#i keep expecting it to fall off
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celestialscribbler · 2 years ago
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OMG WITHOUT GIVING AWAY ANY SPOILERS WHAT HAS BEEN YOUR FAVORITE PART ABOUT DOING PIP IN TIME? 😁😄😃😀
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This project has been so much fun, from designing the layouts, figuring out juicy plot points and weaving them into a bigger narrative or just indulging in my wittebane brain rot but thinking about characterization makes me absolutely feral (actual discord message shared above). The show only gives us snippets of who Phillip and Caleb were at this age so there's a lot of room to decide what makes them tick and lead them down the canon path they ended up on. What makes people the way they are, what makes them change, mind games, poor communication, how siblings influence each other and how new environments can enforce or modify thought patterns, how they'd react to the unexpected and why. And it's not like i really overthink every scene like this but when it comes together it's just so satisfying. I may not always be the best at conveying what I have in mind, and it took me a minute (all of chapter 1) to figure out what i wanted to do with Caleb, but thinking about character is the best.
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thriftybruce · 2 months ago
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Script Below the Cut:
SCRIPT:
Panel 1:
Stan: Who do you think you are?! Coming to my- FORD'S shack and talking all this crap behind her back? Only I get to do that!
Panel 2:
Fiddleford: You know damn well I'm right! She was a damn fool to keep tinkerin' with that- THAT THING!
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souenkun · 7 months ago
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Pokémon Masters EX spoilers ahead!
Kabu likes to play TAG with his pokemon... and he's shown to have a much softer side beneath his strictness in pokemas too... he's so grandpa-shaped to me 😭💖
#you guys have to know that today has been an eventful day for me. like... non-stop serotonin because I got one good news after another#(i celebrated my ultimate ship's day + speed-run and sacrificed sleep to post 2 fics for today's sake + successfully bought prints of said#ship with two of my bird app friends + successfully secured a birthday cafe event for a character in my city where i can meet said friends)#like. my heart was in OVERDRIVE 😭😭😭 adding kabu to the lodge has me falling off the bed from how much i giggled and rolled on it 😭😭😭#i need to replay swsh but i swear he wasn't this gentle and caring in the games 😭💗 like this scary old grandpa is actually very soft 🥺🫶#my head is spinning from thinking about how good his gym trainers' morales are with him keeping it up. or how he must be well-loved in#motostoke for not just being an encouraging gym leader but also an approachable and kind citizen. no wonder nessa and milo regularly hangs#out with kabu and that he and raihan are tor-colleagues 😭😭😭 he's actually so earnest in showing that he cares for others with each line#ossan you have to tell me which of your pokemon plays tag the best!!! and is that how you wind down after training!!! 😭💗#giving pokemas writers a big smooch on their foreheads because they're so genius for this man. yes it is a cash grab but they're doing kabu#sooo much justice too with each of his appearance... like yeah take my gems for once! you actually did a splendid job for my favorite ojisa#i don't know if i'm just still a 6 y.o girlie loving kazuhiko inoue's kakashi or i'm just itching for familial tenderness but man. he's suc#a comfort character to me now... i didn't expect that in 2024 but i'm grateful i could pull him and enjoy talks with this ossan now 🥺🫶#gym leader kabu#pokemon kabu#pokemon sword and shield#pokemon swsh#pokemon masters ex#pokemas#pmex#pokemon masters ex spoilers#pmex spoilers#pokemas spoilers#swsh#galar#pasio#trainer lodge
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kissingarthurclaus · 5 months ago
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Concept sketch of my new JJBA self insert and her stand, BellaDonna (who will eventually be known as Madonna). Inspired by the song 'Like a Prayer' by...well, Madonna! @sapphire-heart-tippy
(lore dump under the cut, TW for mentions of animal injury and religious trauma)
My self insert (who will also go by Jane) grew up in a deeply religious family and tried to be a good jehovah's witness child that made her parents proud.
One day, she comes up with the power to heal various injuries and ailments, almost to the point of being able to revive the dead. She figures she's given this power by the lord himself and vows to do good with it, but when she's found using them to heal a bird that had been wounded by a cat, her mother falls into hysterics thinking that she MUST be possessed by the devil to have such abilities.
She's punished and shunned by her community while her mother prays for a cure and though she tries to repent her power doesn't seem to go away, so eventually her mother snaps and drags her into the wilderness and attempts to throw her to the bottom of an old well.
