#i just think about it constantly for some fucking reason

[crybabybat]

This got some really fucking annoying reblogs while I wasn’t watching it so:

“Nobody should be allowed to make irreversible health decisions while in distress (suicidal) or under the age of 25, PERIOD”

1. You didn’t read the post. You literally didn’t take a single thing in.

2. I started testosterone at 16 years old. I would have killed myself otherwise. If that sounds like proof that I shouldn’t have been allowed to start T to you, all that tells me is that you have never felt compassion for a trans person and you haven’t thought about dysphoria for more than 5 minutes.

3. Nobody bats a fucking eye when cis people make irreversible decisions under 25! Cis people are going on HRT and getting gender affirming surgeries fucking constantly!! Intersex kids are getting forced to take hormones literally every day to “correct” traits their bodies naturally produce!! You literally only give a shit when it’s trans people accessing joy!

4. Shut up. Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up

“Do therapy about it first, at very least”

I saw multiple therapists! I was in therapy pretty much constantly ages 14-18. I was legally required to see a special gender therapist for a certain amount of time before she would refer me to a doctor I had to see three times at least before he’d let my parents sign the papers to allow me to start taking testosterone.

“Okay but you can become infertile and that’s a huge and major and devastating side effect that no one could possibly want. This is a trump card”

1. Literally every single doctor prescribing hormones will tell you this first and offer solutions to preserve your eggs/sperm.

2. This might shock you. But many people will be or become infertile for reasons including, but not limited to, the ways their bodies naturally produce hormones. This does not need to be fixed unless the individual wishes for it to be, and is not inherently a defect.

3. HRT actually does a terrible job at making you infertile. Like it cannot be used as birth control because even after SEVERAL years of being on hormones, the vast majority of trans people can still reproduce if they haven’t had other procedures that affect their ability to.

4. Treating people like their ability to reproduce and give birth is more important than their happiness and right to change their bodies how they wish, is fucking insane. You sound so fucking stupid.

I said I think people should be able to access hrt more freely and generally feel more inspired to try it out for a few months if it sounds like something they might benefit from. I think everybody has the right to informed consent and autonomy, including children. 3 months of HRT is not going to make anybody infertile, it probably isn’t even long enough for your voice to drop if it’s T, and it certainly isn’t long enough for breasts to grow on E. I ALSO didn’t say that doctors should stop discussing potential side effects, such as infertility, with patients, to the same degree that they’d discuss them with any other medication. I just think it’s actually fucking fine if people want to try it out! If it works that’s awesome, if it doesn’t work you can stop! Fuck!!!

I will never understand how cis people widely continue to see HRT as a huge decision that needs years of consideration and should only be used as a last resort for minors if they’re on the edge of suicide, and other things of this nature.

Like your body already has those hormones. It’s already doing that. It’s okay. They’re just hormones, you can play around and see what you like, what feels right. It’s literally fine. Changes to our bodies and voices and genitals and things are already an inherent part of being human.

It’s the weight that’s put on the decision to go on HRT that manufactures the major concerns of regret. If you decide it’s not for you and you’re upset because your body has been altered in a way that doesn’t feel good to you, that’s the same as getting a tattoo you don’t love, or breaking a bone, or being injured in some other way, or aging, or even getting a bad haircut. It is not automatically more horrific because it has to do with the perceived presentation of your gender. Hope this helps 👍🏼

[genderqueerdykes]

i am deeply frightened and frustrated and need to talk about my physical health for a bit

all throughout this year, i have been struggling with digestion and other gastrointestinal health issues. i got my gallbladder removed a few months ago, which helped tremendously to reduce the amounts of pain i was in, and it helped decrease my nausea by a lot. however, i had a colonoscopy done that showed that i have diverticulosis, which are bulging pockets in the walls of one's intestines. these pockets can cause all kinds of problems, they can get inflamed and infected super easily due to old waste not cycling out of the body correctly

nothing was done about it. the doctor never talked to me to tell me if they were infected or inflamed or not. i was told nothing and sent home. for the past year, i have been having debilitating GI issues. i can barely eat food anymore. nearly every time i eat, no matter what it is, i either become nauseated, or end up having to run to the bathroom shortly afterwards. whenever i have to use the bathroom i come out of it feeling weak, exhausted and sick. the pain in my stomach and intestines has been unbearable.

a few nights ago, i ate some bread the food bank gave me, and it caused me so much lower gut pain that i couldn't move or do much of anything. the amount of foods i can safely consume without becoming sick is slowly becoming less and less. it's to the point where i'm just genuinely scared to eat anymore. i don't really know what to do about it. i feel hysterical, like i'm gonna crack and break into thousands of pieces

i have an appointment scheduled with a good medical group, but the soonest they were able to get me into their GI department for an appointment is May of 2025. if i'm struggling this hard to eat now, i have no idea what's going to happen in the next 5 months. i'm so tired of having to worry constantly before every bite of food i eat if i'm going to become sick and spend my entire day in the bathroom.

i hate the american medical system so much. i hate how gross i feel all the time and that there's nothing i can do about it. its getting to the point where i might go to the ER again. i don't really know what else to do, i still can't eat food. i got my gallbladder removed, but i still can't eat. that was only part of the problem. i hate that the rest of it was just completely ignored. if i'm constantly complaining about lower GI symptoms and i have diverticulosis, there's a good chance that is the reason why my lower gut is so miserable. but just ignore it, i'm fat, so it doesn't matter if i can't eat. i'm sure they think it's good for me to eat less. fucking christ.

