#rafe cameron x femreader

[ash5monster01]

Learning to Love

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x FemReader!PlusSize

Warnings: 18+, langauge, angst, fluff, mentions of bullying, body image issues, fat shaming, fake relationship, eventual smut, minor enemies to lovers trope.

Summary: It's not uncommon for you to be shamed for your size, it is however uncommon to be told that no one would ever date you because of it. Rafe on the other hand is used to being called a jerk, that is until he is accused of seeing people for only what's on the surface. It's purely coicidental you two meet right after these accusations are thrown your way. So even though you two don't know each other, and probably never would've looked the others way before this, now you're both going to prove a point. It's simple really, prove others wrong and don't fall in love. Easier said than done.

word count: 3k

→ Part 1

Masterlist

You're used to crude comments, truly. Living in the Outer Banks has proven nothing other than the fact that kooks will always be cruel, even if it's towards other kooks. As long as you're in a bathing suit, something is going to be said. Which is proven true as you lie on the beach, book in hand, and sunglasses hung low on your nose. It's your only day off and you were going to enjoy it. Soak up the sun as much as you can because summer would fade away before you knew it. You had only chosen the two piece bathing suit to get more of a tan, maybe a little extra sun. It's only twenty pages into your book you hear two boys snickering not far from your own set up.

"Look a beached whale, should we call the authorities?" your ears burn red only slightly, after all you were used to it. Honestly you could care less anymore.

"God, she has to know that's gross" the other responds after his bellowing laughs have calmed down. They truly can't be that stupid they don't realize how loud they're talking right?

"No decent looking, hell self respecting man would ever date a girl like that" this punches the air out of your lungs. You knew your body type wasn’t considered attractive. This was common knowledge, but to hear someone say you couldn’t possibly ever date an attractive man is something else entirely.

“I know I wouldn’t” the boys laugh again, hands clapping together as they stare you down like you were the most disgusting thing on this beach.

You’re not upset about what they were saying. You survived highschool after all. Your school had already been divided by kooks and pogues, add in the big girl and that’s a recipe for disaster. You’ve heard the most vile and mean things a person could say. Somehow you came out of it with still a little self respect, hell even some confidence, because if you were anything at all it was strong. You had dated here and there, never had anything stick though. Maybe that’s why this comment resonated so hard with you. No matter how decent a person you meet maybe you’re bound to end up ugly and alone because an attractive man belongs with an attractive girl.

Rafe has had to attend hundreds of useless business meetings since his Dad died. He had wanted this. When he was nineteen and trying to prove to his Dad that he was worth it, but now he was gone. He had no one to impress anymore and at twenty three he carried the burden of being the CEO of an entire company with his last name on it. So that’s how he finds himself inside of dark clubs at noon, sharing a scotch with guys willing to play dirty to get what they want. He often wonders why he had wanted this life so badly. Everything he had believed in for so long was now gone. His Dad, the treasure, and now even kooks and pogues. Ever since his sister had found that treasue social classes had been practically eliminated or at least weren't acknowledged like they were before. All of this had now left Rafe without a sense of self and he desperatley needed something to change.

"Man, why can't they hire pretty waitresses to look at anymore?" Levi, a coworker slurred as he watched their waitress walk away. Rafe noticed her shoulders stiffen because she had heard what he had said. He hated he felt guilty over it.

"It's a bar, not a strip club" Matt, another coworker teased and Rafe rolled his eyes. Four years ago these guys could've been his best friends, and he would've teased the waitress right along with them. Now things were different, he was different.

"I happen to think she's cute" Rafe told them before finishing the last sip of his scotch. He knew when he got back to the office people would give disapproving looks but he didn't know what to do with himself anymore. It was like he was just floating and letting the tide drag him along wherever it wanted to.

"Yeah right" Matt snorted out a laugh and Rafe gave him a confused look as Levi started to laugh along with him.

"Seriously Rafe, you’re way out of her league" Levi told him, his shoulder bumping with his own.

"No I'm not and there is no such thing as leagues" Rafe told them with a pointed look but the boys just continued to laugh anyway.

"Yes there is and the only one's in Rafe Cameron's league are tall hot blondes with legs for miles and tan skin smooth enough slide on" Matt said and Rafe felt his stomach clench as they spoke. Had he unintentionaly maintained a type, only taken someone for their looks? Flashes of ex girlfriends went through his mind and he had realized after all this time he had only taken women for surface things.

“That can’t be true” Rafe shook his head and the boys just chuckled.

“Admit dude, you’re an asshole and you like pretty little things. Nothing wrong with that” Levi said as he slapped his back, taking another sip of his own scotch. Rafe however realized there was everything wrong with that. Yeah he’s been a jerk his whole life but had he ever actually dated a girl he liked? Someone with substance?

“Hell would freeze over the day Rafe Cameron dated someone other than a supermodel” Matt pointed with the scotch in his hand and Rafe just shook his head, eyes scanning over the small crowd that littered the bar. For the first time he was seeing people he never would’ve noticed before.

He wondered if this was a side effect of his life before. Privileged kook, popularity, a need to impress everyone around him. Had women become a part of all of that too? A side effect of a need to please, to be the best. Had he been wasting years of actually meeting someone with a personality due to his natural self destructive ways? God he hoped not. Then again he couldn’t recall ever really liking the girls he dated, he usually just tuned them out and used them when he needed to make an appearance with a date. He had never actually dated someone for fun. Worst of all he hated that everyone knew this of him. That he dated for appearance instead of happiness. He wanted to change that.

You could only take so much of the harassment coming from the two boys on the beach, so after three hours you declared you’d had enough sun and started to pack your things. When the cover up slipped over your head you didn’t miss the applause coming from them. Rolling your eyes you grabbed your bag and started the hike up the beach. You needed a drink.

Rafe hadn’t been able to shake the thoughts over the girls he dated. After a very long recollection of every girl he had ever brought around he couldn’t think of one he actually enjoyed spending time with. With this in mind he dismissed Matt and Levi back to the office, claiming he’d find a way back on his own. He needed more time to think about this, and a stiff drink to go along with it. So that’s how he found himself now sitting directly at the bar and not inside the dark booth. The whiskey in his hand suggested he wasn’t making it back to the office anytime soon.

Normally he wouldn’t remove his focus from the drink in his hands but when a bag is slapped on the counter top beside him he finds himself lifting his head. The girl claiming the seat beside him is dressed in stark contrast to his own attire. He’s still in his work suit, tie loosened around his neck, but the girl beside him has clearly just come from the beach. Her hair is wild and wrapped in a bun a top her head. A red bikini strap peaks out the collar of the white coverup. Her breasts had left wet spots slightly see through to the red fabric of her top, like she had left the beach in a rush.

“Hit me with the usual Randy” she calls to the bar keep and Rafe can’t tear his eyes away from her. She’s bigger, sure, but the dip of her hips and small pouted lips have Rafe every bit of intrigued. He can’t help the thought of her being a girl he might’ve never noticed before escape him. He wanted to notice her now.

“Rough day?” Randy smirks at her when he’s back, a tall glass with a dark liquid set in front of her. She takes a sip before responding.

“Every day is a rough day” she mutters and Randy just chuckles before walking off to serve other customers. It’s only when your eyes lock with his own Rafe realizes he has been staring this entire time. “Let me guess, you got something to say just like everyone else today”

“I, what?” Rafe doesn’t expect the coldness from you and how strong willed you are with it too. You aren’t scared of him, he isn’t used to that.

“Listen I’ve had my fill of assholes today so if you don’t have anything nice to say, keep it to yourself” you told him before turning back forward and taking a large gulp from the drink in your hand.

“Got someone bothering you?” Rafe asked finding his cool. He finally got himself to tear his eyes away from you, eyes scanning over the liquor bottles behind the bar. You turn to look at him, eyes drawn together in confusion.

“Not one specific person, everyone for some reason thinks they have the right to comment on my appearance” your words get him to turn back at you. Normally men don’t make you nervous but when you watch him eye you up and down you can’t help the way your heart accelerates.

“I happen to think you look just fine” the scoff that falls from your lips shocks him.

“I’m not looking for your pity, I happened to over hear today that no decent self respecting man would date me so let’s not lie to each other” you tell him and Rafe now feels the air knocked from his lungs. He can’t believe anyone would say that to you. Let alone to your face.

“If it makes you feel better I was told today that I only date woman for surface things” now you were the one drawing your eyebrows together in confusion, looking to the mystery of a man beside you.

“Surface things?” you question the stranger and he chuckles, his rings clinking on his whiskey glass.

“Appearances, apparently I’ve never looked deeper” this has you chuckling right along with him, lifting your own drink to your lips.

“Look at us then, two sides of the same coin. Makes you wonder if there really is anyone out there actually happy with who they ended up with” you say mostly to yourself, knowing this perfect stranger on a normal day would never look your way but you also would never find yourself thinking you had a chance with him.

“I think there is, at least the people who weren’t chewed up and spit out by the world” the optimism is what shocks you the most when he speaks. A hope for something better down in there.

“I wish I was one of those people” you find yourself saying and the boy turns to look at you again, eyes scanning over each of your features.

“Maybe we should prove them wrong” now you’re laughing, looking bewildered towards the boy beside you.

“And how do you suppose we do that?” you ask and he smirks, clearly having some sort of plan.

“We date. I prove to my coworkers that I date someone for more than just their looks and you prove to all those assholes that you can date a guy as good looking as me” he gestures to himself, as if his body is some of God’s best work. You scoff at his clear cheekiness but actually find yourself considering.

“I don’t even know your name” you laugh, trying to remind yourself that this ideal is completely absurd.

“Rafe Cameron, nice to meet you” his hand reaches across the bar, you take notice of how long his fingers are. With the shake of your head you find yourself putting your hand in his own.

“It’s not that simple” you tell him and he just smiles, dimples forming around his pressed together lips.

“Isn’t it though?” he says, a sparkle of amusement in his eyes and you sigh, finally removing your hand from his own.

“Date? As in fake date?” you ask and he nods, his head tipping to the side.

“Exactly, an agreement of sorts. We both benefit from each other, everything to gain and nothing to lose” he tells you like he’s already worked out every way this could end.

“We just met” you inform him and he shrugs, implying this wasn’t an issue.

“I’ve seen people date over less” he tells you and you sigh, holding your hand out to him. He looks are your empty palm confused and you quickly roll your eyes.

“You can’t take me out ion a date without my number dream boy” you tell him and he smirks while grabbing his phone out of his pocket and placing it in your hand. He watched as you meticulously open his contacts and punch in your number. You’ve named your contact ‘baby ❤️’ but he doesn’t get your real name until you type it into other names.

“Y/N? I like that” he smiles at you and you chuckle, clicking on the profile photo to take a selfie.

“We’re already off to a bad start if you want to stop liking people for just their surface things” he likes how quick witted you are and you don’t allow him a response as you lean into his personal space. “Can’t be a real girlfriend if I don’t have a profile picture in your phone”

You smile so easily and he instantly notices how beautiful it is. He’s not looking at the camera anymore but leaning in and taking in the sweet scent of your perfume mixed with the sunscreen and salty skin. You were like a walking beach and he loved that more than anything. That is how he finds his lips pressing softly against your cheek as the camera shutter clicks on his phone. Your body has chills that you have to brush off quickly as you look at the entirely real looking photo on his screen.

“If I didn’t like what was on the surface you would never be my fake girlfriend” he finally says as he takes his phone back before you could text yourself his number.

“I don’t like how easy this is for you. Are you sure I’m your first fake girlfriend?” you ask and he laughs, eyes falling on your face again.

“The first and the only” and you decide that coming into an agreement like this with a stranger shouldn’t be this simple.

“Then we need to lay some ground rules” this has him raising his eyebrows as you grab a napkin from the bar. He watches as you leaned over, searching for a pen behind the bar. Unashamedly he took the opportunity to inspect your ass, admiring the curve and thanking the see through fabric for revealing the cheeky bikini bottoms that laid over your large curves. He had never openly allowed himself to be attracted to a bigger girl. but now he was briefly wondering what it would be like to be suffocated by one.

“So, what’s these rules?” he smirked at you once you were sat back upright in your seat. He watched as you popped the cap off the pen with your teeth and leaving it in your mouth.

“Don’t worry pretty boy, I’ll keep them simple” you tell him, dropping the cap from you lips into the bar. He felt himself flush slightly at the nickname, watching as your neat and loopy handwriting moved across the napkin.

1. Must actively text/call/interact for a week before first “official” date.

2. PDA must be limited

3. Don’t catch feelings, no matter what

4. Attend whatever event your fake significant other asks of you

5. Most of all, don’t tell anyone, ever, that this is fake

“PDA must be limited?” you roll your eyes at the fact this was the only rule he questioned but you sign at the bottom of the napkin anyway.

“I don’t want to waste all of romantic gestures on something that isn’t real” you explain to him and he nods, sliding the napkin in front of him.

“I have a lot of work dinners I would like you to attend” he says as he signs the napkin.

“I’ll try my best” you tell him and now he’s furrowing his eyebrows at you.

“It’s your rule” he points at the napkin, more confused with you than when you first walked in here. “What could you possibly be busy with?”

“Work” you tell him and he still looks confused which you find adorable. Now rule number three only applies to you.

“Every night?” he questions and you chuckle as you return the pen to the other side of the bar.

“Usually, comes with the territory” and you laugh as he continues to try and process what you’re saying.

“What territory?” he asks and you smile, finishing the drink in front of you.

“My bar” and you gesture to the building around you. Rafe suddenly realizes why you know the names of the workers and why they know your usual drink order.

“You own this place?” and you nod, sliding off your seat and grabbing your bag. You also grab the napkin, now signed by you both.

“Don’t forget rule number one handsome” you tell him before heading towards the exit, determined to have a good rest of your day off. Rafe can only watch as you walk away, baffled any of what just happened actually occurred.

“Randy, I’m gonna need a refill”

Taglist: @sublimepenguinpeach-blog

Comment if you want to be added to the tag list :))

[annasfantasies]

Anyone interested in social media au with Drew Starkey??

Bc I’m currently writing it and almost done‼️

[jlovesjj]

Coquette trend on rafe

pairing: rafe cameron x !reader

warnings: kissing, spelling mistakes are meant to be there.

“Rafe hold still” ,you say tying a pink bow around his hips.

“why are we even doing this?” he looks down at me.

“it’s cute look all done”,you tie the last bit together, he lifts your chin up and kisses you. your tongues collide and he puts his hands around your waist, you pull away and you get lost into his blue eyes. you pull your phone out.

“stand still rafe”, you snap a quick photo of him.

“seriously?” he groans.

“you look good”, you look up at him and grin.

“at least somebody thinks so”, he looks down at the pink bow, “can we take this off now?”he says.

“yes”, you un tie the bow for him.

“thank you love”, he gives you a smile then give you a soft kiss on the lips.

[babeforjjmaybanks]

orange soda crush ༊*·˚

pairing: popular!rafe x shy!femreader ౨ৎ

summary: rafe's grades were slipping, to say the least. your school assigns you as his tutor, hoping maybe you could save him. one afternoon, rafe shows up to your house with in need of some help.

warning(s): dry humping, fingering, finger licking, mentions of biting (hickeys), thigh riding, marijuana use, swearing, size kink if you squint, mentions of scratching, slight overstim, rafe becomes whipped so possessiveness, innocence corruption(?), praise, slight perv!rafe, titobsessed!rafe, dni if you don't like!!!

mentions of: rafey, rafe is called a "sex symbol", y/n, sweetheart, good girl, baby, sweet girl, dumbass, needy girl, slut, doll, cute, pretty ౨ৎ

a/n: if not known already, this is basically a obx highschool au, pogues and looks still exist but it's more like jocks and nerds. both reader and rafe are seniors, not minors! I don't have much experience with writing fics but here's my current fixation, enjoy & leave notes! <3

word count: 4168

divider by: @issysh3ll

y/n had been sitting quietly in her history class, the bell signaling the end of the period ringing in the distance. she was gathering her books when the overhead speaker crackled to life, interrupting the usual noise of students packing up.

"pardon this interruption, y/n l/n, please report to principal phelp’s office immediately."

the announcement hung in the air, drawing the attention of a few nearby students. she froze, a slight chill running through her. she wasn’t the type to get into trouble—her grades were impeccable, she kept to herself, and she was always on time. so why was she being called to the principal’s office? her mind raced through all the possible reasons, none of which seemed likely. had she missed an assignment? was there a mistake with her records? or was it the skirt she decided to wear today that definitely didn’t meet the dress code?

her heart pounded as she made her way down the hall, the sound of her footsteps echoing in the quiet corridor. as she approached the principal’s office, she noticed the usual hustle and bustle of students outside. some of them exchanged glances, their curious eyes following her every step, looking her up and down with whispers and sly looks. when she reached the door, she hesitated for a moment before knocking lightly.

"come in," came the deep voice of principal phelps.

she opened the door to find him sitting behind his desk, a manila folder in front of him. the room was neat, almost too perfect, the smell of old books and polished wood filling the air. but what really caught her off guard was the figure sitting across from him.

rafe cameron, the school's golden boy.

her stomach dropped. rafe was sitting with his arms crossed, his signature smirk plastered across his face as he looked over at her. His messy curtain and athletic jacket seemed almost out of place in the sterile office, like he didn’t belong in this space. she had always known of him, of course. he was the star quarterback, the guy everyone knew by name, the one who seemed to glide effortlessly through life. and now, here he was, looking at her as if he had all the time in the world, while she, on the other hand, was caught off guard and confused.

"there she is, come on in we were just talking about you." principal phelps said with a warm smile, though she could detect a hint of urgency in his tone. "take a seat."

she sat down hesitantly, trying to avoid looking directly at rafe. the tension in the air was palpable, and she was acutely aware of how out of place she felt in this situation.

"y/n," principal phelps began, folding his hands in front of him, his expression turning serious, "I’ve called you here because I need a favor. you know rafe, right?"

you glanced at rafe again, his eyes diverted to something else in the room as if he wasn’t staring at you. he seemed unfazed by the situation, though there was a subtle flicker of something in his eyes. "um, yeah," you said quietly, not sure where this conversation was going.

principal phelps nodded. "well, rafe here has been struggling in a few subjects. he’s having difficulty with math, english, and history.” principal phelps cleared his throat trying to ignore the fact that he named almost every class. “and unfortunately, his grades are slipping dangerously low. If he doesn’t get his grades up, he could lose his eligibility to play on the football team, which would jeopardize his scholarship opportunities." he paused, giving her a moment to process the gravity of the situation.

she blinked, her mind racing. rafe? struggling? the same rafe who could probably get away with doing the bare minimum and still pass every class? the same rafe with the fancy sport cars and the fancy mansion he threw ragers in? (allegedly, she’s never been to one.) the same rafe who had never so much as acknowledged her existence in all the years they’d been in school?

"I’m asking you," principal phelps continued, leaning forward slightly, "to tutor rafe for the next few weeks. he needs to pass these subjects to stay on track. and I know you’re one of our top students, y/n. you’re smart, diligent, and patient—exactly what rafe needs right now."

rafe shifted in his chair, his smirk faltering for just a moment. "yeah, sweetheart," he added with a lazy grin, "I could use your help. think you can handle it?" he glanced down at her thighs, and then back up at her. she felt her face flush at the sudden name.

her mind was spinning. she had never thought of rafe as anything more than the popular guy—someone she’d seen in the hallways but never really interacted with. actually, that was a lie, the thinking part. she actually would think about rafe alot when she was bored, specifically his toned body and the way he bit his lip when he was thinking. she had no idea how to deal with someone like him.

"I—I don’t know," she stammered, feeling her face flush. "I’m not sure I’m the right person for this."

principal phelps’s voice softened, but there was still a sense of urgency in his words. "I’m sure you are. rafe, here, is a good kid at heart, but he’s under a lot of pressure. If you help him out, it could mean a lot to him—and to his future."

rafe’s eyes met hers again, and for a split second, she thought she saw something other than cockiness—a hint of desperation, maybe even embarrassment. but it was gone before she could fully understand it.

she took a deep breath. she had never been one to shy away from responsibility, even if the situation seemed overwhelming. she didn’t want to be the one to deny him help, especially when it could affect his future.

"okay," she finally said, her voice steady but unsure. "I’ll help."

principal phelps smiled, relief flooding his face. "thank you, y/n. I know this is a lot to ask, but I think you’re exactly what rafe needs."

as she stood up to leave, she felt the weight of the task ahead of her settle in. she glanced one more time at rafe, who was still sitting there, his posture slightly more relaxed now. He didn’t say anything, but she could feel the tension between them already starting to form, a mix of uncertainty and something unspoken.

"see you tomorrow, then," she said, her words more for herself than for him, before leaving the office to prepare for what was about to be an unexpected and challenging journey.

over the past two weeks, y/n and rafe had settled into a rhythm, though it was far from smooth at first. their tutoring sessions started awkwardly—rafe's usual cocky demeanor clashed with y/n’s quiet, no-nonsense attitude. he would slouch in his chair, often cracking jokes or making sarcastic comments, testing her patience. but y/n, determined to get him through the material, refused to let him off the hook. slowly, she found ways to get through to him, breaking down complicated equations and historical events into relatable, bite-sized pieces. rafe, surprisingly, started to respond. he still struggled, but he began showing up earlier for their sessions, staying later, and even asking questions without the usual bravado.

as the days passed, the tutoring sessions shifted from strictly academic to more personal. one evening, as they were going over a particularly difficult history assignment, rafe let slip that his father had been pushing him to be the perfect athlete, to always be "the best." "It’s not just about football," rafe admitted, his tone more vulnerable than she had ever heard. "I just don’t want to disappoint him, you know?" y/n was taken aback. she had always seen rafe as the confident jock, but here was a side of him she hadn’t expected—a young man weighed down by more than just his grades. she listened quietly, offering a rare, understanding smile that made rafe pause for a moment. after that, their sessions felt different. the walls that had once separated them began to crumble.

In the weeks that followed, their conversations drifted beyond just homework. rafe started sharing bits of his life with you—how he used to love painting when he was younger, how he struggled with anxiety before big games, and how he was terrified of failing his senior year. you, in turn, opened up as well, telling rafe about your dream of becoming a lawyer and how you often felt like an outsider at school. the two of you discovered common ground in your shared feelings of pressure, and the lines between tutor and student began to blur. with each passing session, you became more comfortable with one another, a connection forming that neither had anticipated—one built on mutual respect, trust, and the quiet bond of shared struggle.

it was a quiet evening when y/n heard the unexpected knock on her door. she glanced at the clock—there was no study session scheduled for that night, so she wasn’t expecting anyone. her parents were out, and she had been planning on catching up on some reading. she opened the door, a little confused, only to find rafe standing on her porch, looking uncharacteristically disheveled. his usual confident posture was gone, replaced with an uneasy slouch. his eyes were almost bloodshot, and he wore an unfamiliar look on his face—vulnerable, even fragile.

"rafe?" y/n asked, surprised. "what are you doing here?"

he ran a hand through his messy hair and let out a small, strained laugh. "I—I know this is weird. but I, uh... I had a fight with my dad. a big one. he’s pissed about my grades and shit again, and he’s been on my case all week." rafe hesitated, biting his lip as if trying to hold back a wave of frustration. "I... I got high. like really fucking high I know I shouldn’t have, but I just couldn’t handle it. and I needed to get out of there." he looked down at his shoes, his words a little rushed. "I just—" he sighed, clearly frustrated with himself. "I don’t know, I thought maybe you’d—just let me hang out for a bit. I didn’t know where else to go. I didn't wanna seem like a pussy to all of my dumbass friends."

y/n stood frozen for a moment, processing his words. she had never seen him like this. the rafe she knew was always in control, always surrounded by his friends, the football team, and the unshakable air of confidence. this version of him—lost, raw, and uncertain—was a stark contrast. her heart softened at the sight of him, and despite the oddness of the situation, she stepped aside and motioned for him to come in.

