somuchbetterthanthat

[somuchbetterthanthat]

Whether you believe in Allah, Jesus, the theory of evolution or parallell universes, there's only one thing we know for sure. Life is... now.

TV Appreciation Week: Day 5 (25 July): Favourite season(s) of tv - SKAM Season 3

[somuchbetterthanthat]

pondering. People most tolerant of R's bullshit, from top to bottom:

Bossuet (that's what best mates are for), Joly (obviously), Prouvaire (he gets Melancholy an he's a sweetheart), Courfeyrac (he hangs with Bossuet too much NOT to be), Bahorel (he's known enough assholes to see through R's bullshit), Enjolras (fight me on this), Feuilly (and nobody blames him, come on) and Combeferre (HAVE YOU SEEN HOW HE REACTED TO ONE MEETING WTH MARIUS?).

[somuchbetterthanthat]

I want to talk about les amis, I'm having lots of thoughts and feelings about les amis abruptly, and possibly lil bit specifically of les amis and grantaire, right now, because it's ten pm on a Tuesday Night and I've got anxiety as ever, but no words are coming, which is tragic.

It keeps turning over and over in my head that the fantasy of Grantaire is that you can be kind of a sad asshole and still have a flurry of people around that loves you. Yes, sometimes it DOES get too much, and he'll be called out, but first and foremost, he's the guy who drunkenly ramble for pages, and still is having breakfast with his best friends in the morning of a revolution. His best friends did expect a revolution to happen, but they were like. Let's have breakfast with Grantaire first.

The fantasy of Grantaire is also that the most beautiful, fervent believer in the world might not understand or accept you, per say (or so the writer says) but still like. gives you chances upon chances to prove him wrong about yourself.

Also, all those people ARE trusting you and letting you in on their little secret republican meetings that could put everybody in prison if they were discovered. So you're a sad, rambly, alcoholic asshole, but also, you're clearly a good friend who's loved.

... I'm not saying anything new I'm just very emotional. About Grantaire. I have a mighty need for Joly or Courfeyrac to kiss his nose. Help me.

[somuchbetterthanthat]

Protocol doesn't need to seduce me more, and yet it throws random tidbits at me most episodes and i'm left giggling and twirling my hair at it

[somuchbetterthanthat]

One the one hand i adore that Gwen is a Bouchard because 1. horrible canon family and 2. sometimes i can play in the sand with her being Jon and Elias's daughter in AUs.

On the other hand every single time someone compared her to Jonah as if the fact they shared a surname meant anything at all (it doesn't, Jonah was Elias Bouchard but he wasn't, he was Jonah) implying that Jonah failgirls and/or sucks as hard as she does (bless her) it aggravates me so much I have to leave tumblr and put some salt under my nose to feel better.

[somuchbetterthanthat]

The thing about Gwen Bouchard is that she COULD have just fired Alice and Celia and find three new people to hire who DIDNT KNOW she was completely out of her depth and would have had to deal with her I'm The Boss Mood and might have even respected it in so far as they need the job and it would have been exactly as lonely and fucked up as it is for her now, but at least she could have really really pretend hard that those people respected her properly which MIGHT have made her felt Ok like five minutes or so every day

(Of course she also wouldn't have Alice anymore either, and I'm strongly suspecting that, regardless of any sort of shipping lense, if Gwen spends too long without speaking with Alice about stuff, she just gets WorseTM)

[somuchbetterthanthat]

My toxic trait is that I am far more interested in the socio-economic and geopolitical implications of ABO settings than the smut.

For example: I can't read any ABO AUs set in England or France because while I can suspend my disbelief far enough for a gender trinary set up, I can't suspend it enough to believe those two countries would still be distinct entities in a alternate history where Richard the Lionheart could have impregnated Philip II.

If there was a viable dynastic future with Richard, Philip would have climbed him like an oak and dragged him to the altar if he had to. It's a match that makes perfect sense from both their points of view: Philip gets Aquitaine back under French rule, the best general in Europe on his council, and a powerful check on the Angevins... then unexpectedly (after Henry the Young bites it) the entire Kingdom of England for his Capetian dynasty. Richard meanwhile gets to stick it to his father, secure Aquitaine's prosperity, and gets the leverage to start pushing for his mother's release. Then when Henry kicks the bucket Richard doesn't actually have to be King of England in anything but name: Philip can run the countries and unify the Crowns and what not while Richard runs off to go Crusading.