[sleepyskeleton-0]

SPOILERS FOR STH 3!!!

Scene analysis (heavily focused on Knuckles).

So there’s this scene in Sonic 3 in London where Sonic decides that despite their initial intentions to never use the master emerald anymore, he insists on using it for vengeance (after Shadow hurts Tom).

In this scene Sonic and Knuckles stand head to head and get worked up to the point where they’re charging up their powers, (Tails in kinda in the middle trying to calm them both down).

I got emotional in this scene, like full on tears in my eyes for a split second. Let me tell you why:

This is the scene that shows Knuckles’ endless patience for Sonic and Tails.

We know as an audience that Knux is always eager to go into battle, perhaps even too eager, but when it comes to his siblings, he’s always patient. So when Sonic tries to start a fight with him, he gets riled up at first but then takes a moment to calm himself down.

He refrains from hurting his brother and instead tries to talk to him calmly, to reason with him.

And if that’s not an oldest sibling strait I honestly don’t know what is.

I don’t think some people realise how hard it is to stay calm when your younger siblings are angering you. Like not teasing but properly pissing you off, especially if your sibling is a younger teenager (think 11-14 or 15).

At some point, you as the oldest have to realise that you have to be the calm one because naturally, teens are hormonal as shit and they can’t really help it (sometimes). We’ve all been there and we all know what it feels like to get wound up easily as a kid, and as an oldest child, you didn’t have someone who would calmly deal with you. Your parents would just get angry or chalk it up to a phase, so it’s either too much discipline or none at all for their first kid, then leave them to deal with the others when they grow up (obviously this isn’t the case with the trio here bc they were all taken in as teens so it’s different - the attention Tom and Maggie would’ve shown to them as babies and children are being shown now that they’re actually a family).

So shout out to all my oldest siblings out there, including Knuckles, because it’s like constantly taking punches to the face and actively remaining steady on your feet without letting your anger get the best of you.

This especially goes for a traumatic or high anxiety situation, like Tom’s injury. Sonic’s love for him and his worry and regret is consuming him in this moment and throwing him into a blind rage. Tails is also really worried, and as the youngest, it goes without saying that you try to cushion any pain as much as possible, so he’s not gonna be expected to help. Who’s left then? To help deal with Sonic? Knuckles.

He realises Sonic’s having a hard time, knows what it feels like to lose loved ones, understands the worry of “will they return home?” and how the reality of the situation can hit at any moment and how crippling it can be.

So Knuckles swallows his pride and tries to reason with Sonic.

And it’s really fucking hard to do that. Especially when being put in this position.

This rant feels repetitive but I have to get it out there just how hard it is to do this. At the end of the day, even if we are the oldest sibling, even if we have an obligation to be the bigger person, we still have feelings. All this emotional burden is gonna build up. It’s not anyone’s fault, it’s just the position we were born in. It’s our job to be that pillar of strength for our younger siblings, but if you keep throwing small stones at a pillar, eventually it’ll start to chip and crumble. So to have the strength to remain steady is the real superpower.

Like holy shit, talk about dual burden. Knux is also feeling the pain of potentially losing Tom, but he’s still there to comfort and protect his family and also shoulder his own difficult emotions. Because no one was there to do that for him when he needed it the most. He may never have anyone to protect him quite like that, and an older sibling will protect their younger ones even if it means making sacrifices. Remember that parents don’t have the same effect as siblings. Adults can only have so much understanding, but growth moves with the times, and each coming generation develops in unique ways, so grown ups will never grasp the full extent of the younger generation’s struggles, just as us younger people will never understand what they went through and how they dealt with it.

So props to Knuckles, he really is 1000000% muscle, and his most important muscles, his heart and brain, work together incredibly well. He doesn’t have to be book smart, his emotional intelligence makes up for that.

(Disclaimer: this is just my interpretation so just take it with a grain of salt, also sorry for this utterly incoherent rant, I have feelings about this movie- and this silly little echidna.)

[overtake]

A soft Maxiel Christmas moment | 2k (also on ao3)

CWS: mpreg and the canonical bodily terror of pregnancy

Daniel stares straight ahead at the faux crackling fireplace, his swollen feet propped as close as he can manage without risking them melting off with residual heat. Outside, there’s no majestic snowfall. It’d started briefly yesterday, and for a single minute, with the world a quiet white blanket outside their frosted windows, he felt a moment of peace and sanity.

It’d gone as quickly as it’d come. The temporary relief of fresh snow quickly faded to grey piles and puddles inside pot holes. They’d had to run to the store for last minute items, and Daniel’s mood had quickly soured with every step of his new boots through the slushy squelch. They were brand new for this season, a size up and wider than his old ones because his feet are too fucking big to wear what he already has, and he needed to pad them out because his ankles hurt constantly.

A warm shiver wracks its way through Daniel’s insides, like a hot fan coil has replaced his spine and is boiling his blood from the inside out. He throws off his wool blanket in frustration and tries to heave himself up. Unfortunately, all that brings him is a loud groan before he collapses back into his spot, suddenly sweating and ready to smash every single item in this stupid fucking house to smithereens once he figures out how to stand up again.

He pants for half a second, then uses his hands to shimmy himself along the couch until he’s as far away from the electric fireplace as he can reasonably manage.

Then, all at once, his body’s internal heater shuts off and leaves him shivering again.