"come in," she said, her voice gentle. "let’s sit down."

rafe walked in slowly, his movements sluggish, still unsure of what to say. she led him to the living room and handed him a glass of water, sitting down next to him, a soft hand placed on his back. the room was filled with the low voice of lana del ray and soft hum of the evening, and for a moment, neither of them spoke. rafe finally looked up, meeting her gaze with a look of quiet gratitude mixed with embarrassment along with something untraceable. "I didn’t mean to show up like this, but I didn’t know who else I could trust with this."

y/n’s heart tightened. she had no idea how much weight rafe had been carrying, how much pressure he was under from his father and the constant expectations of being perfect. In that moment, she realized how little she had truly known about him, and yet here he was—vulnerable, raw, and seeking comfort from the one person he had never expected to rely on.

"you don’t have to explain," she said softly. "I’m glad you came." she gave him a weak smile, rafe felt his heart flutter. "so.. how'd you get high? is that stupid question? sorry, you know people are bringing cocaine back into school." he chuckles, she lets out a giggle. "no cocaine here sweetheart, just this." rafe reached into his pocket and pulled out a weed pen, but y/n had never seen anything like it. it was super colorful and weirdly shaped, not like the ones she would see in the bathroom. "can I hold it?" she glanced at rafe, her doe eyes dimly lit with the faint lighting coming from the lamp in the corner. "why? you smoke? no way." he raised his eyebrow at her, but handed her the pen anyway.

"no, I don't smoke but.." she pauses, biting her lip, "I'm tempted. maybe you're just a really bad influence." he scoffed at her, "give it a try, just hold the button and pull it." y/n stood at the device in her hand uncertain. "what do you mean pull?" rafe held back his laugh, she shoots him a glare. "I'm serious." she playfully shoved him.

"yeah yeah I can see that, by pull I mean, suck on it I guess." her face heats up, cursing herself for letting such innocent words cause a fluttery feeling in her stomach. "okay, I'll try." she focused her attention of the pen and did as rafe said, she put the pen up to her lips and "sucked." rafe watched intensely as her lips wrapped around the tip of the pen, he swallows hard. trying to keep his composure, aka stop staring at your boobs in your thin strapped top or imagine your lips wrapped around his dick like that.

you slightly inhale the smoke and it immediately gets caught in your throat. you're now in a coughing frenzy, embarrassed as rafe pats your back. "atta girl, that's how you do it don't try to hold it in, let it out." y/n found herself coughing even more at the sly remarks. she stands up and walks over to the kitchen hastily grabbing an orange fanta from the fridge. she struggles to open it due to her latest french tip set, rafe notices her struggling and walks over. he opens the can with one hand with a sizzle pop! noise, she brings the drink to her lips hoping to relieve her dry mouth.

after taking a couple minutes to calm down, y/n offers rafe to come up to her room. it comes off as a surprise, rafe had never been anywhere in y/n's house except the living room and kitchen, never upstairs. but with no complaint, he follows behind her, watching the way her ass moves as she climbs up the steps. they make it to her room and it's safe to say, it was tidy. everything seemed like it had a place, and the room was lit with purple led's. but the best part of it all, was her bed. the mattress was extremely comfortable and she had an abundance of pillows as well as plushies.

"yeah this fits you, like a doll in a dollhouse." he walks around her room a bit before sitting on her bed getting comfortable.

meanwhile, y/n on the other hand was in a whole other world.

her ears were burning almost, she could hear her heartbeat and her whole body was tingling. she felt nothing short of amazing, euphoric even.

the usual walls between them had melted away, and now, as the evening dragged on, the space between them felt more intimate than it ever had before. there was movie was playing on her TV, but neither of them seemed particularly interested in it. they were both laughing at the silly dialogue and weird moments on the screen, but most of the time their eyes kept drifting back to each other.

rafe broke the silence, his voice softer than usual. "you know," he said, arms wrapped around her waist as she sat on top of him, "this is the most chill I’ve felt in weeks." his eyes were a little glassy, but his smile was genuine, more relaxed than she’d ever seen him. "It’s nice being away from everything… away from the pressure."

she nodded, her head slightly spinning from the effects. the room felt warmer, the air thicker, and rafe’s presence seemed to fill the space between them in a way that felt new. he shifted, his chest brushing against her back, and neither of them pulled away. It felt like a small moment of intimacy, unspoken yet undeniable.

"yeah," she replied, her voice quieter now, "it’s nice not to think about all the things we’re supposed to be worrying about."

"I wonder, do you ever worry about me? think about me at night?" his tone was teasing, but there was something more behind it, something she could feel but couldn’t quite place. It was an invitation, but also something more—like a question she wasn’t sure how to answer. "so much goes on behind those pretty eyes."

y/n felt her heart beat a little faster as she considered it. part of her wanted to stay upright on his lap, maintain the little distance they had been keeping, but something about rafe’s tone, the way his eyes held hers, made her hesitate. she wanted to trust this moment, to let it unfold without overthinking it. she melted into his touch, resting her head in the crook of his neck, thighs pressed together. "I do."

rafe shifted to make room as he breathed in the scent of vanilla, the bed soft beneath him. the air between them was electric now, charged with a tension that neither of them seemed willing to break. the movie was still playing, but neither of them were paying attention to it anymore. they were closer now, the space between them reduced to nothing and for the first time in a long time she wasn't sure of something, she wasn’t sure if she was just feeling the effects of the weed or something more.

rafe leaned back against the pillows, his arms still wrapped around her body. "we don’t have to watch the movie," he said, his voice almost too smooth, like he was testing the waters. his eyes didn’t leave hers, his gaze intent and heavy, and in that moment, the world outside her room seemed to disappear.

y/n’s breath caught in her throat as the tension between them grew. every inch of her body was acutely aware of him, the way his presence felt so overwhelming, so magnetic. she had always seen rafe as someone distant, someone who belonged to a world she could never quite fit into. but now, with the smoke being blown in her face, taken in by slightly parted lips, she felt like they were on the same level.

she opened her mouth to respond, but the words didn’t come. Instead, she just looked at him, her pulse racing as her mind swirled in the haze of the night.

"I wanna touch you."

rafe's breath fell heavy on her ear, sending a slight chill down her spine. her breath hitched, and there was that same flutter in her stomach. she didn't exactly have any experience in things like this but she wasn't entirely clueless, but never dealt with it hands on.

but rafe? he was a fucking sex symbol. several girls would literally leave notes in his locker with their address begging him to fuck them. but he would only rack up two bodies, or so it's said.

both of those girls transferred schools due to death threats.

but y/n doesn't understand why he would choose her.

"touch, me?" her voice was soft, but not afraid. infact, she was more relaxed than ever. "I wanna make you feel good, you're gonna be the fucking death of me. so innocent you don't even notice how you're straddling me, do you?" y/n took notice of how firmly planted on his thigh she was, no longer fully in his lap. "um, well.." rafe placed his hands on her hips, slowly guiding her back and forth. a jolt of pleasure shooting through her body, "rafey." a mewl creept from her lips, rafe was fucking aching in his sweats at this point. hair sticking to his forehead, lips parted slightly. "shit, you want me to stop? just give me the word i'll stop." he halts his movements, earning a disappointed whine.

"I don't want you to stop."

rafe curses under his breath, he slides her onto his lap and grinds his hips up into her, letting out a low groan. "you're a needy girl aren't you? so stressed and pent up. you can let go, I got you." rafe coo'd into her ear, placing soft kisses on her shoulders and moving to her neck, biting and sucking, hands rubbing all over her body, palming her boobs through her top, fingers brushing over her nipples.

rafe turns her head twords him, pressing their lips together. a mix of cherry lipgloss and orange fanta settling on his tongue. the kiss is sloppy and heated, the air in the room is thick as the movie in the background gets drowned out by moans and heavy breaths.

"such a sweet girl, you know that? all the shit you do for me? you deserve a fucking trophy." rafe showers her with praise has he goes back to kissing her neck, hands never leaving her body as she caught the rhythm on her own.

her brain was foggy with pleasure, lips parted but could't respond with anything but moans and "mhm's." rafe plays with the hem of her pajama pants, "can I?" she nods, "words, baby I need to hear you say it."

y/n, almost frustrated lets out a defeated sigh. "yes, but.." she hesitates. "can you take your shirt off?" she says quietly, as if she wasn't already in such a vulnerable state.

rafe chuckles at the sudden request, but does as she says. he pulls his black shirt over his head and tosses it to the floor. y/n does the same. rafe is practically drooling at the sight of the pink lacy bra. his hands cup her breasts through the fabric, she arches her back against his chest. he slides his hand into her pants, glancing down to see that her underwear matched her bra. "so fucking cute."

he rubs her through the fabric, dampness seeping through the material. he teases her with long strides and rubs circles around her clit. he slips his hand into her underwear, almost moaning at the slick. y/n bites her swollen lip in an attempt to save her embarrassment.

"I want you to watch me."

her eyes slowly moved down to rafes hand in her pants, her face heated with embarrassment as she watched rafe's forearm and wrist flexed as he worked her clit, finger teasing her entrance. "I need you to relax, open your legs for me." rafe slowly parted her thighs with his free hand. "good fucking girl, so obedient." he kisses her cheek as he slides a digit into her sopping cunt. she inhales sharply, her head is thrown over his shoulder and her nails dig slightly into his arms.

"shit, just sucking me in. if I didn't know any better i'd think you were a slut." rafe's teasing manner never seemed to stop, he was two fingers, knuckle deep, in his supposed to be tutor. the only thing they were studying were eachothers body movements.

he found a steady pace working his fingers in and out of her, her moans becoming more high pitched, rafe could tell she was close. her hips bucked up into his hand, an unfamiliar knot forming in her stomach.

"rafey— 'm gonna— fuck!"

rafe was in genuine disbelief, not only did he cum in his pants but this was the first time he had ever heard you swear, tonight was a lot of firsts. the girl that he had been crushing on for weeks was about to cum on his fingers, moaning his name. he was never letting her go after this.

almost like it was on cue, y/n's orgasm hit like a truck. her entire body was shaking and she swore she saw starts. on top of that, rafe was still working his fingers in and out of her riding out her orgasm. she swatted his hands away and he took his hand out of her pants, bringing his fingers up to his mouth and licking them clean. she falls off of his lap onto the cool comforter beside him, chest heaving. he lays beside her and wraps his arms around her waist.

"want me to go run a bath, sweetheart?" he kisses the nape of her neck and cages her in. "'n a minute, just stay here for a second."

"didn't plan on leaving." ౨ৎ

[urbrunettebombshell]

NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE - Part 2

Part 1

Rafe Cameron x FemReader

Summary: After a gut wrenching realization, Rafe Cameron has nothing left to lose, only reader.

Warnings: 18+, jealousy, angst, mental health issues, suicidal themes, mention of eating disorder.

Important info: this is my second writing piece. still extremely personal. also english is not my first language. hope you enjoy it :) (not my gif!)

P.S.: the idea of writing this came from a character.ai bot (_nietakt on the app). not a single word in this was written by a bot! i took the initial idea of reader seeing Rafe and another girl at a bonfire. let me know if you have a problem with that.

Rafe hadn’t slept a single wink. He'd been too worried about her, her skin so cold when he'd carried her out of the water. Now, watching her sleep in his bed, a sense of relief washed over him. She was safe, at least for now.

He stood by the door, arms wrapped tightly around himself, silently watching her as she slept. The faint light of the morning sun seeped through the curtains, gently illuminating her face, but it only seemed to deepen the emptiness in the room. He remained there, motionless, as if afraid to disturb the fragile stillness of the moment. His gaze lingered on her, tracing the rise and fall of her chest with each breath, a rhythm that felt so distant, so foreign to him now. The quiet hum of the world outside seemed to fade, leaving only the weight of the quiet room. The sunlight, soft and pale, seemed to mock the darkness that had taken root in his heart.

Despite that, her body throbbed with a slow, unbearable ache. Her heart and lungs felt too heavy to bear; her head pounded as if she had collided with concrete. Every breath felt like a struggle, each minor movement a battle against the weight of exhaustion pressing down on her. The world around her seemed muffled, distant, as if she were trapped in a fog that wouldn’t lift, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t escape the relentless ache.

But the soft mattress was comforting. The familiar scent of the sheets, the faint trace of him, wrapped around her like a fragile embrace, offering a fleeting sense of peace. The warmth of the room, the quiet hum of the world outside, felt so much like home, even though home had long ago become a place she didn’t recognize.

She opened her eyes to find him standing there, unmoving, his gaze fixed on her with a quiet intensity. He was leaning against the doorframe, dressed in sweats, but there was something in the way he held himself that told her he hadn’t slept. Not a single ounce of rest had touched him. She didn’t speak. The silence between them felt suffocating, as if any word spoken could shatter the fragile stillness that had settled in the room. She was scared — scared of what might come next, of what that look in his eyes might mean.

Rafe's breath caught in his throat as her eyes fluttered open. He'd been standing there for what felt like hours, watching the rise and fall of her chest, making sure she was okay. He pushed off from the doorframe and approached the bed, sitting gingerly on the edge of it. His eyes remained fixated on her, his expression a mixture of relief and concern.

“Hey,” he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. “How are you feeling?”

When he sat down on the edge of the bed, the mattress sank slightly under his weight and her heart clenched in fear. A mix of longing and dread twisted inside her. She wanted him closer, desperately so, but she knew deep down that if he didn’t keep his distance, she would never be able to move on. She could never heal if he was too near.

She had always been weak when it came to him, her resolve crumbling the moment he was within arm’s reach. She folded so fast, every guard she built collapsing, every promise to herself shattering in the blink of an eye. The pull between them was magnetic, and no matter how many times she tried to push it away, it always found its way back, leaving her lost in the wreckage of her emotions.

“Weird,” she answered him in a whisper. She was feeling every little emotion yet nothing at all. Maybe she was just waiting for her heart to be broken again.

Rafe chuckled softly at her reply, his eyes never leaving her face. He shifted closer, reaching out and brushed a loose strand of hair away from her forehead, his touch tentative yet tender.

“Yeah, I imagined you would feel pretty weird after last night,” he said, his voice quiet. He paused, his expression turning serious as he spoke. “You had me pretty worried, you know that?”

That chuckle was the death of her. It echoed in her chest, a sound that stirred something deep inside, something she had buried long ago. And when his finger brushed against her forehead, she couldn’t help but let out a soft, shaky sigh. Any crumb of attention from him felt like heaven on earth, like she could finally breathe again after holding her breath for so long.

“I didn’t…” she started saying, her voice barely above a whisper, but his serious expression stopped her mid-sentence, the weight of it pressing down like a stone. She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself, but her emotions felt like they were on the edge of breaking. Her eyebrows furrowed, the tension growing inside. “I’m sorry,” she said, the words tasting bitter on her tongue, even though she didn’t fully understand what she was apologizing for. Maybe it was just the silence between them, or the way things had always been — broken, but never enough to end.

Rafe shook his head, his hand still resting gently against her face. “No, don’t apologize. You don’t need to apologize,” he paused, his eyes searching her face, taking in every detail. He wanted to memorize every little nuance, every little mark, every fleck of color in her eyes, as if each detail was a piece of something precious, something he could never forget. The way her lashes fluttered when she blinked, the faint shadows beneath her eyes, the glimmer that flickered when her emotions shifted — it was all so much a part of her, yet so easily lost in the passing of time.

He leaned in slightly, as if trying to capture it all, the very essence of who she was, holding onto the way she looked in this moment. He was afraid that once it slipped away, it would be gone forever, that the memory would fade like a dream upon waking. Every slight movement, every breath she took, felt sacred to him, as if he was witnessing something fragile and irreplaceable. “Just…don’t scare me like that again,” his voice was firm but not harsh, filled with a mix of concern and a hint of scolding.

She allowed herself to take a long, unhurried look at all his features, every single detail she had memorized and loved so deeply. The curve of his jaw, the softness of his lips, the way his cerulean eyes held a quiet intensity even when he wasn’t speaking — each part of him felt familiar, yet it all made her heart ache in ways she couldn’t explain.

A soft sigh escaped her lips, filled with frustration, as the thought of losing him all over again gnawed at her insides. It was a fear she couldn’t escape, no matter how hard she tried to push it away. The thought of the distance between them growing again, of things unraveling like they always did, was almost too much to bear. She could feel the tears threatening to rise, but she held them back, desperate to keep some semblance of control, even though everything inside her was breaking.

She wanted to apologize for being a burden last night, for all the things she couldn’t say or control, for the way she had let her emotions spill over, overwhelming them both. She wanted to tell him that he wouldn’t have to deal with her anymore, that she would find a way to step back, to let him go without dragging him deeper into her mess. She longed to say that he was free of her, that if he truly wanted to be, he didn’t have to stay. He could walk away and never look back. She would find a way to erase him from her heart, even if it felt impossible, even if every part of her screamed to hold on.

But the words stuck in her throat, heavy and suffocating. She couldn’t bring herself to say them. The fear of losing him, of pushing him away for good, paralyzed her. How could she let him go when he was all she had ever known? How could she let him walk away when she knew deep down she was nothing without him?

Rafe noticed the conflict in her eyes, the way she averted her gaze from his, and he could practically hear the thoughts racing through that mind of hers. He knew her like the back of his hand, and he knew what she was thinking. He reached out and gently cupped her cheek in his palm, drawing her focus back to him.

“Don’t start shutting me out again,” his voice was firm yet pleading. “Not after last night.”

Her body trembled when his palm cupped her cheek, the warmth of his touch sending a jolt of electricity through her, forcing her to look him in the eye. He was so close once again, the space between them shrinking until it felt like the world outside had disappeared. But even with his face so near, it still wasn’t enough. The ache in her chest deepened, a longing that couldn’t be satisfied by just proximity, no matter how much she craved it.

And as she stared into his eyes, she wasn’t sure if it was entirely possible for them to ever exist again, to find that place where they could be what they once were. The fractures between them felt too deep, the silence too heavy, as if too much time had passed, too much damage had been done. The fear crept in, a gnawing thought that perhaps this was as close as they could get anymore — the edges of what they had, but never quite whole again.

“I never shut you down,” she scolded him, her voice sharper than she had meant, the words cutting through the silence more forcefully than she anticipated. She immediately regretted the tone, her chest tightening with the weight of it. She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself, her fingers trembling slightly as she held back the storm of emotions threatening to overwhelm her.

“You left,” she continued, her voice quieter now, but still thick with hurt. “I just did what I could to cope with it.” The words tasted bitter as they left her lips, the truth of them stinging as she realized how much she had buried, how much she had tried to suppress. She had told herself it was fine, that she was fine, but the emptiness of those days without him had left scars she could never erase. She wanted him to understand, but part of her feared that even if he did, it might be too late for them to ever find their way back.

Rafe’s jaw clenches at her words, a pang of guilt stabbing through him as she reminds him of the fact he’d left. It was a truth he was all too aware of, one that haunted him every single day. “You think I don’t know that?” He asks, his voice strained. “You think I didn’t know how much I was hurting you when I left?” He lets out a shaky breath, his thumb gently caressing her cheek. “I hated every goddamn minute of being away from you.”

She shut her eyes, squeezing them tightly to keep the tears from falling. It was hurting all over again, a familiar ache that twisted deep inside her, pulling at every fragile piece of her heart. She knew how hard it had been for him after losing his father, how he had struggled, how he had tried to carry the weight of it alone. She understood the pain, the grief that consumed him, and the way he had pushed everyone away, convinced that he was better off alone.

She knew he wasn’t doing well, that he was drowning in his own sorrow, afraid of pulling her down with him. But leaving her had been worse than all of that. The absence of him had left a void she couldn’t fill, and no matter how many times she tried to convince herself she would be okay, she wasn’t. His departure had fractured something inside her, something that hadn’t healed, something that no amount of time or distance could ever fix. It wasn’t just the leaving that hurt. It was the way he had cut himself off, the way he had silently decided that it was better to walk away than to let her in, even when she had been there, waiting for him to reach back. It was the feeling of being abandoned, not because he didn’t love her, but because he was convinced that loving her was too dangerous, too painful.

“Can we not?” She pleaded in a heartbeat. She couldn’t argue about that again, it was too much for her to handle.

Rafe’s heart felt like it was being torn out of his chest as he listened to the plea in her voice. The raw vulnerability there cut through him like a blade, each word a reminder of the damage he had caused, the silence he had let linger between them. He didn’t want to hurt her more; that was the last thing he ever wanted. The guilt that had been gnawing at him for so long twisted deeper, but he knew that ignoring it, pretending everything could go back to how it was, would only make it worse.

He drew in a slow, shaky breath, trying to steady himself, his hand still resting on her cheek, the warmth of her skin grounding him. He could feel her breath against him, the tension in her body, and it broke him to know that his actions had brought her to this point.

“No,” he said quietly, his voice firm but not harsh, careful not to let the pain in his chest spill over into his words. “We can’t just not talk about it.” His gaze softened slightly, his eyes searching her face, reading the fear, the sadness that she wore like a veil. He wanted to pull her close, to promise her everything would be okay, but he knew the truth: that wouldn’t fix this. The silence, the unspoken things between them — they needed to be confronted.

She bit her lower lip, trying to hold back the words that were threatening to spill out. She knew he wouldn’t like it if they talked about it, knew it would only make things worse. Hell, he would hate hearing her talk about it. The thought of confronting the truth — the things left unsaid, the hurt buried beneath his silence — made her stomach churn. He never liked being held accountable for his behavior, never liked facing the consequences of his actions. It was easier for him to retreat, to close off, to pretend like it never happened.

But she wasn’t sure how much longer she could pretend, how much longer she could stay silent while everything between them crumbled. She had to say it. She had to make him see what he was doing to them, even if it meant pushing him further away. The weight of his avoidance was crushing her, and she knew if she didn’t speak now, she might never get the chance again.

“We will end up fighting,” she told him in a shaky tone, her fingers tracing his hand on her skin. “I’m not sure if I can keep fighting you.”

Rafe’s expression softened as she spoke, the touch of her fingers against his skin sending a jolt through him. He knew she was right — any mention of the topic would inevitably lead to a fight. But he couldn’t let this linger any longer.

“Maybe we need to fight,"” he took a deep breath, his voice slightly shaky. “Maybe if we actually talked about this, really talked about it, we could get some goddamn closure for once.”

That damn word set her off like a switch had been flipped, her mind spiraling into chaos. Closure? Fuck him. How could he even ask for that? She wanted to be respected, to feel like she mattered, and instead, he had fucked her over in the worst possible way. Every part of her burned with anger, the weight of betrayal sinking deep into her bones. She couldn’t believe she was hearing that — closure. After everything he’d done, after the silence, after the lies, after the countless ways he had turned away when she needed him most, he was asking for closure? The audacity of it made her blood boil, the sting of every painful memory rushing back with the force of a tidal wave. He had taken so much from her, and now he was trying to act like he was the one who needed answers?

It felt like a slap in the face, the one thing she never thought she would hear from him. The one thing that made all of the pain, all the sacrifice, all the love she had given feel like it had meant nothing.

“You want closure?” She asks in a scoff as she sits up in the bed, her knees shaking against her chest as she holds herself close. “I’ll give you closure.”

She was so vulnerable that anything could set her off. Her emotions were all over the place and all mixed up.

“You were a bad person, Rafe, but I kept up with your bullshit,” she said, her voice trembling with the weight of everything she had held back for so long. “I loved you like no one else did, and you did me dirty.” The words cut through the silence, sharp and bitter, and he could almost see them flowing from her soft lips, each syllable laced with the pain he had caused. “You left when things got too much for you,” she continued, her eyes burning with a mix of sorrow and rage. “You left me in pieces, alone to deal with everything. And you had the nerve to show up with someone else just a few weeks later, leaving me like I never mattered.”

Her words hung in the air, and he felt the weight of them press down on his chest, suffocating him. He had known what she was feeling, had known deep down that she was hurting, but hearing it laid out like this — raw, unfiltered — was a slap to his face. There was nothing he could say to make it right, no apology that would undo the damage. The guilt settled over him like a heavy fog, his own shame swallowing him whole. She was right. He had left her, abandoned her when she needed him the most, and now she was sitting there, her heart torn open, and he had no excuse.

Rafe’s eyes widened in disbelief as the words left her mouth, each one like a dagger to his heart. He had been bracing for a fight, but hearing she lay it all out like that was like a punch to the gut.

