#i just disguised a random link

[steambot-shenanigans]

The incredible Inky Becile!

She may have been created as a copycat, but that’s not his fault!

Learn more about Becile Industries’ newest hydropower automaton!

Powerful purpose!

Created in 2011 by Becile Industries as a response to Steam Powered Giraffe getting a gig at the San Diego Zoo, Inky was designed to play music at the Birch Aquarium in La Jolla California! We couldn’t let our “friends” at Walter Robotics have all the fun! He was programmed with a love for music and all the creatures of the sea!

Magnificent Magnetism!

His chassis makes good use of electromagnetism and is fully covered in Ferro Fluid, that can be shaped how she wants by changing the strength of the current through certain parts of her plating! His favorite thing to do is shape her arms and head to look more like an octopus or squid! She can form a mouth on her face, but he doesn’t have a jaw, just speakers, so he usually just doesn’t appear to have a mouth at all. The only feature that never changes is a pair of big glowing green photoreceptors that are the cutest and most expressive part of her.

Hydropower!

Due to the magnetization of the ferro fluid decreasing the more the temperature of the paramagnetic material increases, he cannot be powered by steam or coal, due to the heat it generates, so his genius inventor rigged a system to use the green matter to cause water to move and flow perpetually in his core, spinning a rotor to generate the electricity she needs to function! Environmentally friendly AND practical!

Clever Clothing!

Inky knows herself to be of two genders, and as such, uses the pronouns he and she! His only adornment—due to the discomfort of wearing clothes overtop of the gelatin-like ferro fluid—is a snazzy green bow. Masculine bow tie or feminine hair bow? The article can serve both purposes as this bot can maneuver it with ease to where it needs to be using his expertly manipulated ferro fluid coating!

Rocking Repertoire!

Inky the automaton can play and sing a wide variety of songs, all things that have to do with the water and the creatures that live in it! She has a combined programming of covers and songs he wrote himself with his very own composition software! You could find her rocking out on her pretty purple electric guitar, serenely strumming a ukulele, or even striking the keys of a keyboard.

But this tale is a tragic one!

Our innocent little Inky was laid off from his place of employment at the aquarium because of her appearance, which the staff described as “creepy” and “like if venom and kuthulu had a small robot child”, which we here at Becile industries think is very unfair to the poor kid. Everyone who’s gotten a chance to know her has said she is polite, friendly, and energetic! He may not be perfect, but what 13 year old boy/girl is?

You can help!

If you want to help our robot, look for him when he busks around the San Diego area, or if you aren’t local, you can support her and her robot siblings at Becileindustries.com, or check out https://tinyurl.com/InkyInfo-BecileIndustries for more information! And finally, if you just want our correspondent to pass on a message her way, you can message the blog that sent this informational post, and our crew will tell him what you wanted him to hear!

[phoenixcatch7]

It's always funny to me when in an lu fic the chain is offered bananas and don't accept them. Like, you're offering these high energy adventures free food?? Fruit they'll have never even heard of before??? A ridiculously expensive imported good at best?? AND it boosts your attack?

Not ONE of these idiots would ever turn down something new and interesting to eat at least once. They'd be all over those bananas and immediately get dubbed yiga and I'm honestly surprised no one has used it in a fic yet 🤭

[faerievampling]

A Vampire's Courage

Summary: The Dark Urge and Spawn!Astarion, after having decided to remain friends, have been traveling together after the defeat of the Netherbrain. One night, an opportunity strikes, and Astarion makes his move.

Pairing: Spawn!Astarion x Female Dark Urge

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: 18+, Explicit. PiV. Oral Sex. Vaginal Fingering.

Here's the link to AO3!

It was nice to know Astarion watched you as you slept, because the nightmares never really went away. After you refused your birthright, your nightmares simply became about the nightmares that Bhaal had plagued you with. 

When you and Astarion began to travel alone, it became something you both needed just so you could rest. It reminded him of the nights you spent together: he had watched you as you slept then, too. 

You had ended things after he had to tie you up to prevent you from killing him. But the two of you remained close friends. After the battle, everyone went their separate ways: Shadowheart had her parents, Karlach and Wyll went to Avernus, Lae’zel to fight a war with Vlaakith, and Gale to his mother and tower in Waterdeep. 

But you and Astarion really only had each other. Which was okay with you. You had continued to be an adventurer, with the ultimate goal of finding a way for Astarion to walk in the sun. 

But after a few months, your need for…privacy was overwhelming. And you didn’t really know how to tell Astarion this. You thought of hiring a prostitute, one who would be gentle or sweet with you, but you certainly couldn’t trust a stranger - you used to kill strangers all the time!

No, you wanted to just be alone, to pleasure yourself as much as you’d like and get it out of your system. 

Astarion being around didn’t help, either. You had always been quite attracted to him, and nowadays, he was around you far too often with his shirt off. To see him at the fall of night, when he rises from sleep, looking so handsome and restful, was pure temptation being left at your doorstep. 

You often thought about your nights together, and you wondered if he did too. But the two of you were so close now, you thought maybe it was wrong of you. You didn’t know, you were kind of born less than a year ago. You were still figuring out the world.

After the two of you had cleaned up from a fight, you drink at the inn, as you always did. Strangers often approached you: you and Astarion were quite a sight.

“Maybe we should disguise ourselves,” You jokingly offer, taking a large sip of ale as you try to ignore the burning stare from across the room. 

“I rather like turning them down, don’t you, darling?” He asks teasingly, giving you a naughty look over his wine glass. 

You hum. “I wish I didn't have to.” You realize you’ve had too much to drink, and you fear that maybe you're forgetting the ‘some things are for private and not public’ talk Astarion had with you. 

Astarion’s eyebrows knit. “What do you mean?”

“It’s…I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s private,” You recite, trying to cue him in while also realizing when you’ve been too vulnerable, too open. 

That woman was walking over now, and she was really unsettling. Something about her, maybe it was just her looks, but even the way she handled herself: she reminded you of Kressa. and Kressa reminded you of Orin. And Orin reminded you of….every disgustingly sinful thing you could recall. It was all so vague, so random and spotty, but you knew. 

You suddenly have the urge to jump out of your skin. Astarion notices her, too, and he reaches his hand across the table, taking yours in his. “Let’s get out of here, my darling. I’m famished, and you are exactly the treat I need,” he flirts, and you know it’s his act to get you away from the approaching woman, who has now retreated upon hearing Astarion’s declaration. 

His hand is cool, but it feels nice cradled in your own. You want to interlock your fingers with his, but you think twice. Once you get to your shared room, Astarion sits beside you on your bed. 

“Better now?”

“Yes, thank you,” You say, giving his hand a squeeze before releasing it, bringing your hand to mindlessly play with the ends of your hair. “Now that we’re in private, I can say whatever I’d like, right?”

“You can always say whatever you want, my dear. I just want you to be careful with who you share information with.” 

“But I can trust you.”