“Oh fuck off,” he groans to his round belly. He doesn’t want to grouch at his unborn baby. There are all these studies about when the baby can hear them and how they react to their parent’s mood. It’s why Max says good morning to it before he helps Daniel out of bed. He’ll reverently kiss the bump three times before he leans up to give Daniel four kisses so, “You don’t think I love you less than I love baby.”

That’s what he calls it, baby. They’ve been in gridlock over the name for three months, and Daniel’s argument that he’s the one carrying the back pain and morning sickness falls on deaf ears because Max absolutely fucking hates his name choices. Maybe Daniel didn’t start off great by intentionally antagonizing him with the boy’s name of Dale and waxing poetic about Dale Earnhardt, but Max gave it right back to him by pretending he’d name a child after his father. Safe to say, pregnancy hasn’t brought out the best in them from time to time.

When they’d clasped hands tightly and watched the pregnancy test develop, both pretending they were doing something more dignified than staring at a cup of piss in Max’s plane toilet, Daniel had pictured pregnancy to be full of beautiful moments, some sort of film montage of kitchen dancing and 3d scans and tiny baby shoes.

He hadn’t been totally naive. Michelle had the worst morning sickness through both her pregnancies, and Victoria did not shy away from complaining about all the cruelties her children unleashed on her digestion, hair, and even her nose. Daniel had panic googled that one and immediately regretted it. The last thing he needed on his face was for his nose to get even bigger.

Max had just laughed when he expressed his concerns and kissed the curve of his nose, reassuring Daniel that he’d want him even if it fell right off.

So he knew there’d be hard parts, but he reassured himself that Max being there and the promise of their family together would be enough.

Instead, he’s awake at 4 a.m. on Christmas because he’s gassy and in too much pain to sleep, and the soft snores he used to love from Max made him want to claw off his ears and tear out his hair. He’s constantly overstimulated. Their cunt doctor kept saying things about how geriatric pregnancies are even harder on the body until Daniel refused to keep seeing him if he said the word geriatric one more fucking time.

Worse still, he was banned from flying home. They’d had a whole plan, with Daniel flying out just before it’d be too late term to make such a trip, so he could be around his family until the season ended and Max could join him back in Australia. He’d have a summer Christmas and let their baby be born in his country before he had to take his little family back to Monaco for the new season. It was planned impeccably.

Then the doctors started heming and hawing at his last scan before he left and told him that flying would be a major risk, especially such a long distance. This time, they were wise enough not to add anything about his age.

So now his whole family and Max’s are in a giant ski cabin, taken away from Monaco and the cats so they could all fit in one home, and Daniel had to sit through a 7 hour car ride that turned into 10 with all his toilet stops.

The worst part of all of this is that Max is so patient with him. He massages Daniel’s feet and knows how to tease him about the swelling without hurting Daniel’s feelings. He rubs stretch mark cream on Daniel’s bump, even though he thinks they’re cool and likes to run his fingers up and down the white marks, because he knows Daniel hates them but is too tired to prioritize putting cream on his stomach every day on top of keeping this baby alive. He’s going to be the best dad, and Daniel has to sit grumpy with the knowledge that he’s the pregnant buzzkill ruining Christmas and resenting the child that Max loves more than anything.

He must nod off at some point, because he wakes up vertical on the couch with his head in Max’s lap and a blanket tucked neatly around him to form a Daniel burrito. Max has his feet propped up on the coffee table and is playing classical music, a constant these days because he followed some Instagram parenting accounts that claim it’ll make your baby smart. Daniel’s skeptical, but god knows the baby could use any boost it could get because Daniel’s not handing down much in the way of school smarts.

The house is still silent around them, but light is starting to creep in through the floor-to-ceiling windows. It highlights the silver ring on Max’s finger when Daniel pauses his movements and pulls Max’s hand to his mouth to press a kiss onto the cool metal. His matching one sits around his neck these days, his fingers too constantly varying in size to cover the tan line on his finger. It used to make him bitter to look at Max flaunting the ring Daniel can’t wear, but with some sleep in his system, he feels slightly less like the Grinch.

“Merry Christmas,” Max beams when Daniel lands his kiss and he registers that Daniel’s awake. “I’m going to help your mum make breakfast in a minute, but she’s getting you some cocoa and a moment to ourselves first.”

Max takes one thick finger and carefully thumbs the sleep out of Daniel’s eyes. Daniel’s body is too weighed down by foggy warmth and Max’s love to muster a response. Instead, he turns his face into the meat of Max’s thigh, dutifully clad in the matching pajamas his sister had brought for the whole group, and huffs out a hot breath he hope expresses his gratitude.

Max leans over him to kiss the bump good morning and wish it a, “Merry first Christmas.” Daniel can’t help a spark of warm satisfaction that Max said Merry Christmas to him first, then a flash of guilt and embarrassment that he’s competing with his unborn child on today of all days. Max thinks it’s funny, but Daniel tries to keep most of the thoughts internal.

“I have a gift for you,” Max says. His whole body is curled sideways over Daniel’s so his head can rest on the bump, and he rubs at it absentmindedly.

Daniel raises his eyebrows. “I should hope so. It’s Christmas.”

Max laughs, his crinkly-eyed joyous one that’s lived permanently on his face since they saw the plus sign, but also maybe since the day they both said I do.

“This one is very special,” he says, then dislodges Daniel’s head from his lap for a second so he can fish something out of his pocket and place it into Daniel’s waiting hand.