Her Stand, which had previously not manifested physically, appears then to cushion her fall and eventually she manages to pull herself out of the well with her Stand's help, who she now believes to be a guardian angel. But not wanting to return home, she runs away to face the world alone, growing jaded and bitter over time. She loses all of her faith, and the power to heal inverts itself, becoming a sort of poison. Something that LEECHES life, rather than heal it.
When she's an adult (my age irl so 25 I guess) she's made her way by becomes a bounty hunter/assassin using her Stand and eventually catches the attention of Dio. Who takes her in and explains to her what her Stand REALLY is, promising to teach her how to properly wield those powers if she agrees to serve him. She reluctantly takes his offer, but starts to see him as a familial figure, since no one else had ever tried to nurture or even accept her gift. Dio is the one who giver her Stand the name BellaDonna, after the deadly plant!
#artfarts#self insert#self ship#self insert art#jojo self insert#jojo oc#jjba#jjba oc#jjba part 3#stardust crusaders#jojo's bizarre adventure#and of course wehehehe she meets polnareff and they eventually get together!!#so...i actually kinda forgot that polnareff actually ALSO starts off as an agent of dio 😂😂 with the mind control thing#idk just HOW influential the buds can be. he seems to retain his personality and it just sorta...dictates his morality#and also does whatever dio says. so when he DOES get mind probed by dio my s/i is already his agent#and what im saying is even when they meet THEN hes flirty as hell and immediately interested in her#cause OFC he is thats his personality 😂😂 its his nature hes french#and ofc we know he gets the bud removed and he joins the main cast so im trying to figure out how jane fits in!!#i definitely dont think she joins or turns immediately#i think they capture her first to CHECK for a bud and when they dont find it theyre like...well what now#pol wont let them kill her so they just sorta drag her along and over time she starts to have a change of heart#i think she expects dio to send someone after her or to save her himself but when other agents keep coming and trying to kill her TOO#she realizes he never really cared about her at all#blah blah angsty stuff aside she starts seeing who polnareff truly is and starts falling for him too!!#ok ive rambled enough here if u read all of this mwah im kissing ur forehead 🫶🫶🫶#🩶 just like a prayer 🩶
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michameinmicha · 1 month ago
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Im very into lavender these days but not in the woo woo 'this will fix my sleep problems and all other issues' pseudoscience way, it's just that i really love the smell and it's very comforting to me, which i can use a lot of right now so i try to surround myself with it as much as possible 💜
#lavender smells like how it feels to get home after a long day in the cold qnd you get to take off your wet clothes and put on soft pyjamas#and you can just get cozy in your warm bed and novidy expects anything else from you tonight no responsibilities no chores#you get to just be warm and safe and fall asleep#also bubble baths because iwe alsway had this lavender bubble bath when i was a kid and i loved it so much (i always tried to eat the foam#or rather i wanted to eat the smell itself but the closest i could get was the foam... yes it tasted bad) and i still love it a lot#oh also my best friend who ive known since kindergarten would always use this lavender oil (instead of like body lotion) after showers#(bit they changed the bottles a few years back so now they are like half the size which is ridiculous)#(we spent holidays together for years) and they still use it today but i dont get to smell it as much but that also makes me feel nostalgic#anyway lavender is amazing and i wish i could just drink that bubble bath fluid and get that cozy feeling inside of me that way#(im trying to find a tea that has mostly lavender but its not easy. most also have other stuff that i dont like... but ill keep looking!)#oh and i recently bought this lavender shower gel and that is so wonderful for a shower at night!!!#hey if any europeans wanna recommend any good (not suuuuper expensive) lavender products i could check out please tell me#winter is kicking my ass and i need anything i can get to cheer me up and comfort me#alright enough rabling#i just bought a tea i wanna try thats why i was thinking about it#mine
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milfbrainrot · 21 days ago
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i feel like i type so much more than is reasonable when i do talk to people but i also don't get to socialize a ton so i just have soooo many words in me and if i'm like, tired or short on time, it is so much harder to restrain to the already-pushing-it point i can sometimes manage ;-;
