emotional bias and yes he's had some hairline work done compared to Jin who I think has almost no surgical procedures done but I still think objectively he's ten times more attractive than Jin. However armys (outside Tae biased) will swear to you that Jin is the ultimate visual. Same thing with Hobi and Jimin regarding dance.

It's not that Jin isn't handsome or Hobi isn't a good dancer but people need to be fr. Hobis dances never go viral like Jimin's. Same for Jins visuals compared to Taehyung. First time BTS fans who haven't been mind rotted yet would all say that. Similar to what you said, I find Jins visuals so cold and lacking any kind of - well to be crude - sex appeal or it factor. He's a bit ken doll-ish. Which is fine! It's not a failing in any way. It's just annoying when people try to tell me that Jin is somehow the greatest visual when in practice I only see people mostly thirsting over the maknae line or writing odes to Jimin and Tae's faces but yeah Jin and the other members told us he's the most handsome so it must be true. Just like they told us Hobi is the best dancer 🙄

Amis are too susceptible to hybes marketing and mediaplay. "JK is the most successful member". "BTS have a lot of power in hybe because they are shareholders". I wish people could be more honest and objective and look at actual evidence instead of following whatever they're told

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

But also, calling yourself Worldwide handsome and reinforcing an aesthetic superiority upon yourself, works. Branding works, promotion and narratives works, that how the world is.

J-hope IS a great dancer and performer, and Jin IS objectively very handsome, especially for Korean standards. But they are forgettable, they don’t cause abrupt sensations. I would describe their individual brand as pleasant. A skilled dancer and a comfortable package to look at, its safe and true. What I think both lack from our perspective, because they have fans and they sure see something that we don’t, is charisma. That “can’t stop looking at you” feeling, bordering on becoming obsession is what Jimin has that no one will ever be able to replicate.

Jungkook is perceived as hot, and he is exploiting it now more than ever. But he also is pretty engaging with fans, he knows how to keep audiences entertained doing just silly things ( I am talking about his lives and reactions to things). He is a walking meme and armys love that.

Taehyung, the idol, looks like a real life video game/anime character. His features are striking and make a lot of people spill poetry because is what he causes. He is a stirring person, he makes people talk…except for his music, which is very unfortunate.

Armys are not only susceptible to Hybes Marketing, they were fundamentally built to be that way and to never question what members say. Members words are sacred and that is very convenient because it gives the company and the group a certain sense of control of what they would like to be and what they sell. That’s not bad, is business. But what you can try but not always succeed with is having a 100% control of public perception, and that’s how Jimin comes and disrupts. His role and how he should be perceived, and this is micro level still because he is only building his solo fandom and soloist brand and that takes time and investment, but the thing is that he has the ability to draw attention, you can’t stop looking at him, he fucking shines, and I am not even talking as her fan, I was an army, I have seen how he is perceived by social media or the fandom and he is not someone that you can cast aside. He just has it, and it can’t be learned. You learn how to be charming, you don’t learn how to be charismatic, you born with it.

You see people gushing about maknae line and it’s because they are damn good products, and pardon my deshumanizing way of expressing myself, but I am talking about the idol persona, not the human behind. I am talking about the marketable side. And it’s not about beauty or talent because we see how the firstly mentioned members are, but at the same time, they are not.

[angstics]

long post rambling about mychem eagles —

there’s been a sort of depersonalization (probably wrong term?) push by artists and audiences to separate art from artist, and for the audience to see art as fictitious rather than biographical. im thinking about mitski. it seems much of mychem (gerard’s solo work too) is transparently “based on real life”.

