#i just want to get approved so i can actually do the thing and then i can make at least a little money and not completely lose my mind

[confusedlamp]

I don't disagree with the general point and instruction of looking critically at studies and surveys that claim higher rates of mental illness or neurodiversity amongst trans people. Who is in contact with psychiatrists absolutely throws a wrench into trends of mental illness diagnosis.

However, I would encourage you to dig into the details of each study. Look into what exactly was measured and what is actually being claimed. A well designed study will try to account for some of the problems you have pointed out. Good papers will also acknowledge what they couldn't account for.

Things I think about under the cut, if you want to know what I mean.

How did they define mental illness? Did they look at formal diagnosises? Did they simply ask, "Have you ever been diagnosed with [x]?" Or did they evaluate participants for symptoms of mental illness? If they looked at symptoms, what questions were used?***

What did the study compare rates of mental illness in trans people to? Was it the rates in the general population according to another study (and was that study conducted similarly, is it comparable)? Or did they also give cis people the same evaluation? If so, are they comparing cis and trans people who have similar characteristics (ethnicity, socioeconomic class, geographic location, age, etc)? Is it a comparison of the same trans people over time?

Furthermore, how did they find participants? Were ads placed at locations that may add confounding factors or limit the applicability to the overall population? Was it a survey given out at a common location (high schools, for example)?

What exactly is being claimed (by the scientists or by anyone citing the study)? Are they claiming they know *the* cause of the trend? Or just a possible contributing factor? Proving a causal mechanism is very hard and isn't always possible, (conducting a randomized controlled double blind study doesn't really work here). Because of that uncertainty, a lot of studies will phrase it like "The results suggest that [X] may be a factor in [Y]."

Or are they just claiming a trend? Is it for all trans people or only a subset? Sometimes the subset of trans people the trend applies to can hint at causes or possible solutions. For example, a study could find that mental illness symptoms are only higher in trans people without access to transition related health care.

***I want to acknowledge that any survey can be screwed up due to lying. If, for example, older people are less likely to admit to having various depression symptoms that they do have, it could screw up any comparison you were doing looking at depression across age groups. Confidential written surveys (as opposed to verbal questions from an interviewer) can help minimize embarrassment, but it doesn't fix the problem. The best thing would be some sort of test for a mental illness, but that doesn't really exist, as far as I know. We just have to go off what people tell us.

*****Complete side note: I am not sure where you are from, or even if you meant it in the way I am reading it, but in the US a psychiatrist isn't required by law for surgery or HRT. Some doctors and surgeons will still require a psychiatrist's approval and it is sometimes needed to get coverage from health insurance. However, some clinics operate off informed consent. The doctor evaluates you and your health, like they would for going on any other non-pscyh med, talks to you about risks/ benefits, and then you can take the medication. I get my HRT from Planned Parenthood this way.

something that should be taken with a grain of salt are the statistics talking about the high rates of mental illness + neurodivergence among trans people (ocd, bpd, adhd, autism, etc)

I see both sides of the political spectrum taking these studies at face value - conservatives say we're broken, and trans people try to come up with reasons why for example autism + gender dysphoria makes sense and why one of them feeds into another

at the end of the day you have to remember that we're the one category of people on this planet who are legally required to go see a psychiatrist in order to receive non-psychiatric medication and surgeries.

more trans people are in therapy by law than any other demographic of people, and as a result, this captures more comorbidities.

if I had to look at my own family & rates of mental illness?

mom, dad, 2 maternal aunts, maternal grandmother, paternal grandmother, sister, sibling, and me all have OCD.

7/9 of them are cishet, never been to therapy, never diagnosed. 2/9 are trans, required therapy for hormone treatment, and were diagnosed.

you don't have to do any math to just see that the resulting statistics end up intensely skewed.

and we can think back to how autism was virtually never diagnosed more than 50 years ago - ruling out any grandparents being included in statistics - and even my parents' generation (they're in their 60s now) wouldn't have been included either.