#txt#i am used to posting long things that are essentially a conversation with myself because i either don't#want to bother others with certain topics or i just am used to anything i have to say really being... worth saying...#so i will sometimes go back and add more tags because i'm still thinking about it after the fact and the gap in time where someone#would have said something to prompt further thought is just. me continuing it with myself. bc i'm still thinking about it.#and then that translates into how i talk to other people where i sometimes feel like i either have too much to say without only#keeping what's of utmost relevant importance#(which is also due to me knowing if i don't say it Right Now Immediately i will forget if it does become relevant again)#so i am expecting people to read too much#and/or i then am not... listening to people? or i come off like im not listening to people?#even though i rly do try to be attentive i just forget sometimes to leave space for other people to talk because i am#used to only talking to myself so much lmaoo so i think i come off like i only want to Talk At people due to how Much i share#and sometimes i probably am not as attentive in convos as i would like to be but i try to be! i just dont know if the balance is there#but i also don't rly know how to be more concise bc of that mix of not wanting to forget and also not wanting to be misunderstood#and being so excited to get contribute etc#anyway there are also a lot of social things i HAVE been neglecting by accident i am so sorry if youve sent me an ask etc#and you've gotten silence i am getting to things slowly ;-;#i just mean moreover in active conversations the way that i act is like. i always worry i am doing something wrong all the time forever#and maybe i would worry less if i could put more of my thought dump energy into observing others more attentively#to get a better read on things lol#me coming back to this post as an example bc i had another thought:#i also type rly fast and my brain goes rly fast so while i do clean up what i say typically#others might find it more convenient to be more concise due to typing slower#whereas i don't think before i type i just type as i think one to one#i lose thoughts otherwise but Thinking Before I Speak is a lost art to me rip#but then if i am talking to people irl or on voice i am so much more reserved. i ramble a lot!!#but it's easier for me to fall back
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cherry-treelane · 4 months ago
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everytime i feel bad and stressed about my life i remember that i might be in a troubling situation and having a bad time but im not season 4 fiona gallagher in the clink after leaving crack on the counter which my 3 year old baby brother happened to ingest resulting in a fatal near-death experience thats wracked me with never-ending guilt and forever altered my life
#this storyline was stupid you expect me to believe two-apples-tall liam gallagher came close to the crack AND managed to ingest it?#the crack which is lined up on the kitchen counter?#Also i don't believe that fiona would be irresponsible enough for liam to have been able to be close to the crack#that was an ooc moment and not like “its ooc cause thats the point shes going thru a tough time”#morelike “so ooc that it seems like a discrepancy that was overlooked for the sake of drama and shock value#as an older sister i feel like being watchful of your younger sibling if crack is in their general vicinity is an unstoppable instinct#its just not a plausible situation sorry like this is coming from someone who wholeheartedly embraces the realistic idea#of fiona falling short sometimes and being very human by struggling to consistently maintain her doting attentiveness#but anyways it's complicated cause Fiona clearly put it somewhere he cant reach#so how did he get access to it????#its like getting mad at a parent for putting a glass of wine on the counter#not comparing that to literal cocaine obviously this whole situation was nonetheless messed up#but just for some perspective... the writers were clearly doing cocaine themselves if they thought that#liam was bungee-jumping onto the counter and showing off his skills as an apparent budding olympics gymnast#not justifying anything but. listen.#the fact that it was on the counter FOR A REASONNN shows that fiona was careful to keep it out of reach and NOT do something insane like#putting it on the table#liam somehow magically having access to it defeats the purpose of it being on the counter.#if they really wanted for it to be believable that liam managed to snort it they should've put it on the table#but we already know that situation wouldn't be believable in its entirety cause we know that fiona would literally never leave it there#WHICH IS MY POINT. LIKE THIS SITUATION IS JUST ANNOYINGLY UNBELIEVABLE. FIONA WOULD NOT DO THIS AND HOW DID LIAM EVEN GET TO IT??#theres like 39482939 overlooked discrepancies just for the sake of getting to the shock#just to circle back Fiona would literally never let liam go near crack no matter how far gone and fucked up she was#I KNOW THIS BECAUSE I AM AN OLDER SISTER.#its just so UGHHHHH anyways obviously i still think in canon yeah Fiona was at fault shouldve been more careful and watchful#no matter how you look at it its clear that a risk like this just cannot be taken and she had to be blamed to an extent#but me personally? i reject it because it didnt feel natural to me at all there were 394939 other ways to frame a Fiona downfall#And i loved all the other ways her spiral was shown like getting messed up and ending up in Sheboygan#all the shit she got into with robbie + the impulsive urge to ruin the good thing she had going with mike#so human and believable and deeply flawed unlike the liam situation which was horrifically OOC and unrealistic
