#i know i just need to pick myself up and be more disciplined and work harder. i just need more time so that i can beat myself up more

[monstermp3]

for the first time in my life... i ran away from something that i was scared of, all because i panicked and gave in to my insecurity. i could've done so much better than that!!!! i'm so disappointed in myself!! i guess the only good thing that came out of it was that i now know that the worst thing i could do isn't getting something wrong or admitting that i don't have an answer... it's running away.

[csuitebitches]

Things I Have to do for My Sanity

1. Wake up at the first alarm - no snoozing and no going lying around in bed. Getting up straight away and head to the bathroom. It’s going to suck initially but you’ll get used to it in a few days.

2. Mental self care: 30 minute meditation, brain games mental math, reading, news. Knowledge is sexy and don’t deny yourself sexiness.

3. Daily review in my diary at the beginning and end of my day: what went well, what didn’t, what I need to accomplish to achieve my goals. This has tremendously helped my goals and keeping my motivation more consistent, especially at work. Analysing and correcting incremental changes creates long term success.

4. Cleaning up before bed - clothes, shoes, organising my bag, etc. I set a timer for 5 minutes and try to get as much done as possible.

5. Pick out my clothes the night before and steam iron them for the next day.

6. Face masks twice a week, a hair mask once a week, I scrub the soles of my feet with that foot scrubbing thingy once a week. Manicures every month because my nail beds are too sensitive to do it biweekly, iron supplements so that I’m not a moody bitch. Matching underwear to feel good about myself. Lavender spray on my pillow before sleeping so that I don’t get weird dreams.

7. Reading biographies and autobiographies. My mentor had suggested this to me and it’s amazing how literally I don’t have a single original experience - everything I’ve felt or mistakes I’ve made have already been done by someone else.

I’m going to curate a list of business books that I feel that have helped me the most recently.

8. I write a short essay everyday in the language I’m currently learning. I also end my day by talking about my day for at least 2 minutes in that language and I record it in voice memos to keep a track of my progress. I want to be fluent to a level where I can think in this language.

✨

I don’t generally share a lot about my personal life - none of you know my name or where I’m based and I feel comfortable doing that. But I do want to start giving out more insights to what I’m doing personally in my career - the good, the bad, the ugly.

Being self aware and honest to myself has helped me improve a lot. I know that shame is my Achilles heel, so now I’m reading books to combat that. I’ve caved in and decided to try therapy for a bit to see if what I’m doing is useful or not. My first session is tomorrow. Staying disciplined was my initial hurdle but the systems I’ve set (waking up early + habit stacking) have helped me slowly overcome that.

Work side, I’ve started establishing myself publicly more. I don’t want to reveal too much about what I do exactly but the good news is that our biggest competitor has noticed my progress (a former employee of that company came to us for an interview and directly asked our top management about me). It’s been 4 months that I’ve been working here but I know that next year I really have to swing the bat and hit a home run. I’ve decided to work on the field more and less in the office to really understand people’s needs and create unique solutions.

The daily/weekly/quarterly diary is definitely credited to my recent wins. That’s the biggest change I’ve made in my routine and i can already see that it’s working well. I’m going to continue refining and implementing that method.

Recent work methods I’ve decided to start working on (I’m not required to do these but I do it for my growth):

1. I’ve started studying popular companies’ business and revenue models in detail. Everything is adoptable and adaptable, you just have to figure out how to tweak something for your company’s clients and needs. Now I’ve decided that I want to keep a track of our competitors, their business models, their owners names, pricing strategy, their target audience etc etc on an excel sheet so that I’m aware with what’s happening in the market. 

2. I’ve started making client profiles. Every time I meet a client, I note down their name, the company name, what they were like, anything specific they seemed to like or want, how much they had paid us for a service, what their paying capacity could be, etc. 

[p1utofairy]

pick a card.

★ what makes you different from your person’s ex?

NOTE: hiii <3 i know it’s been a while since i’ve done pacs, but i just needed some time for myself and to balance my energy. i’ve missed you all so much and i understand that some of you really want personal readings for me (and soon i want to provide that for you) but in the meantime doing these pick-a-card readings is serving as practice for me – they help me get more comfortable with my intuition and enhance my tarot reading abilities/knowledge. i want to give y'all the most accurate and insightful guidance/advice 1 on 1 when i feel more prepared and have the time to do it. i hope you all can understand 🤗 your patience and support seriously means a lot to me. for now, i’ll catch up on some of the pac requests that have been sent to me. thanks for requesting this anon. 💌 enjoy!

PILE 1.

what makes you different from your partner’s ex is the fact that you are extremely dedicated to your craft and your own personal goals. right now you might be really yearning for a relationship or just craving some type of romantic spark in your life, but nonetheless you’ve been pushing through and staying focused on building yourself up and putting yourself on the right path. you have set standards, expectations and boundaries that you will not fold on - and your person will LOVE this about you. you’re no pushover. if something isn’t sitting right with you or someone isn’t willing to do/give you what you deserve, you know how to respectfully move on and find someone else that will; no matter how long it takes. you’d rather be single than to have someone by your side that you know isn’t truly fulfilling you and your needs. genie in a bottle by christina aguilera is coming to mind – “if you wanna be with me, baby there’s a price to pay! i’m a genie in a bottle, you gotta rub me the right way.” yeah trust me when i say that your person will go extra lengths to impress you and show you how serious they are about this relationship. i think that their previous relationship lacked the spark that you two share.

it also lacked the security, discipline and stability that you bring to the table; they’re willing to put the effort into this relationship. if i’m being quite honest their previous relationship seems like a non-factor, because in their eyes it could never hold a candlelight to what you two share. that one part in after hours by the weeknd just came to me, “cause this house is not a home…without my baby, where are you now when i need you most?” LOL they’re so devoted to you pile 1. the energy is kind of reminding me of allie and noah from ‘the notebook,’ one of the most iconic romance films of all time. don’t get me wrong, allie and noah’s love was far from perfect; it was messy, painful, and at times very selfish. however, it was THEIR love. it was full of passion and intensity and that’s the type of energy i pick up between you two. they would build a house for you with their own bare hands, like noah if you truly wanted them to. you bring out a side of them that their previous partner could never unlock.

you make them work for it and whew does it get them going lol they love the chase. if you teasingly tell them “no.” just to get a reaction out of them, they’ll be like “what can i do to change your mind?” and do the most seductive shit possible to get you all riled up and ready to pounce on them. you balance each other out very well and they’re different from the other types of people that have tried to pursue you before - it's gonna be refreshing. you might be a little hesitant to jump into this relationship because of your own doubts and anxiety around relationships (i’m hearing trust issues? daddy issues?) and this might cause you to keep this person at arms length even though you know you want to get closer to them. they’ll be respectful of you and your space, but just know that they won’t take advantage of your situation; if anything they want to help you work through it and be a supportive partner.

PILE 2.

the energy feels like something out of a whimsical fairytale, pile 2. you might’ve been split between choosing this pile and pile 1 (check that pile as well if you felt drawn to it) but wow your person feels like you came into their life at the perfect time. i’m not sure if either of you expected to come across each other in such a way that left you both feeling lovestruck! what makes you different from their previous partner is how much of a REAL lover you are. there’s a huge amount of optimism and a lust for life that you bring to this connection, which doesn’t quite compare to what they were used to. your love is purposeful and genuine – i’m picking up that some of you might have virgo/6H placements. just like magic by ariana grande just started playing, “just like magic, i’m attractive. i get everything i want cause i attract it.” you definitely manifested this relationship, pile 2. UGH YOUR MIND. it may have taken longer than you expected to come to fruition, but wow was it worth the wait.

they have this playfulness to them that you’ll really adore, it’s like they’re always trying to make you laugh and smile. their last relationship seemed like a bit of a burden on them. it caused them to turn inward and focus on themselves, however, their inner-child really thrives whenever they’re in your presence lol it’s so cute. it’s the little things like tickling your sides, kissing your neck/cheek and telling you silly jokes just to make you feel better and help ease any doubts and anxiety you’re feeling. you ground them in a lot of ways. you might be more mature than them, or they could be younger than you, but regardless, your energy feels more grounded and responsible. they might have felt powerless and restricted in their last relationship, feeling like they couldn’t really express themselves or be vulnerable for fear of judgment.

their ex might’ve involved their friends in a lot of their relationship drama which caused too much outside opinions to interfere with their relationship. that's one of the things that they appreciate about you: you don’t need outside opinions or validation to know what you want or how to manage this relationship. if there’s ever an issue, you will take the initiative to have a conversation with them and work it out; communication will be key in this relationship. their previous relationship lacked a safe space for them to express their emotions, but you are willing to communicate and ensure both of your feelings are taken into account within this connection. also, this person might have some sort of fame/social-standing/platform. it sort of feels like people keep tabs on who they’re currently dating/talking to. i will say that your person definitely values privacy and will try to keep as many people out of the mix as possible. this may not resonate for all, but don’t tell your friends everything about this relationship because some of them might be secretly thirsting over your person. they’ll be smiling in your face but behind the scenes wondering what it would be like to be with them, oof. some things are best kept private. remember that, okay!