“Yes,” He says with conviction, his gaze soft and deep. 

But you cower under his devastating beauty. He was so handsome, and so close to you. Your mind was still on his hand and the way he had touched you; it was enough to send a shiver of arousal through your body. You felt that wetness between your thighs and you cursed at yourself because you knew that he knew.

“I don’t need to tell you. Don’t make me say it,” You turn your face away, trying to hide your rising blush from the fucking vampire, as if you could. Your heart is racing, and you wish he wouldn’t have sat so close to you. 

You look back at him as you speak. “I-I just need some privacy, is all.” 

His pupils dilate, his stare intense as he stands up. “Yes, of course, I understand,” You think he’s stumbling with his words, too. He has a familiar look on his face, like there’s something on the tip of his tongue, but he looks away from you. “And I won’t even tease you about it too much, my dear.”

You mindlessly rub your thighs together, trying to tangle with your rising heat. You think he’s about to leave, but he doesn’t move.

After a moment, “But, I could…help you. Be with you.” He turns to you, his eyes round and wet, and this was definitely not the reaction you had expected. It reminded you of when he confessed his feelings for you - and a pang of regret fills your heart. 

Astarion sits beside you again, taking your hand in his. “Don’t question this. If you want this, then just let me keep going, or I’ll lose my courage,” His voice is barely above a whisper, and his other hand slowly reaches for your jaw. 

His touch is light and curious. 

He brings his face close to yours, and you can feel the flutter of his pretty eyelashes against your skin as your eyes shut. His breath is on you, and your heart is racing. 

When you fail to stifle a moan, Astarion can’t help it any longer.

His lips meet yours decidedly, his grip on your jaw becoming just a bit tighter. His kisses are so soft, and Astarion moans when he gently pushes his tongue between your lips.

“So sweet,” Astarion breaks the kiss to whisper against your skin.

You only think about what Astarion said for a moment before his hand is trailing down your breast, undoing the laces of your shirt as you go.

Part of you wants him to stop, to slow down, because you’re afraid you’ll hurt him, or his touches will become painful, despite how featherlight they are: but none of these things happen as he frees your breasts from the clasp that keeps them from him.  

He breaks your soft kisses to eye your chest as he takes off his own shirt; and you can’t help but ogle him. But he’s doing the same to you, so you assure yourself it’s okay, that this is okay. 

“You’re so beautiful,” He places a kiss on your nipple, making you squirm in desperation. 

Astarion’s lips are on you again, and he’s pushing you back on the bed. He’s made expert work of the laces of your trousers, and he tugs them off, bringing your underclothes with them.

You’re fully naked, and feeling vulnerable - it had been a few months since you and Astarion had been together. And he was the only one you could remember.

You wonder if he even knew that. You don’t think you ever told him, but you think maybe that’s important. The thought completely disappears from your mind when Astarion brings his strong hands to spread your legs, revealing your glistening, swollen cunt. Your lips are puffy, your clit engorged, and you feel embarrassed by Astarion’s sudden examination of your sex. 

“Perfect,” He says, looking up at you as he places a kiss to your clit, a string of your juices trailing from his pretty lips. You couldn’t believe how desperate you were. His lips are on you again, his tongue lapping at your folds as he tastes you.  

Astarion is moaning against your sex, and he reluctantly pulls away from you only to finish undressing himself. Your heart is pounding wildly as you see the spring of his hardened sex, and you have nearly forgotten its size. 

Your vampiric friend doesn’t make you wait long before his lips are on your cunt again. His tongue is making slow, steady circles around your clit, and you think you might unravel beneath him right here and now. 

But Astarion must want to keep doing this with you, because he shifts his focus to your entrance. He pushes his tongue between your slick walls, meaning to taste your depths, something he had never done to you before. There was something intimate about it, something desperate and wanting, and he went as deep as his tongue would allow. 

He moved his tongue in and out of you, the sensation of his nose pressing against your clit driving you mad. 

His ruby eyes are watching you, locked on yours, and they are so unlike the other times you’d been with Astarion.

He was there. He was present, and he wanted to make you come, and he surely had other plans beyond that. 

By the time his lips wrap around your clit again, the waves of pleasure have built up, so high that every sensation of his touch sends shocks throughout your body. Every swipe of his tongue, every caress and light touch he’s leaving on your waist, your hips, your nipples: it drives you mad. Your cunt is convulsing before either of you can stop it, and you’re coming on his tongue.

Astarion releases you from his lips once you squirm away from him as he overstimulates you. 

“You’re delicious, love,” His voice is low and gruff, and gods is it sexy. “You must have a taste,“ is all he can manage before he crashes his lips into yours, fangs threatening to break the skin of your bottom lip. 

Your come is nearly tasteless, like water, and with its musk filling your nose, you understood why Astarion liked it. Suddenly, you were eager to taste his.

When one of his dexterous fingers probes your entrance, the sensation reminds you of her, you don’t even know what it is you recall, but your muscles instinctively contract after just a knuckle has entered you.

Astarion pulls away from you, eyes round with concern, pupils blown in lust. You can see how much he wants you, and Astarion is your best friend: your partner in crime. You trusted him fully.

And so, you blink away the thoughts of the past, and try to move forward. 

“More, please, Astarion,“ You moan, earning a sloppy grin from him as he gently eases two fingers into your entrance with almost no resistance. 

You can’t help but look at his strong hands and forearms as he begins to work on you, his dexterous fingers caressing that sweet spot inside of you that makes your legs tremble. You can see his veins, his muscles moving beneath his beautiful porcelain skin, and it makes it all more pleasurable.

“Like what you see?” He teases you, causing you to tilt your chin back to his face, which is arguably even more beautiful than any other inch of him: no, you think. He is just gorgeous all over. Plain and simple. 

“Yes, you’re so…” but you drift off, because Astarion is hitting that delicate spot inside you over and over, and you’re a mess. Astarion has captured your lips again, entrapping you in deep, tender kisses as you desperately clench around him, your juices flowing down his wrist and onto the bed.

“Gods above,” Astarion moans, pulling his fingers out of you before he uses your juices to wet his cock, pumping it in his fist as his eyes roam over you. “Let me give you more, darling, please.”

You aren’t sure what he means by this; you think it could be many things, or at least several things, but you aren’t good with figuring stuff out like that. By the context, you deduce that at the very least, he certainly means he wants to fuck you with his cock. 

His curls are disheveled, the tips of his hair bouncing as he thrusts into himself. His chin and nose are still wet with your juices, and you want to give him so much more. 

But you feared that if you continued on like this, if you let him fuck you, come in you, bite you, hold you, any of those things, you were seriously fucked if this was one sided. But then again, you were already so far gone. The man’s tongue had been inside you, for gods sake!

Yes, it was far, far too late for you.

Your heart was in his hand. Astarion must have seen you size yourself down; using his free hand, he tenderly cups your jaw, drawing you into a kiss that makes your heart jump in your chest. It brings back your courage.