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sysig · 2 months ago
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Promises promises (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#Max Vyer#Dexter Favin#The kisses yearning......it has returned.........#They're just so cute I can't help it hweh#Kisses on the cheek are harder to refute than on the mouth haha - just for a second! Just to be close! Just to show how much ♥#He wanted to fight about it but it's not like there's anything he can say that he Also doesn't want#Forever <3 Promise#And then they can't fulfill that promise wehh#More kisses ♪ Ostensibly for practice because I can always use the practice - I just like them together!!#I love when Max is just plastered against him and Dex holds him so carefully haha - he /is/ stronger than Max but still#Max sticks to him so much#Dresses! Probably drag/cross dressing but mm?#On top of ZEX wearing a dress that one time(?) presumably because gendered human fashion doesn't cross the translation barrier#I've been thinking about the Helix duo as ladies off and on too hmm#I keep going back and forth on Ladyverse!Helix like - with the Vargases it's easy? How their designs are different and The Implications™#So much to think about - and it's not like L!Helix lacks that by any means! But everyone's already so pretty so there's that lol#Max is androgynous and Dexter is beautiful like they'd just look like themselves lol#Presumably there'd be Some physical differences but I really wonder by how much! And how they'd be expected to act or grow into#For now it's just appreciating the pretties <3 Because they are they're so pretty! However they are they're beautiful <3#Dex's dress is fun hehe ♪ He Could wear it covering his leg but a brief pose that lets it peek out isn't so bad hehehe#Max is very much giving Junior Prom haha <3 He's too cute#Honestly I just really really needed to see him in that front/collar/spaghetti straps style it's so cute and I feel like it suits him#I'm not sure what it is exactly but the fabric falling forward on his chest is just - correct?? It Feels Correct#And last one of an idea I haven't been able to shake since starting on plush Max as a project haha#I Want to give him a whole closet of clothes but I also don't want him to be naked for long! And what's the easiest type of clothing to make#Imagining him in a pretty white or light yellow sundress.......swishing and twirling and being cute and happy........ahhh...........#He deserves to feel the prettiest and sparkliest and specialest because he is ♥
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talkorsomething · 4 months ago
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Actually i feel like my voice goals are not that unreasonable since the people i get jealous of the most really are my age or older
......
Well, reasonable though they may be, realistic is another matter
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#trans#trans ftm#transmasc#my dad has a pretty deep natural singing voice and SO DO I so i expect i'd end up sounding like him :/#it pisses me off to no end that there's just some innate quality that cis men's voices have that i can't imitate; no matter how low or open#*how low or open i try to push my voice#well - i actually do sort of know because i've stumbled over it a time or two#it's not just keeping like.. the space in your throat open#it's a completely different way of moving your mouth around and it feels a) weird as all hell and b) bad for my jaw somehow?#the unfair part is by the time i feel safe starting hormones it'll be past the window where it's normal to want to sound like that ...#i don't actually have that unusually deep a voice i just .... fucked it up a little i think. for singing anyways.#this too pisses me off cause why do i gotta be Obviously Weird in gender BUT no voice to help that assumption along#i dunno anyways. consult coming up and i CAN pay for it i HAVE the money but hough surgery itself is all up in the air until then#i already know i won't have enough but...... i really could pay it off in about a year#ESPECIALLY if i get either more hours or get commissions#i can do it ... i know i can it's just scary to have the prospect of it all falling down on me#due to the fact that this is my first major medical procedure Ever#and i am soso anxious about money#i mustn't spend on little treats..... even if i can... even if i have more than enough money......
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i3utterflyeffect · 11 months ago
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anyway since i can't share art anymore then. maybe i'll actually like... try to work on my writing. we'll have to see
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memorys-skyscraper · 12 days ago
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fuck the new year, everyone say happy birthday ichiban kasuga!!!!!
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silverselfshippingchaos · 2 months ago
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ugghhh wintertime sucks!! I'm sad and tired and sad all the time.. I need a nap.. and f/o cuddles.. and another nap..