I don't think it's to anyone's benefit to accept these studies uncritically. a lot of these things are hereditary and far more prevalent in the overall population than people realize

[mortalaura]

It keeps me up at night thinking about how Illario shouldn't be First Talon because he's done anything wrong (by Crow standards) but because he's doing everything RIGHT.

This is just me connecting dots from various story sources but all the information we have on him suggests that he does what (current time) Crows do to absolute perfection down to a T. He's cunning, he lies, he seduces, he cheats, he gets the job done no matter the cost. He's ambitious and is playing the system the way it's intended.

Caterina is an interesting phenomenon because we can assume she has been First Talon and alive for so many damn years (kinda scary strong ngl lmao), which means she has witnessed an incredible amount of change, and I do believe she wants to steer the Crows back to their somewhat freedom fighter form from the past - by trying to unite them to fight for a better cause, like defending Antiva from the Antaaam invasion (Eight Little Talons). But she's also aging and needs someone to continue this fight for her. Lucanis meanwhile is a rather soft personality for a Crow Assassin, and while not perfect, his morality compass is pretty strong - he refuses to kill the elf girl who spots them in Wigmaker Job because it would just be killing an (already downtrodden) innocent - while Illario encourages him to clean up and leave no witnesses (the practical, correct choice from an Assassin pov).

Teia even comments that Illario is a good assassin but Lucanis' jobs tend to have so many more fires to put out than the regular and I believe it's because he always makes things harder for himself in order to spare as many collaterals as possible. So what I imagine happened is that Illario in trying to get as much of his grandmother's approval (just as much as Lucanis) has done everything RIGHT in an effort to please her and prove he's got what it takes, but he can never win because it's never what Caterina intended, and honestly that's so tragic to me. He was playing the game right all along but it was an entirely different game. (The ultimate line crossed was him sacrificing Lucanis for his ambition, and doing so because it's what's expected. I do not believe Illario to be as one note as he ended up in the game at all, I think he actually does genuinely care about Lucanis except for the fact that Crows need to be prepared to make the right sacrifice for the job and love cannot play a part in that - see Zevran's polycule.)

[somuchbetterthanthat]

Sometimes I truly want to sit into the Elias and Jon's dynamics pre-archives/Season 1 because (nottobepettyaboutpeoplewhoassumesjonautomaticallydislikeseliasfor???) I feel like it informs SO MUCH of how they behave later on. They clearly already have some sort of relationship that's based on both respect, freedom and guidance and, I feel, conversations.

"He's not smoking again, is he?" implies that Elias is not only aware Jon used to be a smoker, but has been at least involved in a periphical manner to Jon /stopping/ smoking, and approving of it. (Which, yes, drives me insane. We need so much more jonelias fics where Elias takes,, an active role in helping Jon stop that particular habit)

The fact the very first words that Jon adresses to the tape recorders are for Elias; that he's already discussed with him the problematic statements at all!

Jon acknowledging that Elias is the most knowledgeable man when it comes to the paranormal, which! again! I see so little people talk about but is a clear expression of Jon recognizing and admiring Elias's skills in his particular domain! AND is possibly the reason why he keeps coming back to him later on (and other people). Elias just! knows his stuff. And possibly he used to share a bit more with Jon :').

I don't know, the mere fact that Elias is like "Jon, we got a complain about you" and Jon only snarks "Fine, I'll be more lovely" and it's the end of it is insane to me. I know Elias IS known to be a passive boss, but EVEN SO. The freedom that's given to Jon, all along! Wild and beautiful.

Them flirting over Jon's birthday cake. I can see the scene. Their eyeing each other like they're two seconds away from kissing and everybody else has a moment of "oh, god, please don't, why do you make things uncomfy"

I don't know what this post is actually about, just. Elias and Jon. Getting along. From day one. JON ACTUALLY LIKING AND ADMIRING HIM. Yknow.

