#interests rather than wasting my life so i can look pretty and come off appealing and confident and NT and whatever else

[kindnessoverperfection]

There are two paths before me.

One is overgrown, full of thorns and bristles and broken branches. The other is sunny and clear.

Surely, the first will lead to nothing but risk, danger, and pain, while the second will be a blissful, joyful walk.

But there's nothing for me on that clear path. No food, no life, no person out there besides myself. I know that the overgrown path can grant me all those things and more, if only it weren't such a wretched way to go.

So I spend some time on the clear path, walking forward until I can't take the loneliness and discontent anymore, and I turn back. But when I arrive where I started, the first path is still overgrown, worse still than before. Frustrated and feeling helpless, I start down the clear path again. When I decide to take care of myself and survive instead of starving to death on the barren trail, I turn back again. And again, the other is overgrown and terrifying.

I go back and forth, until I fall to my knees, crying and begging for someone, anyone, to help me. To remove the thorns and bristles and branches.

And then I realize, this entire time, I've been running from the pain. I've been waiting for the trail to clear up on its own, to grant me safe and easy passage.

It wasn't my fault I was never taught wilderness survival - I don't know how to make it through such an area, bandage the scrapes and wear functional gear and step over the branches. But I can learn, even if I'll experience some hurt along the way.

[astaroth1357]

More undateables with a demigod hades mc???

By request, have yourself a part two!! 

Demigod MC Series: Hades Pt. 2 (Un)Dateables Edition!

I will ask that y’all please don't ask for continuations of other gods unless I say it’s okay to do again. This series already fills my inbox something fierce and this is a one-off that I allowed for during the request window.  If I have to make ideas for new gods while continuing a bunch of old MCs, it'll burn me out fast...

Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus, Demeter, Athena, Hades Pt. 2

Diavolo

Oh, he has no problem at all hosting a child of the Underworld, hell he even throws them a welcome banquet when he finds out! Hades is a dear friend - and practically a parental figure to him growing up - so he's more than happy to take in one of his children for a year.

Diavolo is actually one of the few people that the MC can talk to about their home with any kind of fondness. Usually when they bring up things like the comforting wailing of the River Coctyus, the brothers will give them weird looks... but Diavolo knows where they're coming from!

He spent numerous summers in the Underworld growing up doing things like pestering Charon on the River Styx or playing games with Cerberus (the other one) in the Asphodel Meadows... His beach house is actually modeled after his childhood summer home in the Isles of Paradise! Really, it can be a lovely place if the gloom doesn't bother you!

So in the spirit of his fond memories, Diavolo really tried to make their time in the Devildom a fun one!... in his maybe trying a little too hard way…  

Poor MC found themselves offered pretty much everything under the moon… Tickets or exclusive passes to different cultural events/festivals, invitations to gala events, and tours of nearly every inch of Hell by the Prince himself - it was… it was a lot for the poor introverted thing…

It didn’t help that Diavolo would have a hard time gauging if they were having any fun due to their naturally melancholic nature, which only pushed him to try harder… He means well, he does. He’s just not the most in touch with what would make an anti-social doom child happy...

It took Barbatos and Lucifer stepping in for the mortal to actually start getting some much needed space and that improved their experience significantly. Sometimes less is more, Dia… Less is more. But they appreciate his efforts anyway.

Barbatos 

Also has a pretty amicable relationship with the Ruler of the Underworld, though his is much more professional compared to Diavolo’s. He actually has a good deal of appreciation for the man for taking good care of the Prince during his visits, so he sees this as an opportunity to return the favor.

Like Diavolo, he’s rather focused on making sure the MC is having a good stay in the Devildom, but he’s much more subtle about it. He’ll come by the House often to check up on them and make sure everything is to their liking... 

Even the brothers notice that he treats them like anothering visiting Lord/Lady in that way, which he would argue they very much are and should be respected as one. It’s the least the Devildom can offer their father at this point.

His visits may also be an excuse for keeping an eye on the brothers to make sure they don’t do anything to inconvenience their “young guest…” To be honest, the entire House is a little paranoid about that… Nobody wants to know the punishment for hurting MC if Barbs is the one dishing it out...

Apart from watching out for them, Barbatos tries to encourage the MC to accept the Young Lord’s gifts (while also actively advising Diavolo to go easier on them at the same time). It would be so disheartening to him if his Prince feels like he hasn’t offered them the best experience that he could… He’s sure they understand.

Any time that he invites the MC to tea, they usually end up talking about their father in some way. Barbs knows a surprising amount about the god… He’s been around about as long as Chronos - preceding the birth of Aether and Chaos themselves - so he has some stories to tell.

The MC did once ask him why he doesn’t just run everything if he’s really been around for so long... his answer was: “Kings and their kingdoms will rise and fall… Worlds upon worlds are born, then cease to be. But time is what brings about all changes… So, I think I’m perfectly content with the power I possess. Wouldn’t you be?” 

Annnd they never asked Barbs another question like that again… and people think death is scary… 

Simeon 

He was honestly a little worried for their new companion for quite a while… It’s not like there’s never any sadness in the Celestial Realm or anything, but they seem to have something else entirely…

He’s heard stories about the Underworld. He’s never been himself, that’s usually a job for the Seraphim due to the… dreary nature of the place - but he’s heard it would make the Devildom look downright festive…

If he were being honest, he had half expected the MC to be obsessed with skeletons, ghosts, and other elements of darkness but that wasn’t the case. They certainly knew a lot about those things, but they appeared to have a healthy interest in the afterlife in general, so they asked him a lot of questions about the Celestial Realm, angels, and how the souls of the blessed are treated up there… It was surprising to say the least.

Of course he did the same and, frankly, Simeon found it incredibly wasteful that so many Greek followers find themselves just wasting away in a field of nothing for so long… but that’s neither here nor there.

He was also surprised by how gentle of an influence the MC ended up being on Luke as well. He had always suspected that the little angel just needed a bridge between him and Devildom to start finding appreciation for it, and the MC fit that bill perfectly - nothing he was used to, but still approachable enough to make everything less frightening. He thanks them a great deal for that… but...

It’s just that… Well they’re just so… depressing sometimes…! He doesn’t want to blame them because it hardly seems like their fault! They’re a very kind person, it’s just an atmosphere around them… It brings him to tears if he isn’t careful…

He’s invited the MC to Purgatory Hall on multiple occasions to chat and try to make them smile… When they do, the gloom is dispelled - even just a little - and they’re a truly beautiful creature regardless. It’s just so unfortunate that their life brings so much sadness...

Even so, he actually likes the MC enough to consider basing a character on them if he ever wrote another book. Something about a gloomy but sweet protagonist at home in a world of darkness sounds appealing… doesn’t it?

Luke

He didn’t know how to feel about the MC when they met. At first, he actually thought they were just as unhappy as he was to be there due to how depressed they looked but when they told him that wasn't true, he was really confused...

The Devildom is a dark, brutish, and dangerous place. Why would anyone feel at home down here??

But… well… He would spend time with them at RAD between breaks (partially to help scare off their many, many demonic suitors) and it might be weird to say, but they really made the Devildom look beautiful… literally.

The world just looks better when they’re around! It’s really hard to describe because it’s not something you notice much until they leave, but when the MC is around everything looks more vibrant and inviting! The grass gets greener, flowers grow bigger, and butterflies/birds hover around wherever they are like they have their own gravity - the realm loves them!

It started getting hard for Luke to hang onto his disdain for the place when they made it look so appealing… And then they started talking to him about the Underworld and the creatures they’d befriended there… creatures a lot worse than any demons he’d seen there...

Like. If the MC can be good friends with a bunch of rude walking corpses, then he could probably make friends with a demon right? There’s nice ones… kind of… 

Beel. He can make friends with Beel.

Like Simeon, he does feel bad that they seem so sad all the time… but unlike the older angel, he’s a bit more understanding that this is just how they are and enjoys his time with them regardless. (It helps a lot that just being around this little bean of a boy can lift their spirits anyway).

And you know what’s even better for him? When Lord Diavolo gives the MC tickets to things that they don’t want to go to, sometimes they’ll invite him along or give them to him instead! 

He’s gone to the Devil’s Coast with MC and Simeon sooo many times by now and he loves it!! Maybe the Devildom isn’t so bad after all, I mean, it can be a lot of fun when you go to the right places, anyway.

Solomon

Oh, he finds them both deeply fascinating and utterly terrifying - so just his sort of test sub-er, person!

He kids (somewhat), Solomon isn’t that dumb/lacking in self-preservation instinct. Experimenting on a child of death in a land of the dead (even if it’s not their “home turf”) would be asking for trouble. They’d have more than enough ammunition to fight him off and if their father found out? Immortality wouldn’t even begin to save him...

That being said, questions aren’t necessarily experiments… and oh boy, does he have a lot of them.

If the MC isn’t being pestered by Diavolo or the brothers, then they’re probably having to put up with Solomon nipping at their heels trying to get them to use their powers or answer all sorts of “innocent” scientific questions…

“MC, reanimation of Greek dead requires a blood offering, correct? Do you have to sacrifice animals for that process or do you allow them to feast on your own?”

“MC, when you’re controlling a skeleton do you move the body as a whole or do you have to animate each individual bone due to their lack of ligaments?”

“Think fast!! Oh look, you just caught the skull of my good friend, Richard! Could you bring him back from that, or should I fetch the rest of him?” 🙂

They put up with it because, believe it or not, he’s not nearly the weirdest person they’ve ever met (a lot of crazy people drift in and out of the land of the dead…) and well… they’re a pretty lonely person too so it’s not like they have a lot of standards when it comes to friendships anyway.

But the second they breathe a word of this to Barbs or Diavolo, this boy is on his way to a royal restraining order… Where does he even get those skulls…?

[thevindicativevordan]

Why isn't Nightwing a bigger deal? He has all of Batman's skills and Superman's faith in humanity and is arguably the most beloved hero in the DCU, but most people seem to know him either as the leader of the N̶o̶t̶ ̶J̶L̶ Teen Ttians or just Robin.

Thank you for asking me about Nightwing, I've been wanting to write a piece about him for a while now. The short version is that everyone who claims Dick becoming Nightwing was him "moving out of Batman's shadow and becoming his own man" is completely wrong.

Dick Grayson is a fantastic character, someone who saved Bruce Wayne in-universe both by forcing Batman to grow up a bit, and the countless times he saved Batman's life as his partner whether as Robin or Nightwing. Dick saved Batman in the real world as well, hard to believe but Batman was actually in danger of being cancelled due to poor sales early on. Enter Robin, a young daredevil audience stand in the creators hoped would get kids interested in reading Batman. And it worked! Sales on Batman doubled once Robin showed up which is crazy to think about, but Dick Grayson has always been a popular character. Cartoons like Teen Titans, Batman: The Animated Series, and The Batman only helped grow his audience.

Character-wise, Dick Grayson really does fill a number of crucial roles in the DCU. For Batman, Dick is proof that Batman is a positive force. Meeting Batman helped change Dick for the better, helped him heal after his parents died. With Dick, Batman can take comfort in knowing that yes, he has made a difference in the world for at least one orphan boy, which is all he wanted when he lost his parents himself. To the wider DCU, Dick is a friendly face who convinces others that Batman is competent and not a complete asshole. He took this kid in, trained him to be one of the best heroes the DCU has seen, and did it all out of the kindness of his heart. That someone like Dick can confront the evils of Gotham and not break means there's still hope for that city. As Robin, Dick has led the Titans and is an icon in his own right as The Sidekick, the original, the one every other Robin is built around copying or contrasting. The one all other superhero sidekicks are drawing on as a basis. As Robin Dick Grayson is very much on Batman's level.

Just not as Nightwing. As Nightwing, Dick has been a second rate Daredevil which means he's a third rate Batman (fully prepared to get hate for this but I've read and enjoyed the Miller and Bendis DD runs so I feel entitled to my opinion). A typical Nightwing run tends to go like this: Moving to Bludhaven (which is Gotham... but WORSE!), Dick Grayson usually enrolls in a pointless job we don't care about in order to provide some meaningless soap opera drama that doesn't go anywhere. Patrolling the city as Nightwing, he fights a variety of bad guys who are usually rather lame and unthreatening, with his big bad being a Kingpin knockoff called Blockbuster. Villains are fought, long running plotlines are set up, then everything is abandoned because it's Batfamily event time, and Dick has to run back to Gotham in order to play sidekick again. Usually his involvement is completely superfluous and it would've been better if the writer had gotten to opt out. By the time we finally get back to Nightwing's solo plotlines, the audience has usually ceased to care and the run gets cut short.

That's how Nightwing has been since the New 52 at least. Anyone who thinks that's "becoming their own man" is out of their mind. Dick is so thoroughly in Batman's shadow that he got shot in the head and spent a longer time as "Ric" which everyone fucking hated and sold like shit, than he did as Agent Grayson which was extremely well-received. Reiterating: Ric went on longer than Grayson because of a fucking Batman plotpoint Tom King wanted where Bruce was sad and cut off from the Batfamily because of Dick getting shot. Not just calling out King either, how many times was Kyle Higgins Nightwing run derailed because of Scott Snyder's crossovers? Or how about that entire run getting dumped to the side because Johns wanted to out Dick during Forever Evil, a Justice League/Lex Luthor story? DC has repeatedly made their contempt for Nightwing clear, he's Batman's sidekick still in their eyes, and he serves whatever story role the Batman writer wants.

Hell his best stories tend to have been the ones where he's not Nightwing. He was Robin in a good chunk of the Wolfman/Perez New Teen Titans run. Morrison really showcased his depth as a character when they wrote him as Batman, their time with Dick under the cowl was actually one of the first Batman runs I ever read, and no Nightwing run has ever matched it in terms of quality in my humble opinion. Scott Snyder's work with DickBats also was a high point for the character, showing Dick as competent and examining his relationship with Gotham and the Gordons. King and Seeley gave him one of the best comic runs with Grayson, a series where he wasn't even a "superhero" technically! When it comes to actual pre-New 52 Nightwing runs that are highly recommended where he *is* Nightwing, there's Chuck Dixon and uhhhhhhh... Tomasi's brief run before Dick became Batman? It's not exactly an overwhelming list.

Look there has been good work done with Nightwing, I'm not claiming there hasn't been. Tim Seeley wrote a great run with Nightwing Rebirth. Seeley fleshed out Dick's Rogues Gallery with cool new ones like Raptor, he brought back old foes like Dr. Hurt (why oh why couldn't you have brought back Flamingo too?), he gave Dick's world some character it solely needed. Bludhaven under Seeley is pretty much the only time I've really felt like it lived up to being Dick's city.

The problem with fictional cities is you have to put in the work to give them the character of real cities. You have to make the cities feel like characters in their own right. Gotham is the best example of this, it's a character all it's own, one that tells you a lot about Batman and his cast. In contrast Bludhaven is usually one of the worst. Any place that wants to claim to be worse than the city that is built over the gate to hell and gets wrecked every other month by the Arkham freaks has to really put in the work to compete. Simply put, Bludhaven typically fails utterly. There's nothing about it that makes you really buy it's worse than Gotham, I mean does anyone really think Nightwing's Rogues wouldn't get their lunches eaten by Batman's? No, no one genuinely buys that. When Bludhaven claims to be worse, it just comes across as tryhard, an attribute that does end up telling you about Nightwing in unintentional ways.

So Seeley didn't do that. Instead he created a city built for a hero like Dick Grayson. Someone who is bright and flashy, but does have an element of darkness to him. Someone who loves the spotlight, but often uses it to obscure. Seeley turned Bludhaven into Las Vegas, and that was the fucking best concept for Bludhaven I have ever seen, it makes so much sense. Las Vegas is the "Entertainment Capital of the World" and isn't that the perfect city for a hero who got their start working in the circus? Isn't the aesthetics of the gleaming casinos, the glamorous sex appeal of the performers, and the spectacle of the shows, all being used to cover up the seediness of mob bosses meeting backstage perfect for Nightwing? It's so utterly unlike New York City, yet Las Vegas is still dangerous, it's got a crime culture all it's own. Seeley used it to great effect, as did Humphries during his brief run, and I will always be pissed that DC didn't continue to use it. That should have stuck around and been the definitive look for Bludhaven.

How Seeley's take on Bludhaven was treated feels like a small scale version of how Nightwing in general gets treated. Whenever creators pitched ideas for him, if editorial thought there was potential to break big, they asked for those ideas to be repurposed for Batman instead. Anything big or good gets repurposed for Batman or tossed to the side so Nightwing can go back to his default: having irrelevant adventures in a city that is supposedly worse than Gotham but can't live up to it. Just like how Nightwing is supposedly better than Batman but never gets to show it. Goddamn it's so frustrating seeing his potential get wasted like that.

The Nightwing book should be one of DC's most ambitious books in terms of storytelling. You can go from traditional superhero stories, to romantic soap opera, to spy stories, to crime noir, to horror, to cosmic adventures, and ALL of them would fit because Nightwing is someone who has a foot in both Gotham and Metropolis. He's got friends everywhere on every team, and has been a hero longer than most Leaguers have at this point. No reason DC should still be afraid to let him loose and insisting on hewing close to what Dixon established almost over 30 years ago is only holding him back. At the very least get him some better Rogues, why the hell didn't he get to keep Professor Pyg? That's Dick's villain not Bruce's! Bullshit that they didn't let Dick keep him. Hopefully Flamingo comes back, with a slight revamp I think he'd make a great reoccurring Nightwing Rogue.

Luckily it does look somewhat like Nightwing fans have reason to be optimistic. While Taylor isn't to my taste, DC clearly views him as a "big" writer, and that they put him on Nightwing says a lot. Taylor has been selling well so far, so hopefully he gets to tell his story, hilarious that even he lampshaded having to write Dick running over to Gotham for another tie-in after Taylor's big opening arc was all about Dick committing himself and his money to Bludhaven. Scott Snyder is apparently working on a Black Label Nightwing book which will explore how he's a different detective than Bruce. The Gotham Knights video game has him as one of the main stars, and while Titans is... controversial, it's one of the most popular streaming shows and Dick is the main character. There's a lot of content coming that features him in the starring role, and that will only help his star rise further.

For the first time in, well, ever it feels like DC may be serious about elevating him. Time will tell if it pays off, but I for one choose to be optimistic that the 2020s will be a turning point for Dick Grayson where Nightwing becomes hugely popular in his own right. Not just as Batman's sidekick.

[startanewdream]

Written for @efkgirldetective's Summer of Jily Prompt #7 (Ice cream + "I don't want anybody else touching you like I do).

Tumblr exclusive at the moment because I don't have a title and the 'happy ending' part of the 'angst with a happy ending' was lost somewhere.

Rated M.

I will love to hear your thoughts about this!

_______________

I.

She is at the end of her round, going towards his cabin—her friends’ cabin, though Lily knows exactly who she is hoping to meet there—when she hears it.

‘—and Potter, what a waste. He won’t ever join him.’

‘We should just wipe him away. Blood traitor, muggle lover—’

‘You mean mudblood lover, Severus?’ Avery’s voice is tinted with malice and there are snickers around. ‘Potter and Evans seem pretty close nowadays. Do you think she gives him everything she denied you?’

‘I would never filth myself,’ comes Snape’s cold reply. ‘If he is tainting his blood, all the worse for him.’

Taint his blood. Is this what Lily’s presence does to James? Is she putting him in a danger he didn’t need to be just by being closer to him?

It’s Snape’s words and she shouldn’t listen to him—the days where she would hear him, would admire him, are long gone—but when she finally reaches the cabin (when James grins at the sight of her, bright and warm, and her heart skips a beat and Lily has to smile back), she sits away from James.

‘Anything wrong?’ he asks, familiar enough to read the tension on her face.

‘No, all normal,’ Lily says, and it’s the first lie.

______

II.

It’s summer and everyone is out of age now and apparating makes things so easy that Lily finds herself less and less at home during that break.