PILE 3.

i feel a bit of a push and pull in this connection, pile 3. there’s friction here but it’s fiery and hot. your stubbornness is what makes you different from their previous partner lol they’re used to people falling for their charm and submitting to them – but not you. there seems to be a little bit of a romeo and juliet vibe here, like you two come from different backgrounds and technically y’all shouldn’t work but y’all just do. something clicks in you both whenever you’re around each other, and you spark a deep curiosity within each other. their last relationship was a “pain in the ass” i’m hearing lol wow. no matter what they did it was never good enough for their ex, they always found something to nitpick. i’m picking up that they argued a lot about finances in their previous relationship, your person may not have been in the financial position that they had hoped to be in but nonetheless they were working very hard towards their goals. this relationship with you is like a total reset.

ok so why did climax by usher just come on, “we’re together, now we’re undone. won’t commit, so we choose to run away. do we separate?” hm. for some of you, this might actually be an ex, but if that doesn’t resonate, i think there’s some sort of hesitation to commit here. emotionally and spiritually, you two just get each other, but when it comes to physically getting together and being an actual couple, you or this person finds a reason to cop out. there’s some sort of blockage from the past that’s keeping you from just saying, 'fuck it! let’s do it.' you've got to work through this, pile 3 (at your own pace, of course), because this person truly loves you. at times, you might feel a bit confused and unsure about their true intentions, but deep down, you know that this could work and they’re not as bad as you thought they were. some of this feels like it all could be cleared up with some good ol’ ✨communication✨ because you both have a lot in common, but you avoid talking to them about certain things.

someone in this pile could’ve recently just watched or is thinking of watching ‘anyone but you’ with sydney sweeney and glen powell lol cause the energy kinda feels reminiscent to their dynamic in that movie. you two could connect through friends and/or at a party. i can see either you or them overthinking this connection and creating unnecessary drama when all you both needed was a heart-to-heart conversation. drunk texting by chris brown ft. jhené aiko just came to mind, “got me feelin some type of way - told you i hate you, i don’t mean it. and the only thing that i got, is the pain that you been feeding.” ugh this person really wants to make you theirs pile 3 but the ball is in your court; they genuinely are trying to win you over.

PILE 4.

your person’s previous relationship did not end on the greatest of terms, oof. they’re still in the process of working through it, but they’ll never forget whatever it is that their ex did to make them call it quits. their ex might’ve cheated on them? idk they feel very betrayed and this energy of “ugh i can’t believe they did that” is heavy on them. their relationship with their ex was veryyy toxic and at the time of the breakup they might not have seen it this way, but it was definitely a blessing in disguise. love by keyshia cole just came to mind…damn. “i used to think that i wasn’t fine enough, and i used to think that i wasn’t wild enough.” their ex really had them second-guessing themselves. out of all the other piles, this one doesn’t feel quite healed from their past relationship. it’s not that they’re so much hung up on the person, it’s the situation that left a bad taste in their mouth. i keep hearing “how could you?” ugh poor baby. anyways, what makes you different from their previous partner is how genuine and attentive you are.

you may have just gotten out of a toxic situation yourself, and i see this relationship coming in at a time where you feel free from any negativity, burdens or worries someone (either romantically or platonically) was trying to place on you. this relationship is a fresh start for you and your partner. your person is very emotionally mature and super chill - it’s very hard to get them angry or riled up to the point that they’re screaming & yelling. that’s just not them, i’m hearing. some people might complain that they’re too nonchalant or dismissive, but that’s far from the case. your person is just aware that not everything deserves a reaction. you two will probably start off as friends first and then it’ll turn into a romantic relationship.

it’s interesting because your partner literally submerges themselves deep into their emotions, and you’re more of a ‘mind over matter’ type of person. you deal with things more logically and i think that’s one of the many things that they’ll admire about you; how you let things roll off your back and keep it moving. you give yourself time to process, understand and deal with your feelings, but then once you do, you’re right back to the grind. the dynamic between you and this person is reminding me of the movie ‘friends with benefits’ with mila kunis and justin timberlake. you both will click really fast! also, i’m picking up that you two might share a mutual friend and that might be how you two meet.

you give them hope and reassurance that love, GENUINE love, still exists. they might be a bit hard on themselves in the beginning of the relationship, but you will reassure them that they are more than enough and deserving of the love that you two share. loveeeeeeee song by rihanna ft. future just started playing, “and i hope i’m not sounding too desperate, i need love and affection.” whew! they’re gonna love them some you, pile 4. in their heart and in their eyes, nothing or no one will ever compare to you and the way that you love.

[4theitgirls]

how to build a routine 🎀

#1 tip: be realistic! it isn’t realistic to go from not working out, not studying, and not taking care of yourself properly to working out for an hour a day and studying for 6 hours at a time overnight. think: what will you actually be able to do? don’t overdo it, failing an impossible routine immediately will just make you feel bad and you will be less likely to keep trying.

#2: similar to the first, don’t be afraid to start slow. don’t try to go from never working out to working out for an hour every day. it’s perfectly fine to start with 10 minutes a day, then 15, then 20, and so forth. same with things like studying. don’t expect yourself to be able to just jump into studying for hours without a break. start with a little at a time.

#3: goal setting. set specific goals day by day. for example, your goals today could be working out for half an hour, reading one chapter of a book, and finishing a class assignment. of course you may do more than this, but make a list of what you MUST get done today, and start with those things. also, set more than just physical goals. set mental ones as well. for example, you could say your goal for today is to incorporate something into your day that makes you feel fulfilled, whatever that means for you!

#4: as you’re starting out, try to incorporate small things into your routine that will boost your mood and keep you motivated for the rest of the day. for example, take time out of your day to do some yoga, bake, sit outside, pet your animals, whatever you may need to keep you going and finish what you need to get done!

#5: make a list of the things you want to get out of this routine. these things don’t need to have anything to do with the physical acts you want to do, like exercising or finishing a task. you could say things like “i want to learn to nourish my body more” or “i want to learn more about myself and my interests.” what do you want this new routine to do for you? what do you want to feel?

#6: don’t expect to feel motivated all the time. chances are, you will not. but know that discipline is much more valuable than motivation alone. once you make your new routine a habit, you will no longer need to feel “motivated” to get things done, because it will be second nature to you. consistency is key!

#7: realize that it’s okay to not always do as well as you would have liked to. there will be days where you’re not as productive or active as you had wanted to be or had planned to be that day. that is okay. understand that days like these will not ruin your progress, and definitely don’t give up on yourself or your routine because of them. pick yourself back up and come back better and stronger tomorrow.

[beegalactica]

How to set S.M.A.R.T goals

Well, January's almost over... Have you abandoned your New Year's resolutions yet? Did you give up trying to work out for an hour every day yet? It's never too late to start fresh and a new hour, day, week, or month could be the chance to hit that restart you need.

It's great to be ambitious, but a hint of realism can make our goals more achievable.

S - Specific

What exactly do you want to accomplish? Why do you want to accomplish this? Get into the smallest details about what it is you actually want. Don't just say you want to 'glow up', what does this actually mean for you?

M - Measurable

How are you going to accomplish it? Break this big goal into little steps. If you want to 'get clear skin', how will you do this? Will you make sure you drink your water every day? Will you develop a skincare routine that you stick to?

A - Achievable

Is this something you can actually get done? Is this something possible for you? There is no limit in life, but if you make a goal that you don't believe you can actually achieve, you're setting yourself up to fail because your own belief is not there. Pick a goal and commit to it. Commit to the idea of yourself being able to succeed in whatever it is.