[winterzxsoldierz]

Home Alone In The Avenger's Tower

Reader x Hydra agents

Authors Note: I was watching Home Alone earlier and wanted to make a one shot inspired off of it, Marvel style, in this you are Loki's kid, yes i said it, and the Avengers are not gonna be around for this one sadly, but hydra will and that meant fun for you, don't be too sad the avengers will come at the end. Warnings: Pranks, a lot of sadistic pranks, and blood, language Steve wouldn't approve of. Side note:I wanted to bring Christmas a bit early and add some glorious purpose to it. Reader is Female and around 17 & 18

The day started out normal, you waking up and doing anything a relatively normal person would do, brushing teeth and getting yourself together, the team had to go on a emergency mission on Christmas Eve, which had you a little bummed because you were actually starting to like them, your father said they weren't that bad and you agree.

Walking into the kitchen, you stop and smirk, and magically you conjure a full plate of breakfast out onto the table in front of you "Ha, beat that Sam." you murmur to yourself smugly. you take a seat down and begin to eat breakfast, you turn on the tv as well, watching the Grinch, Bucky's twin you called him. After breakfast you wander around the tower snooping around Tony's lab, touching things you have no business touching, you then find Tony's music playlist and grin, that's when you find it, the perfect song to blast around now that you're alone, Master Of Puppets by Metallica, and you ask his A.I F.R.I.D.A.Y to turn it on the common room loud speakers, and around the tower, you sing and dance without a care in the world, hell you even conjure your own electric guitar.

(Sun down) Hours had passed since the sun was up and there you sat on the couch with a tub of ice cream in your lap, with a spoon bigger than your mouth in your hands, "Merry Christmas you filthy animal." you imitate Kevin in the movie as you watch him quote the guy he's watching on his tv. (Meanwhile) Brock Rumlow creeps up the steps of the Avenger's level of the tower, and signals his buddy Grant Ward, to follow him, Rumlow felt a bit smug knowing that the Avengers were gone for the day and probably the night as well, he had it all figured out and Alexander Pierce would definitely be proud when he comes back with juicy information...But little did he know he was in for a rude awakening. A sudden crash awakens you from your power snooze and you look around noting the quiet, the television had cut off itself and the common room was only brightened by the Christmas lights and tree, your eyes narrow in suspension since you knew the team weren't home yet, and it definitely wasn't Peter because he would have texted you, you hear voices, whisper shouting to each other, it was definitely two men, none of who voices you knew, so activating your invisibility you began to your search.

Upon reaching Tony's lab next to the file room you see them, and your eyes widen, now you had two options call for help or handle things yourself, and you thought what the hell, 'I'm a god, i don't need it.'

Purposely you make yourself visible again and play scared child, both of the agents come up to you but you run and of course there's a little evil smirk on your lips. "Hey F.R.I.D.A.Y lock any source of exits in the tower for anyone who isn't me or the Avengers." you yell. and you slip into your fathers room.

(POV:Hydra's)

"What the fuck? Brock you said the place was empty! Grant exclaimed in annoyance, Brock shrugs and glares "How was i supposed to know there'd be a Teenager here?" Brock argues trying to defends himself, Grant rolls his eyes "For you to be the leader of the strike team you sure act like an obnoxious dick on a stick." Grant glowers. "Let's just find the girl." Brock grumbles and walks off "Besides, what can one girl do to us?" Brock yells cockily.

Running into the kitchen you go into the pantry and pull out some popcorn, you rip open the bag and lay out some kernels on the ground, you then grab a bottle of olive oil and pour it down on the ground of the kitchen and common room entrance, but you pour enough where it'll lead them into a large pool of green paint you conjured into the common room area. plan one was already in motion.

"Hey Brock i think i found- oh shit." Grant yelps as he trips forward on the kernels only to slip quicker on the oil, "Uh-oh" the words leave him as he tips over into the pool of green paint with a wet splash. All you do is smirk in the back ground and teleport to where Rumlow is heading.

