#i know im like. 4 years late
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persona rarepair week 2020 day 6: shadows
#i know im like. 4 years late#god this is beautiful. j am SO listening#rarepair#persona 3#IM SO OBSESSED U DONT UNDERSTANDDDDD SHINJICHIDO ILY
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Hypothetical question but are we still into windbreaker (nii satoru)? Y'all cool if I put my hyper fixation on center stage?
#wind breaker#windbreaker#wind breaker nii satoru#windbreaker nii satoru#i uh...found my new hyper fixation#once again super late to the party#you would not BELIEVE how long I've been twidling my thumbs waiting for SOMETHING to show up in my dingy space i call a brain to get excited#im gonna be real with yall after writing genshin for 4+ years#(literally started within the first month genshin dropped)#kinda fucking bored of it 👍#not to say im dropping genshin thats my baby#but i would like to uhh branch out you know#i get super brief fixations (literally had a blue lock phase and why i dropped off the face kf the earth that one time) and wrote like 15#fics on bl that never ended up getting posted cause this was a genshin/hsr blog#but i uh would like to possibly change that you know#i just wanna write more things without feeling like i need to create an entirely separate blog ;-;#but yeah uh super brief fixation windbreaker is a temporary thing (assuming there is even a reader base that's interested. if not#(if not. totally fine. back to genshin we go) but im not dropping anything. i just wanna write about more things#psa over
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college … wasted on the youth (me)
#didnt help that 2/4 yrs was covid telezoom but man.. MANNN#forgetting how impossible it is to pursue rhe degree plan u actually want (advising hell) i feel like . theres just#so many diff things i want to learn now Knowing that im more solidified in my interests and who i am and what i would be interested in doing#and like.😭RGAAAAAQH TEARING MYHAIR OUTTT every other week i have a night where im sititng there like damn i couldve been sm1 completely dif#dgmw i still rly enjoy some of the upper div classes i Did take but what if i took x and liked it more or minored in y and it led me to z#bc i do feel rly set in where i am rn which . i DO ! like it but im never gna be in that environment where u have the flexibility to explore#ykwim . i wish i had taken physics and calc srsly . i always thought i hated that shit but i like it. i like it quite a lot actually😟#or more geology .. urrghh.. sprinkle in sme extra art history . no bc thats what actu pissed me off ab school#i rmbr wanting to dual major and they straight up told me no i cant . but then i was like maybe an arts major bio minor when i wanted to do#science illustration but sry we dont offer bio minor . ok bio major arh or studio art minor . no sry not enough open spots we rly only#reserve it for when we have extra openings post admission❤️#and then even late into sophomore year u would still be last in registration so all the cool classes would be closed#and then bc of covid half that shit was cancelled bc they couldnt transfer labs online (rip comparative vertebrate anatomy)#and then by senior yr an additional collection of classes were unavailable bc u dont have the prereqs bc the prereqs were cancelled during#covid and u dont have enough semesters left to actually take it . like it was gen such an awful experience so ik why i couldnt ever do what#i wanted but .😭 AND LIKE the classes i DID enjoy like genomics or molecular genetics were closed by registration and i had to email and beg#for access . thts crazy .literally crazy .#anyways . i think i want 2 start reading textbooks bc i think thats the closest ill get LMAOO#i remember seeing my coworker read a textbook for fun one time and idk why i just didnt understand why bc it seemed so dry but i Get it now#like yeah .. u knew what was up ..#sad too that like . i could theoretically audit a course but i Work..during the day .. so sad . so sad#guys wht if i just said yes to grad school (<the devil talking.dont agree)
