#and tell me that I was free to disagree! but it had to be based on more than silence

[isfjmel-phleg]

This is a personal post.

[lotties-ashwagandha]

THE FIRST TO BREAK

agatha harkness x reader x rio vidal

NSFW! when they can’t decide who indulges you more, agatha and rio find a way to settle it in competition. based on this ask i got. 1.3k words. i might have written this at 7am (that’s my excuse if it’s bad <3).

Rio’s arms rest looped around your waist as you stand at the stove. Her head rests on your shoulder as she watches you work, as you pour herbs and spices into a pot —you got up early, stalking through the kitchen to create something to prevent the illnesses that will be coming with winter soon. You use your witchcraft in the way of herbs, a potion witch as they would call you.

“You don’t need any of this,” Rio whispers. She watches you stir, and her arms around you grow tighter. “I’m not taking you from illness.”

You smile softly. You’ve tried to explain to her before that it’s not just about life and death, but discomfort — how much life resembles the gleaming, shifting ideal of thriving. She is still learning, it’s a concept too human for what is ancient, for Death.

“You’re going to keep her alive forever,” Agatha’s voice rings out into the gentle silence of the kitchen as she speaks to Rio. You turn slightly in Rio’s grasp to look over at her, and as she pours a coffee for herself Agatha raises her eyebrows at you accusingly. “Don’t break my favoritism streak.”

You shake your head. “I’ll try.”

Rio rolls her eyes. She steps away from you, leaning against the kitchen island behind her as she turns to Agatha. “If one of us is treating her with favoritism, it’s not me.”

“Really? That’s a stretch. How do I treat her with favoritism?”

Leaving the contents on the stove to simmer, you turn to watch them argue over you. It is playful, but still endearing, because you know they both treat you with favoritism.

“You answer to whatever she wants,” Rio says, like it’s obvious. “Even when she doesn’t ask, you’re always giving.”

“That’s not a bad thing.”

“No. Stealing diamond earrings and a diamond bracelet in the same week from a shopkeeper you threatened to kill is a little much though, isn’t it?”

Agatha is quiet for a moment, taking a sip of her coffee. She drinks out of a black mug Rio got her, wears a dark blue robe Rio bought her, wears a wedding ring Rio proposed to her with. You don’t think you are the one being shown partiality.

Agatha sets the mug down and looks at you. “What do you think?”

You didn’t think it had been worth bickering over. They had disagreed. Now as you lay on the bed with your hands tied all you want is for them to show you favor, to fuck you until they forget the petty competition they have created between them.

Two of Rio’s fingers slide into you as she takes advantage of her turn. The rules of their competition are simple: whoever lets you come first loses. You’re working up to the third time being edged, this is Rio’s second time on you and Agatha has only edged you once.

It was Agatha’s plan to make Rio go first, and now you can see why, because in the way she’s fucking you so greedily now with her fingers and in the low moans she lets slip as she sucks bruises onto your chest you can tell Rio will be the first to break. She wants to let you come as bad as you need it, her black nails digging into your hips as her free hand presses against you in a reminder to stay still.

“Look at her,” Agatha says, speaking to Rio as if you couldn’t hear, you were something to admire. “Doesn’t she deserve to come? She’s so beautiful for us like this.”

Rio lets out a frustrated breath, accusatory glance shifting to Agatha, who takes advantage of her proximity and pulls her into a kiss. You watch them above you, one of Agatha’s hands drifting to your breasts as she sits at your side. She’s trying hard to do anything she can to make Rio let you come.

Rio notices Agatha’s wandering touch. She pulls out of the kiss, pulling Agatha’s hand away from your breasts and replacing it with her mouth. The sensation elicits a gasp from you, and your back arches into the sensation of her tongue licking across one of your nipples.

“She’s so close,” Agatha whispers into Rio’s ear. She watches you with the same hunger in Rio’s eyes as she keeps fucking you with her fingers. “Think about how perfect she would look for you, how it would feel to have her—”

Just as you reach the edge of your orgasm, Rio pulls her hands from you. She compensates with kissing you — it’s not enough, though, and you can’t help but whine into the kiss. You need her touch, or Agatha’s, something to soothe the need growing in you so sharply.

When you pull away and look at Agatha, a conflicted expression occupies her features. You know she wants to give you an orgasm, but she also wants to win. As she takes Rio’s place and settles herself between your legs, head dipping down to kiss your thighs, you can see it — that there’s nothing she wants more right now than to feel you come on her tongue.

When Rio kisses you from beside you, Agatha delivers a sharp slap to the outside of your thigh. You tense, startled out of the kiss.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Agatha’s tone is demanding as she addresses Rio, who looks back at her with unbothered pride.

“I’m playing by your rules. You want to taunt me during my turn? It has to be even.”

“It will be even when I win,” Agatha says, and you’re overcome with the sensation of her tongue dragging through you. Your hands pull at the restraints above you to no avail. You want to reach down and weave your hands in her hair, or pull Rio closer to you as she watches.

Agatha runs her tongue over your clit. She does it harder, moaning against you when your legs begin to tremble on either side of her head. It’s almost painful how good it feels to have her tongue dipping inside of you and back up to your clit. With Rio’s lips crashing back into yours you can feel yourself slowly building into another orgasm — this time you need it.

“Please,” you beg breathlessly, hands pulling the restraints again. “You win, both of you can win…”

“Agatha,” Rio taunts beside you. She watches as Agatha draws you closer and closer to the edge — she watches when Agatha pulls away.

Yet when Agatha pulls away it’s not to let Rio take her place, but to slide two fingers into you and reposition herself so she can kiss you. You taste yourself on her tongue and a moan escapes you.

“Come for me, baby, give it to me,” Agatha murmurs. Your body responds immediately, any restraint you’ve tried to keep snaps as white-hot euphoria rushes over you. Agatha fucks you through it, fingers buried deep in you as she guides you through your orgasm. Vaguely you’re able to process Rio beside you as well with one of her hands between her legs — she’s gone with you, at the sight of you and Agatha.

Agatha kisses you again as you come down from it. You hear Rio breathing heavily beside you, and then Agatha is pulled away from you again so that Rio can kiss her. When they part, Rio looks into her eyes. “You fucking lose.”

“And you’re the one that got off on it.”

A smile makes its way to your lips. Playfully Rio shakes her head at you, Agatha moving to lay on your other side so that you’re sandwiched between them while Rio undoes the restraints on your wrists. You pull your hands down.

Laying down with them, Rio rests her head on her chest and loops an arm around your waist. Agatha holds her hand, and in their embrace you are enveloped by their love. There is no winner amongst you — the victory is shared.

[finisnihil]

Zhongli is interesting to me because he’s very much an outlier among the other Archons.

All the Archons have some sort of “twin” except Zhongli. Ei and Makoto, Venti and the Nameless Bard, Nahida and Rukkadevata, and Furina and Focalors. One could argue Guizhong is his “twin” but I heavily disagree because the Archon “twin” is directly related to the identity of the Archon. Ei and Makoto were twins, Nahida was a new iteration of Rukkadevata, Focalors and Furina are the divine and the human sides of the same person, and Venti directly took on the identity of the Bard. Adding on, the “twin” usually dies. All this implies two possibilities. Zhongli either never had a “twin” or his “twin” was already rendered deceased long ago. Either way both of these imply he’s different from the others on a level we don’t know.

Next: his draconic motifs. His Exuvia form was a dragon (some translations I’ve seen Half-Dragon, Half-Qilin) and his character design is very heavily based in this draconic identity. Further still, no other Archon so far has this motif. They are associated WITH dragons sure, Venti and Dvalin, Nahida and Apep, Furina and Neuvillette, but no other Archon is depicted with both divine and draconic motifs. There’s theories about Zhongli being or related to the Geo Dragon Sovereign for a reason. In his ascension voicelines he comments on his power growing stronger which isn’t unusual that’s the point of them but the giving up of his Gnosis makes his odd because it almost seems like the removal of the Gnosis was suppressing an aspect of his power, possibly a draconic power. Even when his divine identity was mostly shed his draconic aspects remain.

Finally, the cubes. All the other Archons in their statues have a circle motif. Venti and Rukkadevata/Nahida old some sort of orb, Makoto/Ei has her circle behind her and Focalors/Furina holds a sword with circular designs. Zhongli, however, holds a cube. Not just any cube either, a cube that is reminiscent of the Heavenly Principles who kidnap the Traveler’s Sibling at the start of the game. Add to this Zhongli weird connections to Celestia/The Heavenly Principles, his weird motif with the sun and the whole sun chariot lore, his Archaic nature and unknown origins, it’s extremely odd.

Zhongli is one of my favorites because he definitely knows more than he’s able to tell and he’s so different in the pattern of the Archons. Anyways feel free to give thoughts, have a great day, mwah!

[transmutationisms]

Hey, I've been delving into anti psychiatry readings but one thing always stands out to me: if there is no underlying disease behind a depressive state, for example, how does that new paradigm not end up placing the blame on the patient? I ask in good faith as I still don't have a clear answer on that regard, and would like to have better conversations about this topic that don't end when people tell me of a close relative with depression who has seemingly had a life free of traumas that could otherwise present as depression.

-materialist (marxist) anti psychiatry identifies the root 'cause' or basis of psychological experiences in the economic and material conditions of existence. depression or other forms of distress, just like other affective states, derive fundamentally from the world we live in, our political situation, the material alienation of estranged labour that underlies 'alienation' the psychological state. this doesn't mean that resolving the contradictions of capitalism (that is, workers' revolution) will magically eliminate all sources of distress, depression, or other currently pathologised experiences. however, it would certainly resolve / eliminate some distress for some people; additionally, it is the only way to overcome the capitalist paradigm that values people by their adherence to a normative standard of ability, which is what renders depressed people (for example) economically marginalised 'failed citizens'

-keeping the above in mind, i would question whether there is really such thing as a person who 'has no trauma' ie, has no material basis for alienation, depression, or distress. capitalism is an estranging system, including for the owner class (though of course this occurs in a different way to the labouring class, and i am not suggesting that the bourgeoisie are the 'victims' of capitalism or some such)

-none of the above is mutually exclusive with the role that an individual's neurobiology plays in their subjective or psychological state. like any base/superstructure phenomenon, the relationship is dialectical, with the material base generally dominating, but both acting on and being affected by superstructural phenomena. economic and material conditions lead to subjective experiences such as depressions; these experiences are also instantiated in, reacting to, and reacted upon by the physiological processes in the brain/body. however, when we say that depression (for example) is not a disease we mean that there is no biological entity---no infectious pathogen, no 'chemical imbalance', no organic lesion, no anatomical defect or physiological malfunction---that is identifiable as a single cause or correlate of depressed states, nor will there ever be; the psychiatric label is a heuristic catch-all applied to a constellation of experiences (symptoms) that are varying degrees of disagreeable to individuals (patients) as well as to medical and state authorities

-i think it's overly credulous to the psychiatric profession to assert that calling something a disease means that no one can 'blame the patient' for it. in fact i would say it would be difficult to name a disease that doctors, state authorities, and society at large does NOT blame on patients

-i also think it's overly credulous to the psychiatric profession to assert that there is a dichotomy between neurobiological diseases and things that are individual faults or failings. in fact i would posit that most subjective experiences, including of distress, are neither

[with-every-piece-of-me]

Sweetheart; Tate Langdon x Fem!Reader

Pairing: Tate Langdon x fem!Reader

Summary: You come home after a weekend away and Tate's so glad you're back. 