"Where is that little bitch?" Brock growls and makes his way down the hall towards the file room and instead of meeting the room he falls, through a portal and he falls for about 30 minutes before you eventually let him fall into the paint pool next to his buddy.

Both Brock and Grant look at each other in confusion, before both of them get out the pool, but you have other plans for them. Teleporting the men into the training room, you have them held up against Clint arrow dart board and you speak into the intercom completely invisible to the men you speak "Ladies and Gentlemen, today we have two continents up on stage today to play a game of human darts, our weapon of choice, daggers!" you say excitedly, "But firstly let's give a boo for our gentlemen up on stage for being pussy's for making a move when my family aren't home. BOOO." you murmur dryly and in a wicked tone you speak. "Let's began."

With you still invisible you step into the room, handful of Bucky's daggers in hand, you watch in amusement as the men look around clearly worried about if you're around or not, but who cares.

You start by flipping the dagger in your hand and the swish the dagger fly's right by Grant's arm and plunges right into the board next to him, and then you throw another making a yelp leave him as it lands right by his head, you laugh. Then you turn to Brock, a look of distaste on your face, this guy creeped you out more than you like to admit, you throw not one but two daggers at him, one landing on each side of his arm almost hitting him but not quite. "I call this one, no kids in his sack." You quip and throw a dagger right between his legs, so close but not hitting him. but you laugh at his screams.

Three hours. it's been three hours, since Brock and Grant have been victims of your games, they can't find you anywhere but you have traps waiting for them every corner, Brock was covered in chocolate sauce and thumbtacks and Grant was still green from earlier but had burned shoes from stepping on metal steps you some how have heated up. Again the intercoms start up this time it plays Another one bites the dust by Queen, and the lights flicker off and on and both men walk on a trip wire and are immediately slapped with pans in the face and the fall back into yet another portal and falls into a pool full of flour, they don't get a chance before honey is falling down on them, but of course it wouldn't be funny without your laughter.

Once again, Brock Rumlow and Grant Ward split up, big mistake.

Brock walks down the hallway, his steps a bit squeaky from the mess that is him, he lost all his weapons, he leans up against the wall, and peaks around the corner seeing a round barstool with a metal bucket on it that says "Weapons." he walks towards it with fast big strides and reaches his hand in and hears a click his eyes widens and then Boom he's blown back into a wall rendering him unconscious and a bit bloody "Merry Christmas you filthy animal." You quote, with a satisfied smirk on your lips as the clock it's 12 on the dot. You follow Grant, you're invisible again, and watching him, the feeling he gets is uneasiness and he looks around, yet he keeps going forward, he walks into a room that looks Christmas gift wrapped, it's an empty circle looking room, the door shuts behind him immediately and with an illusion spell, you make him see spiders, that look like reindeer, and they start to chase him, he runs but runs into the glass walls repeatedly until you decided you were done with them, so you teleport in there and punch him in the face knocking him out. You drag Brock's unconscious form into the room with Grant, and tie their hands together with Christmas lights and then you add a Christmas bow on each of their heads. the room that the two men are in is Loki's old cell, you leave the cell locking it up and you put gift wrapping paper over the glass to keep any one from seeing in or out, you add a large golden bow on the door and a note that reads "To:Avengers, From:Y/N"

You cleaned the entire tower up with your powers and went to bed like nothing happened but only you'll know the real secret.

(Avengers Pov)

Everyone is tense and tired, the mission was a trap and bust but everyone is alive, and that's all that mattered, the jet lands on the helipad and the team gets off.