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i filled a whole canvas with shitty little rose doodles te other day and this was the only one that came out even half decent LAWL. can u tell i lik e stylizing -_-
#my art#doodle#rose lalonde#WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I PISTED A draAWING THAT WASNT LIKE. FOR ANYTHING. HUH?????#ages ages its been Ages#i havent like. drawn. like i used to for almost a full year now. idk wats up w that#but anyway mostly i make a lot of silly shitty low effort doodles nowadays#almost all of them will never be seen by anybody. the other ones from this drawing for example#or like. i drew alpha rose too. nobodys gonna Ever fucking see that. i think it makes it a little easier 4 me 2 relax knowing that#like just focus on having fun or whatever. maybe#also thats a lie 1 person has seen it and thhat was my friend matt. but thats only because he was sitting behind me as i was drawing LOL#anyways. its late and cold So im gonna go to bed bye forever everyone#i am every canon compliant homestuck character fans worst nigjtmare 💪💪💪
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COOKIES OF DARKNESS NATION WE ARE OFFICIALLY BACK 💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
(long rambling in tags if u care)
#cookie run#licorice cookie#red velvet cookie#affogato cookie#I KNOW im late to this but i was at school ok 🙄 anyways i have a lot of thoughts#first off LICORICE UGH I MISSED HIM SO BAD IM SO HAPPY FOR HIM#his stats are so fascinating to me. i don't think anyone was expecting his strength to be that high#its pretty average but its still his best stat surprisingly#im shocked his strategy and puzzle solving are only 3. i think that's a strange decision to make them so low but I'm open to accepting it#maybe his avoidance/lack of ability to see the big picture contributes to the low scores?#his stats are so unexpected but I could get used to it. still i want an elaboration from devsis on these#i want them to show his strength in the show because i was expecting his strength to be like. 3 or 4#but anywho. i think its very funny how affo is 0 strength. i love how its canon licorice could easily kick his ass in a fist fight#i really do love affo and im SO happy to see him with the cod fucking finally all we got with him as a cod until now was ODYSSEY 😭#im so excited to see him work with the cod as an actual member. he's a very fun character for me#i cant wait for them to actually make him feel like one of the cookies of darkness its been over a year since he joined by now c'mon#im just so ecstatic that the cod are back. hopefully this is a good omen and will pave the way for more cod appearances soon#bcs u all know how i feel about the lack of cod for the better part of the past year. this better be their comeback i believe in them#😁😁😁😁😁😁 IM JUST SO HAPPY THIS IS THE BEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME IM SO HAPPY U HSVE NO IDEA I LITERALLY SCREAMED#btw ik crepe is there. but they're in a weird grey area of being a cod so i didn't post them BUT IM VERY HAPPY THEY'RE THERE TOO ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#♦️charlie's miscellaneous
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dentist appointment today and I am so so scared
#theyre going to be soooo mad at me :(#brushing my teeth is like. my main huge struggle hygiene-wise#i dont know it just never became habit and im nauseous so often that imagining putting something in my mouth is hell#ive been doing better lately- mostly because it makes my mouth feel a little better when the teeth hurt#but im so bad at it and have been for years and years#and it's so embarrassing to have to tell a stranger like. yeah I can't do something most 4 year olds have covered
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the school arc to me is so good because it drags ciel out of his position as a powerful figure and literally places him in the shoes of the person he could have been. the circus arc ALSO drags him out of his position as big bad queens watch dog/head of the phantomhive estate but the school arc feels like a mockery of a future that never was. this is what he could have been had his parents not died. and even then its NOT because he will never be that kid.
he never was.