“You think I don’t know all of that?” He asks, his voice tight with anger and frustration. “You think I haven’t been beating myself up for it every damn day?” He runs a hand through his head, his expression a mix of frustration and pain. “You think I wanted to leave you?”

Her eyes were glued to his every movement, searching for something that could make sense of the chaos between them. She was burning in anguish, her heart twisting with every word he spoke, every shift in his posture. The anger and hurt churned inside her like a storm she couldn’t escape.

She wanted to know why everything always ended with screaming, why their relationship always seemed to spiral into nothing but pain and conflict. Why couldn’t they ever find a way to just be? Why couldn’t they hold on to the moments when things felt good, when love was enough?

The question clawed at her mind, relentless. Why didn’t he just leave her to drown? She had been struggling for so long, feeling like she was sinking deeper into despair, yet he always seemed to linger, pulling her up just enough to keep her gasping for breath — just enough to remind her how much she needed him, even when he was the cause of the drowning.

“I know nothing about what you want,” she scoffed harshly, spitting venom out of her tongue. “I just know that you did leave me. And it hurts like hell.”

Rafe’s jaw clenches, the venom in her words cutting him deep. He knew he deserved every bit of it, but it still hurt.

“I didn’t want to leave you,” he said firmly, his voice strained. “I never wanted to leave you, goddamnit. I just thought-“ He cuts himself off, his eyes drifting to the floor. He didn’t want to admit the truth out loud.

Her eyebrows furrowed at his unfinished words. Her heart skipped a beat. She knew it had more to it than what he was saying. She just thought he would never tell her.

“You just thought what?” She asks him.

Rafe takes a deep breath, his eyes still locked on the ground. He knows this is going to be the hardest part of this conversation.

“I thought you’d be better off if I left you.” The confession feels like acid on his tongue, but he forces himself to keep going. “I was such a mess after my father died, and I didn’t want to drag you down with me. I thought you’d be better off without me.”

The silence that followed the confession was heavy on them. It seemed like hours of them just staring into each other's eyes and breathing heavily. She could see the sorrow in him. She also could see her Rafe.

“You’ve always been an idiot.” She says in a chuckling whisper. What a dumb man. He left to save her and all he did was damn her.

Rafe couldn’t help but let out a dry chuckle at her unexpected reply. He had expected anger, tears, anything other than that. But that was just like her – throwing him off guard, making him feel things he thought he couldn't anymore.

He finally looked up to meet her eyes, his expression a mix of resignation and a hint of a smile. “Yeah, I’ve always been a goddamn idiot. Especially when it comes to you.”

She knew she should not have opened her heart to this again. She had promised herself she wouldn’t — promised herself she was stronger than this, that she wouldn’t let him pull her back in. But here she was, standing on the edge of the same cliff, her heart a fragile thing in her chest, ready to leap despite every warning. She knew her friends would kill her if they ever knew what she was doing right now, how she was willing to risk it all for someone who had torn her apart before.

She had been through hell since their split, enduring the long, lonely nights and the endless questions, trying to piece herself back together from the wreckage he left behind. And now, she was dancing willingly in the flames with the devil, drawn to him like a moth to a flame, knowing the pain would come again but unable to stop herself from reaching for it.

“I miss you,” she whispered, her voice trembling, barely a breath escaping her lips. Her hands shook as they hovered in the space between them, unsure whether to touch him or pull away, torn between the longing and the fear. She wanted them to make up, wanted to believe that there was still something worth saving, something that could be fixed. Yet she was so scared — scared of the same heartbreak, the same crushing emptiness that had followed in the wake of his leaving. But in this moment, her desire for him, for reconciliation, outweighed the terror that had kept her apart from him for so long.

Time seemed to stand still as the words left her trembling lips.

‘I miss you’.

Those words hit Rafe like a ton of bricks, their weight crashing down on him with such force it left him breathless. It was all he had wanted to hear from her for months, the words he had desperately wished for, even though he had never been brave enough to say them first. He had longed for those three words, ached for them with every fiber of his being, knowing that he had pushed her away and ruined what they once had. But hearing them now, soft and fragile, pulled him back to a place he thought he’d lost forever.

He closed his eyes for a moment, letting the warmth of her confession settle in, steadying himself as the emotion threatened to overwhelm him. When he opened them again, his gaze found hers, and for the first time in what felt like forever, there was a flicker of something real — something unbroken — in his eyes. His expression was a mix of pain and hope, the raw truth of their past hanging between them like an open wound, but there was a glimmer of something he hadn’t allowed himself to feel in a long time: possibility.

“I miss you too, baby,” he whispered, his voice low and thick with emotion, the words escaping him with a vulnerability he wasn’t sure he was ready for. But it didn’t matter anymore. The distance, the hurt — it all felt irrelevant now. He was here. She was here. And for this one moment, that was enough.

She can’t help but flinch when he calls her baby again. It was a warm welcoming yet a harsh pull to remind her that she wasn’t his baby anymore. Her lips tremble when she tries to talk but nothing comes out of her mouth. It was so scary to be this confused.

Rafe’s heart breaks as he sees her flinch at his use of the term. Once upon a time, it was his favorite way to address her – a term of endearment, a sign of his love for her. But now it just served as a reminder of what he'd lost.

He closed the distance between them both and slowly reached out to take her trembling hands in his. His expression was one of uncertainty mixed with a desperate hope.

“Baby, I don’t-“ He cuts himself off, his throat closing up.

She couldn’t stay there for another minute. It felt like a dream turning into a tortuous nightmare. She shut her eyes when he called her baby again. Oh, God, what would she do to be his baby again.

“Maybe I should go.” She says in a slightly more subtle tone. She should stop this from happening. They should part ways and get over it.

Rafe’s heart sank as she spoke the words he dreaded to hear. He had hoped — no, he had wanted — this conversation to go much different. He tightened his grip on her hands, refusing to let her slip away.

“No,” his voice was firm, the single word filled with a mixture of plea and determination. “Please, just…don’t go. Just talk to me, baby, please. We can work this out.”

She looked up at him through her big doe eyes, filled with sorrow, a silent plea hidden deep within them. Her gaze searched his face, desperate for something — some sign that this wasn’t just another cruel twist of fate, that they could still find a way back to each other. But all she saw was the same pain mirrored in his expression, a reflection of the brokenness that had once been shared between them. Her eyebrows were furrowed, the weight of everything that had happened between them pressing down on her chest, suffocating her. She couldn’t help it. A lonely sob slipped from her throat, the sound fragile and raw, as if it had been trapped inside her for far too long. It was a sound that broke her, that broke him, and for a moment, neither of them could move, both frozen in the echo of the pain they had inflicted on one another.

She didn’t know how to fix this, how to make it right, but all she could feel was the emptiness that had settled in her heart. The ache was too much to bear, and as the sobs wracked her body, she realized how much she had longed for him to stay, to not leave her alone with the weight of it all.

“And then what?” She asks him in an honest hope of terms. “We’ll apologize for almost killing each other and forget about all that pain? And live happily ever after?”

Rafe's heart aches at the pain in her voice and the tears forming in her eyes. He wants nothing more than to make all the hurt go away – both hers and his. He reaches up and gently brushes away a tear that escapes down her cheek, his touch tender and full of an old, familiar tenderness.

“Baby, I'm not saying it'll be easy,” he says softly, his expression a mixture of pain and determination. “But I want to try. I want us to try.” Those words were a promise, tentative but full of the hope that had been buried beneath the weight of everything they had endured. They weren’t guarantees, but they were real. And for the first time in a long time, he allowed himself to believe that maybe, just maybe, they could find their way back to each other.

She sobs once again when he holds her closer to him. It felt so right to be in his arms, it didn’t hurt anymore. But it was still terrifying. They weren’t the same anymore.

“I don’t know if I have the strength to try,” she whispered. All she ever wanted was to be his girl again. But what if he decides to leave again? She can’t handle that all over again.

Rafe's heart breaks as she sobs, as she mentions not having the strength to try. He knows he's to blame for that – he's the one who broke her strength, shattered her faith in him.

He pulls her even closer, his arms wrapping around her tightly, desperately.

“You don't have to have the strength. I'll be there, baby, and I'll be strong for both of us,” he whispers, his voice trembling with a mix of pain and determination. “I won't leave you again. I promise.”

She allowed him to hold her tightly, her head resting on his shoulder while he pleaded so dearly. He was desperate. God, she would fold in his hands.

“Do you really mean this?” She asks again. He had to be sure that he wanted this, that he wanted her.

Rafe lets out a shaky breath as she leans into him, his heart skipping a beat. He never wanted to let her go, ever again.

He takes a moment to collect himself before answering, his voice firm and unwavering. “Baby, with everything I have in me. I want this, I want you. So goddamn badly.”

Her fingers find his face, tracing his jawline ever so slightly. Her touch was so soft and slowly, almost like telling how afraid she was of him disappearing into thin air.

“We can’t be insane this time,” she whispered as she kept touching his skin. They have to do this right or not even try. “We’ll have to get to know each other again. Heal from what happened first.”

Rafe's heart skipped a beat as her delicate fingers traced over his jaw, the touch a bittersweet mixture of comfort and nostalgia. He nodded as she spoke, his eyes never leaving hers. He understood the gravity of those words.

“We can do this right,” he said softly, his voice filled with determination and desire. “We'll take all the time we need to heal, to get to know each other again. I'm not going anywhere, baby. I'll be here for as long as it takes.”

She stared into his eyes for longer than she should, keeping her silence as she tried to catch any glimpse of regret in him. But there wasn’t. He was serious. He has changed.

“Okay.” She whispered.

And just like that she was willing to go through everything again just for his sake.

Rafe's heart leapt in his chest as he heard the word leave her lips. It was such a simple word, but it meant so much.

He pulled her closer, the relief and hope flooding in his system.

“We'll take it slow,” he promised, his voice still trembling. “No more fighting. No more hurt. Just healing and rebuilding, okay?”

She nodded softly at him, her arms hugging him around his neck. She inhaled deeply into his chest, filling herself with his scent. Only God knew how much she missed this. To be his.

She could die right there in his arms. She didn’t need anything else. But she knew she couldn’t throw herself in this situation so blindly.

Rafe wrapped his arms around her tightly, holding her close against his chest. He had missed this – her – so much. The feeling of her body against his, her scent filling his nostrils, her breath against his skin.

He closed his eyes for a moment, relishing in the feeling of having her in his arms again.

“We'll be okay, baby,” he whispered softly, his voice filled with a mixture of determination and tenderness. “I won't let anything come between us again.”

She felt like she could finally breathe again. That lump in her throat going away after weeks of choking me. Her heart finally stopped hurting. She takes a deep breath as she leans her head slightly back to look up at him.

“I love you.” She tells him in reassurance. She's never stopped loving him so deeply. But he has to know that love will not be enough this time.

Rafe's heart nearly stopped at her words. I love you. He had ached to hear those words for what felt like an eternity. And now, here she was, declaring her love for him once again. It was like music to his ears.

“I love you too, baby,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “So goddamn much.”

Their noses touched, the skin on skin sensation tingling in caress. She never wanted to let go. But she had to.

After minutes of silence, of them just holding each other, their faces touching, she says what she´s dreading to say. “I have to go.”

People may be worried about her disappearing last night.

Rafe's expression shifts instantly, his face falling. He knew this was coming, but he didn't want to let her go. Not yet.

He holds her still, his arms wrapped tightly around her, as if to physically prevent her from leaving.

“No, baby,” he responds, his voice strained with desperation. “Please, can't you stay a little longer?”

She gives him a sad smile when he holds so much tighter. He didn’t want her to go. He didn’t want to let go of her. Neither did she.

“Kie might be worried,” she tells him, her voice barely above a whisper, as if the admission might make the weight of her words heavier. She knows he’s probably heard that after they broke up, she didn’t go back to live with her parents in their mansion. She couldn’t handle the thought of being in the same world as him, surrounded by the luxury and coldness of a life that felt so distant from the one she had with him.

The thought of returning to that world, to the emptiness of it all, made her feel suffocated, as if every corner of the mansion would remind her of everything she had lost. So, instead, she stayed with her pogue friends, people who didn’t judge her, who didn’t expect anything from her but to be herself, messy and broken as she was. They had offered her a refuge, a place to breathe, away from the world that had crumbled beneath her feet.

She wasn’t sure if Kie knew just how far she had fallen, how much she had sacrificed just to stay afloat. But she also didn’t want to explain the depth of her pain, the quiet loneliness that had become her constant companion. She just wanted to move on, to find a way to piece herself together, even if it meant living in the shadows of everything she had once thought was real.

Rafe’s heart sank further at the mention of Kie. He had known, deep down, that she’d likely spent time with the pogues since leaving him. But hearing it out loud felt like a punch to the gut. The thought of her sleeping under the pogues' roof, away from everything he had ever offered, served as a cold reminder of just how badly he had messed things up.

The image of her, curled up on a worn couch or in a cramped space with people who had nothing to do with their past, made the guilt in his chest grow heavier. It wasn’t that he didn’t know the bond she had with them; he had seen it himself, the way they accepted her without hesitation, the way they had been there for her when he wasn’t. But the idea of her living with them, away from the cold comfort of her family’s wealth, told him so much about where she was now. She had chosen authenticity over comfort, warmth over distance. She had chosen the people who had shown her real care, people who saw her for who she was, not for what she could be.

She chose them because they made her feel something he hadn’t made her feel in so long: safe, understood, loved without conditions. It was like a mirror to everything he had failed to give her.

Rafe had always known that her relationship with her parents was strained, even if she never spoke about it much. He’d seen the cracks in their interactions — the cold silences, the passive-aggressive comments, the way they barely looked at her unless they needed something. He had tried, in his own way, to heal the wounds that came with her family’s neglect. He had held her when she cried, whispered promises of safety when she felt lost in the echo of their judgment, tried to show her that she didn’t need their approval to be enough.

When they were together, he thought he was helping her heal, that he was giving her something better — love, security, understanding. He had wanted to be the one who made her feel worthy, who could make her forget the emptiness her parents left in her heart. He’d believed, with all his heart, that he could be the antidote to the poison they had fed her for so long.

But when they broke up, he never realized just how deep the damage went. He had been so consumed by his own hurt, by the end of them, that he didn’t stop to think about what she was going through. She never went back to her family’s mansion after they split. He had assumed she would, like anyone would in her situation — back to the comfort and luxury of her parents' world, where everything was polished and perfect, even if it came with strings attached.

Instead, she went to the pogues. And that choice, that one simple decision, hit him harder than anything else. It was a quiet admission that the one place she should have gone for refuge, the one place that was supposed to offer her shelter, had never truly been a home. It was the realization that everything he thought was better — everything he had tried to offer her — wasn’t enough to heal the parts of her that had been broken long before he ever came into her life.

He should have known. He should have seen it in her eyes every time she talked about her parents, every time they tried to reach out to her with their hollow love. But he hadn’t, and now, as he thought about it, the weight of it crushed him. He hadn’t realized how badly she had needed that support, how deeply her family’s absence had wounded her until it was too late.

He swallowed the pang of hurt he felt within him, but his arms remained locked around her tightly.

“Yeah, she probably is,” his voice was tight. “But can’t you stay a little longer? Just a bit more?”

She catches a glimpse of him swallowing the lump in his throat, his eyes flickering away for just a moment as if to hide the vulnerability creeping up on him. She thought he was probably holding back some biting comment, something that would inevitably turn into a fight like it always did before. But to her surprise, he stays quiet, his jaw clenched but his words still stuck somewhere between them.

She keeps watching him, studying the lines of his face, trying to make sense of the mix of emotions there — pain, regret, hope. She couldn’t tell if it was the same old cycle they always found themselves trapped in, or if this time, things might be different. Her heart thudded in her chest as she tried to make up her mind. It wasn’t easy, but then again, nothing between them ever had been.

“A couple of minutes more isn’t going to hurt,” she thinks to herself, almost as if she were giving herself permission to stay in this moment a little longer. Just a little longer. Because once it was over, once she stepped away, there was no going back.

“I’ll text her that I am safe,” she tells him as her fingers brush on his cheeks. “And then I’ll stay a little longer. Okay?”

Rafe's expression softens as her fingers graze over his cheeks, his tension melting away. Her words are like a balm to his anxious mind.

He nods slowly, his grip on her relaxed a fraction. “Yeah, okay. Just a few more minutes. That's all I'm asking for.” His arms remain wrapped around her, holding her close. He couldn’t bear the thought of letting her go just yet.

She couldn’t help but leave a soft kiss on his cheek, her lips grazing over his skin ever so slightly. She didn’t free herself from his tight hold, just turned around a bit to grab her phone from his nightstand.

She smiles when she sees the clothes she wore yesterday, clean and folded neatly next to it. The sight of them brings a wave of warmth, and her mind drifts back to the moment she had worn them — how sticky and damp they had been after her most grueling day, drenched from the ocean's waves that seemed to swallow her whole.

He had also given her a bath last night, his hands gentle and purposeful, as if he could erase all the weight from her. And then, when she had finally drifted to sleep in his arms, he stayed by her side, watching over her like she was something fragile, something worth protecting.

She was wearing only one of his shirts and his boxers, the fabric too big for her frame but comforting in its familiarity. The memory of how he had tucked her in, his warmth surrounding her, made her heart flutter despite everything that had come before. The tenderness of that moment — the care he had shown — felt like a lifeline, even in the midst of everything falling apart.

Rafe watched closely as she reached for her phone, his arms still loosely wrapped around her, his touch lingering like he wasn’t ready to let go just yet. Seeing her in his shirt, the way it hung off her frame so effortlessly, sent another shiver down his spine. It was a mix of tenderness and possessiveness, the soft, worn fabric a reminder of the closeness they once shared, and of how much had changed.

She typed out a quick message to Kie, telling her that she was fine but leaving out the details — where she was, who she was with. Rafe could see her fingers moving quickly over the screen, a quiet tension in the air between them. He couldn’t blame her for being vague. It wasn’t like things were clear between them. But still, watching her type, his heart pounded in his chest, unsure of what she was really thinking or what it all meant.

“So,” she says, turning her phone off and shifting her attention back to him, “Breakfast?”

Rafe lets out a small sigh of relief as she turns her phone off, the finality of it almost comforting. At least for now, it felt like they were in their own little world, no distractions, no pressing questions. He raises an eyebrow at her question, his eyes flicking to the clock above them. “I reckon it’s more like lunch by now,” he says softly, a small smirk playing at the corners of his mouth, trying to lighten the mood. He wasn’t sure where things were headed, but in this moment, with her here, he was willing to follow wherever it led.

She giggled softly at his words, that small smirk telling her that he was so comfortable with having her around.

“Lunch it is, then,” she replied with a casual shrug, though there was something uncertain in the way she moved. Rafe’s heart skips a beat when he hears her soft giggle, the sound of it like music to his ears, familiar and comforting in a way he hadn’t realized he missed. Without thinking, he tightens his arms around her just a little, savoring the simple feeling of having her in his presence again, so close, so real.

But as he does, his eyes drift to her body, noticing the way her clothes seem to hang a bit looser than before. He had seen the subtle change in her, the way she seemed smaller, thinner. At first, he thought it was just the aftermath of the breakup, the emotional toll, but now, it made his stomach twist in concern.

She had clearly lost weight after their split, and she was just starting to try to eat normally again. Kie had practically forced her into this recovery, and she was trying — really trying — to get better. But Rafe didn’t need to know the details of that, not yet.

Without even considering how it might sound, he asks, his voice soft but laced with worry, “Have you been eating properly?”

Her eyes snap to him when he asks the question so suddenly, catching her off guard. She hadn’t expected him to notice, hadn’t expected him to see through the subtle shifts. He had caught her, and in that moment, she felt a wave of shame wash over her. She didn’t want to lie to him, but there were things she wasn’t ready to talk about, things she wasn’t sure she could.

“I am now,” she replied, her voice steady, though her gaze avoided his. It wasn’t a lie, not exactly. She was trying to eat properly now. She was making an effort to take care of herself, even if it had been a struggle. The truth felt like something she could only admit in small, guarded pieces.

Rafe’s eyebrows furrow as he sees her reaction. He can tell he’s struck a nerve, and he’s instantly filled with a sense of guilt and concern. When she responds with ‘I am now’, his heart sinks. That wasn’t a yes, and that wasn't a no. It was an answer that left unanswered questions swirling in his mind.

He takes a shaky breath and nods slowly, trying to keep his voice steady.

“But before now?” he prompts, his voice barely above a whisper.

She rolled her eyes in annoyance when she noticed that he would not drop the conversation. But she knew he was just concerned so she sighed before answering.

“I wasn’t,” she says as my eyes drop to his hands, her fingers playing with his rings. “But I am trying now. That’s all that matters.”

Rafe's heart aches as she confirms that she hadn't been eating properly. It was like a punch to the gut. He knew it was partly his fault – the breakup had taken a toll on her as much as it had on him. But the thought of her not eating, of her neglecting herself - it was enough to make his blood boil.

He takes a deep breath, trying to keep his voice steady. “Why weren't you eating, baby?”

She rests her forehead against his chest for a moment, as if trying to hide from the weight of the truth. She knew she couldn’t keep quiet forever, though — the silence only made it worse. Taking a deep breath, she finally looks back up at him, her eyes filled with a mix of shame and frustration.

“I didn’t choose to not eat,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper, trying to explain in the clearest way she could. She had to make him understand that she wasn’t relapsing into her eating disorder, even though the tightness in her chest felt like it might swallow her whole. “I just couldn’t get myself to do it anymore.”

The words seemed to hang between them, thick with the memories of how her struggle had always affected their relationship. There had been times before, when things were good, when she would push herself to eat just to be normal for him, for them. But there were other times — dark, quiet times — when the thought of food felt overwhelming, suffocating, and she couldn’t find the strength to make herself care. It had created a distance between them, a kind of unspoken pain. She had wanted him to help, wanted him to understand, but in the end, it felt like he had just watched her slip away, unable to bridge the gap between what she wanted to say and what she was actually feeling.

The breakup hit her harder than she had anticipated, not just emotionally, but physically too. The depression that followed felt like a heavy weight pressing down on her chest, making it hard to breathe, let alone take care of herself. The stress, the anxiety — it all piled up, and with it, the familiar, destructive eating habits returned. She stopped eating regularly, stopped caring about anything beyond just getting through the day. The loneliness, the sadness, made food seem like an afterthought. She would skip meals, forget to eat, or force herself to eat just enough to keep going, but never really nourish herself.

She had been trying to avoid the downward spiral that had taken over her before, but it was like she was caught in a cycle she couldn’t break. The pain from the breakup intensified everything — the way she saw herself, the way she felt about her body, the guilt of not being able to maintain any sense of control. It had felt easier to just disappear into the chaos of her thoughts than to deal with the overwhelming emotions of loss and self-doubt.

But now, slowly, she was coming back on track. She was trying to break free from the habits that had been so deeply ingrained, reminding herself that healing wasn’t just about moving on from the breakup — it was about taking care of herself, about learning to nourish her body and her spirit again. It wasn’t easy, and some days were harder than others, but she was trying. And that, she knew, was the first step to finding herself again.

Rafe swallows down another pang of guilt that wells up inside him. He knew that the breakup had shaken her, but he hadn’t considered the extent of it. The fact that she couldn’t bring herself to eat – it broke his heart.

He had seen the changes, the way she’d seemed distant and withdrawn. It was like a punch to his gut, the realization that his departure had only pushed her further into a place she had been fighting so hard to escape. He couldn’t help but feel guilty. He had always tried to fix things, to help her when she was struggling with those demons, but he had failed her when it mattered most. He hadn’t been there, hadn’t noticed the subtle signs that she was slipping back into old patterns. The guilt gnawed at him, a constant reminder of how he had walked away without fully understanding the consequences. He had thought that leaving would make things easier, for both of them, but now he saw the damage it had caused.

But then, there was a flicker of hope when she spoke about coming back on track. She was trying. And that realization — small as it was — stirred something deep within him. He knew it wouldn’t be easy for her, that recovery wasn’t something that happened overnight. But hearing her say it, hearing her take the first steps toward healing, made him wonder if there was a chance, maybe just a slim one, for them to rebuild what they had lost.