talking about this because im thinking about “im her kind of girl, shes my kind of boy” and variations and how it is taken as a personal statement (or reflection or something). in eagles alone this line isnt the only one taken this way (the eagles references, “all along the coast theyre waiting”, “one good turn deserves another”, “everyone likes their picture taken”, “want you to set me on fire” etc all being band commentary) but there’s some nonsense (even one of the variations, “im her kind of dog, she’s my kind of cat”?), so there’s def a mix of fiction and non. it’s a good study of songs that live in the real-fiction area. suddenly thinking of that green day song about coming out. say what you will about green day, thats a wild song to put out in 1994. songs like these that speak to a certain experience that isnt totally universal… you know something that cant be a secret because it’s said out loud, but it’s a secret because you have an understanding that feels, well, intrusive. even with non queer stuff, like foundations. it is SO revelatory of what happened with the band, ESP since theyve avoided talking about it reeeeeally. but at the end of the day theyre still assumptions. even when he explicitly places HIMSELF, HIS STORY, in the song. IT’S STILL A SONG. IT WILL FOREVER BE JUST A SONG! WHAT IS TRUTH! is an interview truth? is a conversation truth? is your therapy session truth, is your diary? what is truth? what is truth? if art cant be truth what the fuck can it be?

i just started left hand of darkness so im on le guin’s authors note. she talks about this, which is probably why im thinking about it. she says:

“The only truth I can understand or express is, logically defined, a lie. Psychologically defined, a symbol. Aesthetically defined, a metaphor.”

well i dont know… maybe the artist understands as much as the viewer. in the sense that when art is created it isnt the artist’s anymore. who said that? probably gerard. so everyone is at equal footing. it is as true to the artist as it is to the spectator — more apt, the artist is a spectator. i guess im looking for intent (the encoding). it’s weird how we sometimes decode in order to know the encode, which is by definition unknowable.

WELL. all to say that i love that line (i love all of eagles) and im glad he said it and im glad it holds whatever meaning it has that he felt compelled to not only say it but to keep it for a while… it rules… i think about it all the time and im just so happy about it lol… but it is undeniable that part of the happiness is the person saying it - in 2 senses: that there IS someone and WHO that someone is. FINI

[beesmygod]

JJBA PART 5, VENTO AUREO IS THE UNDERBAKED MESS I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT FIXING...PART 1

imagine you are celebrating your big promotion at the pigeon crushing factory (in this world you make a living crushing pigeons into a cube, this isnt important) and decide to treat yourself to a delicious hibachi feast at the local grill. as you sit down, your chef introduces himself to you; to your surprise, the chef is reknown mangaka hirohiko araki!

"wow, amazing!" you think to yourself, "i can't wait to see what delicious treats he has waiting for me, especially after that scrumptious part 4 i had last time". araki smiles knowingly, seeing the recognition of his talent in the gleam of your wide eyes. with a dramatic flourish, begins his work. a wild and frenzied solo performance begins. ingredients are chopped and flung with dazzling accuracy, speed, and showmanship until you are presented with the fruits of his labor: a new dish, just for you.

there's one problem. he forgot to turn on the grill. or maybe he never meant to. his confidence leaves you unsure of what to do when he starts flinging raw onions into your mouth and encouraging you to chew. like the tragic chef from the clickhole video, he has served you a plate of raw chicken and vegetables and is now looking at you with his arms crossed over his chest waiting for you to dig in.

its not all bad. you can eat some of the veggies as long as they don't touch the chicken, but the majority of it is inedible. you didnt even get to see him do the cool onion thing. you push the plate back unfinished and hoping for an explanation for what the fuck just happened but when you look up, you realize araki has already left. his big chef hat and coat are lying on the floor where he shed them on his new journey to start a raw foods store having discovered his passion for organic veggies. next time you crush so many pigeons you get another promotion, you try the new store and its delicious. can't fault him, i guess!

this is the experience of watching jojo part 5.

---

and LOOK. i'm not lacking in perspective here. its presumptuous to say "i can do better" or "i could fix this" when it comes to anyone's work, let alone the work of someone singular like hirohiko araki. no one's brain operates the way his does, as evidenced by the paltry and weak attempts by the spin-off artists who struggle to recapture that same magic; they all lack whatever je ne se quoi araki has tapped into that's off limits to every other human on planet earth.

straight up, my approach to storytelling is too conventional to be a good replacement for araki's (who seems to be just completely unhinged both on and off the page) so my suggestions to "fix" part 5 are going to be broad strokes and not finely tuned fanfictions. there are just...things i would have like to see happen. and the list is long enough that i think it necessitates that this essay be done in parts. but everything you need to fix it is right there within the existing text. much like the bad meal, the manga (presumably, i only watched the anime. no! stop booing me!) has all the ingredients, the passion, and the skills to create a satisfying end result, its genuinely just missing the ability to bring it all together in a satisfying way. and it is so, so frustrating to watch unfold from the comfort of your couch.