#ramblings#incoherent beyond belief its 4 am#and im trying to avoid manga spoilers#might add a reblog with more coherent thoughts when i wake up but im off my meds so i cant promise anything#actually correction im being vague w the manga spoilers#manga readers know whats up#idk if there are any anime only ppl who havent been spoiled on The Plottwist Ever yet#but i figured there will be new fans and though im not tagging this it might still get seen so#cant WAIT to see our boy absolutely miserable in animation form should they recreate that arc LMAOOO#which ofc is after the germany arc so thats still a long time away#but STILL. itd be fun i need to see this young teenager lose his mind in color with sound#him relying on sebastian to do all his fag duties (sorry. dredge) so he can work his way up the social ladder#trying to gain power while simultaneously proving that he cant do anything but rely on others#hes always needed help in basically every way and he hasnt CHANGED he just got a demon to do it for him#he learns to lie and charm and cheat and all the while hes a fucking CHILD WHO STILL STRUGGLES WITH NORMAL THINGS#ciel is my little baby and i love him deeply no matter how much of a little bitch he can be#his helplessness isnt just 'oh he was raised in british high society' its also that he never got the chance to learn anything#which to elaborate on that id also have to go into manga territory. iykyk#like absolutely at this point he just refuses to learn how to do things he has a pet demon to do it for him#but.#hi the phantomhives backstory is killing me again its so late#both atlantic and the school arc are just setup for the Big Arc but theyre very good in their own right i SWEAR#also when i rewatched the circus arc a while back and i realised how some scenes were shot#the heavy foreshadowing that i didnt realise. yk. 7 years ago or however long its been since i first watched it#CRAZY#if you are new. to kuroshitsuji. and you havent read the manga. dear god. read the manga#ALSO GRELLE IN THAT ARC IS SO BEAUTIFUL & OTHELLO IS TRANSMASCULINE. OKAY GOODBYE
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what ages do you guys truth for the companions btw (idk which ones have canon ages i forgor <3) sound off in the tags or replies or w/e
#4 ME.... i think like 20 y/o ali and maybe like 25/26 year old zev and leli. im controversial i think morrigan is like 27#and just emotionally stunted. i think wynne is late 60s early 70s and canon genuinely make a math mistake. sten and oghren are prob both#in their 40s#for da2 as of act 1 i put anders somewhere in 29-31 age range. bela at maybe 27/28. fenris around 25/26 and seb around there too.#merrill maybe 24ish and varric and aveline both in their mid-late 30s#for inq josie in her late 20s dorian at about 30 and sera at like 19/20 and cole also around there. bull maybe late 30s#solas early 40s (or so he seems..) cass like 45/46. and i know blackwall is probably on the older side of his 40s but i put him on the#younger side bc he already has an insane age gap with my trev lmao#if i forgot anyone here obviously i don't care about them and you should probably send me hate mail
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genuinely these panels are going to make me ugly cry
#i'm not back for real yet i think i want to stay away longer. i'm just here to put more things in the queue and answer messages#i really enjoyed trimax vol 4 idk something about it was less miserable than 1-3#might have been the first volume that i wasn't grimacing the entire time i read it. or maybe i'm just desensitized now.#unironically this prayer is soooo beautiful to me. give us this day our daily bread. not bread for the week not bread for a year#just enough for today.#lately when i've been praying it just looks like#please for the love of god please please please please please PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPL#things are not looking good for the community house.. lots bureaucracy with the city. and the church that funded us is falling apart#i don't know what i'm going to do if we get shut down it's the one thing in my life that's worth anything#all those kids... where are they going to go. who is going to help them. where is the neighborhood going to get their food.#in two days it will be the anniversary of [REDACTED] and i am so so so scared#just sat in my room today and fruitlessly scrolled thru jobs im not qualified for & tried not to think about thinking about killing myself#i don't WANT to kill myself i don't want to think about it i hate thinking about killing myself i will never ever kill myself or even try#but there is a demon or perhaps a ghost or evil wizard that tells me there's an easy way everything can go away. and it's A STUPID. BITCH.#please do not reply to this post i know you all mean well but i just don't think i can handle it.#talking about it i mean. and hearing people say nice but empty things.#i just wish i had someone to sit next to me.#personal#i don't want to go to church tomorrow :( it all feels so fake and i do not ever feel fed.