Upon getting into the tower the place smells of fresh chocolate and mint, they are first met with cookies and hot chocolate on the table in the common room, and they see the stockings filled with wrapped gifts, the anger and tension in the seems to leave as they see this and know your the cause, and then that's when they hear it, Jingle bell rock playing from a distance, they follow it until they reach the gift wrapped cell, each of them has their own look of confusion, before Tony steps forward and reads the card. "I'm assuming that the mission you went on was a trap, i hope you like the snacks and presents but i think you'll like this one more, i got em. from. Y/N Laufeyson-"

The rest of the team steps forward and starts to tear down the paper and there the two men lay fully conscious and tied up in a jolly way and all messed up. The team looks at each other before bursting out in laughter. "Well i'll be damned." Tony snickers "That's my darling little angel." Loki smirks, a proud look in his eyes. (The End)

Happy soon Thanksgiving and early Christmas, thanks for reading❤️💚

[emmaelt]

I wanted to add to this because it felt so important when I read it. @waywardwords I absolutely adore what you said!

You taking care of yourself should not be valuable based upon how much money you spend. You do not need the latest trending product to take care of yourself. You do not need a 20-step skincare routine (unless you want it and can afford it!). You don't need anyone's products or approval or permission to make yourself feel good.

If you find something that works, even if that seems to be the case only for you, do it! Let what helps help!

The idea of enrichment and caretaking is so useful also. I kind of do this, but with a video game perspective. Viewing myself as a sim with different bars for different needs has actually revolutionised my experience of being a human with corporeal form. Alexithymia, the inability to indentify emotions, is a big thing for me, but it seems to also extend to being me being unable to identify needs.

Now, if I'm feeling especially horrid - icky/gross/sad/numb etc - I take a minute to see if one of my needs is low. Sometimes my social bar is almost empty, or I haven't showered that day, or I haven't eaten in too long. It's easier, for me at least, to have this more detached perspective of my body.

Since I started doing this for my body in addition to doing this for my brain (as per my original reblog, up above), I seem to get more space in between me and the ickyness of having a human body. I used to find washing my hair extremely difficult, mainly because the sensation of wet hair gives me a visceral reaction. Now, I frame it as 'I am taking care of my hygiene need'. I have always found it really hard not to eat impulsively, and I still do massively struggle with this one, but now I not just 'filling my hunger bar' with food, but feeding myself with things that will be good for my body in the long run.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but if the phrase "self care" doesn't resonate with you, try calling it "system maintenance" and see if that clicks.

[july-19th-club]

first time i watched 'no exit' i was 100% in jo's corner like oh great it's sexist dean time . wheeee let's all watch her learn a lesson about hunting and he can be 'right' in a factual way but he'll be as obnoxious as possible about it the whole time . now i think what's happening here is that he has pretty much instantly samzoned her, as a college dropout from a hunting family who has a contentious relationship with her one surviving parent. EXCEPT that she's a five-foot-something twiggy barely-out-of-her-teens woman who has a crush on him and has never been on a serious hunt before, and he's dismissive/over-vigilant enough with the actual sam, a powerfully-built man with clairvoyant powers and over a decade of experience. bearing that in mind, his behavior towards jo is barely outside his normal realm of bossy and overbearing, and since he knows a little something about how sams will respond to direct orders, he still tells her mother she's not on the hunt with them so as to avoid the fallout until it's over. basically i think the whole dean thing, his most consistent characterization over the course of fifteen years, is his tendency to express even genuine protectiveness through the medium of 'bossy older sibling', and this makes him come off like the worst person on the planet. he frequently IS, but it's actually because of other things and has nothing to do with that habit in specific

[isfjmel-phleg]

This is a personal post.

[pelagic-crimson]

Oh this is a long post hold on tight

Faust: black tea, no milk or sugar/nothing. Faust canonically prefers tea going by her 7 ID and appearance in Liu!Hong Lu, and book!Faust is a teetotaler, a fact so well known it's casually referenced in the works of two other sinners.

Yi Sang: oversteeped cold brew/a single plum floating in perfume served in a man's hat. Yi Sang owned a cafe at one point and had a big sense of humour and old cold coffee that's meant to be served like that feels like that would fit with that vibe. He totally didn't put on some coffee and forget about it for a day and now refuses to throw it away. And like, he's an Avant Garde poet of course he's going to find Yoko Ono shenanigans funny. His actual drink preference is probably a really specific brand of beer or Soju he'd drink with the league after a hard day's work. Less about the actual taste and more about those who once shared the memory.