She tells herself it’s because she is avoiding the presence of her sister’s annoying fiance; she blames the fact that Dorcas has a beach house and it’s so much better spending days swimming and tanning; she even goes introspective to blame the pressure of the war looming over them in a way that means she needs to enjoy the last summer break before real life gets them.

But she knows the reason is James.

She finds herself gravitating towards him, unable to resist that attraction even as she knows how dangerous it is for him. Once or twice Lily thinks of telling him about it, of warning how he is stupidly raising his stakes by being near her, but she gives up only for the fact that this (might drive him away and she doesn't want it, not really) would probably just make him want to be even closer to her.

And they are already alarmingly close.

Once Lily would have been repulsed by that idea, but one year later everything has changed—James has changed—and everything about him appeals to her. The way he cares for everyone around him. The way he smiles patiently whenever he is explaining something. The way he grins as if to invite the world to share a great funny joke with him. How he runs his hand through his hair when he’s nervous. How he is so expansive that he seems to occupy any room he is in. How he loves flying, even more than Quidditch, and how relaxed he seems when he is on a broom. How he talks to her, taking it seriously when she needs to and making a joke when things get too serious. How he opens up about his own life and doubts and listens to her.

That would make them friends, really good friends, but then Lily’s heart would not stop racing when he’d touched her hand, or when their knees would bump while sitting closely in the library and then she was forced to note all the physical aspects—the muscles of his arms, the shape of full lips, the line of his jaw, the hazel kaleidoscope of his eyes and how fit he was—and give up any belief her feelings were limited to a friendship.

She fancies him, okay.

Except it’s not okay, because it’s dangerous and by now Lily is positive that James knows it too. Everyone knows it.

They end up together, just the two of them, a lot during that summer. It takes Lily a few days to realize it’s not a coincidence that her interests never align with those of her friends—if she wants to swim, somehow it’s only her and James in the sea; at night, even though it’s still so warm, they are the only ones who venture into the pool for a midnight swim, while the others stay stubbornly indoors.

When Lily suggests going to town to grab an ice cream, somehow James is the only one who is in the mood for it, despite the heat.

It’s not on purpose from his part—at least that’s how Lily sees it—but he isn’t refusing her company either and neither is she refusing his, so James’ boldness flourishes that summer. It’s not cocky as it once would be, it’s just a quiet acceptance that something is finally happening between them as if he never stopped believing it would be possible. Lily feels it when he throws his arm around her shoulders when they are sitting close, almost absently, almost not noticing when Lily lays her head over his shoulder; it’s there when he openly gawks the first time he sees her in a swimming suit, only to be nudged in the ribs by Sirius and then complimenting her ('good thing you wear robes at school, Evans, or there wouldn’t be much schoolwork done'). It’s definitely there when he intertwines their hands, pulling her to the sea with him.

And it’s there when they are sitting closer than they would need for a bench so wide, watching seagulls flying over the sea, each one holding an ice cream.

‘Chocolate chips with chocolate cover and chocolate sprinkles,’ James teases. ‘I think you have an addiction, Lily.’

‘Guilty,’ she replies, not ashamed at all, proving her ice cream and very aware of how James is staring at her. ‘It’s better than asking for vanilla ice cream.’

‘Hey!’ He would look deeply offended if not for the grin on his lips. ‘I’ll let you know vanilla is the best flavour.’

‘Never took you for a vanilla guy, James.’

‘What would take me for? The adventurous gorgeous type?’

Lily laughs, but she doesn’t answer. She doesn’t want to lie to him and deny it.

‘Attractive mysterious type, then?’ he insists. ‘Handsome scoundrel?’

‘I notice your beauty is enhanced a lot.’

‘My beauty? So you admit that I’m beautiful, Evans?’

‘Do I need to? You seem to already know it.’

‘I enjoy hearing you saying all the same,’ he says, and though James shrugs easily she can sense the shift in his eyes, the nervous glint there. ‘That means we would make a beautiful couple.’

‘We would,’ she whispers, still not wanting to lie.

She turns back her attention to the ice cream, already melting under the scorching sun. It makes a mess, and James laughs as she tries to lick the ice cream out of her hands, but then his laugh dies and she watches him swallow slowly, reacting. He always reacts to her.

She licks her lips now, and he also watches this movement, the grin on his face replaced by concentration—no, determination, a fierce look and Lily knows what James will do even before he raises his hand to slide his thumb at the corner of her mouth.

‘You missed here,’ he says, and though he must have wiped off the ice cream already, his caress remains.

His eyes are dark now, even under the sunlight, and he registers how Lily hasn’t stepped back, how she raises her head just the slightest to get closer to him. His gaze strays to her lips, Lily blinks, and then James looks back at her.

‘Lily,’ he says, and it’s a question.

‘James,’ she says, and it’s the only answer she can give him.

His lips find hers and in the bright darkness that surrounds Lily when she closes her eyes, she can see everything in colour. The white of his taste of vanilla. The green of his perfume that reminds her of early mourning in the woods. The brown of his skin as he pulls her closer, one hand holding the back of her neck and the other hand finding hers, locking their fingers together. The red of her blood pumping furiously through her veins, so loud and unstoppable.

And she sees him, messy dark hair, hazel bright eyes, her own sun.

But when they break apart, when she watches him keeping his eyes closed a second longer—savouring it, remembering it—, all that comes to her mind it’s the warning.

Taint his blood.

Her smile falters.

‘James,’ she whispers, all warmth of the day gone, hating everything but herself so much more when he opens his eyes and they are filled with hope. ‘This doesn’t mean anything.’

And this is the second lie she tells him.

___________

III.

Summer is over as far as Lily is concerned, but they still have two weeks in which she forces a smile up to her lips that doesn’t fool anyone.

Everyone knows something happened, though no one knows exactly what, and Lily feels too tired to pretend everything is normal. James barely acknowledges her when they are in the same room, and in the few occasions their eyes meet, there is nothing of that familiarity that he once thrived to share with her. He looks confused and hurt.

Lily could deal with the confusion but she is powerless against the hurt. She is the one who damaged him after all.

Their friends are mostly adamant in letting them deal with the situation, one notable exception being Sirius Black, but Lily didn’t expect anything less from him. He watches her rather resentfully in the first days, and Lily starts looking for excuses to avoid attending the events she had carefully arranged with them (with James, sitting by the edge of the lake, holding a scroll against his back as they wrote everything they would do, laughing and planning and hoping).

The summer days are hot, unbearably hot, and the breeze that comes through the window of her room isn’t enough. She could cast a Cooling Charm, but her wand is far away and the fact that she can cast spells outside school has lost its appeal now. She doesn't even celebrate when her school letter comes with a badge attached to it.

Most of the time Lily just stares at the ceiling of her room, finding patterns in the painting that aren’t really there, too strained and too tired to avoid being even more strained—her mind keeps replaying the moment James leaned closer, the brief moment his breath tingled her skin and the softness of his lips over hers, and Lily has no strength to avoid it. She is addicted to it, to the one thing she had a taste of and cannot have again.

Five days into hiding (she is hiding, Lily won’t deny it), her sister knocks on her door to tell her unceremoniously that one of her freak friends has come to visit her.

‘Hurry, I don’t want Vernon finding him when he arrives,’ Petunia tells her, and Lily ignores her completely.

Him, she said. Him, Lily thinks, and her mind conjures James sitting on the couch of her parents’ living room, a grin on his lips as he charms his way with her parents (he charmed her, Lily doesn’t see what challenge her parents would present), accepting a cup of tea and looking around trying to understand all the muggle contraptions in that muggle house—

Muggle lover. All the worse for him.

She rushes downstairs, her heart pounding on her head, her mouth dry with the excuses she will have to present (go away, just go away) but it’s not James after all.

Sirius looks even more out of place than the James she imagined inside her head, standing with his arms crossed in that pastel living room, and with an unhappy grimace on his lips. He turns at the sound of her, his grey eyes burning disapprovingly—and then, as he stares at her, his expression shifts.

‘You are a mess, Evans.’

Self-consciousness washes over her, and Lily runs her hand through her hair—or tries to, because it gets stuck in the knots of her messy braid. She knows she hasn’t changed clothes ever since she woke up, though it’s nearly midday, so she does the only thing she can: she presses her lips, crosses her arms and tries to look unfazed.

‘I wasn’t expecting a visit,’ she says. It’s summer break, she can do nothing all day.

‘I didn’t even mean your appearance. It was more your… aura.’

‘Aura,’ she repeats, a tiny part of her finding this amusing, but Lily can’t muster strength enough to break a smile. ‘Very mystical, Sirius.’

‘That’s me, master of occult arts. But in this case, I just needed to look at you. You—you look miserable.’

‘Thanks. If that’s all you wanted to say—’

‘Oh, no, I came here to give you a piece of my mind about how you broke my best friend’s heart, but you look somehow worse than him. What’s going on?’

Lily shrugs. ‘Nothing.’

‘So you just decided to play with his feelings and ditch him the moment he corresponded?’

His words are a poison that crawls through her skin, entering it slowly but certain; Lily feels it reaching her bloodstream, spreading through every part of her body, until the poison finds her heart. She thought she was oblivious to pain after the last days, but she was wrong.

‘I wasn’t playing with his feelings,’ she whispers, her voice hoarse, so close to breaking.

‘Then what? I thought—everyone thought—you fancied him too. Merlin, Evans, that boy was in love with you.’

The worst part is that Lily knows it. It was not a play to James, it never was. She saw it in the way his face lighted up at the sight of her, how eager he was to become friends once Lily first extended her peace flag. She saw how his eyes always looked first for her in any room he entered, how he’d find any reason to stay closer.

And she saw everything because she was paying attention.

Of course she was. One does not fall in love also if not paying attention.

‘I don’t know what to say, Sirius,’ Lily says truthfully. ‘I am sorry for all the confusion I’ve caused.’

‘Sorry is not enough.’

‘I know.’

Sirius watches her with something that borders on disappointment now. ‘You better find a way of fixing this, Evans.’

‘I—I don’t know how. I’m trying to keep my distance—’

‘And how is that helping you two?’

It’s not, Lily knows, and that’s the point. She can’t explain to James what is the problem and she is afraid that if she sees him again, if her determination falters her for one second—

‘We are going to have a party tomorrow night,’ Sirius says, his voice leaving no room for argument. ‘Dorcas’ house. It’s a goodbye party, we even invited the muggle neighbours. You’ll come, you’ll find James and you’ll talk. Fix this.’

‘I can’t.’

‘You better find a way, Evans, because that thing of keeping your distance? Well, Hogwarts letter came yesterday. Let me guess, you are Head Girl.’

Lily nods, not understanding where Sirius is heading with this.

‘Guess who’s Head Boy this year?’

____________

Lily hears the music as soon as she disapparates near Dorcas’ house. People, young people around her age, are walking towards the house and she joins the flow letting herself get lost in that stream of people, hoping it’s enough to not draw attention to her presence.

It’s useless. As soon as she crosses the doorway, Dorcas cries for her, her voice louder than the music, and then people look at her curiously.

‘Merlin, Lily!’ Dorcas cries, ignoring everyone in the room to whom that sentence makes no sense. ‘I thought I would need to invade the Prefect’s Cabin to see you again.’

‘Sorry, sorry,’ Lily says, accepting Dorcas’ hug, and using it as an excuse to avoid looking around. ‘I had stuff to do.’

It’s vague, it’s almost a lie, and Dorcas is on the edge of discussing it when Lily says she is going to get a drink, leaving the room.

When she reaches the kitchen, Lily considers that having herself questioned by Dorcas was preferable, because of course she runs into James at the first opportunity.

And of course he already has a company.

He is with his back to her, holding a bottle of beer in his hand while he talks with a pretty dark-haired girl. In another time Lily would find amusing how James obviously has no idea what he’s talking about—muggle rock bands, a subject that Sirius would fare better—, but she can’t break a smile right now, because she sees that James is trying.

That’s what he is doing with that unknown girl. He is making a real effort to keep a conversation, trying to understand what she is saying; he is trying to look interesting, to gather her attention.

Ten days, she thinks selfishly. We kissed ten days ago and I can’t stop thinking about it and you are flirting with another girl.

He must sense her staring; he turns around, and his eyes find her for a brief second before Lily bolts through the door (she is running, and she won’t deny it), grabbing the first bottle she sees on her way out.

Sirius must have lied to her (you broke my best friend’s heart), because James looks normal. Not hurt anymore, just… normal. Not like he used to like her in those first glorious days of the summer—bright and hopeful and awaiting—but as if she is just anyone else. Ordinary.

It’s fair, all things considered. She couldn’t expect him to remain in love with the girl who kissed him then rejected him. But she sees it, clearly as day, what the future holds: James will move on whatever he feels for her (that boy was in love with you) and then he will do with someone else everything he used to do with her—that inviting grins, the glint in his eyes, throwing his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer, so… intimate. Familiar. Hers.

He will share with others what used to be hers.

She leaves the house, in search of a quiet place at the beach to sit on, and looks at the bottle in her hands. Wine. Not good. She will take forever to get drunk on wine and afterwards the headache won’t even be worth it.

But it’s all she has and James is somewhere in that house flirting with a girl (that’s not her) that didn’t reject him and he has every right to do it. Even if it’s a muggle girl. Even if the reason Lily is not with him is that she is muggleborn.

It’s ironic and it’s sad, but it’s not the same. This is a one-night thing. It’s the end of the summer, he’s probably just looking for the last bit of carefree summer adventure as the single guy he is. They will just dance with each other, close together, enjoying their freedom, finding a secluded room, and he will touch the corner of her lips, asking, and she will say yes because that’s the only answer she can give him.

It won’t mean anything, but this time it will be true and this time James won’t get hurt by it.

Maybe Lily should do the same. Not to get even, but to start her own way forward. She can’t be harbouring her feelings for him—wasn’t that the point of not advancing things? Wasn’t that why she lied to him? (That kiss had meant everything)

She takes a sip of the wine, then another and one more for good measure, and she rises, almost colliding with him. Of course.

‘Hey,’ he says awkwardly, arms extended to steady her. It lasts less than a second, but his hands over her arms burn all the same, stronger than the heat any day of that summer.

‘Hi.’

He is looking at a point over her head, unable to meet her eyes, his hand lifting the hair at the back of his head and Lily remembers running her fingers through the strands of his hair while they were kissing, enjoying the fact that for once she was the one messing it.

‘Look, I’m just gonna say it, okay?’ James says in a rush, not as when he is excitedly talking about something he finds interesting. ‘I’m sorry for—for everything.’

Everything. What does it mean?

‘I am too,’ she answers carefully. He takes a deep breath.

‘I heard we are going to be Heads this year—I don’t know what Dumbledore was thinking, really—and I don’t want things to be weird between us.’

Weird. Things were never weird between them before. They weren’t friends, then Lily barely stood him, then they were acquaintances, then they were friends, then they were flirting with each other and then they were so close to something.

But never weird.

Somehow this notion helps to clear the fog in her head.

‘I don’t want it either,’ Lily says, and there is no doubt in her voice. James seems to breathe again with her words.

‘Good.’ There is a moment of silence. ‘Can we forget everything and go back to being just friends?’

Lily steels herself. She takes a look at James’ face—his eyes are on her forehead now, almost meeting her eyes but not yet ready—, one last look to admire him in the darkness of the beach and she is not lying when she says: ‘We can.’

By the end of the night it will be a lie, though, and that’s number three.

___________

They are trying and because no one tries better than James Potter, they are almost achieving it.

They go back to the house, keeping a safe distance between them so no one could misinterpret it, but whatever their friends see in their faces seems to relax everyone. Lily and James are fine, they believe, they are over that weird thing between them, and Lily starts believing it too.

She can do it.

A bottle of gin finds its way towards her group and the music is exciting. It’s a party, she is on a party, and it’s easy to join Dorcas in the middle of a dance, and it’s even easier when Dorcas is replaced by a cute muggle boy who doesn’t look anything like James (that’s why it’s easier—it takes only one second for her to look for any similarity and find none and it’s so easy).

She wonders if that’s why James was talking to that dark-haired girl. If he was avoiding finding Lily in someone else too.

But that’s a bad thought, it’s not a thought of someone who’s trying (and Lily is, she swears), so she accepts his arms, let who-knows-his-name twirl her around the room, but when he leans in to kiss her, she laughs and diverts—she is trying, but it takes small steps, so she says something about getting another drink and goes to the next room.

That’s a mistake.

A big, big mistake.

She finds them sitting close together on a couch that should only fit one, joining some silly drinking game. His arm is around her shoulders, holding a glass that’s nearly finished; they are laughing and as Lily watches it, the girl leans closer to speak something in his ear, her hand playing with the curls of his hair as she speaks. It takes a full second, but he grins, turning to her and winking.

It could be nothing, it could be just some joke, but it’s not harmless, Lily knows it. It’s a flirt, and James has every right to do it; he is free and Lily has just told him they can be friends. Friends don’t get jealous. Friends don’t get their hearts ripped out with the sight of the other smiling happily at someone else.

Lily can’t do it at all.

So she turns away and runs once more (she’s getting quite good at it by now), sprinting upstairs in search of an empty room, somewhere where she can rest until she can breathe again, until she can rearrange her expression into something normal enough for her to come back to the party, find that blond guy who is not James and enjoy her summer break as he is doing right now.

Until she can pretend everything is normal.

‘Lily?’

His voice breaks the silence of that room—though Lily knows she would have heard it anyway—and it sends a wave of panic through her body. She is not ready. She can’t look at him and still keep her promise.

James doesn’t know about her troubles—he is trying after all, and he is so much better at this than Lily will ever be—so he walks towards her, takes a look at her face and kneels in front of her.

‘Are you okay?’

‘No,’ she says, unable to lie. He would see through her anyway.

‘I saw you leaving—what happened?’

‘I need more time. I can’t...’

‘Can’t what?’ She doesn’t answer. James sighs. ‘Are you drunk? Come on, rest a little, I will bring you some water—’

‘I’m not drunk,’ Lily says. Another truth. ‘I just need—I want—’

‘What?’

In answer, she raises her hand and lets her fingers comb his hair. He shivers, his breath catching, his eyes widening and he holds her arm to stop the movement. Nervous. Insecure. She can’t fault him. They’ve been there before, at the edge of something, and she accepted only to turn him away a second later.

‘What are you doing?’

It’s a demand more than a question, and Lily attends it. ‘I don’t want anybody else touching you like I do. It’s mine.’

Her voice is ferocious and unfair and Lily waits for his cold reply, the one she deserves—she has no right to claim any part of him—, but it never comes. Instead, James blinks.

‘Then take it,’ he challenges. Lily does.

Her lips crash over his, and this time is not soft or patient. It’s desperate and when she tastes the whiskey in his mouth, she understands the difference and gladly accepts it. His hands are everywhere—holding her waist, climbing under her skirt, running through her hair to pull her closer—but what somehow stays with her it’s the moment he closes the door and then they are alone and the darkness is their friend.

The darkness makes it easy, embarrassingly easy, for her to break the kiss enough to lift his shirt and for him to slide her dress down and for them to find their way to the bed. He holds her, his lips incessantly, and a part of Lily wonders if he doesn’t want to break apart for fear of what happened the last time he did it.

But the majority of her is too wrapped in the feelings he is bringing to worry about anything. She accepts him, accepts every caress he distributes openly, and returns it eagerly. She tastes the saltiness of his skin, feels every muscle of his chest—the ones she has memorized after so many days at the beach though she had only imagined how they would feel under her fingers—, presses herself closer to him. His hands are exploring her—he saw her at the beach too—and then his mouth replaces his hands and the moan that escapes her lips is true.

She pulls him up, tasting her own sweat on his lips—it was a warm day and it’s a warmer night—and her hands work on the button of his jeans. There is a moment of hesitation—he breaks away, his eyes boring into hers even as the darkness barely allows them to see each other—and then it’s gone. He pulls her last piece of cloth then stands up long enough to take out his last one and then there is only them.

Only Lily and James, except they don’t feel like two anymore. They are one and in the darkness, Lily sees those colours that are so James once more, fireworks whose sounds are moans and short breaths and names whispered so low that the other could pretend they didn’t hear.

