#i keep that shit FOREVER
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hrgmghk, because- because- uhhrrgkk.... yeah. I don't know how to show appreciation like a normal person, so please take this instead
(。• ᵕ •。) ♡
it's a mix of "thank you" + "i hope you feel a little better/well-wishes" and a bit of "if i could fist-fight depression and life itself, i really would"
IM?!???????!?? I?!??!!!??
TEI!?;!:!/?/!
ITS THE!! THE SONG!! THE SOMNG I WAS TALKING ABOUT!!!!!! AAAAAAAGGHHH!!!!!
this is genuinely so beautiful and gorgeous i cant. i cant 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
also- THANK ME?!?? THANK YOU!!!!
TYSM!!!!! i had to take a second to just stop myself from screaming when i saw this 😭😭
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY IM SO BAD AT WORDS I JUST. FEELS. FEELS ARE TOO STRONG
everything about this is so 😭 like are you kidding!?!!! ARE U JOSHIN ME
ur art is as beautiful as ur writing and everything abt this makes me so SOFT and WEAK AND AGHHHHH
HOW DO I PUT HAND FLAPPIES IN WORDS AND THIS BIG OL SWIRL OF LIGHT IN MY CHEST IN WORDS HOW DO U ;; HOW DOES- *dies*
this made my day- truly 😭😭
ur such a peach for making this, thank u so much 💙💙💙💙💙
and the lil turtle and bird in the corner- im gonna collapse. i cant;;; 😭😭
#sometimes the depression catches up to me and then there’s nice beautiful lovely ppl in my phone and im like;; oh yeah i forgot 😭😭#things can be good sometimes 😭#im in a bit of a better mood if u can’t tell today :’)#yesterday and the days before that i was slugging through everything#but i still deeply appreciate y’all’s kind words and art (SPECIALLY U MJ)#so i apologise if i wasn’t as upbeat and didn’t sound as appreciative those days#i promise i really was grateful (i save all art i get submitted <:))#ur support genuinely means so much to me tysm 😭#this is going straight into the album of fanart ppl make me#i keep that shit FOREVER#FOREVER!!!#side note#tei u better watch ur ass;;#ur on my list again#it’s happenin#idk what exactly#but ITLL HAPPEN#ARTS COMIN UR WAY#ask#ish#😭😭#the day i stop using this sobbing emoji bby girl it’s a LIE ITS NOT ME#friemb art
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something about s1-3 zane is just. oh this guy is so silly and friend-shaped. look at his friendly boy swag. like????? how could you ever hate him. the ultimate silly
not to hate on his titanium era because frankly it is very cool. but the essence of s1-3 zane is unique and uncapturable. he is just a little guy you can put in your pocket. his default facial expression is so inherently funny. there are no thoughts behind these eyes. i would trust him with my life.
#its almost 3am and i cant sleep HELP ME#ninjago#lego ninjago#zane julien#ninjago zane#my post#does this make sense? i am so fond of him like platonically let me just state this isnt any funny business. i just think hes neat#all the ninja have been my favourite at one point or another in my life (its now cole) but this era of zane i will forever be biased for#again im not being a hater of the new state of the show lol most of the characters are way better but zane is the exception imo#you can't improve upon perfection i guess x#AMELIA GO TO BED ITS 3AM#me: hmmmm why is my sleep schedule so screwed? why do i keep waking up at midday?#and then this is the shit i do at 3am#average amelia antics#amelia isn't funny
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prayer of the day:
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy spoilers#fhjy k2#gorgug thistlespring#kristen applebees#cw: gore#and we're serious abt that warning this time! we mean that shit!#slowly getting some stuff I wanted to draw for the boat fight-finale combo that I couldnt draw in time bc I was doing huge comic#k2 is the Funniest thing to ever happen not bc she's a good bit (she is but thats not relevant here) but bc she let me have Clone Politics#insane shit. so wild that brennan has to send her to real life forever to keep himself safe from her (he isnt)#tbh I love cassandra's domain esp. for stories she truly is the deity for jackasses. k2 walking in here like#idk whats going on but I know it's not good! and by the power of this fucking guy I will unlearn that knowledge#beautiful. wish that were me#doubt as irrational stubborn hope... honestly inspired#wherever u are out there k2. hope ur doing well. going to college learning so much abt the world
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the place me and my roommate were supposed to move into today was so disgusting and uninhabitable we just took our stuff and left and now we're gonna be staying at airbnbs and hotels until further notice/until we can find a new place hopefully quickly...........im in my homeless drifter era y'all!!!😍😍so if im not as active then thats why LMFAO