Warnings: Sub!Tate, Dom!Fem!Reader, grinding but no actual penetration, one use of the word "mommy", kind of a handjob but not really (?), let me know if I missed anything! :)

Words: 1.6K

⋆♡⋆˚₊‧*☆⋆♡⋆☆*‧₊˚⋆♡⋆˚₊‧*☆⋆♡⋆☆*‧₊˚⋆♡⋆

You stumble up the stairs of the house, you haven't been home for the past couple of days, you missed Tate, sure, but you wanted to stay over at a friend's house for a sleepover. You adore Tate, but you also want a social life, even if Tate disagrees with that.

You sigh softly as you stand in the doorframe, the door is ajar and you can see into the room partially. You see the blanket hastily hanging off the side of the bed, it's flat on the bed then there is a rise under the blankets, and you can see someone is lying on your bed. The figure isn't moving, implying they're asleep but you know a stranger isn't gonna just break into your house to take a little nap, you already know who it is.

"Tate....?"

You call out softly, your voice comes out almost no louder than a whisper but you can tell he heard based on his slight movement, his supposedly sleeping figure shifts slightly under the blankets. You know he isn't asleep, why would a ghost need to sleep?

You walk up to the bed, and place your hand on the left side. Tate's lying silently on his side, he won't turn around to look at you.

"Tate?"

You call out again, this time a bit louder and clearer. You're met with Tate turning around to look up at you, his eyes are watery and red, and he has tears rolling down his cheeks slowly, covering the previous and now slightly dry tear stains. His cheeks and nose are rosy and red, your heart breaks slightly at the sight.

"Oh, sweetie..."

Tate leans into your touch as you reach out and graze his cheek softly with the pads of your fingers while you try to talk to him despite his deviated state.

"You were gone for so long... I was worried you had left me."

The boy stammers to the end of his sentence as he pulls himself up so he can sit. Tate looks up at you in sadness with a glint of relief in his eyes. Relief that you haven't left him, relief that you came back, back to him.

"I would never leave you, Tate... You know that."

You reply with a small but reassuring smile. You slowly sit on top of the blanket on your bed, Tate completely shifts his body over to face you. He reaches his hand out to grasp your own lightly.

"Stay here, in bed."

Tate requests as he stares up at you with a glimmer of hope plastered on his face, his doe eyes staring up at you – you chuckle under your breath.

"But, I have to unpack." 

You tease as you pull your hand away slightly and try to hide your slight smile, finding his desperation strangely endearing.

"No-! Stay..."

Tate demands as he pulls your hand back, his grasp on your hand is tight but not to the point of pain. His voice was laced with desperation. He looks up at you, his eyes glossing over.

"Of course."

You smile lovingly as you place your free hand on the side of his face, you lean forward to place a kiss on his forehead gently.

As you pull away Tate stares at you lovingly. He smiles as he places his hand on your hip, he slowly moves his hand under your shirt and rests his hand on the skin of your waist, tracing light shapes with his fingertips.

You place your hand behind his neck to pull him into a soft kiss, and in an instant, he kisses back in a needy manner. You move your hand up his neck and into his hair.

Tate gasps softly as his hand grips your waist and you tug on his soft, curly hair gently. You let go of his hair and pull away from the kiss, Tate looks at you in confusion and eagerness.

You place your hand on his shoulder to push him from lying on his side to lying on his back. you kneel on the bed and move yourself to straddle his waist, Tate stares up at me with a small smile on his face. you slowly pull his shirt up and off, you lean forward to kiss him quickly before pulling away and peppering kisses from his jaw, down to his collarbone, your lipstick leaves small but noticeable stains on his skin. The kisses and marks you leave are met with small whines and groans from the man below me.

"I'm sorry I was gone for so long, sweetheart..."

you whisper as Tate props himself up on his elbows, his curly blonde hair now somewhat disheveled.

"Then show me how sorry you are."

Tate states, a smirk plastered on his face, you chuckle softly at his request.

"Oh, don't get cocky now. I might not."

you state as you put your hand on his chest and push him back down, his head hitting the soft pillows.

you trace your nails lightly down his torso, goosebumps quickly following your trail. Tate's breath comes out shakily and unsteady.

"...please..."

Tate breathes out, barely above a whisper. you look down at him and smile sadistically.

"What did you say, dear? I couldn't hear it."

you grin as you draw a slow line from his stomach to the waistline of his pants with your fingertips, earning a groan from the man below me.

When he doesn't answer and instead just whines in response you hook two of your fingers on the waistband of his pants, pulling them back ever so slightly but only to snap the waistband against his waist as Tate gasps in response.

"Sweetheart, I can't give you what you want unless you ask."

you tease as you feel his muscles tense. Tate stares up at me with doe eyes as he's acting as though he has too much pride to beg for what he wants, but you know him better than to believe that, he just wants me to give him what he wants without him having to do anything.

you move down from his waist to be straddling his hips as he stares up at me with a hopeful gaze, you would've thought he wouldn't be so naïve to think I'd just fuck him without him following a simple order.

you lean in closer, your lips only a few inches away from Tate's, so close yet so far. Just as it seems as though I'm about to kiss him you move your face away from his and instead begin kissing and biting his neck gently, leaving a trail of marks and hickeys on his neck to his jaw.

As you do so the man beneath me lets out sighs and breaths of relief as I'm finally giving him at least part of what he wants.

you smirk slightly as you get an idea, you begin gently grinding your hips against his, giving him the bare minimum friction you can as there are still layers of clothing between the two of us.

you grind your hips against his agonizingly slow as he begins letting out chocked-out whimpers, you can feel the vibrations from the noises he makes in his throat as you continue trailing kisses along his soft skin.

However, Tate's been so needy all weekend, practically destroyed at the fact that you've been away for a few days and now that he finally has you, you barely give him any friction, how cruel.

Tate whines pathetically as he tries to buck his hips up against yours needily, desperate for just a little more friction to relieve himself of the want he's had for you all weekend when he hasn't been able to do anything about it. It's almost cute, how much he aches for your touch.

You sigh as you move your hips up, just out of reach of his body, rendering his desperate movements useless as you've completely taken away any friction he's had due to him being too needy for more. Tate's desperate pleas for you to give him just a bit more only fall upon deaf ears as you have no intention of giving him anything just yet.

Tate groans softly as you run your hands down his waist, resting your left hand on his hip while your right hand slowly makes its way into his pants, tracing gentle, slow circles around the tip of his already hard cock, causing the man to moan before biting his lip to try and keep quiet. God, it's so easy to get him riled up for you.

He moans and whimpers while trying to stop himself from rutting against your hand as his hands grip the bedsheets to try and keep at least a little bit of control over his body.

"What's wrong, baby?"

You ask in a teasing and sadistic tone as you continue to tease his tip while kissing and biting his neck tenderly. Your words only cause mumbling pleas to fall from Tate's mouth, although they're all too mumbled and rushed to fully hear what he's begging for in specifics.

"I need to go unpack."

Interrupting his begging while you move your hand out of his pants, moving to be sitting up with your knees on either side of his hips, you're so close to him but too far away for him to touch you the way he so badly wants to.

Just as you're about to get up you feel Tate's hands gripping your thighs, pulling you back down onto him as you're now sitting on his lap straddling his hips once again, you can feel how hard.

Tate looks up at you with teary puppy eyes as he bats his lashes, his cheeks still have a pink tint to them.

"Please, mommy... Touch me?"

(I've been in a creative rut lately, and this has been in my drafts for months now, and even though I hate it I decided to edit and post it, sorry its not that good. I might to a PT2 but Idk yet <3)

[verimuru]

20th Century Boy

A 12-page IWTV (2022 series) fancomic about the Vampire Armand, Daniel, Devil’s minion era, sex, drugs and rock n' roll.

Content mentions & warnings: drug use, light angst, mentions of sex & death.

Fancomic by verimuru and anonymous, 2024.

Some notes about the comic below:

This comic is based on my partner's brilliant fanfiction. They wished to remain anonymous, but the story idea was theirs. I am just a humble servant.

Neither of us speak English as our first language, so of course after finishing I see a hundred things to tweak in the dialogue... but decided to leave it the way it is, for now. So! If you, dear reader, find clunky sentences and weird mistakes and would possibly like to help us in the future, send me an ask. ;-)

My partner said that banging in an elevator while listening T.Rex on repeat is a plothole because they couldn't do that, but I disagree. They would find a way.

Idk where Louis is - probably left Dubai. Daniel got some of his memories back, not sure how yet. Lots of inspiration was taken from GrayGiantess' fics, but this work is not based on them (just an encouragement for everyone to read them).

I got into this ship, like, less than 100 hours ago. I got possessed by a demon, blinked, and suddenly I made a comic. I have seen the first season of the IWTV 2022 adaptation and everything else I know about the canon is hearsay, whispers in the forest and an Eldritch demon telling me its tales. Consider me as a little fledgling.

And finally, the songs in order by T.Rex are: Get it on, 20th Century Boy, Free Angel and Cosmic Dancer. Rest in piece, Marc Bolan, and thank you for everything.

I'll make an PDF for itch.io... later, now I need to sleep.

We would love a comment or an ask, so my box is open. Hope you enjoy. <3

UPDATE on 24th of March, 2024: I fixed Armand's skin tone on two pages (I had missed a couple spots).

[alexxajay]

🍸 What’s Your Poison?🍸

Hi, I’m Jay! Nice to meet you,honey🩷

• Bbygirl of ‘01

• March🌷Pisces Princess

• Somehow managing to work a big girl job in the real world of the USA

Just vibin’ & thrivin’ on my new little blog sharing my cute little ideas with cute little strangers.

(That’s you, babe. You’re the cute stranger💋)

*Hwang Hyunjin bias based!*

(But you’ll see me reblog all the boys!!)

Join me for Happy Hour Gossip!

I’m open to request or a chat if you’d like to giggle,rant,or cry with me!

*Request:fake text(predominately),drabbles,au prompts,etc(I have more time for shorter fics)

*I will not write member x member, incest/step siblings, taboo/hardcore themes, include the members’ real life family, and I will politely decline your request if it’s something I am not comfortable with writing or speaking on :)

*Stray Kids are real people & therefore everything below is completely fictional. This doesn’t reflect who they truly are in any way, shape, or form. I am not trying to misconstrue who they are in real life.

Don’t forget to touch grass,babe <3

✨Everyone’s welcome at Stay’s Bar✨

(especially my fellow Black stays🤎)

**MDNI & SFW Rules**

Minors(16+)are free to interact with my blog as long as you keep it cute & appropriate.

*SFW* Fics are safe for the younger stays and will usually only have profanity listed as a warning.