But Lily hears it and it’s hers. He is hers for that moment and she is his.

She lied before (and now she knows it). She can’t forget him. She can’t be just friends. James is bright sunny days, cosy cold nights and she longs to share it all with him (she couldn’t, but her mind can’t recall why right now). She locks her hand with his, her nails burying into his skin, and Lily doesn’t want to let go.

He holds her hand, pressing it so hard that she can’t feel circulation there anymore, and then he cries her name, this time impossible to deny it. He called her.

It’s not the last time he will do it tonight. He presses another kiss to her lips—it’s feverish and urgent and somehow even more desperate than the first one—, rests his forehead against her catching his breath and Lily enjoys the moment, enjoys that pleasure and soreness that runs through her body, enjoys how her chest brushes against his as she breathes, slower each time, recovering.

Recover. As if she could.

James breaks apart, rolling to the side and for a moment there is silence, the music distant, the world distant until it’s not anymore, until the world seems too close and the air too heavy, not one breeze to refresh it. Lily thinks of opening the window—it’s already opened, the wind bringing the smell of the sea to the room—when she realizes it’s not the air that feels wrong.

It’s them. No, it’s him.

‘James,’ she calls, panic and fear trembling her voice, coldness spreading through her skin in a way that it should not be possible, not on this summer day.

She can hear him rising from the bed, grabbing his clothes.

‘Lily,’ he answers shortly, opening briefly the door and she can’t see his face. ‘I know, it doesn’t mean anything.’

And that’s James Potter's first lie.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

I agree with your Jily thoughts but wondering if you could talk a bit more about it? Why did James bother wasting all that time chasing Lily? Was she just that pretty? Were they ever happy or truly in love? Why did she say yes? If the war didn't happen who would have Jily ended up with? I'd like to think someone like Andromeda (not her exactly, but someone from a pureblood family who held non racist values) for James and i dunno maybe a muggle for Lily? Considering muggleborns arent exactly set up for success and I cant see Lily being okay with living as a second class citizen

For reference, some heretical thoughts on James and Lily's marriage. Also some thoughts on James which include some thoughts on his relationship with Lily.

And you really want me to get flayed over the internet, don't you anon?

Well, I guess that's what I'm here for. So here we go, hopefully people very upset by this sort of thing have their anti filters up.

Why Did James Bother Wasting All that Time Chasing After Lily?

For what it's worth, especially when they're teenagers before real life sets in, I do think James likes Lily.

She's very pretty, which certainly helps, but she's also very driven, very smart, and seems to be very personable (though it does not seem as if she is close with many).

Lily has a lot of likeable qualities beyond just her face that James could be interested in.

That said, there's also her background. I think, especially for a young James in Hogwarts, Lily being muggleborn would make her very appealing.

By pursuing her, he is actively spitting in the face of the Blacks, the Malfoys, and pretty much name your smarmy pureblood family. More, Lily is... not the token muggleborn per se, but the golden standard.

She's pretty, very smart, achieves very good results, again is personable, and all around pleasant. She's the muggleborn that defies the rules and you can take to parties and say, "Wow, look how amazing muggleborns are!"

Compare her to Snape, who is a halfblood, comes from an abusive household, is impoverished, is not good looking, and is not personable.

Notice that James and friends torment the living hell out of Snape, but it's cool, they're progressive because James likes Lily.

And then there's also the challenge of it.

Lily keeps saying no.

Rather than get discouraged, this just encourages James, as it means he's not trying hard enough. James seems to be the guy who likes the chase, if he wasn't, then he would have given up years ago as you said.

Were They Ever Happy or Truly in Love?

I imagine there was a time when they were happy.

They did date shortly in Hogwarts and it must have gone well enough for the relationship to survive graduation. If it was unbearably awful they would have broken up with each other long before that point.

Now, do I think Lily knew the full extent of how much James and pals harassed Snape? No.

Do I imagine Lily had to put up with a lot of talk about how progressive James and Pals are because Sirius has an ACDC t-shirt? Yes.

Do I think Lily's life without Snape proved very bleak and she faced a bleaker future with prospects of unemployment and poverty? Yes.

Do I imagine that Lily got in the way of bro-time for James? Well, he probably made bro-time happen anyway, but she must have to some extent and I'm sure Sirius asked him, "Dude?! What happened to us?!"

But again, if they really were miserable together, they wouldn't have made it to graduation.

In love?

Well, it's hard to say, but I'm inclined to say no.

In Hogwarts they're too young, they don't know enough about each other. They might be riding high on puppy love, maybe, but that's not the same thing.

What we see outside of Hogwarts points to constant stress and hardship that would ruin even the most functional relationship. The small glimpses we do have into their marriage then (that James would run off while in hiding with the invisibility cloak, risking all of their lives, for no reason) is not good.

I imagine as the realities of being in hiding, of having a prophesied child, sunk in their relationship fell into complete disrepair.

If they were in love, I don't think love could survive that, at least, not with these two.

Why Did She Say Yes?

God, you people are going to kill me.

Well, first, Lily as a muggleborn has no prospects and after losing Snape she has no friends.

Lily's last few years of Hogwarts are desperately lonely, James seems to have toned it down and appears to be one of the few purebloods sympathetic to her, and he really seems to like her. He has never wavered in liking her once over many years.

He seems like he's changed.

Perhaps, she can give him a chance.

I imagine Lily at first tentatively agrees to go on a date, and he is charming and funny, so one date turns into two and then they're officially dating.

As for marriage.

... Yeah I just have to say it, shotgun wedding.

They get married and have a child very quickly, and granted, that seems to be the norm in the wizarding world but remember their circumstances.

Both Lily and James are active fighters in Dumbledore's illegal vigilante group, neither appears to have a career (James being old money doesn't have to but I imagine Lily tried (and failed) to find one).

Lily is muggleborn. I don't care how progressive James' parents are, as the heir of a very wealthy and established pureblood family I'm sure they looked at this red-headed muggleborn without a galleon to her name and just died of a heart attack.

True, James was their only child and the product of many difficult years conceiving, and he's from a more progressive family but...

I just see the Potters and many other of the 'lighter' pureblood families having more of the philosophy of "Muggleborns should absolutely go to Hogwarts, get an education, and have a place in society. But don't invite them over for dinner."

That James is allowed to marry Lily very quickly, with seemingly little fuss, with seemingly no obligation of turning down a previously arranged marriage (though the surviving Marauders could have left out such details when recapping things to Harry), and how quickly Harry is born in the times he's born in...

Shotgun wedding.

If the War Hadn't Happened Who Would James and Lily Ended Up With?

Well, I think the shotgun wedding would have happened regardless. But let's say that's not in the books and that there's not a war disrupting things either.

I imagine the relationship doesn't work out as they realize they have different interests and are too different of people. There's very little tying them together.

James likely marries whoever his parents arrange for him to marry. A daughter of a well-to-do established, pureblood line. Which of these women this would be is anyone's guess, but somebody. Probably not any of the Black sisters as they're already accounted for.

As for Lily, I imagine she remains single for a good while. Everyone she knows in her age range is from Hogwarts, this world is very small, and she's probably not going to end up with any of them for the issues you list.

Purebloods really don't get it. The closest are... Arthur Weasley. And when he and Sirius Black riding motorcycles are the closest your culture gets to respect, you're in for a rough dating scene.

If she does end up in a relationship it's with somebody outside of canon or non-obvious.

(And look at me not plugging my ship because I know it's ridiculous. Be proud of me readers.)

[blueeyedrat]

Steam Next Fest! New name, same idea: a large library of demos for new and upcoming games to try out. In between finishing up some games and assorted projects, and starting up some games I've been meaning to get around to, I was able to find time for some demos that caught my eye.

More comments under the cut:

Sable - This was the first and last demo I tried this time around, and it's a game I've been intrigued by for quite a while. I wasn't actually able to finish the demo either time I played; I fell out of bounds and had to restart the first time, and it crashed later on during the second. It doesn't run well on my old laptop, I suppose... which is a shame, because technical issues aside, I was really enjoying it! I don't play open-world stuff all that often, but this one definitely scratched an itch. It reminded me a lot of Zelda with a similar "run everywhere and climb everything" vibe. Gliding through the air and crossing the vast dunes on a hoverbike felt pretty satisfying, too. The designs are distinctive and visually striking, the music is nice, and the demo provides just enough hints about both the setting and Sable herself to leave me wanting more.

Terra Nil - A "reverse city builder" about restoring life to a barren wasteland. I wish I had more to say about this one, but it's another one for the "I wish my laptop could run this game better" column: the demo kept crashing before I could really get into it. I liked what little I was able to play, though. The gameplay was pretty intuitive, and the aesthetic was quite lovely. Will definitely be keeping an eye on this game, one way or another.

Patrick's Parabox - A sokoban puzzler with a recursive twist: rooms nested in other rooms, and in some cases, rooms nested within themselves. The extra dimension adds a fun spin on the base sokoban gameplay, and the demo showcased some fun ways it could be used for puzzles. I recommend looking into it if you're interested in games of this sort.

Harmony's Odyssey - A puzzle game about unscrambling colorful dioramas. The art style's cute and appealing, and the puzzles were fine, but it didn't seem to have a lot of depth beyond its basic mechanic. The interface was a bit awkward, too; the camera was either too far zoomed in to see all of the pieces, or too far zoomed out to see any of them. It was charming enough, but I'm not sure I'll be delving into it further.

Little Witch in the Woods - From one cute-witch-themed game to another, and another game I've been curious about for a while. A chill life sim with a cozy setting, a colorful cast of characters, a variety of flora and fauna to discover, and a focus on magic and potion-making rather than ordinary farming. Very charming, but also very slow-paced. While it is satisfying to process resources and concoct potions, foraging for said resources is a slow grind, and it's all too easy for your efforts to go to waste because you accidentally tossed a potion bottle in the wrong direction. Still, it seems like quite a pleasant time if you have the patience for it. I'm undecided if it's the sort of game for me, but I'm willing to wait and see.

Faerie Afterlight - An exploration puzzle-platformer with a bright, beautiful visual style. Gameplay-wise, the movement feels nice and has potential to be pretty interesting: the demo starts off with your character having just unlocked the ability to jump and wall-jump, you obtain a dash later on, and more abilities will likely come further in the game. It has some unique mechanics (like controlling a secondary character who can interact with gates and possess enemies) and the combat is okay, but the demo stumbles once or twice when it demands you manage all of these aspects simultaneously. Seems like an alright game, even if it didn't stand out to me like other games on this list.

Unpacking - A meditative puzzle game about arranging everyday objects in rooms. This is another one I've been interested in, and now that I've tried it for myself... there's a lot to unpack, if you'll excuse my wording. There's a certain weight to nostalgia and sentimentality, even when it's tied up in mundane objects like books and toys. The comfortable and familiar, the things we keep with us, and the things we discard or leave behind, everyone values them differently. Even in a brief demo, Unpacking manages to encapsulate this idea in a way that few other games can. Each segment is a snapshot of a different moment in a person's life. Through the simple task of sorting through their belongings and finding a place for everything, you learn about this person, and a narrative emerges. What they take with them, what they leave behind, and what they pick up along the way. It's a fascinating little game, and one that could be emotionally compelling in ways I was not prepared for.

OGOPOGO - An arcade puzzle game about making palindrome block chains. ...Have you ever stumbled across a game that feels like it was made specifically for you? I had never heard of this one until a few days ago when I was perusing the Steam demo list. It's a simple concept, but it trips the pattern-finding part of my brain in very pleasing ways. I can see myself sinking a lot of idle time into this one when it comes out.

TOEM - Quite a pleasant game to round out the list. There's been a renaissance of photography games over the past year or so; I still have New Pokémon Snap and Beasts of Maravilla Island waiting in the wings, and I can think of half a dozen other titles either already out or near on the horizon. It's easy to see the appeal, since it's a sort of game that inherently rewards exploration and discovery while also being pretty chill and low-stress. TOEM looks to be a fine example, with a simple, charming black-and-white art style, and a friendly and inviting world to run around in and complete tasks with your camera. Take a picture, it'll last longer.

A few technical bumps on the road, but a nice selection of games regardless. See you next time.

[fandomdancer]

The Dance

In the year 2169, you are a senior in high school. You've been best friends with the same two young men since grade school. One of them is your date to the senior dance. The other is the class loner: Eobard Thawne. When your date make a suddenly unexpected move, you find yourself feeling like the perfect night is ruined. But then Eobard shows up...

Word Count: 3,754 words

Rating: T, but may be M

Pairings: OC/Reader, Eobard/Reader

A/N: First attempt at a reader-insert fic. Special thanks to @darlingpetao3 @yetanotherwells @wellsaddict and @hawk-lee for listening to me freak out about this, inspiring me, and giving me the courage to actually post it. I hope it's interesting and fun for you to read.

This is Mattobard's version of Thawne, since it takes place during his teenage years.

This fic was inspired by this song (which is the featured waltz in the story). 'Pride and Penance', from World of Warcraft: Shadowlands.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZtBflZHIcQ

_________________________________________________________

The moment you step into the darkened dance hall, you feel as though you have been transported back in time. In fact, you can’t help but wonder if the organizers of this year’s spring formal are utilizing some of Rip Hunter’s famous Time Couriers to literally open a door to the past. Everything around is, at minimum, dated back a hundred years ago, from the DJ setting up digital playlists to the black-light-illuminated chairs seated around tables littered with drinks, plates of food, and what looks like games. The music right now is from the early 2000s, but you expect the songs to range through decades, possibly even centuries over the course of the night. Multicolored lights hang from the ceiling, giving the place an overall ‘club’ look, accentuated by the powerful underlighting at the bar.

The temperature increases as you enter on your date’s arm, the exertion from the dancing and milling bodies heating up the air in the room. The dance started only thirty minutes ago, but the excitement in the room is palpable, and kids are wasting no time yelling ‘hellos’ and ‘how are yous’ as they toss back nonalcoholic drinks. One table is already full of kids engaged in what looks like an intense card game with multicolored discs sprayed across the table in front of them.

Catching the fever of the room, you cast a huge grin up at your date, a handsome young man you’ve known since grade school. The two of you are dressed perhaps a little fancy for the event, with him in a fine, high-collared suit befitting a 20th century aristocrat and you in a deep red 1940s princess ballgown. Overdressing is okay: the two of you were expecting a slightly more ‘ballroom’ shindig, not this ‘21st century club’ event, and upon looking around you can see that other members of your class had similar ideas, wearing everything from 1800s Victorian gowns to military uniforms.

“They did a good job,” your date says. “Though one would think they could have come up with a more original theme name than ‘Blast to the Past’.”

“Don’t cheesy titles comprise part of the charm of last century?” you ask as the two of you move towards the obligatory picture arena. “Wasn’t stating the obvious considered not only funny, but…what was the word…a meemee?”

“Meme. One word, one syllable. And yes. Memes were a rather popular form of communication in the early 21st century, though I guess they started well before that.” Your date eyes the line and the picture-taking arena before them. “Is that….a phone booth?”

You are both intrigued as you watch a couple go into the booth, pulling a curtain shut and separating them from the outside world. Their feet are obvious as they scrabble into various positions, each one punctuated by a bright flash ands lots of giggling. The couple emerges, looking flushed and full of smiles, and watch as two thin strips of plastic emerged from the wall of the booth. The two grab the plastic strips and look at them, giggling as they walk away.

“It’s a photo booth.”

The voice right beside you and your date startles you, and you quickly look over to see one of the chaperones for the event, Ms. Steinway, a few feet away. The young teacher looks stunning in a green floor-length gown, her blonde hair floating ethereally around her shoulders. She gestures. “You go in, and you have five pictures taken of you in quick succession. There’s usually only three to four seconds between each photo so people often planned ahead what they would do ahead of time. You can make faces, or be serious…whatever you would like!”

“Thank you, Ms. Steinway,” you say before looking back to your date. “Well. I guess we have about a minute to come up with five different poses.”

“Why don’t we improvise? We’re both good thinkers on our feet.”

The tension and pressure of racing to beat a timed photo session is appealing to you, probably a side effect of all the time you've been spending lately with your other friend, Eobard Thawne. He has a strong taste for competition and it’s been rubbing off on you in the years you’ve known him.

The sudden thought of Thawne makes you skim the room, wondering if the class loner has actually shown up to tonight’s dance. You’re pretty sure he’s not here; this isn’t his type of thing at all. It’s certainly why you didn’t ask him to be your date. It’s also the only reason why you didn’t ask him to be your date. Eobard Thawne’s proud, handsome figure and strikingly keen intellect has drawn many a girl’s attention over the years, including yours, and you’ve made a concentrated effort to ignore it. But lately, you’ve noticed that he seems to be hovering near you much more often. And he got into a fistfight with your date a few weeks ago…you never did quite figure out what had caused that argument…

Seeing him here tonight would definitely open a lot of doors, however. Perhaps you would be brave enough to ask him for a single dance. He can be a truly arrogant ass but he has always been at least civil to you…probably because the two of you have also known each other since grade school.

Your date pushes you forward and you realize that, as usual, thoughts of Eobard have distracted you for several seconds. It is your turn in the photo booth.

The booth is small and simple, with a little touch screen that simply says ‘go’. A quick glance over the screen shows that presets are in place, with no way to change them. It is a little aggravating to not be able to customize the photos but you suppose that’s to get the line of kids moving quickly. With a quick glance at your date, the two of you reach out and tap the ‘go’ button together.

The very first thing he does is kiss you. It’s so fast and so intense that you don’t even have time to react. Suddenly his mouth is open and wet and moving on yours and his hand is in your carefully-crafted hairstyle and you are shocked beyond words because of all the poses you had considered in this run of pictures, your longtime friend kissing you was not one of them. You’ve suspected he felt this way about you and there was no doubt in your mind that he would be an excellent romantic partner, but you hadn’t really…thought about him like that. In fact, the only person you really thought about like that was…Eobard.

He finally pulls back and looks quickly at the camera, grinning widely. Your brain is fuzzed and rolling with several unfinished sentences and questions, but some little part of you keeps control and turns to smile bright and beautiful at the screen. The two of you make silly faces next, and as you are setting up for what you think is the next picture, the screen goes dark. You realize in shock that he used three of the five pictures to kiss you. Feeling frustrated and cheated, you get out of the booth, pasting a smile on your face so as not to appear angry to the line of kids waiting outside. You’ll have plenty of time to discuss his choices later.

The pictures print out and they’re definitely difficult to look at. The first one shows your obvious surprise, but the second two are worse, showcasing your desperate attempt to keep control of what is happening by grabbing at his face and responding to his kiss. It was not your best decision, but you feel like it was your only choice at the moment – and that realization makes you furious.

The two of you head to an unoccupied table, and the moment you set down the photos you whirl on your date, your insides twisted in knots and your throat almost sealed shut from the force of your anger. “What the hell?”

“What?”

It’s even hotter in this room with your anger charging you up. You are pretty sure your face is the color of your dress. “You kissed me.”

He smiles. “Of course I did. What did you think we were going to do in there?”

Your mouth drops open. “Make faces and smile! When did kissing appear on the list of things to do tonight?”

His brow furrows. “When you agreed to be my date. Come now, you can’t possibly miss all the signs I’ve given you. You know me better than that.”

His self-entitled arrogance sets your teeth on edge and you clutch the table so hard you’re amazed it doesn’t bend. “I’ve known you for almost all of my life and you have never been so rude as to just kiss someone without making sure it’s all right with them! You wait for that kind of invitation! You don’t blindside her during a timed picture taking session!”

“Spontaneity has never been your thing, and I respect that,” he begins to say.

You cut him off. “Clearly not or these wouldn’t exist!” You wave the pictures at him before slamming them down onto the table. You don’t know what you’re angrier about now; being forced into this situation before you felt ready, his seeming blindness to how the whole situation played out, or the fact that you feel like what should have been a beautiful moment is ruined and you are never going to get it back.