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its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF
#not anything serious i was just thinking how like. idk. this is gonna sound rly stupid#but for me personally like. sometimes. How do i phrase this without sounding rly evil#i think obv ppl can spend their money however they want but like. its kind of hard 4 me to grasp sometimes like. there r things that ppl#spend a lot of money on bc it makes them happy like umm. vacations or pets or hobbies or whathaveyou. and obviously thats fine but#i iust feel like its all so. temporary and like. idk. idt im ohrasing this right at all i just likee. the thought of working all year to#afford to take a vacation and then working again to afford another vacation just makes me feel like i want to die. like. idk... i like#vacations we dont need to go on them a lot but ig its just like. everything we do just feels like a waste of time. not in like a Ohh you#should be doing more work Obviously its just like. idk. maybe it is just me. but i feel like im just waiting until i die and can be done#with it i guess. and everything i do is just to fill time until that happens. yk ? which is silly bc of my whole. Thing i cant talk abt#but ppl talk abt like. going out and partying or going on vacation or whatever and i like. I like those things its nice when they happen#but they dont rly make me longterm any happier i guess. everything just feels like another thing im doing. idk. this rly isnt coming out the#way it is in my head. and Again i know this is just depression shit or whatever im just like. its all exhausting. it just makes me feel so#tired. to think abt working and working and working so i can pay to be alive and i can save to do one fun thing every so often to keep me#sane enough to keep working and working and working and i probably wont ever be able to retire itll just be. work. and then ill die. yk.#but i feel like the vacations and stuff dont like. refresh me very much. maybe its just bc ive only been on one 'vacation' as an adult and#it was just like. coming home to see my family. and realizing id have to move back home yk..#+ like. my mom nd my gran taking me out for a weekend when i lived up there#nd those things were nice and all but once its over its like. it doesnt fuel me to keep going it doesnt make me feel any better abt having#to work for the rest of my life#ik im being ridiculous bc im literally unemployed and i cant even get up off my ass to get my stupid fucking ged so i can get a job and be#Useful to my family its just like. idk.... i try so hard to be like Oh nothing mayters and thats why everything matters type thing like. Yes#all things end and the point is to just try to be happy until it does#but i feel like it just doesnt happen for me. i feel like any happiness i feel is so insanely like. it happens and then its gone. and its#back to just. the knowledge that im still fucking stuck here. and i will be until it happens. yk. i play video games tomoass the time until#i go back to sleep then i wake up and i make a spreadsheet to pass the time until i go back to sleep#and everyday just feels like passing the time until i go back to sleep and itll just keep going until it happens. and its nice to have nice#days but whats like. the point. yk. everything just ends#IDK. this is all very whiny im sry. ive just been feeling it a lot lately . i hope this doesnt feel like me being like Ohhh you ppl r so#dumb participating in hobbies and going out and having fun dont you know yr gonna DIE? thats not what im trying to be like#its just like. i feel like it doesnt make me as happy as it does other ppl like. none of it refreshes me or makes me want to keep going
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the wesley academy timeline is so inconsistent and makes no sense AT ALL and i know this is star trek where everything is inconsistent all the time (ESPECIALLY for dear wessie) but it makes me so mad. personally.
#it’s kind of implied that he goes in as a sophomore and is a sophomore in the game/first duty#sidenote i thought it was confirmed he was the only sophomore on nova squad. with nick being like yeah we chose you#even though you were young. and like nick is a senior i always assumed jean was too and that jaxa and josh were juniors#but he has to repeat the year at the end of that. meaning he’d be there for 3 more yesrs#AND that’s late season 5 every season is about a year and in journeys end (late season 7) he’s about to gradute#SO IT DOESNT ADD UPP I KNOW IT DOESNT MATTER. BUT IT MATTERS. to ME!!!#and also final mission he would enter as a sophomore (the academic year had already started) but then he’s STILL one a year later in s5#AND IT DOESNT LINE UP AT ALL IF HE STARTS AS A FRESHMAN. because. it’s implied that his time on the enterprise means he’d skip a year#but he’s still obviously in his first year in the game and . NONE IF IT MAKES SENSEEE#if he started as a sophomore and his junior year was first duty that’s contradictory to him being the youngest on the team#IT DOESNT WORKKKK#because if jaxa was a senior. repressed senior year. she would graduate in season 6 AND IN LOWER DECKS SHES NEWLY GRADUATED ON HER FIRST PO#*post. WHATEVERRR IT DOESNT LINE UP. also you cannot tell me she’s a senior you can’t convince me#the fortitude it takes me to type all this up using freshmen sophomore junior and not 4/C 3/C 2/C. IM. STOPPINF MYSELF
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have you hiked in the Appalachians?