He wanted to be there for her, more than anything. He wanted to be the one who helped her through this, who supported her as she fought to find herself again. But he also knew that it wasn’t up to him to fix her, to be the one to save her. That was something only she could do for herself. Still, the thought of being part of that journey — if she’d let him — was enough to make his heart race.

He pulls her close again, his arms wrapping around her tightly, as if he could somehow make up for his mistakes.

“Nut you’re eating now, right?” he pressed gently. “You’re taking care of yourself?”

She nodded softly at his questions, forcing a smile to reassure him. She was taking care of herself even though it was a struggle.

“Yeah,” she tells him in a whisper. “My friends helped me a lot,” she says. Kie and Sarah had her back while she was slipping into that dark place.

Rafe takes a moment to process her words, his expression softening slightly. He was relieved to know that she had people there for her while she was struggling, despite how much it hurt to think of her relying on other people for support.

He let out a shaky sigh, his arms still wrapped tightly around her. “And you’re better now?” he asked, his voice filled with a mix of hope and trepidation.

She tried to take her mind off of the dark parts of what she’s been through, so she did what she did best to distract herself. Her fingers were slowly tracing and mapping every single detail of his skin. Him being shirtless helped her to focus on each little freckle on his shoulders and chest.

“I am,” she told him in honest words. She was better. Especially now that she is in his arms.

He felt a shiver of pleasure down his spine as her fingers traced over his skin, his body responding to her touch even if his mind was elsewhere.

Her answer – soft and honest, but filled with hope – made his heart skip a beat. He held her closer, the feeling of having her back in his arms and the reassurance that she was getting better lifting a weight off his shoulders.

He let out a shaky breath, his voice full of emotion. “Good. That’s good, baby. I’m glad.”

She can’t help but giggle at the sound of him calling her baby once again. Last night it felt like a distant dream to be with him again. And now it was so real. She was afraid of waking up.

She felt like staying in bed with him for eternity.

As her sweet giggle met his ears, Rafe felt a familiar warmth spread through his chest. It was a sound he had missed dearly in the time they'd been apart.

He held her tight, his arms wrapped snugly around her as if to hold her in his reality. He shared her fear of this being a dream, of her slipping out of his grasp like sand.

He chuckled softly in response. “If we stay in bed all day, we won’t have any lunch,” he teased gently.

She bit her lower lip in an attempt to hold back a big smile. Her fingers kept tracing every inch of his skin, memorizing his every spot.

“I wouldn’t mind,��� she confessed in a heartbeat.

Rafe’s heart skipped a beat at her confession, his body responding to her touch with a shiver that rippled through him. He couldn’t deny that he wanted nothing more than to spend the day in bed with his girl, her body pressed against his, their hands exploring every inch of skin. But he also knew that neither of them had eaten yet, and he didn’t want to encourage her already poor eating habits. He took a deep breath, willing his heart to slow down.

“We should eat something, baby,” he said, his voice huskier than he intended.

She hummed in agreement with his statement. We should eat something. Together. God, they were together again. She couldn’t believe that.

Rafe felt his breath hitch as she leaned in and kissed his cheek again, her soft whisper sending a shiver through him. It was such a small gesture, but it carried a weight that he couldn’t ignore. He had missed this — the quiet, tender moments that had always felt so effortless between them. Now, each one felt like a fragile thread connecting them, and he was terrified of pulling too hard and breaking it.

He couldn’t help but notice the careful distance she was maintaining, though. It wasn’t physical, not entirely, but there was a hesitance in her movements, a deliberate slowness that told him she was holding back. And he understood why. Since the breakup, there had been nothing even remotely intimate between them — not a kiss, not a touch that lingered too long. It was as if they were both treading carefully, afraid of rushing into something that could crumble under the weight of their unresolved issues.

He admired her for it, though. She was right — taking things slow was probably the best way to rebuild what they had lost. But part of him struggled with the restraint. He wanted to pull her into his arms, to kiss her like he used to, to feel that undeniable connection that had always been there. Yet, he knew that pushing too hard, too fast, would only risk undoing everything they were trying to piece back together.

As much as it killed him to wait, he realized that this was about more than just what he wanted. It was about her, about earning back her trust and showing her that he was willing to do this the right way. If slow was what she needed, then slow was what he’d give her — even if every fiber of his being ached for more.

He took a shaky breath and loosened his grip on her a fraction, trying to calm the heat that was building within him.

“Come on,” he said, his voice still raspy from the weight of the morning. “Let's get something to eat.”

She let him slip from her arms as he got up from the bed, his hand reaching out to hers. His grip was soft but insistent, pulling her gently to her feet. Standing there in nothing but his shirt, she felt a pang of discomfort, not because she was self-conscious, but because of the memories it brought back. This house had once been theirs. Their sanctuary. Their home.

As they walked through the familiar halls, the silence between them was heavy with unspoken thoughts. The echoes of laughter, arguments, and quiet moments filled her mind. They had lived together for months before everything unraveled. She remembered how quickly it all fell apart — the night he told her he didn’t want her anymore, the way she packed her things in a haze of heartbreak, and how she’d walked out without looking back. Instead of returning to her parents' house, which had never felt like home, she sought refuge with Kie, burying herself in a world far removed from this one.

“It looks the same,” she mumbled as they stepped into the kitchen, her eyes scanning the room that once felt so alive with them.

Rafe walked beside her, his jaw tight as memories crashed over him. He hadn’t changed much about the house since she left. It was as if he’d been unable to. Each corner, each piece of furniture, held traces of her — moments he both cherished and regretted. Seeing her there now, moving through the space like a ghost of the past, sent an ache through his chest.

“Yeah, it does,” he replied softly, his voice tinged with something between sorrow and longing. “Nothing's changed much.”

He wanted to say more, to tell her how empty the house had felt without her, how he had tried to ignore the hollow quiet that crept in after she left. But the words stuck in his throat. Instead, he moved toward the kitchen counter, opening the fridge as if focusing on something as simple as breakfast could dull the ache in his chest.

That gut-wrenching feeling hit her like a tidal wave, threatening to pull her under. She couldn’t stop it. It was as if she was being swallowed by the sea of heartbreak all over again. Nothing’s changed much, he’d said. The words twisted like a knife in her chest. Because everything had changed for her. She had hit rock bottom, been reduced to a shadow of herself. She had turned into a mess, clawing her way back to some semblance of stability. But him? He looked the same. Untouched. Like none of it had mattered.

“I see,” she muttered, a bitter snort escaping her lips. She wasn’t trying to be cruel, but the memories stung too much. He had another girl in his arms just days after their breakup. Hell, she remembered how he had been with someone else just last night. How could he stand there now, acting like any of it meant something?

Rafe flinched at her tone, closing the fridge, a pang of guilt surging through his chest. He knew he hadn’t been fair to her — not in the breakup, not in the aftermath. He had handled it like a coward, grasping for anything to numb the pain. He saw the hurt etched on her face now, and it only deepened the regret that had been gnawing at him since the moment she left.

Running a hand through his hair, his expression crumbled into something raw and pained. “I know I messed up,” he admitted, his voice thick with remorse. “Trust me, I know.”

He stepped closer to her, closing the distance between them with hesitant steps. His eyes searched hers, desperate to make her understand. “But I was just trying to move on,” he said, the words falling heavy between them. “Just like you.”

The tears welled up in her eyes before she could stop them. Her body began to tremble, and she crossed her arms tightly over her chest, as if trying to hold herself together. She felt exposed, vulnerable, like he could see every fracture in her heart.

“I wasn’t trying to move on,” she confessed, her voice barely above a whisper. Her eyebrows furrowed as she met his gaze, the weight of her words breaking her all over again. “I was trying to survive.”

Her admission hung in the air like a thundercloud, and Rafe felt like the ground had shifted beneath him. He hadn’t realized the depth of her struggle, hadn’t understood just how much she had endured. For the first time, he saw her pain not as an echo of his own, but as something far deeper and more consuming. It left him standing there, utterly speechless.

The sight of her tears was unbearable, a sharp dagger twisting deeper with every tremor of her body. Watching her struggle to keep herself together unraveled something in Rafe, breaking him apart in a way he hadn't known was possible. He reached out, hesitant, his hand hovering over her shoulder, as if afraid to touch and cause more damage.

“Baby...” he murmured, his voice soft, trembling with an emotion he could barely hold back.

Her words stopped him cold. I was trying to survive. Each syllable cut through the haze of his guilt, striking at the very core of him. His chest tightened as the weight of her suffering pressed on him like a physical force.

She shut her eyes, the sound of his voice too much to bear. It was all too raw, too overwhelming. She loved this man — loved him in a way that terrified her, in a way that made her feel both alive and utterly destroyed. But that love came with scars, ones she wasn’t sure she could heal.

“No, it’s fine,” she whispered on a shaky sigh, her lashes wet as she forced herself to meet his gaze again. She tried to push away the tears, to find some strength in the chaos. “I can’t give us another chance if we keep going back to the past.”

Rafe’s hand fell to his side, his shoulders slumping under the weight of her words. She was right, and the realization stung. He couldn’t undo what he’d done, couldn’t erase the nights she spent crying or the days she fought to keep herself afloat. He took a deep breath, his voice a mixture of pain and fragile hope.

“So, what do we do then?” he asked quietly, the vulnerability in his tone almost breaking her resolve.

She bit her lower lip, contemplating his question. They had already decided to take it slow, to tread carefully this time. If there was any hope of making this work, they couldn’t rush back into the storm. They needed to rebuild, piece by piece, to do things differently and finally get it right. She took a deep breath, sliding onto the kitchen counter as she tried to lighten the weight of the moment.

“Coffee?” she asked, a soft smile breaking through the tension, fragile but genuine. One thing at a time.

Rafe felt his heart skip at the sight of her smile, so small yet so full of meaning. It was a flicker of light in the darkness, a tentative promise of something better. He couldn’t help but smile back, a tenderness in his eyes that had been absent for far too long.

He glanced at the coffee machine, then back at her. “Yeah” he replied, his voice still tinged with the weight of their conversation but softening with her warmth. “Coffee sounds perfect.”

For a moment, the kitchen felt less like a battlefield and more like a haven, a fragile space where healing might begin. He walked to the coffee machine, his movements steady, deliberate. The simple act of brewing coffee was grounding, a small ritual of normalcy in the middle of so much emotional chaos.

She sat quietly on the counter, her eyes fixed on him as he worked. The way he moved — effortless, familiar — was mesmerizing. The rich aroma of brewing coffee filled the room, wrapping the kitchen in a comforting warmth that felt almost like home. It was almost cruel how easily the moment mimicked their past, as if time hadn’t pulled them apart, as if heartbreak hadn’t carved deep wounds into both of them.

Her gaze lingered, absorbing every detail of him. The concentration in his face, the way his hands moved with practiced ease. Her heart ached, heavy with the love she still carried for him. God, she still loves this man.

Rafe was painfully aware of her eyes on him. He could feel the weight of her gaze, the unspoken tension curling around them like a fragile thread. It wasn’t uncomfortable — it was grounding, like the coffee. A reminder of everything he’d missed, of the connection that still pulsed between them despite the scars.

As the coffee finished brewing, he turned to her, his voice soft, almost hesitant. “How do you take it?”

Her heart clenched at the question. Something so mundane had become a symbol of how much had changed. Once, he knew the answer without asking. Now, the question hung between them, a stark reminder of the distance they had to bridge.

“Black. No sugar,” she said, her tone clipped. Once, she couldn’t stand coffee without cream and sugar. After the breakup, it became a metaphor for survival — plain and bitter, just like her days without him.

Rafe’s chest tightened at her reply. He remembered her sweet tooth, how she used to grin as she added scoop after scoop of sugar to her mug. Now, the bitterness seemed to mirror something inside her. As he poured the coffee into two mugs, he wondered how much else had changed about her — how much of it was because of him.

He handed her a mug — her mug. The one with the Snoopy drawing. The one he had bought for her after her obsession with Snoopy began. Her fingers brushed against his as she took it, and she couldn’t suppress a soft laugh, her eyes lighting up in a way he hadn’t seen in what felt like forever.

“I can’t believe you still have this,” she said, her voice touched with surprise and a glimmer of warmth. Rafe felt a flicker of relief and hope at her reaction. A small victory. He shrugged lightly, a faint smile pulling at his lips. “Of course I still have it. You love that damn dog.”

Her laugh came again, soft and melodic, like a balm to his aching heart. She held the mug close to her chest, biting her lower lip to suppress the emotions rising within her. The Snoopy mug — the symbol of something so simple, so pure — felt like a thread tying her back to him.

“It means a lot,” she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. “That you kept it.”

Rafe’s gaze softened, and he reached out, his fingers grazing hers on the mug. His voice was low, trembling slightly with emotion. “I couldn’t get rid of it. It was a part of you.” He paused, his breath hitching as he met her eyes. “And I never wanted to forget you.”

Her lips parted, but no words came. Instead, a soft, involuntary groan escaped her throat, the sound raw and filled with yearning. There he was — her Rafe. The man who had once held her heart so carefully, now standing before her with his soul bared.

“I’m glad,” she whispered, her voice cracking with vulnerability. She wasn’t ready to say more, but her heart swelled at the thought that, even when apart, he had held space for her.

Rafe exhaled shakily, her simple words hitting him with a force he hadn’t anticipated. “How could I forget you?” he asked, his voice trembling. “You’re etched into my soul, baby.”

Her eyes closed for a moment, her body trembling at his words. When she opened them again, she looked up at him, her lips quivering. “Do you mean that?” she asked, her voice filled with desperate hope.

His hand found hers again, their fingers intertwining as though they belonged nowhere else. “Yes,” he said, his voice firm despite the vulnerability in his eyes. “You’re in every part of me. Every breath, every heartbeat — you’re a part of me.”

Rafe watched her closely, his heart pounding as she processed his words. Her silence spoke volumes — an unspoken dialogue passing between them, heavy with the weight of their shared history.

She bit her lower lip, a gesture he knew so well, trying to steady herself. When she nodded softly, her gaze falling to their joined hands, he felt a surge of emotion so strong it almost overwhelmed him. The way their fingers intertwined felt so natural, so right, as though they had never been apart.

He couldn’t look away from her, couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to gently lift her chin so she was forced to meet his gaze. His thumb brushed lightly against her jawline, his eyes searching hers for the answers to questions he was too afraid to ask aloud.

“You don’t have to say anything,” he said softly, his voice a quiet promise. “But I need you to know... I’m not letting you go again. Not without a fight.”

Her chest rose and fell with uneven breaths, the vulnerability in his words threatening to break through the walls she had so carefully rebuilt. She wanted to believe him — wanted to let herself fall into the warmth of his presence — but the memories of the pain he’d caused lingered like shadows in the corners of her mind.

Still, the way he looked at her now, like she was the only person in the world, made it hard to hold onto the anger. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze, her eyes glistening as she whispered, “I don’t know if I can handle being hurt again, Rafe.”

Her words were a dagger to his heart, but he understood. He knew he didn’t deserve her trust — not yet — but he was determined to earn it.

“You won’t be,” he promised, his voice firm yet tender. “I swear to you, I’ll spend every day proving that I’m not the same man who let you go.”

She let out a shaky breath, her resolve softening ever so slightly. Looking down at their joined hands again, she couldn’t deny the comfort his touch brought her. Maybe, just maybe, this time could be different. But for now, she allowed herself the smallest sliver of hope as she whispered, “One step at a time.”

Rafe’s thumb continued its gentle caress, his touch trembling slightly as though he was terrified she might pull away. His eyes, those piercing blue eyes she once got lost in so easily, were heavy with a tenderness she hadn’t seen in what felt like forever. He wasn’t just looking at her; he was baring his soul, silently pleading for her to see the man he so desperately wanted to be for her.

Her words, soft and uncertain, echoed in his mind: I don’t know if I can handle being hurt again. They struck him like a bolt of lightning, raw and real, cutting through every layer of guilt, regret, and love he carried for her. He had hurt her in ways he couldn’t even begin to forgive himself for, and yet here she was — still in front of him, still within reach.

His fingers tightened just slightly on her hand, as if anchoring himself to this fragile moment. “You have no idea how much I hate myself for hurting you,” he said, his voice cracking under the weight of his emotions. “Every day, I think about what I did. How I broke something so beautiful… so good.” He swallowed hard, his gaze dropping briefly before he forced himself to meet her eyes again. “You deserved better than me back then. And I don’t know if I’ll ever deserve you now, but I’ll spend the rest of my life trying if you let me.”

Her lip quivered as she listened to his words, the vulnerability in his voice tugging at the walls she had built so carefully around her heart. She wanted to stay strong, wanted to shield herself from the possibility of pain, but the sincerity in his eyes was disarming in a way she hadn’t expected.

“I loved you so much, Rafe,” she whispered, her voice barely audible, as though saying it too loudly might shatter her. “I gave you everything. And when you…” Her breath hitched as she blinked back the tears threatening to spill. “It felt like I wasn’t enough. Like I’d never be enough for anyone.”

Rafe’s heart broke all over again at her confession, his chest tightening with an ache he couldn’t put into words. He stepped closer, his free hand moving to cup her cheek as he gently tilted her face toward his. “Don’t you ever think that,” he said, his voice low and thick with emotion. “You are enough. You’ve always been enough. I was the one who wasn’t. I was scared, and I let my fear ruin the best thing that ever happened to me.”

She blinked, the tears slipping down her cheeks despite her attempts to hold them back. His thumb brushed them away with the same tenderness that used to make her feel safe. The warmth of his hand, the earnestness in his eyes — it was too much, and yet it wasn’t enough.

“Why now?” she asked, her voice trembling. “Why are you saying all this now?”

Rafe hesitated, his eyes searching hers for a moment before he answered. “Because I realized I was lying to myself, thinking I could live without you,” he admitted, his voice raw. “I thought it’d be easier to move on, to forget, but all I did was carry the weight of losing you everywhere I went. I don’t want to live like that anymore. I don’t want to live without you anymore.”

Her breath caught in her throat at the confession, her mind warring between the lingering hurt and the undeniable pull of the love she still felt for him. “I don’t know if I can just… jump back in,” she whispered, her eyes filled with both fear and longing. “I need to know this is real, Rafe. I need to know you mean it.”

He leaned closer, his forehead gently resting against hers. “It’s real,” he said, his voice a soft, steady promise. “I mean it with everything I have. I’ll prove it to you every day, in every way, for as long as it takes. Just… don’t give up on me. On us.”

Her tears fell freely now, but for the first time, they weren’t entirely out of pain. She didn’t know what the future held, didn’t know if they could truly rebuild what had been broken. But as she felt the warmth of his hands, the honesty in his words, and the depth of emotion in his eyes, she allowed herself to believe — if only for a moment — that maybe, just maybe, they could try.

“One step at a time,” she whispered, her voice barely steady but filled with quiet resolve.

Rafe nodded, a faint, hopeful smile tugging at his lips. “One step at a time,” he echoed, his hand lingering on hers as though he never wanted to let go.

Rafe watches her struggle to steady herself, her teeth catching her lower lip as her eyes drift downward. He can see the storm of emotions swirling within her, reflecting his own turmoil. Every fiber of him aches to close the space between them, to pull her into his arms and never let go. But he knows better — they need to tread carefully, to rebuild what was broken piece by piece.

“Are you okay?” he asks softly, his voice carrying a tenderness that makes her chest tighten.

She draws a shaky breath, lifting her gaze to meet his. A faint smile graces her lips, fragile but genuine. She nods, her fingers lightly tracing his in an effort to calm the unease. “Yeah,” she whispers, though her voice betrays her vulnerability. “I’m just… overwhelmed.” She doesn’t elaborate; she doesn’t need to. Rafe understands without her having to explain.

He nods, his focus never wavering from her face. He feels it too — this bittersweet tension, this dizzying mixture of hope and pain. The sheer weight of being in each other’s presence again. Gently, he lifts her hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. “It’s a lot, I know,” he murmurs against her skin. “But we’ll take it slow, okay?”

A quiet sigh escapes her as his lips brush her knuckles. It’s a touch so delicate, so thoughtful, and entirely Rafe. Her Rafe. “Okay,” she whispers, her gaze locking with his. The rawness in his eyes mirrors her own, as if the world around them has dissolved, leaving only this fragile moment between them.

Rafe’s heart flutters under the weight of her stare. He takes her hand to his chest, resting it above his pounding heart. “Feel that?” he asks, his voice low and trembling. “That’s for you, baby.”

Her breath hitches, her chest tightening at his words. She feels the steady rhythm beneath her palm, his heartbeat telling her all the things he can’t yet put into words. Tears prick her eyes, but she forces a weak smile as she leans in closer, resting her forehead gently against his.

“You can’t say stuff like that,” she murmurs, her voice laced with a desperate plea. Her palm remains pressed to his chest, feeling his warmth, his sincerity.

Rafe’s breath catches at the closeness, their noses brushing, their breaths mingling in the narrow space between them. His free hand moves to cradle her face, his thumb tracing soft circles against her cheek. “Why not?” he rasps, his voice raw. “It’s the truth.”

Her resolve falters under his touch, his tenderness breaking through her defenses. Their bodies draw closer, her knees parting instinctively as he steps between her legs, grounding them both in this moment. She lets her hands slide from his chest to his shoulders, up to his neck, and finally to the back of his head, her fingers grazing his buzzed hair with an intimacy that feels achingly familiar.

“That’s all I’ve ever wanted,” she confesses, her voice breaking. She’s raw, exposed, unable to hide the depth of her longing. “For you to hold me when it got too hard. For you to stay.”

Rafe’s heart clenches at her words, the weight of his past mistakes crushing him. His hands find her waist, pulling her closer as he buries his face into the crook of her neck. His lips brush against her skin, and his voice is a shaky whisper. “I know, baby. I know. I should’ve never left you.”

His hold tightens as his body trembles against hers. “But I won’t make that mistake again,” he promises, his voice thick with emotion. “Never again.”

A soft sound escapes her, caught between a sigh and a sob, as his desperation pulls her closer. She lets him hold her, their shared heartache intertwining in the quiet embrace. His words resonate deeply within her, but she says nothing, letting her fingers soothe the tension in his scalp, grounding him as much as he grounds her.

When he pulls back, his blue eyes meet hers, shimmering with emotion. “You’re too good to me,” he whispers, guilt and gratitude lacing every word. “I don’t deserve you.”

Her fingers trace the lines of his face, soft and reassuring. A faint giggle escapes her lips as she shakes her head. “You’re right,” she teases gently, offering a smirk to lighten the heaviness between them. “But I’m here. That has to count for something.”

Rafe chuckles softly, his heart swelling at the warmth in her words. He leans into her touch, covering her hand with his. “It counts for everything,” he murmurs. “The fact that you’re here, giving me another chance… it’s more than I could ever ask for.”

Her smile softens at his earnestness, her thumb brushing over his cheekbone. “We deserve another chance,” she says, her voice steady and filled with quiet conviction. She believes it, wholly and deeply.

His hand tightens over hers, his gaze unwavering. “We do,” he agrees, the words carrying the weight of his regret and the hope for a future that feels just within reach. This time, he wouldn’t falter. This time, he would hold onto her with everything he had.

"I should go now," she says, her voice quieter than she intended, her eyes flicking to the clock on the kitchen wall. It’s a quarter to one. She has plans to meet Kie soon, but that’s not the only reason.

Rafe’s heart drops at her words, an ache blooming in his chest. The thought of her leaving, of her walking out that door again, is almost unbearable. But he masks his disappointment with a small nod, trying to respect her space. “Yeah, of course,” he says, though there’s a faint tremor in his voice.

He steps closer to her, his hands finding her hips, his touch hesitant yet magnetic. He pulls her closer, their bodies aligning as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. “Just… promise me you’ll come back, okay?” His voice carries a plea, raw and vulnerable.

Her breath catches at the sudden closeness, her chest tightening as his warmth envelops her. His hands on her hips feel both comforting and terrifying, grounding her while stirring a panic she can’t quite suppress. She sighs, her body betraying her turmoil, leaning into the familiarity even as her mind screams to run.