1 like = 1 prayer
#bro was literally trying to rent us a silent hill apartment#we already paid first and last too which was 2700k and he said hes not gonna refund us EVEN THO WE DIDNT EVEN MOVE IN!!#like first month i get BUT NOT EVEN THE SECOND MONTH?? all landlords go to hell#looking back at the og listing like.....yeah i can see why he never took pics of the outside......literally looks like a landfill😃#we're SO LUCKY that uhaul allowed us to keep our things stored with them bc if they insisted on our shit still being dropped off#we woulda been so screwed/forced to move in and then would have had to hire ANOTHER uhaul to move back OUT lol#AND I HATE MOVING the idea of unloading all of our stuff just to pack it again literally makes me wanna perish#but even tho i may be a homeless drifter rn that wont stop me from also working on my oneshot between searching for places😍#the oneshot has a smut scene at the beginning LMAO and smut takes me forever to write so id been putting it off#but now that im over that hump (pun intended) i think ill be faster now brrrrrrrrrrr 9k words so far#its probs gonna be like 40k LMFAO maybe longer... idek#but also ill be hella busy trying to find a home so LMFAO who knows...chat im so fucking TIREDDDDD🧎♀️🧎♀️#my moms trying to see if she can fight him and get our money back but it aint lookin good bros#if i randomly open commissions then youll also know why LMAO
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i think than would be claustrophobic
#reupload bc i messed something up the first time#i really hope this does well bc i like it a lot#this is referencing sisyphus chaining him and trapping him in a closet btw#it makes sense and also hes the type to be affected deeply by shit and keep it to himself forever while pretending hes not affected by it#i also think he cut his hair short so no one could grab it and drag him anywhere haha#my artwork#art#hades game#hades supergiant#hades fanart#thanatos#thanatos hades#artists on tumblr#comic#greek mythology
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Kendrick sending a pestilence and plague into your house, into your bed, into your streams, into your streets, into your drink, into your bread
#i CANNOT#my friend has been keeping me updated on the drake and Kendrick beef all day#i have only listened to Kendricks songs i am not a drake fan#god Kendrick Lamar i love you forever#meet the grahams got me worrying if i had secret children#euphoria made me worry that maybe I had opps i wasn't aware of#I'm not usually into celebrity beef but holy SHIT this is good#drake stay down STAY DOWN#drake#kendrick lamar#meet the grahams#not like us
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it's been 8 years and she's still down bad for her neighbor (who wouldn't)
and so there she is: Step 3 Athena! 🌙✨
Step 1 & Step 2 here
(Infos about Athena in every steps except 4 below if you're interested)
(watch out it's long.)
Step 1 -
At 10, Athena is a very curious girl, somewhat nosey and a bit clumsy (main reason why she often has bandages). She likes puzzles, creepy stuff and drawing (but nothing that serious about that hobby yet). While she isn't very shy, she's still uneasy around people she doesn't know and moving to a new town isn't helping. She has trouble accepting changes, and this whole situation is a way too big change.
Athena is very close to her mom during step 1. Unfortunately for her, she doesn't really look like her that much and she's kind of bothered by that, especially because the person she obviously looks like, her "dad", isn't there. Not having a dad isn't really a huge problem for her, but Athena fears a little bit people's opinion on that subject: "Is it weird that I don't have a dad...?".
She's feeling sad and scared about moving out, as she has to get used to a completely different world (in her eyes). "At least I have my mom", she thinks. But if moving in Golden Grove was scary at first, meeting Qiu and Tamarack was a huge help for Athena to feel included.
She thinks Qiu, aka "Autumn", is funny but also a huge show-off, haha. She LOVES to tease Qiu. But Athena's also genuinely worried about Qiu sometimes, because that kid is a huge people-pleaser.
When it comes to Tamarack, man... Athena totally puts this girl on a pedestal. She thinks Tamarack is amazing and pretty. And should Tamarack say anything positive about Athena, you can be certain the latter will go crazy internally. At 10, Athena doesn't realize she actually has a huge crush on Tamarack yet, though.