#ash rambles 💚#negative#part of it is definitely the weather#it's so dark and dreary and i never wanna leave my bed#but also just. my mood akdjajs I'm kinda down in the dumps today#im recovering from being sick which always fucks me up#and i just cant shake this feeling of anxiety..? and i feel kinda a lot like my f/os wouldnt like me or would fall out of love or never see#me as more than a friend and other stuff like that#i.. actually got broken up with yesterday irl!#it wasnt messy. he said that this isnt what he wanted and it was fine and we're back to being pals. i wasnt sad at all in the moment and#i dont think i am now..? it's weird. we were laughing like always literal minutes after having the chat. when we got together we said that#if things domt work out we wanna keep being friends. and we're doing just that. honestly i saw it coming and idek if i LOVE him anymore#what even does love feel like..? regardless I'm not upset or sad at my breakup since i saw it coming and I'm honestly happy he just. Talked#to me about it. we communicated and then three minutes later went back to talking about x.enoblade LMAAOO it was fun!#but it is ridiculous for me to expect to feel NOTHING at no longer being in a relationship. i cant just feel nothing. i dont feel sad per s#just... in my thoughts i guess? I don't think the feeling of my f/os not liking me stems from me being dumped though. i think thats just me#being me sjdjaksj I'm very insecure a lot of the time. i dont think being dumped helpd very much though LMAAAOO#I'm doing okay i promise. and I'll be alright. theres just both a lot and nothing going on at the same time and i feel... idk what i feel.#i hope my f/os love me 😭 i hope that a lot#and honestly i know this community is ass and I'm more than happy in my own corner with my couple of followers but. ngl I've really felt as#though I'm not valued here and all that junk as of late. yeah just.. i think everything is happening at the same time and I'm tired and#i feel like I'm a confused kiddo who doesnt know anything anymore BAHAHAHA#holy shit it just sounds like i need a shower and a nap huh- I'll be alright I'm just. dealing with stuff akdjsks but i also hate to always#bring the mood down like this! i always try my best to be haha silly and all that shit. I'm just gonna try to daydream about f/o cuddles#(and try to convince myself they dont hate me ofc)#oh and. i know i mentioned this but. i hate the weather. so much. I'm sad all the time. November is actually my least favorite month too 😭#I've gotta study a lot today and I'll try to sneak in some k.urohyou and hopefully start watching monster too but yeah i apolgize if#I'm acting off these days ajdjajs I'm very stuck in my own mind these days. not exactly the most fun place to be 😭#delete later#i mean akdjajs i literally started crying the other day because my friend said that my husband (k.yohei) loves me ajdkahdb come on ash..
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chaoticeddie · 2 months ago
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y'all I knew my fellow student was a t**** supporter but like. she's a SUPPORTER supporter
#she fell off the cadillac and hit her head#and the third student is a nurse so she was asking her all the usual questions#and she went 'who's the president'#and this bitch goes 'trump elect. but. biden right now.'#like girl you just hit your head why is it still so far up his ass that that's your answer#anyway the student who hit her head and the student who's a nurse and our instructor all went to the ER#so I'm here just waiting for them to come back#btw this is the same student who told me that it must be nice to have a brain that remembers things#cause I keep doing well on our tests and she's not#she's in her 50s I think and she was in a car accident like 40 years ago and that's her entire personality#she barely puts in any effort for studying and then blames it on lingering effects from the accident#and listen I totally understand that not everyone can study in the same way and it's gonna be way harder for some people than others#I also understand that I'm lucky in that I work at this pilates studio so instead of making a trip to the studio to self practice#I can just stay an hour later and practice then#like it does make it easier#but she self practices like once a week for like 30 minutes and then reads over her book and expects to do well on the tests#like girl don't make weird remarks at me about how my brain just magically remembers things#as if I'm not studying my ass off cause I care about this class#also like I really hope she's okay I do but it is a MIRACLE that it took this long for her to fall
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orcelito · 4 months ago
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Sasuke is Out! Sasuke is Doing things! What will Sasuke do?! I have no idea!!! I've never gotten this far in the story before, so I have no idea how things are going from here!!!! But Sasuke is Loose!!!!!!