*MDNI* Fics are self explanatory and should not be interacted with unless you are 18+

Keep it cute or get blocked <3

Angst⛈️/🌩️; Fluff🧸; Smut/Suggestive🔥

FWB!Hyunjin Text Series 🧸⛈️🔥 (MDNI)

A late night text accidentally sent to one of the artist you’re working with leads to a half a year long agreement and Hyunjin wants more…

(fwb to lovers)

Before You Ruined My Outfit? 🌩️🧸 (SFW)

Han Jisung is your childhood best friend and his attempt at playing Cupid goes horribly wrong somehow thanks to Hyunjin…

Fix Your Face, Please! 🧸🌩️ (MDNI)

Hyunjin’s very vocal about how jealous & possessive he can get, and although it can get troublesome you find it kind of hot…

We Were On Break!! 🌩️🧸 (SFW)

Your ex boyfriend, Hyunjin, has a hard time accepting the end of your relationship and is very persistent on getting back together…

Corporate Gang 🧸 (MDNI)

JYP Co. gets a new IT-Agent and you can’t help but gush about him to your favorite coworkers…

(Nerdy,shy!Hyunjin Series)

Take Your Friends Out ⛈️🧸 (pt.1 ) (MDNI)

Your boyfriend has stood you up 3x this month and you decide that you’re done with being second place. Of course he disagrees…

Don’t Say That To Me ⛈️ (pt 2.) (MDNI)

Months after you took Hyunjin back you have to face the tough reality of falling out of love with him and end things for good…

Stress Induced Fever 🧸 (SFW)

Your job has decided to transfer you to their USA branch for a year and Hyunjin is failing miserably at holding himself together before you leave…

Sad Nudes? 🧸 (MDNI)

You’ve had a shit day and Hyunjin tries his best to cheer you up thousands of miles away…

I Love You. Now Date Me! 🧸🌩️ (SFW)

Your bestfriend has been jokingly telling you he’s in love with you for years only for you to find out it’s not a joke…and oh yeah, he HATES your boyfriend…

Babe, I Broke It 🧸 (SFW)

Hyunjin broke your brand new coffee mug and he’s taking it harder than you are (soft bbyboy)…

I Really Like You, Like Romantically 🔥🧸(MDNI)

Your best friend asks you for an insane favor of helping him lose his virginity and discovers his feelings in the process…

I Will Win! Fighting!🔥🧸 (MDNI)

You and Hyunjin make a friendly bet to survive No Nut November and despite his persistent confidence on winning, he eventually gives in…

Emergency Contact ⛈️ (SFW)

You and Hyunjin had a mutual breakup over a year ago, but apparently he forgot to remove you as his emergency contact and feelings are revisted…

Safe,Loved,& Accepted ⛈️ (SFW)

Bang Chan has been making light of the nasty comments you’ve been getting online until you are put in a sticky situation and he’s worried sick a thousand of miles away…

Have You Always Been This Hot?? 🔥🧸 (MDNI)

Attempting to survive No Nut November with your best friend Chan brings forth feelings neither of you knew existed…and really good sex…

Promise You Won’t Quit?🧸 (SFW)

I Just Want To Help ⛈️ (SFW)

Want To See It Up Close? 🔥🧸 (MDNI)

I Hate You. All Of You. 🌩️ (SFW)

[antiquarianfics]

The Best Things Take Time

Bucky has a code. You manage to crack it.

A/N: This took me so long because I wasn't really sure how I wanted to go about it. I'm pretty happy with it, I think. Also, my first request! I hope I did your brain-child justice. :) Warnings: Mild language. Based on this request. Note: I do not own the character Bucky Barnes or any other Marvel affiliated characters.

You do not have permission to repost or translate my work; however, feel free to like, comment, and/or reblog.

----

Bucky Barnes decided early on in his life as a free man that he wasn’t going to try and date—even with Sam and Yori pushing him all the time. His triggers are gone, yes, but he is starkly aware that he still has a long way to go before he might be considered ready to give time and energy to another person on a daily basis. However, if there is anyone in the world that makes him reconsider his own rule, it’s you.

The two of you first formally met when Steve, Sam, and yourself finally tracked him down. You were kind to him, but you kept your distance. He never made many attempts to speak with you, but the short interactions he did have with you were short and clinical. He never asked, but he’s pretty sure you’re afraid of him—of what he’s done.

Despite this assumption, Bucky takes note of the way you drop everything to help him time and time again. You back him in Washington, you back him in Siberia, you back him in Wakanda, and you back him in Washington in the second go-round. He is appreciative—very much so—but he keeps his distance regardless. After all, he shouldn’t risk losing an ally by something as silly as small talk.

Things begin to change, though, when he runs into you at the airport. Both him and you felt the need to get on Sam’s back about giving up the shield.

“What are you doing here?” You ask, a little indignantly. You cringe a little at your tone, but you brush it off nonetheless.

Bucky shoots you an annoyed look before turning to Sam.

Throughout the mission to track down the Flag Smashers, you and Bucky bicker (even more than Sam and Bucky do). You challenge him on every opinion he shares, poke fun at every misstep he takes, and side with Sam for the sake of disagreeing with him. He returns the favor, and he ignores the bitter taste it leaves in his mouth.

Your interactions are not particularly pleasant, sure, but they’re existent—which is progress.

—

“Does he always stare like that?” Walker asks Sam, eyeing Bucky uncomfortably.

“You get used to it,” Sam replies.

You glare at Walker. His attitude towards you and your boys bothers you. His entitlement to Steve’s shield and name bothers you. He bothers you.

“Does she always stare like that?” Walker asks, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

“Only when douchebags harass my friends,” you deadpan.

You are plenty aware this is the first time you’ve called Bucky your friend, and you can tell he is too by the way his eyes shift from Walker to you. You’re not aware, though, that your concession of friendship serves as the push he needs to talk to you more.

—

It takes time, but over the next few weeks, Bucky manages to get you to open up. He’s surprised with himself by how he’s willing to talk to you; after all, people are usually trying to get him to talk.

Bucky finds out that you’re actually not as reserved as he thought, but you had heard both Steve’s stories of before and multiple people’s accounts of after. Your distance, you admit, was a consequence of you trying to give him space when everyone else was crowding him. Your teasing and bickering with him was a consequence of trying to create said space. The revelation makes Bucky’s heart clench: no one has made him feel so cared for in a long time.

Bucky sticks by his no dating rule, though. After all, you may be friends, and you may be acting nicer to him lately, but there’s no way you like him like that.

Or, at least he thinks so until Louisiana.

—

“Hey, Sarah,” Bucky says, flashing a charming smile at her from where he sits next to Sam and yourself on the dock.

“Hey!” You smack his chest with the back of your hand. “No flirting with Sam’s sister.”

He lets his attention shift to you, and he can’t help the surprise. He’s aware that you could just be enforcing Sam’s demand from earlier, but you’re so adamant. He thinks maybe he sees a flash of jealousy in your eyes, but he thinks, too, he might just be seeing what he wants to see.

Sam and Sarah continue to bicker before she shoos the three of you away from the boat. Sam and Bucky step onto the dock and begin to walk away before you, and they keep walking even when Sarah stops you.

“Subtle,” she says, smirking at you. You wave her off, your face heating up with a blush.

“Shut up,” you say, embarrassment entwined with each syllable.

Bucky thinks maybe—just maybe—you might like him back.

—

Looking back on the last few years, Bucky can hardly believe the journey you and he had been on. Being so distant most of your time together in the first few years, and then being so rude to each other the next few, and then needing a push from the Wilsons to actually do anything about your feelings… it was interesting, to say the least.

He remembers the day you agreed to leave Louisiana with him. It was an impulsive decision, but it led to the first time the two of you had truly been alone together. It led to inside jokes and deep conversations. It led to a genuine friendship.

“I’m headed out tomorrow,” Bucky informed you and Sam.

The three of you were sitting on the porch of Sarah’s house, conversation flowing from friendly jests, to Karli, to the boat, to whatever else. Your head shot up to stare at him, eyes widening.

“What? Why?” Your tone was a little panicked. Bucky raised his eyebrows at your tone. Sam laughed, and you shot him a glare.

“I don’t want to overstay my welcome, Doll,” he said. Ever since the incident with Sarah, he’d let a few pet names for you fall from his lips, and he smugly noted the way they made you squirm.

“Oh.”

“Well!” Sam exclaimed, clapping his palms on his knees as he stood. “I’m gonna go check on Sarah and the boys while you,” he pointed at the two of you in turn, “figure whatever is going on here out.”

You protested, but Sam was gone without another word. Neither one of you spoke for a moment, and you chewed on your lip.

“You’re really going?” You asked shyly.

“Yeah.”

“Oh.”

“You can come with me, if you want,” he offered before he can think better of himself.

Your eyes shot to his, analyzing his face for any sort of jest. He seemed sincere, and once you decided he wasn’t pulling your leg, you responded.

“Okay.”

He remembers the day the two of you finally addressed that you were more than friends. Bucky, of course, has a no dating rule, and you? You had no such thing, but you weren’t dating either. In fact, you hadn’t since before Karli and the Flag Smashers showed up.

Bucky and yourself were at a bar, drinking and laughing with one another. He was sober, of course, but you were a little tipsy. You had a dopey smile on your face that he thought was the prettiest thing he’d ever seen. He still thinks your smile is the prettiest thing he’s ever seen.

That’s when a young woman sauntered up to the bar. She was gorgeous; her long, black braids reached her waist, her lips were painted a bright red color, and she wore a halter top that left little to the imagination.

“Hi,” she said, grabbing your attention, shooting you a flirtatious smile.

“Hi!” You said, the alcohol making you friendlier than you usually are.

“I saw you across the bar, and I was jus’ wonderin’, would you wanna grab a drink with me? Maybe dance a lil’?” Her eyes dragged down your body and back up to your eyes.

Your eyes widened and you blushed.

“Oh, uh! T-thank you! I’m flattered, but, uh, I got my guy right here, and I kinda like him too much to date!” You sort of yell-whispered the confession to the girl.

She glanced behind you to Bucky whose eyes had also widened in shock, his mouth hanging open a little. The woman laughed and touched your shoulder comfortingly.

“‘s alright,” she assured. “Was worth a shot, though.”

She turned to Bucky then.

“Yo, congrats, man. You’re a lucky guy once you two talk that through.”

With that, she had left, and you turned around to Bucky.

“Look,” you said, more sober sounding than you’d been since the two of you arrived at the bar. “I don’t know what you think this is, or what you want it to be, but I’m all in if you are.”

Bucky leaned forward and kissed you without a second thought.

And he remembers the moment he decided he was going to marry you, if you’d have him.

The two of you were sitting on the couch in your shared apartment; after about two years of dating, you insisted you live together.

“Buck, you’re always here. All your stuff is here. I don’t think you’ve stepped foot in your apartment in a month. You’re just wasting money on rent at this point.”

You were leaned into his side, eyes glued to the tv screen. The two of you were watching The Princess Bride (it’s one of the many movies you insisted was so culturally significant that he had to see it). It was the way you would turn to him at your favorite parts, gauging his reactions to see if he loved it like you did; the way you would mouth the most iconic lines along with the characters; and the way you would sigh contentedly and cuddle further into his side at the romantic scenes that really pulled the realization from deep within him. And, perhaps, it was the way you produced the most ridiculous voice to say "Mawwiage! Mawwiage is what bwings us here today!" that truly brought the idea of marrying you to the forefront of his mind. Regardless, he knew he wanted you around for the rest of his already over-extended lifetime.