She tries to smile, forcing her lips to curve as she meets his gaze. “We’ll talk, okay?” It’s the only answer she can give. She doesn’t know if she’ll come back — not because she doesn’t want to, but because she’s not sure she can survive being hurt again. Her heart is a mess, fragile and aching, and the weight of his presence only magnifies her confusion.

Rafe searches her face, his grip on her hips tightening ever so slightly, as if anchoring himself to her. “Yeah,” he murmurs, the uncertainty in her words echoing in his own. “We’ll talk.”

He leans down, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. It’s tender and unhurried, a quiet act of affection that sends shivers down her spine. She closes her eyes for a brief moment, letting the warmth of his lips linger, fighting the urge to lose herself in the safety of his embrace.

But when his lips leave her skin, she feels the emptiness creep back in. Her heart clenches painfully, and she pulls back, breaking the connection. “I really should go,” she says again, more firmly this time, her voice trembling despite herself.

Rafe watches her retreat, his hands slipping reluctantly from her hips. He doesn’t stop her, doesn’t push, even though everything in him wants to. Instead, he nods, a faint, bittersweet smile tugging at his lips. “Okay,” he says softly. “I’ll be here… whenever you’re ready.”

She swallows hard, her emotions threatening to spill over as she takes a step back. “Bye, Rafe,” she whispers, her voice almost inaudible.

[sugarcoatedstarkey]

Fake Boyfriend - p1

Pairing - soft!rafe Cameron x virgin!femreader

Summary - you lie to your best friend about having a boyfriend.

Warnings - please note there will be individual ratings on each part. But I’d like to keep it 18+ because there will be smut eventually.

The party was in full swing, you could hear the music from the Uber two streets away. Combing your fingers through your curls, taking a quick glance at yourself through the rearview mirror. Giving the driver an awkward smile when he shamelessly checks you out.

“Seriously y/n, you can’t keep dodging the questions around why you still haven’t had a boyfriend” your best friend pipes up from next to you, your cheeks blushing when the driver's eyes widen. “Shut up!” You exclaimed, taking a sigh of relief when the car came to a stop outside the house.

You wasted no time and darted out of the vehicle, fixing up your shorts. You opted for a chic but casual look of a tight black strapless top and red linen shorts. You didn’t look back to see if Kelsie followed behind you because not even 5 steps later she’s pulling on your bicep, annoyance floods your veins as you stared at her in silence. “Come on babe, I’m not trying to make you feel bad I just genuinely don’t know how the hottest girl in the outerbanks has never been fucked”.

Once again your best friend has embarrassed you in front of an audience, running your hands down your face in anger. You could already hear the whispers, you stormed away from her in silence. You were rounding the corner of the kitchen within moments, slinging back shot after shot. Trying to dull the embarrassment that sat low in your stomach, Kelsie stood beside you in silence. She knew she had crossed a line then by blurting out you were a virgin, so she didn’t stop you when you poured yourself a large cup of cherry vodka.

“Actually Kelsie” you slurred, jabbing your finger into her shoulder. Her forehead creased in the middle, slightly excited to hear what her best friend was about to admit to. “I do have a boyfriend”.

You're not sure why you're lying, but it just slipped off the tip of your tongue. It was easy to lie to her, she lived on the opposite sides of the country. She had no idea who any of the people were on the island unless you introduced her to them.

You watched the corner of her lips turn up into a smile, her hands shaking beside her as though she’s about to squeal out in delight. Your eyes quickly roam your surroundings searching for a suitable male. Your eyes landed on Rafe Cameron who was standing with his usual posse, beers in hand and laughing at whatever they found funny. “Yeah, I have a boyfriend and his name is- Rafe” you state, you catch a few people turn your way at his name and raise their brows.

Rafe wasn’t one for girlfriends, he was more of a one and done kind of guy. So really you should have thought of someone better, Topper was a better option. He was always chasing after some poor girl and being let down constantly.

“Introduce me then” she edges, her eyebrow arches you in question. She nudges you out of the kitchen, your feet are walking towards where Rafe stood. Throwing back your drink in a hurry, hoping the alcohol would numb your brain from this horrible situation that was about to unfold.

“Go on” Kelsie states, crossing her arms in front of her small chest. You know she thinks you're lying and you were, but no way are you going to let her find out.

You clear the back of your throat and step into the group in front of you, they all look at you but don’t say a word. Looking you up and down in question and then looking behind you at your friend.

Rafe’s eyes meet yours and you step in front of him. “Please play along” you beg, he doesn’t move away from you. Your cupping his face and pressing your lips to his, the alcohol had definitely number the anxious butterflies which had now been replaced with something different, you couldn’t quite explain the feeling.

Rafes arm wraps around your waist and his fingers wrap around the nape of your neck, you're unsure why you let his tongue slip into your mouth. You were actually quite enjoying the kiss before your best friend tapped you on the shoulder breaking the kiss up.

“So this is the boyfriend? Damn y/n didn’t take you for the PDA kind of gal” she joked, she dropped her hand out for Rafe to shake. Before you could even say anything he was shaking her hand and giving her a soft smile.

Your eyes wander around the room. The only people looking were his friends, they looked confused but kept their mouths shut and sipped on their beers in amusement.

“Nice to meet you” he said, you had never actually heard his voice before and it was sending shivers down your spine or was that his hand causing the shivers? You hadn’t realized his hand held you by the small of your back. You couldn’t believe you were getting away with the lie. It all felt too easy but that came crashing down instantly when your best friend decided to ask questions, you really hadn’t thought this through.

“So why did you wait all night to tell me you had a boyfriend? I’m your best friend!” Kelsie questioned, you could see the hesitation behind her eyes. She didn’t want you to think she didn’t believe but she also just wanted to know why you’d keep it from her.

“Well my dearest best friend Kelsie, you wouldn’t shut up about it and honestly I wanted to drag it out as long as possible so I could see your face when you saw how gorgeous he is” you state, grabbing Rafe by the jaw and pecking him on the lips. His fingers dug into your hips pulling you closer to him, your own arm wrapping around his waist.

“Well shit! You got a boyfriend! Fucking finally! Hallelujah!” She shouts, jumping up and down on the spot in pure delight. You're not sure why she’s always been obsessed with finding you a boyfriend, or why she really wanted you to get laid. “Honestly 22 and never had a boyfriend shocking!”.

You just about died on the spot, the redness creeped up your neck and you squeezed your eyes shut in embarrassment. How many times was she going to embarrass you tonight?

You could hear his friends chuckling under their breaths and whispering but Rafe didn’t budge, you couldn’t bear to look at his face.

“So how did you two meet?”

You're about to tell her we can do proper introductions another day and that we should enjoy the party because she goes back home soon but to your surprise Rafe leans down and kisses your cheek.

“This one got stuck in a lift in my fathers building. I watched her through the security footage and had to get the fire brigade in because the poor thing was hyperventilating”.

Your brows crease in confusion, that has actually happened to you recently but he wasn’t around and you were sure his dad didn’t own the building.

“Anyway I was there when it opened and comforted her and we just clicked” he says, looking down at you with a smirk. He sends you a quick wink and looks back at your best friend who looks like she is about to burst out of excitement.

“How could you keep that from me!! Omg y/n you have a lot of explaining to do!” She exclaimed, pulling you away from Rafe. “I need to steal her away, nice meeting you!”.

You let her drag you away but not before turning around and mouthing thank you to Rafe who nods his head in acknowledgment.

You spend the next two hours making up lies and throwing back more shots, your head feels heavy now and you stabilize yourself by leaning against the fridge. Kelsie has run off to dance to some song with another one of your friends who showed up, you couldn’t stand straight so opted to stay back.

You were so deep in thought you didn’t feel the person moving you away from the fridge and into a seat, your eyes looking around to find Rafe sat next you.

“Oh hey boyfriend!” You laughed, patting his solid chest and ogling him shamelessly. “Hey girlfriend”.

The words send goosebumps all over your skin, tingles running down your legs. You give him a soft smile and accept the bottle of water he hands you.

“So I’m going to take you to a room upstairs because I don’t trust any of these guys especially as you're just about floating off that chair, we can talk in the morning”.

You're nodding your head and letting him scoop you from the chair, your head nuzzles into the crook of his neck and the moment his foot hits the first step your out like a light.

Tag list- @laylasbunbunny @h34rtsformilli @lydiasxxsworld @hallecarey1 @mountloverr @outerbankspov @cameronmedia @crunchy-leaves77 @vigilanteshitposting @pedrisgatorade @phoenixssugarbaby @rafemotherfuckingcameron @s-we-e-t-t-ea @rafesthroatbaby @alltoomay @moremaybank @drewstarkeysbae @alltoomay @mrssturnioloo @vigilanteshitposting @darleneslane @tierra-0604 @xo-hayleyy-xo @ethereal0810 @eliana772 @gabys-gabs @applelovesposts @starkey-zegras @definitelynotholly-blog @renmpsworld @delicatepiratecloud @hdhdhsy @speedycomputerfury @tiacordelia02 @loverofdrewstarkey @bbycowboi @teresalesbian @imnotpretzelsstuff @its-ria-07 @cameronmedia @crunchy-leaves77 @pedrisgatorade (If you no longer want to be tagged please let me know and if you want to be tagged please comment here )

[drewsandsebastianswife]

There are literally so many amazing and incredible stories on here but these are some of my favorite ones out there. I am literally in love with all of these and the writers of these incredible stories.

Rafe Cameron:

•you’re losing me: https://www.tumblr.com/runningfrom2am/719053666095595520/youre-losing-me-rc - @runningfrom2am

•Favorite Girl: https://www.tumblr.com/hotchsstuff/716329959750352896/favorite-girl-rafe-cameron - @hotchsstuff

•Daddy’s Money: https://www.tumblr.com/simpforboys/711179785199599616/daddys-money - @simpforboys

•Let’s have a good time: https://www.tumblr.com/cosmicmunsonwrites/724489956660215808/reader-gets-super-drunk-with-the-pogues-so-they - @cosmicmunsonwrites

Drew Starkey:

•“Petah…the horse is here”: https://www.tumblr.com/r66dus/733919510365700096/heyyy-lovely-iw-as-wondering-if-you-could-write - @r66dus

•The Puppy Interview: https://www.tumblr.com/r66dus/710183321911574528/the-puppy-interview - @r66dus

•The “Outer Banks” Cast Reads Thirst tweets: https://www.tumblr.com/r66dus/710806681295159296/omg-the-new-interview-of-reading-thirst-tweets-you - @r66dus

•He’s just Ken but he does it so well: https://www.tumblr.com/r66dus/734553710688174080/could-u-pls-do-drew-x-femreader-where-she-gets - @r66dus

Bucky Barnes:

•A Friend of Yours (series): https://www.tumblr.com/duuhrayliegh/657377608473919488/a-friend-of-yours - @duuhrayliegh

•Personal Pillow: https://www.tumblr.com/mrsbarnesblog/732081137629921280/personal-pillow - @mrsbarnesblog

•My Everything: https://www.tumblr.com/mrsbarnesblog/732264733481304064/my-everything - @mrsbarnesblog

Regulus Black:

•Second Son (series): https://www.tumblr.com/cherryslyce/712258161504108544/second-son-navigation - @cherryslyce

•Grudges: https://www.tumblr.com/petitemistletoe/720060966287638528/grudges - @petitemistletoe

•Grudges (part2): https://www.tumblr.com/petitemistletoe/721600346887208960/grudges-part-ii - @petitemistletoe

•to the moon and back: https://www.tumblr.com/lixzey/732308498806865920/to-the-moon-and-back - @lixzey

•Troublemakers: https://www.tumblr.com/mrsmikaelsxn/714984248955830272/troublemakers - @mrsmikaelsxn

• Monster Among Men: https://www.tumblr.com/lixzey/731884519292076032/monster-among-men - @lixzey

•My Cat in Disguise: https://www.tumblr.com/unabashednightmarepizza/724659775882821632/%F0%9D%91%80%F0%9D%91%A6-%F0%9D%90%B6%F0%9D%91%8E%F0%9D%91%A1-%F0%9D%90%BC%F0%9D%91%9B-%F0%9D%90%B7%F0%9D%91%96%F0%9D%91%A0%F0%9D%91%94%F0%9D%91%A2%F0%9D%91%96%F0%9D%91%A0%F0%9D%91%92 - @unabashednightmarepizza

•What side are you on?: https://www.tumblr.com/lustsickforyou/714730201963266048/what-side-are-you-on-sirius-black-x-reader - @lustsickforyou

•A snake and his little bird: https://www.tumblr.com/robynlilyblack/691307004956917760/a-snake-and-his-little-bird - @robynlilyblack

Timothée Chalamet:

•Letters (series): https://www.tumblr.com/lixzey/728997852322430976/letters-one-day-timoth%C3%A9e-receives-a-package-from - @lixzey

•forever yours.: https://www.tumblr.com/lixzey/733344558600028160/forever-yours - @lixzey

•mine, forever mine: https://www.tumblr.com/lixzey/733503682243706880/mine-forever-mine - @lixzey

Remus Lupin:

•seven minutes to forever: https://www.tumblr.com/lixzey/735140166433488896/hey-maybe-you-could-write-remus-lupin-x-fem - @lixzey

•Jealous Remus: https://www.tumblr.com/xxhispieceofheavenxx/708728354571993088/can-i-pls-request-remus-being-jealous-and - @xxhispieceofheavenxx

•sour wolf: https://www.tumblr.com/shiftermia/728286378678484992/sour-wolf - @shiftermia

•when was the last time you slept?: https://www.tumblr.com/girasollake/726673918069473280/could-you-possibly-do-the-one-bed-trope-with - @girasollake

•You’re Losing Me (series): https://www.tumblr.com/astonishment/718987676510978048/%F0%9D%98%A0%F0%9D%98%B0%F0%9D%98%B6%F0%9D%98%B3%F0%9D%98%A6-%F0%9D%98%93%F0%9D%98%B0%F0%9D%98%B4%F0%9D%98%AA%F0%9D%98%AF%F0%9D%98%A8-%F0%9D%98%94%F0%9D%98%A6 - @astonishment

•At Arms Length: https://www.tumblr.com/astonishment/729767772079407104/%F0%9D%98%88%F0%9D%98%B5-%F0%9D%98%88%F0%9D%98%B3%F0%9D%98%AE%F0%9D%98%B4-%F0%9D%98%93%F0%9D%98%A6%F0%9D%98%AF%F0%9D%98%A8%F0%9D%98%B5%F0%9D%98%A9 - @astonishment

•professor, professor: https://www.tumblr.com/lixzey/732668122404978688/professor-professor - @lixzey

•”She’s My Wife”: https://www.tumblr.com/kquil/731747952363716608/remus-lupin-2359-shes-my-wife-sum-you - @kquil

I literally have to thank @astonishment for bringing me into the marauders fandom. I LOVE Harry Potter but Mal made me fall in love with James and Remus with her incredible writing!! I literally read all her works in less than a week🫢🫣😂

James Potter:

•Time Warp: https://www.tumblr.com/astonishment/693982145556955136/%F0%9D%98%9B%F0%9D%98%AA%F0%9D%98%AE%F0%9D%98%A6-%F0%9D%98%9E%F0%9D%98%A2%F0%9D%98%B3%F0%9D%98%B1 - @astonishment

•Why Did She Say Yes?: https://www.tumblr.com/astonishment/697329877925380096/%F0%9D%96%B6%F0%9D%97%81%F0%9D%97%92-%F0%9D%96%A3%F0%9D%97%82%F0%9D%96%BD-%F0%9D%96%B2%F0%9D%97%81%F0%9D%96%BE-%F0%9D%96%B2%F0%9D%96%BA%F0%9D%97%92-%F0%9D%96%B8%F0%9D%96%BE%F0%9D%97%8C - @astonishment

•Darling, Dearest, Dead: https://www.tumblr.com/astonishment/698958021732204544/%F0%9D%98%8B%F0%9D%98%A2%F0%9D%98%B3%F0%9D%98%AD%F0%9D%98%AA%F0%9D%98%AF%F0%9D%98%A8-%F0%9D%98%8B%F0%9D%98%A6%F0%9D%98%A2%F0%9D%98%B3%F0%9D%98%A6%F0%9D%98%B4%F0%9D%98%B5-%F0%9D%98%8B%F0%9D%98%A6%F0%9D%98%A2%F0%9D%98%A5 - @astonishment

•All Of The Benefits: https://www.tumblr.com/astonishment/708662967233822720/%F0%9D%96%A0%F0%9D%97%85%F0%9D%97%85-%F0%9D%96%AE%F0%9D%96%BF-%F0%9D%96%B3%F0%9D%97%81%F0%9D%96%BE-%F0%9D%96%A1%F0%9D%96%BE%F0%9D%97%87%F0%9D%96%BE%F0%9D%96%BF%F0%9D%97%82%F0%9D%97%8D%F0%9D%97%8C - @astonishment

•If I Kiss You, I’m Sorry: https://www.tumblr.com/astonishment/711289099349311488/%F0%9D%96%A8%F0%9D%96%BF-%F0%9D%96%A8-%F0%9D%96%AA%F0%9D%97%82%F0%9D%97%8C%F0%9D%97%8C-%F0%9D%96%B8%F0%9D%97%88%F0%9D%97%8E-%F0%9D%96%A8%F0%9D%97%86-%F0%9D%96%B2%F0%9D%97%88%F0%9D%97%8B%F0%9D%97%8B%F0%9D%97%92 - @astonishment

•You’re Losing Me (series): https://www.tumblr.com/astonishment/718987676510978048/%F0%9D%98%A0%F0%9D%98%B0%F0%9D%98%B6%F0%9D%98%B3%F0%9D%98%A6-%F0%9D%98%93%F0%9D%98%B0%F0%9D%98%B4%F0%9D%98%AA%F0%9D%98%AF%F0%9D%98%A8-%F0%9D%98%94%F0%9D%98%A6 - @astonishment

•Game Night: https://www.tumblr.com/thewriterghost/733238745843826688/game-night - @thewriterghost

•Rivals: https://www.tumblr.com/mastermindmiko/730404983676321792/rivals - @mastermindmiko

(TASM) Peter Parker:

•Stacked Against You: https://www.tumblr.com/delicate-dorothea/721251792081518592/stacked-against-you - @delicate-dorothea

•The Last Time: https://www.tumblr.com/delicate-dorothea/725983375860645888/the-last-time - @delicate-dorothea

•How You Get the Girl: https://www.tumblr.com/californ1asnow/721891388315320320/how-you-get-the-girl - @californ1asnow

Coriolanus Snow: I promised myself I would not like Snow because of the first hunger games movies but @runningfrom2am ‘s leveling the playing field series made me break, it’s just SO GOOD

•leveling the playing field (series): https://www.tumblr.com/runningfrom2am/735903707790819329/take-me-to-the-lakes-where-all-the-poets-went-to - @runningfrom2am

•money, power, glory: https://www.tumblr.com/kitscutie/734552947740082176/omg-if-youre-still-wanting-requests-for-coryo - @kitscutie

•snow and roses: https://www.tumblr.com/kitscutie/734453621921611777/hi-i-saw-your-post-about-snow-omg-can-i-request - @kitscutie

•snow and roses (part2): https://www.tumblr.com/kitscutie/734607629043761152/snow-and-roses-part-ii-coriolanus-snow-x - @kitscutie

•cold nights (series): https://www.tumblr.com/runningfrom2am/737839190954409984/cold-nights-masterlist - @runningfrom2am

Charles Leclerc:

•HEARTBREAK ON TOUR: https://www.tumblr.com/twobluejeans/724169015147315200/welcome-to-the-masterlist-youre-just-in - @twobluejeans

[jukeboxsweethearttt]

Sweet Carolina

OlderGovernor!Rafe Cameron X BigShotLawyer!FemReader

Before anything I just want to thank @starfxkr for helping me figure out this idea!! She’s literally the sweetest and I also want to thank @twdrose for bringing something like this to my attention in a request I know this isn’t exactly what you wanted but its on the base of it and I hope you like it❤️💋

This will be a 10 part series loosely based off of The show Scandal and The infamous Bill Clinton & Monica Lewinsky Scandal and named after Lana Del Rey songs (mostly unreleased) which I do not own any rights to of these examples and everything written in this is a image of my imagination! And I will link the song that goes with each Chapter as they are published!! So without further ado welcome to Sweet Carolina

Preface

The beginning.

Damn You

Rafe and Reader “meet for the first time”.

Money Power Glory

Rafe pays off a mysterious man who knows his secret.

Happy Birthday Mr.Cameron

You make a surprise speech and visit for Rafe’s Birthday.

Yayo

Rumors about the affair start to spread causing the two of you to indulge into something other than sex.

The Cameron’s

Rafe and his family address the rumors as your reputation crashes even further down.

The Other Woman

Claire catches you and Rafe during a very coitus moment.

Tired Of Singing The Blues

Divorce papers are on the table, You finally speak out and Rivals are consumed by the news.

Boarding School

Rafe and Claire prepare to send the girls off as the drama unfolds.

Crazy For You

Your plan finally comes into action.

Dreamgirl

Life is exactly how you wanted it.

[strangespinapple]

RC ~ When It Hurts

Rafe Cameron x FemReader

Blurb: you and rafe are together. and lately he's been acting differently so you confront him. but what happens when you find out he's been lying to you?

Warnings: angst, making out, cheating accusations, dark rafe (coming soon)

Word Count: 723

A/N: hey so I was planning on posting an entire fic with smut and everything when the poll was done, but I had to put my cat down. i've had her for 10 years and she was literally my best friend, so I've been taking some time to grieve. but I figured that I should post a blurb so that y'all can have something to read while I continue to work on the rest of the fic, and maybe just maybe a part 2 and 3 🤷🏽‍♀️. Enjoy!

P2 Here

Song Inspo: Hurts So Good by Astrid S

You and Rafe are the outer banks it couple. The minute you became his, you became the kook princess. There was nothing you could ever want for, and nothing anyone would ever deny you. The entire island knew you were Rafe's and he was yours. When you and rafe first began dating it was everything you could ever dream of and so much more. But it didn’t take you long to see the dark, ruthless, and impulsive side of him. Rafe Cameron is a lot of things, a complex puzzle you are still trying to figure out.

For the past few weeks Rafe has been acting really weird. Normally he would be glued to your side and be at your beck and call 24/7. But lately he has been out all hours of the night and barely saying two words to you. He’s even been hiding his phone from you. Whenever you would enter a room or sit next to him, he would put his phone face down or tilt his phone to the side so you couldn't fully see the screen. You know your intuition is trying to tell you something, but you didn’t want to invade his privacy by going through his phone. So you decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and ask him about his behavior. 

You were laying against the headboard reading your book, when rafe walked out of the bathroom heading toward y'all's shared bed. 

“We need to talk” you sighed as you put your bookmark in your book and placed it on your nightstand table. 

“About what?” He plopped down next to you. 

“I need to ask you a serious question and you better be honest with me.” 

He furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head. “Okay.” 

“Are you cheating on me?”

Rafe’s face drops a little, then he quickly regains his composure. But not without you noticing it first. 

“No, are you kidding me? How could you accuse me of something like that?” 

His face scrunched up with a look of hurt and shock on it. You kept your same expression, not fully believing him. 

“I’m not accusing you, I'm just asking you a question. You don’t spend time with me anymore. You act like you’re too busy to speak to me. You hide your phone from me, when you never did that before. You’ve been out all hours of the night and I just feel like you’re hiding something from me.” 

“Baby it’s because I am hiding something from you.” 

You turned your body towards him while raising your eyebrow. He places his hands up in defense and innocence. 

“I’m planning a surprise for you. I know I’ve been working so much and I wanted to do something special for you.” 

You could tell by the emotion in his voice and the look of hurt on his face that he was telling you the truth. You felt your heart sink into your ass, instantly feeling guilty. Overall Rafe is a really great boyfriend, way better than your ex, and you just accused him of committing a serious offense against your relationship. 

“Rafey I am so sorry. Please forget I said anything please. I’m so stupid.” 