A waltz begins to play, the very song the two of you were hoping would be the focus of the evening, and he reaches a hand out to you. “You’re right. I made a terrible mistake. I thought it would be fun and I assumed you would be all right with it. I am sorry. I truly am. We will go have the pictures retaken. But will you dance with me? This sounds like a beautiful waltz and I don’t want to have ruined the night by making a terrible decision right at the beginning.”

He sounds sincere but you don’t answer him at first. Your mind is still awash with anger and betrayal and a sudden desire to be anywhere but in this room right now. You don’t want to just forgive him for doing this to you. But you also don’t want the night to be ruined, and right now the song playing sounds like it could be a wonderful dance and you aren’t sure how many more will be played with the selection of music likely being offered. Reluctantly, you slip your hand into his.

“We aren’t done with this conversation,” you state firmly.

“Of course not.” He twirls you gently. “But this song fits you and I want to see you dancing to it.”

You don’t know the name of the song, but it has a haunting melody to it, almost ghostlike with sliding violins. Waltzes always have a kind of built-in grace to them, a slippery seduction meant to make it easy to move to. But this piece has an additionally dramatic vocalist that elevates the rhythm to something royal and aristocratic. You can almost imagine the two of you (and the couples that are joining you on the floor) dancing in the hall of an ancient, grand mansion while a dark storm swirls outside the floor-to-ceiling windows and the dry fingers of tree branches curl menacingly in shadows on the floor, trapping the dancers’ feet in their grip.

“Pardon me.”

The familiar voice snaps you out of the daydream you are drifting into, and you rock slowly back and forth in your date’s arms as you realize Eobard is standing in front of you two. Your breath catches and your heart rate picks up instantly as you look at him. He looks as though he has stepped straight out of your daydream: a young lord trapped in a dying manor, cloaked in high-collared black and red with the light shimmering blindingly on his short blond hair. Even more shocking is the dramatic flair he has added to the outfit: a full-length black cape fastened at his neck with a ruby. He is too beautiful to touch and yet your hands…and other, sweeter, deeper parts of you…ache as you stare at him.

His eyes sweep over you and you think you see his jaw clench slightly before he speaks again. “May I cut in?”

“You’re in our way, Bardo,” your date growls, all softness and politeness gone from his voice.

“I wasn’t addressing you,” Eobard responds to him but doesn’t take his eyes off of you. Your throat is growing dry from the simple intensity of his gaze. “I was addressing your partner." He nods to you. "May I cut in?”

You finally register what he is asking, and the thrill that races through you makes you shiver. You had thought you might have the courage to ask him to dance if you had seen him here, but him asking you is completely unexpected. Saying no to him might prevent him from asking again, but saying yes would probably send the wrong message to your date.

Then again, your date certainly sent you the wrong message when he forced you to kiss him in the photo booth.

It’s a very simple question with a very simple answer.

“I would be honored,” you reply, trying to sound as cool and proper as possible. As you pull away from your date, you feel his hands clench briefly on you. You quickly look up at him, seeing the betrayal in his eyes. At first you feel smug, but then you remind yourself that he did apologize. You give him your best comforting smile. “We’ll continue this later,” you say to him, making his expression soften just a little. But the look he gives Eobard is poisonous.

Eobard’s expression doesn’t change. Instead, he unfastens the cape from around his neck and whips it dramatically off, draping it unceremoniously on your date’s still-outstretched arms. “Would you be so kind as to place this on a nearby chair?”

Redness floods your date’s face, and you start to open your mouth to scold Eobard for his rudeness, but his hands grip you firmly and he spins you away into the dancing crowd before you can say a word. Your feet scrabble as you try to keep up, and you have a feeling he’s trying to get you as far away from your date as fast as possible. Focusing on your movements, you catch his rhythm and begin to move in time with him, gaining control over yourself while still permitting him to lead. You’re angry enough now that you’re tempted to just walk out the door after this dance. When did your two best friends turn into such boys? They’re acting like you’re a prize in a competition and while that might be flattering, it’s making you feel a bit like an object and not like the lady you want to be tonight.

“You dance well,” Eobard compliments.

You roll your eyes. “You dragged me out here and I just got my balance back. Don’t patronize me.”

“I wouldn’t dare,” he answers. “I mean what I say. I saw you trying to dance with your date over there. He was trying. You were succeeding.”

You snort and sigh. “I wish the two of you would tell me why you both seem to have lost your minds lately.”

Eobard tilts his head. “Isn’t it obvious?”

Your heart pounds and you know what you hope the answer is, but coming right out and saying it feels like a such a terrible risk. Eobard’s emotional difficulties make him dangerous sometimes, the wrong word or look pushing him away for days at a time. You are not going to ruin this night, this dance, this moment that has been playing in your dreams.

“Obviously not, or I wouldn’t have brought it up,” you say, trying to put an innocent look on your face. You aren’t sure if it works or not, but the hard look in Eobard’s eyes softens somewhat, and he guides you around the floor. Looking up at him, you surrender your mind to the daydream, milking this moment for all it is worth. The seductive waltz paints the image of a great hall, decadent in its decay, the memory of opulence just as romantic as the opulence itself. And Eobard, cold and proud and throat-achingly beautiful, spins you around it, commanding your body with his touch, and commanding your mind with his eyes.

“Your friend and I,” he says in a low voice, “are both seeking your approval.”

Dear God, he actually said it. You’re almost dizzy with excitement as you frantically think of how to navigate the next few sentences. Honesty is going to be key. “You have a funny way of showing it. First that fistfight a few weeks ago and now tonight he just kisses me out of the blue and then you drag me off like I belong to you or something…”

“He did what?” Eobard stops the two of you cold, and you blink, looking up at his grey eyes, watching in surprise as they turn stormy and dark. His pale face begins to flush as he gazes down at you. You can’t tell if what you’re seeing is anger or not, but as his eyebrows draw together you feel your insides flutter. It’s more than just anger. It’s jealousy.

Eobard is jealous.

The realization makes your throat close and you swallow several times as adrenaline floods your veins. The possibilities open up in your mind, and you suddenly realize that while both men are, in fact, treating you like a prize, you are still the one in control.

“He kissed me for our photo,” you say carefully, letting the frustration and hurt show on your face. “I didn’t know he was going to.”

Eobard looks at you, his jaw clenching and unclenching, and his face continuing to grow red. His hands tighten on your waist and hand, and a strange excitement blooms in your chest. Eobard Thawne, so aloof and elitist, suffering from the simple emotion of jealousy. And jealousy related to you, because he’s seeking your approval. Despite the heat of the moment, you find yourself fighting a smile.

“Did you enjoy it?” he asks tightly.

You know the truth and you know what saying it will mean. But right now, you are unable to lie to him, captivated by the thrill of his reaction and the intoxicating crescendo building around you.

“No.”

Eobard’s chin lifts and a smug satisfaction fills his eyes as the music crescendos loudly. With a climactic crash of drums, he decisively pushes you out into a firm spin, and then brings you back in, his hand slipping to the small of your back and holding you flush against his body. And for one fiery, fierce moment, you realize that you can feel him, dear God, all of him, pressed possessively against you, and a weakness makes your knees wobble and your mouth go dry as you stare into his eyes, only inches away, and realize what he is silently saying to you.

Then the two of you are moving again as he takes everything up another notch, whirling you both within the crowd as though you have all the space in the world. The music pounds with your steps, pulsing inside of you, the melody a full-throated cry from the whole orchestra, igniting adrenaline and fire within you. Your mouth falls open to gasp for air as your eyes drift closed. You don’t need to see, only to feel the clutch of his hands and the heat of his body and the light pressure on your waist as he leads you.

And then, in one powerful beat, the music stops. Eobard pushes you backwards into a dramatic dip, holding you up while your hands claw at him. You can’t see the ecstasy on your face but a few gasps from the people around you suggest that the two of you may be in a very compromising position. You don’t care. Your body is shaking and tingling. You feel sweat dampening your skin, and the heat…you’re drowning in it. But you don’t want to move. You don’t want it to be over. Most of all, you don’t want his hands leaving you. Ever.

Your breath comes in heavy gasps as he draws you up to your feet. He steadies you, and your eyes finally drift open. The sight before you makes you shiver again. Eobard is breathing just as hard as you are, and has the same slightly dazed expression on his face that you are feeling. You vaguely realize that while you were trying to keep your balance you gripped his hair and shirt because both of them are bunched and mussed. But neither of you can look away from the other for several seconds.

Finally, he is the first one to move. He gently straightens his shirt and runs a hand through his hair. He brings his heels together and reaches for your hand. He bows, lifting your hand to his lips and placing a chaste kiss on the back of it.

“Thank you,” he says, “for the lovely dance. If you’ll excuse me, I believe I need some air.”

You nod slowly. “I…think I do too.”

Something sparks in his eyes, and he offers you his arm. You consider taking it, but the sensation that sweeps through you as you realize what the implications are stop you. You are awash in powerful emotions now, enough to know that if you go with him, you’re going to do something you want…

….oh do you want….

….but on impulse, caught up in the moment.

You know you need to gather yourself. The night has only just begun.

“I will see you back in here,” you reply, offering a polite curtsey. It isn’t a blatant rejection, just more of a ‘not now’. Eobard seems to understand and his withdraws his hand before turning and striding for the door.

You head for a different exit, catching a glimpse of your date just as you leave the room. His face is a thunderstorm, and you feel a slight chill that cuts through the hazy fog of your mind.

The night has only just begun, and you have a feeling it’s going to be a long one.

[ibijau]

*chanting* sangxuan, sangxuan! because I’ve been reminded that I love that ship, have a continuation of that fic where jzx is a very repressed bi with a huge ass crush on nhs

It takes Nie Mingjue about a week to realise that there's something wrong with Nie Huaisang. The first day or two, he blames it on the shock it must be for his brother to have finally graduated from Lan Qiren's classes, and with unexpectedly high grades at that. That success must have given Nie Huaisang one of his sudden short bursts of motivation, and that's why he's suddenly attending sabre practice with the other disciple, and showing up on time for lessons. Those bursts are usually short lived, in Nie Mingjue's experience. Where the sabre is concerned, five consecutive days of hard work is his brother's record.

So on day eight, when Nie Huaisang is still showing up dutifully, still trying his best to get the movements right, Nie Mingjue becomes concerned. When the lesson is over, he asks his brother to follow him to his office so Nie Huaisang can learn how to help with something, as befits a young master of a prominent sect. Normally, this is the time of the day where Nie Huaisang likes to take time to play with his birds, something he's always particularly enthusiastic about right after returning from Gusu. But this time he follows Nie Mingjue with only the briefest of hesitations.

Slowly going from merely concerned to actively worried, Nie Mingjue decides to see how far he can push this before his brother starts acting like himself again. He gives Nie Huaisang a pile of letters to be sorted through by order of importance according to a number of criteria such as the nature of the problem, the rank of the writer, and their physical location. Night Hunting doesn't interest Nie Huaisang, so it is always a bother for him to think about creatures and remember how dangerous any of them might be. He also can't see the point of keeping track of whether a duke or a magistrate is supposed to be given more consideration. As for geography, Nie Huaisang could get lost inside his own bedroom.

And yet aside from a deep, heartfelt sigh upon being given that task, Nie Huaisang doesn't show any reaction. He just picks a chair, makes some space for himself on the side of his brother's desk, and gets to work. Nie Mingjue sits down as well, ostensibly to check some bills, but most of his attention is on his brother who is never this obedient and helpful.

“Alright, what have you done this time?” Nie Mingjue asks after a while.

Looking up from the letter he's studying, Nie Huaisang stares at him with confusion written all over his face. He could pass as perfectly innocent if Nie Mingjue didn't know him better than that.

“Did you get in trouble in Gusu before leaving?” he insists. “Or on the way home?”

“Why would you think I got in trouble?” Nie Huaisang gasps, the very picture of wounded virtue. Nie Mingjue only has to gesture at the pile of letters for his brother to drop the act. “Oh, that. Well. I've decided that I need to become a better person. I can't keep wasting my youth in frivolous pursuits. The young master of a sect must be proficient in martial arts, in cultivation, and know about running an estate. Isn't that what you're always telling me?”

“And you're never listening.”

Nie Huaisang grimaces slightly at the accusation, but nods.

“I have not always been all that I ought to be,” he sighs, rather dramatically. “But I am a changed man.”

“I'm not sure that you can call yourself a man when you're not even eighteen,”

“A changed person,” Nie Huaisang corrects without missing a beat, glaring at his brother. “I need to improve my public image, or else I'll never get to marry.”

Just like that, Nie Mingjue relaxes. Out of every reasons Nie Huaisang might have had to straighten his act, this is the least worrying one. He's the right age to start thinking about that sort of things after all, and he's apparently made a lot of friends this past year in Gusu.

“Do you have someone specific in mind?” Nie Mingjue asks, trying his best to hide his amusement.

“Maybe I do,” Nie Huaisang grumbles after just a moment of hesitation.

“Boy, girl?”

“Does it really matter? You'll let me have however I want, right?”

There's a surprising note of worry to Nie Huaisang's voice, which Nie Mingjue doesn't like in the least.

“I just ask because it'll take more work to convince the parents of your beloved if it's a boy,” he clarifies, and yet his brother doesn't relax at all. If anything, Nie Huaisang starts frowning and bites his lip. “So it's a boy, and the family is stupid about these things,” Nie Mingjue guesses.

Nie Huaisang sighs and flops over the desk, ruining his careful work with the letters.

“It's hopeless, his parents are stupid!”

“Don't badmouth your future in-laws, Huaisang.”

“It's fine, you'll agree with me when you know who it is, and how much they've messed him up.”

That's a worrying statement, but for now Nie Mingjue decides to treat it as a secondary problem. It's hardly the first time Huaisang develops a crush on someone. When he was eight, he wanted to marry Lan Xichen for a few weeks. At thirteen, he threatened to court Wen Qing who he'd seen once at a conference and to run off with her. Nie Huaisang is older and (allegedly) more mature now, but Nie Mingjue prefers to check how serious this is before calculating an auspicious date.

“Well, tell me about him then,” Nie Mingjue demands. “What unlucky bastard caught your eye this time?”

“Bastard no, definitely not,” Nie Huaisang snorts. “Unlucky... yeah. He's... well, first of all, he's handsome.”

“Goes without saying. You're too vain to settle for someone less than stunning.”

Nie Huaisang sticks out his tongue and sits back up so he can slap his brother's arm.

“Rude, very rude. Anyway, he's the most gorgeous person in the world, especially when he laughs. But he sadly doesn't laugh a lot. He's been trained out of it, I think.”

For a brief moment, Nie Mingjue wonders if his brother is in love with Lan Wangji... but no, Nie Huaisang wouldn't dare to call Lan Qiren stupid.

“He's also pretty nice, when you know him,” Nie Huaisang continues, smiling to himself. “He complains a lot, but he'd offer to study with me and he'd really try to help me. And he's serious and righteous. No matter how many times I offered to let him cheat on tests, he'd always refuse because he wanted to succeed through his own work.”

“You set the bar so low,” Nie Mingjue comments, though at least now he knows how his brother got such good grades. It's almost reassuring, in a twisted way. “Doesn't cheat on tests, somewhat nice to you... I'm not really sold on this.”

“I am,” Nie Huaisang retorts, his smile growing a little warmer. “When he looks at me, it's like he's looking at the moon and wondering how he could ever reach it. Like I'm the most incredible person in his life.”

That does sound like something that would appeal to Nie Huaisang's vanity, though Nie Mingjue wouldn't quite call it enough to get married.

“And what do you see when you look at him?”

For a moment, Nie Huaisang falls silent, his expression turning serious. Nie Mingjue is half getting scared that he's made his brother realise how shallow his feelings are, when Nie Huaisang speaks again.

“I see someone I want to make happy and to protect from everything bad,” he announces, a deep frown on his brow. “I see someone who has been hurt, and it makes me hurt as well, because he's so wonderful, and the people who hurt him are the ones who should have protected him, and it makes me so angry that something like that happened to him. I just... I just want to take him away from everyone who's ever made him feel bad about himself, and bring him somewhere safe, and hold him in my arms until he's never afraid again of what others will say about him. Is that... Is that weird?”

Coming from any other Nie, it would be normal, Nie Mingjue thinks. Their family tends to have a protective streak, even toward people who don't quite need it. It's a little odd to hear this coming from Nie Huaisang, but he is a Nie too, so it shouldn't be a surprise that he loves like one.

“So I'm guessing you want for him to marry into the family, rather than you joining theirs?” Nie Mingjue asks.

To his surprise, Nie Huaisang shakes his head.

“Won't work, his parents won't allow it. Damn, they won't be happy with it even like this. But it's... da-ge, I think I'm really in love with him,” Nie Huaisang sighs, blushing at his own confession. “I didn't mean too, it was supposed to just be a game, but I really love him. If there's got to be someone, I want it to be him.”

“Then you'll have him,” Nie Mingjue promises, like it's an evidence.

To him, it is. Their sect doesn't bother playing the game of alliances through marriages that others do. They're a little more like the Lan in that respect, even if they're not quite as ostentatious about it, and they don't bat an eye at second or even third marriages. So if Nie Huaisang has decided he wants this person, enough so that he's willing to put in effort to improve himself for over an entire week, Nie Mingjue will help him. He is weak to his brother's whims, and even weaker to his rare moments of determination.

“You don't even know who it is,” Nie Huaisang protests. “You have no idea how difficult it'll be... I really might have to run away with him and become a rogue cultivator with him, because his parents are so damn stupid! And also, I'm not sure you'd actually approve if you knew...”

“Is it one of Wen Ruohan's sons?”

The immediate grimace of disgust and betrayal on Nie Huaisang's face make it hard not to laugh.

“I told you he's handsome!” Nie Huaisang gasps. “I have taste, da-ge!”

“Aside from these two, you can marry whoever you like,” Nie Mingjue retorts. “Even other Wens if that's what you want,” he generously adds, knowing full well that there were none in Gusu, and so it's unlikely that his brother's beloved is from the sect that killed their father. Even if he were though, Nie Mingjue would do what's needed to make his brother happy, trusting him to find the one person from that sect who would have any value as a person.

Nie Huaisang is less than impressed by that statement.

“You promise?”

Maybe it really is a Wen, Nie Mingjue wonders. If so, it's too late to back off.

“I promise. Any person you want, any sect, if you say it's a decent person, if that's who you want to spend your life with, I'll do what it takes.”

“I'll hold you to that,” Nie Huaisang threatens with a cheerful smile. “I want to marry Jin Zixuan.”

Nie Mingjue stares at his brother, refusing to believe he's heard that correctly... but no, Nie Huaisang is grinning like he pulled the con of the century, that manipulative little shit. He did, in a way. However much Nie Mingjue hates Wen Ruohan and dreams of slaughtering him, at least that's someone he can somewhat respect. Jin Guangshan, on the other hand...

Nie Mingjue shivers in disgust.

Maybe a Wen would have been better after all.

[sweetestlamb]

Touch My Heart

Summary: The heart wants what it wants. 

Author’s note: I tried really hard to accept the ending of Mr. Queen and I was able to find enjoyment in watching the characters that I had grown to love but after deep consideration, I can’t truly accept what happened to Bong Hwan, it’s just too cruel despite knowing how homosexuality is viewed in Korea. If that was the plan he should have never been made to fall in love with the King and they should have merely been friends working together for the greater good. no romance if it was going to be thrown away in minutes. If they wanted to include hot make out scenes then make it known that Soyong is taking control of her body and this is not what BH wants, but he’s taking the backseat in those moments. Let it be known that they are both in there but the romantic feelings are solely from SY. Don’t let BH wrestle with his sexuality and accept that he loves the King only to leave him with nothing back in his world, he grew from the experience but at the cost of what? His sanity. Anyway, yes I changed my mind. I The couple I fell in love watching was BH and Cheoljongie and that’s probably the only couple, I’ll write about. Maybe when I see more of SY in the spin off I’ll grow fond of her, but to me Cheoljong’s heart belongs to BH and just because SY loves him doesn’t mean she deserves him, the same way Byeong-In didn’t deserve her. 