It’s not wrapped, so Daniel can see it immediately. It’s a picture ornament, small but ornate. The gilded frame showcases Daniel’s bump in the pregnancy photoshoot Victoria had insisted upon. She’d promised Daniel that pregnancy feels like shit for nine months, but you still regret all the moments you didn’t document. Daniel had tolerated about thirty minutes of it and refused to look at the pictures after, but he knows Max loved them. He had them printed and put in a special book, and he’d promised Daniel that he’ll keep it hidden until Daniel’s ready.

“I thought we agreed—“ Daniel says, but the words die out when he reads the little writing at the bottom.

“Joseph/Delilah’s First Christmas,” it reads. Stupidly, Daniel feels himself begin to well up.

“I’m not naming our child Dale,” Max says, wagging a finger in Daniel’s face and giggling when Daniel tearily bites at it. “But Delilah is a close for a girl, I think. And I would probably not name a baby after my dad, but yours.” He shrugs. Daniel’s dad is obsessed with Max. The two of them spent half of winter break fixing up an old motorcycle the first time Daniel had brought him home, and whatever happened in that garage had formed a tight bond between them.

When Daniel doesn’t answer, Max adds, “We can also do Grace, but then it feels like we’re picking a mother, and that’s not nice.”

Daniel clutches the ornament tight to his chest and buries his face tighter into Max’s thigh, blinking into the fabric and letting his tears soak Rudolph’s nose into a damp, dark red.

“Thank you,” he says wetly. He sniffles, then steals Max’s sleeve to wipe his nose with the corner of it. Max doesn’t even reprimand him for it. He’s too busy staring down at Daniel with his gentle, sweet lips tugged into a smile, then pursing them to warn Daniel of an incoming kiss once Daniel’s slightly less snotty.

“I know pregnancy has been really hard,” Max says. His head hovers right over Daniel’s, even though it must be killing his neck to crane it that way. “I love you for not divorcing me for doing this to you.”

Daniel shakes his head. “Hey, there’s a week or two left to go. Don’t count your chickens.”

He pauses, takes in Max’s face. He runs the hand still holding the ornament down the prickle of stubble dotting his soft chin, pokes the freckle decorating his pink lips, admires the morning sun glaring off yesterday’s fallen snow and making Max’s hair glow golden. “Pregnancy has been shit, and I complain a lot, but I’m really excited to be a dad with you. Thank you for this.”

His voice breaks off at the last words, and Max kisses him again. His mouth is cozy like the fireplace heat, and they break into still-kissing giggles when the baby does what feels like a flip of excitement under Max’s resting hand.

Daniel’s mum is probably moments away from interrupting their moment. The kids are all going to be awake any minute now to start tearing into presents, and Daniel will probably be back to being grumpy and overstimulated within the hour.

He pushes what’s to come aside and cuddles into his husband’s loving arms and lets himself feel temporarily alight with gratitude.

(“So it might not even be a boy, but you still get all the credit of having maybe named a child after him?” Michelle hisses later, smacking Daniel’s arm as their dad hugs Max and cries. “Dickhead. Was it not enough to become a millionaire racing driver? You’re not invited for Christmas next year.”)

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

I have a question about Catradora, what do you think of the argument that they were in a war and were enemies?

i think i've talked about this before but i don't mind saying it again. the whole “they were enemies” argument doesn't work for three reasons:

1. there was a huge power dynamic between catra and adora.

in any other case, enemies are usually neck and neck. even if one of the characters is weaker than the other, there is still the same level of animosity towards each other. sometimes the writer balances it out by making one character smarter and the other one stronger.

but not c//a. oh no no, catra has to be the one who is stronger and smarter. and like i said, the funny thing in spop is that adora is canonically stronger than catra and literally everyone else but for some reason, she keeps getting her ass kicked by catra. it makes no sense. even if she was holding herself back and trying not to hurt catra, she should still be able to defend herself. there was no need to make her so weak.

2. their relationship was toxic even when they were on the same side.

catra constantly expected adora to put her needs above her own, she was jealous of adora's achievements, she literally slaps and gaslights adora in the portal sequence where they were supposed to be still friends.

3. their relationship was too personal.

usually the "they were enemies" argument works only if,

a. the two individuals don't know each other and therefore think that the other side is evil (like glimmer and adora), or

b. they were forcefully turned against each other despite not wanting to hurt each other.

neither of this is the case with c//a. especially catra. it would make sense if catra was forced to fight adora, and she had no choice in the matter. but no, all of her decisions were her own and she absolutely enjoyed torturing the fuck out of adora.

not to mention, catra usually only targeted adora. she rarely ever targeted bow or glimmer or any of the princesses, and if she did, it was to get back at adora. this was because catra was taking out her personal grudge on adora, rather than fighting an enemy.

so yeah, that's why this argument doesn't work. this is not what the enemies to lovers trope embodies, and fans who say "you just don't understand the trope" hasn't seen a real enemies to lovers ship.