R - Relevant

Is this goal in line with your greater ambitions? Is this something that will help you become the best version of yourself? How will achieving this thing benefit you? Do you believe it is the best thing for you? If so, why?

T - Timely

How long do you think this will take you? How long do you want this to take you? Do you have the time to dedicate to accomplishing this goal? If not, are you prepared to make time to spend working towards your goal?

How I set S.M.A.R.T goals

Let's use the example of my Tumblr. At the start of the year, I decided that I wanted to start a blog. I didn't just write 'start a Tumblr blog' in my 2024 planner and leave it there, I wanted to 'start a Tumblr blog AND grow it consistently', but even this wasn't all. I didn't set a goal to reach x number of followers by the end of the year, but my main goal was to post consistently every week. I set myself the goal of posting at least once a week, instead of trying to post 5x a week because realistically, I know how busy things can get. I knew that starting this blog would help me improve my own discipline, and also allow me to help others, thus making me a better, more committed person. I was prepared to dedicate an hour of my time every week to sit down and just write. I've done this so far in January and hope to continue this for the rest of the year.

Instead of just setting goals in your head, try to put exactly what you want to accomplish into words somewhere for you to look back for motivation, but also to have as a plan of action to get it done.

[charliemwrites]

Three to Flee

Commission from the very sweet @ignoreprotocol

Someone leaves the door open and the pets get out.

Content Warning: Established kidnapping situation, unhealthy relationships, collaring

Author's Note: This does not mean Keeper/Kept is back. As far as I'm concerned, that story is finished, but this was a special case.

Shockingly, it’s not Feral that brings it up first.

The girls are having a little picnic at the edge of Johnny and Shy Thing’s yard, shaded by the tall trees. The men are chatting on the porch, sharing cigars and whiskey, far from earshot. Good behavior has earned them this bit of privacy, and so far, they’ve just used it to exchange keeper notes and offer bedroom advice.

“I can’t believe you don’t even have a fence,” Good Girl muses, glancing at the forest beyond. Her own yard is well fortified. It’s not just the sturdy, unclimbable fence, but also the monitors and floodlights connected to it.

Shy Thing sheepishly mentions a failed escape attempt several months earlier, a mad dash through the woods that ended with her dirty and disciplined. That prompts Good Girl to confess her own ill-fated getaway, a midnight attempt at sneaking out that resulted in a bruised ass.

Feral listens with her head cocked, nibbling at her apple slices. When their eyes turn to her, she shrugs.

“I haven’t tried to leave in a while,” she admits, “but I don’t think it would go well.”

Good Girl frowns. “How do you know if you haven’t tried?”

Feral snorts. “You’ve met Simon, haven’t you?”

All eyes turn to the boys on the porch. And there’s Simon, watching. Feral makes a rude gesture his way and they can see his shoulders shaking with a chuckle.

“Besides… it’s not so bad,” she muses. “Most of the time.”

Good Girl sits back, expression twisting. “I don’t want it to be ‘not so bad,’ I want it to be good. And I want it that way all the time.”

Shy Thing shifts. “What’s so wrong with John…?”

Good Girl huffs and begins picking at threads in the blanket. “He’s… fine. I mean, he would be if I could just leave. Don’t you miss being free?”

Feral hums.

“I… I miss going to the store when I wanted… or just… walking around town,” Shy Thing admits slowly. “I miss coffee shops and parks.”

Good Girl groans in agreement. “I miss the internet. It’s like being a fucking teenager again, having all my activity monitored.”

With a little more momentum now, Shy Things continues, “I haven’t been alone in months. Just… by myself. Doing whatever I want.”

“And not having rules,” Good Girl adds, sipping at the mojito John put in a little travel cup for her. “Fucking… sick of having a bedtime and chores and a fucking collar. Aren’t you sick of it?”

It’s directed at both of them, but Shy Thing nods, hands fidgeting.

“It gets to be a lot sometimes,” she mumbles, “I think I warmed up to Johnny out of pure exhaustion.”

Good Girl huffs again, worked into a proper fuss now. “And they’re so smug about it. Like we’re just these good, trained pets.”

Feral pipes up, “We could leave together.”

Both girls swivel to her with varying degrees of shock, hope, and disbelief.

“You said you didn’t think you could get past Simon,” Good Girl says.

Feral snorts and stretches out on her stomach in a mottled patch of sunlight creeping through the leaves.

“Yeah, I couldn’t on my own,” she explains, “but between the three of us…”

It’s uncomfortably simple when it happens. They just need to wait until the next big mission.

All three of them beg (or in Feral’s case, demand) to spend that time together while the keepers are away. It’s not unusual for the creatures to meet up when one or more of the men are gone. With all three off on a mission this time, they sniffle about being lonely and wanting company. That their houses feel too big and empty, that cooking for one is depressing.

Johnny caves instantly; John agrees on the stipulation that Good Girl is on her best behavior before he leaves. Simon, of course, is a foregone conclusion.

They go to Simon’s house. It’s the safest of the three homes and has the most space. Not to mention the girls will have some sort of access to the outside with the enclosed sunporch.

On the day of the mission, Good Girl and Shy Thing show up with fully packed bags, ready for their extended “sleepover” with Feral. The pets see their boys off, behave as normal for the cameras until Shy Thing gets the “heading out” message from Johnny. That’s the greenlight.

Feral has her own bag of things that she packs quickly and expertly. They fill a fourth bag with nonperishable provisions, just in case. Each of them has cash that they filched last minute from their keepers’ wallets – knowing they wouldn’t check them just before a classified mission.

The girls know it’ll be a day or two before anyone checks on them. Even Kyle is away with the team this time.

And then it all comes down to walking out the door.

The front door is, of course, locked. All the windows have alarms on them, and so does the garage door. But the sunporch…

“He didn’t lock the door,” Feral realizes as it swings open. And the alarm only engages when it’s locked.

All three of them take a single step out into the open air. And stop. Stare at each other a little moon-eyed.

They just left.

They stride at a quick clip around the side of the house and down the road. It’ll be an hour-long walk into town, but they have thick coats and each other for company. They chatter as they follow the pavement, just within the tree line out of caution. Pretend its giddy celebration at their escape and not a distraction from the creeping mix of dread and uncertainty beginning to simmer within each of them.

When they reach town, they blend into the crowds, weaving through the streets until they find a low-end hotel. It won’t be anything fancy, but at least it seems clean enough. Good Girl does all the talking with the receptionist (also a lady, thank god) since Feral and Shy Thing are jittery from so many people. They get a one-bed room with easy access to the fire exit.

 It’s only after they’re inside that reality sinks its claws in.

They’re free. For the first time in months, they’re outside with no one standing behind their shoulders or holding their arms. No one to appease, nothing to behave for.

And Shy Thing throws up in the toilet.

“This is scary,” she wheezes, eyes watering. “I’m scared. I want—”

Though she stops, the other two know what the end of that sentence was. Good Girl rubs her back.

“Don’t worry, they’re not going to find us,” she soothes like she doesn’t know why Shy Thing is really scared.

Neither Shy Thing nor Feral reply. The answer hangs in the air, unspoken. We want them to.

Feral, feeling restless, goes back into the main room and begins rummaging through her bag.

“What are you doing?” Good Girl asks, giving Shy Thing privacy to clean up.

“Looking for something to cut that off with.” Feral nods to Good Girl’s collar. “It’s probably chipped or something. We should have taken it off at home.”

She stops as the blood drains from her fellow creature’s face. They stare at each other across the tiny motel room, the weight of their successful plan pressing heavier and heavier with each passing second.

“I…” Good Girl rasps, “I…”

“You don’t want to.”

Her eyes well with tears. “No.”

Feral drops her bag and crumples to the ground, tugging her knees up to her chest.

“Why don’t I want to?” Good Girl whispers, curling her arms around herself. “This… this was my idea. I complain all the time. Why do I miss him already?”

Shy Thing appears in the doorway, sniffling. “I-I don’t know if I can do this. I can’t imagine life without Johnny. I… I don’t know if I want to have a life without Johnny.”

And Feral, still on the floor and trembling all over, just looks at them with huge tears running down her face.

Needless to say, when three rather miffed keepers in full combat gear throw the door open at 3am, they are not expecting armfuls of distraught creatures sobbing into their chests.