Don Quixote: cafe bombon/sangria. Cafe bombon is like the Spanish version of Vietnamese coffee - very sweet, very strong, and consists of a coffee layer and a condensed milk layer that don't mix well because of their different densities. like water and bloodfiend blood. Sangria is straight up called bloodletting, but at the same time the entire image of a vampire with a glass of "wine" is kinda destroyed when said wine is full of fruit and smells like pumpkin spice. Which is exactly what she wants. Also fun to yell at the top of your lungs and drunken with friends.

Ryōshū: lapsang souchong/habushu. Lapsang souchong is a smoked tea with an intense burnt taste. Good, but a very acquired taste. Habushu is rice wine with a drowned snake in it. Very over the top edgy. Probably also drinks absinthe in an attempt to see demons to paint (doesn't work, but very artistic nonetheless).

Meursault: cafe blanc/brandy. Both text canon and actually minor plot points. Him asking for a cafe blanc at his mother's funeral is brought up in court because only a psychopath would have coffee with milk at a funeral and Raymond intentionally gets him drunk several times so he'll let down his guard (he won't say no to a glass of wine though). Also side note - cafe blanc is just a french press/filter coffee with milk added, not a latte or any other drink made with an espresso machine. The man predates the modern espresso machine that steams milk and explicitly says he doesn't like black coffee.

Hong Lu: very fancy white tea/gin and tonic. He canonically drinks white tea (the "barely perfumed water" in his Liu uptie) and in text he's really not great with alcohol and plays into a lot of feminine sterotypes. A G+T is a very sterotypically feminine drink that can hide alcohol well and heavily flavoured by medicinal herbs which also ties into the traditional medicine that appears a lot in his text (and hints at Daiyu, if you follow the two-in-one theory). A very fruity cocktail would also work.

Heathcliff: milky cuppa of Yorkshire gold/premium bitter. He's British and he's from about Yorkshire I don't think he needs more explanation. I mean do you really think he was ever allowed to have the fancy Earl Grey no he's drinking the cheap stuff they sell at Tesco's (but with a touch of class with the gold). In text he's also a brandy person but that's after he's returned and taken up the position of lord of the mannor and in game it's mentioned he had a beer named after him once. Bitters are like the British beer and premium just means it's extra strong. Think like Old Crafty Hen. Still very British and working class, but with a touch of quality to it.

Ishmael: peaberry coffee/rum. Both textual, both very whaler things to drink. Rum is obvious, but I have no idea why Ishmael says peaberry coffee is whaler approved, so I think that might be Ishmael's own preferences seeping through. Honestly funny that the sailor American has more developed coffee tastes than the Frenchman who hangs around cafes a lot.

Rodion: Black tea/champagne. Tea is a big part of Russian culture and is highly associated with literati and intelligentsia, which Rodion desperately wants to be. I know vodka is the sterotype choice (and fits her class), but Rodion wants to be fancy and something greater than herself and champagne is a drink for celebrations of great things, and she's a great thing who wants to be celebrated.

Dante: N/A. Dante doesn't really seem like the sort of person who has a well thought out drink choice, but panic orders whatever stands out the most while at the counter and is really here for the biscotti you get with the coffee. Macchiato and red wine would be sterotypical but I find that kinda lazy imo. I feel like their favourites would end up being a combination of several different sinners as they don't have the history to make their own preferences.

Sinclair: Yerba mate/whatever's cheapest. At least to me in Europe Yerba mate is a very hippie crunchy drink and I feel obligated to give it to the character and author who partly caused that movement. Sinclair himself is probably the sort of person who tries to order an espresso to seem more mature and intelligent, but can't actually drink it. Or some sort of tisane. And textually...Sinclair is a student falling into alcoholism. He doesn't care what it is as long as he can skull it and get drunk. I'd suggest a sterotypical student drink, but those are highly region dependant and idk what the sterotypical German student booze is. Once upon a time it was probably Kirsch, a common schnapps that he'd get served at dinner with his family, but now it just brings back painful memories.