however, for people not in the jojo know-know (who are just reading this bc it started with a pigeon crushing metaphor and you wanted to see where it was going), i do have to explain the historical lens we have to consider with part 5: it wound up being the first evolutionary step of araki's change in art style and story-telling conventions. the fashion aesthetics are wilder, the stakes are bigger, and the stands (WAY) more esoteric. with hindsight, we can look back and understand that it turned out to be weird because he was experimenting in real time (as artists who work serially have to due to the nature of the job) with what he was interested in and what he wanted to explore. so there's nothing WRONG with part 5 in the cosmic sense. and it wasn't without entertainment. and most of the characters were great!

it just that this whole thing causes me enough mental anguish to think about day in and day out to the point of writing what will turn out to be an embarrassing amount of words about my objectively least favorite part of a body of work i've come to adore. its fine. whatever.

come with me...join me whether you know jojo or not, as i try to stay sane tonight and many other nights. watch with concern and glee i rant incoherently about things that will make me seem like an absolute raving lunatic to anyone who is only barely familiar with the franchise and loosely understands it, as i only did, as a series about people who do pokemon but with ghosts who punch people.

first up, i need to do some comic work, and then we can talk about AHHH

OUT! GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT OF HERE! GET THAT BEAST AWAY

AHHH

[girlboss-malewife-gauntlet-melee]

QUARTERFINALS MATCH 3: YOR/LOID FORGER VS. PERCABETH

Yorger Propaganda (someone tell me if they have a ship name pls):

"They're both pretty badass but yor could absolutley solo him. she's strong as fuck and has a body count in the triple digits probably. meanwhile he likes to cook canonically and just loves his wife very much"

"they have an adopted daughter and they're the best cutest found family ever"

"Yor is an assassin and, while Loid is a spy, he's also the one who takes care of their kid and does all the cooking and a lot of the cleaning."

"She's a badass assassin by trade and he's a spy living that undercover domestic bliss life with a lil daughter and a dog... Loid: 'yes i do the cookin yes i do the cleanin--' also a note: they are legally married (marriage of convenience), but do have mutual feelings for one another (just haven't confessed yet). But it's basically accepted that they'll officially air their feelings to one another by the end of the story."

"I just love them 🥺. They're both hot and cool and love their lil family so much."

Percabeth Propaganda: (this isnt really a girlboss/malewife but whatever)

Annabeth is a clever daughter of Athena and good with a knife. Percy is a seaweed brain and he loves his gf :)

Come on guys. At least half of you were Percy Jackson kids. You know they're perfect for this

Percy literally admits to being a malewife like i'm not kidding. He talks about how he's amazing at cooking/cleaning/looking pretty. He loves his girlfriend Annabeth very much for being an awesome genius badass and they are just an amazing couple in general.

[gwagwagwagoogoo]

who do you think is the better cook out of denji and asa? also, who do you think is the big spoon and little spoon!

DENJI SOLOS ASA IN THE KITCHEN. I DONT CARE. YOU THINK THIS LOSER CAN FEND FOR HERSELF? SHE EATS MIRCOWAVABLE SHIT

Denji ISNT the best cook but he is better than Asa by leagues, girl touches a pan and everything fucking explodes and she suddenly has fallen down ten flights of stairs

Denji can like. Cook an egg. Bake it or whatever. That’s good enough for me, certified house wife

I Also know Nayuta is NOT cooking shit herself you know Denji’s feeding this maniac

As for little + big spoon, I believe they take turns

They both need someone to cradle and hold them secure at night, so I think they face eachother and cling. They’re both the big and little spoon, they hold the other and refuse to let go

They toss and turn in their sleep together but they rarely ever let the other go, they wake up usually with one crushing the other. I think they hold hands in their sleep if they aren’t cuddling because both are afraid when they wake up it’ll be over