[alienpossession]

My stepson is a rather troublesome kid, especially after his mother's passing. He soon dropped out of college, losing the sense of direction he had and just straight out spiralled into a mess. Not to mention that his coping mechanism involved him to hung out with the wrong crowd and start smoking too despite his mother in the past clearly forbid him since he was a prospective star athlete. He also started to grow agitated to the world and overall just disrespect authorities, which included me as the last person that is bold enough to reprimand him while on his way to do his antics

After one of our early morning argument as he arrived back home from clearly a long night he did doing God knows what, he just stormed into his room after giving me a middle finger and cursed under his breath. I decided that enough is enough and I did what I knew best to handle reckless and wild human like that

You see....I was not from this planet. I arrived around 20 years ago into this farmland where I stumbled with this young studly farmer that just about to start his days. I slid into him and never left his body as I decided that I would be safe and undetected as long as I did not slid out of him while the search for me was still active. I was paranoid that if I ever left this body, suddenly the detection system spotted me so I resisted the temptation to leave and remained hidden inside while controlling this human that I cultivated into the best version it could be. But this little punk really pushed me to my limit. I'm just so desperate trying to prove my humanity and ability to disciplined the smaller and younger human I supposedly have authority over, I pushed myself out and slid into the sleeping body of my stepson. Once I slid in, I went straight to his brain and started to work it while he's sleeping soundly with zero awareness that a far more intelligent being is currently rewiring his organ responsible for free thinking into one filled with obedience and submissiveness. I was not necessarily the expert on brain's anatomy but I know which part I should and should not touch. Once I felt like my job has been precisely executed, I slid out of his brain and entered back to my original vessel.

Now, imagine my surprise that not only I made that punk into a more docile and submissive version of himself, I somehow made him gay too as I checked on him after the rework I did to his brain. And I guess I graced the part where he can pick up aroma even more strongly this time and that caused him to be a musk-whore for everything's sweaty and pungent. His obsession to his own pits clearly were a sight to behold as it was a far cry from his womanizer self I have to witness for the past few years he brought home girls to his bedroom.

Aside from his own self, he also loved me. Not the usual familial love, this boy is clearly fucked in the head as he viewed me as some sort of authority to please. It's like him calling me daddy is laced with sexual innuendo rather than the usual way a kid called up his parents. So, like the good father I am and to avoid getting him jumped on me while I sleep as I didn't satisfy his needs, I decided to change our family time where I asked him to have dinner with me to him sniffing my feet and servicing my needs. It's not as cool (and normal human looking) as having him seated next to me watching the TV together or having warm dinners, but that's the way we live nowadays and not like he's complaining anyway.

I guess I really need to do better with all this brain rewiring

[spankedquail]

A Good Girl's New Year

Eeek. Daddy’s been a little under the weather lately, and the holidays have been full of cozy vibes, lazy mornings, and indulgent nights. But as he reminded me tonight—our last night of lazing around—those days are over.

"You’re going to be pushed in January."

It wasn’t a suggestion. It wasn’t a threat. It was a promise.

A promise of structure, discipline, and accountability. A promise that I’ll be held to higher standards—stripped of my excuses, pushed past my comfort zone, and made to rise.

Goals for me in 2025

Health I’ll be wearing my fitness tracker pretty much 24/7, other than during showers. It’s more than a tool to track progress; it’s a symbol of ownership, a reminder that my body is his to guide and shape. The tracker syncs to my phone, but my husband has complete access to my phone, of course. Each night, he’ll review the day’s data—steps, workouts, vitals, sleep, calories burned. When the numbers don’t meet expectations, a reckoning will swiftly follow with his belt.

Losing 10 pounds and then maintaining a goal weight range is non-negotiable. Calories will be tracked diligently. Slipping up isn’t an option—Daddy’s discipline ensures I stay on course.

Daddy will work with both me and my fitness trainer to ensure I’m meeting exercise goals. Running farther, building endurance, and achieving milestones that challenge me physically.

Building Good Habits Every morning, my weight will be tracked before showering, between 8:00 and 8:15. Bedtime routines will be consistent, ensuring I get enough rest to perform my best. Deviations from this structure will of course be corrected, swiftly and thoroughly. There's nothing worse than getting paddled first thing in the morning, so I'll need to push myself to not indulge in sleeping in.

He wants to increase my corner time and transform it into more of a daily ritual, a space for reflection and accountability. The corner time for this kind of use case won't be long -- just ten minutes before bed to ground myself in our dynamic, for example. Maybe ten minutes before we leave the house for important events to center myself. The corner time he thinks will be most helpful for our marriage is ten minutes after work (especially on the days I work from home) to transition into the right mindset after the work day. My husband insists on this because he knows how much it helps me reset and realign.

Financial Accountability This year, my husband will take full control of my discretionary spending. For regular home items, he’ll review my purchases to ensure I’m sticking to the essentials. For personal items, I’ll be limited to a debit card (the Good Girl Card) that he tops up according to his whm. Emergency funds are strictly for emergencies—no exceptions. Shopping habits will be curbed, and purchases monitored. If I slip, I know the consequences will involve a long and hard correction. I expect this to be my biggest challenge this year.

Behavior Training This is constant. I’m expected to be accepting of his authority, never rebellious or disobedient. This comes somewhat naturally, but having small reminders of my place in our marriage are important as life can get in the way.

Routine corner time and regular paddlings or strappings ensure I stay aligned with his expectations. We'll continue our Sunday maintenance discipline to reinforce our dynamic and curb any signs of budding bad behavior.

When I’ve faltered, the punishment isn’t just corrective—it’s humbling. But even in those moments, I feel safe, knowing that every correction comes from a place of care and investment in my growth.

Intellectual Growth Two books a month—Daddy picks one, something that will intrigue and challenge me, and I pick the other. Reading isn’t just for pleasure; it’s for discipline, expansion, and focus. He ensures I don’t take the easy way out, pushing me to engage with ideas that make me uncomfortable or stretch my understanding.

Permission for Vices Alcohol and marijuana require permission, with a strict cap of no more than two alcoholic drinks per night if we’re out, and only with his approval. The control isn’t restrictive; it’s grounding. Knowing he has the final say helps me stay intentional about my choices, rather than indulging mindlessly.

Fun and Travel While my husband holds the reins on my finances, he definitely encourages me to invest in experiences and memories. Fun travel plans with friends are going to be a big part of my 2025. As long as savings / investment goals (that he dictates and manages, of course) are hit, he's happy to discuss a plan and a budget and help me make it happen. I often travel with him, but for a few trips a year it's just with a friend or a group of friends. He trusts me to behave myself, and to connect with him regularly with updates.

Maintaining Standards My household chores remain the same, with no reduction or addition in expectations. Each task is to be done diligently and in a timely manner. He doesn't like to remind me of my responsibilities. I know the consequences if I let things slide.

This year is about growth, discipline, and deepening our dynamic. Daddy’s control isn’t just about rules—it’s about shaping me into the best version of myself. His strictness isn’t just punishment; it’s care. His authority isn’t just dominance; it’s love.

Every correction, every expectation, every act of guidance reminds me of this: I’m his.

(We don't really do things like set quotas for me providing him with sexual pleasure or anything like that. My body is his to mold, train, and use at his whim, so sex isn't really something that's really negotiated or denied him pretty much ever. My husband is a sensible man, and his judgement is final on this like it is on everything else.)

Hope you all have a happy and fulfilling new year!

[bloomzone]

I just read your post about discipline and woah -all the answers/solutions I’ve been hiding from myself, to sum it up. But, I’ve really been struggling lately because this year I started off with a lot of missing work because if procrastination and my teachers are still letting me turn it in thank goodness but now I’m always behind because I’m still catching up to what I haven’t done. I’ve also been really lazy with my routines. I guess since it’s already kinda messed up from staying up late doing the missing work I just don’t try. I guess my question is- how to be disciplined when your already behind (even in track I realized I don’t eat enough protein so I can barely do bench presses with just the bar now 😭). Thanks 💕

Hey pookie ! let’s take a deep breath together because it sounds like you’ve been carrying a looooot lately. Missing assignments, late nights, routines slipping—it’s tough.... And I get it, when you’re already behind, it can feel like you’re stuck in quicksand, trying to move but sinking further. First off, I want you to know this: you’re not alone, and you’re not a failure. You’re just in a messy chapter, and messy chapters are where the best stories start.