hiiiii <3 the answer is... yeah? i'm sure i HAVE dskhf
i live in georgia, i've certainly BEEN to the appalachians plenty of times. not just here but across probably most of the states they're in. and i've hiked in... a LOT of places (mostly due to geocaching, though also occasionally just for fun at my parents behest)
the only problem is that when i was younger, i never really paid attention to where exactly we were :') there are some i can name for sure; Cloudland Canyon, for instance, though thats not in the appalachians and also idk if stairs count as hiking?? though there are *googles it* 1200 steps one-way so maybe it does at that point idk it's a fond memory even as my whole family has vowed to never return (i will one day, probably). and also Elijah Clark state park. actually i'm pretty sure i've BEEN TO every (or at least almost every) state park in Georgia. and hiked in a lot of them too.
so tl;dr is yes, i am sure i've hiked in the appalachians, though i really don't remember it ;;;;; i should do it again
#im sorry this is so late and also such a non-answer answer dskhskdhg#and ik i've mentioned it before but my memory is really. bad. especially with things like exact locations and stuff that happened as a kid#/teen#so even though i know things DID happen i don't always actually... remember the experience#also don't mind the clouldland canyon rant in the middle there. i didn't know how many stairs there were except A FUCKTON#and googling it certainly. put that into perspective. 100 flights of stairs. that we had to descend (fine) and then ascend (horror story)#from what i can recall other than STAIRS though it was VERY pretty!!!!#but yes im sure i have hiked there but i could NOT give details on the experience.#i do remember parking there for a while with my dad on the drive to canada when i was 17 though#and watching the lightening and counting the seconds between the flash and the thunder to see how far off it was!!#OH i've also been to a lot of the mountains here in georgia in general. i DID go to camp on lookout mountain for 4 years after all#and my brothers both went to camp on rainey mountain so i've been there to drop them off#rip the place with the goats on the roof i can't remember if they were still open last time we drove by it#askers#cozy-fish-crow#shh ac
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every once in a while i get reminded of yttd existing and its just like. damn i know that game.
#i never finished it i got to that bit where you had to like#choose characters to spend time with and like do minigames with or something (i dont remember very clearly this was like 4 years ago)#and it was really overwhelming (i was overthinking it a lot) so i just kinda.. stopped playing#i only found out it existed cuz someone on. okay hang on#ive mentioned tayasui sketches a lot right. drawing app i used to use it had a ‘community tab’ you could post art on#something that was pretty big on there for a while in likeeee 2020 was making. google classrooms. for people to join#i was in a few of them good times made a lot of friends there. anyways#someone on there one day made some post super late at night that was like ‘i need someone else to play your turn to die it traumatized me’#and linked to the site to play it on#so i just was like. fuck it sure i dont have anything better to do#and played it over the next few days#i remmeber thinking it was pretty neat.. i tried playing it again a year or two ago i think#i didnt get very far though cuz i got overwhelmed again.. like i didnt even get anywhere close to as far as i did originally lmao#im really bad at games like it where you have to like. do logic puzzles and decide on character things#i dont know if that makes sense oh well#sometimes ive considered watching a playthrough but idk if thatd be the same really.. idfk#one day ill get to it i think. i gotta see what its deal is yknow..#inquisitivewaltz.txt
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(stares at notes app)
what if i rewrote high school musical and made it gayer