Plus they also like, loved each other and stuff and being able to get to be together long term instead of being torn apart by politics would have been cool. But I'm mainly obsessed with the historical and dynastic implications.

All this to say any ABO au set in England or France that doesn't have them united as a singular Anglo-Frank empire is doing it wrong.

[somuchbetterthanthat]

Activation Energy and Executive Dysfunction

A bunch of people (with executive dysfunction I assume) reacted a little disheartened to how I described the phenomenon.

The gist is that I used activation energy, a concept from chemistry, as a model for how executive dysfunction can keep you from doing things. Activation energy is the minimal energy that has to be available for any chemical reaction to occur and that amount is specific to every reaction.

Executive Dysfunction to me means, that this activation energy is always high, even for tasks other people experience as spontaneous reaction (yes the amount of ae and spontaneity of a reaction are not connected necessarily but bear with me here). A good example is showering or feeding yourself or sometimes getting up from the couch.

The tricky thing here is that the energy put into trying to reach activation energy is still *expended*, so while it might seem like nothing happens, you still get drained, making it harder to reach activation energy levels.

So what can we do?

In synthesis, if your activation energy is too high you basically can do two things: you either add a catalyst, or you find a different way to get to your result altogether.

The latter can be choosing a simpler recipe to feed yourself, graze on random items without making a meal until you are full or ordering food for example.

This is not always possible, but it *is* worth thinking about. An example from my life would be that I open my mail outside at the trash bins and immediately discard what I don't need because otherwise, I have paperstuff flying around my appartment that I don't get rid of.

"Weird" is not something that should factor in here. Make it functional and helpful.

The catalyst is my favourite solution however, and I can give you some tips here that you can *immediately* use. I won't know if they work for you, but they do for me (sometimes! be kind to yourself).

CATALYSTS AGAINST EXECUTIVE DYSFUNCTION

Have your tasks broken down: when you have energy, make sure that the thing on your to do list is something you can *actually* physically immediately do. Don't write "make reservation", but "call restaurant" along with the number. Not "clean kitchen" but "move dishes to sink" etc

Doorway Effect: The Doorway effect describes that silly thing that, when we cross a boundary, we sometimes feel like we've been soft reset ("what was I going to do?"). A hypothesis for why this happens can be that it helps our brain create separate contexts which then aids memory creation. What it can do for you is that it is an easy way to change context, which then frees you up to start something new more easily. Try it! Physically go through a doorway or open a different window on the computer, sometimes that is enough.

Costuming: Similar to the Doorway Effect, we are changing context in a low effort way here. Concentrate on putting on your shoes instead of taking out the trash or put on some rubber gloves if you plan on cleaning. Might be enough. Sometimes putting on mascara is enough for me to go "oh I am out of couch potato mode now"

Move! Put yourself where you need to be to tackle your task. That can already help.

Pressure: This can be done by setting a timer that will go off soon. Challenge yourself to get up and go before it rings - might stress you into inaction sometimes, but it can be helpful. I love visual timers for this as it helps with my time blindness

Prepare! If you are in a state of flow and have energy to spare *use it*. This includes breaking down your task as already described but also preparing your space - this can be a cleaned up desk or a caddy with cleaning supplies in a prominent spot.

And my absolute favorite: Throw a dice. When it is really bad, one thing I can always do is throw a dice (via an app, typing "d20" into the search bar or physically having one on me - which I usually do now). I tell myself that if I "make the roll" I get up and do it and if I don't, I try again in 20 minutes. This changes context easily, removes responsibility from me and makes the whole thing playful. I usually go with a d20 and tell myself to get going with a result over 10. If I have a particularly bad day I might need 15+ to do something. Just try it.

In short, what we are trying to do is

minimize friction by frontloading as much thinking and preparing as we can

make a context change as easy and small as possible

And remember: the goal is never to Always Be Doing Something.