✒️.. you can turn this around. It’s not going to be perfect, and it won’t happen overnight, but small steps lead to big wins. You’re still here, you’re still trying, and that says so much about your strength. Let’s figure out how to get you back on track without piling more pressure on your shoulders.

Step 1: Forgive Yourself

You’ve made mistakes—we all do. Procrastination got the better of you, and now you’re playing catch-up. That’s okay. Take a moment to forgive yourself because guilt only drains your energy. Say this to yourself: “I messed up, but I’m learning.” That’s growth pookie

Step 2: Prioritize with Purpose

You’re behind, so let’s simplify. Write down everything you need to catch up on, then circle the top three most urgent things. Start with those. The goal isn’t to finish everything in one night—it’s to make progress one step at a time. Progress, no matter how small, is still progress.

Step 3: Set Tiny Wins

Instead of overhauling your entire routine, focus on small, achievable habits. Maybe it’s eating a little more protein at your next meal ?? finishing just one assignment today?? or going to bed 15 minutes earlier. Small wins build momentum, and momentum makes everything feel a little easier.

Step 4: Redefine Discipline

Discipline doesn’t mean being perfect. It means showing up even when things are messy. It’s writing that essay even if you feel unmotivated. It’s eating a snack with protein because your body needs fuel, even if you’re not “in the mood.” Discipline is just you showing up for yourself, one imperfect step at a time.

A Simple Reset Routine

you need to rebuild your days without overwhelming yourself that's the key!

Morning (exemple)

1. Drink a glass of water first thing.

2. Spend 5 minutes writing a short to-do list—no more than three things to focus on today.

3. Move your body for 10 minutes (a walk, light stretches, or just dancing to your favorite song).

4. Breakfast Breakfast Breakfast is IMPORTANT just if u can't eat eat an apple u need energy

Afternoon/Study Time (exemple)

1. Pick one assignment to focus on. Set a timer for 25 minutes and just start. When the timer goes off, take a 5-minute break. Then repeat if needed.

2. Snack on something with protein—nuts, yogurt, or even a boiled egg. Your body needs fuel to keep up with your mind.

Evening (exemple)

1. Spend 10 minutes tidying your space—it’s amazing how a clean desk can clear your mind.

2. Prep for tomorrow: lay out your clothes, pack your bag, and write down one thing you’re grateful for today.

3. Unplug 30 minutes before bed. Read, journal, or listen to music to help you wind down.

(u need to build ur own routine this is just an exemple to give u a push pooks )

Step 5: Be Kind to Yourself

This is a season of growth, not punishment. So when you feel like beating yourself up for being behind, stop. Instead, ask yourself, “What’s one kind thing I can do for myself right now that will help me move forward?” Maybe it’s closing TikTok and starting that assignment. Maybe it’s drinking some water and taking a quick walk to reset. Kindness doesn’t mean letting yourself off the hook—it means giving yourself the tools to succeed.

Step 6: Celebrate Every Effort

Turn every step into a victory. You stayed up late to finish an assignment? You’re working hard. You ate a little extra protein today? You’re fueling your body. You’re trying, and that’s worth celebrating. No effort is too small to count.

Remember your why .. why You’re Doing This ?

You’ve got dreams��big ones. That college, that job, that GPA, that version of you who feels strong and proud. They’re still within reach, but they need you to keep showing up. You don’t have to be perfect to get there—you just have to keep going, even when it’s hard.

I know this season feels heavy, but you’re stronger than you think. The fact that you’re still trying, still showing up, means you haven’t given up. And that’s everything. Be gentle with yourself but stay consistent. You’ve got this. One step at a time, you’re climbing your way back up I'M PROUD OF YOU !

@bloomzone 📇

[texasdreamer01]

Atlantis Expedition: Science Division Departments

"Many of the scientists on Atlantis are organised into departments, each with their own department head. Dr. Rodney McKay was head of the Science and Research Division which most likely meant he was in charge of all of the science departments. Dr. Radek Zelenka was also the head of his own department. The various science departments on Atlantis are:

> Physics

 » Astrophysics

> Biology

 » Microbiology

 » Astrobiology

> Oceanography

> Botany

> Medicine

> Anthropology

(SGA: "Remnants", "Grace Under Pressure", "Suspicion")"

From <https://stargate.fandom.com/wiki/Atlantis_expedition#Departments>

---

As I'm working my way through worldbuilding headcanons on the expedition, I figured I ought to start with the science division first. Above is my starting point: the canonical information at hand, to flesh out and give it some real-world reliability.

When I looked at it again, I realized it was, to put it politely, ill-thought-out crap that was only looked upon when the writers needed some random scientist around for episode material.

So, what considerations would an expedition like this actually need to take into account when hiring people?

At the very bare bones of it is "how many people can I fit through a wormhole in twenty or twenty-five minutes, plus supplies?". I went back and forth, prevaricated for a bit, and settled on 200 people if you really want to hoof it.

(Why 20-25 minutes? It's SGC's first stable-ish wormhole to another galaxy that's powered by a ZPM. They don't even know how much of a success that would be, or if they're just shoving people into a glorified shredder. Gotta pick and choose who you're maybe putting through the billion-dollar shredder. Y'know. Just in case.)

My initial rough estimations were about an even split between scientific and military personnel, which I kept on hand as napkin math to sanity check myself. This would be approximately 150 scientists.

What departments would there be, and how would it be divided? Who makes the priorities, and why?

The canon data is a mess, and as I worked through things, canon kept getting folded and refolded into different configurations because there's two competing priorities: the IOA/SGC, and Rodney's approach to pragmatism.

What was everyone expecting to see on the other side of that wormhole? Definitely not a city ship sunk into the ground of an ocean, and definitely not isolated from others (the Athosians were an unexpected godsend that kicked off the reason to have a plot in the first place). Whatever the IOA or SGC had in mind will quickly get thrown out the window, but needs must, and the departments were likely arranged long before the shipping manifest was decided.

I poked around the uniforms, because everyone is colour-coded, and there's five sections:

> Red (civilian, leader) - Worn by Dr. Elizabeth Weir, Teyla Emmagan, Colonel Samantha Carter and Richard Woolsey.

> Blue/dark blue or purple (scientist) - Worn by Dr. Meredith Rodney McKay and Dr. Radek Zelenka.

> Yellow (medical) - Worn by Dr. Carson Beckett and Dr. Jennifer Keller.

> Black (military) - Worn by Lt. Colonel John Sheppard and Major Evan Lorne.

> Green (technician) - Worn by Chuck and Amelia Banks.

This information is listed in both the "List of Atlantis personnel" and "Atlantis expedition uniform" pages on SGCommand.

Thus far that gets me two and a half departments in my hand: Scientist, Medical, and Technician (that's the half).

What would the SGC and IOA want the expedition to prioritize? Technology, and lots of it. This means that, probably, there's going to be more engineers than you can shake a stick at, and not a lot of pure sciences. Remember, it cost money to fire up the gate, and flinging people into another galaxy is an unfathomable amount of (international, at this point) taxpayer funds. You're going to want as much applied science as possible, and as much overlap in disciplines as possible.

(Unfortunately this does leave little room for error, so anyone that dies is capable of leaving a hole in potential research.)

Therefore, how would a top-down order of technological research look like? My assumption was this:

> Engineering of the city of Atlantis itself

 » ZPMs, auxiliary and/or complementary power sources

 » Materials and material manufacturing

 » Design specs of different technologies (jumpers, yes, but also anti-grav, shields, climate controls)

> Biological sciences

 » ATA gene therapies

 » Whatever the Ancients were working on regarding ascension

  ⇛ Helpful with the Ori once Atlantis is informed of that issue

To wit, neither addendum on the biological sciences bullet point is pertinent at the time of department formation, as Carson invented the ATA gene therapy after arriving in Atlantis, and the Ori weren't an issue for a similar reason.

Ergo, all non-biological engineering fields would have had higher billing, and thus more of them hired. The only exception would be medical, and I'm sure the SGC had the forethought to bully the IOA into its relevancy and make sure that department was as fully-stocked as they could manage.

Now what about practical considerations? Plans are nice and all, but rarely survive contact with reality, so some adjustment might be needed. This, I believe, the SGC considered, given their own history of needing to rapidly adjust on the fly.