#hear me out ive already made a reprise for “stick to the status quo” but ryan#bc you cant tell me that being gay in high school and hearing everyone sing about how you need to “be normal” and “stick to the status quo”#wouldn't affect you negatively#and make you feel like its unsafe to come out#this is actually an idea that me and @theeviltwinduh had like two years ago that we talked about for a while#and its returned to my brain and i wanna do it#but i also have like 20 other aus that i need to be working on#(looks at beyond the kira investigation which i need to finish ch 4 of)#but you know what i might just add it on as a side project#because why not!#ryan is gay obviously#sharpay is a closeted lesbian (probably with some internalized shit going on)#troy and gabriella are the person metaphor for being bi/multisexual fight me#chad is also bi i fear#and a trans man#i have no explanation for that one but he is just trust me#my friend (who is aroace) said that taylor is giving somewhere on the aroace spectrum#“stop making things gay” too late im making everything more gay
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Apologies if there's no art for a bit. I caught a cold yesterday so not able to do much rip
#still tryin tho#want to finish more of the drawings i did of peeps hms designs but i am not well ugh#hopefully should go away fast since my body is usually p good agaisnt stuff#like i only got sick like twice in the last 4-5 years#which is funny cos the last i got sick was the day storm and a spring came out#so im hoping this means cjs cooking up a real banger lol#not that the last stuff wasn't a banger but you know what I mean#moss post#also if my posts on incorrect quotes. headcanons & the lyric blogs are late sometimes you know why lol
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Can’t wait for my drivers license to arrive so I can be driving legally again for the first time in 1.5 years!
#for legal reasons this is a joke#SO THIS IS WHATS UP#as a youngin#a young adult one might say#I was starting to learn that some systems are bullshit when I’d previously been a pretty big rule-follower#my mom showing me how to navigate the healthcare system a bit/showing me how student loans legit have practices to confuse and fuck us over#also im really bad at getting things in on time (this is an important fact)#so when I see that my drivers license is abt to expire. I’m like ‘Oup gotta get that done!’ then promptly forget abt it#next time I remember it’s 3 months expired.#I check the date and realize that wait! in a year imma be turning 21 and just one yr after that Real ID’s will become mandatory (im p sure)#so I decide to push off renewing my license! I think that the whole process will b annoying asf bc I’ve only dealt with the DMV in-person#and it SUCKED and took forever. I’m thinking that if I renew my drivers license right on/after my 21st birthday I can knock out two birds#with one stone: I can get it as a Real ID and I can get an updated picture that’s flipped sideways so getting age-checked is faster#little do i know: it’s v much illegal to be driving around with an expired license!#I drive around for a year (over a year? I don’t remember when I first realized it was expired) j having fun#then one month b4 my 21st birthday I get into an abroad study thing and have to get my passport. which I realize is also expired. and#realize that to renew my passport I have to have a valid drivers license. At this point I also realize how fucked I could be if I get pulled#over with my expired license. so I check out the process for DL renewal and rejoice! it’s online!#AND THANK FUCK I CHECKED THEN. bc if I had waited LITERALLY two more days I would not have been able to renew online and would’ve had to go#in-person. and there were no in-person appointments until after my 21st. and I learned in this process abt the fines my state applies when u#renew a DL late and ALSO that u have to entirely retake the test/redo all the paperwork shit if it’s expired for too long. I would’ve had to#retake the test n everything if I’d gone past my bday. I was also in another state for college. idk how incoherent these ramblings are but#basically I would’ve been Ultra Fucked. anyways! got that figured out#renewed the DL and had it sent to my home. then da house floods and crime goes up in the neighborhood and my DL ends up either being lost#Or tossed (with other flood-damaged things) or stolen.#I don’t realize this for 4 months bc I am silly. also in college out-of-state. also other reasons.#finally got around to calling DMV and telling them that my DL never arrived… 6 months after I renewed it!#and they were v sweet and are resending me my DL for free. so in the next few weeks I shall finally b driving legally again#!!!! the end#mypost
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