You placed your hand on top of his, gently squeezing it. Rafe takes both of your hands in his, and holds them up to his lips and kisses them. 

“You are anything but stupid. I know how suspicious it seems, but I need you to believe me when I say I am not cheating on you.” 

He let go of your hands and brought his hands to both sides of your face. He caressed your jaw, while his thumb rubbed back and forth on your cheeks, staring deeply into your eyes. 

“I would never hurt you like that. I love you too much to lose you.” 

“I'm sorry baby.” You stared at his lips as he did the same to you. 

“I know. I’m sorry too, but we’ll be okay. I promise.” 

He pulled your face closer to his and captured your lips in a cultivating kiss. It started off slowly and passionately, filled with love and raw emotions. 

If only you knew it was all a lie. Rafe Cameron is a lot of things and unfortunately for you, a liar is definitely one of them.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

P2 Here

A/N: thank you guys so much for reading my very first fic!! let me know if you guys would like a part 2 or if you would like me to make this into a series.

I have so many ideas for this fic and for many others. I'm still learning how to navigate Tumblr as a writer but soon I will be taking request for blurbs or full fics and have a fully functioning masterlist.

please leave a like and/or a comment I will respond back. Any feedback is appreciated BUT BE NICE cuz I will bite back 😉

[stxrlng]

My Blue Eyes

pairing: Rafe cameron x femreader

Warning: soft rafe, beautiful moment with sweet rafe but he’s crying

“Rafe..” My soft tone setting the tone as i walk up to him as he sits on the dock with his feet dangling off the ledge into the water. “Y/n your here!” He says as he stands to greet me wiping his tears “ Rafe what happened?” I ask as i meet him half way so i can wrap me arms around his neck “It’s just my dad i wish he loved me like he does sarah” My heart breaks for him in that moment i see that little boy in him fighting for comfort i kiss his tear stained cheeks as my hands find his hair he gives me a sad smile “I truly love you so much” Rafe says with a soft tone as he wraps around me taking me into a hug i giggle “Oh rafey i love you” I say ruffing up his hair he squeezes me tight holding me like i’m his only life line i relax into him just wanting to be in his presence “ You’re perfect Rafe” I say because it’s true he is even though he has some things wrong with his mental hes perfect the way he is we spend moments hugging each other like we never wanna let go “ No you’re perfect” He says as he pulls away then kisses my cheek……

[ash5monster01]

Learning to Love 18+

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x FemReader!PlusSize

Summary: It's not uncommon for you to be shamed for your size, it is however uncommon to be told that no one would ever date you because of it. Rafe on the other hand is used to being called a jerk, that is until he is accused of seeing people for only what's on the surface. It's purely coicidental you two meet right after these accusations are thrown your way. So even though you two don't know each other, and probably never would've looked the others way before this, now you're both going to prove a point. It's simple really, prove others wrong and don't fall in love. Easier said than done.

Intro

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Final

[ash5monster01]

Learning to Love Part 2

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x FemReader!PlusSize

Warnings: 18+, langauge, angst, fluff, mentions of bullying, body image issues, fat shaming, fake relationship, eventual smut, minor enemies to lovers trope.

Summary: It's not uncommon for you to be shamed for your size, it is however uncommon to be told that no one would ever date you because of it. Rafe on the other hand is used to being called a jerk, that is until he is accused of seeing people for only what's on the surface. It's purely coicidental you two meet right after these accusations are thrown your way. So even though you two don't know each other, and probably never would've looked the others way before this, now you're both going to prove a point. It's simple really, prove others wrong and don't fall in love. Easier said than done.

word count: 2.1k

Part 1 ←→ Part 3

Masterlist

You and Rafe had spent the better part of the week getting to know each other. He would come to bar after work, pester you to leave until you caved, then you’d find yourself on some sort of adventure whether it was sneaking onto the beach after hours or just watching a movie in his apartment. There was no denying you were attracted to him but at least you both had established some sort of friendship. You had actually come to enjoy his company and you assumed he enjoyed yours too. Even Mila and Randy had come to enjoy him, liking how he brought out the leisure side of you. Considering all you ever do was work. They liked that you finally found someone that could pull you away to enjoy yourself. Too bad it wasn’t real.

That’s why when he shows up to the bar at seven o’clock on the dot as always, it takes no persuading from you to grab your bag and join him on the other side of the bar. His hand slides easily into your own, smirk worn proudly on his face, and you almost hate how simple all of this is. How he has become such a natural part of your routine in only a short time. It makes you realize how much harder this will be when it has to end. So you push away the feeling of despair, ignore the confused looks from customers, and tell yourself to worry about this another day.

“Have anything in mind for tonight?” Rafe leans down to whisper in your ear over the loud music in the bar. You try to ignore the shiver that crawls down your spine as you look at him.

“Not particularly” and this response paints a devious smirk across his features as he leads you out and to the same truck he’s been helping you into all week.

“Good because I have an idea” he grins at you once in the drivers seat and the minute he turns out of the parking lot you have a pretty good idea on where he was taking you.

It’s not a far drive to the beach which is where you realize he is taking you. The moon is almost full tonight, illuminating the black water in a white glow. You’ve discovered Rafe has a soft spot for the beach, you have an inclination it has something to do with his childhood. Yet you never bother to ask and follow him onto the dark beach instead to provide some company for him. You realize he was even prepared for this as he lays the blanket on the soft sand and helps you down to the ground. It’s when he joins your side you decide to speak up.

“Felt like the beach tonight huh?” you smile at him and Rafe’s eyes cast over you, so dark in the night but glimmering with admiration. Friendly admiration.

“Sometimes I forget how much I miss it. Before being this important person I was once just a kid who spent every day itching to get out on the water and surf” you see the pain in his eyes, the confusion, and if you were closer you’d know what to do to comfort him. Sadly he was still just a stranger, someone you had known for a week.

“We can surf sometime, I’m not very good but I enjoy it nonetheless” you tell him and what you don’t expect is the smile that cracks across his face.

“You’d go surfing for me?” you roll your eyes at his teasing tone but smile at him anyway.

“Sure you big dope” you tell him and he smiles before leaning back to lay in the sand. The stars reflect in his eyes and you find yourself imagining a life where Rafe could like a girl like you for real, to look at you with those same stars in his eyes, and choose you above anyone else. In fact, you wished there was any world that was possible.

“It’s crazy how fast you can go from caring about the things you like to what others think of you” the words he utters holds weight he doesn’t understand. You assume for the both of you. Rafe went from caring about things like surfing to pleasing others, the same way you went from enjoying life to hating what you had been dealt. Hating what you looked like and the outcome of that. Trying so desperately to change, to lose the weight, and in the end know that maybe you’d never trust someone for liking you as skinny if they never knew you when you were fat. It would always be there in the back of your mind, wondering if they’d have been here if you stayed the same.

“If it helps I think everyone does. You lose those little kid goggles and get thrown into the real world. Hence why middle school is so scary” you tell him, laying beside him and praying he doesn’t notice the way your breasts expand across your chest, the way your chin doubles due to the position change, and how your stomach sways to whatever side you lean towards. It’s the position that had those boys making beached whale jokes, is this position that makes you vulnerable and unattractive to most.

“I want to be carefree again. I forgot what it was like to live my life for myself and not others” he tells you and you nod, eyes scanning over the big dipper in the sky, the waves slowly crashing in your ears.

“We can do that too you know, this agreement between us doesn’t have to be just dating. We can help each other enjoy life again” you don’t know why you suggest it. You’re already nervous about the agreement you have going on, the last thing you need is another clause. There’s just something about Rafe Cameron that can’t keep you away.

“I’d like that, which brings me to my next thing” you turn your head to face him, eyebrows furrowing at his sentence.

“Next thing?” you question and his head rolls to face your own, palms resting across his stomach.

“I have a work event tomorrow night, I was hoping you’d attend” this has you sitting back up, heart rate accelerating at the thought of this finally becoming public. Had a week been enough for you to be convincing? After all your friends were convinced, Mila ecstatic for you. This was Rafe’s work friends, professional people.

“Wow, um yeah” Rafe sits up beside you, hand falling to your shoulder.

“I know it’s soon, I didn’t think it was a date event until today. I figured I should probably bring my fake girlfriend” you nod and he can see the nervousness in your eyes but just like the first time you both met he sees that fierce strength behind them. The will to not let anyone undermine your power.

“I’ll go, just tell me a time and dress code” you find yourself saying and he smiles which you return until that hand on your shoulder is running behind your hair and pushing it from your face.

“I was thinking we should kiss” this has you gaping like a fish, brain actually malfunctioning over his words.

“Kiss?” he doesn’t miss the fear that floods your features and he vaguely wonders what kind of emotional damage a person would have to have to react like this over a kiss. Something he had done a hundred times but has an inkling you’ve only done a few.

“Yeah, I know you said not a lot of PDA but I’m a touchy person. Those guys know that and I figure if I show up with a date I’m not affectionate towards they’ll catch on” you let his words settle in, try to let them ease your comforts. He watches you swallow away your nerves before adding on. “I figured our first kiss will be better to have in private then there”

“So a practice run?” you ask and he knows this is you trying to convince yourself of this, that something as simple as a kiss couldn’t be real.

“Yeah, work out all the kinks and stuff” and this has you snorting in laughter which makes him happy to know he’s lessened the pressure on you.

“Yeah, so hopefully we don’t smash noses or something” you tease back with a laugh but the laugh is cut short when his hand presses against your jaw, fingers curling behind your neck. You suck in a sharp breath as you prepare for what he’s about to do. You’re repeating over and over in your head this isn’t real but when his thumb slowly brushes across your bottom lip you find it to be useless. Rafe has bewitched you in every way a man can to a simple girl like you. Which means you’ve already broken the contract, a rule you made. A rule you’ll never admit to breaking in just a week.

“Ready?” and he knows you can’t answer but over the week he has also gotten to know you and if you didn’t want this you would say it.

So he leans forward, watches how your eyes flutter close and for a moment admires how God damn pretty you are before reaching his face to your own. You shudder against him when his lips just barely brush yours and his hot breath fanning across your face has your stomach doing somersaults. Finally he closes the gap, lips closing around your bottom lip before opening and moving in sync with your own. You desperately want to grab onto him but this isn’t real. It’s practice. So after a few beats and the most mind numbing kiss of your life he pulls away with a soft smile and you vaguely wonder how he looks so calm when he just kissed you stupid.

“See, nothing” and your stomach drops, butterflies killed. Rafe turns back to the water, not realizing what he just said had ruined it. You needed to get better at reminding yourself there is nothing to ruin. It was practice, practice that felt all too real and reminded you of exactly why this agreement was dangerous for you. You loved big, not fake.

“If you’re having me come to this dinner thing I do have something to ask” you muster up the nerve to say and he turns his attention back to you, lips a little swollen and eyes glossed over. He looks like a boy who’s just been kissed and for the first time you realize there doesn’t have to be feelings for him to look like that.

“Anything” he tells you earnestly and you stretch your fingers across your legs, feeling a bit silly for asking.

“Could you come to my apartment one of these nights? Mila has been bugging me about how we’re always at your place and never at ours. I figure if we were dating it would make sense for you to come over to mine too” you say and he nods while he takes to thought what you’ve just said.

“Yeah, that’s sounds fine. We could have dinner with Mila a night” he says and you smile to hide the nervousness of him agreeing. This wasn’t nerves for your feelings towards him, this was nerves over your best friend getting close enough to notice this might possibly be fake.

“Thank you” you tell him and he smirks his signature smirk and wraps an arm around your shoulders as his eyes cast back out and over the waves. To the naked eye you look like a real couple, staring gazing on the beach, and in the silence you pretend you are because you can keep yourself from ever telling Rafe how you feel but at least you have this. Pretend, something to hold you over for the rest of your life, because if you never had this for real you surely wouldn’t now.

So tomorrow when you officially start this agreement between you two, you make yourself promise to be prepared for the end. At then end of the day you agreed to prove a point but that wouldn’t take forever. Rafe will soon have to leave and marry the girl of his dreams and the girl you could only wish to be. Tomorrow was practically the end already but at least he was yours in some sense of the word for only a moment. A moment you would cherish forever.

Taglist: @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @fishingirl12 @houseofperfecttaste @abbybarnesstuff @carma-fanficaddict @jjmaybankisbae @exhaustedbutelated @diagnosedpsychosis @daivny @drewstarkeygf @vinniehackersbaee @emsgoodthinkin @apollo3475 @https-urwife @willowalexissss @kisstaya @hcneyedsstuff @lexiereblogs @drewsuncrustables

Comment if you want to be added to the tag list :))

[ash5monster01]

Learning to Love Part 3

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x FemReader!PlusSize

Warnings: 18+, langauge, angst, fluff, mentions of bullying, body image issues, fat shaming, fake relationship, eventual smut, minor enemies to lovers trope.

Summary: It's not uncommon for you to be shamed for your size, it is however uncommon to be told that no one would ever date you because of it. Rafe on the other hand is used to being called a jerk, that is until he is accused of seeing people for only what's on the surface. It's purely coicidental you two meet right after these accusations are thrown your way. So even though you two don't know each other, and probably never would've looked the others way before this, now you're both going to prove a point. It's simple really, prove others wrong and don't fall in love. Easier said than done.

word count: 3.9k

Part 2 ←→ Part 4

Masterlist

When Rafe said work event the last thing you had pictured was this. You should’ve considering the dress he had sent over to your apartment. Yet now here you were, standing in a cocktail dress a vibrant cherry red. It dipped deep down into your chest and the skirt flowed out from the waist which was perfect for hiding your stomach. It was something you would’ve picked for yourself and somehow Rafe had done just that. Now he walked into the hotels grand ballroom, you latched onto his arm, while he wore another suit looking handsome as ever, and smiling at everyone he passed. Either he didn’t notice the looks they gave both of you or he was ignoring them. You were to nervous to care.

"Breath" his voice invading your space makes you jump slightly and you look up to him and his permanent smirk. Rafe admires this new side of you, one that isn't in a bathing suit or jeans and T-shirt. Your makeup is done to perfection, eyes sparkling up into his own, and the dress you wore accentuated how perfect all of you was. Rafe wished you could see that, he wished you didn't think he thought less of you. Yet how could you believe any different when he was dating you to prove he could date unattractive women. He's lucky you hadn't slapped him but when he considers the reasons why you didn't he realizes that is what you believe. That you are unworthy of a guy like him. He wished you knew he was nothing special.

"I'll breath once I have a drink" you tell him, clutching tightly to his arm. His warm laugh escapes past his lips and unexpected to you he leans down and presses a sweet kiss to your forehead. With a face now as red as your dress you desperatley need that drink more than before.

"Let's hit the bar sweetheart" he tells you and you don't disagree as he leads you that way, arm slipping free of your own and snaking around your waist. You hate that getting closer to him comforts you so you focus on your destination and prepare the get tipsy enough to make it through the night. You allow Rafe to order your drinks as you nervously scan across the crowd of many good looking and professional people.

"Listen, I know this is a lot" Rafe says as he places your drink in your line of sight, stopping your anxious watching. His sentence hangs like you know there is more coming so you take a quick gulp and turn to face him. "But you're comfortable with me, that's what this whole week as been about. So just pretend it's one of those nights, you and me, no one else"

"Sounds easy enough" you tell him and Rafe smiles, stepping more into your personal space and pushing your curled hair behind your ear, the hair Mila had spent an hour doing while gushing about the date you had planned.

"It is, we don't care about what these people think" he tells you and you chuckle and sip from your drink.

"Isn't that the whole point?" and your words sting because your right. Hadn't Rafe done all of this because he cared about what these people think? You don't miss the sad look on his face, the way his eyebrows draw together.

"Not anymore" he says and you aren't entirely sure what he means by that, but based on the way he swirls his straw in his drink you know there is so much more going on behind the eyes of the beautiful boy in front of you. "My sister doesn't talk to me anymore"

"What?" this sentence from Rafe comes out of no where and you look to him to see pain for the first time running through his features.

"My sister Sarah. When we were young we were close but when we got older I pushed her away. I hated her because I knew she was my Dad's favorite. I fought so hard to get the same treatment he gave her and in the middle of it all I ended up losing my sister. Now my Dad is gone and the damage between me and her is impossible to repair. So I don't want to spend the rest of my life pleasing others while pushing people away. So yes we're here to make a point but it has everything to do with me and nothing to do with you" this is the most information about Rafe's personal life you had ever gotten. Your heart yearns for him in a way different than it has all week. It's the moment you realize your feelings for him were moving from silly little crush to something real. Without responding you step forward and wrap your arms around his waist. Rafe accepts the hug, squeezing you just as close.

"I bet you can fix it, it may take time but the good thing about life is you always have room to heal" Rafe loves your optimism and when you pull away it's him who takes you by surprise by leaning down and pecking a kiss to your lips. As your brain tries to process what exactly just happened a man approaches the both of you.

"Rafe, happy to see you here" the smirk on this mans face is different from the one Rafe wears. This one is sly, like he knows something you don't and it makes you hate it.

“You too Levi, hey this is Y/N” Rafe says as he gives him a firm handshake and you quickly put a wide smile on your face, looking to the boy now named Levi.

“Y/N huh, where’d you find this loser?” he nods his head towards Rafe, taking your hand into his own and giving it a firm shake. His actions seem kind, the gesture and teasing joke, but you can see it in his eyes. He’s wondering why the hell Rafe would walk in here with a girl like you.

“My bar, in his defense he didn’t quite know it was mine until after we hit it off” you come back quickly, matching his practiced performance because the last thing you were going to do today was let a little man with a big complex undermine you.

“Your bar, interesting. Where’s that?” he asks, his arms crossing over his chest and you can see the amusement in his eyes. How he already thinks less of you.

“He just wants to know so he can add another place to the list of bars he can drink at during his lunch break” Rafe swoops in, arm wrapping around your waist and your thankful he’s standing on your side of enemy lines.

“He says that like he doesn’t come with me” Levi says more towards you than him and you laugh even though you don’t want to give him the satisfaction.

“Well I’m sure you’ve heard of my place, Skull Dive” something flashes behind Levi’s eyes. More than likely recognition.

“We go there for lunch often, great food, cute waitresses” Levi says the last part more directed towards Rafe and you now realize Levi was one of the men with Rafe that called Callie unattractive. Asshole.

“I’m happy to hear it” you tell him even though you’re ready to punch him and based on the way you’ve tensed against Rafe he knows it too.

“We’re going to find a table, nice talking with you Levi” Rafe butts in before his idiotic friend can add anymore and Levi pretends to be disappointed as you grab your drinks and walk away.

“Enjoying yourself yet?” Rafe asks with a teasing tone and you roll your eyes, sipping the rest of your drink back in one gulp.

“A few more of these and a little less assholes and I will be” you grin at him and he smiles, giving your waist a squeeze as you approach a table. Rafe pulls out your chair and kisses your cheek like the gentleman he is before grabbing your glass and excusing himself to get more drinks. You take this time to scan the room around you, now a little less intimidated knowing most of the poeple here were just like Levi. Too cocky for their own good and missing out on the true point of life, to just enjoy it, not be the best.

"You're new" the voice startles you as a blonde girl slides into the chair across from you. She is one of the prettiest girls you've ever actually seen in real life. Her hair flows down her whole back, blue eyes so bright you're pretty sure they're peircing straight through you, and she's so small she must wear a size 0. Hence why she's in the most form fitting royal blue mermaid dress you've ever seen. Not a roll is visible on her and suddenly you're more self consious than you were before. Yet she smiles at you with the firendliest smile you've seen all night so you pull yourself together.

"Yeah, I guess I am" you smile at her even though you can't help but realize she is the kind of girl Rafe should really be here with.

"It's so nice having a fresh face around here, I'm AJ. I work in marketing and these events are such a drag" she's bubbly, energetic, and kind. She has it all, you wonder what kind of good she has done in her past lives to have it all in this one.

"I'm Y/N, I'm here with my date-" but you're cut short when Rafe scoots the chair out beside you and sets the fresh drink in front of you. AJ's eyes widen only slightly before shooting a wide smile at him.

"Mr. Cameron, quite the date you have Y/N" there is a weight to her words that you wish you knew what it meant.

"AJ we've talked about this" Rafe says with familiarity and jealousy burns in your stomach at the sight of them. So picture perfect. Movie star perfect.

"What ever do you mean Mr. Cameron?" she says in a teasing and flirty tone, she leans foreward, chin resting on her hand. Rafe recognizes the flirting and does what any good boyfriend, fake boyfriend would do.

"AJ here has known me since highschool and has now taken to referring to me as Mr. Cameron instead of Rafe. It drives me nuts" he tells you, hand reaching to squeeze your own, and you're comforted only slightly but entirely aware there is a history there.

"He's a CEO of a company now Y/N, he should wear the title proudly" and the way Rafe stiffens beside you tells you everything you need to know about how he feels on this subject.

"I'm sure he does, but as a boss myself it is hard to hear people who were once your peers refer to you as some heirachy. Makes you feel more normal to keep things more on a first name basis" you say, squeezing Rafe's hand back and he smiles wide like in just a single moment you've understood entirely how he felt about this.

"Rafe was the king of our class, nothing new to him" she teases but you know he doesn't see it that way, that this was a part of the same past he was trying to move on from.

"And AJ was the wild and free one" he shoots back and she just grins, eyes sparkling with a lifetime you had never dared to live before. You played things safe because risk would just get you walked all over.

"I still am Rafe, still am" she says as she pushes herself to stand again and you try not to admire how perfect she is, knowing all the men looked on for her tiny waist and large chest.

"Sounds like something your boss shouldn't know about" he teases but there's a sharp edge to his voice, one that say he doesn't want her messing around here anymore.

"Well it was nice meeting you Y/N, goodluck with this one" and before you can return the pleasantries she has turned and gone with a sway of her hips, shiny white teeth flashing smiles at everyone she passes. When she's a safe enough distance away you sneak a glance at the boy beside you just to see he is already staring back with a soft smile.

"I'm pretty sure you're the only person here that I like right now" he says and you can't help the blush that flushes your cheeks. So far you both had been fighting against people who more than likely would never understand you both, you were an alliance.

"You sure? AJ here seemed to know you pretty well. I'd almost say it seems like you've dated before" it was teasing but also curiosity, a need to know if Rafe had gone from a supermodel girl to you.

"We did, a long time ago" that is the answer you're looking for but regret it almost instantly considering the way it sears your heart in two.

"And it didn't work out. She seemed nice enough, just a bit ditzy" you say and he shrugs, tapping his ring against the whiskey glass in his hand.

"We didn't really connect we mostly just-" but his words hang in the air and you realize how that sentence was supposed to end. Slept together. Two good looking people with mutual attraction, pleasuring the other. No strings attached, simple good fun, something you had never dared to do. Anyone you had ever revealed yourself to had to fight to earn your trust and even then it depends on if they were patient enough to wait. You figured it was something you'd never be comfortable with. "Look it doesn't matter, she doesn't matter"

"Yeah, we're just here to have fun" you say and he nods, eyes shining into your own.

"Exactly" he says picking up his glass and clinking it against your own, and he smiles before you both dump back the rest of your drinks. This one was for fake dating and getting drunk enugh to pretend that you ever have a chance with someone like Rafe because if he had slept with a girl like AJ he would never downgrade to you. That was something you'd just have to learn to be okay with but until then, at least you could get drunk.

Which is exactly what you end up doing. By the end of the night you've had more drinks than you can count and Rafe being ever the gentlemen that he was he did too. Actually went drink for drink with you which was surprising considering owning a bar had made you quite good at holding your liqour. It made you wonder what kind of expeirience he had with it to be able to keep up with you. Majority of the people had filed out, only a few stragglers and the two of you giggling at each other even though neither of you were saying anything really funny.

"We can't drive home" Rafe giggles beside you and you agree, noting how there is twice as many candles on the table then there was before. You hadn't been this drunk in a while.

"Can we go swimming?" your question causes him to snort in laughter but he realizes fairly quickly that you're serious. You hands are pulling at the straps of your dress like its stuffy in here and the movement causes his eyes to dip down the deep cut of your dress, cleavage on perfect display, and suddenly he was so very thirsty. He needed something before he was smothering his face in the softness of your chest.