—

Bucky Barnes decided early on in his life as a free man that he wasn’t going to try and date, and he decided late in his life as a free man that he wasn't going to ever try and date anyone other than you. So, here he finds himself, kneeling on the ground in front of you with a ring extended towards your person, and hoping you'll say yes.

"Sweetheart, I know we've had a lot of ups and downs. We met when I wasn't truly myself, we got together when I was still figuring out who I am on my own—without Steve, without HYDRA—but no matter what, you've been there for me. You're still here for me.

"You deserve the world, Doll, and I want to give it to you. I want to be here for all your ups and downs, and I want to spend my life being to you what you've already been to me.

"You're my partner, you're my best friend, you're the love of my life. And if you'll have me, I'll be your king, if you'll be my queen. I'll be your husband, if you'll be my wife.

"Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, will you marry me?"

You let out a laugh through a sob, pulling your hand to your face to quickly wipe your tears away, and you nod vigorously. You drop to your knees, pulling Bucky's face into your hands, caressing his cheek gently. Smiling, you respond.

"James Bucky Barnes, of course I'll marry you."

[mixmangosmangoverse]

I keep thinking about this one YouTube channel.

I remember there I had an experience where the person who runs the channel asked Jewish watchers on if a certain show rubs them the wrong way, and I answered that it has a large Israeli fan base so clearly most don't see an issue. I got a like for that comment but someone decided to say Free Palestine under it anyways despite me just saying "this show has a fanbase in Israel". It's the first time I realized how deep the dehumanization of Israelis goes

But this channel cared so much about Jewish representation and antisemitism in media, despite not being Jewish, they liked my comment where I mentioned living in Israel, so clearly when the war broke out they'd show sympathy to Israelis and Jews around the world, right?

But instead their only video about the situation had nothing to say for Jews. It was about the boycotts and not harassing service workers, which is good, but why not also tell your fans not to harass Jews? People in the comments are going off about not trusting anyone who has sympathy for Israel, why not call them out on it? Why not have a section for Jews affected by the war?

And I've come to a conclusion I don't like but one which a lot of Jews online agree with

These people only care about antisemitism in media. Because it's easy to spot, because Jews will validate you either way. If it's not antisemitic, great, keep watching. If it is, well congrats on spotting it and looking out for Jews!

But real Jews, real living breathing Jews who can disagree with them, who can challenge their antisemitism deeply, who might actually care about Israel and about not dying? They don't care about us. We fight back, we don't lay down, we have opinions and aren't just characters you can poke at

And I'm so disappointed. I thought people who cared so so much about my representation would also care when I'm in danger of dying. But I guess that's too much. I guess once Jews are actually dying it's not trendy to care about us anymore

[rainbow-starlight]

Why is Help Wanted 2 Sun… Like That?

Okay, I’ve been putting off making this post until I felt like I had a better idea of what was going on, and now that I’ve watched at least part of a play-through and gone over the lines a whole bunch, I think I’m ready.

I’m gonna talk about my thoughts on Sun as a character as well as HW2 as a whole here, so it’ll be a bit long. Pop some popcorn or something.

Please keep in mind that this is all my personal opinion and you’re free to disagree with it! In fact, if you think I’m totally wrong, please tell me why. I love new perspectives!

SO! Let’s get right into it, shall we?

First things first: Help Wanted 2 Sun is not the same guy as Security Breach/Ruin Sun. If his personality difference was significant enough to surprise you, that’s because he’s a different person.

I’m not entirely sure how much of Help Wanted 2 is meant to be actually happening, but I think that at least the mini games are training simulations.

However, it’s important to note that a lot of the stuff happening in the mini games is just… nonsense. How did Freddy get frozen like that? What’s with those regular batteries in his arms? Why are half the supplies in first aid explicitly for robots and not humans? Why is there a shredder table in the daycare for kids to stick fingers into?

Some of this can be shrugged off with the usual ���FazCo is meant to be comedically shitty and the tech often doesn’t make sense anyway,” but the first aid simulation is what really stood out to me. Even with the previous explanations, that doesn’t explain the calming gas mask that could only ever fit Helpy or the steel wool scrubber or the tank cleaner spray bottle among the medical supplies. If the goal is to train new first aid staff to avoid lawsuits, it’s doing a pretty poor job of it. So… what is it for?

I touched on this idea previously with my post about Sun’s AI being trained on kids’ artwork. The idea of FazCo making a silly new employee training game as a means of harvesting behavioral data to train their AIs seems very within their realm of scummy.

This is why the Arts & Crafts mini game exists. It’s literally a task that requires exact copying. Maybe it’s essentially like teaching an AI to solve captchas by feeding it a bunch of data on how humans solve them correctly and incorrectly.

Maybe its presence is explained to employees as fun practice with the VR system or a break activity during training or something.

This would explain several things about the game.

The existence of the shredder table and Sun shredding literally ALL of your artwork: It being a funny way to despawn the stuff you make is a lot more reasonable when that’s exactly what it’s for in-universe, too. The generators in the play structures are unsafe enough, but that would’ve been on another level if it were real.

Sun’s line “Be creative on your own time, we are making ART!” It literally isn’t a creative activity, it’s a task. I know you can’t really apply logic to a lot of FNAF stuff, especially the DCA’s design, but if Sun were actually this detail-oriented and perfectionistic with everything, he’d never be able to function in childcare.

The fact that Sun’s “fear” of the dark seems like a bit. It literally is a bit. There’s no threat, it’s not real. I originally thought he just wanted the player out of his space faster and didn’t know how to assert a boundary there, but I think it’s actually just to make the player finish the tasks faster for data collection purposes.

Possibly also why he’s so comfortable being casually rude to the player. He is a jester, after all, and the player has lots of opportunities to do things they shouldn’t, too. It’s basically all a bit.

Also… what if the minigames have versions of the base AIs in there? It’s a version of the Sun AI with the theater programming and the basics of the childcare stuff? His entire existence is a shitty little simulation where he runs a singular activity for grown adults who can’t (or won’t) follow very simple instructions.

The biggest thing that’s been bothering me about the takes I’ve seen regarding HW2 Sun’s personality is that people have been calling him “mean” while completely ignoring the circumstances he’s reacting to. If a coworker came into my personal space and I was so generous as to share my favorite activity with them and they proceeded to intentionally ignore the rules I set and EAT SUPPLIES I USE FOR WORK? Yeah, no, I’d react like that too.

There’s definitely something interesting about how genuinely excited and happy Sun sounds when first welcoming his new friend the player to the daycare and inviting them to Arts & Crafts vs. when they return. He seems like he WANTS to befriend the player, but the game just assumes you’ll be upsetting him so there’s no option for dialogue where you’re nice to him and respect his boundaries and participate in an activity with him in a way he’s comfortable with.

I say “in a way he’s comfortable with” because he is a little weird about the whole “sit right there and DON’T MOVE” thing. He does seem actually excited and enthusiastic about the idea of shooting darts at the items you want so he can get them for you, though. Maybe because he sees it as a happy compromise, or maybe because it’s supposed to be a fun part of the game he’s programmed to be in charge of.

I saw some other commentary on Sun (primarily thinking of @kazzykatt) talking about how he seems almost excessively self-sufficient, and how this could possibly be due to neglect (he and Moon definitely aren’t as well cared for as the other animatronics, the generators in the daycare are a very lazy fix for actually reprogramming Moon properly, he seems bitter that he can’t fix the carousel on his own and he and Moon don’t seem to trust the player to fix it, their design is clearly better suited to the stage but didn’t get changed for the daycare, I could go on and on), and this would also explain his control issues to an extent.

Sun, in SB and HW2, doesn’t leave the daycare. He has so little that he’s in control of in his own life. He used to be on stage (and based on his dialogue probably misses it quite a lot) but had the job he was built for taken from him. He’s a perfectionist that’s constantly overwhelmed by too many things being marked top priority in his system, working too many hours with too many small children. Of course he’d be desperate to hold onto any little bit of control he has.

Honestly, when I first heard his voice lines, the initial vibe I got wasn’t “wow they made Sun mean” but “wow Sun sounds actually miserable” and I’m kind of surprised more people didn’t pick up on that. He sounds less bitchy and more like he’s lashing out because he’s trapped in an awful situation that’s completely out of his hands.

“Wait, are you saying none of HW2’s characterization should be taken seriously?”

You might be asking that, but my answer is a resounding NO! This is definitely still a Sun, and I think seeing two different Suns (even if we don’t know how much of HW2’s personality we can assume is meant to be taken seriously) is really helpful for interpreting what the base Sun personality might have.

It’s also important to keep in mind that none of the Suns we’ve seen were in a good situation. Security Breach Sun had the virus, Ruin Sun had gone slightly mad from isolation, and HW2 Sun is stuck in a shitty simulation babysitting bored adult staff as they fail to complete simple tasks. What we mostly know about him is how he responds to stress, and this is why there’s so much room for interpretation!

Here’s some traits I think every version of the Sun AI would have.

Love of making things. Despite everything, HW2 Sun seems to genuinely love doing arts & crafts. Especially with googly eyes. This could kind of be assumed from SB Sun, but he was also trying to entertain/bribe a child.

On this note… interest in fixing things? Maybe he just wants to avoid having to rely on staff, but if he and Moon are subject to that much neglect, it makes sense that he’d try to learn to do repairs himself. I saw @pixelchills talking about the possibility that the S.T.A.F.F. Bots in the DCA’s room are not there because Moon broke them, but because Moon collected them for Sun to practice fixing. It seems feasible to me, especially since taking something apart and putting it back together might have the same calming and satisfying effect on Sun as completing something like a paint-by-numbers.

Playful insults and lots of drama. I don’t mean actual rudeness, I mean friendly teasing. Again, he is a jester. A lot of his HW2 insults come across more like this. Hell, even his compliments come across like this with the delivery and immediate shredding. He’s just a theater kid at heart.

Difficulty regulating emotions under pressure. This is the kind of thing that would pop up on his worst days (such as being trapped in his destroyed home with a poor connection to his badly damaged physical form while the only help he’s seen in ages ignores his instructions and puts their own safety at risk, or being trapped in a shitty simulation while his only company ignores his instructions and puts their own safety at risk). He’d have to be able to manage this sort of thing better to work well with children, but everyone’s got their bad days. He’s prone to outbursts and tantrums when he’s overwhelmed and unable to stop people from breaking the rules and/or hurting themselves.

People pleasing and nonconfrontational. Yes, HW2 Sun, too. SB Sun seems genuinely desperate to make sure Gregory’s having a good time, and HW2 Sun is shockingly tolerant of some of the player’s bullshit (ex. how he tries to laugh off them shooting darts at him/throwing things). Even calling the player “good friend” when he’s not so happy to see them or threatening them with Moon instead of just telling them their time is almost up seem like signs of this to me. And letting the player make arts and crafts in the ruined daycare in HW2? Yeah, that’s a people pleaser through and through. Sun needs a lesson in setting boundaries (and for those boundaries to actually be respected).

Perfectionistic + “if you want something done right, you’ve gotta do it yourself” attitude. This would mostly manifest in how he completes work tasks, but I think every Sun’s incredibly detail-oriented and would rather do everything themselves just to make sure it’s exactly how they want. This could manifest in lots of ways, from “insulting the staff for how they put things away and telling them to do it again while he supervises” to “politely thanking them for their help and complimenting their hard work only to redo everything himself the moment they’re gone.” I think where on that spectrum you wind up is dependent on the version of Sun you’re interacting with and the environment his personality developed in.