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Quoting this post to myself as I see Sasuke walking around and doing things. I haven't seen this guy do anything in like a hundred episodes. It's so exciting
#speculation nation#fanny watches naruto#it's so sweet seeing Suigetsu and Jugo trying to find Sasuke again#meanwhile Karin is under lock and key. yet shes playing with their expectations to her advantage#her pretending to be just the stupid sasuke obsessed girl to make them not pay attention to her#to let her keep the picture that actually contains some fucking lockpicks. crafty af#and her GLASSES??? the arm of her glasses is hiding a little secret knife?!?!! thats so cool karin wtf#i love when shes shown to be capable like this. like her sasuke fangirling was real. before.#but idk about now after he tried to kill her. he does Not deserve to keep her affections after that for Sure.#but shes still using the act. making people underestimate her. so crafty. like fuck yeah you go you funky little outlaw#i do love that shes genuinely a bitch. i hated her when i was younger bc i hated sasuke#and the fangirling still does annoy me. but shes also more than the fangirling.#shes so COOL when shes not obsessing over sasuke. i wanna see more of her!!!!!#unfortunately now i have to go back to this shit ass kage fight. really boring to me. now that sasuke's out i dont caaaaaare#it's just a bunch of OP ninja throwing rocks and shit at each other. madara literally dropped Two giant fucking meteors on the battlefield#like it was just one and it was a huge deal but tsuchikage and gaara stopped it. yay!!#but then it was such a Gradeschooler One Upping You moment where madara was like. Heh. well actually. theres Two.#and the 2nd one falls on the first and kills a bunch of people etc etc like come onnnn this isnt even fun anymore#we're just committing massive ecological damage all around#also killer bee literally PURPOSEFULLY clearing a massive section of forest for the sake of visibility#NONE of these ninja care about the environment!!!!! those poor trees and creatures!!!!!!#anytime theres some kind of poison something and they show it off by having birds or whatever die like#STOP!!!! youre killing the environment!!!!! stop it!!!!!!!!!#anyways what a show. the more ridiculously massive the fight gets the less fun it is to watch.#why should i care about guys throwing boulders at each other. Boringggg show me some people punching the shit outta each other.#THE TAIJUTSU!!!! WHERES THE TAIJUTSU!!!!! STOP WITH UR OP NINJA MAGIC SHOW ME TAIJUTSU!!!!!!!!#i also really want to see itachi. where is he. sasuke's loose now i know he teams up with itachi Where Is He....#LETS GET SOME UCHIHA UP IN THIS BITCH!!!! madara get ur pasty ass out of here and tobi stick your head in a toilet#only the uchiha BROTHERS here get those old guys OUTTA HEREEEEEEE#anywyas i actually folded some laundry while watching. wild. having fun rn
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criscura · 1 year ago
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I wish I wasn't so exhausted and I could make more art.... I even planned out a whole prompt-a-day month for Saigenos/Genosai, TWICE, but the first time no one seemed like they could participate when I asked about it, and the second time I friggin lost the damned plan. I could remake it a third time, but I just....I don't know.
I've been really struggling to get along for a while, and I think if it didn't hit it off--or even if I just got really productive and it seemed like I was reaching crickets--I'd be so incredibly discouraged that it would bring me down even further. It usually takes my stuff a few months to a year to get reach, and that really doesn't do anything for me when I need the support immediately.
It's not that I don't have a billion ideas for so many different things, but my battery has been taking longer and longer to charge up and it's been running out faster and faster, and it's been like this for....a year?? Ish?? Maybe longer, I don't know.
I wish I could just stop needing so much fucking time to bounce back.....
#written from my bed as I'm almost crying from exhaustion and hopelessness#I'm PMSing and I had a really tiring day so i know this feels worse than normal#but when you've been struggling to fall asleep for months because waking up means being disappointed in yourself#for everything you failed to do the day before and everything you know you're going to fail to do again today#it's really hard not to feel like shit about yourself#trying to be constantly hopeful but never living up to your expectations#and then the few times that you do you completely crash for days#and then the only way to not crash is to have your big accomplishment be 'i went to the gym' 'i took a shower' 'i answered a message'#and just. again#to have the be the way you're living for months and months and months#it's so embarrassing to admit how little i can do and it makes me so ashamed knowing how much I've done and see what everyone else around me#is constantly doing#and then when i do share things it just kind of dies off because I've been too exhausted to maintain most relationships#which ALSO makes me feel like absolute fucking shit because i think people think i just don't care about them#when it's really that it takes me hours to get out of bed and I'm lucky if i remember to eat before 4#and I hate so much of myself and see it as such a huge waste of time that it uses up almost all the energy i have to take care of myself#but if i don't do it I'll just hate myself even more#i know i keep on complaining about this but I'm. I'm trying to fix it#i have BEEN trying to fix it actively for so fucking long#but it's.....i think I've stopped believing anything i do has significant worth and it makes it hard to keep trying#and i know people will read this and say take something for it but when you're only interactions with medications and drugs#are one experience that scarred you so bad you didn't go to the doctors for ten years and one experience so bad#that you couldn't even explain it at first without HARDCORE disassociating#it's hard to convince yourself that anything will ever be any better and that it won't make everything intensely worse for years
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rivilu · 1 year ago
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Rip to the Emperor, just got rejected 3 times in a row in increasingly more painful ways
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