Outis: tea/ouzo. Canonically likes tea going by her 7 ID, but she doesn't seem to have a preference. I guess she's more like Heathcliff and just drinks whatever she can get her hands on, but is partial to the cheap crappy stuff you get in military rations. Same story with booze, plus sitting at a cafe drinking ouzo grumbling at people is a very old man thing to do.

Gregor: decaf whipped cream mocha frappechino (extra syrup)/antifreeze. Bugs don't like caffeine but they love sugar and Gregor loves milk. Gregor is resistant to poison and antifreeze is cheap and sweet. Matches made in heaven.

Vergilus: espresso/whiskey. Once upon a time these were genuine interests he selectively indulged himself in and could tell you a lot about, but have since degraded into simply an easy way to wake himself up and make himself forget. Maybe. I haven't read much of Leviathan.

Charon: mocha/nitrofuel canned cocktail. It's a coffee and it's a chocolate, mixed together! Served black. Very sweet and very bitter. She once saw an ad for a new cocktail in a can that advertised itself as "engine fuel" that's some ungodly blend of vodka and energy drink that's the colour of enkaphillian and she refuses to touch anything else. Did you know the backstreets have no drunk driving laws?

Favourite drink of every Sinner?

Also Charon, Danteeee and Verg

gonna be honest im not qualified to answer this.

im gonna let people sound off in the notes.

[starlooove]

My batfam gender sexuality hcs 🥰🥰🥰🥰:

Bruce: cishet he/him

Dick: cishet he/him

Jason: cishet he/him

Tim: cishet he/him

Steph: butch lesbian to ME! She/her but she’s trying out she/they and doesn’t know how to feel. Might fuck with neos but she’s not ready to take that step yet.

Cass: think early on in accepting that she’s a human being she’d psychoanalyze the fuck outta herself to see where she fits in and be super super super pressed about the entire thing to a detrimental point but as she progresses she’ll be fine. Lesbian, and she’s pretty sure she’s a girl most of the time sure 😄.

Duke: I think he knew he was not straight since he was young (moonlight opened his eyes and broke his heart) but he never really questioned his sexuality at all. The problem is that he doesn’t question it because the idea of gender roles (girls do this. Boys do that.) is so engrained in his mind that it’s not even something he thinks can be changed, if that makes sense? Anyways I don’t think he’s the type to get dysphoria he moreso experiences euphoria when exploring his gender identity. I think he would realize he has different views on his own gender when he sees other people expressing their own differently. Like genuinely he goes to school and sees another boy wearing lipstick and his brain blows up. As of this very moment he’s “exploring” but he’s actually a lil scared to genuinely confront himself about this and uses “there’s bigger problems in the world” to get out of it. End goal is non-binary but for now he’s at the veeeeeeery tail end of questioning.

Damian: I think at the moment Damian’s just not thinking about any of that but it’s in the opposite of duke; he knows he’s probably some kind of queer, both in sexuality and gender, but it’s just. Not top priority for him at the moment. I wanna bring up clothes rq bc, extra hc time, in MY mind Damian does express himself a lot through his clothing and getting to the manor made him a bit shy when it came to skirts and dresses. Seeing the way boys, and especially black and brown boys, who explore their femininity are treated, he just doesn’t mention it at all and the scenario never comes up. He gets more comfortable as time goes on though and later on gets bold enough to wear a dress to an event. He’s stonefaced but slightly regretting it till some younger kid sees him and is awe stricken, like stars in his eyes and asking if he can do that too. Damian feels better about it and resolves to wear whatever he wants more often. I don’t think he ever comes out in big big way (he’d tell the people closest to him but everyone else can just figure it out) but he genuinely doesn’t feel the need to label himself at all.

[kindnessoverperfection]

There are two paths before me.

One is overgrown, full of thorns and bristles and broken branches. The other is sunny and clear.