“Please, Astarion, I want you inside of me,” You breathe against his jaw, and he moans at your words, pulling away to line himself up with your entrance. 

You feel the pressure as his tip pushes against your walls; Astarion is already a lost man, by what you can see. His eyebrows are drawn together, his eyes narrowed and focused on the sight of him pushing into you; his mouth is parted, and the tip of his fangs visible beyond his pretty full lips. 

Once he’s halfway inside you, he begins to slowly move in and out of you. He throws his head back with a sigh of relief as his pace quickens. 

“I’ve thought about this more than you know,” His words make your heart thump wildly in your chest, and he smiles at your reaction. Before he can push himself any further into you, his pace slows, and he brings his torso down to yours.

His kisses are so sweet, his tongue so gentle in your mouth, and he’s been so delicate with you, you can’t help the tears that start to fall down your cheeks. 

Astarion pulls away, his eyes locked to you as he plants a kiss to one tear and uses a thumb to swipe another. Before more tears could fall, Astarion’s pace quickens again, and his lips are planted to yours, wrapping you up in ecstasy. 

But the moment Astarion pushes deeper inside of you, he loses control, and he’s saying your name as he comes thick ropes of seed inside you. 

You sit up, giving Astarion some space to recover, as he did all the work. You sat at the edge of the bed and Astarion lay on his back. You realize you’ve totally zoned out once you feel the tips of Astarion’s fingers graze your naked back, sending a shiver through your body.

“What are you thinking?” Astarion prompts you. Surely, you can’t tell him that you are thinking you’re hopelessly in love with him and you want to spend forever with him. 

And this may have been irresponsible of you, too; you were a fertile woman, and you were a Bhaalspawn. You weren't sure about vampire fertility, or if the child would even be a Bhaalspawn considering your Father took away his essence in you. But you didn’t know. You couldn’t be sure. 

“I was thinking that was very special to me, and I was hoping you felt the same.” You thought that was pretty good and summed up your feelings well enough. Without the undying love part and the pesky fertility thing. Bah.

You hear Astarion sit up behind you. “That was the best sex I’ve ever had, love,” he says with a melancholy chuckle,”Yes, that was special to me. Everytime with you has been. You are very special to me.”

Before you can turn to face him, he wraps his arm around your waist, drawing you into him, maneuvering your back to his chest. He kisses your temple, and you close your eyes, trying to imagine a normal wedding to him rather than a Bhaalist one.

Masterlist

[theanimeoftheblackbunnymask]

What type of yandere do you think sigma and nikolai would be?

Sure!

Links: {Masterlist} {Jouno and Tecchou Yandere Idea}

Nikolai Gogol (Yandere Idea)

Nikolai is a lot to deal with, privacy is no longer a thing. Nikolai will never give you moment of peace. He's always talking to you, throwing random quizzes at you, using his ability to either see you, touch you or just mess with you.

But don't let this fool you, Nikolai is quite the manipulator. Nikolai tends to guilt trip you a lot, and likes to mock you and degrade you for his personal amusement while he hugs you.

A question you ask yourself a lot is if he actually loves you. It's not on a "He treats me like shit," kind of way, it'd more like, "He treats like I'm a pet/doll."

Nikolai often dresses you up in little outfits and has you help out with his tricks, even if they're super easy. Nikolai confuses you a lot. He claims that he hates human emotions and will kill you eventually, but his actions often contradict himself.

Also, out of all the yanderes, his punishments are the most cruel. His often energetic personality becomes a lot more sinister when he's upset. His smile wouldn't have any joy, it would sadistic and filled with anger, and the look in his eyes send a chill down your spine. When it comes to actual punishments, I can see Nikolai being on the more physical and emotional side of things. His punishments are often a mixture of emotional and physical pain. He'd always start his punishments off as a game, giving you two options on which game the two of you will be playing. This really fucks with your brain because he'll purposely make the game you choose harder and more painful. Games often very, but all of them end with you hiding in a dark corner, hugging your knees as you cry. Nikolai would only laugh at your expense and tell you that you're no fun. But keep in mind, his energy and joy during punishments is all an act, if you tic him off during these punishments, even a little bit, the facade will drop.

If it wasn't clear enough, Nikolai is definitely on the more playful and teasing side of things as a yandere, rarely taking things seriously and constantly being a pain in your side. It takes a lot to make him mad, he's attempting to lose all emotions afterall, but if you do, he just becomes a husk of a person, a truly terrifying sight.

King of stalking. He can literally disguise himself as anyone, and he uses this skill to his advantage. He often pretends to be the worker at places you often go to. That one Cafe across the street, oh yeah, he was hired there last week.

However, despite his strong desire to kill you, his biggest fear is losing you. You make him feel something, you make feel love, you make him weak. You keep him bound to the chains of emotions and make him never reach true freedom, so he wants to kill you, to be freed of you. But, the way you smile, the way you cry when he hurts you, the you walk, the way you yell at him when you grow sick of his mind games and quizzes, he grows more and more obsessed. He can't let you go. He just can't.

Fyodor influences his actions like crazy ngl. He loves talking about you, especially to Fyodor, and one day Fyodor told him that if he truly wanted you to love him, even if he does cruel things to you, he'd have to break you down into nothing, make you dependent on him for everything, and then build you back up in his image. However, Nikolai wants a doll that still has a lot of life in them, making you cry and scream would be much more enjoyable when it's sincere. But, a sweet, quiet, obedient doll, he wouldn't mind that either. With Nikolai, I feel like your actions will dictate how he'll want you.

Nikolai is very hard yandere to understand, and if his darling even wants to try and use Manipulation to get their way, you got another thing coming. Nikolai is far from dumb, and is also extremely aware, so sure, he'll play into the idea that you're gaining control over him day by day, but in reality, it's the other way around.

So in conclusion, Nikolai is definitely one of the more scary yanderes. He's extremely deceiving, but if I had to compare him to Fyodor, Dazai, or even worse, Jouno, than he's a fucking angel.

Sigma (Yandere Idea)

Sigma would be the sweetest fucking yandere, dear lord.

Sigma is probably the only yandere in BSD that wouldn't be abusive in nature. Maybe a little bit manipulative, but that's damn near about it.

I can see Sigma being a very protective darling, wanting to keep you away from any harm, emotional and physical.

He would do everything in his power to keep you a secret. He's already in a very dangerous position as a member of the DOA, but if Nikolai, or even worse Fyodor, finds out about your existence, he can't help but imagine what they'll do to you.

I'd say the relationship Sigma would have with his darling would be pretty normal for the most part. Whenever he comes home after a long day at the casino, he always makes sure to get you a gift, may it be flowers or a piece of jewelry.

Sigma would be very awkward with his love. He's barely lived life, let alone been in a relationship. The feelings he has for you are very foreign and often causes him stress, but whenever you do something romantic for him, he often goes blank.