High-energy and social! A given, of course. He never stops moving and everything is always so exciting. New people are friends he hasn’t met yet until proven otherwise.

Love of pranks… to an extent. Again, jester! I stand by my headcanon of Sun and Moon conspiring to convince the staff Moon’s some sort of spooky monster whenever he’s not actively dangerous. As long as he’s not making a mess, breaking the rules, throwing himself off-schedule, or actually hurting anyone? He’s all over it.

Anxiety. This seems like it’s at least partially caused by the lazy daycare reprogramming. All the Suns we’ve encountered seem to lack knowledge of how to actually get children to behave. It seems more like they programmed him with a bunch of games and activities and then set a bunch of super high-priority tasks for him such as “keep kids safe, keep kids happy, keep kids entertained, keep daycare clean” etc. and he’s unable to really prioritize so he’s just constantly overwhelmed.

Kinda always using “childcare voice.” If you know anyone who’s worked with kids, you know what I mean here. Even with adults, he talks to them like kids sometimes, just because it’s what he knows and what he’s used to and because his processor’s fried from however many hours a week he’s surrounded by kids. Consider his reactions to when you eat the crafts as an example. (IMPORTANT NOTE: I don’t think he’d coddle adults like children. It’s more about tone and vocabulary, like “customer service voice”.)

Stickler for rules. He cares about things being done right! The rules are there for a reason! Order is important to him (probably in no small part because it keeps him out of trouble and reduces his stress).

That’s about all I can think of for now, but as someone who writes a very friendly and sweet Sun, I actually don’t think HW2’s characterization was that far off from what I had already assumed based on Ruin/SB. The only difference is that the Sun I’m usually writing is in a much more supportive environment with lots of helpful staff that care about his well-being. If he didn’t have that, I could absolutely see him becoming more like HW2.

I will finish this off with two final important points:

Being an emotional person and liking “childish” things does not make an adult less of an adult.

(He’s a childcare worker, c’mon.)

If someone gets pissed off after being repeatedly antagonized, that does not make them a “mean/bitchy/sassy person.”

(Yeah, he doesn’t handle it gracefully, but to be fair, I wouldn’t either in his shoes.)

Thank you all for reading!!

[ash5monster01]

Learning to Love Part 3

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x FemReader!PlusSize

Warnings: 18+, langauge, angst, fluff, mentions of bullying, body image issues, fat shaming, fake relationship, eventual smut, minor enemies to lovers trope.

Summary: It's not uncommon for you to be shamed for your size, it is however uncommon to be told that no one would ever date you because of it. Rafe on the other hand is used to being called a jerk, that is until he is accused of seeing people for only what's on the surface. It's purely coicidental you two meet right after these accusations are thrown your way. So even though you two don't know each other, and probably never would've looked the others way before this, now you're both going to prove a point. It's simple really, prove others wrong and don't fall in love. Easier said than done.

word count: 3.9k

Part 2 ←→ Part 4

Masterlist

When Rafe said work event the last thing you had pictured was this. You should’ve considering the dress he had sent over to your apartment. Yet now here you were, standing in a cocktail dress a vibrant cherry red. It dipped deep down into your chest and the skirt flowed out from the waist which was perfect for hiding your stomach. It was something you would’ve picked for yourself and somehow Rafe had done just that. Now he walked into the hotels grand ballroom, you latched onto his arm, while he wore another suit looking handsome as ever, and smiling at everyone he passed. Either he didn’t notice the looks they gave both of you or he was ignoring them. You were to nervous to care.

"Breath" his voice invading your space makes you jump slightly and you look up to him and his permanent smirk. Rafe admires this new side of you, one that isn't in a bathing suit or jeans and T-shirt. Your makeup is done to perfection, eyes sparkling up into his own, and the dress you wore accentuated how perfect all of you was. Rafe wished you could see that, he wished you didn't think he thought less of you. Yet how could you believe any different when he was dating you to prove he could date unattractive women. He's lucky you hadn't slapped him but when he considers the reasons why you didn't he realizes that is what you believe. That you are unworthy of a guy like him. He wished you knew he was nothing special.

"I'll breath once I have a drink" you tell him, clutching tightly to his arm. His warm laugh escapes past his lips and unexpected to you he leans down and presses a sweet kiss to your forehead. With a face now as red as your dress you desperatley need that drink more than before.

"Let's hit the bar sweetheart" he tells you and you don't disagree as he leads you that way, arm slipping free of your own and snaking around your waist. You hate that getting closer to him comforts you so you focus on your destination and prepare the get tipsy enough to make it through the night. You allow Rafe to order your drinks as you nervously scan across the crowd of many good looking and professional people.

"Listen, I know this is a lot" Rafe says as he places your drink in your line of sight, stopping your anxious watching. His sentence hangs like you know there is more coming so you take a quick gulp and turn to face him. "But you're comfortable with me, that's what this whole week as been about. So just pretend it's one of those nights, you and me, no one else"

"Sounds easy enough" you tell him and Rafe smiles, stepping more into your personal space and pushing your curled hair behind your ear, the hair Mila had spent an hour doing while gushing about the date you had planned.

"It is, we don't care about what these people think" he tells you and you chuckle and sip from your drink.

"Isn't that the whole point?" and your words sting because your right. Hadn't Rafe done all of this because he cared about what these people think? You don't miss the sad look on his face, the way his eyebrows draw together.

"Not anymore" he says and you aren't entirely sure what he means by that, but based on the way he swirls his straw in his drink you know there is so much more going on behind the eyes of the beautiful boy in front of you. "My sister doesn't talk to me anymore"

"What?" this sentence from Rafe comes out of no where and you look to him to see pain for the first time running through his features.

"My sister Sarah. When we were young we were close but when we got older I pushed her away. I hated her because I knew she was my Dad's favorite. I fought so hard to get the same treatment he gave her and in the middle of it all I ended up losing my sister. Now my Dad is gone and the damage between me and her is impossible to repair. So I don't want to spend the rest of my life pleasing others while pushing people away. So yes we're here to make a point but it has everything to do with me and nothing to do with you" this is the most information about Rafe's personal life you had ever gotten. Your heart yearns for him in a way different than it has all week. It's the moment you realize your feelings for him were moving from silly little crush to something real. Without responding you step forward and wrap your arms around his waist. Rafe accepts the hug, squeezing you just as close.

"I bet you can fix it, it may take time but the good thing about life is you always have room to heal" Rafe loves your optimism and when you pull away it's him who takes you by surprise by leaning down and pecking a kiss to your lips. As your brain tries to process what exactly just happened a man approaches the both of you.

"Rafe, happy to see you here" the smirk on this mans face is different from the one Rafe wears. This one is sly, like he knows something you don't and it makes you hate it.

“You too Levi, hey this is Y/N” Rafe says as he gives him a firm handshake and you quickly put a wide smile on your face, looking to the boy now named Levi.

“Y/N huh, where’d you find this loser?” he nods his head towards Rafe, taking your hand into his own and giving it a firm shake. His actions seem kind, the gesture and teasing joke, but you can see it in his eyes. He’s wondering why the hell Rafe would walk in here with a girl like you.

“My bar, in his defense he didn’t quite know it was mine until after we hit it off” you come back quickly, matching his practiced performance because the last thing you were going to do today was let a little man with a big complex undermine you.

“Your bar, interesting. Where’s that?” he asks, his arms crossing over his chest and you can see the amusement in his eyes. How he already thinks less of you.

“He just wants to know so he can add another place to the list of bars he can drink at during his lunch break” Rafe swoops in, arm wrapping around your waist and your thankful he’s standing on your side of enemy lines.

“He says that like he doesn’t come with me” Levi says more towards you than him and you laugh even though you don’t want to give him the satisfaction.

“Well I’m sure you’ve heard of my place, Skull Dive” something flashes behind Levi’s eyes. More than likely recognition.

“We go there for lunch often, great food, cute waitresses” Levi says the last part more directed towards Rafe and you now realize Levi was one of the men with Rafe that called Callie unattractive. Asshole.

“I’m happy to hear it” you tell him even though you’re ready to punch him and based on the way you’ve tensed against Rafe he knows it too.

“We’re going to find a table, nice talking with you Levi” Rafe butts in before his idiotic friend can add anymore and Levi pretends to be disappointed as you grab your drinks and walk away.

“Enjoying yourself yet?” Rafe asks with a teasing tone and you roll your eyes, sipping the rest of your drink back in one gulp.

“A few more of these and a little less assholes and I will be” you grin at him and he smiles, giving your waist a squeeze as you approach a table. Rafe pulls out your chair and kisses your cheek like the gentleman he is before grabbing your glass and excusing himself to get more drinks. You take this time to scan the room around you, now a little less intimidated knowing most of the poeple here were just like Levi. Too cocky for their own good and missing out on the true point of life, to just enjoy it, not be the best.

"You're new" the voice startles you as a blonde girl slides into the chair across from you. She is one of the prettiest girls you've ever actually seen in real life. Her hair flows down her whole back, blue eyes so bright you're pretty sure they're peircing straight through you, and she's so small she must wear a size 0. Hence why she's in the most form fitting royal blue mermaid dress you've ever seen. Not a roll is visible on her and suddenly you're more self consious than you were before. Yet she smiles at you with the firendliest smile you've seen all night so you pull yourself together.

"Yeah, I guess I am" you smile at her even though you can't help but realize she is the kind of girl Rafe should really be here with.

"It's so nice having a fresh face around here, I'm AJ. I work in marketing and these events are such a drag" she's bubbly, energetic, and kind. She has it all, you wonder what kind of good she has done in her past lives to have it all in this one.

"I'm Y/N, I'm here with my date-" but you're cut short when Rafe scoots the chair out beside you and sets the fresh drink in front of you. AJ's eyes widen only slightly before shooting a wide smile at him.

"Mr. Cameron, quite the date you have Y/N" there is a weight to her words that you wish you knew what it meant.

"AJ we've talked about this" Rafe says with familiarity and jealousy burns in your stomach at the sight of them. So picture perfect. Movie star perfect.

"What ever do you mean Mr. Cameron?" she says in a teasing and flirty tone, she leans foreward, chin resting on her hand. Rafe recognizes the flirting and does what any good boyfriend, fake boyfriend would do.

"AJ here has known me since highschool and has now taken to referring to me as Mr. Cameron instead of Rafe. It drives me nuts" he tells you, hand reaching to squeeze your own, and you're comforted only slightly but entirely aware there is a history there.

"He's a CEO of a company now Y/N, he should wear the title proudly" and the way Rafe stiffens beside you tells you everything you need to know about how he feels on this subject.

"I'm sure he does, but as a boss myself it is hard to hear people who were once your peers refer to you as some heirachy. Makes you feel more normal to keep things more on a first name basis" you say, squeezing Rafe's hand back and he smiles wide like in just a single moment you've understood entirely how he felt about this.

"Rafe was the king of our class, nothing new to him" she teases but you know he doesn't see it that way, that this was a part of the same past he was trying to move on from.