Surely, the first will lead to nothing but risk, danger, and pain, while the second will be a blissful, joyful walk.

But there's nothing for me on that clear path. No food, no life, no person out there besides myself. I know that the overgrown path can grant me all those things and more, if only it weren't such a wretched way to go.

So I spend some time on the clear path, walking forward until I can't take the loneliness and discontent anymore, and I turn back. But when I arrive where I started, the first path is still overgrown, worse still than before. Frustrated and feeling helpless, I start down the clear path again. When I decide to take care of myself and survive instead of starving to death on the barren trail, I turn back again. And again, the other is overgrown and terrifying.

I go back and forth, until I fall to my knees, crying and begging for someone, anyone, to help me. To remove the thorns and bristles and branches.

And then I realize, this entire time, I've been running from the pain. I've been waiting for the trail to clear up on its own, to grant me safe and easy passage.

It wasn't my fault I was never taught wilderness survival - I don't know how to make it through such an area, bandage the scrapes and wear functional gear and step over the branches. But I can learn, even if I'll experience some hurt along the way.

[nothinggathers]

So a thought I keep coming back to about Detroit: Become Human is how Connor is the only android to ever put his mission, his goals, and his existence on the line for a human.

Hear me out.

Markus loves Carl like a father, but he never stops what he's doing for Carl's sake. You can, without question, come to a conclusion where Carl is alive and have Markus use a dirty bomb. None of Markus decisions can come at the expense of a human he cares about. Markus can take the pacifist route and let his people get killed to refrain from hurting humans, but that's a tactical choice Markus makes about how to win over a watching population.

Kara should have had that potential for sacrifice in her story. She saves Alice, drags her around the city, can steal for her and threaten others for her and sacrifice herself and others for her. Except because someone thought a twist was more important, Alice is an android. So Kara's story is about an android family, and the lengths they'll go to for each other. The revelation that androids will fight and sacrifice for other androids is not a revelation at this point. It just is.

Daniel loves Emma, but when he might be taken away from her he threatens to throw her off a roof. He tells the player, about a dying policeman, "All humans die eventually. What does it matter if this one dies now?"

And then there's Connor. If Connor is a machine he can be ruthless and unforgiving and coldly calculating.

But Connor can also not be that. Connor can put his first mission on the line for a human he doesn't know, to save a policeman's life.

Connor can let a deviant escape to save Hank's life.

Connor can sacrifice his own existence, at least in this body, to shield Hank, or he can destroy the deviant he wanted to capture alive to save many more.

Connor does this despite pressure from his creators. He does this knowing that these failures could lead to his own destruction.

And in the end, the very end, if Connor does all this and becomes a fully fledged deviant, he can also put the entire android revolution on the line. His existence, the existence of all androids, the freedom of an entire species can be risked to save Hank. Everything Connor is, and wants, and set out to do gets put aside because another Connor puts a gun to Hank.

Nobody else gets to make those sacrifices for humans.

Connor does it for Hank literal minutes after murdering two guards in an elevator. Two dudes that were just hired to do a job and happened to be in the way get unflinching bullets put in them.

But not Hank.

And even if Connor doesn't go deviant, if he had a good relationship with Hank he can refuse to kill him. He can pull him back off the roof and let himself get killed instead of killing Hank.

No other android gets those choices.

[lesbiansanemi]

I have started to accept I am a bit more (re a lot more) psychologically unstable than I thought for a long time and man…. I’m tired of it

[fingertipsmp3]

Why did I get paranoid about how no one has checked the work I submitted yet. It’s literally Sunday

[lovelyisadora]

it isn’t the end of the semester but i’m already having my end of the semester breakdown oh my GOD I am going to have a heart attack. sprite save me

[trulyiamjustmaleficaring]

Sebastian Vael is such a profoundly lonely character

[sluttyten]

Now I sit in my room anxiously for the next hour and a half waiting for tickets to go on sale, and then I drive anxiously across town too