Rodney, as Chief Science Officer (CSO), would be the one to not only make these kinds of decisions, but also to listen to the head of the expedition as to what needed to be prioritized. As the show has demonstrated, there can be a significant amount of shuffling around of employees based on the needs of a minute, and hour, a week, a month - for an indefinite amount of time? Basics are what gets the job done.

So what things would Rodney need to consider, or be directed to consider by Elizabeth?

> Oh shit this can sink

 » Rodney's main work - keeping the ZPM working and get as many new ones as possible

> Oh shit everything's so far away

 » Rodney's other main work - making sure the gate works as ordered

> Oh shit we're in another galaxy

 » Food

  ⇛ Getting, keeping, preserving, maybe the occasional growing

 » Utilities

  ⇛ Luckily they don't have to pay for it lol

  ⇛ But also oh shit lighting, water, sewage, air filtration, general life support

   ⟹ Rodney's third main work

   ⟹ This poor guy

 » Medicine

  ⇛ Rodney delegates the hell out of this

  ⇛ Good luck making potions, guys!

 » Bullets

  ⇛ Also other things the military needs

  ⇛ Fun times re-inventing the wheel I mean gunpowder

  ⇛ Good work for bored soldiers, and possibly also any scientist Rodney puts in time-out

 » Clothes

  ⇛ Ha, thread

  ⇛ Also needles

  ⇛ Experiments in sewing machine making

   ⟹ Watch the fingers

  ⇛ How to replace fabric?

  ⇛ Off-duty clothes

  ⇛ Also medical clothing (scrubs for staff, patients)

 » Miscellaneous

  ⇛ Entertainment, I guess

Internal monologue included because I think it's funny.

Anyway.

While Rodney's spending his days with Benny Hill music playing in the background trying to get all of those priorities done on top of actually delegating work and doing whatever else Elizabeth (and John) want him to do, other people actually need to have some work to get done. So what are they doing?

It depends on who already does what, frankly. So in the above combined interests (amount of people that can fit through an intergalactic wormhole, competing IOA/SGC interests, realities of living in Atlantis), I'm proposing this set-up (commentary included):

Medical Sciences Department

Head: Carson Beckett (later, Jennifer Keller, later, whomever)

Contains: Surgery, psychiatry, physical therapy

Function: Maintaining health of expedition members

Examples of function: surgeries, medical prescriptions, recuperation from injuries, mental stability

Personnel quantity: 1 (Head) + 10 (surgical team) + 5 (nurses) + 1 (psych) + 1 (phys. therapy) + 1 (anesthesiologist) = 19 total

A/N: Nurses have training in medications and physical therapy, surgical team also doubles as general practitioners.

Life Sciences Department

Head: OC

Contains: Earth biologists, bio- & biochemical engineers, astro/xeno-biologists, botany, environmental chemistry, zoology, microbiology

Function: Auxiliary to Medical Department needs

Examples of function: pharmaceutical synthesis, analysis of unknown species, biological database creation, gene therapies (pharmaceutical adjacent)

Personnel quantity: 1 (Head) + 2 (Earth biologists) + 2 (bioE & biochemE) + 1 (astro/xenobio) + 1 (botany) + 1 (envchem) + 1 (zoo) + 2 (microbio) = 11

A/N: Both biologists also have training/specialization in genetics/gene mapping (assists both Carson and Katie), some input in requesting gate missions based on in-house needs.

Field Sciences Department

Head: OC

Contains: Linguistics, historical geography, cartography, ethnography, sociology, oceanography, hydrology, atmospheric physics, planetary physics

Function: Research pool for gate teams and any assigned missions

Examples of function: Preservation of refugee cultures, scouting for trade planets, analysis of back-up sites for establishment

Personnel quantity: 1 (Head) + 3 (linguistics) + 1 (histgeo) + 1 (cart) + 1 (ethno) + 1 (socio) + 1 (oceano) + 1 (hydro) + 1 (atmophys) + 1 (planphys) = 12

A/N: SGC duplicate all shoved into one department, mostly ignored in-house but their brains are picked for background dossiers when it comes to mission planning. Linguists trained in xenolinguistics, from the SGC, can cover the various anthro fields if necessary, also various training in structural linguistics. Main scientist pulls for gate team assignments, if something critical isn't needed (i.e. Ancient technology).

Applied Sciences Department

Head: Rodney McKay (or perhaps Radek Zelenka?)

Contains: Electrical/technical engineering, nuclear physics, civil engineering, astrophysics, laser/optical, chemical engineering

Function: Study, synthesis, and adaptations of Ancient technology

Examples of function: ZPM analysis with intent to duplicate, experimental duplications of Ancient technology materials, study of gate physics and construction with intent to duplicate, study and experimental duplication of other Ancient technologies (i.e. hyperdrives, cloaks, weapons, etc)

Personnel quantity: 1 (Head) + 3 (electreng) + 6 (techeng/gate techs) + 1 (nucphys) + 1 (astrophy) + 1 (LZ/opt) +  3 (chemeng) = 16

A/N: The people Rodney are yelling at most often, because mistakes mean kablooey. Also a lot of the people running around in an emergency. 1 nuclear physicist because Rodney pulls a lot of intellectual weight, and same with the astrophysicist and laser/optical person (mostly they're there as on-paper hires and back-ups/assistants for him for his own research).

Gate Technicians

Head: ??? Joint custody

Contains: Gate technicians

Functions: Auxiliary to Applied Sciences Department, interacts with the gate and the gate only

Examples of function: dialing, searching database for addresses, maintaining mission logs and planets visited, basic repair and maintenance of the gate, technical drawings as required by others

Personnel quantity: Chuck, idk +5 for full shift overlaps = 6 total (listed in Applied Sciences department as techeng/gate techs)

A/N: Technically nerds but are active duty, probably loans from SGC (maybe also Russia because of the DHD debacle?).

Gate technicians are, although folded into the Applied Sciences department, listed separately in order to better articulate their duties (and the fact that they get the green shirts). Shout-out to @spurious for enabling the idea that gate techs would do technical drawings 😁

Sum Total of Science Division Personnel

Medical: 19

Life Sciences: 11

Field Sciences: 12

Applied Sciences: 16

Total total: 19 + 11 + 12 + 16 = 58

This isn't anywhere close to my initial estimate of 150, but I think it adequately covers all the preconceived and actual responsibilities that the science division would need to handle in the expedition. Possibly I might update these numbers as I develop this headcanon further, but that would end up in a new post.

Further elaboration on headcanons about each department will be in their own posts, with links updated here as they're posted for ease of reference.

Science Department Breakdown Posts

Medical Department (posted 14 May 2024)

Life Sciences Department (posted 29 May 2024)

Field Sciences Department (posted 30 May 2024)

Applied Sciences Department (posted 10 June 2024)

Chief Science Officer (posted 18 July 2024)

Chief Medical Officer (posted 20 July 2024)

Science Department Heads (posted 20 July 2024)

[thatcannibalkitty]

hi tumblr!

i genuinely feel really embarrased to be doing this, but i could use some help.

short version:

i’m in a bad situation at home, and need to save up money to move out. i’m 18 in september, but i have almost nothing in savings since i haven’t been able to get a job. anything helps. 🫶🏻

long version:

i have been abused my whole life. because of this, i have several mental and physical illnesses which disable me, and make it hard for me to live. i still live with the people who did this to me, and i need to not anymore. i’m unable to get a job, for several reasons. my disabilities, and also accessibility. i have many young siblings, and our schedule mostly revolves around them. there isn’t much time in the schedule for my mom to take me to work, and i haven’t been able to get my license yet. i have a permit, but i haven’t been able to get the hours in since my parents are always busy. my mom works a lot. my parents are separated, and we spend the week at my mom’s, the weekend at my dad’s. since i’m only at his place for two days, i don’t get much time to get things like driving done. so, my parents can’t take me to work, and i can’t drive myself yet. i don’t have any family or friends who are able to either.

i want to start my life, to get away from it all and begin to heal. not only am i still going through abuse, my mothers house is becoming a safety risk. we have lived there for six years, and it hasn’t been taken care of at all. it’s become moldy, very dirty, and it is falling apart. there are holes in the walls, both from violence and from unfinished projects of my fathers doing. we have two dogs, who have ruined our flooring, and contributed to the house being very dirty. they are large, feisty dogs with a past bad history, which leaves them very traumatized and they “behave poorly” (i don’t think of dogs as bad, just neglected and mistreated :((( ) it’s very hard for me to take the responsibility of the dogs, since i have a lot of physical and mental limits. but i am forced to take care of them because no one else will / can.

i have also been homeschooled my entire life, but that has been more like unschooled. when i was younger, my parents did not know that i had adhd or autism, and so they didn’t understand why school was hard for me at times. i excelled in english, history, and science, but totally fell flat in math. by the time i was in fourth grade (2016), i had a college reading level, but couldn’t do simple multiplication. this frustrated my mom, who was my primary teacher, to the point where she stopped schooling me all together. i was expected to teach and discipline myself. when i was fifteen (2022), my therapist became aware of my lack of schooling. she called CPS on my parents because of it. they never ended up showing, but it scared my parents enough that they got me into an online schooling program. i have since had to switch to a different one, and overall had a difficult time with schooling myself. it’s not led by a teacher, you do the lessons yourself. it’s hard for me to keep myself motivated. i have finished almost all of my english assignments available to me, but im still falling behind in math. i don’t know how to pick myself back up. i haven’t even started on history and science yet, as they don’t even have a curriculum for them. i don’t know what to do. i desperately need help and i don’t know where to find it.

if you read all of my sob story, thank you! :D i really appreciate it.

anything helps, $1, advice, anything!!! 💕

[septembersung]

I’m planning for the spring term.