Step 2 -
At 14, Athena became a sort of troublemaker, she barely cares about rules. She's not mean but she grew to be more blunt and direct than she was as a 10-year-old, this and her current appearance make her seem unapproachable. However she kept her soft side, a side that she ironically doesn't even keep that much hidden but that you still have to deserve. If at 10 she would often have bandages because of her clumsiness, at 14, it's mostly because she's reckless. Some things that remained are her love for puzzles, creepy stuff and drawing, in fact, she started to get interested in visual arts.
In fact, the tough side of her personality grew when her first group friends with Qiu and Tamarack slowly fell apart. She couldn't do anything to prevent that from happening, so she felt like she had to toughen up. But to be honest, she's becoming tired of being the sole link between them, she's barely trying to now. Maybe Qiu and Tamarack won't become friends again. She has to accept it... but maybe Athena still has troubles accepting changes, no matter how old she is, after all.
Despite all that, Athena still treats both of them nicely. She still teases Qiu whenever she can (watch out Athena, the teasing could backfire on you). Her worries about them are still present too, but for different reasons than in step 1. Even 4 years later, Athena still retrieve Qiu's lost papers because they would NOT do it themselves. No matter what, Autumn remains her dear friend and the feeling is mutual.
Tamarack, aka "Tam", is her best friend! ... and the girl she has a crush on, Athena realized it now. Athena doesn't know if Tam feels the same way or not, though. Athena still thinks Tamarack is the most amazing and most talented person out there, she wishes Tam could see it too. She's highly worried about Tamarack potentially leaving Golden Grove at any moment but she tries to hide it from Tamarack. "Tam probably has enough of people walking on eggshells with her", she thinks. Athena dislikes Tamarack's parents for not only never being there for their daughter but also for making her situation so uncertain, only for their own interests (in her eyes).
Another feeling started to grow: jealousy. Athena will feel jealous of anyone who seems a bit too close to Tamarack. Does she think she's no match for Tamarack? Yes. Does that stop her from being jealous? No. She knows she has no right to be, Tamarack is a wonderful girl, it's impossible not to like her, but she can't help it.
Athena grew to be even more bothered by her lack of resemblance with her mother. Some times before turning 14, she started to dye her hair cranberry, just like her mom's hair color (let's say Opal didn't really like to see that her daughter started dyeing her hair at her young age, reaction Athena didn't appreciate, all she wanted was to look like her mom, what's the problem?). Ironically, while Athena wishes so hard to look like her mom, her relationship with her became somewhat strained. As if resembling a completely unknown guy wasn't enough. Living his best life nowhere to be found, uh? Resentment is the word here. Never towards her mom, even if their relationship is not that good at this point, but towards this guy who gave her his physical traits she never wanted and started to despise.
At least she became used to live in Golden Grove.
Step 3 -
At 18, Athena is not the rough troublemaker that she was at 14 anymore. Now she's more like a silly prankster, seemingly always up to something more stupid than before, although she remains reckless and blunt (but less on purpose and more out of habit). Of course, her interest in visual arts remained intact. Her liking for creepy stuff turned into a huge love for horror and its aesthetic.
Her relationship with her mom is getting better than it was 4 years ago. Athena grew out of the resentment she had for her "dad" during step 2 and learned to accept she may not look that much like her mom, but that it doesn't cancel the fact she's Opal's daughter no matter how she looks. Plus "some bits of [Opal] did end up in [her]" after all, right?
Athena's relationship with Autumn is what you could describe as "siblings by hearts", Athena does consider them as the sibling she never had.
Athena and Tamarack are still officially "besties for life", but little do they know that they both ended up falling in love with each other, plain and simple.
Her jealousy and resentment did tone down, but when she thinks back to her 14-year-old self, she feels bad, so bad. For being jealous of Tamarack's friends, for being resentful of a random donor and basically making many things about herself. "Man, I was such a prick. And for what?".
If when she was 14, Athena felt like she was no match for Tamarack because she put Tam on a pedestal, at 18, she now thinks she's simply not good enough as a person for Tamarack. She kind of "accepted" that if Tamarack only wants to be friends, then it's fine, she cannot force Tam to love her back. It's silly to think someone like her could be extra-special in Tam's heart anyway (girl if you knew.), it's nice enough to be her best friend.