"You can't swim here unless you have a room" he tells you, arms wrapping around your chair and pulling you close to him. With your legs now touching you can't help but thnk about the warmth radiating from him and how strong he was for pulling you close.

"Sounds like that solves both of our problems" you say and he knows it isn't meant to come out suggestive but in a way you did just suggest getting a hotel room with him.

"You want to get a hotel room with me?" he asks, eyebrows raised and you smile innocently at him.

"Sure" you giggle and he knows you don't hear any meaning behind these words, that you're just as drunk as him. He wishes sober that you would agree to get a hotel room with him, that you would believe it was possible to do so with him. He knows that you don't think he's attracted to you but he was the moment you sat down next to him and after getting to know you all week he was even more. He had been so upset with himself over knowing he had spent his whole life dating girls he thought he was supposed to be attracted to when after all looks had nothing to do with it. You were just as beautiful as the next person, just as beautiful as AJ, and he wished more than anything that he could take you up to that hotel room and show you that for real. Show you just how perfect all of you were to him.

"Then let's do it" he tells you while standing, helping pull you to your feet. You both laugh like children, stumbling to leave the ballroom and find the front desk. The guy standing behind doesn't seem surprised to see you two, probably the both of you not being the first couple to buy a hotel room that night. You picutred the various affairs that could've went down tonight but you were just happy to be here with Rafe.

"Floor 12 room 1,203" the guy tells you both, handing over the key card that would now magically open the doors to any room in this hotel you wanted, well except for the other rooms. Rafe grins at you while he thanks the man before leading you to the elevator. Waving the key the door opens and he helps you inside before pushing the button to the roof.

"I thought he said the twelth floor?" you question and Rafe smiles before pointing to the words beside the roof button. Pool & Rooftop Bar. You start to excitedly bounce beside him and he can only laugh as he hugs you close to him.

When the doors open you’re met with the cool night air and even better an abandoned rooftop. It seems the bar had been closed to accommodate the event you were both just at. How lucky. The aquamarine pool glows in the dark and the steam swirls above it and into the night air. You groan out loud and the sound has Rafe trying to calm himself down. You break free of his grip and walk slowly towards the pool. He watches as you slip off your shoes and reach towards the back of your dress. His mouth goes agape when he realizes you’re removing your bra and sliding it out from underneath the red fabric that clings to your body.

“Wet bras are the worst” you pout, dropping it beside your shoes. Rafe can’t utter a word as you gracefully dive in the pool, only a blur of red under the surface before popping back up and smiling wide at him. “Come on handsome, it feels great”

“You’re gonna kill me” you’re too drunk to know what he means but you watch him remove his suit jacket and shoes all before running his hands down the buttons of his shirt. Your mouth dries when he reaches for the button on his pants, them falling around his ankles and leaving him in tight black boxers.

“Jump” you call out and Rafe chuckles before jogging towards the edge and leaping high into the air. He cannonballs beside you and you laugh loudly as he pops up and shakes his head to rid himself of some water.

“How big was my splash?” he acts like a little boy and you can only smile as you tread towards him.

“Huge, I think it went over the edge of the building” you tell him, eyes glancing towards the infinity edge of the pool that looked over the skyline of a town you and Rafe both lived in for so long not knowing each other.

“Good, that’s what I was going for” he says as he swims towards you. Your hair is slicked back from the water and he realizes for the first time he is seeing all of your face. You’re even more beautiful than he thought.

“I’ve always loved the water” you say, head tipping back to look at the stars. Rafe stares at the expanse of your throat, imagining what kind of noises you’d make if he pressed his lips to it.

“Why’s that?” he asks and you sigh, laying down to float on your back. You’re silent so long he expects you not to answer but then finally you speak.

“When I was young I loved the water just for fun but when I was a bit older I loved it because it was the only time I could feel as feather light as the others girls. In the water you defy gravity and considering most days I wanted to float away from the world, water was the next best thing” Rafe knows you’d have never said this to him sober, this actually being the first time you had openly discussed your size with him. His heart yearns for you, knowing the pain that must come along with not fitting the normalized beauty standard. So he doesn’t respond and instead grabs your arm and floats you towards him.

Lifting your head you look at him to see a different look in his eyes than you ever have before. You allow him to move you anyway, his hands setting your own on his shoulders before pulling your waist towards his own. Your breath hitches when his hand slips down your thigh and lifts it to wrap around his waist. In the water there’s no weight at all so you wrap your other leg around his waist and pull him flush to you. His hands settle on your ass and your mind is screaming at you to not take this to heart. Yet based on the heat that pools at the bottom of your stomach you know this isn’t the case because you have your legs wrapped around a man like Rafe Cameron.

“I’ll float with you” it’s probably the sweetest thing someone has ever said to you and for the first time since Rafe kissed you on the beach you press a kiss on his lips, prepared to blame it on your drunkenness but let him know how much it means to you.

“Was that real or fake?” he asks when you pull away, your head tucking beside his own as you hug him tight.

“Real but only because that was the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me” you whisper and your response is enough for him to press his lips to your neck, hot breath fanning over the dewey skin, and raising goodbumps. You breathe heavily into his ear and fight everything in your power to not grind into him but you know he feels it too. You also know he wouldn’t never be in this position with you sober so you soak it in and already prepare for the heartbreak of having to let it go.

For now, you’ll just float.

Taglist: @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @fishingirl12 @houseofperfecttaste @abbybarnesstuff @carma-fanficaddict @jjmaybankisbae @exhaustedbutelated @diagnosedpsychosis @daivny @drewstarkeygf @vinniehackersbaee @emsgoodthinkin @apollo3475 @https-urwife @willowalexissss @kisstaya @hcneyedsstuff @lexiereblogs @drewsuncrustables @mveggieburger @marvel4life3000 @bibliophilewednesday @humungouspatrolwolf @ijustwanttoreadlols

Comment if you want to be added to the tag list :))

[ash5monster01]

Learning to Love Part 5

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x FemReader!PlusSize

Warnings: 18+, langauge, angst, fluff, mentions of bullying, body image issues, fat shaming, fake relationship, eventual smut, minor enemies to lovers trope.

Summary: It's not uncommon for you to be shamed for your size, it is however uncommon to be told that no one would ever date you because of it. Rafe on the other hand is used to being called a jerk, that is until he is accused of seeing people for only what's on the surface. It's purely coicidental you two meet right after these accusations are thrown your way. So even though you two don't know each other, and probably never would've looked the others way before this, now you're both going to prove a point. It's simple really, prove others wrong and don't fall in love. Easier said than done.

word count: 2.5k

Part 4 ←→ Part 6

Masterlist

“You’re going to his place again?” Mila groans from the couch. She thought you were going to stay home after the insane shift you both had just worked. She had also managed to put away half a bottle of wine in the time you were getting ready to go to Rafe’s. He had to work a late night at the office and he had practically begged you to come over for an hour or two even though you were exhausted as well.

"Yes, he is my boyfriend and he wants to see me" you tell her and she pouts, refilling the glass in her hand. You realize she should just drink from the bottle at this point.

"Lame" she says and you chuckle, pulling a hoodie over your head.

"You're only saying that because I have a boyfriend and you don't. Now you know what it's like for me sister" you point at her and she rolls her eyes so hard you're positive they could've gotten stuck.

"True but also why doesn't he ever come here, is he to good for our little apartment or something?" you know she's wine drunk but her words still make you freeze. You hadn't considered going to Rafe's all the time hadn't benefited your end of the bargain for a while. Your neighbors, friends, peers, were all supposed to see that tall glass of water come in and out of your own apartment too.

"No, we're just used to me going there" you defend and she shakes her head like this says something about your relationship that you don't know or understand. Before you can ask her what she's thinking your phone rings and your sliding it out of your pocket.

"Hey Rafe, I'm leaving now" you answer and Mila perks up on the couch, eyes landng straight on you.

"Is that Rafe, tell him he sucks!" she says just loud enough that you know Rafe had heard.

"Baby, can you ask Mila why I suck?" he asks and you sigh as you turn and face your drunk friend who should be bothering some other boy tonight.

"He wants to know why he sucks" you tell her and she grins deviously before propping herself on her knees and leaning over the back of the couch.

"He sucks because he expects his girlfriend to be at his beck and call to every need, always making her go over there to satisfy him when he can come over here and tap that fine ass in her own space too" the deep blush that covers your cheeks from your best friends drunken rant is close to a firetruck as Rafe chuckles darkly on the other end of the phone.

"So Mila wants me to come satisfy your needs in your own space for once huh?" you hate that his words send nervous tingles through your body.

"She's had a little bit of wine, mixed in with some shots some customers bought for her" you tell him and he laughs loudly.

"Stay home, I'll be there in a little bit. She's right, this isn't just about me" and you nervously gulp while nodding even though he can't see you.

"Alright, I'll be here" you muster out and he mutters a goodbye that has you ending the call and shoving your phone back in your pocket. The second you look up you're shooting a glare at your bestfriend who's devious plan has just worked.

"He's coming here, you happy?" you ask as you walk into the living room, flopping onto the couch next to her and she grins, sipping at the wine.

"I guess I better open another bottle" she tells you and you shake your head as she stands to find another glass which you'll happily take to calm the nerves you have about Rafe being in your own space. It's only after one glass he finally makes an appearance with a soft knock on the door. Mila yells for him to come in as you prepare to entertain the boy for God knows how long. Yet when he opens the door and saunters in you find your mouth gaping. The Rafe you knew was always dressed to the nines, his leisure wear was still some sort of collared shirt and slacks, but the Rafe that just walked through your door is not. The thin fabric of his black t-shirt is stretched tightly over the expanse of his chest and the grey sweatpants he wears hang low on his hips, you catch his grin as he slips off the white converse on his feet that he had left untied, leaving him in only some socks.

"Damn" Mila says outloud and that has you blushing bright red once again. Rafe chuckles at your friend before walking over to you.

"Hi" you grin at him as calmly as you can and he smiles, slipping in the spot beside you on the couch.

"Hi" he says back to you, leaning forward where you catch the glint of the silver chain on his neck. His lips brush softly against your own and you try to remind yourself that none of this is real.

"Damn I need to get laid" Mila mutters beside you and this has you giggling against Rafe's lips before he pulls away. You watch as he nods at the glass in Mila's hand.

"You going to share?" he asks and she smiles at him, a sign she likes how comfortable he already is being here. As she had prepared for this she leans to the coffee table, pouring some wine into the empty glass she had set aside for him.

"Have at it" she tells him as she slips the wine glass into his hand and he smiles before taking a sip and wrapping his arm around you on the couch.

"So what're we doing? Movie night or something?" he asks and Mila smirks as she grabs the remote, happy to be third wheeling and get a front row seat to this relationship you've been experiencing.

"Exactly that, welcome to our apartment" she tells him before clicking a few buttons. You're not sure what kind of evil she is on tonight when she clicks The Notebook knowing this movie wrecks you absolutely every time. Rafe snuggles closer into your side as the movie starts and you accept your defeat, already knowing it's going to be a long night.

When the movie ends you have tears running down your face. Tears that make Rafe realize how empathetic you are to the characters on the screen. The notion makes him want to curl up and comfort you all night. When the screen finally goes black and the credits run down the screen Mila makes her great escape, leaving the two now empty bottles of wine that she mostly completed herself, sit on the table. "Well that’s it for me. Have fun you two, I expect another hickey like last time"

"What?" you splutter out, curious as to what hickey she had meant. You had a mark on your neck after the night at the hotel but you just chalked it up to drunken injury.

"Goodnight" Rafe tells her as she disappears down the hall and into her room and that is when you realize she was expecting Rafe to spend the night.

"I guess she thinks you’re staying the night" you whsiper into the quiet of the room and Rafe chuckles dryly.

"And giving you a hickey" he laughs and his smile makes a smile of your own break out across your face.

"If you're comfortable I dont mind" you tell him and Rafe raises his eyebrows at this.

"Comfortable with staying or giving you a hickey?" you blush at his words which only causes him to laugh even more. "Come on you, I can handle a sleepover. I'll jump on your bed if we need to make things convincing"

"You're insane" you tell him and he only smiles as he stands and reaches a hand out to help you from the couch. When he doesn't start walking you give him a confused look and before you can react he’s bending down and wrapping his arms behind your legs. Panic shoots through you at the idea of him not being able to lift you, your weight dragging him down, but what you dont expect is how easily he props you on his shoulder and starts down the hallway.

"Rafe, oh my God" you sqeual unbeknownst to Mila who has poked her head out of the room to see you two. She’s surprised you’ve allowed Rafe to carry you but happy you’re beginning to learn that a man can love you for exactly who you are.

Rafe finds your bedroom easily, carrying you in and dropping you in a heap on top of the bed. You can’t help the grin that’s on your face from how he had carried you with ease. Yes you were big but he was strong. Had you been looking at this size difference all wrong? Rafe jumps beside you, fingers tickling your sides that has you squealing into the late night air. It had to be almost 3am by now but you didn’t even care. Rafe had become one of your best friends and you never would’ve thought some aggravated deal would’ve gotten you into this situation.

“I like your room” he says once he stops, you both trying to catch your breath. You don’t miss the way he hovers above you, the chain now loose from the collar of his shirt. He finds himself holding a breath when your finger curls around it, giving it a light tug.

“Thank you, if I had known you were coming sooner I would’ve cleaned up a bit” you tell him, mindlessly playing with the chain.

“I don’t mind” he tells you and you smile, letting the chain go and moving to sit up.

“I’m gonna wash my face, you need anything?” you ask and he shakes his head, moving to the side to allow you to leave. As you wash your face he pulls back your covers, slips off his shirt, and crawls inside. When you’re back in the room you find yourself laughing at the way he lays leisurely in your bed, entirely at home with both arms propped behind him. “You comfy?”

“Never better” he grins and you shake your head before shutting your door and turning off the light. The lamp on your bedside table is the only illumination back to the bed where the most good looking guy you’ve ever seen lays topless in. You smile shyly at him as you crawl in beside him, lifting the covers over yourself, and realizing this is the first time you’ve spent the night with him sober.

“Goodnight” you tell him softly before reaching for your lamp. In just one click you two are enveloped by darkness. You can barely see him but you can feel the warmth that comes from the usually cold side of your bed.

“Goodnight sweetheart” he returns in the darkness and you try your best to pretend he’s not there and just fall asleep. It’s proven to be useless because you’re hyper aware that the most good looking man you know is trying to sleep beside you.

“Rafe?” you plead out and you feel the bed shift as he rolls on his side to face you.

“Yeah baby?” he asks and you sigh, nerves licking up your spine. So you do the only thing you do best, ramble.

“I know Mila was just teasing but if she doesn’t see evidence we did anything she’ll feel bad for intervening but then I feel like if she does see evidence she’ll have something more to tease us about. It’s silly I just don’t know how to do this whole fake dating thing, hell I’m barely good at real dating, and I’m pretty sure I’ve never had a real hick-“ you’re cut off by his finger pressing against your lips in the dark.

“You don’t shut up sometimes” he teases and you blush, which for once he can’t see. “Do you want to give me a hickey?”

“W-what?” you stutter out and he chuckles which makes your whole body warm over.

“Fair trade, since she thinks you had a hickey last weekend” he says and you heart triples in speed.

“I don’t really know how” you say and he tenses beside you, something you take as surprise but really he finds himself extremely turned on by your inexperience.

“I can show you” this is the last thing you expect him to say so you take a moment to let it soak in before answering.

“Okay” you say and the bed shifts again as Rafe sits up, rolling over to face you a bit better. You can barely makeout his form but still can tell how handsome he is.

“It’s easier then you think, just relax” and you almost laugh because how can he expect you to relax when he’s about to kiss your neck. He places a hand on your waist and your stomach jumps at the feeling. He leans some of his weight on you until his hot breath is fanning across your skin. “Ready?”

You nod feverishly, just wanting him to get it over with. He starts small, just a few pecks up the expanse of your neck and you try to keep your breathing regular. Then finally where you neck meets your shoulder he wraps his lips around the expanse of skin, tongue lapping smoothly over it, while he sucks. A small squeak leaves your throat as he continues. The minute he finds the sweet spot you have to surpress a moan but based on the way you’re breathing he can already tell you’re enjoying it.

As if you’re no longer in control of your body your hand meets the back of his head, fingers tangling into his hair and gripping slightly. What you don’t expect is the hum of delight Rafe sends into your neck from the action. He works you over as best he can, fighting the urge to kiss you literally anywhere else. When he finally gets the small moan he was searching for the hand that’s on your waist meets your waist band. The shorts you wear are pulled above your belly button and you know the further his hand goes down the more fat he’ll find. Yet you hate the anticipation you have mixed with fear. He truly could just reach down, give you the relief you need but your panic still wins. Loosening your hand from his hair he gets the memo that this is too much and as much as he’s disappointed, he’s more disappointed you don’t believe that his attraction can be real.

“That should’ve done it” he says as he releases from you and you nod even though he can’t see you.

“Is it okay if I don’t try, not quite yet?” you ask nervously and Rafe’s shoulders drop in disappointment which you can barely see.

“Yeah, it’s okay. Next time” he says with a teasing tone even though he was quite excited to have your warm mouth all over his neck as well. Especially since just the few small sounds you had made turned him on more than anything.

“Goodnight for real” you say with a light laugh and he gives a tight lipped smile that you can’t see and rolls back into his spot beside you.

“Goodnight for real”

a/n: listen my plus size girlies, I know the whole lifting you up thing isn’t entirely believable. I myself fully believe Rafe/Drew could never lift me. I’ve been trying to make this fic as accurate and believable for us bigger girls as possible, but don’t we deserve the cliches sometimes! Rafe is a fictional character, I can make him able to lift the biggest of us if he wants! I stand by that <3

Taglist: @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @fishingirl12 @houseofperfecttaste @abbybarnesstuff @carma-fanficaddict @jjmaybankisbae @exhaustedbutelated @diagnosedpsychosis @daivny @drewstarkeygf @vinniehackersbaee @emsgoodthinkin @apollo3475 @https-urwife @willowalexissss @kisstaya @hcneyedsstuff @lexiereblogs @drewsuncrustables @mveggieburger @marvel4life3000 @bibliophilewednesday @humungouspatrolwolf @ijustwanttoreadlols @jaijustreads @sleepjam @dilvcv @aaronhotchswife @sunshine1218 @lavenderhazeq

Comment if you want to be added to the taglist :))

[ash5monster01]

Learning to Love Part 7

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x FemReader!PlusSize

Warnings: 18+, langauge, angst, fluff, mentions of bullying, body image issues, fat shaming, fake relationship, eventual smut, minor enemies to lovers trope.

Summary: It's not uncommon for you to be shamed for your size, it is however uncommon to be told that no one would ever date you because of it. Rafe on the other hand is used to being called a jerk, that is until he is accused of seeing people for only what's on the surface. It's purely coicidental you two meet right after these accusations are thrown your way. So even though you two don't know each other, and probably never would've looked the others way before this, now you're both going to prove a point. It's simple really, prove others wrong and don't fall in love. Easier said than done.

word count: 3.5k

Part 6 ←→ Part 8

Masterlist

When you agreed to drive Rafe to work you hadn't expected for him to drag you inside. Especially since you were still wearing your bar clothes, jeans that would reek of tequila by the end of the night, and a T-shirt that acted as a spare rag half the time. Now your fingers were interlocked with Rafe’s, in a grey suit as he marches through his building full of other suits and pencil skirts. Add on the fact everyone looks on with confusion, shocked to see someone like you walking in with their sexy as hell boss. You knew most of the women fantasized about him taking them over his desk and the image alone sent a chill down your spine. Rafe looks to you with confusion and you just offer a smile as if you weren't just picturing him having his way with you.

"Hey, long time no see" AJ beams at you two when you reach the top floor and you offer a sweet smile even though you entirely resent her for being one of those girls that could easily have Rafe on his desk if she wanted.

"AJ, I'm taking the rest of the day to spend with my girl. Make sure Matt and Levi don't start a game of strip poker again" and she nods with a salute that has you snorting in laughter over the fact that even happened once before.

"It was one time at an employee party" a man you assume is Matt calls out from a corner office and Rafe rolls his eyes as he leads you to his own office.

"Kaitlyn, hold my calls and cancel my meetings for the rest of the day. I'm taking some personal time" Rafe says to the prettiest brunette girl you've ever seen with the brightest green eyes. Kaitlyn nods and starts typing away at her computer like she was trained to obey every order. Then Rafe was guiding you through large double doors that revealed the largest office you've ever seen. You stare in awe as he shuts the doors behind you and the click of them shutting closed is enough to make you jump.

"What's wrong?" he asks, spotting how just closing the door suddenly made you nervous.

"Do you know what they think we're doing?" you whisper and he looks confused until he spots the bright pink hue flooding your cheeks.

"Oh" is all he says and you chuckle, unable to look him in the eye which he finds entirely too cute.

“And how do you know this?” he asks as he approaches his desk.

“Come on, it’s like every book cliche ever. Girl dates important guy, guy bends girl over his desk, tale as old as time” you say confidently and it’s only until his eyebrows raise towards you that the confidence deters.

“Are you admitting to me that you read dirty books?” he asks and your neck burns with embarrassment.

“I’m just saying” you pout and he laughs as he sits behind the desk and begins to type at his computer.

“There’s just one thing I have to finish up before I play hookie with you all day, that’s why I didn’t want you to wait in the car” he explains and you nod quickly as you allow him time to work.

Thing is, you’re impatient. Which Rafe notices quickly when you sit at the chair in front of his desk and won’t stop bouncing your leg. It takes you not much longer after that to stand and start observing the room. Looking at the shelves and pictures on the walls. It was only a few emails he had to send, confirm a few projects, but now he was finding it hard to pay attention with you walking around all pretty and staring at his office with awe. You study the room like you're studying him, trying to fit puzzle pieces into the mystery that Rafe Cameron is. Yet even his office, a place that should be so intimate to him, is still just as bland as his home. Lacking warmth, evidence of a life, hiding everything underneath the surface.

"You like that one?" his voice pierces through the silence and you almost jump again as you look away from the abstract painting on the wall. To someone else it seems like it's just various colors, swirled around and claimed as art, but you see it. The curve of a larger girls shilouette, the hip dips and heavy stomach and breasts. She's there but hidden within a sea of beautiful colors. It deep, beautiful, and entirely too intimate. "It's new"

"It's beautiful" you try not to tear up, because surely Rafe Cameron is like the rest of the world. Blind to something so beautiful hidden within. It was probably bought for its colors and the beautiful swirls that fill the canvas and not for the shape of a woman hidden inside who just wants to be seen for more than what's on the surface.

"It made me think of you" your breath hitches almost instantly, trying not to take his words with as much meaning as the painting had put over you.

"Not much of a picture guy then, huh?" you want to act entirely normal about what he just said but how can you. He had dropped a bomb and you weren't sure how to diffuse it. It all depended on what Rafe saw when he looked at that picture. If he saw the colors or you.

"Don't really have people worth taking pictures with" Rafe says, a small scowl on his face. You know it isn't entirely true but for Rafe all the pictures from his past held reminders. Reminders of ruined families and friendships all for something obselite now.

"Well that's to bad Cameron because I'm gonna take a picture of us and frame it for this exact office, put it right next to that computer of yours so you see it all day long" You tease and Rafe chuckles lightly, looking much happier now.

"That's probably not a good idea, I'd be looking at you more than doing my work" the compliment bubbles in your stomach, settling and warming you over, but you move past it like you always do.

"To bad, we're taking one" you say and he laughs before gesturing you over which makes you furrow your eyebrows.

"You want to take it now?" you ask and he nods, patting his lap like it's the most natural thing in the world for you to come over and sit on him.

"Yeah, have a picture of us in my office in my office" he says and you snort lightly, walking towards him while trying to ignore your nerves.

"How breaking the fourth wall of us" you say as his hand lands on your waist and guides you to sit on him. You try your best to keep your weight off of him as much as possible but he pulls you to him before you can even try. You land on his lap as his arms snake around your waist and chin lands on your shoulder.