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

updated and improved "all the fears want arthur lester carnally" list

just a general tally of influence/Marks arthur would have received if you were playing by TMA rules. enhanced with further contemplation and with some peer review from @luci-z-wont-shut-up thankyouuu

the eye

VERY dedicated private investigator. consistently more invested in Solving The Mystery than, like, Remaining Alive

was magic-stalked by the KIY and his cult throughout season 1

also kayne was watching his whole life and taking notes to roast him about his trauma later. apparently

something something metanarrative implications of an audience gathering around just to watch you suffer

the spiral

possessed by a god of madness (twice) (three times?) (possibly more depending on how you count?)

was held hostage in a fake dream-realm mental institution with fucked up architecture so one of the aforementioned madness gods could pry information out of him (which also gets cryptically described as "Here, there, everywhere, nowhere. Anywhere." which is sooo the spiral-coded)

relies on someone else to be his eyes so there's always the lingering background awareness that he may be missing or outright misrepresenting information & consequently he can't trust what he sees

the end

he's died.

multiple times.

there's also the omnipresent threats on his life but mostly just that. like. he's been The Ended. doesn't get much more direct than that

the stranger

i still think "losing parts of your body to another consciousness while they are still attached to you" is VERY the stranger type activities

the king in S1 turning any weak-willed bystanders against him so any stranger could turn into a threat without warning

also, the king and scratch posing as normal people, even people he knows sometimes!

orbited by a cast of nonhuman Entities remaking their identities into something closer to humanity for one reason or another (john, yellow, scratch, kayne) and frequently not quite hitting the mark (ty luci)

the lonely

general sense of alienation from his peers that started young and—just vibe checking here, just taking a general temperature—doesn't seem to have gotten much better over time

"I want him safe." / "You want him back." / "...Yes." <- guy who can totally handle being alone

john left and he went fully off the deep end in the span of like, a day

it's just one of those things that i think he hates and is terrified of but also is constantly haunted by

the desolation

the whole vibe of the death/destruction specifically of things that could have brought meaning to the world, or people who had a lot to live for and could have touched other lives and had an effect on others, is... um. (gestures vaguely at the. all of them)

will do LITERALLY ANYTHING to avoid losing anyone else.

also pain. i feel like pain takes a thematic backseat but it is still a part of the desolation and good lord is this man in so much pain basically all the time

one time he did an arson at an in-progress building site and left a guy bleeding out in the ruins!! desolation come get your juice

also independently invented molotovs so he could use them to kill a different thing which was perhaps divine inspiration straight from the lightless flame itself??

the slaughter

start with parker's death and just work your way down from there tbh

the butcher confrontation "Whose life did you take without provocation, without threat? Who did you kill that was innocent?" vs the slaughter's "random, senseless, unmotivated violence"

also knowing that pain and death are coming but not where or when or how. Yup 👍

just. in general. he has been wading through his own and other people's blood in equal measure since the start of the damn show

had to hide in a pit full of rotting corpses that one time

the vast

timelines! go confront how meaningless your entire life is in the face of the uncaring multiverse! have a quick crisis about it! fuck meaning!

i still don't have a whole lot for this one tbh

he can't stop falling off things obviously but i don't think he's particularly scared of that. i think he's resigned to it. balance is a fickle beast and he has accepted that it does not return his affections.

one time a kraken almost drowned him?

the buried

known claustrophobe!

almost got pinned in a cave, unable to move, on multiple different occasions!

this man and caves in general have a very very bad relationship. they keep making him be underground and then terrible things happen to him down there.

drowning goes here also :)

the dark

"Funny. Before all of this, I used to fear the dark. Not in any crippling way, but – but now it’s… well, now it’s no different."

used to be unnerved by the dark and now he is blind. checks out

also, the dark world. it's in the name, baby. that's more john's fear but i think it has to rub off on him at least a little bit

the corruption

eeeeverything that happened with the witch. she tried to use him to breed maggots. now that's what i call Corrupt™

horig, also

obsessive, almost self-destructive levels of devotion to an entity that killed his friend and wrecked his life. listen i'm supportive i think they're perfect for each other in an ESH way i'm just saying this probably also falls into the corruption's purview (ty luci)

ESPECIALLY considering john lives in his body like a parasite. not trying to be derogatory here but like, on an objective level. he is stealing his body parts. and arthur loves him. again, incredibly on-brand for the corruption

the web

he Doesn't Like Being Told What To Do >:[

ongoing vendetta against cult shit for this exact reason

the idea of not having fully free will seems to be very actively and deeply concerning for him

"I am the captain of my soul" and so on and so forth

got literally brainwormed by The Creature back in addison (twice!)

the flesh

Michael Fucking Faust

also, had to bite his own finger off before that. in case you needed or wanted some bonus points

the hunt

HOO BOY has he ever been Hunted. so many times by so many different things. take your fucking pick

also: "You are hunting." / "Predators need to be hunted." <- basically an active prayer to the hunt

this man is prey animal rage incarnate honestly. go!! lose yourself in the bloodlust!! kill them before they can kill you!!!!

john would really appreciate it if he was a little Less cozy with the hunt tbh :(

the extinction

i'm actually not counting this one bc it doesn't take avatars and also doesn't rrrreally exist yet

he's lived through a world war and a pandemic. how's that. i think that's as good as it gets.

CONCLUSION: i still think arthur should go shake hands with the vast and get carried off by a bird and hope that gets the rest of these assholes to fuck off. i think it's his best bet atp.

[causal-anomaly]

I'm a pre-T trans man. I have been a victim of misogyny, because I was, y'know, seen as a woman for the first sixteen years of my life, and still have to deal with some of its forms every so often- toxic masculinity is a byproduct of misogyny, after all.

Now I'm mostly seen as a man by people I interact with- I still present as a woman when leaving the house for safety reasons, but I can always bank on the stupid little christian girl disguise getting me out of trouble if, say, someone takes issue with something I say and throws a fit. I have an out- it requires reinforcing misogyny, sure, but if it's that or coming out to a cop, I know which one I'm taking, and that's damn near the only situation I'm pulling it out for, because I hate that mask- it's what was forced on me most of my life, after all.