We have to make up 2.5 months of sickness (because of first my health issues and then we had every communicable winter illness imaginable as a family.) It will run from January 7 until the baby is born, so about five months ish, including some breaks. Wherever we land when baby is born is the end of our year, full stop.

I spent time looking at what we were doing in the fall, and then how burned out we were five weeks in, (we were supposed to make it six weeks and then a break) and reconfigured a lot. This schedule is easier on the kids (although there’s a bit of an adjustment curve, have to build up some stamina and better habits on our way) but it requires that I be on point at all times. This is not realistic but I don’t know what else to change. At some point in a big family you just are busy, your days are over full, and you toughen up, or you fail.

Long term, it will get less crammed as more of the kids are reading, and later still, working, independently. Or so I keep telling myself. But that’s not happening in 2025. I might hope for two more independent readers by 2026.

Anyway we’re bringing back something that really worked for us last year which is oral foreign language learning and also getting back to singing where we do one hymn and one folk song. I had picked “hark the herald angels sing” for January, because it’s my favorite (and Christmas lasts until Candlemas I will die on this hill), but we could do Silent Night/Stille Nacht, bilingually, which would dovetail with German. But it could be too much, for the first month of jumping back in. On the other hand, if you expect nothing you get nothing. I will have to consider.

I have made a lot of lists which I will be posting on the wall and setting alarms on my phone. I need to spend a lot of the next week digging out of the housework hole and reorganizing school supplies and and practicing my script to address certain recurring discipline issues. The kids need to enjoy their time and also be gently called to a little less loosey goosey of a daily routine. And I have some Christmas to dos still, for the twelve days. And a laundry list of various other tasks and decision making. The coffee I had this morning is not helping me be less anxious.

And somebody ran off with my comfortable house shoes, without which I am helpless and my toes are cold. Unfair.

[antigonick]

hey hey pauline, how do you manage to read so Much? im relieved that my uni syllabi force me to read, but also resent the fact that well. i don’t read much because of those syllabi either.

i realize that the algorithmic internet and burnout have smoothed my brain and i need to work on putting the wrinkles back but MAN. i miss being curious, or rather, being able to effectively and patiently explore that curiosity. art and learning are everywhere and i have to have faith that this is a relearnable skill (!!!!) but. yk. woeee is meee i love books when did they get so difficult

I don't read nearly enough anymore either. I do write a lot more, so I guess that's a plus, but reading-wise I'm in the fucking pit with no end in sight. I finished my PhD a year and a half ago and I don't think I've read more than... five? Books for fun since then? I'm curious, I'm excited, I buy books, but I find myself putting them down and not finishing them; those that are useful for my research, my translation work or the lessons I create I treat emptily and efficiently, as academics do, focusing on the parts I need instead of engaging with the whole, which is frustrating and feels empty because a text is a system and I'm necessarily missing out if I pick and choose. As you say for your syllabi—I'm almost relieved to have had mandatory reading for my studies this year because I simply had to read this shit, and I loved doing it, and I was so relieved to see I could still do it, but I only managed it by sticking to hard deadlines, giving myself rigid reading timeslots, page-goals, etc. You have to finish this by the end of the week—today you must read 50 pages and you're not moving your ass off this chair until you reach it. That's the only solution I can give you, and that helps me, since after a day of work I end up reaching for passive brain-off activities instead of books if I don't discipline myself. Let go of the resentment and take everything you can from what you do manage to read. I don't know how sustainable that is either, considering this all speaks of burnout but crawling out of the burnout by making reading a task is an easy slide into making it even more of a chore. My other working alternative has been to pick up books I don't care much about but are entertaining all the same—no pressure to engage with nuanced underlayers, with complex stylistic devices, no expectations and thoughtful critique, just fast-food thriller or horror or crime books that coax me into at least reading spontaneously and show to myself that I can finish a book by choice. Sometimes. Oh, and shorts—one poem a day if you can, one poem a week if you forget. I'm thinking of coming back to audio books too—can't take notes on them, which I dislike, but in transport and on walks it might be a better alternative than nothing.

Not sure this answer is anything else than a bummer BUT. Yeah. I hope some of those work for you ❤️

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

you seem really organized. are you? if yes, have you always been this way? how does one get to this point of discipline?

I'd say I'm pretty organized. I don't know if I've always been this way or if I was forced to be this way. XD Probably both. But organized looks different for everyone. I can share some things I do, though.

Everything has a designated place. I always remember where everything is if it goes back to the same place.

Use any spare time. When I have a free ten minutes (or any amount of downtime), I will use it to clear my surroundings. Even if it's as small as putting my pens in order or putting away a few things, it prevents a big mess from ever happening.

When putting things away, things I use most often are placed in easy reach. If I want to use something more often, I will move it to the front.

I am always altering my organization for optimization rather than aesthetics. I am neat, but it is more important for me to use my things. If I want to use something more often, I will make it more accessible.

Tasks are in order of priority and efficiency. I will do multiple tasks at once if I think it is most efficient - sometimes with my two hands doing two different things. I have mental checkpoints to double check to make sure I didn't miss anything. And, of course, I have priorities of each day and focus on doing those things first.

I use alarms if something is time sensitive. These days you can change alarm sounds on your clock app to customize the type of sound to alert you of different things. Most of the time I don't need it, but it's a good habit to get into. Inevitably, I will get old and will be glad I already thought to do this.

Plan ahead for your future self. I do this a lot. If I purchased a bulk meal, I will separate it to meal-sized portions and store them that way so I only need to reheat a portion instead of having to lug the whole thing out. I will order products from soonest to expire in the front to latest in the back. When I go to my stash for a replacement, I already know the stuff closest to the front needs to be used first. I can also see if I'm running out depending on how empty the space left is.

I have a good memory. I generally don't need to write things down. I will use post-its / memo pads / notes app if I want to make a list (usually for groceries, addresses, etc). I always think in order of priority. If something doesn't need my attention right now, I'll make a mental note or stick a post-it somewhere I remember to remind myself (or set an alarm on my phone) to do it later.

Rely on your strengths and supplement your weaknesses. If you need to write things down to remember them, having list notepads in handy places or purchasing a planner can work for you. Just because I don't do it doesn't mean you shouldn't. I also don't live a very busy life. My current system works for now but might not in the future which is why I'm always thinking of future ways I can adapt. There are lots of planning styles out there you can research and experiment with to make your own perfect one. If your time is very important, try time blocking. If you need to be more flexible, utilize technology (Notion, Google calendar, other pre-installed apps on your phone, etc) to reposition things if needed. Most people carry their phone around all the time; technology might be the way to go nowadays (although for students, maybe keeping a paper copy is needed in case you can't use your phone in class). Set up routines for what is fixed in your life (work, school, etc) and keep it realistic. If you're not a morning person, prep the night before (ex: meals / outfit / things you need and place it all in your leaving path so you can just pick up and go). If you are a morning person, you can batch tasks for the allotted time you have before you start your day (sleep early to prepare well for your morning routine). Keep in mind how long it takes you to do something - not how quickly you wish you could do things XD but the actual realistic time.