A month goes by, the most splendid month she's ever spent in the palace. Walking around the castle grounds, there are always jubilant faces; servants greeting her with wide grins instead of the fear she used to evoke, she smiles back now instead of trying to thwart their happiness. It feels like someone has lit a torch in her once pitch black life, what she thought was a pointless existence now suddenly has a meaning and purpose. 

And it's all thanks to him, this mysterious man from the future. Jang Bong Hwan. When she jumped into that lake she had expected death, and nothing more. She didn’t have a plan, she just didn’t want to suffer anymore. Everywhere she turned there were locked doors and there was no way out.  Suicide was a sin but she would gladly accept her punishment, living her life was worst than any hell she could imagine. 

But rather than death she was locked in the deep crevice of her mind.

Seeing and hearing all but unable to say or do anything, a vegetable in her own body. But fright melted away to admiration, this strange man was brave beyond belief; standing up to those who had made her existence a living hell. Despite all the step backs and their many attempts at his life, their life he hadn’t given up finding new ways to fight back every time. Without even trying he had accomplished her one desire in life-to be the owner of the King's heart. She watched in awe as the icy barricade erected around his heart became to thaw, no match for the fiery force of the time traveler.

She watched as they fell in love and although it was her body, they were his feelings. Feelings that had taken time and effort to grow, it was torture to not be the one experiencing that. Then like a gift from the heavens she was back, restored to her rightful place. When she'd awoken to the King's tearful eyes, his mouth wide and twisted in pain she knew she would do anything to make him happy. This was her second chance and she wouldn't waste it.

Everything had changed while she'd been away. Everyone had changed.

Court Lady Choi and Hong Yeon looked at her at times, curious eyes unblinking. As if they were waiting for something, but she didn't know what. She was behaving as the perfect queen, listening the Court Lady's every complaint without agitation, they should have been happy but instead they kept looking confused and longing like there was something that wasn’t quite right. She futilely tried to convince herself it was simply her imagination.

However, it was not solely them. The King was the worst, they shared a bed every night and in the beginning she'd been elated at this occurrence. Until about a week ago, when he'd asked her a question she couldn't answer.

"My Queen, there is another word from your dictionary I need help understanding. What is the meaning of this?" He crawled closer to her, shifting the silk bedding beneath them. Once she got over the pleasure of having him so close, fear set in. 

His finger was underneath a word, she'd never seen before in her life.

Fraud.

She tried to sound it out mentally, taking his syllable separately but it still sounded foreign and she watched his anticipation dissipate as he awaited her reply. He continued to stare intensely at her, his brows furrowing as the seconds dragged by.

"My Queen?" The tone of his voice unsettled her, he looked desperate for a reply and dread settled in her stomach. She wasn't who he thought she was and the look on his eyes made it evident, knowing the truth would irreversibly change their relationship.

So she did something unthinkable.

Clutching at her stomach, she feigned pain watching him push the book aside to grab her, wrapping her in his embrace as he rubbed her back. Whispering soothing sounds into her hair.  She pressed her face into his neck, miserably. This was the life she'd yearned for, why were things still not as they should be?

She'd fallen asleep, too shamed to allow him to hold her that night. He hadn't tried to change her mind, rolling over and turning his back to her. It felt like they had moved back to step one. 

She'd kept her distance following that incident, needing a moment to process her thoughts without her love for him clouding her mind. He hadn't tried to visit her either, instead sending letters to check on her and their unborn child. She felt the wall being built and she didn't know what to do to stop its insurrection.

Sneaking away without her court ladies noticing she went for a late night stroll, hoping to clear her thoughts of the King, Her luck must have been running out because instead she stumbled onto a conversation that was not meant for her ears. 

Her intention hadn't been to eavesdrop but she couldn't walk away, it piqued her interest too much.

"The King seems different these days, wouldn't you agree?" The usual jovial voice of Special Director Hong was serious as he asked the question, using a cloth to clean a long gleaming gun as he stared up at the King's brother.

The prince stopped sharpening his sword for a moment to consider the question, after a long pause he nodded in agreement.

"Yes. He seems troubled and he has not been visiting her highness. Each day he sighs while holding a strange book. He seems lost.".

"What do you think could be bothering him? He has everything he's ever dreamed of. The kingdom is doing better than ever and he's expecting a child. This should be the happiest moment of his life."

The Prince sighs shrugging before replying in a hushed voice, "I've not seen him like this since he learned that Hwa Jin was not the one from the well. He acted this way then too."

It feels like a dagger through her chest, stumbling back she rushes back to Daejojeon hall with her heart in shambles. What am I doing? She feels nauseous at the comparison, she was fooling the King and she doesn’t know how much longer she can continue this farce. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

To say the Queen is acting strange is an understatement, she is acting like someone completely different. He waited for her to drop the honorifics, thinking she was teasing him and this was meant to be a joke but she didn’t, instead she she began acting like a proper Queen and easily following the suggestions of her Court Lady to both of their dismay. What was wrong with her? Had she hit her head and forgotten that she was meant to be a loveable headache and not a soothing summer breeze? 

She's still the same beautiful woman, looking at her evokes the same lust and admiration but speaking to her confuses him; in that she no longer uses words he cannot understand and her behavior is that of a trained Queen. He’s confused but her lack of confusion. She's being extremely consistent and he's never been more perplexed and thrown off kilter in his life.

He finds himself yearning for something he cannot name. Looking at her in the hopes he'll find what he's looking for and instead of a mischievous grin or an arrogant smirk, he's always greeted with the same serene smile. It's pretty but it's not the smile he's grown to love these past few months. It reminds him of the Soyong he'd met during that rain shower, someone he didn't know but found appealing.

They haven't slept together, despite sharing a bed. All of his advances have gone unnoticed, where as before it simply took them being in the same room to ignite a flame in both of their loins. Once he'd followed the Queen into a pantry, hearing her grumbling about nosy head chefs but once she noticed his presence, it only took seconds before they were ripping at each other's clothing. They'd been missing each other all week and he was practically starved for her. It was clear the feeling was exceptionally mutual.  He'd taken her against the wall, hard with her egging him on and whispering pure filth in his ears.

"Fuck! Yes right there, don't be gentle. Fuck me until I can't walk, come on harder!"

He had no idea what that word she said meant, fuck but he was powerless against her commands flipping her around to pound into her from behind, a position that she had taught him. She  wailed rocking back shamelessly  to meet his harsh thrusts, the sound of her nails scratching the wall making his skin hot. Skrrrrrrrr. They slammed into each other until his legs were tense from the position and she wordlessly took over, separating them with a loud wet squelch before pushing him to the ground and riding him like a wild stallion. He had watched helpless as she bounced on top, her breasts jumping freely as she shoved him deep inside of her tight grip. When they were finished, he was dazed and breathless. She'd looked at him with barely opened eyes, slowly licking her lips looking like sin personified before patting his cheek.

"I needed that. Thanks for screwing my brains out." She barked slipping off his softening cock, he watched mesmerized as his spent dripped from her precious place. 

More words he didn't fully comprehend but her satisfaction was obvious and that was all he needed. He'd preened under her, feeling himself swell again at her words.

She raised one eyebrow at the sudden press of hard skin in her thigh.

"Come visit me tonight. We need to make up for lost time."

They had made love until his cock couldn't get hard anymore and she'd collapsed next to him, splayed with her breasts bitten red and his seed leaking from her well used hole.

Something had changed but he couldn't place what it was exactly. He tried brushing it off but it gnawed at him until he couldn't hold it in and he'd broken down and asked her about the Queen's dictionary. He'd purposely chosen the word knowing exactly what it was. His Queen had used it several times to describe the corrupt members of the royal court. They'd all been frauds, living a lie wolf in sheep’s clothing. 

He thought that would put his mind at ease but instead it had been the opposite; her hesitation solidified his fear, there was something afoot and he had to know what it was.

He sighs stroking at the book, he always keeps by his side.

"What am I missing?"

Before he can get too lost in his thoughts the head eunuch enters the room, bowing all the way.

"Your majesty, the Queen has come to visit you."

He looks up at the announcement, his usual excitement doused by his doubts but his heart does lurch at her arrival. His Queen did not care about propriety, coming to this chambers at such an indecent hour was a great sign. That was more like the Queen he'd grown to love. Maybe he had been overthinking and there was nothing amiss after all. 

"Let her in." He straightens up, moving the scrolls to the side to give her his full attention.

He watches as she bows gracefully, before sitting down. Far away from him. A ball forms in his throat, he'd gotten used to sharing his space with her; and sharing his table during their late night talks. She didn't appear to have any intentions of joining him at the surface despite the constant occurrence of that happening the months prior. He tries to but he couldn't keep the disappointment off his face.

"My Queen what brings you here so lat--"

"I'm not who you think I am." She interrupts, staring down at the floor instead of looking into his eyes. Strange again, she was typically so good at maintaining eye contact at times even unnerving him. 

He tenses at her exclamation, mouth falling open in shock. What did she mean? Who else could she possibly be if not his Queen?

"What are you saying? Are you feeling sick?"

She ignores his inquires, "You've noticed. That I'm different. I can see the way you look at me, the way everyone looks at me, like you're all waiting for something. I'm not that person."

He tilts his head, trying to understand her meaning but he can't decipher what she's trying to say. He tries to reconcile the two versions of the Queen he's come to know, the wild untamed Queen he fell in love with and this poised and tactful Queen he was a stranger to. The two don't make sense in his mind.

"The person you fell in love with..."

He stares at her intensely almost scared to hear the rest of her sentence but knowing he must, his biggest fear was living a lie and not having control over his fate. Holding his breath he impatiently waits.

"That wasn't me. Do you remember what I said to you the day after I woke up?"

He storms his memory trying to recall her words oh so long ago. Then it hits him, those crazy words coming out of her mouth.

I'm really a man. From the future.

He had paid her no attention than, barely wanting to be in her presence much less listening to her tall tales about something that couldn't be true. She was clearly a woman and the second claim held no possibility at all. But they'd had conversations later too about those same ideas, right in the spot he was sitting now.

She'd taught him about things he could only dream of- democracy, voting, people born with spoons, even people who loved others who shared the same sex. He'd been confused about the last one but she had explained it simply, "Love is love. Who cares what they have between their legs?" Worded in such a manner, he'd found it impossible to argue with her. Love was indeed, love. 

"Are you saying that this was true? How can that be? You are here right now. Who are you then?"

She sighed finally looking at him, face cloaked in sadness.

"I'm Kim Soyong, the person you are in love with is Jang Bong Hwan. He was controlling this body after I jumped into the lake. He's the one that helped you and he's the one that was willing to die for you."

He gasps leaning back in his chair, before bringing up a hand to cover his face, scrubbing wordlessly at his skin.

"I know this is shocking but I couldn't lie to you anymore, you kept looking for him and it's clear I'm not the one you want." Her voice is soft, barely a whisper and guilt spreads at her assessment- she's right and he's guilty that he can't deny it.

A sad smile fills her face, "Don't feel bad. You didn't do anything wrong. I should have fought harder to have the life I wanted, I thought death was my only option but I should have chosen to live. I didn't love myself enough to fight."

He's suddenly transported to that night by the lake, her eyes glowing with tears as she begged him to love her, to understand her. He hadn't been able to see that moment clearly then, assuming it was a command and that she was another evil member of the Kim Clan. She'd loved him but he couldn't see it then too blinded by his thirst for vengeance. 

But he sees it now. Clear as daylight.

"I'm sorry."

She seems paralyzed by his unexpected apology but before she can cut him off he continues, "I'm sorry I couldn't understand you. I was too blinded by revenge to see you that you were a victim too. I should have tried to understand you." He owes her at least that much, but he can't say that he wishes things were different. It would be falsehood. If she hadn't done that unspeakable act of throwing herself into the lake he would have never met Jang Bong Hwan, the man he loved.

It was selfish but he wouldn't have changed anything, it was all worth it for those fleeting moments they spent together.

"Is he gone now? Back to where he belonged? Is he....happy?" He's broken at the idea that he'll never see him again, they never even got to say good bye. Was he alone now with no one to comfort him? Did he struggle to fall asleep too? It hurts that he will never know.

"I think so."

That has to be enough then, he has to accept things for what they are. It was against the rules of time that they crashed into each other's orbit, fates hand had taken a wrong turn and this was the Queen he was supposed to be with, he understood her now. He didn't hate her. He could grow to accept her and his fate and move on, he had to. 

But his heart rips remembering her- no him wrapping the scarf around his neck, the first time he saw the embroidered CJ and how it brought him to tears. His grunts as he carried him from the well and let him hold him until he fell asleep. His face as he'd reached for him after the explosion, the distress and panic. How was he supposed to forget any of those moments? How was he supposed to go on living without Jang Bong Hwan? 

"Thank you for telling me."

"That's not all I came here to tell you."

His head spins, nervous about what other information she could possibly have to tell him. He still hasn't processed this, both that he's been in love with a man and that he'll never see this man again.

"I want to give him my body."

All the whirling in his brain shuts down at her utterance. Finally, his mind is silent.

"What?"

She repeats with more confidence, "I want to bring him back. I want to give him back this body."

He stifles his glee at the suggestion, knowing that he can't allow her to do such a thing. This was her body, her life, how could he allow her to throw herself into the lake again? He was a better man now, he wouldn't stand by as she took her life, not this time.

"No. I can't let you do that. My happiness is not worth more than your life, I will get past this I promise you. I will stop looking at you with expectations, I'll accept who you are." He will grow to think of her fondly, she's the mother of his child he will make space for her in his heart.

He watches as a single tear streams down her cheek, "Can you promise that you'll grow to love me, the way you love him?"

He's frozen at the question, he stares wide eyed at her. Immediately knowing the truth, avoiding her eyes as he stares at his palms. He can't make that promise when his heart only beats for one, he stays silent knowing that his silence speaks volumes.

"Would things have been different if I hadn't been from the Kim Clan?” She asks him again, the question that had tipped her over the edge and he feels all the regret and guilt in his body and this time he answers honestly.

"Yes. They might have, I could have accepted you better. But I love him now, I wouldn't change anything because it all brought me to him. I can't apologize for how things went." He knows those aren't the words she longs to hear but he can't give those to her, he can't accept her feelings.

"Maybe in a different universe, we could have been something more." She says heartbroken, face wet with tears now. 

Maybe. But he doesn't want to find out. He wants this universe with the one who holds his heart.

She bows before standing, "I've made up my mind. I'm doing this for myself as well, I can't live my life as a shell. I want to find my own happiness too."

He watches as she walks out the room, never looking back.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

He doesn't understand her full intention until days later, he watches puzzled as Hong Yeon, the Queen's most loyal court maid comes barreling towards him. Her face is red with exertion and something that looks like terror. He feels the same emotions coming to life in his body as he watches her pant and struggle to speak. 

"What's wrong? Speak! What happened?" He commands, impatiently waiting for a reply. 

"Your majesty, it's the Queen." She cries, a cascade of tears falling from her eyes and he doesn’t wait for any clarification before he bolts off to Daejojeon hall, hoping that he's not too late. He couldn't afford to lose anyone else.

[akatsuki-shin]

Review: Scum Villain’s Self-saving System (SVSSS)

Notes:

(Very) long post ahead

Contains spoiler

This is my personal review and does not represent the entire audience, you are free to agree or not agree with what I’ve written here

Feel free to reply/send me a message if there are things you want to discuss

Summary:

SVSSS tells the story of Shen Yuan, an avid web novel reader - particularly the stallion genre - who died suddenly from food-related incident after having just finished reading a famous (yet controversial) web-novel "Proud Immortal Demon Way".

Upon his wake, he discovered that he had been transmigrated into the world of that very novel, moreover into the body of the story's most-hated scum villain, Shen Qingqiu.

In his previous life, Shen Yuan had frequently criticized the "Proud Immortal Demon Way" and its author, "Airplane Shooting towards the Sky", for he found the web novel full of wasted potentials. Now having been sent to live in that novel's story, a mysterious system assigned him with a mission to fix the very plot he had been denouncing - and of course, to save himself from the tragic end of the original Shen Qingqiu, who was fated to be mutilated into a human stick by the story's protagonist, Luo Binghe, his own disciple.

STORY: 7/10

I personally have not read a lot of "isekai" stories. However, what makes SVSSS interesting to me, compared to most transmigration stories I've seen in the past, is because the main character was not thrown into a completely strange, unknown world, but rather into the universe of a novel he had been closely following up until the very last second of his life.

And what's more? He does not have complete freedom in modifying the story however he wants, but supervised by a mysterious system that will reward him for correct decisions, and punish him for wrong choices - with being deported to his original world as the ultimate punishment should his points fall below the set limit (a.k.a. he would really lose his life because he is already dead in his original world).

The fact that Shen Yuan, now living as Shen Qingqiu, possessing complete knowledge of the original story, yet still unable to foresee what butterfly effect his actions will cause to the plot and characters is perhaps the most appealing aspect of this novel.

Shen Qingqiu in his previous life was no different than us - a normal, modern young man from the 21st century. His thoughts and opinions on the situation, the way he reacts on certain matters, his internal monologues are all realistic and easily relatable. It feels as if I myself have partly become Shen Qingqiu, as well, looking at how the story progresses from a first person point of view, because if I were to be in his shoes, I would probably react in the exact same way as a modern person thrown into an ancient fantasy world.

Nevertheless, this "omniscient reader" point of view is not without a flaw. Although Shen Qingqiu himself is gradually blending in, accepting his new life in the ancient cultivation world and no longer seeing the other characters as mere "fictional characters", because his mindset is that of a modern man, I find it difficult for myself as the reader to perceive the world of SVSSS as an actual, stand-alone world. Until the very last page of the story, I still feel like I'm looking at a fictional world, feeling detached to the universe and characters because I'm not "living" in it.

Another aspect that I think could've been improved is the romance development between Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe. I have full confidence that post-story Shen Qingqiu loves Luo Binghe with all his heart, but I seriously have no idea when and how he reached that point.

In the first half of the story, upon having accepted his new life as Shen Qingqiu, his feeling towards Luo Binghe is more like fondness and endearment. Perhaps he does like the character Luo Binghe, and considering that he, along with the rest of the web novel's readers, hated the original Shen Qingqiu to the core, of course he wants to treat Luo Binghe and the other characters better (otherwise, how could he save himself from that nightmarish fate as a human stick).

Later on, he learns of his mistake, how he could've made better decisions, and tried to understand Luo Binghe better, redeeming himself. Perhaps his love towards Luo Binghe began to grow along this path, but I honestly don't see it being told to me, as the reader. All of a sudden he is willing enough to "offer" himself to calm the maddened Luo Binghe. He's been proclaiming himself as a straight man all this time and never once did I see him agreeing with himself that he is going to accept his feelings for Luo Binghe. When I read this later part, I feel like I've just jumped over a huge chunk of development. Because up until that point, Shen Qingqiu still only gives me the feeling of a teacher who adores and cares for a special disciple of his.

All in all, if I were to summarized the plot, I think SVSSS is an interesting, curious story. The fact that Shen Qingqiu was tasked to fix the original novel's flaws makes me want to continue reading for as long as I can. What change is he going to make? What effect will be caused and what chain of events will follow? Furthermore, if you're looking for comedy, then you've come to the right place. With an internet-literate modern man experiencing living in an ancient, fantasy novel, Shen Qingqiu's reactions will never be boring to see. Even the banters and exchanges between characters are so realistic to the point that it is almost possible to imagine them visually.

Also, BingQiu is cute, I take no criticism.

CHARACTERS: 6/10

The distribution of that overall score of "6" is actually as follows:

3 --> Shen Qingqiu

1 --> Shen Jiu

1 --> Luo Binghe + Yue Qingyuan

0.5 --> Liu Qingge

0.5 --> Everybody else

Notice that in the previous section, I barely talk about any other character than Shen Qingqiu? It's not just because he is the main character, but because the other characters are seriously that un-interesting. In fact, I regret to say that personally, I think the characters are this novel's weakest point.