The fact that there's so many other trans men who'd rather completely accept that bioessentialist role of hapless victim, incorporate it into their daily lives and identity as men, then twist it into a weapon against trans women is fucking disgusting- and I don't know if it makes me more sad or angry that so many of them somehow don't seem to realize that's what they're doing, particularly the slew of literal teenagers who have decided their hill to die on is attacking trans women for talking about their experiences on their own blogs.

Are a lot of them bitter and mean? Well, duh- I was a bitter asshole at 13, when everyone I knew was constantly making cracks at me not being a real person, just a narcissist, a robot, dozens of other names hurled at me simply for existing, but mostly people just thought I was a bitch who didn't know her place. Turns out when a bunch of teenagers are yelling at you for existing, you probably don't feel like being very nice to them- I held my head up, learned to enjoy my own company, and contented myself with being smarter than them.

I got to grow up, realize I'm a man, and escape that cycle- no, I don't pass, but I put a male name and my personality disorder in my bio, and most people either don't care, or block me and vague about narcissists getting too comfortable. Either way, I don't have to deal with them.

Trans women do not get that privilege- every move they make is scrutinized, and sooner or later, someone will find something they can interpret as being just a bit too haughty and crack down on her with all the righteous fury of a Texan calling the police on someone for being topless inside their own home. Yes, that's a crime here, if you have a window in the front of your house. I mean, what if there's a child walking by with binoculars? Obviously, we can't have children knowing bare breasts exist, then they might think having a body isn't a sin.

You can be a man and not be a misogynist- but if you can't accept that trans women are women, and are thus affected by misogyny, you will never succeed in breaking the cycle- all you'll do is reinforce it.

Ignorance is only bliss for the ones with their eyes closed- and trans women and other transfeminine folks have been the ones thrown under the bus time and time again for far too long.

[armandluvrrr]

So we have a character who is being forced by a police captain to play detective/spy/lock picker in order to avoid going to prison because he's all his little brother has. All Kant knew about Bison going in was that he was cute, a good lay and a hitman who needed to be taken down to get to the big fish. Now as he gets to know Bison more he's still set on sending Bison to prison bc the captain is on his ass constantly but part of him is softening towards him. He's scared of Bison because he knows he kills people, yes but someone lays on your chest talking about their plans and feelings for you you'll at least feel guilty about wanting to put them away. Especially if he's super invested in your little brother's safety, the entire reason you're using to justify your betrayal. Then we have this other character, a hitman whose solitary parental figure has been manipulating from childhood to mould into a killing machine. I think people forget Bison and Fadel believe they're killing bad people. Whether they know that their mother gains something out of these murders is still to be determined. Despite believing that the people they kill deserve it, Bison wants out so he can live a normal life preferably with Kant. Whether he's aware of Kant's motives on some level we don't know. What we do know is that Bison doesn't want to be scary to Kant. He wants out so he can present his "true" self to Kant. But my point is it's really annoying for First and Khao to put on these really good performances every week just for people to reduce them to well Kant is manipulative, Bison is a killer, they both drugged people 🙄like shut up oh my fucking God. The point is they're both doing shitty things yes. But your job as the audience is not to judge their actions but to try and understand their motivations, what they hope to get out of it, what they'd rather be doing, how their feelings will affect their actions in future and so forth. Bison murdered someone and it's wrong? Aawww did you figure that out all by yourself🥺 We have two people who will eventually hurt each other no matter what. They will both have their reasons. Can we focus on that? How are they going to get to the other end of this??? I'm losing my mind.

[quigzahhutt]

📓!

Put "📓" or some other version of a book emoji into my inbox and I'll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven't written but daydream about!

ok. have you ever watched parent trap. yeah this is basically that but with Franco and sargebon

I like to think that Franco is definitely aware of how much Alex cares about Logan. he's such a little fanboy that theres no way he hasn't noticed the difference in how Alex treats him vs how Alex treated Logan. it doesn't upset Franco at all because. well. if he was horribly in love with his teammate and then said teammate gets replaced by this new kid? yeah Franco would feel a little constipated too

so I imagine that Franco goes into this completely unaware of how badly Logan's replacement actually hit Alex. hes mostly just focused on his own lane and i mean. can you really blame him? he just achieved his dream at 21 years old; he gets to represent his country at a level of competition that nobody has done since the early 2000s. Franco has way more to worry about than the life of the guy who he just replaced

and it sucks, sure. Franco liked Logan a lot; he helped him in Silverstone, he made sure that Franco felt comfortable in the car and the garage and the team environment. Logan was really the first teammate Franco had in williams, in a strange way, so of course he feels sad that Logan was let go in the way he was, but this is in inherently selfish sport. he can't allow himself to dwell on these things

but then he starts seeing how affected Alex is. how he's constantly snuffing out francos jokes with these pitiful little laughs, or how he just seems generally constipated around him, swallowing things down every now and again like he doesn't even want to humor Franco. its a little funny, because before, Alex had no issue joking around and including Franco in their little bits, so something has obviously changed

and so Franco starts trying to solve the puzzle, figure out why Alex is being so flaky. he maybe asks around with george or even James, because he seriously can't be the only one who's noticing this, right? and then someone points out that Alex isn't really acting all that different around them, so maybe it's just a Franco thing