Now, would Sigma kidnap you? Ehhhh, maybe, it depends. Sigma doesn't want to hurt you in anyway, and if you're not very keen on the idea of being kidnapped, he'll have to find another way to get to you.

When it comes to the topic of punishments, Sigma hates them. Sigma is extremely patient, so making him so upset to the point he'll punish you is a fucking talent. But, his punishments would be very light. He'll lock you in your room as a punishment, but the moment you start crying and begging to be let out, he caves. He has a massive soft spot for you and just wants your love and affection.

One downside of being with Sigma is your freedom. Sigma is very concerned about your safety, so in the beginning he would keep you hidden while he tended at the casino. However, as time went on, his paranoia began to grow. What if someone finds you and you get hurt? What if you get kidnapped? What if you left him? Thoughts like that would race in his head while at the casino, causing him to not be at the top of his game. So, he decided to keep you at the casino with him, keeping in his office while be worked. Keeping you secret from the DOA became significantly harder, but at least you're not alone.

You would definitely get stockholm syndrome with Sigma, if not just fall in love with him normally. Sigma is such a sweetheart, probably the best boyfriend in BSD. He is very awkward in the beginning due to him being unfamiliar with romance, but once he gets more comfortable, he becomes the perfect boyfriend.

[yuurei20]

Hi! Thank you so much for all your hard work compiling these posts for us! I would like to ask, is there a compilation of information regarding the MC/ Yuu? I'm referring to stuff like where they get their money from or any random details mentioned about themselves/ their home (Eg in the new White rabbit fest we find out that they can play the bugle of all things??) We know things like how their home is modelled off of earth with halloween and football but is there more information about themselves/ their personality? Just curious

Hello hello!! Thank you for this question!

Concerning the bugle: the prefect's ability to play instruments varies by dialogue option ^^

The same situation arises in Harveston!

Depending upon which option you go with the prefect can be either an accomplished bugle-player and/or flautist or just as poor at instruments as everybody else, and neither option seems to have any impact on the story ^^

The game-prefect is possibly being kept an empty slate on purpose!

This might actually be easier for EN, where things like personal pronouns (watashi/ore/boku/etc) are all "I" and anata/kimi/omae/etc are all "you," while which you opt to use in Japanese can portray a lot of information about yourself and your relationship to the person with whom you are speaking.

(It is very interesting that you mention football! In the second novel Yuuya asks Crewel if Spelldrive is similar to soccer or football and, while he is familiar with soccer, Crewel says that he has never heard of football before.)

Here is a small compilation of current information that I have!

・"Is it ever shown how the MC refers to other people?" (twitter link)

・Ace and the Prefect (pt1)

・Ace and the Prefect (pt2)

・Has the Perfect ever given gifts?

・Could it be that Idia actually considers the prefect to be a friend?

・Do Leona consider mc/yuu as friend or just a normal classmate?

・Grim and the Prefect

・Crowley and the Prefect

・Is the Prefect really like a counselor for the overblotters?

・How many people know about Yuu is actually from the other world

・I was wondering what yuuya does during the OB battles?

・is there anything in the novels where Yuuya going into a club is brought up?

・Does Crowley give the MC any allowance?

・Does blot not harm Yuya?

・Does novel Leona treat Yuuya differently compared to the game?

・Compilation of Ace/Yuuya (novel) interactions

・when Yuuya arrived in Twisted Wonderland, did he instantly understand the language there?

・With regards to the difference between the game and light novel is Yuuya more prominent in the novel than Yuu in the games

・Reactions to the prefect

・do you have any idea as to why the novel Yuu has severe social anxiety as opposed to the other Yuus?

・...what do you think of the idea that the game's MC is a Will'O the wisps Fae...disguised as a human... (twitter link)

・Did the novel talk about the effects of blot on normal people without magic?

・Yuu the ghost?

[the-moon-files]

Moon's Linked Universe Masterpost?!

----- Content under ✄-----

☆

Please understand Reader is Masc (he/him) unless stated otherwise.

GN = gender neutral (they/them)

Fem (she/her)

Mixed (any combo of pronouns)

Chronological order (ish). Check near the bottom of sections for newer posts.

☆

Humans are NOT hylians (Humans are Space Orcs AU):

The OG post, and a sorta intro to Humans are Space Orcs tumblr fandom/concept if ur unfamiliar - Humans aren't just round-eared Hylians?? | Piggyback rides and headcanons | Snippet of More headcanons (check the reblogs!) | Fighter!Reader and Even More headcanons | An Ungodly Amount of More headcanons. | ...you won't believe it. | You try some potions, as a human in Hyrule, and make some yourself! | Human v. Hylian cultural differences, we cant be That different, right?

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Twilight had human neighbors, this did not prepare him For You.

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(Clearly divided SFW / NSFW PORTIONS) Humans show affection differently than Hylians...?

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TF u mean humans can just,,?? Grab their enemies sword??? Out of their hands???!! While Fighting Them??!!!!!!

...

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You: Spirit Halloween, on the day of Halloween, could've given me a better disguise than that Yiga member.

|

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The Classic Linked Universe:

Guide!Reader, Linked Universe Incorrect Quotes | Soulmate Headcanons for Wild (BOTW Link) | GN Guide!Reader, Random Headcanons abt Chain Part 1 | GN Guide!Reader, Random Headcanons abt Chain Part 2 | GN Guide!Reader, Random Headcanons abt Chain Part 3 | Guide!Reader, the Chain being Down Bad for your voice lmao | A Language Barrier? Well, とくにか. (Encoded! Check the reblogs!) | GN Reader, you're a real flirt, no GOT bitches?? You even got Zelda??? | ...

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my ao3 <3

thanks for reading!! I hope you enjoy my silly stuff!! :)

[ashleyleygraves]

If I were to make the next Zelda game, what would I change?

Bring back underwater traversal and real Water Temples.

If you were to think about any iconic Zelda item that isn't a weapon, you'd most likely think about the hook/clawshot. I like that we can climb, but I miss the claw/hookshot. Personally, I'd have the Skyward Sword climbing mechanics where you can climb a little bit but not much, but make it so that the hook/clawshot can go on any surface. Even better is a double claw/hookshot so you can swing around like Spider-Man

Linkle. That's right, from the original Hyrule Warriors spin-off game. It would be cool if we got to choose to play as Link or Linkle at the beginning of the game. Make it so that Link can't get into Gerudo Town without a disguise like in Breath of the Wild, but also make it so Linkle can't get into Goron City without a disguise, that way it's even and there's no major advantage.

If Linkle can't be an option, I'd have Link be a different race than Hylian. Tears of the Kingdom already teased us with this concept with the Ancient Hero. Before TotK, the closest we got was Ocarina of Time/Majora's Mask Link who thought he was a Kokiri but found out that he was in fact Hylian and also had ghost masks to shapeshift into other races. (Or you could also add Linkle as this race too. But I think that's a bit much)

20 hearts OR harder enemies. With BotW, Link had 30 hearts. In literally every other Zelda game he had 20. With 30 hearts, it was a decent change in normal mode, but in Master Mode, it made it essential. Enemies did more damage and evolved from their normal mode counterparts. In TotK, Link has 40 hearts and no Master Mode. The enemies do basically the same damage as in BotW's normal mode and sometimes even far less with the decayed-unfused weapons. So I would make the series go back to 20 hearts or have Master Mode as the default difficulty.