"Okay baby, take the picture while I still look good" he teases and you roll your eyes as you grab your phone and open the camera app.

"You always look good Rafe" you say and your ears burn red instantly. Rafe grins and presses a kiss to your shoulder, not saying more to make sure he doesn't embarass you further. Even if he likes it when you get all flustered. "All right, smile"

An easy smile crosses Rafe's face as you hold the phone up and try to take a picture of you two. Yet when your thumb meets the button he's kissing your cheek, breath fanning over your neck. You giggle instantly hand clicking more than just one picture, the two of you laughing with each other. It feels all to real and you hate how much you've come to like the boy underneath you. Saying goodbye will be all that much harder the more you keep getting close like this.

“You have to be smiling normal for at least one" you tell him with a pout and he smiles at you before nodding.

"Okay baby, one more" he tells you and this time he obeys, easy smile on his face as he squeezes you close, foreheads leaned against each other. For a moment you look like a real couple, two people just happy to be together. It warms you over as you drop the phone and go to look at the few pictures you had managed to get. Rafe watches over your shoulder, holding you close and not letting you go.

"You ruined almost every one" you say and he shakes his head, looking at that beaming smile on your face as his kisses you and not the fake one you normally wore.

"No I didn't, they're perfect. I want that one" he says pointing at it and you roll your eyes, trying to avoid the saying that lays on the tip of your tongue anytime you look at a picture of yourself. I look fat you want to say, eyes catching the slight double chin from your beaming laugh. You're unposed, unaware of the way your body looks so big compared to his.

"I look... I don't look good" you try to convey, avoid looking at him and you feel him sigh against you.

"You always look good, especially in that picture" he tells you, hands squeezing your waist. It should be a sentimental moment but his hands make you jump and Rafe realizes fairly quickly that he has just tickled you. Even though there is other parts of him affected by you bouncing on his lap he can't help but grin and start digging his fingers into you. You squeal instantly, toppling against him and trying to lean away but Rafe holds you close, laughing as you cry out for him to stop. Your both to caught up in eachother you miss the knock and open of the door to his office.

"Sorry to interupt Mr. Cameron" you both freeze, hazy smiles left on your faces as you see Kaitlyn in the doorway.

"What's up Kait?" he asks, a small huff to his breath from how he was just tickling you. You should feel weird to be sitting on his lap as his employees speak to him but you’re still trying to get your heart rate back to a normal pace.

"I just wanted to let you know I've cleared your schedule and sent over those files from yesterday that you needed reviewed. I can do the next pile if you need" she says, a small pink hue to her cheeks for having caught the two of you giggling like lovesick teenagers.

"That would be great Kaitlyn, me and my girl we're just heading out here. The stack is where it always is and you have a good rest of the day" you blush deeply when Rafe pats your bottom, indicating you stand up so the two of you can leave. You watch as he readies himself and then locks his arm around your waist to guide you out the door. You give Kaitlyn a small wave as he walks you back through the office, head high, and proud that you're the girl he has his arm wrapped around.

When you reach his apartment you make yourself comfy. You had planned to work all day, distract yourself from feelings for Rafe but look how far that had gotten you. So you sit on his couch, clicking through Netflix in search of a good movie, something to get his mind off of things. You’re still not entirely sure of what kind of movies he likes so it’s proven to be pointless, mindless clicking, until he returns to the living room in leisure wear and falling next to you on the couch.

“What do you want to watch?” you ask as his head lays on your lap, looking up to face you. You’re certain you’re unflattering from this angle but caring about things like that had been proven pointless with Rafe.

“I’m good with anything, I don’t really watch movies” you’re shocked to hear this, considering when most girls were out on dates you were at home watching the latest film and enjoying every second.

“So you’re telling me you haven’t watched the classics?” you ask and he shrugs against you.

“I’ve seen the Godfather once and that was about it” you shake your head at him, saddened to hear your fake boyfriend hasn’t watched at least the required films of any human beings on this earth. So you set off on a hunt, trying to find the perfect film, going through almost every streaming service, until you find the one.

“Here we go” you mutter to no one in particular as you hit play and Rafe furrow his eyebrows as he looks at the screen.

“Dirty Dancing” he pouts and you can see the crease in his brow from where he lays on you.

“Oh don’t be a boy about it, watch it like a man” you tell him and he chuckles before rolling to his side and getting cozy on your lap. From where you sit you can’t see Rafe’s reaction and as much as he’s enjoying the movie he’s enjoying you whispering the lines behind him, knowing what song was next, and most of all the way your legs shifted underneath him when the characters truly dirty danced. His hand had come to caress your leg as the movie progressed, unable to stop himself and you took that as an invitation to run your hands through his hair.

Finally it had reached the scene where Baby goes to Johnny’s cabin and admits her feelings, Rafe knows this is an important part by the way your hand freezes against his head. The music starts as Baby and Johnny start undressing each other, your breathing has become uneven, and based on the glance Rafe dared to take you look wrecked for a girl who has had nothing happen to her. He waits patiently as the two characters begin to get intimate and once the scene is over he takes a chance and hits pause.

“Hey” you mutter softly, voice hoarse and eyes still semi glued to the screen. Rafe rolls onto his back, looking up at you as your hand that was in his hair falls to his chest.

“Can I ask you a deeply personal question and you answer me honestly without freezing up?” his sentence makes your heart accelerate as you look at him. You take a moment to catch your breath before answering him.

“Sure” you know you shouldn’t of said it but you’ve crossed personal lines with Rafe that you had never expected to and soon he won’t be a part of your life anymore, no harm in being vulnerable if it’s guaranteed you never have to see him again.

“Have you, ever done stuff?” you’re confused by the question until it suddenly dawns on you what he’s asking. Your silence instantly makes him feel guilty. “It’s just the whole thing with the hickey and no intimacy rule. Then the way you’re reacting to that scene, it’s just. I don’t know”

“I’ve never” you whisper, unable to look into his eyes. Regret swirls in a pit in your stomach. “I want to. I want to trust someone so deeply that I can but how can I? Everywhere I go people look at me like something wretched and if they’re daring enough they’ll say things loud enough for me to hear. I’ve been told how repulsive I am for years because of my size, seen it movies, watched it in real life. It would break me beyond repair if I undressed in front of someone like y- someone and they decided they didn’t want me”

“Hey, you are not repulsive. You are so beautiful, every piece of you” Rafe tells you and you shake your head, looking away to hide the tears that rim your eyes.

“I wish I could believe that” you whisper, not even for him to hear because the worst thing about compliments was the fact you could never actually believe them.

“Hey, look at me” Rafe says as he sits up, pulling you to face him. You accept defeat as you turn and lock your eyes onto his own. “You are perfect the way you are. I would never lie to you about that and any guy would be stupid to walk away from a beautiful woman that is naked for him”

“I just panic Rafe, as much as I try to fight it and push it away. I can’t” you mutter, lip trembling and a tear falling loose. Rafe feels bad for bringing it up but he reaches to brush the tear away anyway. He wishes he could find the right thing to say, to convince you that you were just as good if not better than anyone else. To tell you how much he is attracted to you. Yet he can’t do it. You’d never believe him and in the end this is all fake. You’re going to leave him just like everyone else and he isn’t prepared to lose you by messing this all up.

“It’ll get easier, one day you’ll meet someone you trust more than anything and you won’t even remember ever feeling like this” Rafe says it because he knows it’s true. He was convinced he’d never really love someone, trust them entirely, that is until he met you.

You take a moment to respond to him. He has no idea he has just broken your heart in two. Meet someone, not him, which means he didn’t want anything to do with you. This whole time you had been catching feelings for a boy you made a rule with not to. Maybe when you made the rule you’d hoped he’d be the one to break it but of course it was you. He was just another boy to add to the long list of crushes who would never ever be attracted to you. So you decide you’re no longer going to be weak in front of Rafe Cameron. What’s the point if he just proves he could never love you?

“In order to meet someone Rafe this will have to end” you don’t want to say it. There’s really no point. You know you won’t meet someone and ending this will only sadden you more for having to let him go. Rafe stiffens beside you and you feel guilty almost instantly.

“I know” he says quietly and you swear you almost hear the heartbreak in his voice but that can’t be true. Rafe will have proven his point, he can go back to girls like AJ, and live a life without being bullied for only liking supermodel women. You will go back to failed relationships and being unable to trust your partner.

“Listen it doesn’t have to be now-” but the shaking of Rafe’s head has you swallowing your words. Is he about to end it right now? Had you said too much?

“It can be, look our worlds don’t intermingle often. So if someone at the bar flirts with you or asks you out, you’re welcome to say yes. We can keep pretending but if you find something serious we can end it” Rafe tells you and you fight the new tears that are burning at the back of your eyes. It’s kind but it means it won’t ever be him.

“I guess the same goes for you. Someone at the office or whatever” you say, your voice slightly cracking at the end and you pray he doesn’t notice.

“I guess this had to end at some point” Rafe shrugs and you wish he was just as sad as you. You had gotten close and pretty soon he would become just a stranger again. You didn’t want him to be. He had become so much more.

“True but we still have some time” you say to which he nods, knowing it wasn’t over just yet. For some reason it felt like it though. He just had no idea how he could make you believe that he loved you.

“Exactly which if you’re free Saturday night I have another work event. Rooftop with a pool and open bar” Rafe suggests and you giggle lightly, relishing in the fact that the same boy who had upset you was the only one who could cheer you up too.

“Well how can I say no to that?” you say as a smile cracks across Rafe’s face before he lays back down and into your lap.

“Hey, what do you say we finish this movie then order some pizza?” he says and you nod, heart heavy with the goodbye bound to come but full of love for the boy in front of you.

“Sounds perfect”

a/n: I’m not sure when the next update will be out considering the Holidays but for now please enjoy. I rewrote this chapter about three times and they’re all entirely different versions but I feel like I like this one best. I want this story to take the best course that is possible. Thank you to everyone who has read and enjoyed so far. I wanted to put this out before tomorrow because tomorrow is my birthday and I’ll be far too busy to be writing! We’re about halfway through folks!

Taglist: @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @fishingirl12 @houseofperfecttaste @abbybarnesstuff @carma-fanficaddict @jjmaybankisbae @exhaustedbutelated @diagnosedpsychosis @daivny @drewstarkeygf @vinniehackersbaee @emsgoodthinkin @apollo3475 @https-urwife @willowalexissss @kisstaya @hcneyedsstuff @lexiereblogs @drewsuncrustables @mveggieburger @marvel4life3000 @bibliophilewednesday @humungouspatrolwolf @ijustwanttoreadlols @jaijustreads @sleepjam @dilvcv @aaronhotchswife @sunshine1218 @lavenderhazeq @theultimatefrenchfangirl @kravitzwhore @chalahyung01

Comment if you want to be added to the taglist :))

[ash5monster01]

Learning to Love Part 1

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x FemReader!PlusSize

Warnings: 18+, langauge, angst, fluff, mentions of bullying, body image issues, fat shaming, fake relationship, eventual smut, minor enemies to lovers trope.

Summary: It's not uncommon for you to be shamed for your size, it is however uncommon to be told that no one would ever date you because of it. Rafe on the other hand is used to being called a jerk, that is until he is accused of seeing people for only what's on the surface. It's purely coicidental you two meet right after these accusations are thrown your way. So even though you two don't know each other, and probably never would've looked the others way before this, now you're both going to prove a point. It's simple really, prove others wrong and don't fall in love. Easier said than done.

word count: 3.2k

Intro ←→ Part 2

Masterlist

It’s not until you’re opening the bar the next day you finally receive a text from your fake boyfriend. You had spent most of the night confused how this had all happened. You blamed it on how worked up you were after the beach, letting yourself get carried away. You couldn’t back out now, you had signed a contract. Hell it might be on a napkin but it was right there, evidence that you had made an agreement with a perfect stranger and now had no way out. A part of you wanted to do this too. Prove something to others you still weren’t sure of yourself. You just prayed you wouldn’t get too attached.

unknown number

You wanted to keep that same confidence you had yesterday. A coolness that you had maintained while getting into a fake relationship. Thing was your heart was already starting to thump over him texting you. You weren’t strong enough for this, you knew you would fold in seconds. Your only priority now was making sure he didn't know that about you. That was why you had limited PDA because you knew one touch from him would be your weakness. You weren't blind, he was gorgeous. He had every right to be cocky and you had no right to be. You save his number anyway despite desperately wanting to block it and pretend none of this happened.

Rafe

You were screwed. Totally and utterly screwed. You had googled him, you weren't no fool. All it did was intimidate you even more. CEO of one of the largest companies in the area, articles about his dead Dad and all the trouble he had gotten into when he was younger. He was tough, cold, and you were anything but. Now you had to act like you loved him. Someone who had become cold towards the world and you who still was on somewhat good terms with it had to learn to love him. Well fake love him.

"What's with the look?" your friend Mila asks. You look to her from across the bar where she dumps ice to prepare for the long shift ahead of you both. Mila was one of the few people in this world you had known all your life and had always stuck by your side. She was the only oen to ever really tell people off when they were mean to you. Which was half the reason you always kept her around. Even now as roomates and your employee. She would always take care of you and you would always take care of her.

"A boy" you find yourself saying. She is the last person on earth you would want to admit this mistake to but you realize you can also get her advice without having to tell the full truth.

"A boy, do I know this boy?" it's the soft shake of your head that has her abandoning the ice buckets and walking over to face you. You never talked about boys so whatever this was deseved her undivided attention.

"No, I met him here yesterday" you don't miss the way her hands fall on her hips instantly, a stern look coming your way.

"Want to explain why you were here on your day off?" Mila didn't like how you overworked yourself. You were the owner, she was the manager, you didn't have to do any of the work that you did around here. So when she catches you putting in time when you deserve a much needed break she's the first one ready to fight you.

"I came for a drink, I promise I didn't step behind the bar once" you say raising your hands in defense. She studies you for a moment to make sure you're telling the truth before removing her hands from her hips and leaning forward.

"So you met a boy while getting a drink yesterday?" she questions and you nod. She pushes her curly brunette hair back from her face and grabs the hair tie on her wrist and secures it all behind her head while awaiting your answer.

"Yes and he gave me his number" as her arms drop back down to her sides her dough eyes widen in surprise. She knew you deserved the world but she also knew how people treated you. She knows because they're the same people she had been shoving on the playground as kids and flipping off in public as adults.

"Have you texted him?" she asks, trying to not act to excited on your behalf. She knows you want to be cool and collected about this. To not get your hopes up because you're prepared for the worst. You always are.

"He actually just texted me" she nods, waiting for you to give more about how you are feeling so she can determine whether to be excited or worried for you. "He is extremely intimidating"

"Are you gonna go on a date with him?" she asks as she pushes up the sleeves of her shirt, dark amber skin on display. It reminds you of how you always wanted to be her growing up. Perfect body, perfect face, the prettiest smile. Boys always turned their heads when they saw her and when they saw you they would turn back away. Mila was a beautiful light skinned Goddess and you were just you. Plain jane.

"I might, I just don't want to get attached" she didn't have to ask to know this and you both don't miss the way your phone dings again.

Rafe

The text has your heat doubling in speed. Mila watches you with concentration, Randy now joining you btoh behind to bar to finish the job Mila had started. She waits patiently like always, waiting to see if you'll tell her what he just said. She really wants to rip the phone from your hand and read for herself but she knows you better than anyone. This needs to be just for you right now and as long as she knows you won't get hurt she is okay with it.

"He wants to have dinner" you speak after a beat and before she can say anything Randy butts in while polishing the crytal glasses at the other end of the bar.

"Pretty boy from yesterday?" Randy's comment has Mila raising her eyebrows and looking back at you.

"You never said he was a pretty boy" you don't have to answer before Randy does.

"Yeah the dude was hot. I'm straight but if he asked me out I would say yes in an instant" this has Mila turning towards you with a questioning look. You know she has hundreds of things running through her head that she wants to say but she is nearly bursting with excitment and you don't want to hold out on her.

"This is not in a mean way but was he genuine? Not like the guys I have to kick the shit out of?" she asks above everything else and again you are cut off by Randy.

"Based on the way he was devouring her with his eyes I'd say he was genuine. When she leaned over the bar I thought he was going to take a bite out of her ass" Randy says which causes Mila to snort and you to glare at him.

"I can answer these questions myself Randy and need I remind you who can change the status of your employment in a second?" you tell him, arms crossing over you chest and he chuckles as he set's the last of the clean glasses down on the bar top.

"I'm just saying, about time someone noticed how cool you are" you roll your eyes even though your heart soars over how genuine he is. You could never fire Randy, he was one of your best bartenders and over the years a close friend.

"Well are you gonna go?" Mila interrupts and you look at her confused before you realize what she is asking. It's then your phone dings with a new message again.

Rafe

Sighing you look up at two of your closest and dearest friends before droppign back down to the message on your phone. They don't know it isn't genuine, that both you and pretty boy are aware of how fake this relationship is, and is only meant for personal gain but you don't want to disappoint them. So you force a smile on your face and look to them both hoping they can't read the lies all over it. "I guess I’m going to dinner"

"Yes!' the pair cheers before chest bumping each other and you roll your eyes before typing a response back to Rafe.

Rafe

Shaking your head you realize exactly what kind of trouble you're in. You no longer have to lie to yourself about your feelings towards the boys now you had to lie to everyone else that's important in your life. You just prayed in wouldn’t blow up in your face.

You were still praying when the clock hit seven o’clock on the dot. There was no hiding the fact you had just worked a whole shift so you stopped yourself from any attempts at looking presentable. You didn’t have much time anyway since Rafe walked through the door right on time. When Mila realized that he was the boy her jaw dropped, which had you blushing a deep red. You tried to get your face back to normal before Rafe stood in front of you, a grey suit draped across his form, looking handsome as ever. Even with his hair falling onto his forehead he was still just as gorgeous.

“You promised nothing fancy” you tell him before he can say anything and he grins, hand reaching for your own.

“I just left work doll, I’ll change into a trash bag if you need me too” sighing you place your hand in his anyway and allow him to guide you out from behind the bar.

“Text me if you need anything guys” you call out to Mila and Randy who have more drink orders than they can keep up with.

“Text us if you need anything” Mila said in a suggestive way and you shook your head while throwing your purse over the shoulder of your free arm. You tried to act like his hand locked in your own didn’t make you as nervous as it did. This was fake, all show. You could do this.

You’re met with one of the nicest trucks you’ve ever seen still running outside. He opens the door and helps you climb inside before jogging to the other side. The smile he sends your way is a knees weak type of smile. You just know how many girls probably melted for that and a part of you feels bad for him. That he never could actually love someone the way he wanted because of material things. You knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of that. That’s why you were doing this, for both you and him.

“I figured we could eat at my place, take that for nothing fancy” he says as he pulls out onto the road.

“Is this the part where I find out you’re an axe murderer and fake dating is how you lure people in?” you question, heart racing over the idea of already being alone in his apartment with him. You don’t miss the way his hands tighten on the steering wheel but he still sends a smile your way.

“Not an axe murderer. I just want to get to know you, get our story straight” and you nod as he finally reaches a condo building. You wish you had known how rich he was before agreeing to fake date him. Yeah you owned a bar but that didn’t mean you were racking in big bucks. You still had a roommate after all. “Plus I’m a good cook”

“Poison, I knew it” you tease and he genuinely laughs before shaking his head and getting out the truck. You don’t miss the annoyed look he gives you when you pop open your door before he can. He helps you down anyway before guiding you inside.

You’re practically on the top floor by the time you get there. When he opens the door to his apartment it looks as if you could fit three of your own in it. You try to not let this intimidate you, the space still practically open. You can spot his bed in the corner and you quickly push away the thoughts of him sleeping in it every night. The kinds of girls he might bring back to it. Girls who would never ever look like you. You an exception just to prove a point because the truth was Rafe Cameron would never date a girl like you for real.

“I’m gonna change, feel free to make yourself at home” he tears your attention away from the bed and you nod as he starts walking towards his room. You realize this open concept leaves you both vulnerable to eachother so you choose the living room chair that has its back towards his bedroom. Distracting yourself you pull your phone out just to see a text from Mila.

Mila 💜

You can’t help but laugh lightly at the message on your phone which is when Rafe returns to the room now clad in grey sweats and white T-shirt that strained across his pecs perfectly. You hated him. He knew exactly what he was doing putting that outfit on. “Something funny?”

“Just my friend Mila, when I told her I was going out with you I guess she didn’t really expect you” he snorts as he sits on the couch kiddie corner to your own seat. You don’t miss the way he spreads his legs apart and gets comfy as if he hasn’t sat all day.

“I assume that was the girl behind the bar?” he says and you nod, shoving your phone back into your pocket. “So we’re not telling anyone then?”

“I guess not, I was too embarrassed to tell my friends it wasn’t real” you tell him and he nods before sitting up.

“It’s better that way anyway, less chance of getting caught” he says and you agree. If anyone found out you’d be mortified and you’re sure Rafe would be too.

“I told them we met at the bar, so if you tell your friends we should probably stick to that story” you tell him and he nods, hating that this felt awkward.

“That bar, you have a waitress. Red head, green eyes” and you hate the way your heart thumps in your chest. You had liked so many boys your whole life and every time you had been looked over for someone else, one of your friends. You hated that it was happening now with your own fake boyfriend.

“Callie, yeah. She’s a sweetheart” you nod as normal as you can but you couldn’t even hold a candle to that girls beauty. She’s 20, skinny, beautiful.

“Can you apologize to her for me? My friends were assholes the other day and I know she over heard them. I’ve felt guilty about it since” Callie had told you about this today. Two assholes saying she was unattractive. You remembered thinking if they found her unattractive imagine what they thought of you. Now knowing Rafe was at that table you felt even more nervous about this agreement between you two.

“Yeah, I’ll tell her” you agree with a forced smile and he nods before standing up.

“Well, let’s get cooking” he says with a clap of his hands and you give him a confused look.

“I agreed to dinner, not cooking it” you tell him and he laughs as he helps you to your feet.

“You’ll like this, promise” he tells you which is how you find yourself at his kitchen island making your own pizzas. You laugh each time he attempts to throw the premade dough and you put more pepperoni than physically possible on each slice. You do it just to annoy him though which you learn is really fun. Once you’ve destroyed the kitchen you’re both laughing at each other’s stories while sharing a bottle of wine and the messy pizza you both had made.

“How’d you get into owning that bar?” Rafe finds himself asking, noting how you picked at the slice of pizza on your plate. He knew it was because you were nervous to eat in front of him. That someone had probably made fun of you for eating and now to eat in front of others needed trust.

“Fate. Sort of. When I was twenty I graduated with my associates in business and I was searching everywhere for a manager position. That was when I found the bar. It was a hot spot and the owner didn’t feel like running it anymore. He liked that I was young, a fresh face. He sold it to me for practically nothing and now it’s basically my home” you briefly tell him the story and Rafe nods, soaking in how different your story was from his own. You had grew up practically on the same island as him and you had never known him.

“So you’ve been there ever since?” and you nod, pressing the rim of the wine glass to your lips. Reveling in the fact that is was the only thing keeping you calm in this handsome man’s presence.

“Yeah, and I really love it. I meet so many new people and work with my best friends everyday. I get to sleep in too” Rafe laughs as you say this, somehow figuring it made sense that you weren’t a morning person.

“Have you ever been in love?” the question catches you off guard and Rafe doesn’t miss the way you suck in a sharp breath at the question.

“I’d like to think I have, but I’m not so sure anymore” you say and he nods, deep in thought as he sips from his own wine glass.

“Same” he tells you and just as before you realize you and Rafe are two sides of one coin. Probably doomed, to torn up from the cruel world around you. Your worlds were two different places and maybe that’s the way things should be. Doing this was stepping into enemy territory and at the end of the day maybe you weren’t proving anybody, just proving something to yourselves. Either way, you didn’t want to leave him behind now.

Taglist: @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @fishingirl12 @houseofperfecttaste @kisstaya @abbybarnesstuff @carma-fanficaddict @jjmaybankisbae @exhaustedbutelated @diagnosedpsychosis @daivny @drewstarkeygf

Comment if you want to be added to the tag list :))