[somuchbetterthanthat]

A Dreamling hug for you all

[somuchbetterthanthat]

There should be a AU where Dream's mother offers a taste to her son of what "a little world with a relationship" would feel like, but in a mindfuckery way where in the story neither dream nor hob (because obviously she just plucks Hob out of his life) fully realize what's happening. I think that would make for a fun interesting story, where they can both at the same time want the relationship, want to get freed of that world, and also Hob categorically refuses that freedom to come at the expanse of Dream's death. So they're running in circles for a while.

Also i love it when characters are put into a new reality and mindfucked about it for a while and slowly piece the story together

[somuchbetterthanthat]

"You can try to hide, you know that I will find you"

imo gabe fully embraces his sorta antagonistic role through I'm Alive and like it establishes him and his influence over the entire Goodman family so well!?

I love the handheld mic and how it is used to connect with the rest of the family in different ways and tbh even the audience. the more threatening tone is just so complex and fun to watch because jack smashes it

anyways proshot tomorrow ahhh!!

[somuchbetterthanthat]

It took me one day thinking back of les misérables to fall back on "what if r started hanging out with the ladies on a genuine level" and I cannot regret it.

[somuchbetterthanthat]

Trying to think of how you could pull off a Grantaire tries the republican way earlier than 5 min before dying.

I do feel the catalyst would be even the most indulgent of his friends being fed up with his rants after 1830, him being thrown out of Le Musain at least once, ranting and raging and disappearing for two weeks because he doesnt need them anyway (he desesperately does), showing up to try to help one time (failing kinda), trying to appeal to enjolras just like put the dominoes scene kinda earlier and enjolras does give him a chance and he /fails again/, prompting this Enjolras to be like you dont believe in anything and grantaire going you'll see, before promptly falling into another week of drunken stupor, waking up to hear that some of the girls were bothered and hes like im the only one allowed to be an arse here? Ive got nothing else so im claiming THAT role and he ends up helping Louison or Matelote & Gibelote.

By this point things with les amis have cooled down a bit and a few are enquiring about where the hell is grantaire coz he is an arse but he's their arse, you know? So Joly and Bossuet explain he is being adopted by ladies and grisettes, which he is, of course, going to be unsufferable about it later (no matter the fact he is, of course, involved with zero of them).

Someone by this point should start writing two plotlines, one with les amis, one with r and the girls, and R finds he does feel better when he does a few things here and there, and he is good enough at being the worst that he and the girls begin to become kinda spies on the royalists coz who would suspect THEM? And r listening to the royalists is like. God. I thought my friends were insufferable about politics but at least they're good.

They want to do good.

(I want to do good).

Then plotlines intervene in this big mash up scene, r gives hints to his friends about like. An ambush on le musain, maybe there is a fight and enjolras and r end up fighting together, they get arrested and r rants and rants and enjolras, mr 'i will give so many chances' Enjolras /listens/ and he is like. R. R is that a hint of conviction in your voice. And r is like how dare you?? But then, softly, tenderly, he mutters i told you i could. I told you you'd see.

And enjolras slowly blinks, and smiles, and squeezes his hand lightly.

And then more stuff happen, probably.

[somuchbetterthanthat]

//

i cant kill myself because im the one with the tickets for the activities we plan with friends next week. plus it would probably ruin their vacation all together. but also right now i have so many multitudes of things i should do and haven't done even tho i had a fucking week to do them that my brain is telling me the easiest and morally suitable thing to do is, in fact, to kill myself, right now, and stop being the stupid useless little shit i will forever be.

side note: i don't think the birth control is helping the emotional waves at all. I think the birth control might very well be making me worse. but then again i'm also a week into doing nothing with myself so maybe blaming birth control is the easy way out. I don't know. I don't even know why im rambling here. its so stupid. its so stupid and i cant do nothing and

[somuchbetterthanthat]

i'm amazed by how well I manage to self-sabotage without fail every single time. its been more than thirty years of existence and a third of it in therapy and have i learnt ANYTHING? No. not one single thing.

[somuchbetterthanthat]

They're recruiting

[somuchbetterthanthat]

hello enjoltaire nation, today I give you another offering