A new fast travel system. Look, shrines were a good idea. Especially for a fast travel system, but if we're getting rid of the 10-20 extra hearts how I would do it, we need something else. For this, let's turn to Skyrim for just a second. The fast travel system there is broken because every cave, tower, dungeon, etc. is a fast travel point, but let's look at the towns/cities and important landmarks: they're fast travel points once we discover them. So let's turn those things into fast travel points in this hypothetical Zelda game. Now, what about the less significant parts of the map? Well, a few train stations around the map with a train. I mean, trains are in the Zelda universe. Spirit Tracks literally is about that, so it wouldn't be a big deal. I had this idea back in 2021, and now even fucking Fortnite has a train around a map with a few train stations in random spots.

This one will make a bit more sense if you read my "If I were to make a Zelda game, what would I keep?" post. Heart Pieces/Stamina pieces. You could go the normal route with 4 pieces makes a full thing or go Twilight Princess style with 5 pieces makes a full thing. These would probably be given as quest rewards in quests that are Side Adventures rather than Main Quests or Side Quests. Side quests would give you rupees or a rare item and Main Quests will give you more story progression.

Bring back the "one-and-done" races like the Kokiri, Twili, Minish, Zonai, Lokomo, etc.

[squea]

How do you get your alien sims to match their human disguise? Mine are always random and I can’t figure out how to link them like vampires or mermaids. I really like how your alien sim has the same face in both forms so if possible please share how you do it?

oughhh i do it with mccc ill show how under cut

make the disguise first. so make a human guy and save it to ur library

restart game

go in game, place ur human sim in a save

turn them into an alien using mccc

click on ur sim whilst in the form u want to copy the human appearance to: mccc> mc CAS > paste tray sim > the sim you just saved

sometimes turning them into an alien with mccc alters the other form, but you can just change ur aliens form, paste tray sim again, then i just edit household in cas to tweak skin colour and alienize them!

[unevenpatterns]

Fic idea - Jet banging his way through Zuko's secret identities... part 4?

Do I even have to say that this is jetko? I've written a very E-rated series with the above title. (I think it's pretty self-explanatory what happens in this series). So far it's featuring:

Zuko as Lee (link)

Blue Spirit (link)

Zuko disguised as a prison guard in Boiling Rock (link)

It has been requested that I did a reveal fic or added more, but I really tried to alter canon as little as possible and couldn't quite figure out how to do it.

Until I thought; screw it, we're just going post-cartoon and I refuse to listen to the comics anyway.

So, maybe one last installment featuring: Zuko as firelord visiting his uncle in Ba Sing Se. He finds his old hooded cape to go undercover as a normal not-a-firelord person, just to get a moment of peace and have a drink in a random bar. (he doesn't want to hear more about tea, or have anymore handsy noble ladies trying to get his attention 😓)

Jet still lives in Ba Sing Se and after a misunderstanding with a hook up, he learns that he makes for a great fake prostitute. He lures rich looking guys in and then steals whatever they have and bring it back to his Freedom fighters. True Robin Hood style.

When he spots a man in a hooded cape sitting alone with what is clearly some expensive looking shoes and a full purse, he hits his next target... 💰💰💰

.

(I'm already halfway through writing this btw)

It is writen, E-rated, proceed at your own risk: Ao3 - So much trouble

[makeyoumine69]

Unravel Desire

— PAIRING: Alpha!CatBoy!Patrick Bateman x Innocent!Omega!Reader

— SUMMARY: Being an Omega is hella hard, especially an undercover one like you, who has always hated the idea of belonging to someone just because of their biology. You have managed to keep your true nature a secret for a long time, but your mask of disguise begins to crack when the ever-cunning Patrick Bateman lays his eyes on you.

— CONTAINS: A/B/O dynamics, flirting & seduction, manipulative behavior, Patrick being a violent douchebag (not to the reader) and abusing his power.

— WORDS: 1.7k

— A/N: My new smutty miniseries is here! Tomorrow I'm going to make a full Masterlist for this story. I'm very nervous about this one, and I really hope you like it!

— LINKS: [MASTERLIST] [buy me a coffee]💓

Being an Omega was hella hard, especially an undercover one like you. You decided to hide your true nature because you wanted to be free and not belong to someone like an Alpha, who was so arrogant and brash just because of their biology. Even though you were an Omega, you managed to get a job at one of the best law firms in New York, and your boss was the only person who knew your secret. Why did you trust him? Well, because his daughter was an Omega as well, so he kind of empathized with you and that helped you to settle down in your life. And for a while you had even forgotten about all the shit you had to go through and how many times you were so close to the point of no return when some random Alphas almost kidnapped you.

Everything seemed to be fine until one day you met a mysterious yuppie — Patrick Bateman — in your office, his brown eyes caught you off guard the moment he spotted you, and not to mention that it was obvious he was an Alpha even before you got close to him because his pheromones were very strong. Probably if you didn't use any suppressors you would start soaking right away, but thank God you never forgot to use them.

Patrick was standing right next to the door to your boss's office and for a moment you even thought about turning around and coming back later, after Bateman leaves, but as soon as you turned to walk away you heard his velvety voice that sounded like a purr:

"I'm sorry, Miss. Maybe you can help me?" 

Damn!

With a sharp inhale, you spun around to face him — his gaze was so fucking captivating that you even forgot, for a moment, who you were and what you were doing here.

"Miss? Are you okay?" He chuckled, and that helped you come back down to earth.

"Oh yeah… sorry! I've had a busy day," you smiled, and only now did you notice his furry ears that matched his dark hair perfectly. "How can I help you?"

Patrick smirked back and walked over to you, offering you a handshake. "Pat Bateman."

Confused by his sudden gesture, you looked down at his palm, which was so large, and slowly slid yours into it. The moment you touched, you felt a strange tingling in your gut, but you managed to act naturally.

"I know who you are." You explained, taking your hand away and trying to ignore his strong scent, which definitely had an intoxicating effect on you. It was so strange, that had never happened to you before.

"Really?"

"My boss told me, and speaking of him, I was supposed to bring him some documents, so I don't really have much time," the more you stared at him, the more embarrassed you became, and that was actually annoying. "Sorry, I didn't mean to sound rude."

"Ohh, I doubt a pretty lady like you could offend anyone," he crooned, looking around at the door behind him. "Well, your boss seemed like a very busy person."

"We live in a busy city."

Grinning, Bateman cocked his head to the side and glanced down at the exposed part of your legs, the parts that were not hidden under your skirt. He did it very quickly and casually, but you noticed it and your heart did a flip-flop in your chest.