Or to be more precise, the characters' depth.

Shen Qingqiu by himself is a great character. He is calm, logical, knows when and where to put his "omniscient reader" knowledge to good use. He is effortlessly hilarious even if he himself doesn't realize it, but at the same time, despite the mountain of curses he often uses, he is still a good person at heart. I think he is the sole reason that the story could remain interesting until the very end.

But sometimes he is a bit too ideal, almost always having the correct solution and/or countermeasure to every situation even if the plot has changed massively from the original web novel that he knows. Especially when it turns out that he has discovered a way to revive himself after self-destructing at Huayue City, it makes his initially heartbreaking sacrifice less......touching. Because it feels as if he's been scheming this to be freed from the current ordeal, maybe to escape the system, as well.

Furthermore, no matter how much of an expert he was of the "Proud Immortal Demon Way" universe, he still just passed away and was transmigrated into a foreign world. Although the system initially banned him from being OOC, other than some panicky internal monologue, there was almost no trace of him looking distraught when being faced with the unthinkable situation.

Plus, Shen Yuan was different from Airplane Shooting towards the Sky who, even if he were to return to his original world, would have nobody waiting for him. The description of his family was pretty clear. Not only he comes from a well-off household, his family seems to be quite a happy and harmonious one (especially how he used to dote on his younger sister). How come there is not one single moment when he thinks about the family he has left behind and simply carries on with his new life as if nothing happened?

Now Luo Binghe, the second main lead and the one paired with Shen Qingqiu.

Before he fell into the Eternal Abyss, his character actually seems pretty solid. But post-darkening, I don't know why I can't get a good grasp of his character.

The "clingy, crybaby boyfriend" aspect is pretty clear, no complaint there (although the moments of his crying feels too comical for me). Other than that, I don't really feel the "powerful Demon Lord" vibe from him.

Yes, there are descriptions of how powerful he is, how frightening he can be. But it's just not solid enough for me. I understand that he is supposed to be a character with unstable mental, but there are simply not enough part where he is shown to be a proper, powerful Demon Lord because he keeps breaking down each and every single time. The "glass heart maiden" aspect isn't bad, but when it's used in an overly comical way, the character simply loses the charm he's supposed to have.

Even Yue Qingyuan, who's only a minor character, had such a strong charm that slaps you with the biggest plot twist in the whole story when it was revealed (to us, the readers) who he actually is.

Ironically, the original Luo Binghe (Bing-ge) was able to present the character's true image and complexity even if he only appear in less than 10% of the entire story.

And even more ironically, the original Shen Qingqiu a.k.a. Shen Jiu, is probably the most complex character to have ever existed in there (and he only appears in, what, a couple of extra chapters).

(You know what? If MXTX just goes with the original Luo Binghe x Shen Qingqiu, including all of their complexity, I think the development, conflict, and resolution could've been more deep and complex - but yeah, it ain't gonna be "Scum Villain's Self Saving System)

Liu Qingge is okay and actually quite lovable. It's just that I feel it's too easy for him to appear anytime, anywhere there is a problem, as if he's some easy way out.

Other than those I've mentioned above, I literally don't have anything to comment on the other characters because... I don't even know if there's anything to comment. They really come and go just like that and leave no big impression on me.

TECHNICAL ASPECTS: 6/10

This here is basically just some technical things that were a bit unfortunate, because if only they were improved, the story could've been better.

1. The story is clearly written from Shen Qingqiu's point of view, but it will suddenly switch to Luo Binghe's inner thoughts every now and then, making it inconsistent.

2. Description of time and environment. Sometimes it's really difficult to tell in what kind of place the scene is happening, whether it was day or night, whether the characters still remain in the same place or have move elsewhere. Transition when switching locations is also not described enough.

3. As much as I love the story, I feel like it's progressing too fast without any significant crisis. It just ends like that with no massive ordeal or mystery to be solved. I think this is related to Shen Qingqiu's "omniscient reader" point of view because it makes me feel like "hmm yeah, it's just another part of the story, they're going to go through this just fine"

Still, I understand that this is MXTX's first novel. In fact, most of the aforementioned issues (including the characters) have undergone immense improvement in her second novel (MDZS), so I don't think I have anything to worry about.

OVERALL SCORE: 6.3/10

It's worth to read, really. If you just want to enjoy a cool, funny, and cute "isekai" story, I can definitely recommend this. But don't expect some deep philosophical shit, because half of this novel is made of shitpost (I shit you not).

Moral of the story though?

See how market demand kills content creators' freedom and creativity.

Airplane Shooting towards the Sky, the author of the controversial stallion "Proud Immortal Demon Way" literally told Shen Qingqiu at the final chapter of the main story:

He's actually written deep, aesthetic stories before, but they were all unpopular. Only when he wrote this harem novel full of fan-service - disregarding plot depth, plot holes, cheap characterizations - did he finally gain popularity and was able to obtain sufficient income to feed himself.

He was grateful to Shen Qingqiu for "messing" up the plot of his novel, changing it into how it is now, because it allows everything he originally wanted to write - but couldn't - to come true.

In previous chapters, he also said that he actually wanted to make the original Shen Qingqiu into a three-dimensional, more complex characters, but the netizens didn't appreciate it and were complaining instead. Hence he was forced to make the original Shen Qingqiu into a plain old scum villain with no redeeming quality at all - even though in his original script, this character has a complex background that causes his current known personality.

Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua might be talking about it in their usual, funny bantering, but who dares to say that this isn't an issue being faced by almost all content creators in the whole world?

How many content creators have been forced to sacrifice the creativity value and quality of their work in order to satisfy the taste of majority?

How many content creators have been made to revise their works by editors in order to fit into a certain agenda or market trend?

Unless you're a massively popular creator or a powerful individual, chances are you will never have the chance to create a content you truly want to make for a living.

In any case, there may be other authors who are better than MXTX in this world, but I love her works because despite the fictional content, the comedy, the silliness, etc, there are still at least one aspect that reflects the situation of the real, current world, and when you realize it, the realization can be quite a slap to the face like "hey, wait a minute, she's right you know?" See less

[deejadabbles]

Crimson Portrait (Seto Kaiba x Reader)

So as I said in my drabble a couple days ago, I’m wanting to write some short fics to get back into the swing of things and I wanted to gift said drabbles to some mutual I adore. Next on my list is @ohyema​ the top Vampire and Yugioh enthusiast on this site! I’m sure you’ve all seen her amazing art floating around already, but in case not please check out her stuff (and reblog the heck outta it!), the way she colors her pieces and adds dramatic flair is something I aspire to tbh <3 

For this fic I decided to spread my proverbial wings and write Seto for a change (don’t get used to this though, Kaiba fans, I’m still not a Kaiba stan lol) and I hope you enjoy our dark, mysterious blood thirsty, CEO ;)

You gulped, eyes traveling up the metal and glass of the building as though counting each towering floor would make it any less intimidating. It wasn’t just the size, of course, it was the marble path spread out in front of the entry, it was the literal red carpet on the other side of doors- it was the gold etching and suited man around said doors! You found yourself clutching the portfolio case under your arm even tighter to your chest. Subtle lights brightened the edges of the building, though you were sure they were meant to make it shine like a beacon of wealth at night, rather than give it any cheer or levity. 

This was by far the fanciest place you had ever been and the doorman casting a glance at you made you tug at your clothes for probably the seventeenth time since heading here. The outfit was fine, you reminded yourself; professional, but simple. Nothing that would impede your movements and work, all while still being close enough to your true fashion to offer you some self assurance. And you needed every ounce of self assurance possible right now.

After taking in a long, deep breath and straightening your posture, you started for the door. Despite the high chance that he was suspicious of you, the doorman pulled on the finely crafted handle and allowed you entry with a polite bow, nothing less. You weren’t sure if you were supposed to acknowledge him, but you returned the silent respect automatically. Then again, it didn’t really matter if you broke etiquette, you weren’t the high-class that lived here anyway.

The lobby was just as fancy as the outside. Your shoes clicked on more marble floors, and rich colored walls wearing frames of fine art surrounded you. There was a large wooden desk to one side, and the receptionist behind it clocked you as a non-resident, because she instantly greeted you with a “can I help you, miss?”

“Um- yes! Yes, I’m here to visit Mr. Seto Kaiba?” you followed the claim with your name and silently praying that was all you needed. The only way you were getting passed the front desk was if Kaiba (or his assistant) left your name with the attendant.

With a polite smile plastered on her face, she nodded and typed something quick on a computer obscured by the large backing of the desk. “Ah yes, Mr. Kaiba is expecting you. Please take the center elevator, he’s on floor 40.”

She waved her hand to the other side of the lobby, where three elevators with doors as clean and reflective as new mirrors stood. You gave her a quick thank you before following her instructions. The inside of the elevators were just as polished, the metallic sides reflecting your image. 

As the floors passed by, you checked to make sure the journey here hadn’t ruffled your appearance any, tucking hairs back into place, swiping your hand over the pristine portfolio briefcase, tugging at your hems yet again. You almost jumped when the elevator dinged, announcing your arrival at the top floor. You waited a few heart beats, long enough to start worrying you had the wrong floor- until it finally slid open.

The apartment was dimly lit, all the ceiling lights set to a dull, intimate glow one might see in a fancy bar. Then a different wave of nerves overcome you, hopefully this guy didn’t have the wrong idea of what service you were providing. 

“Are you going to come in, or continue wasting my time?”

You did jump that time, especially with how impatient the deep rumble of a voice sounded. With hurried steps you entered the apartment and ventured down the short hallway, following the voice. The hallway quickly opened into an expansive room, a couch, coffee table, TV, and desk on one side, and a kitchen, breakfast bar, dining table, and wet bar on the other. On the living room side, where the desk’s back sat, there was a large floor-to-ceiling window, the curtains pulled back to reveal the spiderweb of city lights and life beyond. 

Of course, what really drew your attention was the man standing in front of the window.

He hadn’t turned from the view to look at you let alone greet you, hands tucked in his pockets as he watched the pulsing city life. He wore a white suit, with a blue button-up shirt and a dark blue tie, making for nice, clean lines for your portrait. Seto Kaiba. A household name in most countries, the secretive CEO of one of the biggest companies in the world who’s fame for innovation was only matched by his notorious hermit tendencies. He appeared on magazines often enough, but many pointed out that they were likely deliberate presentations to the world. Deliberate to alleviate rumors because, besides them, neither Kaiba nor his younger brother were ever seen out in public and even rather rarely in their own corporate buildings.

You weren’t exactly someone who bought into that celebrity gossip, but it was still rather surreal seeing him in person like this.

“You can set up on the other side of the desk,” he started, still not turning from the window. “This is the background I want, I expect you to be able to handle it considering the portraits on your online portfolio.”

You tried not to gulp, “Of course, but it may take me an extra session or two to get the details.”

“As long as it’s done before I return to Domino,” he answered in a drawl, then, finally turned to face you. He placed a slender hand on the back of the leather desk chair, and you quickly made yourself busy with setting up. 

You felt that nerve-wracking, almost burning sensation of eyes watching you, and you could just imagine the icy blue of the eyes, remembering how Kaiba’s gaze always pierced through the magazine covers and into the viewer. Instead of thinking of how hawk-like he was watching you, you focused on how challenging and fun it will be to capture that quality in your painting.

Once your blank canvas was set up and your tools were spread out, ready for use, you finally locked eyes with the man. “I’m ready when you are, Mr. Kaiba, please take whatever pose you feel most comfortable with.” You had to ignore the shiver that ran down your spine, especially when he held your gaze for a moment more before finally shifting his stance.

After some verbal redirecting so his pose looked the best and got the key parts of the cityscape behind him, you actually got started on the canvas. Tokyo Tower stood like a sentinel behind him, making for nice framing, and he was a natural at posing, of course choosing one that was strong and commanding to the onlookers. 

It was quiet as you worked, he wasn’t playing any music, nor offering any chitchat. It was only then that you realized just how alone you two were in the penthouse, didn’t rich dudes like him have platoons of bodyguards?

Within the free seconds you had between maping your piece, your mind wandered back to the rumors surrounding the Kaiba family and their reclusiveness. Tales of Kaiba insisting on specially tinted windows for all his buildings and never being seen in the light of day led to some interesting ones. Mostly conspiracies about him being the secret illegitimate son of royalty, and inheriting hemophilia from said parentage. Now, noting how pale he looked against the background of vibrant city lights, you could slightly understand buying into that rumor. 

Not only that, but, the more glances you took while working, the more you noticed just how...sickly the man looked. His cheeks were a bit sunken, made worse by the dark circles under his eyes And on top of that, there was a sore redness around his eyes that was seeming to get worse every time you peered passed your canvas. None of his magazine pictures ever showcased these...unwell qualities. He must just be tired, you decided, being a CEO likely didn’t allow for much sleep, and here he was posing for a portrait late at night.   

You were just finishing up his outline when you decided attempt conversation. If he didn’t like it he would just tell you to shut up, after all.

“I was actually pretty surprised when you hired me, most people don’t bother with traditional portraits any more.”

There was awhile of silence, where Kaiba’s eyes flickered towards you before staring off to the other side of the room again. Your were just taking the mental note not to try a conversation again, when-

“It was my brother’s idea. I always look ahead, and cut out traditions and old ways that no longer serve me. But, he made the point that there are some classics still worth something. Besides, improving things like canvas portraits with modern settings was appealing.”

You found yourself smiling and nodding along, “Yeah, I really like the idea of having the city in the background, it’ll make for a really unique piece!” 

After picking your next brush, you peered over to refresh your mental image of the scene, only to find him staring at you again. His expression was rather indecipherable, and though his eyes were almost hooded the rest of his features were as blank as an empty page. Your heart was practically beating in your ears as you stayed transfixed in his gaze, which you swore were actually hued in red now, instead of solid icy blue.

A sound similar to a squeak, and you finally broke the contact to flick your gaze down to the hand resting on the back of the desk chair. His fingers were a sickly white, seeming to have no blood in them as his nails dug into the leather with a grip so strong he might be on the verge of puncturing the fabric.

Feeling that nervous heat again you quickly averted your gaze back to the canvas, even going as far as to shuffle behind it just slightly as though you could hide.

That didn’t help, much like when you were setting up, you could feel his gaze burning into you. Maybe he was offended, upset that you stared back at him, but he had no right to judge considering he was staring first! Seriously what was with this guy?

You weren’t sure how much time passed after that, it felt like an eternity but you were sure it wasn’t much longer than a half hour or so. You only stole glances at him when you absolutely felt like you had to refresh your mental image of the scene before giving another stroke of the brush. You avoided any eye contact even then and managed to skim over his face only once, during which you noted any previous color in his cheeks had vanished completely, but that was beside the point. You were just telling your brain to stop conjuring up theory’s on why he looked so sick and biting your tongue to keep from asking if he was alright when-

“We’re done for the night, you can continue tomorrow.”

If the sudden dismissal wasn’t enough to snap your attention back to him, the heavy breath within the words was. Your eyes snapped up to Kaiba and before you even registered his movement you were jumping from a harsh thud! He had removed his hand from the chair so swiftly that it spun and thudded into the desk with enough force to crack furniture of a lesser quality. 

Now Kaiba was pacing around his desk, gaunt jaw clenched so tight he might very well chip a tooth. Not wanting to argue with someone who apparently had the mood swings of an angst-ridden teen, you planned to start packing up without a word. However, just as he passed the coffee table, Kaiba took in a sharp breath and doubled over so fast he barely caught himself on the glass top.

Empathy won in a heartbeat and before you could reconsider you were by his side saying a frantic, “Are you okay? Mr. Kaiba you look sick, should I call a-?”

The concerned questions died in your throat and so too did a scream when something too red and too luminous to be eyes flashed up at you. The next moment something was wrapping around the prison that held your words and scream. The third moment your back was slammed none too gently into a wall you could have sworn was half a room away and a body colder than any you had felt before was pressing into you.

Eyes wide, body held still with fear, all you could do was take in a few shallow breaths as Kaiba’s mouth hovered over your neck. One heart thundering in your ears, two heartbeats, three-

But nothing happened. 

The hand pressing into your clavicle hadn’t tightened, and the mouth hovering dangerously close had not moved in for the kill (proverbial or otherwise), rather, Kaiba’s body seemed to be as frozen as yours.

Or at least you thought it was. A moment later you finally registered that Kaiba was shaking. Not violently by any means, hell, it was barely notable, but he was definitely shaking, as if he was trying to keep sickly shivers from wracking his body. His other hand moved up to grip your upper arm then, and his fingers were tight but not quite painful as he held you there.

“I shouldn’t have kept our appointment.”

The words were so shocking to your reeling mind that you almost didn’t register them. They were said lowly, in something akin to a growl or rumble.

“I should have told you to get out the moment I-”

Something on the other side of the condo sounded, a ding you had heard when first arriving on the floor, and not a second later footsteps were thundering.

“Seto!”

The youthful voice almost snapped you back to your sense enough to move, maybe even break free of his hold, but in that same moment  you felt something sharp graze the skin of your neck as Kaiba’s face turned to meet the newcomer.

Thankfully your recovered control wasn’t needed, as the moment Kaiba locked sites on the newcomer, he released his hold on you. In a fearful blink as you recovered your balance, you saw Kaiba make his way across the room faster than any human possible could.

That’s when you saw who had intervened; Mokuba Kaiba, the youth of the Kaiba empire. He was looking pale and worried, looking between his brother and you as Seto snatching something out of his hands. 

You caught the sight of something encasing red as Seto tore the package open, but he halted long enough to growl another command, “You need to leave, now.”

Your legs were finally able to move again, when you caught site of something that confirmed the impossible theories running though your head: sharp, pearly fangs were flashing between Seto’s lips.

[ladyanput]

Ah lee lee, my favourite internet cousin I need a fic saltier than the Dead Sea Alya salt (in the Daminette universe uwu) maybe at a high school reunion? Or seeing the couple on TV OR she accuses marinette of sleeping with Damian just to get jumpstart her career (she says this on Twitter) and a lot of people are like ‘hmmm ok, sure honey’

I'm in the mood for salt tonight, so let's work on this one, from my favourite cousin.

---

A high school reunion was always an interesting affair. Some people didn't show up because they hated high school, thinking it's hell incarnate and never want to revisit it again. Some go just to catch up and see how old friends are doing.

But, honestly, most go and show off how successful they are in life, trying to be the best amongst their peers.

At least, that was the case, many noticed, for Miss Bustier's former class. Many people who had been in the same year at them stared as they entered, greeting their former classmates loudly and bragging about their accomplishments.

But anyone could see most of them were blowing smoke. They all knew the stories from forever ago, it had been a running gag for many of the students at DuPont.

Lila Rossi told someone that she'd get you in contact with someone in the industry to planned on entering, when you heard nothing, she'd feign that they were busy or some bullshit like that, then when you didn't get the job or internship because you didn't bother even applying, thanks to you being gullible enough to believe Lila's lies, she'd go about convincing you that the company or whatever was too blind to see how amazing you were, and that you deserved better.

It was a cycle. And it was hilarious because now most of that former class were at low end jobs. Kim wasn't the Olympic swimmer he had dreamt of being; instead he taught swimming lessons at the local pool. Max never became the scientific genius he thought he would be, no,he worked at the school as a tech teacher. Most of that class were in the same scenario, save for the people who hadn't listened to Lila's bullshit. Juleka was a famous model, her wife Rose was the lead spokesperson in a field dedicating to taking care of and curing sick children. Nathaniel and his husband Marc had a bestselling comic book series.

Even Nino made a decent living, working as a DJ and a an upcoming director.

When Lila arrived along with Alya in a stretch limousine, everyone watching pitifully as Lila's followers from high school quickly grovelled to her, as she went on about marrying Damian Wayne, everyone knowing he had a wife, but the wedding had been so private, rarely anyone knew who she was.