If you have a system in place, keep what works and change what doesn't. Don't wait. Just do it. Most of the time you can tweak a little something to make it a teeny bit easier for you. Likewise, don't overhaul things that already work for you simply because it seems inefficient to others. There's the whole "do something for 30 days and it becomes a habit", but, in my experience, things don't become habits unless you make it easy for yourself and it feels easy for you. Think about the life you lead and the life you ant to lead. You don't need to be everyone else. You only need to be you.

Some people don't need to be as organized because they like life's spontaneity. Some people need to be organized despite their nature because they have deadlines (mostly talking about school here) and so they adopt a system but discard it later (when they graduate). In this case, it can be difficult so I recommend both having a useful system that also makes you happy as you use it. Buy stationery that suit your style and make you smile. Using digital planning tools opens up even more options (including free ones) - if you need those BTS meme photos in your daily schedule to keep your spirits up throughout the day, by all means, add 'em in.

Also, if you are interested in living with someone, find someone who has the same definition of "messy" and "clean" as you. Don't police them on how they're doing it, but the end result should be the same. It'll make for a more harmonious environment, fr. Bonus if they like doing the tasks you personally hate and if you like doing the tasks they personally hate.

[charcorner]

Welcome to Char Corner!

Hi there, fellow Char owners! My name is Astra, I use any pronouns but mostly she/they, and I raise Homo aznablii (also known as Chars) for a living! I have worked at multiple Char shelters, and own multiple Chars myself. Here's a quick intro to them!

(Plus, some tips I shared in the comments of a Strange Aeons video about clown husbandry:)

Mars

Male 0079

Age: 4

Mars is a new addition to the family. I picked him up from a Char shelter back in July. He was surrendered to the shelter after his owners couldn't take care of them. PSA: Purebred 0079s are not good starter Chars! They need constant stimulation to keep from engaging in the classic Char pastime of destroying everything in your home, along with 0079s needing to be disciplined regularly, (without force! please do not hit or yell at your char, as they will distrust you and be more likely to indiscriminately attack you. i like to use spray bottles) to actually make them listen to you. If you REALLY like 0079s but don't have any experience raising Chars, get a 0079/Quattro cross. While Mars can have an attitude sometimes and has tried to escape a few times when I let him outside for more than a few minutes, he's a really sweet Char. Fun fact: he's the same 0079 Char from the Garfield story I shared above

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Hallie Jr.

Female Quattro/CCA mix

Age: 3

Hallie Jr. is one of the Char pups from the story I shared above. Her mother, a Quattro named Hallie, was one of the first Chars I raised, and was a general sweetheart. Sadly, last May, Hallie was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 17, and I had no choice but to end her life in a humane way. I'll never forget the day I took her home from the shelter all those years ago, and how she was so scared on the ride back home... Anyways, Hallie Jr. is chaotic. That's it. I remember when I first took Mars home and Hallie Jr. gave him a nice chomp on the shoulder. What a way to roll in the welcome wagon... She's also given me a few nips, too, and almost attacked another Char at the Char park (my pride and joy as a char owner. /s) Anyways, I always say that Quattros are the ideal starter breed of Char, due to their mostly-docile temperament. CCAs, however, need a great deal of training and socialization, which I know a lot of casual Char owners can't afford to provide. Sadly, this has led to many CCAs turning aggressive and getting the breed as a whole classified as dangerous in a lot of jurisdictions. (They're kinda like the "bully breeds" of dogs.)

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Meteor

Male Full Frontal

Age: 27

While I normally do not condone getting Full Frontals due to the problems with the breed (see above), a friend gave me Meteor because they were moving to a place which did not allow Chars in the lease (an unfortunate truth in many places) and I couldn't say no. Even if he is getting on in the years (the average Char lifespan is 33 years), he is still one of the most amazing Chars I have ever taken care of. However, last month he started to become more lethargic and nipped me when I tried to pet him (an action he usually enjoys). I'm planning to take him to the vet soon to see what's up with him.

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Ceres

Female mutt (with 0079 and CCA features)

Age: 1½ years

Last but not least, Ceres was a stray Char pup who was rejected by her mother. I found her in my front lawn in critical condition and I just had to take her in because I couldn't let a newborn Char die like that, and bottle-fed her and nursed her back to health. She's currently in her "teen phase" (Chars fully mature at 2 years old) and is starting to test her boundaries. She often gets zoomies and even scratched Hallie Jr. once (she's probably learned her lesson now). However, she's still as sweet as the day I took her in!

Random Char facts and tips:

Chars only started being imported to the western world in the past 25 years. Before that, they were popular pets in Japan and other East Asian countries, hitting their stride in the late seventies, although a small portion of Chars were imported to Italy around the early eighties in the hopes of starting a fad, although they never caught on back then.

CHARS AND CLOWNS DO NOT GO TOGETHER!! I've seen so many Chars get surrendered to shelters because they attacked or even killed clowns, one of their NATURAL PREY SOURCES. Come on.

Chars are facultative carnivores. In the wild, they prey on not only clowns, but also deer and other large herbivores. But domesticated Chars will still be as happy eating small animals such as live mice as they would chasing down a deer in the wild.

Please do not keep attack/guard Chars, especially CCAs. The training to turn them into one cannot be done in a way that does not involve abuse. Please get a functioning security system.

You may have noticed that Chars are horny AF. It's a survival strategy: Chars mate with anything and everything as wild mother Chars have a tendency to reject or even eat their offspring. Thankfully for Char breeders, domesticated Chars have had this behavior almost entirely bred out of them.

Chars are pregnant for 6 months and usually give birth to a litter of 4-9 Char pups.

Anyways, good luck in your own Char breeding and owning adventures!

~ Astra

[olderthannetfic]

https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/718540890786922496

The crucial difference, to me, is that fandom is for fun and guilting people into changing what they do for fun generally does not work.

I've been in a fandom situation like anon describes. In a book fandom some years ago there was a lot of discourse over the appearance and ethnicity of characters with very sparse book descriptions in fanart and the way racialized stereotypes feed into those choices. I agreed with a lot of the points - though not always how they were made; there was a lot of that early Tumblr "we're not obliged to be nice to our oppressors" rhetoric used as an excuse to harass people. I didn't receive such harassment myself, and I actually liked a lot of the POC-centric headcanons that some of the fans were promoting and adopted some of them for my own. I started making fanart where one or more of the characters were POC.

But ultimately l stopped making content for that fandom around that time. The feeling of scrutiny and having to self-censor and second-guess myself before choices as inconsequential - in the grand scheme of things - as how dark I make the skin of a fictional character I draw for my own fun and for an audience of like ten people - took the fun out of fandom. I don't have a lot of self-discipline, I can't just sit down and make things. If I make art, it's because I got a random bout of passion to create something in my head and I carried it through before the excitement ran out. Putting any brakes and checks and "but what will people think of this?" in there means the art never sees the light of day.

And maybe that was good for the POC artists in the fandom - one less white artist drawing two characters of unspecified ethnicity as white. I'm sure some people reading this would be like "good riddance". But if the goal is to drive away white artists so POC artists receive more attention, then that's a little harder to make sound appealing, isn't it? I mean, I wouldn't even take issue with it if that were the goal, fair's fair and all that. But then don't present it as "oh we just want our POC ships and characters to stop being snubbed!"

(In an ironic twist, the book has since received a visual adaptation with white leads and the substantial diversity that was previously found in fanart even pre-discourse disappeared basically overnight. Which just goes to show how silly it is to act like individual random-ass fanartists have much impact. )

...The other crucial difference is that online settings are inherently anonymized in a way a real-life engineering workplace or whatever isn't. Most people don't know the demographics and ethnicity of most other people they interact with, unless it specifically comes up. Even on places like Twitter this continues to hold true, and it drastically changes what it means when POC fans' content and opinions are ignored, and how to fix that. I don't have a point here except to say that a lot of this discussion seems to assume racist bias is targeted when it very much isn't, and act like "just stop being racist and ignoring fans of color on purpose, you dicks!" is a viable solution.

At the end of the day, the problem I see here is people with actual institutional power (in this case, people making design choices of big-budget media) need to make more and better POC characters, and then the fandom will follow - rather than expecting fans as an amorphous collective to pick up the slack where the mainstream dropped it. Those are the people you need to be putting pressure on. Funnily enough, the people I virtually never see accused of racism is the people who were actually in charge of the aforementioned visual adaptation...

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