"That's right," he moved even closer, his tall frame hovering over you like a mountain. "I would really appreciate it if you would help me make an appointment with your boss as soon as possible."

You couldn't help but swallow hard. "How soon?"

"Mmm, how about… right now?"

Patrick took another step and now you were standing face to face.

"R-right now? I mean… I..." you stammered, literally afraid to raise your eyes to meet his dark ones. "I don't think he'll be mad if you come with me."

"Good," he murmured almost into your ear, his fluffy tail caressing your hip in an almost sensual way, but it was enough to make you flinch, which made him laugh. "Sorry, I just couldn't stop myself from trying to calm you down. You look so adorable when you're... scared."

A nervous giggle escaped your dry lips. "I'm sorry, what?"

Bateman didn't answer and that really freaked you out — for a second you thought he could see right through you.

"So what about the appointment?"  His sudden change of mood was both irritating and fascinating, as you didn't even realize you'd been looking straight at him for more than 30 seconds.

Coughing a little, you got serious and fixed your skirt twice — the way his hazel eyes glided over your body made you feel completely naked. 

"Let's do it, but quickly!" 

After you said that, you walked past him and knocked on the door several times. Patrick took out his cigar and put one hand in his pocket. The longer your boss didn't answer, the more anxious you got, because you could feel the artery on your neck beating so fast that the area around it literally burned. When the door finally opened, you rushed in faster than the speed of light, causing your boss to jerk to the side. 

Please, could this day just be a bad dream?

Almost half an hour later, Bateman was sitting across the wooden table from your boss, puffing on his cigar and watching the golden liquid splash in his glass.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Bateman! If I only knew you were coming, I would invite you inside as soon as possible!" Your boss grumbled, nervously tugging at his tie.

"Forget it," Bateman hissed, throwing one leg over the other. "I want to ask you something. That girl — she's special, right?"

Your boss hiccuped and nervously downed his whiskey in one gulp. "What girl?"

With a loud thump, Patrick slammed his glass down on the table, causing a poor old man to jump in his seat. "Stop playing dumb! You know exactly what I mean!"

"I... I really don't," he raised his hands defensively. "Mr. Bateman, I..."

"Shut the fuck up and listen," Patrick got up from the chair and started to walk back and forth, puffing on his cigar from time to time, and when he got closer to your boss, he blew rings of smoke right in his face. "That girl who just left your office, she is special. I could tell from the moment I met her. And you," he suddenly grabbed the old man by the throat and squeezed hard. "Fucking idiot, are you trying to convince me that I'm wrong?! You think you're immortal?"

Bateman gritted his teeth around the cigar, revealing his white, sharp fangs. 

"I'm s-so sorry! I really know nothing about her!"

Patrick was like a wild beast on the hunt, his eyes narrowed and his tail waving from side to side as if he was about to pounce on your boss.

"Have you forgotten that hiding Omegas is a fucking crime?" Bateman's voice lowered. "But luckily you're a fucking lawyer. Maybe that would help you, otherwise you would be in a fucking cell until your last day!"

Harshly, Patrick let go of him and the old man fell back into his seat.

Breathing heavily, your boss rubbed the red marks from Patrick's grip and whimpered. "Wha... w-what do you want me to do?"

A loud chuckle of satisfaction erupted from Bateman's broad chest when he heard those words. "That's what you should have said ever since the beginning, you old, stupid idiot," Patrick tapped his cigar, causing the ash to fall on your boss's suit. "My terms are pretty simple - you just give me the girl and I won't tell anyone about your 'little secret' so you can keep your puckered ass untouched… if you get my drift."

Bateman winked shamelessly at the old man and smiled wickedly as he saw his face getting duller by the second.

"All right, all right! What should I do?" 

"You don't have to do anything," Patrick said before finishing his drink. "Just let her fall into my hands. Everything would flow naturally, because you know... nature is unstoppable," he put the glass back on the table, his eyes darkening at the thought of you. "Even if she doesn't know it yet, she won't have a choice."

With that, Bateman turned on his heels and walked towards the door.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you," he turned back to your boss. "If you decide to play dirty, I'll make sure your little company ceases to exist."

And with that, Patrick finally left. Your boss closed his eyes from the searing pain in his chest, he thought he was going to have a heart attack.

This night was full of strange things, starting with the fact that you couldn't sleep and ending with the damn fever you had. At first you thought it was just a cold, but then you realized it was something kind of a heat, you remember a long time ago one of your friends, who just disappeared one day, told you about that strange feeling when your body was literally on fire and you wanted nothing more than to feel those big palms on your breasts...

Wait, what?

Panting, you sit on your bed and try to calm your heavy breathing, feeling little drops of sweat running down your forehead. Every time you closed your eyes — you had the images of him, his broad shoulders and dark, mesmerizing eyes in which you could drown.

Damn it, how did this happen?

You fidgeted on the sheets, rubbing your wrist — the place where he touched you. Slowly, and a little frightened, you brought your hand to your face, inhaling his masculine scent that made you gasp with… need? A sudden doorbell made you almost fall off the bed, but you managed to keep your balance at the last moment. Terrified, you got up and put on your silk robe before carefully stepping into your hallway. Trembling slightly, you decided to wait a moment in case someone could make it by mistake, but when the bell rang again, you pressed a hand to your chest and felt your heart beating so damn fast.

Who the hell could it be at this hour?

P.S. Thank you for reading until the end! Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. I don’t have a taglist. You can follow my side blog @makeyoumineagain and turn on notifications to know when I update!

[funishment-time]

Kokichi/ general with

87 75. 73 25 and 22?

ooh, kokichi-centric! i assume this is for this ask game since it's the only one i've reblogged that goes so High!

87.)Headcanon on Pregame V3 Characters?

i have lots, but generally, my Main Headcanon with all V3 characters is that part of Tsumugi's "fictional" story is right: there is an Ultimate Hunt going on. their pregame selves are actually a memory-wiped disguise, not their true selves. the Monokubs really did give them back their talents and base memories, just also threw a bunch of fake ones in there too. and there is indeed a reality show going on but...well, i won't get into it here. long story short V3 is a reversal of Danganronpa 1 in many ways.

it's basically just what a lot of people headcanon already but in reverse. i think there's a lot to play with there psychologically still.

for Kokichi specifically, i imagine he was a timid weeb guy who really wanted to be an edgelord so bad but just didn't have the Audacity. i'm reminded a little of Charlie MoistCritikal's story about how in college he wore a CD around his neck and acted like a douche to pretend to be a Mysterious Anime Character. like that. that's what pregame!Kokichi wanted to be.