Between step 2 and 3, Athena managed to put a label on herself: she's lesbian.
#I hope her story isn't too wacky or simply poorly written aha#also I hope there isnt any typo I havent seen#some parts sound like I was writing a fic from Athena's POV lmao#english is not my first language can you tell#tbh with y'all I didn't really want to add the jealousy option in my story at first#but it grew on me when I remembered the *MC* could be jealous too and realized it could add depth to Athena's character#she can and will be a cringe and petty teenager#I'm not even sure all my little story about Athena feeling like the worst piece of shit ever for her behavior during step 2#could be even mentionned in the final game but I'll keep it as is until further notice#I admit I want to stick to canon as much as possible but I'll treat myself on this one#“siblings by hearts” really feels like I'm taking the “family” status too literally but I swear I'm not#about Tam and Athena I like when the slowburn is slowing hard#and when they're too stupid for this world#our life now and forever#olnf#tamarack baumann#qiu lin#olnf mc#athena suzuki#my drawing
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hihi i am VERY broke and need to make ends meet while i catch up on my queue so i'm offering my cheapest commissions ever! ! get a little animal drawing from me and my mouse made in 'spaint !!! HERE"S THE LINK!!!
reblogs super appreciated!! ty !!!!
#genuinely GENUINELY sorry to ask you to use twitter i know it sucks but the ability to reply with images will make this a billion times#easier on me in terms of keeping shit organized#and if someone donated to me and i miss it i'll be sad forever and feel terrible#my art#mspaint#pixel#microsoft paint#commissions#kofi#wwheheewwewwwwwwweewweewww
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Louis' "You're boring!" Could mean so many things, but I think what's most apparent about that line is that Armand takes no initiative just for himself. He's not really anybody, because he never goes out and finds himself or gets attached to anyone but Louis. Without Louis as his guide he's literally just sitting on a couch picking lint! That's the thing.
He orbits constantly around what would make Louis happy, and never really fully going what would make me happy? Ultimately that drive to please Louis is what drives him to torturing Daniel, not so much that he'd care to just do it. Ultimately, not giving proper care to Louis is just a way to make sure Louis knows he has to orbit around him as well, with shoving Lestat onto him just that other nail on the coffin. So, even if he fails to figure out how to make Louis happy with him, he still knows what Armand is good for, and better than.
That dependency is what drives Armand's abuse. It really just comes down to that. Armand doesn't even realize how suffocated he is by his own dependency. This is just how life is to him. (It shouldn't be lost either that dependency is a theme considering this episode also deals with addiction).
Daniel's fascinating because he's just so driven to be somebody. He's largely independent, he seeks things because he wants them. It's his drug to poke and prod at all the things that he shouldn't. Daniel's exciting because he lets Louis in to something different, lets him in to all this potential in another person that he can also do the same with for himself. It's a real connection. A two way street. It's easy to tell how Armand can be smothering then because he's never introducing him to anything really new, and most the ways both of them connect are all painful and traumatic. It's never just fun because there's always that layer of that pain. Fun died with Claudia.
50 years on they've gotten to a lot better place, both of them, but it's still that same shit. No seriously, "How is this any different from last time, Louis?"
Well... Because Armand's going to be, at the very least, making one [1] decision only for himself - and that's to hold power over Daniel's life. Fucking sick foreshadowing.
They aren't driving each other to the brink anymore but "The vampire is bored" STILL. Maybe it's even worse, despite being in better places, because Louis' sort of just been defeated by it. (I mean, can he even really leave this either?). He's accepting the dependancy cause he kind of has to. He'd literally ended up letting all the enjoyment be up where he can't reach [The book shelves]. Armand so desperately wants Louis happiness but what really ends up happening is that Louis ends up having to give Armand all his own. He's got no one or anything else to get it from. But like an iPad and an over the top eating ritual. Two extremes of what's just more lint picking.
This whole relationship is one I find just tragic inside and out. You have to just pity it, really. There's ways in which you can find yourself feeling bad for both of them. But you can only really be mad at Armand for any of it. Armand, who isn't even 'free' in any sense, having so little concept of his own independence, but is at the same time so controlling over other's. It's a tragic cycle. It's an infuriating one.