"My dearest Dami would be here, but he's away in Japan right now, an important contract for Wayne Enterprises needed some of his expertise." Lila went on to say. She had her signature hair style still, making many grimace at the sight of it.

"But you promise that I can still interview him,right?" Alya spoke up, the past ten years having been the hardest on her. She had gained weight, mostly around her middle. She was squinting, as she had abandoned her glasses, due to Lila saying real reporters never wore glasses, as many people found people without them more appealing, there for more willing for an interview, but Alya couldn't afford contacts, so she was stubborn with being basically blind. And she dyed her hair blonde.

Enough said.

But there was one person they were eagerly waiting to see. And when she arrived, she didn't disappoint in the least.

Marinette strode into the gymnasium, looking as stunning as she always had been. Her dark hair had been grown out, framing her beautiful face, her trim body clad in a dress of pale pink, one of the newest designs from her latest fashion line.

And the man on her arm made many men and women stare in envy. Tall, dark, handsome, he reminded them all of a dark prince, with his muscular build and piercing green eyes.

"Is that Marinette?" Someone asked rather loudly, drawing everyone's attention from Lila's wildest tale and to the lovely designer as she strode in with her husband.

"Marinette, how was Taiwan?" Juleka spoke up, smiling as she and Rose strode over to greet the couple, Nino, Marc, and Nathaniel quickly joining them.

"It was lovely. I'd like to thank you again, for being able to model for me last week, you were a lifesaver." Marinette giggled softly, pulling Juleka in a tight hug.

Alya crossed her arms, scowling as practically everyone swarmed Marinette and the man she came with. She couldn't help but feel envious at the sight of Marinette, looking so beautiful and well put together.

Lila wasn't doing much better, wishing with every fiber of her being that she was basking in that attention.

"Who is this with you, Marinette?" Alya strode up, her hand always slipping into her purse, reaching for her cell phone. "A man you had to blackmail into marrying you? I feel sorry for him."

"... Is she serious?" Marc's brows shot up, sharing a bewildered look with his husband.

"Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Damian, Damian Wayne." Damian smiled cooly towards Alya and Lila, his eyes narrowing a fraction. "You must be the undesirables my wife had to deal with during her time here, aren't you?"

"... Nice try, Marinette. Seriously? Hiring a guy to pretend to be Damian Wayne? You're so pathetic, Lila is married to Damian, if you bothered even to check your facts." Alya snorted, crossing her arms as she glared at Mari, scowling again. "You've ruined enough lives already, you ruined mine and Nino's relationship, so you can just fuck off and go home. No one wants you here."

Damian stepped forward, cold fury written clearly on his face, but Marinette's gentle touch on his shoulder stopped him. She merely put on a kind smile and stepped around her husband.

"You're still believing her lies, Alya? All of you still are? That's pretty pathetic, if I'm being honest." Mari's smile sharpened a bit as she crossed her arms, her blue eyes alight with fire. A fire no one had known was there. "You're the biggest hypocrite I know, Alya, as you've never checked a fact in your life. You tend to jump to conclusions before getting all of the facts in the first place. That's what ruined your relationships, I didn't think of you once for the past ten years."

"You don't need to talk to Alya like that, Marinette! You're still the biggest bully ever!" Lila sobbed, wiping away her tears. "Wait until my Damibear hears about this! We'll sue, ruin that tacky brand of yours."

"Highly unlikely." Damian stepped forward, his expression morphing into one of cool calm. Then a smirk twitched his lips. "At least I know who has been throwing around my name to get into places, or to get things for free. My lawyers will love to take care of the messes you've been causing me and my family."

"I beg your pardon?!" Lila felt the blood drain from her face, but she teared up, sniffling, desperate to keep her façade. "Damian, you've been cheating on me with Marinette, I was just trying to help you save face!"

"Oh give it up, Lie-la, no one is buying your bullshit." Chloé strode in, her hands gripping Kagami's and Luka's as they entered. She gave the liar a haughty look, diamonds dangling at her ears and her neck. "Except for Alya. But she must have one good barbed tongue, if you keep letting her kiss your ass and such for all of these years."

"Chloé! You fu-" Alya's face went red and she and Lila began advancing on the trio, but no one noticed as Rose 'spillt' her drink, causing both girls to slip and go stumbling. Juleka stuck out an elegant leg and Lila went tumbling back into the punch bowl, toppling it all over herself. The screech she let out was so satisfying.

Nino pretended to grab hold of Alya to steady her, but her hands 'slipped' from his grasp and she was sent falling onto the food table. A bit of revenge for her destroying his DJ equipment seven years ago, after their break up.

"I guess coming here wasn't a waste of our time afterall." Damian's rare smile appeared as he took his wife's hand and kissed her knuckles.

"I agree." Marinette giggled, ignoring the screaming coming from Alya and Lila. Instead, she turned to her friends. "Oh, I forgot to tell you, we're meeting Adrien and Tim after this, would you guys wanna join us for dinner at our home here in Paris?"

Alya felt hot tears of frustration as she glared at the blurry Marinette, grinding her teeth. That couldn't be Damian Wayne, Marinette couldn't be married to him! Because... Because that would have meant Lila had been lying. Lying about Marinette, lying about Nino cheating on her with multiple men and women, lying about Alya's chances with New York Times.

And Lila wouldn't lie to her, she just couldn't!

Alya felt the hot tears steam down her cheeks as Marinette and Damian walked off with their friends, looking so... So happy.

Something that she hadn't felt in such a long time.

Taglist:

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Salt: @virgil-is-a-cutie @sidessunnybumblebee @persephonebutkore @18-fandoms-unite-08 @suzen23smith @luciferge @theelventhgod @noirdots @space--butterflies @ghostglaceon @magicalfirebird @goggles-mcgee @chocolate1721 @minightrose @bookcrazybby @cupcakeandkisses @mewwitch

[spatort]

I’m at my parents’ house and I have too much time on my hands apparently, so it’s time for a trip down memory lane! More specifically, a trip into the weird world of 1990s for-profit teen idol RPF, such as this beauty:

No, I did not find this at my parents’ house, I bought it second-hand specifically in order to make this post because I’m a person who enjoys studying fan culture in her free time. So, if you’re wondering what the hell the monstrosity pictured above is, and why it exists, don’t worry, I’m about to answer that question extensively.

LONG (AND HOPEFULLY FUN & INTERESTING) POST UNDER THE CUT

Let’s start with a bit of history: In the pre-internet era, fan culture differed from today in a few key regards. Although fanfiction existed, without the internet it was much harder for fans to share their stories with each other. Large fandoms such as Star Trek did have fanzines where fanfic could be printed, but all in all it was a much more niche thing than it is today with millions of fics accessible on AO3.

Fan culture in general, however, was a big thing in the 90s – particularly when it came to pop acts that appealed to teen (and tween) audiences, such as the Backstreet Boys, the Spice Girls, or (mostly in Europe) the Kelly Family. When I was in elementary school, you basically had to pick whether you were a BSB or an NSYNC fan – and god forbid you were a Kelly fan like me, then you were the lowest rung on the social ladder and the target of relentless mockery. Like many German kids in the 90s, me and my sister would religiously read teen magazine BRAVO, cut out every single bit of material about our faves and collect them in folders and self-made fanzines. We created fan art and fanfiction without having words for these things. Without the internet and social media, fans did not have a constant stream of content about their idols, and were left with no other choice but to cling to every bit of information they could find in magazines, on TV shows, or on the radio.

Enter a savvy businessperson who comes up with the perfect merchandise product to sell to these popstar-obsessed teens: fan novels! These books, featuring taglines such as ‘The novel for all Backstreet Boys fans’, typically revolved around a relatable female teenage protagonist who is a fan of the celebrity or music group in question, and usually ends up meeting their idol or, gasp, even becoming romantically involved with them. As far as themes go, they look pretty much exactly like your classic self-insert RPF. Except there is a big difference setting these books apart from ‘actual’ fanfiction: Rather than being written by real fans to express their ‘fannish’ feelings about the subject, fan novels were most likely commissioned works created by professional romance authors purely to profit off of actual fans. There is very little background information available about this ‘genre’, but I did stumble across an academic work on Google Books which featured a passage about these fan novels (translated into English by me):

There are several commissioned works by professional authors, which could be mistaken for fanfiction. Especially in the 1990s, when lots of boy bands were on the market, many books of this kind were published. […] These are fictional stories for fans [redacted].

Jennie Hermann: Backstreet Girl. Projektionsfläche Popstar - Wenn der Fan zum Schriftsteller wird (2009) [Popstar as Projection Surface – When fans become writers]

One of the things I find most intriguing about this type of commercially published fanfiction is the question of personal rights. Obviously, the celebs in question or their management must have consented to using their names in the story, their pictures on the cover and so on – because a profit could be made with this. Especially with the fan debate around RPF allegely being unethical, I wonder if the celebrities themselves were aware someone was writing these stories about them, putting words in their mouth, and if they had any clue what exactly happened in these novels. Now, I’ve read a couple of them in my own youth. Some of them deal mostly with the state of being a fan, e.g. I recall a novel about a girl who is so obsessed with Leonardo Di Caprio that she doesn’t pay attention to real life guys at all, only to learn that her actual dream boy has been in her life all along! This story did not feature Di Caprio himself as a character, it was more about the protagonist’s arc of realizing your idols are not all that matters in life. Others do describe fan encounters with teen idols, and some even feature (hints at) romance with a celebrity. When I decided to purchase a vintage copy of one of these books, I opted for one of the latter category, precisely because of the popular argument that writing romance stories featuring real people is somehow ‘wrong’. For only a couple of euros, I was able to get my hands on a weird and wonderful relic of fan culture: Mein Frühling mit Nick (My spring with Nick) by the likely pseudonymous Maxi Keller, heralded on the book cover as ‘the novel for all fans of the Backstreet Boys’.

The story revolves around 16-year-old musical prodigy and designated wallflower Katharina, who lives in a German small town and cares about nothing else than playing the organ – certainly not about boys, let alone ones that are super-famous American pop stars. This means she is not initially a fan of the Backstreet Boys, which I guess is something of a trope itself – the protagonist meeting a celebrity by chance without knowing who they are and the celeb being thrilled that someone doesn’t just like them for their fame. Anyway, the boys visit Katharina’s hometown while on tour in Germany because band member AJ is doing some research on his German ancestors who happened to live in this very town. Katharina runs into them, she and Nick (who was only 17 himself when this was published in 1997, so it’s legal) fall in love at first sight, she helps them dig up information on AJ’s ancestors and finds out the two of them are related, the boys invite Katharina and her friend Saskia backstage after their show and … nothing happens. The book is 200 pages long and Katharina doesn’t even get one kiss with her boy band sweetheart, even though they mutually crush on each other right away. Perhaps that’s as far as the band or their management agreed for the novel to go – a hint at romance, but no trace of any on-page action, no matter how innocent.

That said, the book is so hilariously poorly written that it was still very entertaining to read. Although I could not find out anything about the author Maxi Keller, and therefore assume this might be a pseudonym, their writing style very much suggests that their are a professional romance author who usually writes for an older audience (plus, the book was published by Bastei Lübbe, who also publish a range of cheap romance novels known as ‘Romanhefte’). The language is extremely flowery at times, and even teenage characters speak with an eloquence that is hardly age-appropriate, with some 90s teen slang peppered in at unfitting times (such as the overuse of the English word ‘girl’). Often the novel loses itself in pointless detail that does nothing to move the plot forward (such as an extensive description of a house party hosted by Saskia’s rich parents, with minute details of their luxurious lifestyle and assets, even though Saskia is only a supporting character in the overall plot). It appears as if the author is desperately trying to fill the pages with meaningless drivel so they don’t need to write too many scenes featuring the presumed main attraction, the boys themselves.

If Keller was indeed merely hired to write this, and is not a fan themselves, one must still admit that the author did their research when it comes to the band. Whereas fanfiction typically assumes that the audience is already familiar with the characters and often skips any introductory descriptions of their appearance or personality, Keller makes sure that even a reader who is completely unfamiliar with the Backstreet Boys can keep up. The author delivers extensive descriptions of the boys’ appearance and demeanor, even spelling out their full names repeatedly, and frequently peppers in ‘fun facts’ such as ‘Kevin was raised on a farm in Kentucky’. While an actual fan might do so to prove how knowledgeable they are, and earning their status as a ‘true fan’, in this case it only seems like Keller really wants to show off how much research they did – as if not a single piece of information they took in must go to waste by not being used in the novel.

When it comes to the question how realistically the non-fannish author replicates the way the boys act and speak, there are two barriers to delivering a well-founded answer: Firstly, I was personally very young when BSB were popular and I really don’t remember too well what each member was like. Secondly, the elephant in the room: the language barrier. All of the aforementioned fan novels were written in German, and the problems posed by writing about an English-speaking band interacting with German OCs (and teenage ones at that) are addressed poorly, if at all. Pretty much all dialogue is written in German, and the audience is left to assume that everyone is actually speaking English whenever the boys are involved – except the novel does nothing to explain why two 16-year-old German girls would be able to express themselves so effortlessly in a foreign language. (Remember, the internet was not a thing, so German kids were not exposed to the same amount of English in everyday life as they are these days.) It would have been easy to make one of them a language nerd who gets straight A’s in English class, and give the other a British parent and make them bilingual. Instead, Katharina initially even worries about the prospect of having to talk to boys at all, and in English on top of that! But when she actually does, the language barrier never comes up again. The suspension of disbelief expected from the reader is therefore immense. The language barrier also gives the author an easy way out when it comes to imitating the way the boys speak in real life – there is no need to take into account idiolects or regional differences (such as ‘you guys’ vs. ‘y’all’) if the boys’ speech is essentially translated into a foreign language. However, I wanted to give you guys (or y’all, if you will) a taste of how Keller attempts to write a scene where AJ and Nick discuss the latter’s crush on Katharina:

I would argue that this sounds realistic enough for what it’s worth, if a little cheesy, which is excusable in this genre. Perhaps a true 90s BSB fan would beg to differ, so if you happen to be one, feel free to drop me a message. But in my semi-professional opinion, this most likely holds up for readers.

So, to answer the initial question that drove me to purchase this book: Do fan novels like Mein Frühling mit Nick count as fanfiction?

If we assume that something is only a fanfic if the author themselves is a fan of the subject matter, then I would argue no, Maxi Keller is probably not a fan themselves and therefore this work of for-profit real-person fiction does not qualify as fanfic. However, fan novels definitely have a (however small) place in the history of fan culture and fan-adjacent works, and I personally found reading this relic both entertaining and insightful!

[jiejie-eonni-onee-sama]

Miss Independent...

For the sweet @queenofgotham800​ and @onemoreparadise​

Hope you will enjoy the story!​

She got her own thing.

That's why I love her!

Miss independent,

Won't you come and spend a little time?

She got her own thing.

That's why I love her!

Miss independent.

Oh, the way she shines,

Miss independent!

Miss Independent - Ne Yo (2008)

Sitting in the bar, Victor silently drank his glass of whiskey while watching the other patrons getting drunk, flirting, puking on the floor, or dancing like dislocated puppets.

He growled: they were all pathetic! He did not know how his boss manages to tolerate those jackasses in his club.

Something caught his eye, and he looked at a young brown-haired woman, who leaned her elbows on the counter.

She has something in her attitude that interested him: she did not look like the other girls. This one might be more appealing than he thought.

Smirking, he got up and walked towards her. 

Victor cleared his throat and asked:

"Hey, pretty! You enjoy the party?"

The young woman turned her head and answered:

"Not really. I'd rather not be like those clowns!"

Zsasz chuckled: he already liked her!

"Well, we have this in common. But those idiots make my boss rich, so I had to put up with them!"

"I guess so... But at least, the drinks are good!" she smirked.

"Glad to hear that!"

She slightly frowned when she noticed the scars on his face.

"I see... You must be Victor Zsasz, Roman Sionis's most trusted henchman!"

"Oh? You've heard about me?"

"Who doesn't hear about you in Gotham?" 

He shrugged.

"I don't know... Maybe those who think Roman is defenseless!"

He leaned closer to the young woman:

"And you, who are you?"

She grinned.

"Do you really want to know my name? Or it's just a formality before shagging me?"

Victor raised his eyebrows: she was quite frank about that!

"Even if it's not that obvious, I have some manners. I prefer asking the name of the person I want to have in my bed tonight!"

"Oh? Is that a proposition?"

"Only if you're interested!"

As she was about to answer, a drunken guy stumbled near to her and asked in a slurred voice:

"Hey, baby! Wanna have some fun tonight? I've got everything you want!"

"No, thank you! I've already found my fun!" she answered with a cold tone.

But the alcoholic did not take "no" as an answer, and he gripped her wrist.

"You will come with me, you little..."

He did not finish his sentence as a foot in his face sending him backward, with a broken nose.

Zsasz was impressed, to say the least: he thought he would peeling off this jerk's face, but it looked like the lady can defend herself.

"Mh, you know how to kick ass, right?"

"In a city like this, you better learn fast how to be a predator!"

A wide grin came across his face: he was lucky, tonight!

"So, about my proposition... You're still interested?"

"Well... I bet you know how to have fun!"

He gave her his best hungry smile.

"I have many tricks in my sleeve... Why don't you come with me?"

Her smile gave him butterflies in the stomach. She had some magnetic charisma that attracted him. Victor did not know why, but this girl would save his night!

"Okay, I follow. Are we going to your place, or you prefer a hotel room?"

"My place: it's not far from here!"

She got up from her seat and said:

"Shall we go, or do you plan to talk to me all night long?"

"You're a woman of few words, eh? I like that!"

The pair left the club and walked to Victor's place. After a few minutes, they arrived at the flat. No sooner had they entered the flat than they were already on the bed, feverishly kissing each other. They get undressed in a hurry, craving touch from each other.

His hands slowly wandered all over her body, making her sigh with pleasure. As for her, she slightly touched his scars, mentally counting each tally on his skin.

"Memories?" she asked.

"Kind of..." he muttered.

Victor inquired:

"But you did not tell me your name?"

Smirking, she leaned close to him and whispered:

"You know what? Just call me baby tonight."

Grinning, the killer pinned her down on the mattress:

"As you wish... Baby!"

And they resumed their lovemaking with unleashed desire, discovering each other's bodies and making the other scream their name. As he gets lost in her arms, Victor thought that his night was not wasted...

The next morning.

When Victor woke up, he felt that he was alone in the bed. As he stretched out, he realized that he was all alone in his flat. There was no sound of the shower or anything that could state her presence. 

Suddenly, he noticed a piece of paper on his nightstand. Unfolding it, he read its contents:

It was a likable night. Nice to meet you. Baby.

No phone number, no address: obviously, the lady did not want to extend the experience. A bitter grin appeared on Victor's face: usually, he was the one who ran away after dawn, leaving his one-night stand alone. But this time, he was the one left. 

Given the lady's character, he should not be surprised: it looked like Baby - as she called herself - loved to preserve her independence. 

However, there was something within this girl that fascinated him, but he cannot tell what. Her confidence, her appearance, her sarcastic comments... Or, maybe everything?

The scarred guy sighed: he would probably never know the answer. How will he find this girl in a city as big as Gotham?

As he got up, Victor sighed: definitively, she knew what she wanted and did not care what the others would say.

Really, she was an independent woman and never looked back. A tough girl, the kind he liked.

"You know how to break guys, uh? Miss Independent..."

A few months later.

"FUCK! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"

Victor sighed as Roman kicked a man out of his room, fuming with anger. For some days, Mr. Sionis tried to hire new henchmen for his business... And it was not successful, to say the least.

While the candidate ran for his life, Roman yelled:

"Damn it! Is it too hard to find competent guys, or is it just me?" ranted Roman as he threw his cushion on the wall.

"You're right, Boss. They are useless!"

"Yeah, I have noticed! But they just wasted my time... AND I FUCKING HATE THAT!" 

Victor patted Roman's shoulder, trying to calm him down.

"It's okay, Boss: we will find qualified guys."