75.) Unpopular Headcanon?

general: that a lot of relationships in the main timeline wouldn't happen if they weren't backed against a wall, esp with the protagonists. i don't think Kyoko would care much for Makoto in a Normie World, but i don't think she'd care much for most folks. i don't think Kaede would be any closer to Shuichi than her other classmates either (and i'm someone who's gung-ho for a platonic soulmates thing with them). which is fine really! lots of interpretations and timelines to explore

for Keech: that Kokichi is 99% gay but would have a crush on a rare girl, like Kaede

73.) Popular Headcanon?

general: a lot of characters are actually plus-sized.

for Keech: that Kokichi is 99% gay. i guess technically he'd be bi or pan in my mind (see above) but i don't personally view him as one that cares for labels, and it's mostly guys he likes to play with

25.) Favorite Anthology Chapter?

i haven't read all the Translated/Fanslated anthologies, only the DR1 ones. (i'm not sure where to find the others. if anyone could link them to me, let me know.) but i loved the comics about Junko and Mukuro before Muki really had a defined personality of her own, and she was kind of just the annoyed older sister being dragged along on her crazy younger sister's stupid schemes. i'm reminded of the one where they temporarily adopt Mondo because he can't get a girl and become the Despair Triplets. crack central.

i also like the one where a blank-faced Kyoko just hides in things like a cat to find out where people might hide a body. and the one where she throws a horseshoe crab into a pot of stew everyone's making. they are genuinely close to how i imagine Kyoko really is on a personal level: just kind of a Beautiful Freak who doesn't interact with reality very much

22.) Favorite Random/Unnecessary Moment?

Hiro's dumb fucking stories about his life. the UFO burger abduction and the 100% unnecessary aside about how his dad burned down their house because he was smoking in bed (i assume that's why Mrs. Hagakure mentions she's divorced in UDG) and even Makoto's like ???? god bless Yasuhiro

[would-this-pokemon-be-a-friend]

Evolution Line Spotlight: Zorua & Zoroark (570-571)

For our first evolution line spotlight, we’ve got a pretty severe rank gap. It’s interesting, because zoruas and zoroarks have pretty similar personalities. A lot of it comes down to size: zoruas are a much more manageable size, so this evolution line’s move set is a lot less formidable coming from them. They also don’t have quite as formidable claws as their evolution.

As I talked about in each of the two’s personal posts [linked below], they both have some pretty powerful illusion abilities, but they use them in different ways. In the wild, when these two evolution stages are found living together, zoroarks act like the protectors, so their illusions are a lot more in-your-face. They like to disguise their lairs, where the more vulnerable zoruas hide, with scary illusions, while the little guys mostly just disguise themselves to avoid attention. Both of these things are gonna be kinda awkward for a pet, but I reckon that having a pet disguise your entire home is gonna really annoy your neighbors. And good luck getting mailmen to drop off packages near your home, if they can even find it. They’d be great to have around at Halloween time, though.

This is a bit of a random side-note but I wonder how badly this species sheds. I know someone with a dog with black fur that gets absolutely everywhere to a really bothersome extent. Both evolutions of the species have a lot of fur, but again I’ve got to look to zoroark as the potentially worse offender. I could imagine that mane shedding a lot. I mean, when you think about it, they have like five feet of hair. People with fur allergies might have a big issue with that. I’d also like to reference a comment left on the original zoroark post by @shrimpmandan: zoruas and zoroarks are foxes, and foxes are STINKY! I wouldn’t be surprised if their illusions can cover their smell for survival purposes, but when you’re at home they’re probably not always going to be in illusion-mode. Bathing them, especially zoroarks, if going to be a whole ordeal.

If I had to recommend one stage of this pokémon as a pet, I’d definitely go with zorua. If you live somewhere with a strict landlord, HOA, or something like that, it’s probably going to be a lot easier to convince them to let you have one for a lot of reasons. I mean, let’s be honest, there’s probably a prejudice against dark-type pokémon as pets in a lot of places since they’re often associated with “evil”: your better chance at getting permission to have one is the cuter, less dangerous kind. I definitely don’t think zoroarks would be a terrible pet or anything, but they’re a particularly tough one to get social acceptance of. If you’re already an owner of a zorua, I wouldn’t recommend evolving them unless you have the space (of course) and are confident that the people you live around won’t be too put off by it. That being said, so long as you don’t get kicked out or anything, you don’t always have to worry about what other people think.

Would I personally have a zorua or a zoroark as a pet? Probably not. I think they’re really neat, but I think I’d have a hard time dealing with their illusions. I have a lot of sensory issues that I think could be aggravated by being constantly confronted with stimuli that I know is false. Also the shedding and the smell. All respect to the prospective zorua or zoroark owners out there! ❤️

Zorua Post: https://www.tumblr.com/would-this-pokemon-be-a-friend/734002549347287040/can-zorua-and-zoroark-being-good-pet-they-maybe-a?source=share

Zoroark Post: https://www.tumblr.com/would-this-pokemon-be-a-friend/730103133132455936/i-wonder-would-a-zoroark-either-the-unovan-or?source=share

[youcanfixthatchameleoncircuit]

So completely random theory that has no real evidence to support it but I just think is fun

What if Nifty is Eve in disguise?

They’re both like bad boys (Lucifer), Nifty stabbed Adam like the mad woman she is but what if there was a more personal reason for her enjoyment out of it?

I think there’s a certain poetry to the person responsible for Hell’s creation (via the curse of the apple), is saving it, and her descendants, from her dick of an ex-husband.

The fact that Nifty is really Eve could also link to the theory that Lilith is the one behind Alastor’s deal. Maybe she is spying on him for Lilith with a disguise that not even Lucifer could see through.

It would also make the scene of Nifty flirting with Lucifer that much more interesting 😂

Also their smiles just seem so similar to me, like one is full of teeth but they have the same vibe

[noirandchocolate]

In a huge Sooga mood today so here's some random headcanons about my version of that big strong Right Hand (you know, this handsome guy) who I'd never ask for rent to stay in my head:

He loves sweets (it's like his one vice). Big fruit lover even beyond the Yigas' cultural penchant for bananas, and he looooves honey. Fried bananas with honey on them? Oh my god. (Honestly it's a shame chocolate doesn't exist in my Hyrule. He'd be all over that.)

He's a light sleeper when out of the Karusa Complex on missions, always alert to the slightest sounds even when it's not his turn for guard duty. At home, though, he tends to fall dead asleep and be difficult to wake up...before his body just naturally does it at an early hour, exactly when he's supposed to get up and get ready for his first duties of the day. It’s uncanny. A little creepy.

If that linked art didn’t make it obvious, my Sooga’s high split-ponytail is ornamental—part of the Right Hand’s uniform. (That style seems to be based on kabuki theater wigs such as this iconic one for the character Kamakura Gongorō Kagemasu in the play “Shibaraku.”) He usually keeps his actual (4c-textured) hair in short braids ending at the nape of his neck, but he’s been growing it out longer post-AoC events. However keep in mind his face in the linked art isn’t his real one; it’s his standard disguise technique one!