and that kind of turns into a spiral because. well. Franco really likes Alex, and it kind of really sucks that Alex doesn't like him, and what did Franco even do? he hasn't even really hung out with Alex except for videos, or maybe the few times he was with Logan-

oh. now that's a thought

and Franco has the brilliant idea to talk to Logan instead. it's nothing pushy or suggestive, more just... checking on him. because Franco really does care about Logan, and he feels kind of silly now for not even thinking of checking on Logan before

they talk and Logan seems okay, maybe not great but he's better than Alex, that's for sure. maybe. well maybe not. because when Franco says something about Alex, the three little dots keep disappearing and reappearing before Logan eventually just... stops typing, and leaves Franco on read for a few days. and then weeks. and then, fuck, Franco is back to square one

and so maybe Franco brings Logan up to Alex one day to just test the waters, ask if they've talked at all recently, and Alex gets really tense, and asks why hes bringing him up now, or why he thinks that its relevant. its already done; Logan is back in the US already and Franco is here now and so it doesn't matter and he should just leave Alex alone

but this is Franco. and Franco is stubborn and charismatic and so of course he manages to get through to Alex, and it's maybe a whole big thing, maybe it isn't. Alex is upset, but not at Franco, it's more just residual... bad vibes. like Alex ate something funny and for whatever reason it's all Logan's fault

and then shit keeps happening, and the weekends are getting harder, and in a weird way it doesn't take as much of a toll as Franco expected. if anything, the difficulty helps him and Alex get closer, and it doesn't feel like Alex hates him anymore because now at least he's talking to him

and because Franco is stupid and doesn't always think about what he's saying, he eventually just asks what happened with Logan because, y'know, him and Alex are maybe friends now? and although Franco asks, he kind of has an idea about what happened already

he assumes that Alex and Logan had something more going on, the kind of relationship in motorsports that Franco never really had with someone because he could never stick around long enough. Franco was always one of those drivers that went between teams and series and yeah he has friends, but he's kind of okay with it just staying like that

so he can't really understand how Alex feels, but it's kind of eating him up, and then when he asks it's.. fine. it's chill. maybe Alex sighs a little louder than normal, but then he explains everything. how him and Logan were together but not really, how Alex knows that he loves Logan a lot more than Logan does for him

and Franco feels really silly because I mean. watching from a distance, it didnt look like that at all, because Logan looked like he loved Alex a lot, and he seemed absolutely devastated when Franco asked about it. its a strange thing to think that Logan doesn't like Alex at all

and Franco says that. obviously. because his brain to mouth barrier doesn't really exist, and Alex laughs right in his face, which Franco kind of expected because thats usually what people do when he says something without thinking, but then Alex stops laughing and begins looking horribly constipated (again)

Franco decides to shut up after that, which is vaguely impressive for him considering he has about twice the amount of questions he had before all of this. so instead of bothering Alex (who looks REALLY sad now) with those questions, he bothers Logan instead. and maybe its because they're talking through text, but he seems considerably more comfortable answering said questions, which is nice because it helps Franco realize that. oh god. there has been a horrible miscommunication

Logan thinks that Alex was getting tired of him, that he was getting sick of Logan's dwindling energy, but Alex thinks that Logan didn't love him. and Franco thinks that both of them are colossal idiots. and so he hatches a plan

he's going to get them back together. somehow. he doesn't actually know how but what he does know is that Logan just got employed so he might be in high spirits which will make this all a lot easier. hopefully

cue an awful lot of blunders and hijinks in which Franco tries and somewhat fails, somewhat succeeds in getting Logan and Alex to interact, and one thing leads to another and the both of them eventually realize that they got it all wrong and that maybe Alex does want Logan around and that Logan loves Alex in the same way and it's all thanks to franco

[mod2amaryllis]

who else haunted by an apology you never got the chance to make???? 🤪🤪🤪

[crookedfivefingers]

3.13 | ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʟᴏʀᴅꜱ

link to the post I accidentally wound up prattling endlessly about in the tags 💀

[autisticrosewilson]

So do you guys actually think that Jason's entire story, relationship to the others, and philosophy amounts to him being a rebellious teen who wants his dad's attention? Like are you 100% serious? I thought you were joking about that but too many of you are saying it with your whole chest.

And what the fuck is this "Bruce antagonizing Jason is fanon!" Shit I've been seeing? You guys are aware that a parent can love their kid and still be a shit parent right? I know you guys don't want to fathom the thought that maybe your blorbo might also occasionally have to face responsibility for consistently endangering children but let's not start being delusional now.

Bruce does love his kids, that doesn't mean that he hasn't hurt them. And I'd also argue that for the most part he feels in the right for it, and he's said multiple times that he believes it's for their own good, so you can't even argue that he's sorry about it. It's okay for you guys to admit that your PERSONAL INTERPRETATION of the character wouldn't do that but don't sit here and pretend that it's not a facet of the source.

[alxastrx]

When you're one of the most selfish mc who only saves people because it's part of a job you never wanted and did not get to chose or you would've died, who took your co-workers' morals and ideals because you didn't have any and desperately wanted to fit in somewhere, be it with the heroes or the villains, who's activelly haunted by one the most tragic past to have been created and suffer from a psychosis so bad (dare I say schizophrenia) that even your enemies acknowledged that you are mentally ill and objectively flawed in your judgement, never hesitated to try to kill anyone and has the most egoistic reason to be a good person but the fandom still thinks you're just a kind crybaby "I don't know what a gun is" homosexual twink.