"I hope so..." muttered Roman as he sipped his Martini glass.

Suddenly, Miss Lee, Roman's secretary, appeared and said:

"Sir, one last candidate is waiting outside..."

"Ah, really?"

"Indeed. Shall I let her in?"

"Her? You mean that a girl wants to work for me?"

"It is the case. Do you want to see this candidate?"

The mob boss shrugged.

"After all, why not? Tell her to come in!"

"Alright, sir." answered the secretary before walking out the room.

Sionis smirked:

"How funny. Can you believe it, Vic? A girl wants to cross swords with the toughest guys of Gotham! Either she is crazy, or she is a badass!"

"Wait and see, Roman," smirked Victor.

A few seconds later, Miss Lee arrived, escorting a young woman.

"Mr. Sionis, your last candidate..."

The moment he saw the young woman, Victor nearly screamed in surprise: it cannot be! 

As for Roman, he gave his most charming smile and welcomed the young woman:

"Good afternoon, dear. Sorry for the waiting: I was pretty busy."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Sionis." answered the girl.

"The pleasure is mine. Yet, you know my name, but I don't know yours. May I know it?"

"Of course: my name is (Y/N)"

"(Y/N)..." mumbled Victor.

Oblivious of his right-hand man's turmoil, Roman gestured to (Y/N):

"Please, take a seat. Fancy a drink?"

"No, thanks. I want to stay clean..."

"Uh, interesting... Alright, let's get down to business: why do you want to work for me?"

"Honestly, you're the only mob boss who pays his employees well. Furthermore, you're the only one who accepts the idea of a woman working for him."

"Honestly, I was taken aback when my secretary told me about you. But, after all, I can give it a try."

He smirked.

"However, I must be honest: I am a demanding boss, and I only work with professionals."

Victor knew what Roman meant, and he was quite intrigued: will (Y/N) manage to succeed?

"What do you want from me?" asked the young woman.

"You know, as I try to find competent people for my security, I want to be sure that my employees know how to fight..."

"Who should I fight?"

She glanced at Victor with a smirk.

"Do you want me to fight your loyal Mister Zsasz?"

"No, no, no: Victor is too important... But I have to admit that you like the challenge."

"Life is no fun without challenges!"

Sionis laughed.

"You're far more interesting than I expected! Let's see if you're a good fighter! STAN!"

A tall blonde muscular man appeared in the room.

"Yeah, boss?"

"Fight that girl: if she kicks your ass, she is hired! Otherwise, I don't care!"

Stan had a dirty smile.

"Can she be my toy if I win?"

"You pig!" she growled, unpleased.

"If you want... Now, fight!" answered Roman.

Stan launched a punch at (Y/N). But she easily avoided it, much to Roman and his henchmen's surprise.

As for Stan, he was shocked: nobody escaped his punches. And he was not out of the woods...

"That's all? Too slow... My turn!" she replied before violently kicking his ribs, breaking one or two bones in the process.

"Ouch! That hurts, for sure!" grimaced Roman.

"Sure, it must be..." answered Victor... who secretly enjoyed seeing this idiot of Stan beaten by (Y/N).

Speaking of the latter, he was pissed! This little bitch would pay for that!

"Come here, you..."

"No thanks!" she said before catching his arm and pinning him down.

Once her opponent down, she twisted his arm, breaking it.

"Next time you dare speak to me, you better show me some respect, or I'll smash your skull! Am I clear?" 

Nodding with panic, Stan exited the room, holding his broken arm. 

Satisfied, (Y/N) turned to Roman and asked:

"Am I hired?"

"For sure, you are! You are a tough woman, and I like that! Can you start today?"

"Sure, Mister Sionis."

"Wonderful, my dear (Y/N). Welcome to my organization! Tonight, you will be with Victor and me at the club. Speaking of that, he will show you the main points of my territory."

He ordered Victor:

"Take the car and show her the main places. You have time until 9 p.m. Is that good for you?"

"Sure, boss." answered the scarred man with a nod.

He picked the keys and gestured:

"Follow me, (Y/N)."

"I arrive. See you later, boss."

Once the two are in the car, Victor asked:

"So, your real name was (Y/N)?"

"Yes, and so? What's the matter?"

He looked at her:

"Why you did not tell me your real name?"

"Honestly, you and I were just good for a one-night stand, and nothing more. So, I did not see the purpose to tell you my name?"

"You got the point... I have another question."

"Go ahead."

"Why you decided to work for Roman?"

"Because I knew you would be there..."

Victor raised an eyebrow.

"Really?"

"Yes. Because, as surprising as it sounds... I really enjoyed my night with you... And you are the most interesting man I ever met."

Zsasz chuckled.

"Well, that's flattering."

(Y/N) smirked.

"Now, that's my turn to ask you a question: when I arrived, I saw that you were surprised to see me, and also... happy. Why?"

Victor seemed embarrassed.

"You have noticed, uh? Well, you're right: I did not expect to see you again, after the note you left. And I was happy because... you're really my type of girl. Smart, tough, and badass. So, I was vexed when you left..."

"I thought that it was you want. And for once it was the girl who let first..."

Victor laughed.

"You're right: it changed, for once. But what bothered me was that for once I found an interesting girl, she vanished before dawn."

"Now, here I am!"

"Yes, here you are..."

He leaned close to her.

"After work, fancy a drink at my place?"

"With pleasure, dear. And this time, I won't disappear!" she smirked.

"Glad to hear that... Now, let's go: we have a long drive before us!"

During the drive, Victor and (Y/N) tried to catch up on time by trying to know each other.

Finally, he found his Miss Independent, and he won't let her go...

Thanks for the reading!

I hope you enjoyed the story that was slightly inspired by this wonderful crackship made by @onemoreparadise​ that I requested!

Don’t hesitate to send me requests!

See you later and stay safe! 😍😘🥰😷

[itsclydebitches]

I've never played WOW, but my friends into it. I might as well try. Any advice for someone who's never touched a MMO?

Oh, fun question! It’s actually hard for me to think of things I’d have wanted to know when starting out because I started playing MMOs around age... 9? So in some respects I grew up alongside the genre, rather than trying to learn it after the fact, but some things I’d highlight about WoW now is:

Don’t worry about your race/class. There is SO MUCH about the “right” and “wrong” way to create a character, but at the end of the day you should choose whatever interests and appeals to you most. The caveat to that is that picking a tank or a healer class will put a bit more responsibility on your shoulders  — whether you like it or not at times  — so just be aware of that. Some people like taking on a specific role, others (me) do not. There are also classes that are better suited to soloing as much of the game as possible, if that’s something you’re interested in. 

Regardless, you will have to play with others eventually. If your friends are already into WoW it sounds like you have a good community/potential guild to turn to, but I’d recommend waiting until you feel confident in playing your character before entering groups with strangers. Frankly, the WoW community can be pretty damn toxic. I’m no expert, but I’ve played it long enough to feel confident in my abilities and I’m still cursed out by pissed off dungeon groups if we wipe. Raids will expect you to have learned the fights via youtube prior to coming in and when many inevitably haven’t (because it’s a game and homework shouldn’t be required lol) they’ll start yelling too. PvP is just a mess of accusations and slurs, depending on how badly it’s going... so yeah. I don’t want to make it sound like WoW is made up of nothing but assholes, but there are enough to make an impression. It’s something to avoid if you’re not feeling up to it, but given how much of the later content requires working with others, wait until you’re geared, have a good handle on your class, and are in a good head space before diving in. Or stick to playing with friends. 

Speaking of friends, if you do want to play with them I’d recommend picking their faction (Horde or Alliance). That will allow you to visit each other in major cities, help with the same quests, queue up for activities together, etc. Though the story has moved away from the Horde vs. Alliance rivalry recently, the gameplay still very much divides them. 

Check out everything you can (without getting too overwhelmed!) WoW has a LOT going on and while very little is required, much of it is beneficial while also being easy to miss, just by virtue of there being so much to do. Pick up any quests you find, explore as much of the world as you can, talk to NPCs, save the loot you get, etc. You can always get rid of something  — drop a quest, destroy/sell an item  — but it’s a bummer if you just go and sell everything only to realize you actually needed all that stuff for something else. So go slow and check out your options before making decisions. 

To help with that, I recommend WoWhead and Icy Veins for info, or just good old-fashioned plugging the thing into google with “wow” next to it. How often do I look stuff up? Constantly. MMOs don’t have cheating culture the way a single-player game might (I mean, there’s absolutely cheating, just not in the same way), so don’t be afraid to just google anything and everything you want. The comment sections of a page are your best friend. Whereas the official description may give you an overwhelming amount of information you don’t actually need, player comments tend to focus on what others really want to know: here’s where to find this NPC, yes this quest is bugged, make sure you do X before Y, etc. WoW has become a lot more accessible over the years in terms of helping players figure things out, but it’s still confusing at times, so make use of any resource you please. 

Another “cheat” is to use addons. I’d recommend grabbing WoWMatrix which will allow you to (safely) download addons without any of the hassle of putting it in the correct folders. I’d recommend Bagnon (makes all your bags open as a single window so you can see all your loot at once), Bartender (allows you to customize your action bar), Coordinates (puts a tiny, movable coordinates button on your screen which is basically necessary at this point to find things. Players will almost always provide coordinates when giving locations), HandyNotes (provides lots of info on your map, like how you go about summoning a rare mob), Pawn (helps you compare gear to see what’s best for your class/specialization), and if you do any PvP, Healers Have to Die, or HHTD, which marks all healers with a cross so they’re easy to spot in battle (always kill healers first! :D). WoWMatrix is SUPER easy to use  — just search for the addons you want via the application, download them, delete if you don’t like ‘em, and open it once in a while to “Update All” — and the various addons you can use are an absolute godsend. They make playing the base game that much better. 

If you’re someone invested in the story side of games, lore is going to be very weird here, just because WoW is 16 years old and you’ll be entering into the 8th expansion. I’ve played WoW since it came out and I don’t know wtf is going on a lot of the time lol. So just roll with it, or if you’re interested, make use of wikis, the novels, etc. But it’s not the sort of game where you’re in trouble if you have no idea who this person is or what battle they’re talking about. Just accept whatever they want you to do and pick up the story wherever you came in. 

You’re going to die a lot. A lot, a lot. That’s fine, everyone does. Again, not the sort of game where that’s a problem. Just know that you can either return to your corpse (flying there as a ghost) or rez at the graveyard you appear in if you’re willing to deal with a bad debuff for like 10 minutes. Also, all armor has durability that goes down over time, but it goes down faster the more you die, so you’ll want to repair (finding an NPC with the anvil icon) soon afterwards. 

There’s lots of little things to learn like that: a brown bag icon means you can sell to this person, blue exclamation marks are quests that will reappear daily, items with a gray name (as opposed to white, green, blue, or purple) are pretty much just junk and you can always sell them... there’s a lot. Pick things up as you go, keeping in mind that you’ll be given SO MUCH INFORMATION and no, you’re not going to learn it all at once. Part of the fun is figuring stuff out and seeing yourself improve. Feel free to ask questions too (there’s a chat box and you can speak to an entire zone at once), though frankly it’s a 50/50 chance whether someone will give an actual answer, or just roast you lol 

If you ever want to play “seriously,” I’d kinda recommend learning WoW with keybinding early on  — AKA, creating button shortcuts for various spells/skills so your mouse is only used for camera movement and targeting, rather than wasting time looking for the action you want to click on. I say “kinda” because I don’t do that. At this point my click method is too ingrained in my muscle memory for anything else, but I recognize that I’m in the minority for saying that’s an “okay” way to play. 

Anything is okay though. Do whatever. I mean, the above aside, literally my best advice is to just throw yourself headfirst into the game, accept that you’re going to mess so much up, shrug, and have fun with it. I spent an hour of my life running a Tourghast floor today... and then wasn’t able to beat the final boss. So I “wasted” that time since I didn’t get the loot, but who cares? It was fun! Literally do whatever and don’t let any of the assholes get to you. Someone sends a message you don’t like? Block them (right click their name in the chat box to get the option). Group is making you uncomfortable? Leave. Don’t know how to do something? Google it! The best thing about an MMO is also the most overwhelming: it’s a whole world with (almost) endless options, so though that freedom is exciting, it also means you have to curate your own experience. It’s a bit like being here on tumblr. Figure out all the nuances at you own pace, lurk as long as you’d like, and if someone is being annoying, google how to keep them out of your inbox. 

Idk how helpful any of these tips are, but I hope you enjoy it!! 😊

[vanquishedvaliant]

The sidedish is scrolling your blog and not finding you talking about new anime

I must not be hip enough to recognize precisely what you’re getting at by ‘sidedish’, but I just don’t usually post it much on tumblr unprompted anymore because writeups are a pain, they don’t usually get much traction, and I’m more than satisfied talking about it in discord with people that are actually going to listen and respond.

I DO have thoughts on new anime I can serve if it’s that in demand, though. 

Here’s what I’m watching this season with some initial reaction ratings based on the first couple episodes

New this season;

Wonder Egg Priority 10/10

UraSekai Picnic 10/10

Kumo desu ga, nani ka 8/10

Kemono Jihen 9/10

Hortensia Saga 7/10

Soukou Musume Senki 7/10

Gekidol 6/10

Sequels;

Cells at Work 9/10

Cells at Work: Black! 9/10

Uma Musume Pretty Derby 10/10

Tensei Shitara Slime Datta Ken 8/10

Log Horizon 8/10

Dr Stone 10/10

Continuing from last season;

Higurashi ... Gou 10/10

Hanyou no Yashahime 6/10

Jujutsu Kaisen 10/10

I’m also watching the original Higurashi in between off days to catch up to where Gou is, since I’d never seen it before and it’s clear I’m not getting the full story in Gou anymore without it.

Deeper thoughts under the cut.

Wonder Egg Priority and Urasekai Picnic are the clear AOTS contenders. Both are at once extremely superficially similar but very different in practice, and both bring something unique and charming to the table.

Urasekai is extremely notable at being a well executed supernatural adventure anime that is also a yuri; as much as I love pure romances like Bloom into You or Adachi and Shimamura, it’s very rare that we get anime with lesbian main characters or WLW romance where the romance itself isn’t the focus, that includes a serious, intriguing plot alongside the elements of romance. You know, like straight people get without a question every single story ever.

It’s got this very classic cryptid / SCP / otherworld adventure feel and has the right comedic and tension beats to be quite good, though its long term impact will be determined by what kind of further message it has.

Wonder Egg Priority immediately comes off with extremely powerful vibes in the vein of things like Flip Flappers, which I mean in the highest compliment. A surreal, metaphor-filled story of dreams and desires and well laid subtext, with colourful, exotic action and a snappy pace. This one’s extremely interesting to me, and its first episode was masterfully efficient in setting up its premise both aesthetically and thematically.

The real test for Wonder Egg will come with time; this is a story that trades heavily in meaning; so it’ll have to run longer and come to a conclusion to really test what kind of impact it’ll have. For now, I’m VERY interested and cautiously optimistic.

Spider Isekai is a charming twist on the typical flood of fantasy game / isekai stories placing our protagonist at the extreme low end of the power curve, and quite UNLIKE Slime Isekai or most others on the market like last season’s Kuma Bear, this one seems intent on keeping her there rather than immediately granting her insane godlike powers and thrusting her back above the curve.

The parts of the show that focus on the spider herself are lovely; there’s a real tension and sense of stakes in her struggle to adapt, slowly getting used to her new body and gaining levels and abilities, making even simple conflicts against frogs or lizards seem life threatening and serious, giving us a real reason to root for her.

On the other hand, the show frequently switches focus to... the entire other classroom of isekai’d children which is by far less interesting. There’s potential in there somewhere for a story about mass isekai’d kids adapting, but other than some details like one girl being gender swapped, and another being the class pet, there’s just really not much interesting about them at the moment and these sections just feel like a waste of time while waiting for the Spider to come back.

I don’t doubt that they’ll eventually meet up and have their stories intertwine... but at the moment, I don’t think I actually want that to happen. We’ll see where this one goes.

Kemono Jihen took me by surprise, and I wasn’t planning to watch this one unti l saw some screencaps. But the first two episodes have been outstanding, giving us a fantastic supernatural mystery detective agency plot and characters with real emotions, eye catching action scenes, and a compelling mystery.

Definitely looking forward to more of this one.

Hortensia Saga seems like a fairly typical fantasy war chronicle RPG story. It feels very in the vein of early to mid era fire emblems, and I happen to like anime like this that are solidly executed, like Grancrest Senki a while back. It’s doing a good enough job so far to keep my interest. Nothing game changing here, but a decent offering.

Soukou Musume Senki; this one also comes across in the standard seasonal fare of superpowered teenagers fighting aliens, this time with power armor and mild isekai elements. The monster designs are good this time, and the second episode brought us some nice moral / political dialogue showcasing some level of self awareness and depth. It’s fun so far.

Gekidol this show wants really badly to be compared favourably to Shoujo Kageki Starlight Revue. They’re hamming up the theatre tropes, putting out specials, sliding in secret background lore. First episode was fairly interesting, but the second seriously dropped the ball with its half assed Idol episode, and incredibly tone deaf play at a heartwarming moment.

I’m gonna keep watching this one for now, but it really needs to prove to me it has some meat and isn’t going to just keep borrowing tropes from other shows to lend it superficial “deep” merits.

For sequels,

Cells at Work is as cute, wholesome, and info-taining as ever. I think the OP this time is missing a little oomph, but the show itself is still going strong.

Cells at Work: Black! is offering a new take on it with a slightly darker and mature setting with a stressed out alcholic smoker at risk of contracting STDS, with a little bleaker tone and harsher stakes. It relies on the background of the original Cells at Work to work both tonally and narratively, but with that support it provides something quite interesting and unique.

The usual Cells at Work metaphors and humanization of bodily processes are just as excellent as always, and I’m giving special credit to the sketch about alcholic liver damage being compared to drunken abuse of host club employees, displaying a perhaps obvious if natural juxtaposition of the physical and emotional damage the substance abuse is causing to both the body itself and others around them.

Uma Musume; Horse girls! Racing! Just as surprisingly excellent as last season, giving us a fantastic sports story anime with charming characters and balanced stakes, with a good helping of humour. Easy recommend.

Slime Isekai: This one’s still going strong but has diverged from it’s original premise quite seriously. There’s nothing intriguing about this being an isekai  about being reincarnated as a slime anymore; and he’s way too overpowered for any of the combat to have any stakes. What it DOES have however is a fascinating look at the birth of a fantasy nation of monsters, politics, science, and social development of a varied and multicultural monster nation. And THAT I’m still in for.

I will seriously never forgive them for making Bobcut Lizardgirl into a regular ass human though. It has a serious problem with de-monsterizing its character designs and seriously reducing their appeal.

Log Horizon the true king of MMO isekai is back after 7 long, long years, and it’s jumping STRAIGHT into the depth of its political intrigue and deep understanding and development of the socio political issues inherent to its setting. Somewhat dry as ever, but truly fascinating for those looking at a more serious exploration of what the concept of living in a game actually means.

Dr Stone: I don’t have to hype this up, do I? Mad science speedrunning the development of human culture from the stone age up! This time they’re going to war! They made cell phones and cup ramen out of rocks! It’s heartwarming, emotionally rich, entertaining and informative, and funny as all hell. A classic for sure.

Higurashi. Everyone knows higurashi. Thing is, I just never watched it. We thought Gou was going to be a remake, but then it ended up being Rebuild of Evangelion, so I stopped at episode 12 or so and went back to watch the original. Classic horror mystery.

Yashahime. Yikes. This one’s... well. I don’t have any especial nostalgia or affection for Inuyasha like many people, but Yashahime is clearly a very middling approximation of it. There’s things to like here, the main trio of characters are all great designs, Moroha standing even head and shoulders above them as a truly endearing goblin child, and it really does feel in ways like 90s toonami fare. But there’s some lack of depth going on here, and I just don’t even know what to say about the Sesshoumaru pedophilia thing. Extremely questionable plotting.