He's half-Sheikah on his father's side and originally lived in Lurelin Village. He hasn't been back since joining the Clan. I'll leave it at that for now. However a less serious headcanon is that one thing he misses from childhood in Lurelin is fresh fish on the daily. His favorite is porgy!

When he first joined the Clan as a child, before he began his serious weapons training in earnest, Sooga's assigned tasks around the Complex often involved working with the Clan's apothecaries to prepare medicines, poisons, spice and herb blends etc. He has a strong interest in plants that earned him chore assignments like that, and also always enjoyed going on missions to Satori Mountain to gather herbs and fruits and veggies as a young teenager. He loves it when the desert has one of its blooming seasons and there are flowers everywhere, and has cacti and succulents he's planted around that he checks on all the time.

Master Kohga’s Right Hand at the time Sooga joined, my OC Chisao, took a shine to Sooga almost immediately and became his mentor when it came time to truly begin his martial training. Now that he himself is Right Hand (Chisao's still alive he just persuaded the Master to let him pass on the role to a younger man), Sooga strives to do Chisao proud when training his own new Blademaster candidates in particular. (However, he does NOT think of Chisao—or anyone else in the Clan for that matter—as an adoptive parent or anything like that. Because of reasons, ie he was and is NOT looking for that in his life.)

Sooga’s currently (post-Calamity) getting lessons in Ancient Sheikah calligraphy from Kohga. He wants to be more artistically cultured in addition to his martial skills, because Kohga is talented with stuff like that and he sees it as a way to be closer with his dear partner. <3

He’s got a dry sense of humor that can get a little morbid. (Think Morticia Addams’s “oh no…he lives” or his own “Your Highness, I bring news. It regards your impending death.”) Absurd circumstances, statements, and actions by others also make him laugh. He’ll usually cover his mouth/the place where his mouth is under his mask while he keeps a lid on his quiet laughter but occasionally something will surprise him into really laughing out loud and it’s kind of adorable.

Most Yiga have a simple, usually small tattoo of the Inverted Eye on them somewhere. Sooga’s is on his left shoulder blade and it’s (unsurprisingly) bigger than average.

His mask got cracked in a fight with a lynel pretty shortly after he became Right Hand and got it. He could have another made no problem, but chooses to keep the broken one "as a reminder that to persevere even in the face of loss may lead to victory, but also that even in victory there may be lasting consequence.”

Okay I'll stop but I just love hiiiiim so muuuuuch~

[tashacee]

Imagine if Dark Link appears and is in the form of Hylian!Wild when he meets Aspect!Wild. Making himself if he got his information wrong.

Okay but. Aspect!Wild is off doing something away from the others, probably with Twilight. Probably causing trouble or practicing their handshake or something.

Anyway.

Dink rocks up to the Chain wearing Wild's Hylian body and is like 'how do you do fellow heroes, I also am a Link' and the Chain just... buys it. They're like 'yep, this is true and accurate' and just let Dink settle in as one of them.

Cue Wild coming back in time to make dinner. And he sees Dink sitting there, wearing his body. And Wind is halfway through introducing them when Wild just lunges. Because this creep is wearing his body, of course he's evil!

No one understands why he's attacking this random new hero who showed up and try to stop him, but Wild is mad.

And in the end he forces Dink to reveal himself and flee. The Chain are amazed. No one can understand how they were all fooled and yet Wild saw through his disguise instantly.

They all agree it must be a cat thing.

Wild wants to go to bed.

[tweedlebugged]

Squinting at the latest dndads episode suspiciously and poking it with a stick. Because on the one hand, it definitely feels like something sus is going on under the surface here and Anthony’s going to pull the rug out any minute now.

On the other, this is a show called Dungeons and Daddies and you kind of have to accept on admission that the characters can and will twist the logical rules of the universe into a pretzel in service of a really good goof. So there’s no way to tell right now what seems a little weird For the Drama and what seems a little weird For the Bit.

Take Jodie. Last season he was this badass demon and objectively the most put together dad, and now he’s this kind of pathetic loser trying to get back with his ex. His ex who he’s definitely been broken up with for over two decades at this point, given that he was already dating Scam during the Church of the Doodler stuff only a few years post season 1. And he was a really involved dad who is obviously disappointed in Nicky for not being part of Taylor’s life, but also he seems totally indifferent toward Hermie and pinches his nose when he has to be near him? It’s weird! And he acts so eager to use these kids and is VERY obviously trying to manipulate them—the whole chosen one thing tbh, and giving scary “secret” information and telling her she smells so super evil when she’s just…not lol—but then gets worried and tries to stop Scary when she does something that will actually hurt her. Officer Foster sir what the fuck is your deal?

But also—Jodie the cringe fail King of Hell is hilarious and Jimmy could just have been leaning into that new persona because it’s good radio. And it was! So who knows!

And Glenn. We know he canonically helped found DADDIES and was working to take down the Doodler (fighting at the Church, putting in the super fast elevator) and Nicky continued to be involved for years after, so clearly the Close/Foster family cared about the Doodler stuff at one point. So how did Glenn end up with the Doodler’s anchor and why is he maiming children to keep them from getting it? Children he should probably recognize and care about at least a little! (Although to be fair Taylor and Link are both still wearing skull masks)

But ALSO—and I say this lovingly—Glenn does have a slight history of being a selfish garbage man, and even though his character grew a lot by the end of season 1 it still wouldn’t be outside the realm of possibility for him to have looked around after his friends were gone, realized all of his loved ones were actually safe, and decided to fuck off to do cool things in hell instead. Especially after the other kiddads betrayed Nicky. Anthony did say that he’d let the players decide what happened to their characters, and while I don’t know Mr. Frederick Wong personally “fighting 666 demons in mega hell with the love of his life” does have the exact vibe of an ending he’d choose for Glenn.

So is Glenn under the influence of the anchor somehow? Is he actually one of the Likely family in disguise? Or is Freddy taking full advantage of being Glenn again to play out this character to its logical and EXTREMELY funny conclusion? Impossible to say!

And finally Agent Schmegan and the FBI. All that work hunting Nicky to the point that he had to abandon his family and stalking Taylor until they had an opportunity to draw out his dad, all so they could capture Nicky and torture him into letting them into hell. And now suddenly all they needed was text message permission from some random unrelated teenager and they could open a portal themselves? That’s fishy! And they had special weapons designed to take down Nicky, who said if they ever captured him his dads would be dead, but now Jodie can fight them all by himself without much issue? Feels a little like a scam, actually!

BUT ALSO—the 12 soccer players have been tied to the FBI since the FBI was introduced, and it makes sense to play out those stories at the same time. And since you can only go to hell once, bringing the FBI there now could take them out as a threat to Nicky. Which is more a narrative move than a comedy beat but would still be very funny when he loses his excuse to be an absentee dad and has to actually interact with Taylor. And his ex wife. And her new boyfriend.

This post isn’t going anywhere, the episode just reminded me why trying to theorize about Dungeons and Daddies is like trying to connect a conspiracy board with silly string (affectionate)