[reel-fear]

Genuinely so curious who Mike thinks is gonna be buying The Cage or the new DCTL GN bc with the way he tweets as far as he's concerned, it's not gonna be:

The queer people he has actively admitted he will never show any representation of in the games.

2. The POC he has actively fought against representing in his franchise. [Who he also mocked for thinking they would be represented in his franchise]

3. The Bendy fandom which has always been concerned with topics of diversity esp in the sense of queer people since its creation. Who he has responded to really poorly esp in regards to the GN.

4. The fans who critique him. [He blocked me for doing so lol]

5. His fans in general who he tweets about like this currently. [He's being vague about why people were mad at him or sent him 'nasty messages' because if you actually looked into why you'd see he was in the wrong. Either way, a very hateful way to speak abt ur own fanbase.]

Reminder while Mike is trash talking his fans he has always treated them rather poorly. The fans who won the fanart contest for Chapter 5 never got their posters actually in game due to it being rushed. Not only was chapter 5 a big slap to the face story wise, but it was literally so rushed he couldn't be bothered to add in the art his fans gave him for his game FOR FREE. [Meatly blames this on a crazy timeline, reminder him and Mike are the literal ceos of this company. The proposal of future updates here is also pretty cruel considering Mike nowadays happily admits he corrupted Chapter 5's source code and therefore literally can't update it At All currently. Because he is a moron]

At least they got to be in Boris and the dark survival, and by that I mean that was the Only game they got to be in so far, isn't that just treating your fans like you love them? Shoving their hard work into a spin off game almost nobody has played or addresses much. [Hell, who knows if with the Lone Wolf rebrand they'll even stay there. In which case they'll be in None of the games, only in the credits of BATIM]

6. The Bendy fans who just generally disagree with him on stuff. Like the new ink demon design where there is literally a public poll showing people generally prefer the old one.

7. The Bendy fans who can see he is actively lying to them. To their fucking faces.

He says this has always been the case, but screenshots and links to tweets regarding the books being canon prove it was not. Does he really think bendy fans are stupid or something? [Unless he's admitting here he lied to Kress when he told her the books were canon which sounds worse!]

8. Anyone who doesn't like the idea of giving money to a guy who laid off tons of employees then afterwards thought it was a great idea to express his anti-union views! Also brag about how good of an employer he was, according to his employees, he was not!

So in summary; Mike is an awful person who has not learned anything from the awful things he did. I will not be purchasing The Cage because, combined with this and his absolute refusal to take any kind of critique or see any differing interpretation of his franchise, I have no reason to think my problems with the franchise will ever be addressed or fixed. I probably will pirate The Cage along with any future Bendy Products [Including the movie] and will do my best to avoid giving it any kind of monetary support. Unless this changes any time soon, I can't see myself making anymore positive Bendy posts soon.

Mike has just managed to make it so hard to speak positively or optimistically of this franchise when he's so willing to broadcast how little he cares about it or its fans. I'm at the point where I refuse to pull any of my punches with my problems with it. What's the point of trying to play nice with my critique when either way the people creating it don't care?

So with this post, I want to invite anyone who feels similarly about the franchise to tell me, make a post or send an ask talking about how all of this makes you feel. It may not change how things are, but genuinely seeing other people share my feelings of anger makes me feel better. It feels nice to see when other people share our same concerns and worries. I'd also love to know if anyone else thinks they'll be avoiding purchasing Bendy products over this.

I'm not forcing anyone to participate in it nor trying to say anyone who doesn't supports mike but genuinely maybe if we can collectively decide to boycott things like the movie, graphic novel and The Cage... It might at least make the bendy devs acknowledge how much they have destroyed their own fandom's faith and trust in them.

The way Mike tweets about his actions like he had no control over why people were mad at him at least proves to me he takes NONE of it back nor regrets it. If you didn't know about his actions and only went off his tweets, you would be led to believe Mike has been needlessly picked apart by fans over things he couldn't control [or in his own words, had his words twisted and taken out of context]. That is not how you speak about your actions if you have actually learned better from them.

anyway, that has been my bendy dev callout post. This is an open invitation to anyone feeling similarly upset about the way the franchise is going to talk about it. It's genuinely nice to see how people feel about this and the more we talk about the more it's likely the bendy devs are forced to address our concerns. I don't think they will but hey, that's why I'm not gonna support them with my money anymore nor am I gonna be nice to them in any content I make critiquing Bendy. I mean I'm also basically making this post just in case anyone asks me Why I feel this way towards to bendy devs/as a way to respond to anyone who thinks I am too harsh in my critique in the future.

As always, it seems the best part of Bendy isn't actually anything about canon but about what the fan's are creating with the ideas Bendy failed to do anything interesting with.

Also the books, the books slap.

[mercutiotakethewheel]

Kendra, inwardly: Omg I am so scared right now. I’m going to die here. This freakyass magical creatures about to do me in. And could do so easily, which I am imagining very vividly right now. Those are huge teeth. I am fighting god to hold it together right now. I don’t want to die. Why am I here? Just to suffer, every night I close my eyes and—

Kendra, outwardly: I cast vicious mockery.

[icewindandboringhorror]

sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:

thing that I already do

thing I have tried 10 times

thing I already do

thing that I don't have the money to do

thing I already do

thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail

thing that is impossible given my situation

thing that doesn't apply to me

thing that I already do

thing I have already tried

hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently

thing I have already done