Louis at least has the mind to know when enough is enough. If just needing that extra push to get there. Armand's too scared of it being over to even try.
#iwtv#iwtv character analysis#interview with the vampire#louis de pointe du lac#armand#loumand#amc iwtv#iwtv s2#iwtv season 2#don't be afraid just start the tape#Gotta feel bad for Louis for winding up falling in love again with someone ruled so much by their own undealt with shit#making him once again the victim of abuse for it#But at least I guess Lestat values his independence? And Louis to an extent.#Theres a lot less co-dependancy going on between them but it's still like ... there#I'm so serious tho when I say I really want IWTV to go in the direction of 'vampires all dealing with their shit and breaking generational#cycles of abuse' because THATS so IT too me. That's the juice tbh.#because a thing with immortality is that you can't partition away from dealing with shit through knowing you or someone is going to die#You have to confront it you're forced to or else its just FOREVER literally going to be there#Louis (or really Claudia) being the first to really confront that (chef kiss)#which is an interesting thing to depict because technically we all carry the burden of eternity w/in us. Our impact on the world lasts and#what violence we allow in the world without fighting or working against it will never change either.#We have to confront the truth and find reconciliation with all of it or it is just without end there is no bottom to it#theres a lot of discussion on it but I think Louis considers himself a survivor. He's lived to this point and will keep living.#He probably cares too much about the why he ends up a victim (the undealt with shit he can't blame them for) to admit otherwise that he is#Too an extent too he cares and loves the people he's been with to really view it that way. But also this survivor perspective is very#'immortality' accepting. Naming a victim sort of is like naming a kind of death that can't go on from there.#Might make these tags into their own post at some point
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went back to the first few eps of dff to get a memory refresher and when fluke says por will probably die soon, jin says
and the camera cuts to phee giving jin this look
which may be absolutely nothing at all but i can't stop thinking of it as a "oh? now you're desperate to help? now you're worried about letting a friend die?" face
#dead friend forever#dff the series#my memory is so bad i can't remember a damn thing about exactly how the shit hit the fan at the start of the show#and it's amazing rewatching after seeing everything that happened in the past flashback eps#i like the idea that phee has some long revenge game in mind#and it's fascinating going back with that in mind#i support phee in making them all suffer#as a treat#this show is incredible like at first i was like: how are they going to keep this interesting for so many episodes?#but now i'm like OMG I HOPE THEY HAVE ENOUGH EPISODES TO TELL THE STORY#unbelievable lol
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DFF ep9 spoilers
I love gay revenge, I LOVE gay revenge, I love gay REVENGE, I love GAY revenge, HOWEVER
I also love brothers with an uncrossable chasm between them whose parents compare them who lose each other and their entire family along the way... guess what I'm saying is, I love guilty golden boy brother revenge, too
#that shit was so good#i'm so disappointed in phee for losing FOCUS i could write a whole post about it lmfaoo#i was defending you despite all your red flags for being someone who really really fights for your loved ones n now look at you#but it's delicious tragedy im glad he is caught up in this shit without actually knowing the full scope of jin's crimes#and i'm transferring my affections to new as the person who keeps his focus and keeps his fight#poor joker smiling orphan boy#poor guilty asthmatic smoker who THROWS AWAY HIS ENTIRE LIFE#everything he ever worked for everything his conditionally loving parents ever valued about him#to get some JUSTICE!! phee look at my man then look back at yourself#dead friend forever#dff spoilers#dff the series spoilers#dff
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Cuntiway they can never make me hate you
#confession#cc: couriway#so obsessed with this ask i wanted to draft it to keep it forever#mcytblrconfessions greatest shits
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see everyone worried and fretted and panicked and yet quesadilla island looked at pepito and went