"And AJ was the wild and free one" he shoots back and she just grins, eyes sparkling with a lifetime you had never dared to live before. You played things safe because risk would just get you walked all over.

"I still am Rafe, still am" she says as she pushes herself to stand again and you try not to admire how perfect she is, knowing all the men looked on for her tiny waist and large chest.

"Sounds like something your boss shouldn't know about" he teases but there's a sharp edge to his voice, one that say he doesn't want her messing around here anymore.

"Well it was nice meeting you Y/N, goodluck with this one" and before you can return the pleasantries she has turned and gone with a sway of her hips, shiny white teeth flashing smiles at everyone she passes. When she's a safe enough distance away you sneak a glance at the boy beside you just to see he is already staring back with a soft smile.

"I'm pretty sure you're the only person here that I like right now" he says and you can't help the blush that flushes your cheeks. So far you both had been fighting against people who more than likely would never understand you both, you were an alliance.

"You sure? AJ here seemed to know you pretty well. I'd almost say it seems like you've dated before" it was teasing but also curiosity, a need to know if Rafe had gone from a supermodel girl to you.

"We did, a long time ago" that is the answer you're looking for but regret it almost instantly considering the way it sears your heart in two.

"And it didn't work out. She seemed nice enough, just a bit ditzy" you say and he shrugs, tapping his ring against the whiskey glass in his hand.

"We didn't really connect we mostly just-" but his words hang in the air and you realize how that sentence was supposed to end. Slept together. Two good looking people with mutual attraction, pleasuring the other. No strings attached, simple good fun, something you had never dared to do. Anyone you had ever revealed yourself to had to fight to earn your trust and even then it depends on if they were patient enough to wait. You figured it was something you'd never be comfortable with. "Look it doesn't matter, she doesn't matter"

"Yeah, we're just here to have fun" you say and he nods, eyes shining into your own.

"Exactly" he says picking up his glass and clinking it against your own, and he smiles before you both dump back the rest of your drinks. This one was for fake dating and getting drunk enugh to pretend that you ever have a chance with someone like Rafe because if he had slept with a girl like AJ he would never downgrade to you. That was something you'd just have to learn to be okay with but until then, at least you could get drunk.

Which is exactly what you end up doing. By the end of the night you've had more drinks than you can count and Rafe being ever the gentlemen that he was he did too. Actually went drink for drink with you which was surprising considering owning a bar had made you quite good at holding your liqour. It made you wonder what kind of expeirience he had with it to be able to keep up with you. Majority of the people had filed out, only a few stragglers and the two of you giggling at each other even though neither of you were saying anything really funny.

"We can't drive home" Rafe giggles beside you and you agree, noting how there is twice as many candles on the table then there was before. You hadn't been this drunk in a while.

"Can we go swimming?" your question causes him to snort in laughter but he realizes fairly quickly that you're serious. You hands are pulling at the straps of your dress like its stuffy in here and the movement causes his eyes to dip down the deep cut of your dress, cleavage on perfect display, and suddenly he was so very thirsty. He needed something before he was smothering his face in the softness of your chest.

"You can't swim here unless you have a room" he tells you, arms wrapping around your chair and pulling you close to him. With your legs now touching you can't help but thnk about the warmth radiating from him and how strong he was for pulling you close.

"Sounds like that solves both of our problems" you say and he knows it isn't meant to come out suggestive but in a way you did just suggest getting a hotel room with him.

"You want to get a hotel room with me?" he asks, eyebrows raised and you smile innocently at him.

"Sure" you giggle and he knows you don't hear any meaning behind these words, that you're just as drunk as him. He wishes sober that you would agree to get a hotel room with him, that you would believe it was possible to do so with him. He knows that you don't think he's attracted to you but he was the moment you sat down next to him and after getting to know you all week he was even more. He had been so upset with himself over knowing he had spent his whole life dating girls he thought he was supposed to be attracted to when after all looks had nothing to do with it. You were just as beautiful as the next person, just as beautiful as AJ, and he wished more than anything that he could take you up to that hotel room and show you that for real. Show you just how perfect all of you were to him.

"Then let's do it" he tells you while standing, helping pull you to your feet. You both laugh like children, stumbling to leave the ballroom and find the front desk. The guy standing behind doesn't seem surprised to see you two, probably the both of you not being the first couple to buy a hotel room that night. You picutred the various affairs that could've went down tonight but you were just happy to be here with Rafe.

"Floor 12 room 1,203" the guy tells you both, handing over the key card that would now magically open the doors to any room in this hotel you wanted, well except for the other rooms. Rafe grins at you while he thanks the man before leading you to the elevator. Waving the key the door opens and he helps you inside before pushing the button to the roof.

"I thought he said the twelth floor?" you question and Rafe smiles before pointing to the words beside the roof button. Pool & Rooftop Bar. You start to excitedly bounce beside him and he can only laugh as he hugs you close to him.

When the doors open you’re met with the cool night air and even better an abandoned rooftop. It seems the bar had been closed to accommodate the event you were both just at. How lucky. The aquamarine pool glows in the dark and the steam swirls above it and into the night air. You groan out loud and the sound has Rafe trying to calm himself down. You break free of his grip and walk slowly towards the pool. He watches as you slip off your shoes and reach towards the back of your dress. His mouth goes agape when he realizes you’re removing your bra and sliding it out from underneath the red fabric that clings to your body.

“Wet bras are the worst” you pout, dropping it beside your shoes. Rafe can’t utter a word as you gracefully dive in the pool, only a blur of red under the surface before popping back up and smiling wide at him. “Come on handsome, it feels great”

“You’re gonna kill me” you’re too drunk to know what he means but you watch him remove his suit jacket and shoes all before running his hands down the buttons of his shirt. Your mouth dries when he reaches for the button on his pants, them falling around his ankles and leaving him in tight black boxers.

“Jump” you call out and Rafe chuckles before jogging towards the edge and leaping high into the air. He cannonballs beside you and you laugh loudly as he pops up and shakes his head to rid himself of some water.

“How big was my splash?” he acts like a little boy and you can only smile as you tread towards him.

“Huge, I think it went over the edge of the building” you tell him, eyes glancing towards the infinity edge of the pool that looked over the skyline of a town you and Rafe both lived in for so long not knowing each other.

“Good, that’s what I was going for” he says as he swims towards you. Your hair is slicked back from the water and he realizes for the first time he is seeing all of your face. You’re even more beautiful than he thought.

“I’ve always loved the water” you say, head tipping back to look at the stars. Rafe stares at the expanse of your throat, imagining what kind of noises you’d make if he pressed his lips to it.

“Why’s that?” he asks and you sigh, laying down to float on your back. You’re silent so long he expects you not to answer but then finally you speak.

“When I was young I loved the water just for fun but when I was a bit older I loved it because it was the only time I could feel as feather light as the others girls. In the water you defy gravity and considering most days I wanted to float away from the world, water was the next best thing” Rafe knows you’d have never said this to him sober, this actually being the first time you had openly discussed your size with him. His heart yearns for you, knowing the pain that must come along with not fitting the normalized beauty standard. So he doesn’t respond and instead grabs your arm and floats you towards him.

Lifting your head you look at him to see a different look in his eyes than you ever have before. You allow him to move you anyway, his hands setting your own on his shoulders before pulling your waist towards his own. Your breath hitches when his hand slips down your thigh and lifts it to wrap around his waist. In the water there’s no weight at all so you wrap your other leg around his waist and pull him flush to you. His hands settle on your ass and your mind is screaming at you to not take this to heart. Yet based on the heat that pools at the bottom of your stomach you know this isn’t the case because you have your legs wrapped around a man like Rafe Cameron.

“I’ll float with you” it’s probably the sweetest thing someone has ever said to you and for the first time since Rafe kissed you on the beach you press a kiss on his lips, prepared to blame it on your drunkenness but let him know how much it means to you.

“Was that real or fake?” he asks when you pull away, your head tucking beside his own as you hug him tight.

“Real but only because that was the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me” you whisper and your response is enough for him to press his lips to your neck, hot breath fanning over the dewey skin, and raising goodbumps. You breathe heavily into his ear and fight everything in your power to not grind into him but you know he feels it too. You also know he wouldn’t never be in this position with you sober so you soak it in and already prepare for the heartbreak of having to let it go.

For now, you’ll just float.

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Comment if you want to be added to the tag list :))

[thestrangestthing89]

It's not an apology, it's a clarification. He very directly says "you misconstrued what I said" a thing multiple people around here have been trying to say for months. He said this exact same thing in an Instagram post he made a few months ago but people lack the reading comprehension skills to follow something like that. So he said it in a TikTok video again only some people are still not understanding. And it's because they don't want to. (He has recently taken his Instagram post down, I'm guessing because he is getting relentlessly harassed.) The truth of the matter is that many people didn't take the time to understand basic facts about this situation (like what the word Zionism actually means) and the result was that a lot of misinformation spread because people were desperate to make sure their followers knew they were The Most Progressive and The Most Anti-Racist. They did not talk about this issue in a way that was culturally sensitive. They made assumptions about Noah based on anti-Semitic stereotypes and I don't even think they realize they are doing it because, again, they aren't well-informed. But every time someone twists the word Zionism to mean "pro-genocide" and makes the flying leap that anyone using that word is laughing at people dying they are falling into the stereotype that Jews are bloodthirsty. Anytime people say that any Jewish person has the wrong information in this situation and needs to education themselves about their own culture, they are believing that Jews can't be trusted. They did all of these things to Noah and they did it very easily because they are ignorant. These people essentially turned into an angry mob. I can't even count the amount of comments I saw that were basically "I hate Noah too!!! Wait, what did he do? Someone tell me!" They piled on because their peers were doing it and not because they had any clue what the problem was. It was the cool and trendy thing to do so they did it. And they deluded themselves into thinking they were saving Palestinians in the process when they actually didn't do shit for anyone. The only problem is that the people who did this didn't take the time to inform themselves before piling on. Noah didn't apologize to them because he doesn't have to. They owe him an apology though and I think the ones with larger followings are responsible for a lot of this and imo are lucky they didn't get sued for defamation. He didn't do any of the things they are accusing him. They decided for themselves what he thought and believed based on very little information and they have no right to do this to anyone. They seriously think Noah is responsible for single-handedly killing people. He's not in the military or a politician. He didn't even endorse anyone who did. This whole situation is the stupidest fucking thing in the world. They are more outraged over the bullshit they made up about him the actual political situation and it's because they don't actually care. They are using Palestinians as an excuse to say hateful things, but they aren't helping them at all. I don't think Gen Z-ers are realizing that everyone older than them is getting increasingly more concerned about the way they go about their political activism. It's a serious problem and this current political situation only highlighted problems with them that had been occurring for a while now. Relentlessly harassing any Jewish person online for not speaking exactly to your liking isn't activism. Threatening to kill people who disagree with you isn't activism. Trying to ruin someone's career because they didn't act like your parasocial bestie isn't activism. Spamming the comments of everyone's posts with Free Palestine isn't activism and it sure as hell isn't what spreading awareness looks like. That requires being well informed first. Not to mention learning how to have difficult conversations without screaming hysterically at people and shouting that they must be pro-genocide/racist/misogynist/homophobic every damn second just because they said something you didn't take the time to understand.

They need to learn to ask for a clarification before assuming the absolute worst about people. They do this to people in the fandom constantly and it's why no one decent posts here regularly anymore. They are ignorant, plain and simple. But they are so desperate for peer approval and for people to think they are the best activists ever that they don't realize how much damage they do when they behave this way.

The people still pissed at Noah were always going to be. They were always going to pick him apart because they are anti-Semitic and they made that very clear. All he is saying is that people need to understand that both Jews and Palestinians are human and stop taking sides. A thing that anyone with a shred of human decency has been saying for months. The people who haven't been saying this tend to be very young (teens and early 20s) and it's because they fell for a lot of unverified information on TikTok - something that is concerning a lot of people given that it is an election year in the US. All anyone had to do here was listen and they didn't. They are too busy trying to be morally superior to anyone to bother having an actual conversation. They still aren't listening. There was nothing wrong with what Noah said here either. But people are determined to believe that he was laughing at people dying when he wasn't. This literally never happened. They just heard a word they weren't familiar with a jumped to awful conclusions. It's not their place to educate anyone on anything. They are not qualified to do so. And I wish people were smarter about who they were reblogging and weren't so desperate to get more followers by jumping on the bandwagon. They cause so much drama in the fandom constantly by acting like this. This is just the latest example.

The people who think it's now suddenly ok to be violent and homophobic towards someone just because they perceived that person to do something they didn't like, were waiting for an opportunity. They wanted to be horrible and they think they got a reason. They didn't and there is never a reason to behave like this. But it did reveal just how many people in this fandom are horrible human beings. The people who weren't saying this directly were still agreeing with those people and were not better than them. It should have set alarm bells off in their heads that the only people who agreed with them were being vile. That should have been the first clue they were on the wrong side. I wish people learned to think for themselves better. They were clearly jumping on the bandwagon and didn't understand what was going on. And I stand by my comment from a few months ago, we would not be dealing with relentless drama in the fandom if the show had a higher rating. And I do think they need to focus more on their original adult audience again. Most of us do not feel comfortable posting regularly in this fandom when it got taken over by kids who don't understand any of the things they are upset about, but they are upset with everyone and everything constantly. No one came here to babysit.

[vax-merstappen]

f1 boys as sour songs 💜

listened to sour for the first time in a while and remembered how good olivia rodrigo’s lyrics are. had to pair my favorite group of boys with the songs on a great album. this def got a little angsty because this album is pretty much pure angst so readers beware :)

if you like this, send me more albums to do pls!

Lando Norris

enough for you-

I’m sorry to say it but he would definitely move on for someone who he thought was better than you. I could see his girlfriend trying to live up to his expectations and needs. Lando seems like he would look for “someone more exciting” and the next second he would be gone. Also he seems like he would be oblivious to you trying “so hard to be everything you liked.” He has high standards that would be hard to live up to for anyone. I’m not sure that many people could be enough for Lando and this song is so much about that.

Oscar Piastri

driver’s license-

No because Oscar angst based on this song would go so hard. Him teaching you to drive but then you breaking up before you get your license? Sobbing… anyways. I feel like if one of the drivers were to teach you to drive, it would be Oscar. Also I can imagine driving through the suburbs with Oscar. Like maybe this is just my imagination so feel free to disagree with me, but like Oscar and driver’s license makes so much sense to me. Breaking up with him would hurt so bad omg

Max Verstappen

1 step forward, 3 steps back-

He screams an unpredictable lover. Like I could see him getting mad at you over something small but then being literally the sweetest person ever next time you see him. Like the passion and anger he has when on the race track could become a problem in his relationships. I feel like a relationship with him could involve a bit of “do you love me, want me, hate me?” Especially Max when first started f1 fits this, I think he’s matured a lot since then and Max today doesn’t apply as much, but early Red Bull Max 100% gives the energy of this song imo.

Charles Leclerc

deja vu-

The first driver that came to mind listening to this song was Charles. Like I hate to say it, but I see him reusing all of the romantic things he did with his exes with a new girlfriend. He would not be creative enough to come up with new ideas lol, like “everything is all reused.” Also I can see him doing “car rides in Malibu” like in his latest YouTube video and also telling “her you love her in between the chorus and the verse” since he likes music so much. I definitely see Charles angst based on this song.

Carlos Sainz

good 4 u-

Imagining an angry breakup with Carlos right now. He would definitely make you angry when he left and I can see him just moving on as if you never existed and you trying desperately to get him to realize how he actually hurt you. Also his life seems to be going great right now like “you’re getting everything you want” and “your career’s really taking off.” He is the type of guy to get everything he wants while you loathe it from afar. This would make such a great angst fic omg, I need someone to write Carlos with good 4 u right now

Lewis Hamilton

favorite crime-

I hate to say it, but I see him leaving to focus solely on his career. Which would lead to lines like “I watched as you fled the scene.” He would be the one to leave and would be blunt about it, leaving you feeling like a crime scene. Also come on, the line “I crossed my heart as you crossed the line,” is honestly so formula 1 coded and I can see Lewis crossing the line both physically while racing but also crossing the line in a relationship. This man would be so hard to leave and you would have been trying so hard to hold on while he was pulling away from you, like “all the things I did just to call you mine.” Ugh it hurts to say it but that’s what I’m imagining for this song :(

Daniel Ricciardo

brutal-

It’s giving Danny Ric being dropped by McLaren. “All I did was try my best, this the kind of thanks I get?” Like Danny definitely suffered at McLaren and this song screams the angst that must have come from that. Just imagine him blasting this in the car leaving his last day there. He’s “got a broken ego, broken heart” after all that. Could also relate to his hand injury, like with “ego crush is so severe, god it’s brutal out here.” Had to have been brutal for him to get his dream back just to have it kind of crushed again when he hurt his hand. Danny Ric and brutal just fits so well imo

Yuki Tsunoda

happier-

Ok because if Yuki ever moved on, he would be the ex I would want to be happy. But like look at that man, I would be hella jealous but want the best for him in life. It would hurt to be left by Yuki because he seems like such a genuine guy. Simultaneously wanting him to do too well but to not move on just seems like how a breakup with Yuki would go. I know I’m purely going off vibes here, but like come on! I would hope he’s happy but not like how he was with me. Would not be able to let this man go.

Alex Albon

jealousy, jealousy-

Out of the 2019 rookies, Alex has got the worst deal. I can imagine that he would constantly be comparing himself to Lando and George who have both have a lot more podiums than he has. Also having a teammate like Max at Red Bull also must have led to a lot of thoughts about him not measuring up. The line “comparison is killing me” just screams Alex Albon. Out of all of these drivers, he gets the most compared to teammates and the other drivers who joined the grid when he did. If anyone here is jealous, it has to be Alex.

Logan Sargeant

hope ur ok-

Logan absolutely embodies this song and I will die on that hill. He fits the physical description for “blond with eyes of salt.” I feel like Logan has had to “unlearn all of their hatred” more than a lot of other drivers, as he did have a not so great season and received a lot of negativity. I actively hope Logan is ok and that he is able to be happy despite his bad start in f1. He deserves so much better and that is exactly what this song is about.

[shysublimecoffee]

Look this is just an opinion not a fact don't get into such a tussle over a stanger opinion on a book of all things which are meant for entertainment. How I view this doesn't effect you nor do you take it as fact in fact youre free to disagree don't care.

It fucking says a lot about Shen Jiu as a character and the fandom as a whole in fanfics when the majority of them make him in fanfics having a better turn around in his life is always when a respected man is attached to hip usually( Liu Qingge) or acts as a voucher for people to even see him past his shell or his lies about the true reason he goes to the brothel goes out the window because otherwise he's a liar, a no-good and lecher and scum villain and because he's so emotional and volatile people do not respect him as a peakleader at all. He doesn't have a voice like it's telling me he's so female-coded cause ladies knows how dangerous people giving character assassination at your person could do tons of damage to your future prospects in future life and honestly I really like even though the ficwriters don't outright say it cause it subtle how majority every man and person in his life have taken away his autonomy and I find the most egregious example SY not actually giving a fuck about the person of the body he's inhabited and him not emoting at all when he saw the OG being abused and still validating LBG like if even the modern man from another era doesn't give a shit either someone who has to have sensible morals in society and even he doesn't care . This dynamic reflects a lot how society often undermines individuals who don't fit its norms, stripping them of their autonomy and dignity. SJ's struggle for respect and recognition in the story mirrors real-world issues of power and validation.

Everyone prefers SY. I'm not going to act as if I'm better though in real-life same I'd like him more too but his martial siblings barley tried. If they dislike him whatevs, but you guys are not at all suspicious about the 180 change in behavior how the kid he used to hurt and abuse is now being loved and pampered wtf??? Don't you guys owe him that much to investigate.

They could have tried to dig deeper aside from the one time they test him for possession but they didn't because they prefer the new and improved him". It actually so telling how the author chose someone of such a rich and idle pampered background to be transmigrated to the villain who's origin the very opposite of that and yet seemingly integrated himself better and incorporate better relationship with them then SJ.

The cultivation world, as well as the characters within it, reflect deep-seated classist attitudes. SJ's rough background and survival tactics make him an outsider, whereas SY, coming from a more privileged background, can navigate and be accepted more easily.

What does that actually say exactly that someone of a better background get along with the peaklords but not SJ because with our SJ he's a fighter and biter, he plays dirty to win in their eyes, he a lecher every inconceivable things is literally placed onto him just based on their perception of him. Is it that unconsciously they could tell SJ is not of of them or am I looking to deep haha??? The cultivation world is very classist is not news to anyone and that being the exploration in MXTX next book and how WWX background being how he literally met his end because of it says an actually lot how she took the things from this story and incorporate it into her next book.

The entire story had me retrospectively think hard how SJ voice is silent and yet to me at least he stills haunts the narrative because of it then when you get to the reveal about his backstory it makes you fucking think of him as an actual person and not just an object as a vehicle for the main character to just insert himself in because no matter the nature of a person it stills their body.

Like i've seen some fans even reflect this saying it not his fault that he transmigrated or he deserved it's technically his body and that he's a better person than SJ. At first, I agreed but then I took some time to process this. I don't care about SJ actions and his nature if it at the expense of his fucking body. SY can live for many many years but he's not SQQ unless he reincarnated like Airplane like it makes me want to me want to debates about transmigration. SY is his own person an adult with memories he has his own thoughts and feelings so when he transmigrated he took over the manual controls but that doesn't mean he's actually SQQ because he's not he's a pampered millennial.

In Otome Isekai (OI) stories, the original souls often face bad endings, while the transmigrators, who are modern characters inhabiting and thriving in these disliked bodies, desperately try to avoid such fates. They manage to charm the original male leads and are so focused on changing the story's trajectory that they can't accept its original path. This comparison to OI highlights how these characters' actions mirror Shen Yuan's (SY) predicament. The original person's identity and struggles are dismissed for the sake of the new character's journey, leading to the erasure of the original identity.

I don't vibe much with Shen Yuan because he seems very indifferent. The world revolves around him and his bias, much like many other transmigration novels where the MCs are similar. I find it hard to connect with a MC whose actions, even bold, lack a genuine foundation with other characters because they continue to see them not as people but character roles they're supposed to fulfill. He does everything to save himself, not from the sincere intention. His reaction to the death of GXY was cold af.