#qsmp#qsmp pepito#this post is not about roier's parenting i PROMISE you don't need to defend your cubito#this is literally about pepito being bobbled between caretakers#bad etoiles foolish forever bagi pac and more that i just haven't seen#just. people who have shown an interest and desire to hang out with pepito and keep pepito safe#pepito went to find parents and look!! look!!!#listen. listen. to me the qsmp is about love. not mystery not roleplay not drama not plot.#the qsmp is at its ABSOLUTE best when it is People Talking To Each Other#purgatory was AMAZING for me as a bolas viewer bc if bolas was in the server THEY WERE IN A CALL they were CONSTANTLY talking and i THRIVED#people adopting each other into their fake families in the most middle school childlike wondrous form of love there is#when you like your friend so much they're your fake spouse. your fake child. your fake parent. your fake sibling.#eggs and parents that's LOVE tubbo and fred that's LOVE tazercraft and walter bob that's LOVE; cellbit and roier; phil and missa#baghera and bad and forever; bad and bagi; pierre and maxo; maxo and EVERYTHING his son his daughter his partner the theory bros#favela six that's LOVE LOOK AT THIS FUCKING SERVER EVEN ELENA WHO WE'VE KNOWN FOR AN HOUR IS ABOUT LOVE. HER PARTNER IS HER DRIVE.#jaiden's story is driven by LOVE the hole from the love of her son and chasing cucurucho's 'love' in return it's LOVE it's UNDERSTANDING#there's so much love and i'm biased to my povs but holy shit i will repeat it until y'all roll your eyes seeing me on the dash#like NOT THIS ANIME POWER OF FRIENDSHIP BULLSHIT AGAIN no i'm right u can't fight me#block game brainrot#shut up vic
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hey don't cry. the jeri/rys will never be able to share simple human intimacy. they'll never get to hold hands. why are you crying louder
#im so normal about them!!!!!#<- read one fic that changed his life forever#the axeman is like the minotaur to me#daedelus was locked up in the labyrinth he created yknow#(voice of a guy who is absolutely insane) have you thought about the implications#take my hand. make parallels and be crazy about religion being both the thing keeping them together and the thing driving them apart#boy jerry#girl jeri#nightmare time 2#abstinence camp#definite's ted talks#i could talk about them forever (this is a threat)#my friends are so lucky that they havent seen nightmare time that shit ruins you#you end up thinking about two incredibly repressed christians#im literally insane. do you understand do you understand do you understand do you understand do you understand do you understand do you und#no yeah im not gonna be able to do anything but think about them for a while
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tumblr is to moral ocd what tiktok is to adhd and post
#i gotta be careful what i see. the all or nothing thinking is rampant#its so exacerbated here i only follow like a couple ppl#even if i like someone's content i might not follow them bc if i see something that makes me Think too hard#i'll get stuck in a spiral and i Have to Keep Reading. so i check their shit manually when i can handle it.#even other soc blogs lol sorry guys love yall#anyway sorry i can't think about every issue always forever. no one can but especially not me#when you try to enjoy the internet but the tumblr environment makes your brain beat you with a stick yelling BAD EVIL BAD PERSON#epic crippling empathy moment#ocd mention#moral ocd#ocd scrupulosity#not soc#ocd
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this one's for all the yuri enjoyers out there — nsft under cut
meronia event prompt(s): scar
#death note#mello#near#meronia#meroniaevent#fem mello#fem near#i had fun w this one!! i love drawing yuri even though i dont do it nearly as much as i want lol#also i love drawing bush thumbs up emoji#i let the lines be messier bc my hands have been a little sore and i am not in the mood for linework#and in honor of yuri day i should get to do whatever i want forever peace and love on planet yuri#anyway i didnt know what to do w near's hair but decided to keep it short bc i didnt want to cover her back for composition reasons#sorry for posting so late i woke up at like 10am which is late for me as of late and had school shit to do boooo#also im in the mood to talk so i made a pot pie today (no meat im vegetarian) and i followed no recipes and used my heart to make#it and i did so well it fucks so hard my heart always leads me to greatness and recipes do nothing for me bc im a culinary genius#<-blatantly untrue but we stay silly#oh!!! and also i got a thing in the mail the thing being a weevil plushie i ordered a bit back that i bought on a whim that i should not#have bought bc im saving my money but actually he makes my life a million bajillion times better and i love him dearly#anyway meronia event is making my life so much better i feel 100% better than i did 2 days ago and hopefully the joy this brings#me will stay w me for long enough to get through the rest of my summer classes bc they are killing me lol. my current ones are ending#in like a week or smth but i have 2 more in july *sobs* all this just to graduate a semester early#k anyway enjoy the yuri ...or dont. im not the boss of u. ig
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