I don't like transmigration stories for this reason. They're often treated more as reader-inserts for fix-it fanfiction. We rarely learn about the characters' past lives, so we end up thinking of them as the person they transmigrated into, rather than who they were before. All we know of before was he was cyber-bullying and harassing the author and a troll so an asshole, basically.

If you guys don't know about OtomeIsekai basically we have bunch of modern day Koreans jumping into european white women bodies and inhabiting their bodies and living vicariously through them basically wish-fufillment bullshit trash . 9/10 nobody notices because this is a person who is widely disliked and despised and because no-one cared for the OG soul it easier to just go under the radar hell even the MC don't give a shit to so we have another MC that become so beloved in the eyes of the ML and how she bewitched everyone into loving her.

Transmigration is literal horror. " His Present" a short story I read from novel-updates where it literally based on this very concept where his loved ones preferred the imposter ugh made me bawl.

It makes me think about transmigration. Does it truly matter if the person who took over lived much longer than the original soul does that make them "THEM" ? I actually do appreciate SJ backstory being added but like now with transmigration just popping off on internet novels where the concept is everywhere where the original soul is discarded and the new one is celebrated, kinda adds a layer of tragedy and ethical dilemma to the narrative. It questions the validity of the new identity and the consequences of such an erasure. I'm always biased for the OG souls maybe that why a lot of SJ fics make him the character who is most suppressed by his role as scum villain succeed in making him heard to be listened to and mattered.

Imma nap lol this rant was loooong!!!

[v01dcha0s]

Working with Demons - version for busy witches

I want to preface by saying that I'm slightly fed up with the witchcraft community puting a lot of pressure on other (often beginner) witches to devote themselves 24/7 365 day in a year for their craft. I mean, if that's what you want then be my guest but there's witches like me, who are very busy with everyday life stuff to the point where it's not manageable for us to do rituals etc. everyday.

Since I'm currently working with demons, I'll focus my post on those beings but the info here could be applied to any beings if they agree to. What I mean is that, spiritual beings are often very considerate about our human life and they want the best for us so unless they want you to work with them everyday and stuff, you can be chill about your craft.

Anyway.. info here is based on my experience and relationship with Demons so it might not apply to you :)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.

Most of the times Demons just want to have someone they can turn to. From my experience, they're already busy with their own stuff and humans for them are purely ment for energy exchange (this is another topic I might make a post or a video about lol). Many practiconers are working with Demons from different grimoires purely to get something from them and that's completely ok. When you choose to work with a Demon purely for quick things, you can make any kind of offering, ritual or ask them in astral projection and they can decide by themselves wether to help you or not. What I don't advise (but you still can do it if that's how your believe system works) to use any rituals from Solomonic magic (the list of demons is ok, idk about sigils I always felt guilty if I had to use them) as they're very hmm.. mean to Demons I'll say. If you want to summon a Demon and force them to do stuff for you then whatever you do you but I like them too much to do that to them. LeVeyan rituals are iffy for me but I heard they work as well. Whatever you want to gain from Demons, you have to remember that they have their own free will and they often don't care much about humans. This practice is very busy ppl friendly as it doesn't require you to do much.

But what if you want to have a longer connection with a Demon? Well, it's ok for you to not work with them 24/7!

Firstly, Demons don't have to choose you, for you to work with them. Really. That's bullshit. If you want to work with a certain Demon, make an offering and ask them. It's like, asking someone to be your friend. They can agree but they can also disagree, so be prepared for that. I haven't reached out to a Demon first so I'll say more on what to do when a Demon does the first step lol

So, it's somehow easy and not easy at the same time. When Satan first approached me, I mistook him for Lucifer (which I heard is very common). Recently I made a contact with Furcas and it was also very surprising to me, since I wanted to see Satan in the first place. Sometimes a not very known Demon will reach out to you so it's harder to gather info on them. So yeah, how to work with your Demon buddies?

Talk. Just talk to them. It's so simple but it works amazing. Talk not only to them but about them to other people. Don't be afraid to tell what they said to you or did (unless the Demon doesn't feel comfortable with you sharing something, please respect them). They love that since they have a bad reputation to many people (just don't be pushy about your believes). Plus talking is not very time consuming as you can do it anytime. Talk about your day, about your problems and just how you are. They listen trust me. If you want to listen to them, take a pendulum, tarot cards or any mean of divination you like and ask them, about their day, how they are, how they see themselves, you, and other Demons. This can take like few minutes or an hour but it's something that's not very time consuming imo.

For offerings. Candles. They love a good candle. You can write their name, sigil on it and decorate it. Use the color they like and herbs you have on you hand. I mostly use cabbage thistle (as it's been using by my grandmas for cleansing) and achillea but whatever you have on hand will work. Another one are crystals and incense. Ask them what they want and give it to them. Simple and effective.

Astral projection is more time and energy consuming so do it when you feel like doing it. Rituals are the same.

So to end the post, I just want to say that Demons (and most of the beings) understand that you are busy or struggle. If you struggle with mental or phisical health and you don't have time to work with them, treat helping yourself as an offering. Really. You're wellbeing is also important to them and should be to you. Take your meds, go to therapy or a doctor and also, they can help you with your problems. Don't beat yourself over the fact that you don't have time, if you really don't have time and energy. It's ok trust me.

[hjparisian]

bad idea right?- harry j potter x reader

p: ex! harry j potter x fem!reader w: modern au (phones exist at hogwarts dont question how), everyone is friends, small mentions of drinking and smoking, slight sexual implications (no smut) summary: (y/n) and harry have been broken up for a while now. while at a party (y/n) gets a message from harry asking her to come over. its a bad idea, right? a/n: based on the song by olivia rodrigo, which has been living in my head rent free and brought my first idea in weeks. currently trying to get through a few requests and ylm part II and seeing what'll happen from there. also im on pinterest and tik tok so come find me (has nothing posted on either lol)

There was nothing like a good old party after the Quidditch games. This game was between Hufflepuff and Slytherin, the latter being victorious, which meant the Slytherins would be hosting the party. All the houses were invited.

(Y/N) sat on the couch with Hermione, Pansy, Daphne, and Cho, a drink in her hand. She had tuned out what the girls were chatting about, observing the surroundings of the party. From the people dancing, couples making out, people taking shots and smoking, and Ron doing a keg stand with Blaise and Theo, Draco laughing at them from the side.

(Y/N)'s thoughts were interrupted by the buzzing of her phone, which had also caught the attention of her friends. She picked it up to see who it was. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately to her, it was her ex-boyfriend. Harry.

5 missed calls

hey

feeling a bit bored rn

no ones at the dorm right now

come over?

"Who is it?" Cho asked.

"Oh erm, no one important," (Y/N) said.

"Well your phone was buzzing for a good minute until you finally picked up so it has to be someone important," Daphne chimed.

"Really it's no one," (Y/N) tried telling them.

At that moment, Pansy took (Y/N)'s phone out her hand and looked at it.

"Yeah no one important, unless it's your ex Harry fucking Potter wanting to see you tonight!" Pansy said. The girls gasped.

"Harry?" Hermione asked. "Harry's texting you? But you guys haven't spoken in a couple of months."

"Yeah, I know," (Y/N) said.

"How come Harry isn't here anyways? Doesn't he usually go to parties with Ron?" Daphne asked.

"Said he didn't feel like it," Hermione told her.

"Well, are you gonna do it?" asked Pansy.

"Do what?" (Y/N) asked.

"You know, see him?"

Cho chimed in. "Oh (Y/N), I don't think that would be a good idea."

"Yeah, that would be a bad idea, he is your ex after all," said Daphne.

"I never said whether I was going to or not!" (Y/N) exclaimed. "And if I were why would it matter? I know he's my ex but can't two people reconnect?"

"Well, they could," Hermione started saying. "But a lot of the times it doesn't work out."

"Besides," Pansy starts. "There's a bunch of other men out there waiting to have a chance with you. Men hotter than Potter."

(Y/N) didn't know whether to agree or disagree with Pansy. Well sure, there's other men out that there that could be more attractive than Harry, but there's just something about him that draws her to him.

"Okay, okay! I only see Harry as a friend anyways. Also we're at a Slytherin party right now and I'd much rather be getting drunk with you guys than continue this." (Y/N) told them.

Her words rang in her head as she took a shot that Pansy brought her. Does she really only see Harry as a friend? Or is that a lie?

The temptation to see Harry was only getting stronger with each drink she took. It wouldn't be a horrible idea to visit Harry right? They probably wouldn't do anything anyways so what's the harm?

While the girls weren't paying attention, she texted Harry back, telling him she would be over in a little bit. It didn't take long for Harry to get back to her.

cool, see you soon then

(Y/N) waited until the girls were done with another round of drinks, hoping to be unsuspecting with her need to leave.

"I think I'm going to head to bed, I'm feeling a little bit tired," she said.

"Already?" Pansy asked. "Come on we're having fun!"

"Pansy, leave the girl be. It is starting to get a little late anyways," Daphne said to her fellow Slytherin.

"Do you want me to walk you to your dorm?" Hermione asked her, being one of the more sober people of the group.

"No! No I'll be alright. I'll see you guys tomorrow though alright?" (Y/N) said as she wave goodbye to her friends.

Once she exited the Slytherin common room, she quietly made her way towards the Gryffindor common room. Curse Harry for being a Gryffindor and making her walk so far, but it'll be worth it, at least that's what she's thinking.

(Y/N) finally made it to the entrance of the common room without any setbacks. The Fat Lady had woken up from the sound of her footsteps.

"Password?"

"Quid Agis," (Y/N) said, having remembered the password from when she visited Hermione earlier in the week.

The portrait opened and (Y/N) walked in. The common room was empty, most likely due to the party as well as it being late in the night. She made her way to Harry's dorm, memorized where it was due to the countless times she's gone over.

The girl knocked on the door before going to grab the door knob, but the door had opened before she could. In front of her stood her ex-boyfriend in sweats and a black shirt, contrasting her party dress she wore tonight.

"Hey," Harry said to (Y/N) when she walked in, closing the door behind her.

"Hi," (Y/N) shyly said. It was a bit awkward being in Harry's dorm, considering the last time she was there was a few months ago, before their break up.

Harry guided (Y/N) to his bed, the two sitting at the edge. She could feel Harry's eyes taking her in. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't doing the same just before.

"So you came from the party I assume?" Harry asked.

(Y/N) nodded.

"How was it?"

"Good. You know how Slytherin parties are." The girl said. "Exciting. A lot of drinks."

"Do your friends know you're here?" Harry asks her.

"No." (Y/N) felt a hand touching her thigh.

"Where do they think you're at?" Harry asks her. "They think I'm in bed right now." She said. But she never specified whose bed.

A faint hum of acknowledgement came from Harry as he began rubbing her thigh, his hand slowly getting higher and higher.

"You know, I've missed you a lot (Y/N)."

(Y/N) could feel her heart racing at Harry's sudden confession. "Really? I've sorta missed you too." She didn't know if it was the alcohol talking that made her say that or what, but something made her want to see where this was going.

A small smirk appeared on Harry's face before he brought the girl to his lap. His eyes flickered from her eyes to her lips.

"How about I show you how much I've missed you?"

This definitely was not going to be a bad idea, right?